I really love the idea of Ron and Luna together, so it was nice to find this little gem of a story! I hope you continue this one soon, looking forward to reading the rest of your stories :-}
Firstly, your attention to detail is outstanding. If I'm not mistaken, you'd give Snape a run for his money ;-} I like how you've portrayed Hermione and Harry's apparent concern for her, however - why would Hermione have to take a paternity test? It implies that she not only has had “relations” with someone other than Harry, but also at around the same time. I’m a bit confused… Perhaps the later chapters will explain this? Other than that, your writing skill is excellent and I look forward to reading the next!
Author's Response: the evil imfamous paternity test question....*shudders* thanks for the compliments tho.
I've been meaning to review this for a while now... It's about time I was finally able to log in! Well, this story has tremendous potential! I really like how you set the foundation for a thrilling tale! I especially liked this introduction to Dumbledore: “An aged face from the shadows…” – Wonderfully done! I also enjoyed Ron’s little quip of: “If v…vol….Voldemort hurts you mate, I will kill him.” Very cute, it shows both their bond of friendship and provides for comic relief. Well done!! Hurry and write more!!
Author's Response: Thank you! I love hearing from you all.Well, Ive submitted the second chapter 2 days ago and Im awaiting to see If they accept it or not. Im excited. Thanx again for helping me with it!
Hello, I see this your first fic here. Well, welcome aboard!! :-) This is a very nice start! I can't wait to read what happens next. It's quite refreshing to see the interaction between Hermione and her parents, normally they're kept in the background. Looking forward to the next chapter!
Very well written and told. The pace is quite smooth and flows exceptionaly well. Your use of humor and descriptions of the Dusleys' are spot on. I thought that the use of drills was a brilliant catalyst, and made perfect sense for the plots set-up. Your first chapter was an immensely enjoyable read. Job well done!! You definitley have a strong natural talent for story telling. I look forward to reading more!!
What a brilliant ending!!! Can't wait to see Harry's reaction to that statement!! Again, I find both your use of humor and mastery of the interchangability of words to be highly enjoyable. You definitley have a knack for story telling... Let's see what's next shall we?
Another great chapter. So much like Hermione to make a list eh? You've captured her spirit quite well, it shows your deeper understanding of her character... I especialy liked your acronym of "S.P.O.O.N.". It was very original and brought a good dose of humor to the scene. The only criticism I have (and it is only a personal one and definitely not of your authorship or skill), was of Harry's reaction to it. It seemed that he reacted just as Ron would have. Harry has never said anything mockingly or otherwise in regards to S.P.E.W., he has always been too mindful of Hermione's feelings to do such a thing (okay, I'll just hop off my soap box now...). Brilliant chapter! More kisses please! 10/10!!
Great touch!! Wickedly funny!! To put Harry in Dudley's rediculously large suit for the date was incredibly funny! I laughed out loud on that one! Another brilliant idea from you! I now know I should expect no less! I also love the idea of Hermione on her moped, a great catalyst for them to be alone with their own mode of muggle transportation and forced physical contact! Oh I wish I had thought of that myself!! Let's see what's next!!
I forgot to mention Hermione's "knicker" comment in the last chapter... Brilliant! Great! Wicked! I loved it!! Now on to this chapter... I would have loved to have seen some hint as to Hermione's feelings about Harry holding her so closely on the bike, and a more intimate scene surrounding his early birthday gift... But I guess I can't have it all now can I? Harry's reaction to Dumbledore was spot on, and great that the snitch was enchanted so that it would not only be harder to catch, but that it would seem to have instictively flown back to Hermione before Harry was able to finaly catch it... very symbolic IMHO. I would have also really liked to have seen Hermione's reaction to the hug Harry gave her at the end... after all Harry had NEVER proactively hugged anyone as long as he can remember... Another 10/10!!
Whoa!! looks like I got a bit confused in the chapters!! He didn't get the snitch until this one!! Well, i suppose that's why I wasn't sorted into Ravenclaw... I love the little plug of yourself as the author of the books Hermione was reading!! Very nice touch!! I enjoyed the thought process of Harry spending alone time with Hermione, and her alwys being his "partner". The last three paragraphs were wickedly funny! Another instance where I laughed out loud! And then "she grabbed his hand..." Can't wait for more!!
The Tempest was also one of my favorites... Again, your characterizations of Hermione are spot on! We know Harry nevr got out much, so it was really nice to see Hermione as his "guide" in the muggle world. I absolutely adore all your little riddles by the way... Very clever you are!! And just who is this Mr. Moseby I wonder?
NOOOOOO! They were so close to kissing!! And WHAT!!!??? Hermione wants to ask Ron out!!!??? She MUST be trying to gauge Harry's reaction, there is simply NO WAY she fancies Ron (or Don, as Harry so elequently put it - that was so funny!!) Harry's thoughts were brilliantly written. Another 10/10!!
“Hermione Granger,” Hermione answered with a smile. “I’m Harry’s girlfriend.” - Best line of the chapter!! She says it so automaticaly... makes one wonder... ;-} Lot's of new charaters here... can't wait to see who they all really are!! Another well written chapter by a wonderfully talented author! I am so happy I read your story today. It's truly a real gem! I am definitely adding it to my favorites list and look forward to your updates!!!! Please hurry!!