I love a well written, angst filled loved story. Love it! I'm not into all that fluffy, tooth ache sugary, cliché type romances cause that's not real to me. Love is hard and leaving the one you love (still love) is painful. So this is really good to me.


Blaise fits perfectly in your story as this strong (but silent) loved torn soul who shared a relationship with Astoria. Not very much is known of Zabani, but the way you had him react in your work seems very in character too me and how I would picture him to be.


I love the imagery you've set in the fic. From the stickiness of the bar (which I can relate to) down to the crowdedness in the streets of London and Diagone alley.... you really get the sense that Blaise feels oppressed by his surroundings. It was almost like some kind of metaphor for how his emotions were so bottled up that it somehow manifests itself into his surroundings.


How you've portrayed Astoria was very intriguing to me too. She comes across a bit as a little vixen manipulator who is still stringing Blaise along despite her leaving him Draco. For a moment there, I thought she was using their meet up to make Draco jealous. Possibly jealous enough to make him propose? Since their engagement and romance is a bit of mystery to us, the idea of Astoria using Bliase in that fashion could be plausible and interesting to see if it were played out a bit more.


If there were a nitpick to be had in this, is that I would have liked to have heard more about the relationship between Astoria and Blaise. I would liked to have seen a moment between them where she tries to get him to revel in their past exploits ; the things that they did together, things that were said, etc. That way we can get a sense of how real their relationship was. But then he, in his cold stoic way, brushes her off while reminding her of the decision she made to be with Draco. In this way, we can see how deep his feelings were for her and how hard it was to truly say good bye in the end.


Great, great, great, story - I cannot say that enough! And I'm glad I got to the chance to review this. I hope you'll revisit this and possibly expand on the idea more to make his more than just a one shot.. it doesn't feel over even though it is. More needs to be said and done before the final goo bye.


This has inspired me to take up one of my angst ridden love story and give it another look.

I liked this. It's a bit of a different take on the lothario styled version of Sirius that's been stuck in my head. I like the bit of awkwardness between them. Despite them knowing each other on a casual let, it's refreshing to see them kind of stumble about as they tread new territory in their friendship.


I wish you would have elaborated more on what made Rosemerta so special to Sirius form Sirius' POV. Why did he make that extra effort for and take her to a place so sacred to him like the Shrieking Shack? That bit of insight into that man's mind would have made the moments in the story extra special.

First off let me say “congratulations” on making September’s Slytherin of the Month. It’s a very high honor amongst our group, so bask in the glory while you can. It is well deserved.



I’m glad they did this reviewing thing for the SOTM now along with the questions. As much as the questions are fun, getting a review for your work is always flattering for an author to receive.



I picked this one because the summary stood out for me. I was always an awkward child and felt like a bit of a social outcast growing up. So to read a Hogwarts version of a coming of age story is intriguing.



I see that you captured it all very well. I can see the girl trying her best to fit in, doing everything as normal but still having this strange foreboding sense that she was going through some kind of change. And the kicker part about this plot was that the only person she could turn to be Hermione, who had went through the same thing herself.



I like that, cause it sends out a strong message that no one is ever alone in these things. Some stories can get somewhat Emo when they tread along this path, keeping the character content in being a social outcast. But you had her seek help from the one person who could relate to her. Young people need to realize that when feel that down then they need to reach out to get out of their dark feelings. So I’m glad to see that here.



My only nitpick I could say about this, is that it was very narrative and to the point. I didn’t see a whole lot of imagery or dialogue between her, the bullies, and per parents that could have given this story an added layer of drama to make this a really stand out piece in your arsenal of work.



I know in your previous review, you stated that this was your first story and you didn’t quite know where your direction was going with this. Yet I think you had a bit of writer’s tunnel vision in making this story - you didn’t veer off course to take the scenic route.



For example: As much as her parents thought she was weird, I would have loved to have seen that conversation between her and her parents were they’re trying to brush off her magic as some kind of medical condition. Like they were avoiding the topic of her “change.”



Or maybe a more heated confrontation between her and the bullies where she comes so close to exploding that they ran off before she could cause any perminant harm.



That’s the type of dynamic that I would have liked to have seen that would have leave me worried for her. That this girl is getting so out of control with her abilities that it would leave you wondering, “Well who could she turn to now?” And the answer, of course, would come in the form of Hermione.



Overall, I love the story. I love the hope in the message that it brings. And I love how it ended with her being an older witch, watching her children and live out the adventures that she was blessed to live when she found out her change was perfectly normal.



Great job. And congratulations again.