Very good chapter two --- it really got me into the story, and quickly, too. The dream was weird --- I suppose it'll play in later chapters, but the discription of Diagon Alley was very similiar to the way I would have reacted. All in all, a bit short but very good! Cheers!
Author's Response: Oh, thanks so much for your reviews, I really appreciate it!
Parody, yes? And a good one, too, I might add. Voldemort and hot chocolate? Somehow I never imagined that, but its very amusing all the same. Update soon! Cheers!
Author's Response: I was planning for this to be a "one shot" but seeing as everyone likes it so much I may have to reconsider. Now just for some ideas....
Barney and Voldemort teaming up? That would be a terror -- I liked the postman bit, very funny and it sounds exactly like what Voldemort WOULD do when tired of junkmail. And the thing about Luciuc always bweing around -- very funny, and I suspect somewhat true! (The terms of address I mentioned in last chapter: I meant things like "No, Bob, your left", which you were leaving out one or both of the commas: nothing big, just noticable. And they weren't in this chapter.) Anyway, awesome ending for this chapter-- what will the Order do when confronted by the cookie song? Great story, update soon! Cheers!
Author's Response: Thank you so much, I'm trying to get the next chapter up as soon as possible...I might do it today. Thanks for clearing up the comma thing - I'll do my best to look out for that.
Oh, dear Lord . . . . Voldemort and Harry are both going to make themselves sick with that much suger, you know that? The whole Dancing against thedark arts things is very amusing, and I'm still trying to figure out what to make of the cookie thing. . . . Anyway grammatically clean and very amusing --- what else could I want from the humor section?
Cheers!
Author's Response: Thanks Loki, I love to read your reviews. And I see I'm on your favorite authors list aswell as favorite stories! Wohoo!!!!!
NO, I still laughed very much --- I liked the to-do list and the LOTR quotes, very funny, and of course the Voldemort bits were hilarious. Still can't tell your writing on writer's block . . . though I CAN tell Volie's on sugar high. Cheers!
Author's Response: Aww, thanks Loki! Love ya!
"As Voldemort continued to scribble furiously, Lucius began to think that maybe the Dark Lord's strict diet of sugar and marshmallows wasn't such a good idea." --- I said all of those marshmellows were going to have a negative effect, didn't I? Wonderful chapter --- yeah, the internet scam thing was funny, and the Divination thing. I shudder to think of what you might do with Trelawney, she's weird enough without alteration. All in all, a VERY funny new chapter! Cheers!
Author's Response: Ha ha - unfortunately Trelawney isn't up to much in chapter 7, which has been submitted, but who knows for the future? Thanks for the great review!
*Loki is busy laughing. Come back to her in five minutes* *five minutes later* Does this give you an idea of how funny I find this story (sadly, humor is one of the hardest things to find done well). Hermione and Snape's discussion about the points was great, and the marshmellows are still very funny as well. Lucius is planning to return things to normal, eh? So somebody in this fic still has half an ounce of sense. All in all, excellent chapter! Cheers1
Author's Response: Wow, thanks Loki, that was high praise! Hmm...I wonder if Lucius will get his wish?
MARSHMELLOWS! Awesome, and very, very funnny new chapter -- Lupin, dancing? Another very funny thing that never would have occured to me, and the whole the characters know they're book characters is pretty cool -- definitely something I've never seen before. "That is exactly the kind of logic Voldemort doesn't concern himself with, and neither should you." Loved that line. One minor criticism in my praise -- watch your terms of adresss, only a few of them are set off by commas. Aside from my small nitpicking, please update this immensely funny fic soon! Cheers!
Author's Response: Hi, i'll try to watch that, I'm still not entirely sure what you mean...is it after a character speaks, use a comma, or are you talking about somewhere else? Thanks for the great praise though!
If you hadn't told us you were writing this on writers block, I wouldn't have been able to tell. Really, the story has an actual plot (yay!), and Hermione was great! The whole thing is just very, very funny, as are the frequent mentions of Marshmellows and Lucius Malfoy's characterization. Still a ten! Cheers!
Author's Response: There's a plot? Quick, where? I can't see it!!! lol - aww thanks Loki, you always leave the greatest reviews. Glad you liked Hermione, she wasn't as hard as I thought she would be, it's Ron who's proving troublesome...
Loki would like to take this time to apologize profusely for taking a VERY long time to review you? Apology accepted? Anyway, the chapter was great as usual --- Lupin's werewolf suit was very funny, and of course he part about Voldemort always waiting until the end of the book was fairly amusing. And the broomstick? Seriously. . . . Well, a few grammar errors, like one point where a word was possessive rather than plural like it was supposed to be, but nothing really big. All in all, awesome second to last chapter. Cheers!
Author's Response: Ha ha ha - apology accepted. I must check up on those grammar errors - thanks. It may or may not be the second last chapter actually...I've had a change of heart over my Easter break...
Awesome, awesome first chapter. From what we know of Lily and James, it sounds very IC for the both of them and just very sweet in general. One small grammar thing: "a few more check". You meant "checks" didn't you? Anyway, awesome chapter one, now onto chapter two! Cheers!
And another awesome chapter -- once again, very IC and sweet, though I can't help but question calling Remus "Lupin" in the letter. And there's one other spelling mistake "She has know about this". You meant "known" right? OTher than my nitpicking grammar, though, this is an awesome story! Cheers!
Another exremely sweet chapter -- I like this way of explaining James and Lily; very origional and very sweet in its way. Thanks for sharing it with us! Nitpicky grammar: "it was a good thing I wated the prototype was jinxed" needs a semicolon. And "your father and his friends fancy themselves major prankster" needs an "s". "James and I are fight against Voldemort". I'm not sure whether this is supposed to be "in the fight" or "fighting". I hope I'm not annoying you with all my grammatical nitpicking -- truly, I'm really enjoying this story; it's a great take on both Lily and James, as parents-to-be and as people. That said, update this soon! Cheers!
Author's Response: Please ffeel free to leave me notes. Tehy are what I live for, I did not have this story beta read because I am currently subjecting them to a chapter with 15000 words. They have enough work. Thanks for reading and reviewing and come back soon. --- Delightedly Samantha
Author's Response: P.S. When I type quickly I seem to do a lot of fat fingering. Please forgive the major typos in my last post.
Very, very amusing -- I was sniggering by the end of it, and Hermione, Fred, and George were perfect. Yes, I can see Ron being like that on his wedding day and Fred and George would pull something, wouldn't they? The ending, too was hilarius (sp?) -- "It's about bloody time." Only one thing -- couldn't tell which was Fred and which was George in the long speals of dialogue. Otherwise, definiately a good read! Cheers!
Interesting . . . I've never heard Peter-Hufflepuff before (most people thjink of putting him in SLytherin if they don't go with cannon [rolls eyes]), but now that you mention it . . . . Yeah, I can see Sirius ending up friends with James even if he WAS a Slytherin, and your dialogue is good. One minor critique -- the cannon spelling is "Moony" not "Mooney". Anyway, good start! Cheers!
Another good chapter -- the telepathic bit confused me slightly, but then you explained . . . . Oh, and very good discription, though I believe Marauders is capitalized and in cannon (yes, I realize its AU) Remus is fully a wolf, though a bit oversize. . . . Anyway, good story! Cheers!
Hm . . . . Good chapter, though it confuses me that all the Houses have Transfiguration at the same time. Wouldn't that be a little much for McGonagall? And in the first paragraph, you use "her" instead of "him" for Lucius. Otherwise, good chapter! Cheers!
Author's Response: It's NEWTs...they're in their sixth year, so anyone in NEWT charms would be there, regardless of house
Hm . . . that was interesting -- thanks for clearing up the bit about the classes last chapter. I can see James being furious at everyone --- very in character, too. I shudder to see how Lily is going to react when she figures out "Snivellus" slipped her a love potion. I loved Sirius's comment to Peter --- very IC and funny. Hm, nothing to cricize, this chapter. Cheers!
Wow --- very good. I greatlyu enjoyed it, though I'm going to have to go with another reviwer and obnoxiously guess that the poem is about --- Remus Lupin! I really do like your poetry, though, the Shakespearian style here is great. Cheers!
Author's Response: Thank you very much, so glad you like it! Okay okay, I see I have unwittingly dug myself into a hole here by signing the poem 'Remus Lupin', but I wanted people to guess what it had to do with him, rather than who it was by...ha ha ha, very funny. YAY Shakespeare!
Woah --- awesome, awesome, awesome. The emotional content of this story is amazing (though I admit, due to Loki's lack of thought, the beginning confused her because I hadn't realized that the prologue is the end, so to speak). The characterization is wonderful, as is the dialogue, and the discription is good. Two things: In the Dumbledore and Trelawney scene (which was particular brilliance by the way), the first sentence Trelawney speaks needs a period at the end, not a comma, and there's a "womans" when you need "woman's." Picky grammatical things, however --- the story itself is brilliant, and the ending was perfect. Cheers!
Author's Response: Thanks Loki, you always pick up on the stuff that I miss, and help me make this better. I've made those changes - thank you! Sorry if the whole starting where I'll finish thing was a bit confusing, I just thought it would be cool to do the story in a circle. Nice to hear the characterization and story content is coming along well. Thanks again - I love your input.