Just your average Broadway-loving, Spring Awakening-obsessed teen Harry Potter fanatic who is hopelessly in love with Remus Lupin and SIRIUSly depressed after DH.......
Thanks....
And reviews are ALWAYS appreciated!!!! ALWAYS appreciated, you have no idea how happy reviews make me feel....
Very nice!! Nice summary!
Very nice!! Nice summary!
I liked your story and I wanted to congradulate you for writing and posting a fic that is in a language other than your native one!! I am taking Italian and we're learning how to write (a little bit) and it is very difficult to write in a second language, so I want to give you kudos for a job well done!!!
Author's Response: You are right about writing in a non native language which you didn\'t use habitually. It\'s really hard.
I\'ve been studying english for a lot of years, but I managed a rough translation. It was accurately revised by my beta, Paisa.
I\'m happy you liked my story.
Thank for your review and your congratulation and good luck for your italian writing. ;-) Rik
Very good job! I'm proud to be your first reviewer! I really liked this story. You have a talent for dialogue. The first scene was ingenious! However, there are some areas where you need work that, though pertaining little to this chapter, have to do with th story. The first thing that needs work is your summary. Here's your summary as it is currently:
Can't wait until Book Seven? Wait no longer! Harry must begin the hunt for Voldemort's Horcruxes. Along the way, he encounters a mysterious stranger who may either help or harm him. Will he defeat the Dark Lord? Find out in this well-researched version. First of all, you don't need the first or second scentences as part of the summary. In my humble opinion, that detracts from the summary. The summary's third scentence, the one beginning with "Harry must begin the hunt..." could be made much more exciting and captivating! You're a GREAT author and if the summary was a little more captivating you would have SO many reads. Try to add imagery into your summary such as "Harry, nervous but determined, must set out to rid the world of Voldemort and his Horcruxes. Along the way, he encounters a mysterious stranger. Who is she? And will she help him or be detrimental in his quest to defeat Voldemort?" The last scentence is unnecessary too. Also, I think you should recatagorize it. I don't know if it will be a romance between Harry/Luci (though that would be awesome! You've written Luci SO well...I am so intrigued about her!) but you could categorize it Harry/OC under Romance. It's just that when people read stories, they're more likely to look under the "Romance" topic- it's just more specific, nothing more. I hope I wasn't too harsh about the summary, and EXCELLENT JOB!!!!! I can't wait to read more!
Author's Response: You are SO sweet! You totally made my night, I have to tell you. I will take your advice about the summary and rework it, since you seem to know what you\'re talking about! If you don\'t want to wait to read more, you can check out the link that I posted in Chapter 1. THANK YOU again! Happy holidays! Best wishes, Sunny
Nice job, but (this is probably the second time this hour I've left a review of this caliber) The summary must be changed. That summary is not attracting readers/reviewers at all. Poems are barely read/reviewed, so they must have appealing sumaries. I suggest you look at Stoical Silences by lupinslover12 for a good idea of a nice poetry summary.
I like this poem a lot. It involved a lot of emotion and I did like the rhyme pattern. Said outloud, the ABAB stanzas were very quirky and cute. However, this poem did have a lot of sincerity and depth. Good job!!!
Author's Response: Thank you a lot.
I\'ll see what I can do with the summary. Thanks fot your kind advice. I\'ve noticed it myself too that it doesn\'t seem to attract many people, sadly.
.I liked it, it was a very good poem. However, I know it's your style, but I'm not a very big fan of stanza four, I think one line is a lilttle too short to be one stanza, but I realize your trying to put emphasis on that line. However, I think there are more visually stirring ways to do that without giving it its own stanza- italics perhaps. Otherwise, great job! I'm going to read your other stories later when I have more time and I really hope this is a sample of your writing abilities because I really LOVED this poem!!! Kudos!
Author's Response: Thanks so much!
Manda*
This was a great great story! Good job! I really liked it. I don't mean for this to be so short, but there's really no suggestions to make- it was perfect! I just wanted to give you this as kudos and props for such a good story!
This poem was very very good, but, as often is the case with poetry, the summary needs some more work. What I find best in poetry is if an excerpt of the poem is put in the summary. For an example of a good summary, I think you should look at Stoical Silence, a fic by lupinslover12. Now about the actual poem, I must say that I liked it a lot! I loved the whole pattern and ABAB rhyme scheme. I also LOVED how you constantly brought up the rose, weaving an intricate theme all through the story!! Great job, and you'l get many more readers if you tweak your summary to include an excerpt of the peom, because it's really good and I like it a lot!
Author's Response: Thank you! I\'ll put an excerpt of poem in the summary. The rose is my favorite flower and when I saw a pic of a red rose on a black background I just knew I had to write this poem. Thanks for the review and advice!
I really liked your story and everything but what's going on with the last two chapters...I keep getting "access denied"
Author's Response: Thanks! The next two are in the queue and haven\'t been validated by a mod yet, which is why you can\'t see them. This will happen two chapters at a time until we get to chapter eight. Thanks for reviewing!
~Moony : )
Awww!!! That was a really cute take on a classic story. However, I did think the story was a little unrealistic. JK Rowling has said many times the Potters' were very rich, so I doubt somehting like this would occur. Still, I hope that's not too harsh, and with all due respect, I think you did a good job on this! Love the line about the wierd pregnacy craving!
Awww!!! That was a really cute take on a classic story. However, I did think the story was a little unrealistic. JK Rowling has said many times the Potters' were very rich, so I doubt somehting like this would occur. Still, I hope that's not too harsh, and with all due respect, I think you did a good job on this! Love the line about the wierd pregnacy craving!
Author's Response: D\'oh! I forgot that detail! I almost never use Lexicon! I usually forget to do so.
I added that AU warning just in case so that people will know what they are in for. Thanks for catching that!
Great job! This story was so sweet and cute! I loved it! The only thing is, and this is a mere technicallity, perhaps you would like to reformat it, to put a lline between each paragraph. My latest story formatted incorrectly, too, and it was ever so annoying when people commented about it in reviews, so I'm sorry, but I find it necessary to point out. You'll get tons more positive feedback once you reformat it, I guarentee! This story was great and the only part that turned me off was the formatting, which isn't even your fault! You should be very proud of yourself!
-to_the_stage93
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I have no idea why it isn\'t formatted properly, though... I did the same thing I\'ve done with all my stories, and it\'s never done this before... *headdesk*
Wow...this is an absolutely wonderful and amazing poem! This poem is amazing! Just one minor query: How does Tonks recieve this poem if Remus is dead? Well anyway, great job and I really LOVE this poem!
Author's Response: The dead always have ways of communicating ;-) Glad you liked the poem.
I really liked your poem, but I'm going to offer you some constructive criticism:
1. Did you know that your entire poemwritten under the heading of "Author's Notes"? I don't know if you can change that or anything but it's really bugging me.
2. I really don't like your summary. I think you would be able to get more reads/reviews with a summary that includes, possibly an excerpt from the poem, or something to that extent. I know, poetry summaries usually aren't that good, but I've read a poem once with a truly excellent summary- it's called Stoical Silence, by an author called lupinslover12 and it was on this site. I suggest you check it out for a model of a good summary.
Author's Response: Thank you so much, I really loved your points and I shall try to act on them!!
P.s. I don\'t think I can get rid of the Authors Notes bit, I have tried and failed, sorry it is that annoying.
This is a FANTASTIC piece!!! I must say, I think this is the BEST one shot I've ever read. The summary is SO intruiging...this piece is so...wow...it's absolutely incredible...great job! I'm adding this story to my favorites (if i figure out how)
Author's Response: Wow, thank you for the fabulous review, I\'m speechless! I\'m glad you read this story and enjoyed it so much. I really appreciate you taking the time to leave such a wonderful review, it is so great to know when someone enjoys a story so much! I\'m so excited! Thanks again!! ~Gina :)
Great jon! I laughed so hard when I first read this! The last two lines are so sweet!
Wow I really really like this chapter!!! I love how you write in present-tense, that's difficult to pull off but you did really well!!!!
Author's Response: I\'ve never written present tense before, I had to keep correcting my \'was\' and my \'were\'s. Thanks a bunch!
Very very very cute!!!!! Good job!!! I loved Harry's speech!
Author's Response: Thanks so much! Glad you enjoyed it!!! :) *hugs*
So cute!!!! What a cute RL/NT oneshot!!!! I enjoyed the ending, good job!
Author's Response: Ta very much! I\'m glad you liked the ending, as I worked hard on it.
I liked it. It was very good. However, I think, if this is in compliance with canon, the time line needs to be checked. Because Tonks's hair was pink when they came and picked up Harry at the end of the year, we can assume the thing with Remus didn't happen until after that, while she got out of St. Mungo's before the end of the school year so....following me? Anyway, good start.
Author's Response: Oh, well, thanks. I didn\'t really think about that when I started. I\'ll try and rearrange that, though, so thanks.
Author's Response: Oh, well, thanks. I didn\'t really think about that when I started. I\'ll try and rearrange that, though, so thanks.