I too like your portrayal of Peter. Yes in book 3, he was a "rat", but during the school years he was their friend. I don't know how long this story will be (I hope you can make it to year 7), but you got 5 to 6 years to plant the seeds of betrayal. As far as the safe/save error that was pointed out, that is a common phonetic mistake. My son when he is in his creative moments tends to make such phonetic errors, (uses loose instead of lose and leased instead of least). The point is you are a good writer.

Author's Response: Wow. WOW. I almost swallowed the gum I was chewing (I know, bad habit, but if I don't chew I eat so...) in shock. Thanks a lot for telling me I'm a good author, no matter how many mistakes I make. I'm really, really pleased to read that. I'm also pleased you liked Peter, he's the most difficult character to write as he's the Marauder we know the least about (was that grammatically correct?). Anyway, thanks for another review, I hope you won't be disappointed in the future, and yes I plan to write up to their seventh year.

Interesting start to a unique story.

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm having a lot of fun writing it!

enjoyable chapter.

Author's Response: Thanks! Again, I've had a lot of fun writing it!

It just occured to me that Ariadne's parents are an extreme version of Lupin trying to hold on to his friends.

I see Voldemort's curse is working again.

good chapter.

Author's Response: Dear R, That\'s an interesting point. I think the MacDougals want to avoid conflict at all costs, even among people whom they don\'t particularly like ... so, yes, an extreme. I had great fun with those DADA teachers! I thought Professor Tepes would just be a walk-on part, but she unexpectedly reappeared in Book IV - that was a great surprise to me! Thanks for keeping up the reviews, GhV

Good begining, I was never aware that there was a regional dialect that used modal verbs in the continuous tense. Learn new things every day :).

Author's Response: Dear Rambkowalczyk, See, I\'m learning to spell it! Thank you for venturing into a very different genre of story from \"Corner\", and I hope you have fun here. Regards, GhV

excellant chapter, although I did have to look up a couple of words. Architrave, chesterfield, although not common words in Connecticut, help give this story a sense of place.

Author's Response: Dear R, You do work hard! I\'m afraid I skip over words that I don\'t understand and just hope the meaning will become clear. I suppose you don\'t have many CHESTERFIELDS in Connecticut, but I\'m surprised you don\'t have ARCHITRAVES. Thanks for reviewing, GhV

Good chapter, though I am still wondering If Lupin will have his job in the morning.

Although told from the point of view of the little girl, the story gives an interesting insight to the parents. Certainly they don't seem to approve of Voldemort's methods, but they are wrapped up in their politeness that they don't seem to see people as they are.

Author's Response: Dear R, You have pretty well hit it off. The MacDougals are ultra-polite and not at all criminal, but they take an ostrich approach to life. Bad people wouldn\'t come near them, which may explain why they don\'t suspect Remus earlier than they do. You\'ll have to wait until chapter 17 to find out about Remus\'s \"next morning\"! Thanks for your input, GhV

I'm still kinda hoping that Velata isn't really dead, but unfortunately I remembered that one of the Malfoy cousins figured out her talent and told the Death Eaters about it. Since you made her a Gryffindor, I can see where she'd rather die than help them. Darn! Darn! Darn!

Good portrayal of the boringness of war.

Author's Response: Dear R, What happened to Veleta is so nasty that you don\'t want to know. But you will know, because the circumstances of her demise are important to the later plot. Thank you for caring, GhV

sad story.

Just a nit pick. Are you using Fenwick Greyback as the one who bit Remus or are you going for a random werewolf who bit Remus. What was curious was that the werewolf wasn't vicious when it bit Remus. An interesting twist.

Author's Response: Dear R, Not really a twist, it\'s just that I wrote this pre-HBP. I did make revisions afterwards, but I decided there was nothing in this chapter to indicate that the werewolf wasn\'t Greyback, so I let it stand. Greyback becomes a character in Part IV, which I designed post-HBP, and where he was very useful to the plot. Thanks for reviewing, GhV

I'm a little slow but I just noticed that the chapters involving Ariadne seem to have the word deceit in it. In this chapter Ariadne discovers that her fellow Gryffindor roomates are not deceitful but open even to the point of apparant rudeness which she finds very refreshing.

But there was one moment of confusion that required this reader to read very carefully. For instance the section that starts with Ariadne and Veleta try to avoid Slughorn's invitations then go to how shocked that Ariadne is that Hestia and Veleta can disagree loudly and passionately and still remain friends, then goes to Ariadne surprise at Hestio's directness and how it contrasts with her parents, to how Sarah and Wendy can refuse requests without permenantly hurting feelings. All of the above relate because they are concrete examples of how her friends are different from her parents.

But right after this Ariadne is asking Veleta where Hestia and the conversation goes into Veleta's Locospector gifts. This is confusing because just previous Sarah and Wendy were arguing about clothes, but now are no longer in the conversation. So do Sarah and Wendy know that Veleta is a Loco Specter?

Another minor point, When Veleta uses the Floo Powder to the Staff room it might help if it said that she just poked her head in it, as I was assuming at first that both Veleta and Ariadne traveled by Floo Powder to the Staff room.

But except for these minor things this chapter introduces Veleta as an interesting character in her own right.


Author's Response: Dear Rambkowalczyk, That was a really interesting and helpful review. You are making me feel that, for the sake of my professionalism as a writer as well as for my readers, I should revise this chapter. You are right, the point of all the exchanges among the girls was to show that most people are willing to say what they think and hear it from others. They were separate incidents, not necessarily on the same day, although I realise now that the clothes talk did glide into the locospection conversation a little too smoothly. Ariadne only listened to what Sarah and Wendy were saying about clothes; she didn\'t join in; and they took no interest in what she was saying to Veleta. So, no, the other dorm-mates don\'t know about Veleta\'s locospection. (In fact, the only people who do know are Dumbledore, McGonagall, Veleta\'s brothers and now Ariadne, although you wouldn\'t necessarily grasp this from the text.) That is something I will definitely include in any future revision, because it turns out to be fairly important that only Ariadne was in Veleta\'s confidence. Also a good point about the Floo. I took it for granted that students are not allowed to Floo randomly into the staff room, but it never hurts to clarify! Keep an eye on Veleta - she matters to the story. And Ariadne\'s conflict between the need to be truthful and the need to be sympathetic is definitely going to create long-term problems for her. Thanks for all your input, GhV