01/31/05
Hello, you've reached a very long ago abandoned username. I still don't know why I haven't deleted this. Maybe I'm just lazy?
Anyway, I post under the name Aequitas. That's it, really.
If you visited here because you wanted to see A Secret Needed to be Shared or Ad Astra Per Aspera, you're about 3.097 billion years in the past - I deleted them a long time ago. I haven't rewritten them or anything. They died. Haha.
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Fate by Liisa
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: Sirius returns miraculously from behind the veil, uncovering a secret that's remainded hidden for too long and was obviously not supposed to be found...He undertakes the task of trying to fix the mistake he made all those years ago on Halloween night
Date: 04/19/05 Title: Chapter 35: No One Can
Oh...my...goodness. That was beautiful. I'm still amazed at your ability to handle emotions so well. And there are about ten plot lines going on, and you don't forget about any of them! Sometimes I just sit there and blink at how many different characters you have to keep from descending into OOC-ness. (Psst... I realize there's another chapter, but it's an Interlude about Ginny, Hermione and such, so I'm reviewing the "past" part of your story.)
So, critique! *rubs hands together* “The patronus…” You capitalize "Patronus" a couple of sentences later, so I know it's just a typo. “You conjured the Patronus to save yourself, cause you remembered it happening before.” Sorry, but this irritates me. "Cause" should look like -->'cause. It's slang for "because." The paragraph that starts with Harry nodded. is a very long run-on. It sounds like Harry when he talks, but for donuts' sakes, put some ellipsis (...), periods, anything to break it up. The paragraph starting with He was standing again in the Death Chamber... could use a break after the first two sentences. You could even combine them. "I'm sick of you bloody Death Eaters! You can tell your master that my answer is still no!" Good Lord, I've forgotten about that. I remembering wondering why (perhaps I put it into a review?) but now have it answered. Thank you. Harry reached out a hand, laying it on James’ shaking shoulder causing James to look up at him quickly. Insert a comma after "shoulder." It defines the action more. I have a feeling you're simply typing too fast and making very minute typos. A simple reread would suffice. :) I admire the way you explain Fate to us the readers. I totally understood your approach to how Fate works and how each character understood it. This is a bit long (it's called the SPEW syndrome), but I hoped it was better than "wow!!! upd8 soon!!!" For the millionth time, I love how fast you update. When I finally get time to R&R your story, there's always a chapter waiting. Don't stop and keep writing! I look forward to new additions.
Author's Response: Oh yes, much better than the three word reviews :) I thank you a million times over! Yeah, as I said before, I'll go back someday and edit all the grammer mistakes that I've made, but for the moment I'm just trying to get the story done before I get too bogged down this summer. I hope they don't bug you too much :D And thank you for not saying "update faster" and for realizing that I am actually updating VERY FAST compared to everyone else on this site :p Kudos to you for that as well :D Thanks for reading and reviewing!
Date: 03/14/05 Title: Chapter 25: Nothing Like This Ever Happened
You handled the time-paradox very very well! I've always wondered what would happen should I change something in the past, and I like the way you wrote this chapter. The James/Harry incident at the end was really well-written. Also... I knew it worked! Snape gets to meet his younger self in the next chapter (I'm assuming) - that'll be interesting. The part about the two magics combining and changing the effects made sense. I really like the way your story is paced! Not too fast or slow, and lots of good parts in between. Sorry this review is so long, but I had a lot to say!
Author's Response: actually, Snape will really be interacting with his younger self in the chapter after next, but it's worth the wait, I promise ;) I worry sometimes that this story is too slow, but I always got frustrated with the stories that were all instantanious with no real problems or reality situations, so I tried not to do that here and write it at a believable pace. I hope you stay with me through all of it! thanks for reading and reviewing!
Date: 05/29/05 Title: Chapter 38: Only Four
Whee... another long review. Sorry, it's a tendency of mine... and I have a lot of things to say! (Not all bad, I promise.) LOL... Yeah, anyway, on to actually reviewing. Well... *deep breath* I liked this chapter particularly because you included everyone's POV and that's really nice. You pulled off keeping everyone in character (again!).
Right, James Potter. James, one of his best friends. James, the first Marauder to die. Wow, no wonder thinking of James is depressing for Remus. I liked the way you formatted it too. Sometimes you'll see everything run together, but spacing that out generated a feeling of detachment. Nice! And thanks for having the "Remus as a traitor" in there... I really do believe that that happened - that Lily and James thought he was the traitor.The next section... congratulations with keeping Sirius and 'Sirius' apart. That can get really hard, seeing as it's only the two of them in that scene. Bravo! And oh goodness, the scene nearly made me cry... thinking of Arianna as cold and lifeless and only poor Sirius left behind. The rings, though... nice symbolism. Especially... ‘Sirius’ fuming gaze followed his and he stared at his closed hand for a few moments before opening it again. He saw that the rings had left faint white imprints on his hands because he had been clenching them so hard. But right before his eyes, they slowly disappeared and were gone. I liked that, and also Sirius telling him to move on. It wasn't too harsh, but just enough to get him to leave the rings alone.
Lily's occupation is very interesting. Unspeakable? But the Charms part fit her well, as we all know. And I applaud having a confidant to... well... confide in. The Ministry isn't my cup of tea, and I'm surprised to see the example of thinking ahead. Did something happen? Did someone leak because they couldn't tell anyone? Did someone actually get emotionally or physically sick from their secrets? These were the questions running through my mind as I read.The summary at the end was really nice, but I sense that the story is ENDING. Is it? No! Well, if it is, I'm sorry to see it end, but hopefully you'll keep on writing! But I think you should have switched Snape and Sirius around, according to the order that you told of their parts in this fic. Nonetheless, another good chapter in Fate! I do realize you have another chapter, and perhaps I should go read it, LOL. But for now... Good job! If this is the end, do NOT stop writing. I command you to.
Author's Response: Wow...this one was long, but such a joy for me to read. I love reading reviews as much as you guys (apparently) love my story :P I'm so glad you liked this chapter, it's one of my favorites cause I really get to touch everyone's different personalities. It was hard to keep them all separate so I'm glad it ended up coming out alright :D And don't worry, about 5 or 6 more chapters till the end I should think ;) thanks for reading and reviewing!
Date: 02/10/05 Title: Chapter 14: What Did You Just Say?
Great chapter! I love this story. The reactions of the OC's are near perfect, and the storyline only gets more and more interesting. Dialogue is awesome, and I can't wait to see how this story turns out!
Author's Response: new reader! thanks so much for reading and reviewing!
Date: 02/26/05 Title: Chapter 20: Nothing to Lose
Yet another amazing chapter. The plot wasn't moving along so much as other chapters, though. Still, it was amazing.
Author's Response: yeah, there are those types of chapters, but I think they are nessicary. glad you still enjoyed it!
Date: 03/16/05 Title: Chapter 26: For Once
I don't know if I can tell you how awesome your story is - I've told you enough times! This one was definitely up to par! Everything makes sense. I can't see any glitches in the time-travel/suddenmemories idea. "...Voldemort..." I doubt there's anyone out there who could have put it better.
Author's Response: I'm very glad you think so. This plot is sofreakin' complicated, even to me and it's always hard to get all the facts down into the chapters, so you said the right thing! Thank you!
Journey to Perfection by Lycanthropist
Rated: 6th-7th Years •Summary: Remus Lupin has not always had an easy or a happy life, but now after resigning from a job he loved and enjoyed, he's forced to once again sulk on his lonely and bitter existence. Wallowing in his self-pity, Remus ventures into the Hog's Head, only to meet a erudite woman that may just help to disrupt the monotony his life has become. Remus/OC, Post-POA.
Date: 05/12/05 Title: Chapter 8: Burning
Wow, Kay. I'm an impatient person, as you well know, but I'm always satisfied once you post your chapters. The "R" rating freaked me out for a moment, but I'm actually glad you did that. It sort of warned me of the content of this chapter.
Haha... the SPEW alter-ego in me is going to take over. One thing I noticed was the word choice. Sometimes I felt a better word would communicate the feelings better. For instance... Each step she took sounded wooden and plank-like, echoing eerily off the corridor walls. Would a step sound "plank-like?" I can see how the planks creaked under her feet, but not how her steps sounded like that. "What?" her sister replied with an edge. Her hazel eyes tiredly reflecting her impatience. It should be "...edge, her hazel eyes tiredly...." Simple punctuation mistake. Though, Morgaine already knew the answer... First of all, Morgaine is a way cool name. It reminds me of Morgana le Fay (sp?), the enchantress of the King Arthur legends. Try changing "though" to "but" with no comma after the first word. It's the most, really, you can do for Patryk since you can't use magic outside of Hogwarts. When Morgaine is talking to Isabelle, it sounds awkward for her to say "really" in the middle of the sentence. It would sound better to the listener's ear if she said "really" at the beginning of the sentence. He lay sprawled near a patch of filtered sunlight, as if scratching to escape the darkness. I'm a bit confused... Patryk was scratching himself, but perhaps you could say, "...filtered sunlight, as if scratching himself could help him escape the sunlight." Isabelle cautiously approached him, balancing on the fronts of her feet so not to step in puddles of blood strewn around the room. I believe the correct term for the "fronts" of the feet is "balls." I could be wrong, though. Isabelle sat on the couch, her knees closely huddled to her and arms encircling them. "...her knees closely huddled to her chest and her arms encircling them." She swung her foot uncomfortably in the air, keeping her gaze to the floor. I would keep my gaze on the floor, not to it. Isabelle, on the otherhand, was astray in a world of confusion and entangled feelings. "Otherhand" should be separated.In all, it was an excellent chapter! The brutal imagery was tasteful enough not to gross me out (I tried not to envision it so much). Isabelle is so fascinating. So, she's had some experience with werewolves. Her brother? This fic only gets more and more interesting as your chapters are posted. And Isabelle and Remus kiss... ::sigh:: Thanks for reining in all the "R" rated content. It's easy to put words on a page, but much harder to keep it within the bounds of reason. Great job, Kay - I hope to see chapter nine soon! *crosses fingers*
Date: 03/24/05 Title: Chapter 7: Nocturnal Revelations
Just amazing. I'm so glad to see you haven't neglected your story too much after receiving the honor of becoming a mod. The imagery was so clear in my mind's eye - I could see Remus' face as he transformed, Isabelle's horror at the end, and her sadness, among other things. A high quality chapter; it just gets better and better. I love the way you pay attention to JKR's storyline. Did she ever include the full moon in GoF? Better go check it, because if she did, you are a genius, even though you're one anyway. :S A ten very well deserved.
Author's Response: ::hugs:: Thank you for this; it is so very much appreciated!
Date: 08/19/05 Title: Chapter 9: Repercussions
YES! Chapter nine! I suppose I could go on about how happy that made me, but here's your review, LOL. Anyway... The opening paragraphs were very well-written. When I went back and re-read, I finally appreciated how carefully they were constructed. I guess the first time, I was too excited to be reading chapter nine I didn't pay enough attention. But there was a small error I noticed. Crossing her arms over her chest and shuffling her foot left to right, she stared at the wooden floor boards wishing to assuage her perplexed musings. There should be a comma after "boards;" it's not as if the boards are wishing to alleviate her state of mind, LOL. The remainder of the scene was so awkward (I was screaming, "Do something!" inside to Isabelle and Remus) but now as I think about it, it's appropriate. It would completely unlike both of them to not back away. In fact, I rather like it that they're showing some self-control.
After the first break in the story, the part that begins with "So to torture her when he very well knew..." and ends with "...skills in speaking it had diminished since her adolescence)." should be combined. The second sentence is a fragment, though it may seem not so. Also... "Well, what was I suppose to be enjoying yesterday...?" It should be supposed. Also, when Isabelle curses: you know I don't like profanity (especially when it's used casually or in the wrong context) but I think you can substitute something else. You could simply say something like, "Isabelle shot a look at the now-empty fireplace and cursed loudly enough for anyone to hear." The point is, you can capture how intense her feelings are without necessarily resorting to certain language. In the books, you'll notice how Jo never actually quotes the word or words (yes, I know, it also saves the ears of her children readers) but also manages to convey the meaning.Eek, sorry to spend so much time on one word. :) Isabelle's job: how interesting! I like how you give the readers information but never over-elaborate. The scene with Barty Crouch was very well played (mostly because I love how Isabelle stands up to him) and showed how controlling he was to others. And the last part with Sirius' note: how very refreshing after that intense scene! Sirius' plea for help made me smile; it's exactly like him. His nickname was amusing too. He always makes light of terrible situations. And a note: Howler is always capitalized.
Overall, I much enjoyed it, and am definitely looking forward to chapter ten! (The promise in your summary made me happy, LOL.) Hopefully this review will push you toward writing (in other words, write more please.) I'm looking forward to more of Remus too, since he's been a little bit neglected POV-wise. You've got such an excellent story, Kay, and so mature for one so young (even if you have aged, haha). Just kidding - I'll never think of you as young or old. Here's to chapter ten!Date: 03/07/05 Title: Chapter 5: Comfortable Silence
Interesting. This is the first story from the view point of Remus Lupin I have read, and you did a good job. But he did seem a little OOC - what's with the flirting? I would stay away from Isabelle, but that's biased, I suppose, because I hardly know anything about her. Still, it was very good. Nice vocabulary. ;)
Author's Response: From first impressions, I\'d probably stay away from Isabelle as well, but, as they say, you can\'t judge a book by it\'s cover. As for Remus being slightly OOC, I believe that we\'ve only ever seen him from really one-dimension in the books, at most, two-dimensions. I think he can flirt, but nothing to the likes of his friends and other males.
Thanks for the review!
Date: 03/07/05 Title: Chapter 6: Smoldering
Ahhhh! Premarital sex! Okay, I'll get over it... Anyway, I agree - you make your readers wonder what the heck is going on. So interesting! I liked your banner, too.
Author's Response: LOL, thanks for the review!
To Sever the Lining from a Cloud by Textualsphinx
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: This tale of the teacher whom everyone loathes,
Accounts for his anger and elegant clothes.
It dripped through my mind when, too scantily cloaked,
I got caught in a rainstorm and throughly soaked.
WARNING: Despite the glints of humour, you will need a handkerchief.
Date: 05/20/05 Title: Chapter 1: One shot
Normally, I'm a total technical error Nazi, but I will refrain from bombarding you with "suggestions" to edit your story with. (It was the occasional misplaced comma. Nothing important at all.) I thoroughly enjoyed your story and I'll keep in on my favorites always to read when I encounter a truly horrible Historical fic, to remind me that there are good authors out there! :D
I have to admit, I remember seeing this as a featured story a long time ago, but was too busy to take some quality time and read it. When I first saw this story's title, I thought that it was some clever paradox of some kind to draw me in. How I was proved wrong! I loved the way you named your story so aptly. And Snape did sever more than one lining - I thought that was the coolest thing.I had to reread the ranking game part again. I finally understood that it was both the boys and girls who played it. If you could clarify that a bit more, it would be helpful. I thought at first that girls were more likely to play this game, and that they were the only ones playing it. The mirror was surprising too - I didn't think he'd be that anguished over her. Angry, yes, but mad enough to smash a talking mirror? (That reminds me of Erik in the Phantom of the Opera. Thanks to you, I now have that music running through my head. *wink*)
The description of "severing a lynynge from a clouwde" was true to its age. It was imaginative enough to keep me reading, but not so misspelled and purposefully aged to stop me. Also, the interjection with the house-elf provided tasteful comic relief. But I think it’s odd that Snape would redirect sunbeams, even for Lily. I suppose it’s important to the plot, with the lightning harnessing, but it’s even admitted that Severus with a dark cloud behind him in fitting.And oh, how I love paradoxes. The lining of the cloud was perfect – both bright and grey at the same time. And that Snape had to pick the darkest, biggest, most ominous cloud for a lining. Dark clouds don’t have very visible linings. The rent in Lily’s Present is appropriate too. And James and Snape both holding magical clothes, so much the same yet so different. No wonder I love your story!
Your ending almost made me cry, and I’m not a sensitive at all. Just the fact that Lily wore the dress when she sacrificed herself for Harry… wow. That James lit a candle for Snape, lamenting his “sacrifice” was surprisingly, but necessary, I think. And that her dress fended off maggots…! Great allusion to the beginning of the story there.Lily seemed a bit distant in this one. She didn’t seem to be the vivacious young lady you described her as; rather, a gentle one with a ready smile. James, however, was portrayed very nicely. His reactions to Snape’s obsession over a dress were very in character. Snape was perfect, to say the least. Your notes at the end looked professional – the entire piece of well-written! Excellent writing, and I hope to see more. Don’t say you only write part of the time, it’s seriously making me sad. ;)
Author's Response: Thank you for your long and appreciative comments. I'll check the story for stray commas, but I suspect that everything is where it is quite deliberately. I occasionally bend the rules if I want a sentence to have a certain rhythm or sound a particular way in the reader's head. As regards clarity, I'll sacrifice ANYTHING to elegant syntax, and sometimes a fuller explanation of what's going on leads to clunkiness and story hold-up. As long as the reader CAN be reasonably expected to work it out, I'll won't make it easier if it spoils the style. I'm afraid I have stopped writing fanfiction for the time being, as my RL job takes up all my intellectual and creative resources. However, there are more fanfiction fragments of mine at fanfiction.net, ashwinder and adultfanfiction.net. Cheers.
The Three Muggleteers by Maggie
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Everything went absolutely crazy in 6th year as Draco Malfoy and his cronies get sent as foreign exchange students to a muggle high school in America. It's all insane and completely unpredictable: Voldemort gets married to his teddy bear, Lucius & Death Eaters practise Irish-dancing in Azkaban before they break out to join Voldemort in his newest and stupidest yet evil plan to take over the world, Greg turns into a chimp from his brain transplant. Bullies at school, hillbillies, 60's groove dudes and random French Maid costumes will turn their world upside-down. Hopefully, reading this story will convince you that Draco is not pretty. *~*This week's highlights: Draco gets his first driving lesson.
Date: 02/23/05 Title: Chapter 12: Lost
That was REALLY funny! And so random. CROISSANT!! MUFFIN! Keep writing, I check your story every day for an update!
Author's Response: Aww thank you! CROISSANT!! MUFFIN!
Date: 06/06/05 Title: None
This story was recommended to me by your beta, kaltaru, and I'm not at all disappointed. I admit I was a bit discouraged by the size of your earlier chapters, but this one satisfied me both in context and in style. The fresh approach to characters that can easily lead to cliches (Lily and James, namely) was really enjoyable. I like how you've really given us what's inside of Lily's head, instead of thrusting both Lily and James into situations without a thought toward their mental states.
Oh wow. Yes! An in-character Dumbledore! Needless to say, seeing a god-like Dumbledore isn't a favorite of mine. You've managed to keep him wise and discerning, which he is, but stopping at granting him all-knowing powers. The little hints of him knowing of Lily's hangover were so perfect. In all the right places, too.The phoenix song in answer to Lily's grief was really touching. And Dumbledore's words of comfort - an obvious piece of work! Very nice, even if kaltaru did help you a bit. :P And good transition to the Marauders in the lake. It wasn't too sudden, but appropriate for Lily to see such evident happiness. “Though I seem to remember doing something very similar when I was a pupil here, but with decidedly less…equipment on.” Haha! I loved that part! To think of a young Dumbledore is hilarity in itself, though. :D
I can see a definite improvement throughout your chapters. This chapter was the best so far. And I rather like your plot too, even if it includes the fact that Lily's parents are dead and that she's turned to Firewhiskey to nullify the pain. (And I loved the title of chapter three - Firewhiskey Lullaby! That song is so beautiful, and fit the chapter perfectly.) Please update this story soon, as you left us with a real cliffhanger!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the well thought out comment. I truly appreciate. I'm glad you have enjoyed my work thus far. I have to apologize for the lack of updating but sadly school has inserted itself. I hope to be cranking out chapters soon though, since summer is thankfully just three days away.
Date: 02/07/05 Title: None
Awesome story, so romantic...*wipes away a tear* UPDATE SOON! Honestly, I check it every other day and the little "shindig" chapter is NOT going to be the last one! Keep writing, cause I love your story.
Author's Response: General response for all ya'll: I have been cursed with major brain malfunctioning where this story is concerned. I am not done with it, but I'm not sure how to proceed from here. I'll be honest when I say I haven't had the musical inspiration for the story - I always base chapters (in my mind) on certain songs, the lyrics, the music, the emotions, whichever part that sticks out in my mind . . . So you can blame today's top hits for lack of inspiration (or me) but I promise something will come before the end of February. I'm sorry if that disappoints some of you, but in the mean time check out my other story if you're into the Draco/Hermione love fest . . . Thanks for your support and understanding. :-) God Bless.
Date: 03/14/05 Title: None
This is Caren, your sort-of-beta. Nice story! Very original... I'm so curious about these kinds of beings! I wasn't sure Malfoy was capable of love (hehe) but his and Chenoa's relationship is developing nicely. Chenoa... sweet name! Since you now have a review, post the next chapter!
Author's Response: *laughs* The next chapter? I can't even remember if I've finished it, I haven't looked at the story for so long! Wait, I just checked, I do....but almost none of the next one so you'll have to wait. But it'll be coming soon! Thanks so much for reviewing!
Date: 05/12/05 Title: Chapter 1: Left Behind
I'm finally reading and reviewing your fic, MJ! (I think hell froze over... what about you?) LOL... well, I'd just heard you talk about it so much I thought I'd actually read it for once. So here's your 22nd review, full of my endless list of nitpicks.
I know these won't matter to you as much, but I noticed some things as I was reading. So... The tears flowed freely down her face as she called out her usual last minute instructions to her youngest child who was attending her final year at Hogwarts. It should be "last-minute," shouldn't it? The prefects held their brief meeting, welcoming the new members to their ranks and honouring the new head boy and head girl. Ginny a prefect... I wonder how Mrs. Weasley responded to that. ;) I think that the positions for "Head Boy" and "Head Girl" should be capitalized. The train came to a juddering stop and after helping Hagrid with the First years, Ginny pulled herself up into one of the thestral-drawn carriages and rode up to the castle. I think it would be a better idea to split that into two sentences. "The train came to a juddering stop. After helping Hagrid..." See what I mean? The noun doesn't stay the same, and it's confusing. Percy’s continued estrangement from the Weasley family was taking it’s toll on her as well. Percy can die... I mean...*ahem* "It's" should be changed to the possesive "its." Ginny, Mrs. Weasley and Hermione had all cried as they had discussed the gains he’d made for the Order, Ron had sworn fiercely that his death would be avenged, Harry had remained silent but Ginny had seen the regret in his eyes. There should be an "and" in front of "Harry." I think with all the different people in that one sentence, you forgot to connect it all. “It would be all to easy to let myself care about you, Ginny.” When Harry's talking to Ginny here, the "to" should be "too." Now for the things I love about this fic. -->Harry was even more adamant that she not be hurt simply because he cared about her. *sigh* Young love. Harry sounds really mature in this sentence. Thank you. An ImmatureandWhiny!Harry at this point. I really love Ginny's and Harry's relationship at this point - it's soo sweet... And you killed off Charlie? What? No - Charlie can't die! Well, I suppose he has to at one point, but still - why? But the remembrance at the dinner table made the loss better. ;) A good start to your fic, MJ! I suppose if I have time, I'll read the rest of your fic... LOL, just kidding.Author's Response: Wow! I got a Caren Review! I think I should post a large warning on this first chapter of mine: "Not Beta'd!" Actually it has been beta'd and I have a list of corrections for the first four chapters, but I'm not going back until this fic is finished. However, you fully have my permission to skim through the bad writing and not review until chapter 5 ;)
Date: 06/05/05 Title: Chapter 12: An Unexpected Visit
You were right when you said I had to get past the first chapter. I love this story, and that's amazing in itself because I'm not the biggest Ginny fan. But I really appreciate the way you've kept her strong enough to face her battles, yet weak, keeping her in character. Yes, definitely.
This plot has so many twists and turns, I couldn't stop reading until I got to the last chapter (which is this one, obviously). Along the way, I thought it'd be hard to keep two timelines in check, but you've done a great job of separating the pregnant Ginny and the mother Ginny. Both are very different, and I applaud you. Also, we haven't been seeing much of Harry until later chapters, but I rather like the way you've portrayed him. Describing his Auror training was well done too, and very creative.I had to sigh at the Ron/Hermione relationship. Thank you, thank you, thank you for keeping Hermione in character, and for balancing her with Ron. Sometimes I see Ron totally monopolizing the relationship, and it shouldn't be that way at all. And their bickering made me smile, and also Mrs. Weasley's reaction to the two together. Have to say it, but it was cute. :D
This chapter doesn't contain any glaringly obvious technical mistakes, and there's not much to say about canon except that Anne must be a real help. ;) Haha, just kidding. The fact that Percy got married to Penelope was surprising, though, and also the fact that she was already pregnant. I thought that Ginny would slip and remark about being pregnant - and give herself away. It was odd when Ginny moved onto Percy right away after learning that Penelope was there. Wouldn't she show some concern, since she knows what it's like to be pregnant? Wouldn't she at least like to see her?Haha, that last part with McGonagall and "remedial Transfiguration" made me laugh. “If I didn’t know better, I would think you actually wanted to be in detention.” :D And I can't wait to see Mrs. Weasley's reaction at Penelope's birth - "My first grandchild!" sort of thing, while Ginny watches... I have a feeling that an inner dilemma is coming up, for some reason.
Wow, I'm so glad I got past chapter one! Hopefully you'll still write, even if you're a mod now. I know I would sorely miss it. ;) Great fic, keep writing, and keep the suspense coming!Author's Response: Wow! Thank you for the wonderful in depth review!
It's only mentioned briefly, but according to the timeline, Percy married Penelope well before he got her pregnant. You can assume they even waited til their wedding night, if you wish ;) He just didn't bother to reconcile with his folks or inform them of his newly married status until he found out that Penelope was with child... that's Percy for ya! And yes, I think it's safe to say that some tension with Ginny concerning Penelope's baby is coming. Though Penelope's child is indeed the first grandchild. Gwen is a couple months younger... (that darn time turner, I know!)
You can safely assume that this fic wouldn't be half of what it is without the help of my lovely betas. The pester me about characterization, plot cliches, canon and all manners of technical issues. Any mistake that slips through is of course mine but there would be more of them without Anne and Jan! And I wouldn't post without their stamp of approval! (I say this because I'm notorious for writing OOC!Hermione... but they always make me fix it!)
As for continuing to write, of course I will! I've just had to take a bit of a pause and sort out all of my plot bunnies. This fic was becoming too complex, one of my pet peeves, and since I've been so busy I let it rest until I have time to focus on it. Thank-you again for foraging past the first chapter and leaving such a wonderful review!
Vampyr by Zetera
Rated: 6th-7th Years •Summary: A tale showing excerpts from the life of Tom Riddle as he became Voldemort, and Severus Snape in his double agent role. Both of these tales are linked by the Vampyr.
This fic is totally wrong now since the release of DH and I find it completely annoying at this stage as it was written so long ago, well even before it was published on this site. But some very nice people liked it at the time, so it's staying up.
Date: 03/07/05 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter Four: Visions of the Golden Glade
I agree with Phoenix - what an extremely sharp contrast this story is! I sort of cringed at the cussing - who wants to fill their mind with junk? - but the imagery was astonishing. Can't wait for the next chapter! A ten well deserved for all of your chapters so far.
Author's Response: Sorry if the cursing kind of got to you, but I just used it to show Tom's personality, not mine. He didn't have the best upbringing, and he's young and kind of immature at this point, seeking approval from Avril for his actions. Obviously, time will change him, as he's very different in the books. Thank you for the great review though, a ten all the way - I'm so proud!
Date: 06/25/05 Title: None
Wow. That was hilarious! I doubt most people know who the AFers are... maybe you should have changed Cedric to Cory. It got kind of confusing towards the end. This EBT is cracking me up... especially the parts where random people like shippers came in. You know, this story isn't finished... there isn't a happy ending yet... update! (Yay for fluff reviews!)