I love the way you portray Luna. You manage to capture her rather difficult personality perfectly. I also liked the little things you mentioned about who was doing what on the Hogwarts grounds at night, and the way you mixed mirth and seriousness into the conversation between the friends. This scene really rings true, as though it could actually happen in the HP world--good job!

How do you manage to pack so many emotions into one short little one-shot? This is the third story of yours I’ve read in a row, and I feel like I should be floating or something--too much good characterizations and well written friendship. You’re making me happy against my will here! I’m giving up trying to say something coherent, so you’ll have to deal with this instead.

I had the impression that Moody was older than Molly and Arthur by quite a bit, that Lucius was slightly younger, and that Narcissa had been to school during the Marauders’ times. Since this is a story of fluff, fluff, and more fluff, I won’t harp on the point, but let it be noted.

Maeve has solidified in my mind as a good character put a truly unpleasant person. Her disdain of Arthur really makes a point; he gets that treatment from many people his entire life, and yet he doesn’t let it bother him. It subtly reminds the reader that even though he’s a lovesick fool and an oddball, he really does have a strong character. I’m glad you’ve put that into the story, because otherwise Arthur’s surface foolishness would seem degrading.

Shane reminds me too much of Sirius. When I read him I always feel like we’re seeing a slightly different version of the same character, and I don’t like that. Whether you did this intentionally or not, it comes off poorly to the critical reader.

The short exchange about children was perfect. It really shows how they end up as their future selves, and once there, how they mange to take being poor. The fact that everyone else was shocked and rather disdainful served to underline that Molly and Arthur really are a good match. I’m loving this story.

I went looking over here in the humor section for some good laughs, and I found them! This was wonderfully entertaining. I especially loved Filch--he was IC and very amusing. Watching Snape attempt to keep his dignity in such a ridiculous situation was absolutely hilarious, and you wrote him well enough that I could actually imagine that was how he’d react. Fawkes’s ‘present’ was slightly predictable, but funny all the same. It does make me wonder, though…does phoenix poop have any magical characteristics? Maybe it doesn’t come off….

Author's Response: Thank you for your reveiw; it really perked me up today! :D I'm pleased to finally have some comments on the characters, as I sort of just went with my instincts with both this chapter *and* Let's Floo Crookshanks. I'm guessing your question about the phoenix poo was answered in the next chapter? *grin* Your idea is a good one, though. It's made me consider a new discovery for the poo in each chapter *insert thoughtful smiley here* Thanks again VERY much for your review!!

You know how long I’ve been waiting for this chapter…..and I now pronounce it worth the wait. The references back to the first two chapters were great--particularly the book that Snape was reading, the Return of the Sign, and broken-nosed Hufflepuffs. Everyone was still very IC. I assume Dumbledore was controlling his teeth throughout this chapter? That was perfect.

Author's Response: I'm thoroughly glad it was worth the wait. I already have ideas for the next chapter, and I hope the wait isn't as long this time. Thank you so much for your patience and kind words; they really brighten up my day! P.S. Yes, Dumbledore was controlling them. ;) Naughty, naughty man.

While I liked the general idea for this (and would love to see it extend to other characters) I do think it could have been done better. I like stories that have some tie-in to cannon and which keep the characters more IC. I know that Voldemort had to be childish for the sake of this story, but events and other characters could be used to tie it in a bit. Still, the story was good for a quick laugh, and judging by your other reviews, more than a quick laugh to a lot of people, so good job!

I’ve often wondered what the Marauder’s Map would say to various people…and now I can find out. I think the present tense worked very well for the story, and the comments were just the sort of things the marauder’s would have said. I rarely beg for authors to continue their work, but I’m going to now--please tell us what the Map says to others!

*laughs* Very nice. And look at the marauders going about their day to day business---how to get into as much trouble as possible, and get out of it again without getting caught. I found it funny, and I thought the image of the three boys standing around staring down the drain after their best friend was funny. I also thought the ideas they came up with to get him out were quite interesting and very realistic--overall, it was both humorous and believable, a hard combination to achieve.

There are two parts to this story: Molly and Ginny. I’ll address them as separately as possible, just so this review makes some sort of sense.

Molly first, then. By not mentioning her name, you placed her in the role of narrator. It focused the story more towards Ginny, and allowed the reader to slide over Molly to some extent. However, there were a few rough points there. I think the Molly presented here has too much of a bias towards Ginny, and not enough attention for her other children. She loves the boys dearly, and I don’t see her ‘blowing them off’ as much as she seems to in parts of this. Furthermore, there is a bit of a contradiction near the beginning. It sounds as though Molly wants a ‘girly girl.’ Why, then, does she name the child after a warrior queen? And why doesn’t she express even a passing disappointment when Ginny does all the things that annoy Molly when the boys do them?

Those points aside, Molly is well done. She sounds very much like a mother who cares dearly about her child. Her pride is so well justified, and perfectly tinged with worry. You did a wonderful job capturing that combination of emotions.

Ginny. Your portrayal of her as more of a tomboy was spot on. I really liked how you filled in the times between when Harry sees her. The passing comments of tea parties and shopping trips during her last year at home were sweet. And you justified her sudden appearance in Harry’s life during OOTP, where she seems to come out of nowhere. Her attempted strength at the end was spot on.

Nice fic. I look forward to reading more of your stories.

Oh, wow! Where to start?

I suppose your writing style would be the logical place, since it was the first thing I noticed. It is very distinctive and interesting--I think you have a nice voice as an author. There’s just enough flavor there to make for interesting reading, without overwhelming the reader. There’s a lot of personality there, and I really like it. I didn’t notice any grammar errors, per se, but there were a few places with odd word order. I’m slightly ashamed to say that I didn’t stop to quote them.

I think this is a very original plot idea. Depending on the direction it takes, I might find myself very enthralled with it. This might be a good fic to use for discussion in SPEW if you feel comfortable volunteering it--the originality could spark some interesting conversations.

This chapter was very well paced as well--interesting and descriptive both.

My one piece of con-crit, if you can call it that, was that I didn’t get a very good feel for the characters in this chapter. I get the feeling that it might have been done intentionally, but it still left me feeling as though I was trying to read an Occlumens. It made me slightly less than sympathetic with the Auror, though I am very intrigued with the criminal.