writing my own story. It's taking forever. I also like to read what others write.
nice chapter with Blaise. Makes you wonder how trustworthy he is. Will he tell others about the invisibility cloak?
Conglomerate stone seems to foreshadow Harry doing alot of traveling outside of Hogwarts.
re Animagus. I'm surprised that no one suggested a snake since Harry is Parseltongue. But I am confident you will make the wolf work.
Author's Response: Harry is going to tell the others himself about it. i mention that somewhere later. He does do some traveling. I want him to be independent. It\'s key for this story for him to not rely on others too much. thank you!! ~Sara
Portrayal of Dumbledore is interesting now that DH is out, how Dumbledore doesn't outrightly say that desire for power is bad but does warn that there is a right choice that has to be made.
Comment about Snape is insightful, that he doesn't want to be saved but to save.
Author's Response: That\'s very true!! Funny how that worked out!
Well, power isn\'t necessarily a bad thing; it just depends on what you do with it. Thanks for the review!! ~Sara
Generally I like this story. Harry is still in character and yet can try to be friends with Draco. Yet he doesn't despise Ron and Hermione. The one thing that did surprise me was that the Slytherin's didn't applaud him for joining the Slytherin table. For the Slytherins to have the famous Harry Potter in their house should be the ultimate compliment. (Just consider how happy they were to have Victor Krum join them in book 4.
Author's Response: That\'s true about the applauding. I didn\'t think about that, and that\'s very true. You make a lot of good points. Thank you for the review! ~Sara
I like how you cover the same ground as in Sorcerer's Stone but with a little twist. Does Draco know that Harry hangs out with Hagrid? Draco didn't seem to fond of Hagrid in the real book.
Author's Response: No, Draco doesn\'t know that he\'s friends with Hagrid or Ron and Hermione. Draco doesn\'t like Hagrid; he\'s a halfblood. ~Sara
I like the friendly competion between Harry and Ackley. Is Ackley canon? Also it occured to me that Draco should be jealous of Harry playing seeker, shouldn't he? I was reading the reviewer who questioned who Lucius talked to that Draco over heard when he was seven. How could that be Voldemort? He's been vapor since Harry and Draco were one.
Author's Response: I never said the person was Voldemort. I never said it was anyone, really. I just had it in my mind that the person was just another Death Eater. Voldemort never told his Death Eaters that he was going after the Sorcerer’s Stone. Obviously, he was just vapor, like you said. But let’s just say that Lucius was randomly talking about the Stone and Draco overheard it.
Yeah, Draco should be jealous. I did think of that, I just always forgot to write it in. But I can add it in during second year. Oh, and I made Ackley up. Thanks for the review! ~Sara
good chapter interesting twist, But in this chapter and the last Harry is actually having Buddy moments with Snape which makes me question why Snape is acting relatively decent to Harry. I don't mind it, but it might run the risk of having Snape be out of character. For instance having Snape make Harry go into Quirrel's office to see that it is empty can be a good example of taking an advantage of an opportunity, but why would Snape take Harry along to the Forbidden Forest?
To agree with another poster, Harry's scar should have hurt when Voldemort looked at him. But I'll make believe it happened.
Author's Response: Yeah, Harry\'s scar should have hurt. I forgot about that. Sorry.
Snape took advantage of the fact that Harry was there at Quirrel’s office. It would have been weird for him to go in since they clearly don’t like each other, but if Harry went in, he could have had a viable reason, like schoolwork. About the Forbidden Forest: well, Snape gave Harry detention and he needed those plants, so he decided to use Harry to get some more of them. That’s really it. They happened to come across Voldemort.
I know the ‘buddy moments’ are weird. Like when Snape grabbed Harry when they were in the forest. But he still is a student and would’ve been in a lot of trouble if he just left a student lingering in the dangerous forest. Dumbledore probably would’ve killed him (figuratively, of course).
Thank you! ~Sara
2 picky points that are probably irrelevant. Harry could have lied and said that it wasn't Ron or Hermione that he was writing to (although his answer was just as noncommittal). After all Harry could have be corresponding with Seamus and Pavarti for all Draco knows.
THe other thing was that the Ouidditch match in SS took place the 1st Sat after Halloween. Like I said minor detail.
Author's Response: Yeah, that\'s true, but Draco has seen Harry talking with Ron and Hermione. So that would be his first guess. Yeah, I just couldn\'t remember when the Quidditch game was, so I just wrote it in then because I had the idea for it. Thanks for the review! ~Sara
again being a little nitpicky. In canon Dumbledore wasn't there for the game that Harry's broom got jinxed. So was it Dumbledore who slowed Harry and Leven's descent? Or was it someone else? I noticed later Snape is explaining something to Dumbledore in the Great Hall, is he telling Dumbledore what happened at Quidditch?
Harry's dream sequence adds a nice touch to the chapter. Snape's nastiness is consistent with the rest of your story. The only thing is I can't picture Snape verbally saying to the Slytherins that it is ok for them to call him "Snape." I can see him saying at the begining that everyone must refer to him as professer or sir, but as a matter of action if a Slytherin just calls him Snape, he wouldn't have a fit. Although he would for Harry. I do like how Harry calls him professer instead of sir.
Author's Response: It was Dumbledore that slowed it. He was there in mine. In the Great Hall, they were talking about it and Quirrel, which Harry hears about later also. Sir just seems more formal to me than professor and it also seems like your calling the person master, and I doubt Harry wants to do that. Yeah, it seems weird. But I just wanted to further emphasize the difference in how Snape treats Harry to the other Sytherins. ~Sara
My goodness, I think it has been about a year since I last reviewed this story. I kinda got blown away by the fact that you changed what happened after Fluffy. Some of the obstacles confused me. It wasn't so obvious as to what teachers made what obstacles. Plus things were getting busy so I've been procrastinating reading this story.
Author's Response: Its okay, I\'m just glad you\'re back!! Sorry it got complicated. And I didn\'t really base the obstacles on teachers. I know I was supposed to, but I just liked the idea I came up with. I hope you keep reading!! Thanks for the review! ~Sara
I like it when you add new mysteries to a familiar story. It looks as though Harry is bound and determined to hate Snape regardless.
Author's Response: Yeah, it would appear so, and I don\'t know if that will change. I\'ll see. And thank you! ~Sara
My only complaint is the pairing of Ron and Hermione. Hermione at this point is just a bossy know it all. Harry doesn't get to know her until after Halloween. Therefore he doesn't know that he might miss her friendship.
Author's Response: In this story it\'s changed. Without Harry there, Ron and Hermione become friends. That\'s the background story of my story. They might now actually like each other right then, but let\'s just say they become better friends. Well, I hope you liked it and will continue reading! ~Sara
Good to see Harry interacting with the other Slytherins.
Author's Response: Yep.
The long time no see doesn't sound like Voldemort-- much too casual and informal.
The injuries to Ron and Draco make a good excuse for Harry to go it alone.
Author's Response: I see what you mean. Too informal. I\'ll have to watch what I make Voldemort say. That\'s why I had the injuries. Harry couldn\'t really go with them, if you know what I mean. ~Sara
I like Voldemort's assessment as to why Harry is in Slytherin. Ambition and Power. and yet Harry saved Draco in the last chapter. Sort of repeating the duel vision of the Mirror of Erised.
When in the mirror the reflection drops the stone in his pocket, it should be there. I don't see the point of Harry telling Snape that he doesn't have the stone, then he discovers that he does.
Also I'm not sure why Harry would bother hitting Quirrel with the Stone. It wasn't all that big, was it? THe protection that his mother gave him really should have been enough to make Quirrel take his hands off Harry.
Before Snape gets put out of commission, he hears Quirrel say that he is working for Voldemort. If Your story makes it to book 4, one wonders how Snape will explain this to Voldemort.
I note that you have Harry smile as he is killing Quirrel. Omnimous(SP) sign?
Author's Response: The dual visison will be a repeat constantly throughout the story. I didn\'t want Harry to have the Stone immediately. There wasn\'t necessarily a point to him not getting the Stone immediately. Harry didn\'t know at first that he could burn Quirrel and he needed to do something quickly. I\'ll have to think about what Snape will say to Voldemort. You saw the smile. Yes, its a sign. But I won\'t go any farther. ~Sara
You present a Harry that is similiar to the Harry in canon and yet has a decision that the canon Harry will not have to make--that is choose power or choose friends. You keep making a good case for making friends, but you seem to have more difficulty making the case for power. What kind of power is Harry seeking? Your prev chapters say that Harry wants the kind that has other people bowing to him, yet Harry as of yet has not done anything to indicate he feels this way whereas he does try to maintain Ron and Hermione's friendship. It could be argued that his friendship with Draco is less of a friendship and more of a means to make his way in the wizarding world. THis would mean that Harry is using Draco. Maybe Harry should be using other people alittle. Does being a Slytherin mean that you can't be friends with blood traitors and Muggleborns? According to Draco in this story yes. but is it the opinion of other Slytherins? After all one's path to greatness might require the allegiance to these "unsavory characters" and a Slytherin should use any means available. You may want to reconsider relationships. Not because I care who Harry gets paired with but because why Harry gets goes out with a girl or why Harry chooses to not pursue a relationship might be important in the decision that Harry must make.
Author's Response: The power part comes later. You don\'t all of a sudden become evil. It\'s a gradual thing and that\'s what\'s going to happen. Things will change, I promise you. I wanted the first year to be more of a start up for him. Yes, being a Slytherin, they usually don\'t associate with blood traitors and muggleborns. I don\'t want to give anything away for future years and what\'s going to happen. I have already come up with something that\'s going to happen with a girl, but that won\'t happen till 5th year. That\'s for all the interesting points!! ~Sara
Winner of the QuickSilver Quills Award, categ. Best Marauder Era.
What did being a Marauder truly mean?... Let's just say that some tunes cannot be played by a lone musician; and those four's lives were certainly not soloists' scores. In class or in detention, in Quidditch matches or full-moon wanderings, fleeing before monsters or confronting dark wizards, they wrote, measure after measure, their own eight-handed piece.Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs, are proud to present a Symphony for Quartet.
Interesting start. a party to celebrate Sirius going to Hogwarts. I thought it odd that Andromedia would be disowned so young. After all I expect pure bloods would be allowed one indiscretion in their youth before they were expected to shape up.
Author's Response: Andromeda isn't exactly disowned, but let's say she already suffers from her family's displeasure... She's already hanging around with Ted Tonks, and she must have had quite a few shouting matches with her parents about it. Also, let's not forget it's only Sirius' mother talking, not the whole family. From what I know about her, I think she must be the most... bigoted... of the Black family. After all, she disowned Sirius when he was only sixteen...
Part of me thinks the treatment of Regulus might be a little cliched. I have two sons who are three years apart and the rivalry isn't that bad. On the other hand my husband who is two years younger than his brother said his brother could be very annoying. Altho they get along they aren't overly close. It's just that you may want to be careful how you treat Regulus. He may be annoying to Sirius but not necessarily all that bad.
Author's Response: We don't see much of Regulus in that chapter, actually. What we see is a little boy, furious because his brother and a boy he doesn't know messed up his room. He wanted to retaliate and so he threw at James the dirtiest insult he could think of (especially with the mother he has).
The problem isn't really Regulus; it's about Sirius. Sirius is a reckless, self-assured boy, revolted against everything (even remotely) related to his mother's strict principles. Including Regulus, who abides by them. I'd say Regulus is both admiring (as most little boys are of their older brothers) and terrified of Sirius. As for Sirius, if he eventually acts almost cruel to Regulus, it's because Regulus is the only human being he has any power on. After being yelled at and bullied by his mother, it must be a relief for him to bully Regulus. And I know for a fact teasing and bothering is a huge part of a relationship between siblings.
I'm sorry for the mistakes I doubtless made while answering your review, English isn't my first language. I promise I'll be careful when I treat Regulus again, which will happen as soon as the boys are in their third year.
thanks for the review!Generally I like your story, (I wouldn't review it otherwise). The question I have is does Lucius know that Severus is a half-blood? It would seem as though he wouldn't because if he did why would he bother introducing him to James and Sirius. (I like the way you assign Lucius the role of making sure all the purebloods get to know each other.) Since Lucius doesn't know, it doesn't seem right that James should figure it out so quickly. The way you started the animosity between the four and Snape is believable
Author's Response: I wondered if someone would ask me that question... Yes, Lucius Malfoy knows Snape is a pureblood. And, surprisingly, it's because he does know that he introduced him to Sirius and James.
You see, Malfoy isn't used to taking care of poor first-years--quite the contrary. But as he told James, he met Snape during the summer and he was struck to see so much talent in such a small and poor boy. He thought Snape so gifted--which he truly is--that he decided to forget he was poor and a half-blood. He wanted to make sure that boy wouldn't grow to be a dangerous enemy, so he decided to make him enter his circle of friends. Thus, he convinced Snape not to tell anyone about his humble origins, and he thought that if Snape had one or two pure-blood friends, then he would be believed to be a pure-blood. And Malfoy didn't know other eleven-year-old pure-bloods than James and Sirius, and he didn't think they would be indifferent to the purity of blood. Actually Bellatrix saw Snape exactly as he is: Lucius' protégé.
I hope that was convincing enough!Thanks for responding to my question about Snape in the previous chap. I liked how you told the sorting from the different points of view.
Author's Response: Thank you for the review. I liked writing this chapter too, as it's one of the rare ones where I can write from all the four points of view. So if you liked that too, that's all I could hope for. I hope you'll like the rest!
As I read about Lily, it occurs to me that she has to be a difficult character to write. In book 5, she kind of reminded me of Hermione with her righteous way of thinking. But in book 6, Slughorn seems to imply that was popular and likable, perhaps a little like Ginny. In this chapter Lily does remind me of Ginny as she was in the Chamber of Secrets-- shy, unsure of herself, because because she wasn't possessed by Voldemort quick tempered. Good work.
Author's Response: Thank you very much. I thought a lot about Lily, too. JKR did say she was quite like Ginny, and I used that to write her in this chapter. But I also added an "Hermione-like" characteristic: as she's a Muggleborn, she'll want to prove to everyone she's as good a witch as a pureblood. But this rather shows in the following chapter.
Author's Response: In fact you wrote this review for chapter 5. Ah. I hadn't noticed that. So no, it doesn't show in the following chapter, it does show in chapter 5.