Hello there! I just read this for the SBBC. First of all, your story so far is quite lovely! The first part is adorable, especially the scene with Ginny. My critique: I think Ron seems a bit out of character. Like he's lost a bit of his spark, you know? For example: in the scene with Ginny, when she's eating his cake, he could have at least feigned anger with her, and they could have bickered a bit. I do realize, however, that he is sad that he's about to leave.

Great story, very sweet!

~Danielle

wonderful of course....

Author's Response: :-) I try my best.

Lovely. Both of it, I mean, I couldn't find any fault with either. And just curious, what will be the last chapter? How many after this one?


Author's Response: I think this was 29, and there\'s 34 in total. That makes 5 left in this book, and then there are 6 chapters in the final book. 11 all together!!!!

As someone else has said, I also read this fic to join the SBBC (though I just sent in the application!) So here you are, this is what I wrote in the application:


I thoroughly enjoyed this story, for both its moral and its bluntness about a topic as complex as this (though it is portrayed in a most uncomplicated way). Young Hermione’s wise view of the world at such a young age and not being afraid to speak her mind about a topic such as this is, and her speaking with the utmost frankness and compassion about a subject that seems truly important to her is unforgettable. On Kingsley’s part, his reluctance about helping a child—something he knows nothing about—is almost amusing, and gives a bit of a lighter undertone to the otherwise serious story. On a more important note though, Kingsley’s simple way to explain how he believes kindness and helpfulness truly affects the world influences Hermione, and will continue to influence her and her thoughts, her decisions, her actions, and overall, the world, gives Kingsley more depth to his character, despite his uncertainty about the subject.

I really enjoyed how “out in the open” the author was with the theme of this story (how a tiny act of kindness can effect the outcome of events for years to come, and in time, even affect the universe, something I believe we should all live by), for two main reasons. The first being that it saves us for having to sift through the story searching for hidden a meaning, which comes in handy in discussions such as these! Seriously though, I think its straight-forwardness really creates much more of an impact on the readers. Really getting the subject out in the open affects a person much more than--as I said earlier--having to dig for hidden meanings. The reader really understands the point the author is trying to prove. If it had been “covered up more” than it would be much less likely to really grab the reader’s attention, and therefore, not fully getting the theme across to the reader.

PS: I love Hermione's toothbrush comment! I had to re-read the story to get it at first (some Ravenclaw I am *rolls eyes at self). Her parents are dentists, you know! ;-)

Wonderful! Sorry, but it's the only thing I can think of to say. It's well written, has a great plot, and leaves readers with a cliffhanger (darn! update soon...)

The POV doesn't matter to me as long as you write another chapter and post soon! Though Aska's mind might be interesting.

Thanks for this! I really needed it, to get me in the holiday mood. Your writing is excellent, it flows very nicely. Very very sweet, congrats!

~Danielle

Great! I really love Christine! Very interesting...
But why does Christine hate the Minister so much? Why is she determined to take down the Ministry? And when does Harry come into this?
Please update soon so I can find out! :-)

Author's Response: The reasons of why Christine hates the minister comes out of her prejudice against politicians, and reasons which are to be revealed later. Christine also finds several things wrong with the Ministry, things that she finds important enough to change. As for Harry, we will see him in th next chapter. :)

Man. *awestruck*

Wow. Speechless. And this is coming from an avid Hermione/Ron shipper! Your reasoning, your narrative, your wonderful insight into Hermione's head and keeping her so in character. Bravo.

Author's Response: Thank you, that really means a lot to me to know I was able to appease to the R/Hr crowd, I really did try on this one! Thank you so much for the nice review!