WOW. That was probably the best HP poem that I have ever had the pleasure of reading on MNFF. You had all of the rhyming and portrayal of the character perfectly.

I like this line:

Some trust too little, some love too late,
Some never even try,
He killed a man to save a life,
How could his eyes be dry?
Many kill the things they love,
Yet only one will die.

Wow, that's beautifully written, really.

I wish that I could write poetry like you could...WOW. I can't stop saying that! This was truly a wonderful poem. You have to win; it was great!

~Lindsey :)

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I really would reccomend reading Oscar Wilde\'s original if you liked mine. And thanks again for the kind wishes!

Yay! It was put up!

I was so happy that you asked me to beta this; this was a truly amazing story, and it was very unique!

I like how you used a relationship of Rowena and Salazar; I've never seen any relationship quite like that before, and the way that you wrote the romance was utterly brilliant.

Salazar might actually leave the school. More importantly, me.

I really like how you portray and have Rowena characterized. We don't know that much from the books, but I like how you've written her. She seems elegant, and she seems to know what she wants. As I've said before, I like how you've paired her up with Salazar. I kind of like the idea of Godric as well, but that wouldn't leave the story as good as you wrote it now, would it? *giggles*

To see Salazar actually love someone was nice; the only fics that I've read about him are how he "hates muggle-borns" and opened the Chamber of Secrets... etc. etc. I like how your fic focuses around his soft side, and not his dark. You actually don't even see that in this fic.

You use some great vocabulary and words in this story, and I am happy that I have read this. I seriously wouldn't be surprised if you won this contest!

How very wrong she was.

The cliffhanger at the ending was awesome! We know from the books and the lexicon that Salazar Slytherin DID leave the school, and I would like to see a fic from you on how Rowena deals with his departure.

A reluctant grin replaced her scowl at the thought of Salazar. That mischievous twinkle in his eyes… that seductive grin… that witty banter… any woman would fall for him. And fallen she had.

I really like this sentence. It describes just how you would think a romance between... basically anyone ...goes, and I like how you've explained with the "twinkle in his eyes" "seductive grin, and "witty banter". I think that, in his love life, Salazar would be like this. I think that you've got him characterised nicely as well. I also think that how you say "Any woman would fall for him." I wouldn't ever put that in a story, but that's a unique approach on this particular character. Great ideas there.

Oops, and I hate to say this... But I saw something that I missed.

He held up a hand to silence her. “Hogwarts is my dream, love. My life. I will not leave the school forever.” “And more importantly, you.”

There shouldn't be two four sets of quotation marks in that sentence. In between 'forever' and 'And', you might want to remove those quotation marks. But that's just a lovely suggestion. :)

You are a very talented writer, I'll give you that. I'll go and read some more of your stories! I'm adding you and this story to my favorites list. Wow, I hope that this review wasn't too long...

Thanks for the great read!

~Lindsey :)

Author's Response: *squees* Lindsey, no review is too long for me, or for that matter any author :D Thank you soooo much for the review, you\'re given me a wonderful start to the day :) And I\'ll change that quotation marks ASAP. Thanks again for beta-ing and reviewing!

Yay, Jessie! *huggles and waves*

I am so happy to see that this was put up! You did a wonderful job, and this is your best yet! You get better every time! *huggles again and refrains from speaking about four and its awesomeness*

~Lindsey :)

Author's Response: *huggles and waves back* Hi, Lindsey, the most awesome BETA there ever was! *Blushes* Thanks! About chapter four, thanks for not blabbing. I can\'t wait to see everyone\'s reaction on that one!! It\'s quite a doozy!

OOh, Stacey, this is quite a deep and intriguing entry. Apparently the Deathly Hallows are a dark and dangerous place . . . wow. You should have won in that prompt, if not the whole contest. Very good job.

~Lindsey :)

Author's Response: Thank you very much! I was really excited when I found out that I\'d won.

Wow! You never cease to amaze me, Suzie, with your wonderful poems.

I really liked your title- I see that Jenn helped you with it. It's a great one, definitely.

I also loved your rhyming scheme. It rhymes perfectly, and it goes along with the actual poem perfectly. You are very talented in the poetry category, my friend.

I also liked the actual plot of the poem. It's very serious- I don't really know what to say because it's SO good.

When life is forever,
The road is too long,
The journey’s bitter and hard
And will wear down the strong.
Will we ever return
To the first key of our song;
Will we ever come home
To the place we belong?

I particularly liked this line. Your poem just speaks to the readers. It's absolutely amazing. Easily the absolute BEST I've read on MNFF.

Great work, Suzie, and you are an amazing Poet.

~Lindsey :)

Author's Response: Aww thanks! *huggles* I wasn\'t really sure whether I liked this poem as I wrote it completely on a whim really late at night. It lurked in my folders for months before I thought of sending it to a beta... *hides*

Odd...you\'re the third person who\'s picked out that stanza so far! :p I suppose this can really relate to anyone whose had a hard life, been caught up in too many things and just needs a rest...

Anyway, thanks for reviewing! ~Suzie <3

Yay!

I'm so happy that this is up, because you know that I think that it's wonderful! Great poem and job on this!

*huggles*

~Lindsey :)

Author's Response: THANK YOU FOR BEING A WONDERFUL BETA & THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEW!

PHILY!!! *loves use of exclamation points does not describe how much I loved this* I absolutely adored and loved this story that you wrote for ME! *tackle huggles for the millionth time this week* It was absolutely amazing, really.

She had held high hopes for this romantic day from the moment Remus asked to spend it with her. She took one final look at her reflection before grabbing her wand and hastily Disapparating. Her reflection, too, disappeared in a whirl of pale green material.

I love this description of Tonks. I can see her feeling this way because of Remus, and wanting Remus to spend this special holiday with her. Not having him in her life already hurts her, but the way that you've put this entire paragraph is amazing. I'm glad that you've decided to incorporate this date together with them.

Its fur was blue, which soon faded to green, and then red. It was a colour changing bear!

Ha ha! That's great! I've never seen something like that incorporated into a story, and how that bear ties in with Tonks' hair is just perfect! Where in the world did you come up with an idea for that?

He moved closer towards her in order to see into her eye. Her warm breath tickled his cheek as she kept her head tilted back. There was a slight rush of air between them and Tonks held her breath. Remus, who was intent on seeing into her eye, tried to keep his mind focussed, but with difficulty.

This paragraph is SO sweet. Really. I ca see Remus helping Tonks, and even fi this wasn't a Remus/Tonks romance, i can see it happening. The description and adjectives and everything needed to amek a PERFECT paragraph are in here. great work, and I love this sentence.

Remus, however, was sure that the woman standing opposite him, the woman that he so adored, would not and could not possibly understand him.

And, as always, you have an absolutely amazing ending that makes the readers want more. You're an amazing writer, Phily! It's like you want the readers to want another chapter *raises hand quickly*, and you want them to know that it's the end; that this is really a one-shot, and perhaps that remus and Tonks will never get together . . . :(

But, I truly loved it. This is, like, the second Remus/Tonks story that I've read, and I must say, I will start reading them after yours. (Hopefully they're as good as yours!)

*finally releases huggle* *stands still* *one more quick huggle for amazing story*

Thanks so much for this story, Phily! *is goign to post in Secret Badger thread now* I truly loved it, and it is going on my favorites list!

~Lindsey :)


Author's Response: Lindsey! :D *Hugs* Wow! For a second I wondered why I had such a massive review and then I realised who it was! Hehe. I\'m so glad you liked it because, as you know, I had a slight struggle with it! In answer to your question, I have to credit many of the ideas for this fic to the wonderful people on the forums. The Skele-gro thread helped such a huge amount! I think it was Dill that came up with the teddy bear idea. Hehe I thought it was fab! And the snow dragon is down to Skipper. Abigail (Joybelle) and Morgan (MRHD) and argh I know that there was someone else! :s well yes, thank you to everyone who helped out! Thanks so much for organising the secret badger! I really did enjoy it and I am certainly looking forward to your story! Phily :)

Lexi, I was reading this poem again, and I must say that I adore it--- It's just so sad! *hugs* Great work--- again, dear. He. ~Lindsey :)

Author's Response: Thank you! I\'m glad this is good enough for people to want to reread! *hugs* I love hearing from you! ~Lexi~

Wow! I must say, after an entry like this, you've got the contest in the bag. You've got excellent portrayal of the characters, and amazing description.

But Voldemort’s face was different: it no longer held any trace of youth. Dumbledore was usually able to find the innocence hidden within the hatred of Voldemort’s face, the human side of the Dark Lord, but there was nothing there – nothing but inhuman malice filled the lines of Voldemort’s face and shined through his eyes.

This is very interesting. I've never actually thought of Voldemort being human; it's just the opposite the way he acts. *has just watched a movie on the Holocaust* You've got his face described very well. I absolutely love it the way you did. It's perfectly canon towards the books.

Dumbledore jerked slightly at the sudden movement, but he did not raise a finger to stop Voldemort, not wanting to make him angrier than he already was.

I can't see Dumbledore doing this. Dumbledore is the only wizard that Voldemort ever has feared; he would not be scared of someone who is scared of him. Not only that, but I know that Dumbledore wouldn't actually try to make him angry, but it still felt odd in that sentence. It just kind of stuck out to me.

It was Minerva McGonagall.

Whoa. You really know how to get someone's attention! That was such a great line and great person to use.

It struck him: he was powerless to Voldemort. He could do nothing to stop Voldemort from killing the people around him. It was all over.

This is some extremely amazing writing, dear. Dumbledore is not one of my favourite characters, but seeing him think like that just made my heart jump. I sympathise him greatly, in your story, now, and think that you have a great plot going on here. Very interesting concept to tie in.

Dumbledore felt his chest tighten, constricting his breathing. He could not imagine having to point his wand at anyone and utter those dreaded words, let alone at Minerva McGonagall.

“I don’t want…don’t make me…” he whispered in horror.

Oh, wow! You have a VERY interesting plot here. It ties in with just what Dumbledore says in the book, and you've portrayed his emotions on killing his fellow colleague (and perhaps more than a colleague) perfectly. I also think that you meant to have this last sentence italicised, but no biggie.

Why don’t you betray him once more; don’t you want to hear him scream in pain?

This is such a tiny nitpick, but is just trying to help . . . You might want to change the semi-colon after "more" to a question mark.

He aimed the wand at two of the three and, in a flash of green light, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley fell to the ground dead.

Oh no! I How dare you kill Hermione and Ron? *blushes and straightens shirt* It's horrid how Dumbledore has to keep on being forced to kill all of those he loved and watch them die around him. Your portrayal of Voldemort is amazing (but horrible!).

I feel that this story actually could use a higher rating. It's just for 3rd/5th years, right? This fiction has quite a lot of death and mature themes in it . . . you might want to consider it. As they talked about on the forums, you have to be very careful, but it's just a suggestion, my friend!

The victims touched Dumbledore all at once and Dumbledore found himself overcome with sadness, grief, and despair. He felt the last of his life leave him as he gave a great, rattling gasp, and fell to the ground, lifeless.

What an amazing ending. And here, I am being most definite and truthful when I say this. This story was very deep; you did a great job in the work and portrayal of all the characters, and watching Dumbledore be put through that is just awful. But you have a writing style that is very powerful. I admire that very much. I'm sure that you put a TON of hard work and perseverance into this story. Fantastic work and I wish you luck in the challenge!

~Lindsey :)

*calls out* I told you I'd be back! *huggles lovely Fresca*

I thought this was a very interesting chapter, and I really, really adored your description, again.

Marie Antoinette’s face had aged many years in the period of only a few, but her body still looked as young as ever. She was dressed in a simple raggedy dress. This was clearly much more depressing for the queen than anything else. Not a trace of royal heritage remained in Marie Antoinette’s grim presence. Her hair was dead and wispy, and reminded Hermione horribly of Alice Longbottom. The French queen looked just like the ill-fated Auror.

Whoa. I am amazed at your description, Fresca, and I find it a strong point for an author to have such a skill as that, and you do have it, dear. I can actually see Marie Antoinette walking up to the guillotine, her hair in wisps around her aged face . . . you've got the presence of death mentioned here before it's ever happened, even though we know it will happen. I like your sense of foreshadowing here. I also really, really like how she is compared to Alice Longbottom, because that gives us the sense that Hermione still remembers her home life, and she knows that she's only supposed to be here for a little while, and she hasn't forgotten herself while here. I know that she's only seen Alice once or twice and she's only been in this time period for a few moments, but it's good to see that she still has time to think of the Auror and compare her to Marie.

From just a reader's point of view, and me knowing hardly anything about Marie Antoinette except for her "Let them eat cake," piece she shouted out into the streets for the rotten food that was being thrust upon her people, I think you've done an amazing job, again, in informing your readers of the history behind this event. I also adore your use of original characters. They're just as descriptive as the Harry Potter characters and you've just spoken of them in this chapter. They're all very well developed, especially Giselle.

So that her hair doesn’t get caught in the guillotine.

Ooh, that gave me chills, it did. *shudders* Nice use of words there, and I like your creativity (or did they really do that to women who were to be murdered by the guillotine?). It's very sad to actually have to write the Queen's death, but the way it actually happened and you've played it out is very sad. I can't see myself willingly laying my head on that block, and to have, mostly likely her pride and joy back then, her hair cut off just mere minutes before she died is actually heartbreaking. I know I'd kill someone if they did that to me, but hopefully I wouldn't be in her place.

Tears began to stream down Marie Antoinette’s pale face.

My only issue is usage of the word 'Marie Antoinette'. I know that that's her name and all, but couldn't you use pronouns like 'she' and 'her' and perhaps even just her first name, 'Marie'? I found that you had used her full name twice in two sentences in one paragraph, and since that word is hard to say, it's hard to read as fast and the flow is kind of disrupted. But perhaps it's just me. I can faintly understand why you chose to do it this way because she was a queen, and we don't know her like we do the other characters in the HP fandom, so calling her by her full, real name is supposed to be apparent.

Hermione couldn’t bring herself to watch anymore of the executions.

I think that in this sentence, 'anymore' should be two words.

Hermione had a sinking feeling that her horizon would only get darker in the days to come.

Ooh, nice ending, Fresca. I admire your foreshadowing and description in the last paragraph as well, and even this was a rather short chapter, it was a phenomenal one, of course, by you, and I enjoyed it. I shall be back. Nice work.

~Lindsey :)