I promised myself I'd never read fan fiction...then I did. Then I promised myself I'd never write it...then I did. Oops.
These days I'm working more than full-time, and I hardly have time to breathe, let alone read or write, but the Potter series will always remain near and dear to my heart.
TOMROHT
Hmm...interesting. Andromeda is definitely in a tough position, whether she and Ted are fighting or not. Nice story...
Cold pizza and Harry Potter fan fiction at 4:19 a.m. What more could you ask for?
Good job...
TOMROHT
Author's Response: Yes, Andromeda is a tough place. I have always felt bad for her, and wondered just how she felt about her family. I can\'t imagine that she could just start hating them. It doesn\'t seem logical.
Thanks so much for the review!
As for what could be better, I would say hot pizza and Harry Potter fan fic at 4:19 a.m. I am a night hawk, but not such a fan of cold pizza. :)
Hmm...when I read a story like this, I have to wonder if the author has personal experience with the matter...but I won't ask. Nice job...
TOMROHT
Author's Response: Thanks... but for the records I haven\'t had any personal experience with the matter, nor I know anyone who has, or that I know of...
*~*Sweet Pea aka Anna Banana*~*
Hmm...good story. There were a few minor errors...but this is very well written. Nice job!
TOMROHT
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I\'m glad you enjoyed. I would really appreciate it if you could point out the errors so I can get them fixed up. Thanks again!
Hey...nice job! Yay us! And other stuff...I see the other poem you wrote didn't make it...so sorry 'bout that...
TOMROHT
Author's Response: Yeah...the other one got deleted...and that sucks big...um...lemons. Thanks for reviewing, dude...
Hey, dude...I see no one has been reading your story...poem...whatever. Or at least they haven't been reviewing...hmm...sorry 'bout that. Hey, are you going to try that other one again...? I think it could make it...hopefully...
Anyway, yeah...
TOMROHT
Author's Response: YEA....do u steel have the other one?...well i hope so....oh and WERE\"S Homyon? LOL and Leminy...lol.well ttyl peace
Author's Response: Edit to \"Author\'s Response\": Yeah...do you still have the other one? Well, I hope so...oh, and where\'s Hermyown? LOL...and Lemony...lol. Well, ttyl...peace.
Hmm...very good overall...
You said criticism was appreciated...so I'll just point out a couple of things...I don't like to be too terribly evil about it, since my own stories are far from perfect...
“Oh, err, sorry your Maj- I mean Princess Ginny.”
“Yes, your M- Princess Ginny.”
This is Dennis, correct? These should probably be combined--only one set of quotation marks, you know?
There are some other minor things...no big deal...
Nice job...I look forward to reading more. (Though I must confess I was/am a bit confused by the whole princes and princesses thing...how odd...)
TOMROHT
Author's Response: Hi there! I have seen your reviews and read some of your stories! It\'s dooo awesome that you are reviewing mine :)... OH SHOOOT..... about that... I just went to look at it and I saw that somehow i forgot to add in a line... It was supposed to be something along the lines of.... \"Tell him I\'m coming\" said Ginny. Hehe yes it is a bit confusing at first isn\'t it?
Wow...I've never thought of Rodophus as a very kind person...but then...Bellatrix...yeah...
So, nice job...very well-written...
TOMROHT
Author's Response: I always write Rodolphus as the more evil one. I think he is. But in this particular story, he simply got the upper hand because he was able to get Bella\'s wand before she knew he was there. Obviously, she would have fought back if she had of been able to.
Thanks for your compliments. Glad you liked it.
Wow...good. I read this after chapter three...no idea how that happened. It's nice to know how Andromeda found her sister...I wondered...
Well, nice job; keep it up...
TOMROHT
Author's Response: Hehe! Thanks for reviewing. I love to hear that people like this story. It was kind of like an obsession when I wrote it.
And, yep, reading the chapters in order will cut back on confusion. I promise. *giggles*
Thanks again for reviewing!
Interesting...Tonks wants to talk to her Auntie Bella...hmm...
Nice job...it's 3:15 a.m., but I think I'll keep reading...
"...but Bella knew her niece was going to as impossible as she could manage..." Shouldn't there be a be in there somewhere...?
"You’ve already hurt enough." Eh?
TOMROHT
Author's Response: Hehe. More like Tonks wants to tell her Aunt Bella off, but meh. Anyway, I thought she was pretty impossible. And I assure you she is not going to be any nicer to Bella later on. Thanks for the review! :D
Hmmm...they're both so warm and loving...ick.
Nice job...very well written...
TOMROHT
Author's Response: Well, they are sisters and they haven\'t seen each other in years. Not to mention everything they have suffered through. A little warmth couldn\'t hurt either of them.
Thanks so much for the review! :D
Interesting concept--Tonks babysitting her aunt.
This is a good chapter, I think...though I don't know why...I really like Tonks.
Um, "Don’t you worry about the kind of genes you’ll passing down to your children?" Perhaps ...the kind of genes you'll pass down to your children, or ...the kind of genes you'll be passing down to your children?
TOMROHT
Author's Response: Tonks babysitting her aunt is about how helpless Bella has actually become because of what Rodolphus did to her. It also gives us another look at how they interact with each other, which isn\'t well. And it gets Ted and Bella in the same room, which I haven\'t done before.
I\'m glad you still manage to like my Tonks. I don\'t really want to turn her into a villian. She has reasons for disliking her aunt and they are all valid. She\'s only trying to protect her mother. Unlike Andromeda, she has never seen her aunt as anything other than a monster.
And that sentence was meant to have a \"be\" in it. I have no idea why I miss so many words lately. I proofread this stuff, I really do. *shrugs* Anyway, I shall go fix that.
Thanks for another review! :D
Oh, also, "She drank the foul tasting contraption..." Contraption isn't really the right word, is it? Definition: a mechanical contrivance; gadget; device...did you maybe mean concoction?
TOMROHT
Author's Response: Hmmm...I\'ve seen that word used in stranger places, but perhaps substance...
Thanks for pointing this stuff out; I really do appreciate it.
Hmm...very good...congrats to Bellatrix on finding that ever-elusive door knob...
Um, "They allowed her to lean against them as tried to regain her balance." ...As she tried to regain her balance...
Is the next chapter ready yet...? Or is there a next chapter...? We shall see, eh?
Nice story...
TOMROHT
Author's Response: :D Glad you enjoyed. And the door knob thing was really challenging for her. All of the sudden, everything has become very challenging for her. It\'s sad, really.
Yep, I missed the word she in that sentence. I have no idea what is up with my proofreading skills lately. Will fix.
Chapter nine is in que. And chapter ten is ready to go in as soon as nine gets through. Ten is the last chapter, but the most action happens in nine. :D
Oh...wow! Very good. Not entirely unexpected--Bella killing, um, not Rodolphus...but shocking still...I don't know. Wow...
Nice job.
TOMROHT
Author's Response: :D Thanks for the review. I will be posting the next and final chapter as soon as I have a working computer in my hourse, possible sometime in 2020.
:( Anyway, thanks again for the review. I love reviews!
Author's Response: Ha! I got the last chapter in que! *does happy dance*
Oh...nice ending. Well, I mean the whole thing was good...but that ending is, um, powerful...
Very, very nice...
One thing though..."She wished she had of stayed home." Eh? Maybe just take out "of..." Eh?
Excellent...
TOMROHT
Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed! I\'ll fix the grammer thing.
Hmm...Pureblood/Mudblood tensions, even in Bella's weakened state...
Very well written overall I think...though I was a bit confused at one point:
Again, Elizabeth quickly regained her composure. After all, what was Bella to her but an escaped Death Eater? She was lucky this woman wasn’t having her hauled off to Azkaban. She certainly shouldn’t be expecting pity from her. She didn’t want it anyway. She didn’t want pity from anyone. I don't even know what to suggest here...there are some unclear pronoun references here. It's difficult to tell if "she" refers to Bella or Elizabeth at times.
Very nice job!
TOMROHT
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I\'m glad you\'re enjoying this. :D
I see what you mean about that paragraph. I think I know how to fix it. Thank you so much for pointing it out.
Very good so far...one question, though.
"...She jumped into a setting position..." Would that be a 'sitting position,' or...that's one of those I'm unsure of...just wondering...
Hmm...
TOMROHT
Author's Response: Glad your liking it.
And yes, you\'re right about the sitting thing. I will fix that up. Thanks for pointing it out. I make a lot of silly errors like that. You should see my rough copies. :D
Very, very nice. I really wish I could write meaningful poetry. (My last major work involved a blue trashcan...ugh.)
One suggestion, though...generally the first letter of each line of a poem is capitalized, right?
Very good...high praise...and other stuff...
TOMROHT
Author's Response: Not always (the capital letters). It doesn\'t have to be. A blue trash can??? o.O
Hmm...
...she knew that they would have many more Christmases together. How sad...
"God Rest Ye Merry Hippogriffs," right...?Not "marry..."
Hmm...
This is very well written overall, I think...um, about the seventh paragraph (the one that starts "She sighed and stared into the fire."), I don't know, that maybe just isn't the strongest section. It's a little awkward and repetitive--a couple of "happy Christmases" and a couple of "all the sudden..." This paragraph doesn't seem to flow as well as the rest of the story...
Very nice!
(And congrats to James and Sirius for returning with all appendages intact...)
TOMROHT
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I\'m glad you enjoyed.
I will read through that paragraph again sometime, and see if I can fix the flow a bit.
Thanks again for the review. :D
Ooh...there should of course be a space after the question mark in the (I think) third line of the last review. So sorry...
TOMROHT
Author's Response: *Giggles* I wouldn\'t lose sleep over that if I were you.