That was really great! Very original, and a really nice insight to Ron's character. It had great parallels, and it was sweet, funny, and heartwarming - good job!
That was really great! Very original, and a really nice insight to Ron's character. It had great parallels, and it was sweet, funny, and heartwarming - good job!
what happened?! everything was going lovely, Oh no?! update speedily please ;)
Author's Response: Yeah, they rejected my story because it wasn't long enough. It has to be 1,000 words apparently if it's not a "prologue". Stupid in my opinion. So yeah, I'm currently trying to add more info! Thx for reading!
I liked it, very good start. Can't wait for Chapter Two ;)
good job; it was a nice idea for a "Ron and Hermione finally get on with it" story. I'm really starting to enjoy the way all these R/Hr stories involve Harry saying 'it's about bloody time' at the end...
Author's Response: Thanks for taking the time to review, but do I detect a hint of sarcasm there?
I just thought I'd post a response to the response of my first review: if you did switch it to humor, I think it would be great. All my criticism is basically due to the fact that you have it categorized as romance... and I must commend you on your response too, I'm glad there are people who can take constructive critisicm.
Author's Response: A response to a response? Alright. lol That's a good idea. I'm going to switch it later today, I was just waiting for Chapter 7 to go up. Thank you :) There's not too many people now who do... but thanks! ~Shell
Just read chapter seven (bet you weren't expecting me too, but I did, hee hee). It was good - it's very...ummm... 'strangely' organized. All over the place. I'm not sure how I feel about it (even if it'a a bad or good thing), but there it is. You write quite well, and the intricacies of your plot are very creative. You're characters are funny, for sure. I think you ruin the read a bit by putting quotes in the summaries, though (like the funny ones: not funny when you actually get around to reading it, and the Ginny thing: would have been better to read it in the context, than to see it first and know what's happening before even getting through the chapter). What else? I'll be reading again when you update - and yeah, the mods are getting more strict, I haven't had trouble myself, but I know quite a few people who are. (And I've read the stuff they're trying to submit and it's great compared to half the stuff already on the site, so, beats me what's up... hope you have better luck with chapter eight!)
Author's Response: Lol, you submitted it twice. Anyway, Nope I wasn't expecting that! Thanks for reading! Okay! I'll get rid of the funny quotes, thanks for telling me. I don't want to ruin it for everyone. Ya, I hate that the mods are getting stricter. It's much harder to submit things now. (Yep, I've read some too. I will never understand why they do that...) Thanks for the review, the ideas, and for reading :) ~Shell
Just read chapter seven (bet you weren't expecting me too, but I did, hee hee). It was good - it's very...ummm... 'strangely' organized. All over the place. I'm not sure how I feel about it (even if it'a a bad or good thing), but there it is. You write quite well, and the intricacies of your plot are very creative. You're characters are funny, for sure. I think you ruin the read a bit by putting quotes in the summaries, though (like the funny ones: not funny when you actually get around to reading it, and the Ginny thing: would have been better to read it in the context, than to see it first and know what's happening before even getting through the chapter). What else? I'll be reading again when you update - and yeah, the mods are getting more strict, I haven't had trouble myself, but I know quite a few people who are. (And I've read the stuff they're trying to submit and it's great compared to half the stuff already on the site, so, beats me what's up... hope you have better luck with chapter eight!)
The story has a really interesting premise, and is quite witty - but I don't think you set about writing it believably, and other than the obvious character trademarks, it doesn't feel in character at all. Shouldn't Harry be feeling quite overwhelmed with seeing his parents and Sirius? It's not really developed well either... It would be good as a humor fic - but as a romance fic, I expected to take it somewhat more seriously, and I find myself unable to do that. It's good, good enough for me to give the six chapters a quick read-through, but not fantastic.
Author's Response: You know what? That's a good point. A very good point. I think I'll switch it. Thank you for pointing that out to me. I'm sorry that you don't believe it's well developed, and that you don't like it. Thanks for the review.. ~Shell
That. Was. Absolutely. Beautiful.
It's being put in my favorites so that I can read it over and over again. Brilliantly written. This story matches the way I feel about Ron and Hermione - it's perfect.
Author's Response: Thank you, thank you, thank you! *hugs* You're awesome!
Very good. Brilliant, really. And OoC Hermione? What OoC Hermione? She seemed perfect to me... I really liked the whole thing, it was splendiferous! And romantically suspenseful. Bravo!
Author's Response: Wow, I wasn't expecting people to like that one very much. I wrote in just over an hour. Thanks!
Good job! I like it, it's getting good and I'm intrigued. It's all still very in character, and well writen. Keep up the good work...
It was good. Everyone [Harry, particularly] is very in character, the atmosphere and the circumstances are very fitting to the Potterverse. My only critisicm is that the first chapter took place to fast. It was a little without warning, not developed enough. You might have wanted to make it a bit longer, give more reference to You-Know-Who attacking Muggles before hand, and showing Hermione before she recieved the letter and seeing Ron's thoughts would have been nice. I know that sounds like an awful lot of criticism, but I do really like your story - I'll be anxiously awaiting an update, I think it's clear you are a talented writer and I have a sneaking suspicion that your story is going to - for lack of a better word - rock.
Author's Response: God, I feel a it pressured now! Thanx for the review; it didn't feel like criticism. The story originally began as a one-shot but I changed it in the end so I guess the first chapter does throw you straight into the story. Chapter 4 should be up soon. (i hope). Thanx again.
That was great. Hey, can I be a total loser and point out to you that a pupil is really nothing more than a hole in the center of the iris, and therefore technically is not a tangible 'part' of the eye. Okay, sorry, (And I wonder why my friends think I'm like Hermione...) But yeah, that was FANTABULOUS! Loved Gred & Forge. Am I right in guessing Ginny will be the solution to Ron's problems?
Author's Response: Wow! So, should it be 'the movable iris' for the Extendable Eye, then :) ? Thanks for the review and information! By the way, I love Hermione, so you must be adorable :) :) :)
First of all, I love Ginny. And you demonstrated EXACTLY why... how many girls can explain a female perspective to her older brother using Sports terms? Bravo! And you're writing is superb too. I think my grin almost spread wings and flew off my face when she started talking about Harry...
Author's Response: Awwww! I am blushing, really! Yours was the nicest compliment I ever had, THANK YOU SO MUCH! I hope your grin will reach JKR so that she'll give Ginny what her heart (and mine :)) truly desires!!! :) :)
I loved Percy's chapter (ron's letter was hilarious,as was Percy's response) very good, very in character. You have this posted on Godric's Hollow, too, no?
Author's Response: Thanks for the cool review! I had SO MUCH FUN writing this chapter I'm glad you found it hilarious too :)...
OH. MY. GOODNESS! I am in a state of pure bliss. ... There, I just hugged my computer monitor. It's my hug for you, our wonderful author who has provided me with the best chapter ever. Usual the climactic fluff is confined to the end, but the whole last chapter? ::sigh:: I can die happy now. Wait - what happens with Ginny and Harry? ::wink wink::
Author's Response: Hey, here is for you: XOXOXOX !!! :D THANKS A ZILLION TIMES for the NICE REVIEW! I am working on a 'Harry-Ginny AND Ron-Hermione' story, with a wedding involved! I hope you'll stay on board for the next fluff! ;D ;D
Must calm down before reviewing. Oh, this is comic genius; I have never laughed so loud or hard while reading a fic. Pure brilliance. I am also thouroughly amazed that you pulled this off in character; I thought Sirius was perfect (and if there is any character I am most picky about being in character, it's Sirius). It's very rare to find a humor fic this *interesting* that keeps the canon!characters. I have nothing to critique, this fiction was perfectly entertaining, and I commend you. Splendid job.
Author's Response: Comic genius? Blimey. Thanks VERY much for your review, I'm extremely flattered! I also have no idea how I managed to keep them in-character. Perhaps Sirius/James/Barbara are just Meant To Be and I did nothing at all. ;)
you just turned twelve? this is really good for such a young age. The first chapter did a good job of raising questions in the reader's head, and intriguing us for the next chapter. I don't think Harry will be at the Dursley's all the way until his birthday in HBP - but it is fan-fiction, so I guess it doesn't matter. I think it's funny that the Dursley's took Harry shopping ;) Oh... and was the Sirius watch a coincidence, or did you borrow it from my story [it's alright if you did ;)]
still good. I think some of development is moving a bit too quickly. For instance - this is the first time Ron and Hermione have seen Harry since they left Hogwarts, right? I'd imagine Hermione to be very fussy about him, and Ron to be acting like someone walking on eggshells. Harry's going to be a little moody. And noticing Ginny probably should have been just noticing Ginny - he shouldn't have realized it for what it was so soon. I think there should be more tension over Percy, too - and a much bigger Weasley welcome for Harry. Remember what percy said to Ron about Harry - there should be tension there, too. Your writing is still good, but I think you need to get more inside the heads of your characters.