01/26/05
Hola! Thanx for checking out my new bio....I'm assuming you meant to, seeing as you're reading this, wherever you are, whoever you are, but I ramble.
I've decided that when I'm older I'm definitely either am going to become the next Garfield, although I'm not sure someone would want to obey my every word and pay for my upkeep just on the grounds that I'm evil, or I'm going to be god. No, seriously, a god. All you have to do is get a massive space ship and fly to Atiyuoj...where they think all humans are gods. Yeah, I know, I know...what idiots they are on Atiyuoj, but hey, where there's an opportunity - why not take it? Some people just deserved to be exploited...
Always remember: life is the unexpected. So, if you don't expect it, it is bound to happen. I have drawn the conclusion that as I do not expect Magorian to exist outside the Harry Potter fan fic, he does. Just in a different unvierse....
I was born into a snobbish family in Britain...but when we moved to Detroit when I was threeish those damned Americans completely corrupted me, and voila, you have the random yet evil yet godly person that is MOI as opposed to a snobbish private school twat who I would have invariably turned out to be....
Check out my story Harry Potter, Lord Voldemort and the Writer's block! R and R, I personally think it needs some work and I'd like some feedback!
Annie likes: ScabbersSaysSqueak05, slytheringal, imo, The Savant, Hermione's_Revenge, SecretLily...
Annie hates....People who bitch about things they don't understand. Yall know who I'm talking about, and if you don't, I'm sure you know somebody like this...
PS: And if you die of a heart attack while reading it? Wasn' me, buddy, wasn' me.
The HP Male Marriage Quiz made by Sapphire.
Anyhoo...Mrs. Sirius Black. I like the sound of it. Unfortunately, I have grasped (somehow, someway) that HP is not in actual fact real, so I cannot logically be Mrs. Sirius Black. Unless, of course, Sirius did not die when he went behind the veil...he was simply stuck in cyber space! MY KINGDOM FOR A NEW SIRIUS THEORY!
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Magorian by The Savant
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Lowbrow. High-concept. Medium rare. Magorian's back, and he's here to stay! A/N: All right, who stole all my exclamation points!?
Date: 03/18/05 Title: Chapter 10: O She of Shadows
But I like cobwebs....
Author's Response: Anything Trogdor burninates deserves to be burninated. That includes the countryside, peasants and all the thatched-roof cottages.
Date: 03/29/05 Title: Chapter 11: Of Lice and Fen
Well, you sure as hell don't get your randomness from me, that's for sure. Now, where did I put that pink oatmeal that I was going to add stereoids to and make chicken feed with? HEY! Buddy! What are you doing with my chicken feed? Give it back! WHAT DO YOU MEAN "it's mine"??? I need it for my chickens. I don't have any chickens, you say? And you do? And the chicken feed bag has your name stamped on it on huge letters? Buddy, did I mention I was blind with a lot of imaginary chickens to dope up? I didn't? Huh. Maybe I should have....
Author's Response: You feed your chickens steroids? Awesome! Magorian uses a mixture of standard birdfeed and-- [Sponsors intervene] Er, I mean, BAD LIL MISSBRIT! I DO NOT condone the use of steroids and its like! The only reason I'm not reporting you to the authorties despite ypur theft and intended use, is that you don't actually have any chickens to abuse like that and besides, the judges have a soft spot for blind girls. Never EVER stray towards that path again, friend! EVER. (Psst. What kind of steroid do you use? Do you find that creatine works slightly better than barbituates? I--) Crap, my sponsors heard me and have abandoned me. Now I'm stranded without a budget to make more chapters. What am I going to do? Help me!
Date: 03/13/05 Title: Chapter 1: Chicken Feast
BTW: I got so philosophical with you about toher world and existence....that Magorian existing in another world is now on my bio. I thought it was important that everyone know that somewhere, out there, somewhere near you (or about a million light years, give or take) MAGORIAN IS THERE. He is waiting....he is unexpected.....he is there....dunh Dunh DUNH! MWAHAHA! Did I say that out loud? Oops. Best not to do evil laugh in internet cafes....
Author's Response: Magorian will forever be in my soul, and the souls of all readers, forever reminding us to cast aside decency and indulge in the chaos of emotion and impulse. Then he'll find away to break out of his astral prison and we'll all be like, "Hey! I'm an empty shell now! Give me back my soul!" and then Magorian will be like, "No! Cock it!" and then we'll be like, "Please?" and then he'll be like "Okay." and re-enter you.
I knew I shouldn't've just written down what the voices were saying.
Date: 03/04/05 Title: Chapter 10: O She of Shadows
Great chappie! Love and violence = good. Put violence = lovely? No, honey, not really. UNLESS you are gunning down a dughoj. Now, the dughoj is a reculsive creature that lives in the highlands of Scotland. When gunned down by a semiautomatic handgun or other firearm purchase, instead of blood, cute little pink hearts will come streaming out of its gaping wounds. The reason for this strange anatomy goes back to the late 1300s, when it's main predator was the wkyofyt which died upon seeing something pink and cuddly. The wkyofyt was sadly driven to extinction in 1789, so now the dughoj has no purpose in its strange anatomy, other than being the only animal on the planet that does not offend anybody when killed. Apart from the gutyi, of course, but that's another story.
Author's Response: Good research, apart from one gaping hole. The wkyofyt is NOT extinct. I have the discovered that if one were to graft the DNA of the wkyofyt into other animals, strange things happen. So I tested it on myself. You wouldn't believe how hard it is to type when you have seventy-eight fingers on each hand and have an eye on each one.
Date: 03/15/05 Title: Chapter 10: O She of Shadows
There are too....ever wonder how 96% of this universe can be accounted for, but a whole 4% of dark matter can't be (I'm being serious, here). Well, it must go into black holes, but that doesn't explain where it goes from there....so there must be another universe on the other side where the 4% of dark matter gets blasted into. But, if life is the unexpected (which it is - does anything follow plan exactly) somewhere squirrels are in Moulin Rouge costumes. Either that, or they're trapped in cyberspace.
Author's Response: Ah, but no one knows whether black holes actually exist, do they? And 4% of a universe does not make an entirely new universe, especially not one with Moulin Rouge squirrels.
Date: 03/17/05 Title: Chapter 10: O She of Shadows
News just in: TROGDOR! Now, draw a dragon And add a lot of Vs. NOT THAT TYPE OF V! Burnin burnin...oh shit. I was afraid this would happen....it's in my head....TROGDOR!
Author's Response: He burninated the cobwebs right out of my head.
Date: 03/09/05 Title: Chapter 10: O She of Shadows
Coincidence is something that occurs that was first deemed unimpossible - and is only coincidence when somewhere declares, "But it can't be so!" The inevitable is something that occurs when we have no choice in the matter, and we have been trying to pretend that it will not occur. The truth is something you have dreamt - and you only know it is the truth when others are dreaming the same dream........
In other words: The world is full of strange things, and different realities. Perhaps in a different universe Magorian really does exist...
Author's Response: [examines drawings of various squirrels in different poses] Er, I'm sorry, what were you were saying? I'm afraid I quite lost you at "unimpossible". Well, whatever it was, I've taken it to heart.
Literally. Your review is now in my blood stream.
Date: 03/10/05 Title: Chapter 10: O She of Shadows
Life is not what you expect. I did not expect Magorian, so with that logic, he exists. BEYOND THE BOOK!
Author's Response: Hehe. Squirrels.
Date: 02/27/05 Title: Chapter 9: Game, Set and Match
No, honey, £100. That's about $180. But that included shipping from Mars. You probably had a local dude, but I find that the martians sub-contract rather well. Now just get on with writing. You try my patients. They are all like: Goddamn it!! Oh yeah, and my patience. I do hate it when my spelling errors come back and hit me in the butt.
Author's Response: You'll be glad to know that I may have uncovered a lucrative business deal near the third arm of the Milky Way that may get us even better evil ragnarok cannons for only a strand of hair and a lollipop! Only one problem though: the cannon is so big that the Earth is too miniscule for its crosshairs to spot, even if the planet is an eyelash away from the lens. Oh well.
Date: 03/28/05 Title: Chapter 11: Of Lice and Fen
The Savant: The Savant.
Racecar: [sigh] That’s your name, sire.
The Savant: Really? I thought it was Ondorbgo. I always thought Ondorbgo didn’t roll off the tongue well…
Racecar: Don’t worry sire. For the longest time I thought my name was Pole Position!
The Savant: Dodaru.
Racecar: Amazing! One that isn’t taken! How did you do it sire?
The Savant: Simple. I combined a Dod- with an –aru.
Racecar: You are a mastermind, sire.
The Savant: Don’t you forget it. In fact, from now on, you will address me as “mastersire.” Well, looks like we’ve gotten that problem out of the way!
Racecar: Not quite, sire. There are at least ten minor OCs in this chapter as well.
YAAAAAAY! You updated *on-the-spot jig* God, 6000 words? Conversations with yourself? Strange songs? I'm not going to lie to you, I think you've got some Jepufvktrhwgyxc blood in you, but that's from your father's side of the family, I have nothing to do with it. Wait a second, am I related to you? Erm, no. However, if you've got that mid-reading machine that ISN'T a barbie in disguise I would be grateful....*10* My random friend, it was sooo good!
Author's Response: No, no, no, I'm afraid you're mistaken. My blood is 50 percent Derxuisampghangalonfok and 50 percent Matekiteornovoragenagakameninukre. By the way, I just wanted to say that I was unable to contact emaleth for the chapter. So it's all me.
Date: 03/06/05 Title: Chapter 10: O She of Shadows
It's not extinct? Huh. I have to go inform the professors at Huyohkt University...I swore to them it was extinct. (PS: I know the feeling. It's a lot harder to type with fins in an enclosed lake under Mount Etna.)
Author's Response: Apparently, you have to inform them three times.
Date: 03/06/05 Title: Chapter 10: O She of Shadows
It's not extinct? Huh. I have to go inform the professors at Huyohkt University...I swore to them it was extinct. (PS: I know the feeling. It's a lot harder to type with fins in an enclosed lake under Mount Etna.)
Author's Response: Have you ever been to Huyohkt? Yes? What a coincidence! I haven't.
Date: 03/06/05 Title: Chapter 10: O She of Shadows
It's not extinct? Huh. I have to go inform the professors at Huyohkt University...I swore to them it was extinct. (PS: I know the feeling. It's a lot harder to type with fins in an enclosed lake under Mount Etna.)
Author's Response: That's nothing. Try typing whil you're running away from winged pink velociraptors that want to rip into you like a ripping machine would a particularly rippable object. It's no picnic. Well, maybe for them it is...
Date: 03/01/05 Title: Chapter 10: O She of Shadows
"(You can only be a fortuneteller, Elvis impersonator and Kool-Aid mascot for so long before your jobs started eating away at your personal life, after all, and there was that nasty stint in prison after that “defacing the major monuments of the world” phase he’d gone through."
Priceless...long paragraphs, but well worth the trawl. Despite having a better canon than me I love it! I think you are very lovely for writing this in such a funny and sometimes violent manner. Which somehow almost defaces the meaning of lovely but anyhoo...great! LOL! BTW - chappie three is up of HP, Lord Voldy and the writer's block...sorry I'm just annoyed because NOBODY IS REVIEWING!
Author's Response: Violence and love can go hand in hand. You just have to come up with a compelling case to fire some rounds of artillery shells while professing your affection for your significant other. Like killing the imaginary genetically- enhanced robo-vulture that was about to rip off his/her dainty head.
Date: 04/02/05 Title: Chapter 11: Of Lice and Fen
Your sponsors have gone? Tell them if you come back, you'll give them some creatine with cut-in cannabis. Works every t-(LilmissBrit's sponsors would like to point out that after a meeting with the sponsors of The Savants, the clients are a danger to all humanity. But they would also like to add that they would give them a few good reviews if they could just have that creatine with the cannabis. Please.) Crap, I'm not hanging around with you no more! First my sponsors dump me and THEN they steal my cannabis and steroids! MY CHICKENS NEED THOSE! (Or was it cows...? Do I even have a farm? Hmmm...could this sudden memory loss be due to cannabis and steroids? What was I just talking about? Hmm...)
Author's Response: Screw humanity. What have they ever done for this? We don't need to supply them anything, let alone recreational stimulants. We don't need to take any crap from any sponsors. We can help each other. That's right- I'm extending a formal invititation for you to be my official evil genius accomplice! You get the northwestern hemisphere and I take everythin else, so it's an even 50-50 split. Deal?
Date: 03/19/05 Title: Chapter 10: O She of Shadows
But...but....but....I live in the countryside...what SHOULD be burnt is the cows. Why do cows give birth at annoying times? Like two in the morning? I swear, there's this one cow who has it in for me. At about 5 in the morning she'll moo really loudly and then sit back down again. I know it's her. I know it...Pepsi Max does not claim any responsibility for consumers experiencing mild forms of schizophrenia and paranoia. Drink Pepsi Max in moderation with a healthy diet. Do not drink in view of farm animals.
Author's Response: Thank God Pespsi Max isn't my sponsor. The views of our affiliates do not reflect our own. Toyota has nothing against Pepsi Max. We would sever ties with The Savant without reservation if it meant that keeping him as a vender would alienate the fine folk at PepsiCorp. Disregard anything The Savant says about PepsiCorp. And don't stop reading his fic. Those subliminal messgaes have to kick in sometime...
Date: 02/26/05 Title: Chapter 9: Game, Set and Match
Yeah, YAAAAY! As well, but Snape? Sexy? I gotta tell you, I did not see that one coming...lol! Dumbledore also amusing...yaay. I know what you mean about people not reveiwing! How annoying IS that?
Author's Response: Yeah, I hate it when people don't review. I mean, I should've gotten, like, 400 reviews by now. And then I could finally power up my review-fueled doomsday cannon and conquer the world. Just keep them coming people. Keep them coming.
Never Been Kissed by emaleth
Rated: •Summary: Hermione decides to stop being such an old fuddy-duddy! Love ensues!
a/n: a little OOC hermione, but nothing that she won't soon grow into... >:) also, described as "almighty fluffiness" by the kind-enough-to-review Ella Norman!
a/n2: this story has had over a thousand reads, and only 13 reviews! c'mon people! do you love it? do you hate it? please please gimme some feedback! just let me know!
Date: 03/04/05 Title: Chapter 1: one-shot
It's very good! It's fluffier than my usual, but it's funny enough to get away with it and pull it off. A really fantastic first story! Keep it up (PS: The Savant lives in by a quite lake in the fen of a far off planet called Hjdeug. Sssh!)
Soaked in the Sea of Envy by Ron Weasley
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Last chapter is submitted! Hermione kept a secret about someone special for 5 years and this year at school she decided to tell this person her feelings. Plans change when she meets someone at Ron's house. Hermione keeps an eye on this person because of her mysterious ways. 2000+ reads!
Date: 02/24/05 Title: Chapter 14: A New Beginning
I just want to say: awwwwwwwwww how cute! Now sequel.
Date: 02/16/05 Title: None
He loves her...but then there's Ron...it's completely screwed up (Hermione's betrayal, not the story)! A very good start. Two weeks! What, are you kidding?