This was rather short, but funny anyway. I’m afraid I am once again out of comments---poor Snape. I’m surprised he hasn’t blown his top and cursed everyone yet, stuck with McGonagall and Dumbledore.

Dumbledore seemed suitably relaxed. Everyone managed to stay in character--especially Hermione. “Malfoy inadvertently brought up a good point” struck me as funny. I also like the way Seamus, Harry, and Ron are goofing off---I imagine that annoys Hermione to the point of explosion.

This is the best chapter yet---and as Dumbledore said, “poor Mr. Weasley!” Though I think Hermione deserves more pity--she’s just trying to put on a play, and no one will be professional about it. You are doing an astounding job keeping everyone in character, and considering how hard that is, I don’t think you’ll tire of hearing me say it. Hermione slaps Nott, and Harry and Ron get Draco with his own billy club---go Gryffindor!

More Draco torture----but I’m afraid I don’t have much more to say about this chapter. It was rather short, and good without being brilliant---so there’s not much for me to comment on. Sorry.

Ok, I take back what I said about Cedric in my last review--that was brilliant (well, brilliant writing. Cedric was just stupid.) The teachers are continuing to get better, and McGonagall succeeded in making me laugh this time. Actually, I spend a lot of time laughing in this chapter. The bit with Colin was also very funny, if a bit sad for the poor, enthusiastic boy. I thought Hermione’s interruption was slightly OOC--she’s so serious about making the play seem professional that I doubt she would interrupt it even for a history lesson. However, this chapter was great overall.

Hello again. This was very interesting. It wasn’t as good as some of your works, but then, some of your works are unsurpassable. I don’t know why it didn’t click for me, but just didn’t…personal preference, I suppose, and nothing you could help. Still written very well, and a nice look into the world of Luna Lovegood. The flashbacks were well placed, and I liked her mother--the brief glance you gave me of her made me want more.

I think you’ve captured Neville perfectly here--no less than I would expect from you. Wonderfully written as always. I loved the way you built one upon the original quote a little at the time until you got to the ending--it was a nice touch to add to a nice story. A very good message there about quiet courage, and well illustrated.

Your stories of Hermione separate from the Trio always leave me with a sense of dread for the future of the books. You portray it so accurately, so believably, and so simply that I’m left wondering if she won’t really do that. And then I have to imagine what would happen to Harry without her guidance, and how truly horrible the books would be without her presence. This was no exception. Therefore, my first impression upon reading the story was one of anxiety rather than the hope which it really should convey.

The writing was, as always, simply wonderful. It was simple, elegant, and just different enough to keep interest on the story without being distracting. The details which you chose to convey were very well chosen to keep the mood. Perfection.

I never would have thought of Mad-Eye as Hermione’s friend, but as soon as you mentioned it, it felt right. Of course he would appreciate her intelligence and protectiveness of the boys! And of course she would respect him, even though he’s a bit odd. After all, she’s hardly a normal person.

Hermione seemed just a tad arrogant for my taste in the beginning, and throughout ‘the boys’ seemed too downplayed. After all, they have both done their part. Even though you’re looking at the story from a different angle, it got in the way of my acceptance of the narration. It simply didn’t ring true.

The Diagon Alley scenes were all good, but for the sake of keeping this review a reasonable length I’ll skip ahead to the train. Hermione’s hurt at how easily Ginny took her place worked well. I liked the way everyone in the compartment just accepted it without teasing her about it. It shows a lot about their friendship.

As symbolic as the scene at the Welcoming Feast was (and it was wonderful) I find it hard to believe that they’re allowed to do that. Even with Dumbledore as Headmaster. It might have worked better if a teacher had made a move to stop it, and Dumbledore had discreetly told the teacher to let it pass, just so that there was some mention of the professors.

“It is four against one, but the one simply cannot bring themselves to care.” That has to be my favourite line. It sums up the friendship of the group of friends perfectly, and explains exactly why it is that they will win.

“She loved them – perhaps still loves them – but she can't stand aside and be used by them.” “And all Harry can think about is that if Hermione was there, she would know what to say to cheer him up.” Those two lines together leave the story with a sense of hope for Harry and Hermione’s friendship. Not that things will go back to the way they were before, but that Harry will, in time, come to join Hermione’s new group of friends. I don’t have that hope for Ron.

Happy Birthday, Seren!

I couldn't help myself, though of course I've already read the chapter and given you my opinion. Wonderful suspence!

Author's Response: I really wanted to say something inteligent here, but the only words that come into my head are these: Thank You

The personality you have presented in McKee is so utterly Slytherin that I had a grin on my face the whole time. There are few people who personify their house, and that’s what I like about McKee. She’s Slytherin, but she’s a human Slytherin rather than some false doll enchanted to move and given a tragic past or hugely rebellious ideas. Which brings me to my next point: her heritage. I liked the way you handled her connection to Malfoy. You focused on her feelings about the characters themselves, rather than her relation to them. I liked that. The slight disgust that came through when she spoke of them really was all that was necessary. And the cold way you introduced their connection was very well done. Her betrayal and the reasoning was refreshing. Not everything Slytherin is evil, and not every good Slytherin has defied their family and risked death in order to come to the DA meetings. The combination of gain and revenge as motives was quite believable. I think your large vocabulary was your downfall here. Since this is written in first person, I read as though this is McKee speaking, and most people don’t use varied and precise word choice to think about their daily lives, especially when they’re fifteen years old. I had a hard time reconciling that voice with the character. I’ll talk about that more in the SPEW discussion, since this review is dragging.

Author's Response: *lol* Well, thank you for being so thorough. I knew I was noosing myself with writing a young'n'. The thing is, she's an elitist young'n'. There are times when I think in such a manner, and I was certainly as dramatic and snooty at that age. You're right that she probably wouldn't use the vocabulary if she was real, but I'd like to make her slightly more intellectually advanced than some of her peers. I think my point in this response is "I know, but I like it the way it is ;)"