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A Bitter Pill to Swallow by forsakenphoenix
Rated: •Summary: It’s the countdown to a breakdown. Lovers, friends, and those he thought were friends—it doesn’t matter what they were, all that matters is what they are—gone, dead; some buried beneath the surface of the earth, some beneath the surface of his skin. Post-Halloween 1981, RL/SB
Date: 02/11/06 Title: Chapter 1: A Bitter Pill to Swallow
Very goood story. I am not a fan of slash, but I like they way you described their relationship. And the way Remus reacted to seeing James dead brought tears to my eyes. Very well-written. Thank you.
One Day in Surrey by Isabel C
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Harry gets his first pair of glasses, and Petunia vows never to take him shopping again.
Date: 07/10/06 Title: Chapter 1: One Day in Surrey 1/1
Very nice story. :D Thanks for sharing :) I like the argument between the two boys. Very... kid-like :D
Chris
Date: 02/11/06 Title: None
Good beginning. Like others said, I find Lily a bit too anti-James, but it is plausible.
The Marauder interaction is well-written, and I like the fact that you introduced Frank and Alice :)
Looking forward to seeing more of this.
Amortentia by Cruciatus Love
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: Merope Gaunt has what seems like a flawless plan to get Tom Riddle to love her. She has everything worked out to the very last drop of Amortentia in his glass each morning. Watch as a country called Romania and a celebration of love takes it's effect on this 'perfect love.'
Written as a Term Challenge: Holidays Abroad submission for Slytherin.
Date: 08/28/06 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue
Woo!! :) Nice chapter. The way you write Tom is great. His thoughts, especially, showing the change the potion makes.
I'm not certain about Mereope, she didn't give me the impression of being that enterprising. But then again, her father didn't give her a chance to do anything, really.
I can't wait to see what happens next :)
Chris
Author's Response: *huggles my Tom* Thanks, I love him, too. Heh, thanks for the review, Chris!
Date: 08/28/06 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter One
Hahaha :D I WAS in the Ciucas Mountains, like a month ago. Great mountains :)
One correction: “A face pe plac la a păstra al tău chipeş şi picioare interior art.hot. film tren la tot timp.” should look like: "Vă rugăm să păstraţi mâinile şi picioarele în interiorul trenului în timpul mersului."
art.hot is a grammar note, and really has no bussiness being in a story :D
Anyway, I like the way you build the history, using her memory, and the short scene with the dresses. Gives power to the character. I wonder what that thing with the potion means?
Of course, we know that she'll stop feeding him the potion, so I'm waiting to see what happens :)
Great work, keep it up :)
Chris
Author's Response: *worries* Wow, I really had never imagined someone from Romania actually reading this! I hope it didn\'t stink too badly...and I shall change that translation when I go through this next time. Thanks, Chris!
Date: 08/28/06 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter Two
Ooh, things are getting interesting. I like your description of the holiday, sounds like the real thing :D It's not exactly a celebration of love, but more of a coming-of-spring thing.
The small amulets, as you call them, are given to girls, but not just to a romantic interest. You'd give one to a sister, a friend, a relative, etc. :)
I have this essay abut it, but it would be useless to dig for it now :)
Great chapter. The jealousy was well-written, and it tells us a lot about her. Wouldn't the potion make sure that Tom was faithful to her? Silly girl :D
Tom's actions are great, too. Very well-written.
Chris
Author's Response: Yeah, the research I did for that said it could be given to anyone, but I just thought it would work better with the plot just for it to be romantic. Thanks, though. I wish you had been here when I was writing this so I could ask *you* questions.
Date: 08/28/06 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter Three
You know, I didn't think AT ALL about Voldemort. So yeah, I'm surprised. :)
Very nice development this chapter. Still, why isn't the potion-free Tom acting more like the Muggle he was? I'd think that he'd act more harsh towards Mereope.
Another well-written chapter, and I can't wait to see what will happen now. :) How will Tom react?
Chris
Author's Response: Heh, I sort of think of him as someone who isn\'t a morning person and doesn\'t really realize what\'s going on until after he drinks the potion. Does that make sense? Thanks for the review, Chris.
Date: 08/28/06 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter Four
Well, that answers my question. Great chapter, altough angsty. I'm not a fan of angst, but I knew what I was in for the moment I started the fic :)
Tom's actions are plausible, and well-thought out. Writing it from Mereope's PoV was a brilliant choice, as it gave us a glimpse at how mush she had lied to herself.
Keep up the good work :)
Chris
Author's Response: Thanks, Chris. And too bad you don\'t like angst, because that\'s pretty much all I write. You should learn to like it, though. It\'s fun!
Date: 08/28/06 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter Five
Whoah. Very emotional chapter. Nicely written, too.
This paragraph could use some work, tho: "Merope noticed here how alone she was. She had no one to go to, no one to lean on, and no one to go to for help. She was stuck in an exotic country with no where to go. She felt useless."
You could write it as, "Looking at the flowing water, Mereope realized how alone she was. She had no one to go to, no one to lean on. Nobody was there to help her. She was stuck in a foreign country, and had no idea whwere to go. She felt as if she had no more use."
Well, I hope that helps. When I read it, it sounded a bit off, so I tried improving it. Wether I did that is your choice.
The decision to snap her wand seems a bit harsh, I think. The circumstances excuse her, tho.
Masterfully written chapter.
Chris
Author's Response: She had to snap her wand or it wouldn\'t follow canon, and then just seemed like the best time to do it. And yes, many people have commented on that line, I will fix it eventually. Thanks for the review!
Date: 08/28/06 Title: Chapter 7: Epilogue ~ Birth of a Legend
This chapter is written differently than the others (I'm good at stating the obvious, eh?)
Nice change. Mixing present and past worked great. :) I disliked the inclusion of Sara, but hey, you're the author :D And it did help advance the plot.
Nice story, over-all :) not a pairing or time-frame I usually read, but I like it :)
Chris
Author's Response: Yeah, I wrote this chapter almost a month after finishing the fic. But I rather like the way it\'s written. Thanks for all your reviews, Chris.
Porcelain Doll by silver_tears
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: Pansy had once laughed at those other girls who were obsessed with the way they looked. She now knew that the line separating the normal world from the other – the world no one ever talked about – that line was too thin to be noticed; once she’d trodden beyond that point, there would be no going back.
The road to perfection is too rough to attain and porcelain dolls break from the pressure of it.
A Winter Miracle challenge, written by silver_tears for Slytherin house.
Date: 12/23/06 Title: Chapter 1: Porcelain Doll
Oooh nice fic :)
Sad fic, but it ends happily, so that's great :)
Very good imagery, and you did a wonderful work with the emotions, especially Draco's.
Chris
Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing, Chris. :) -Debbie