Olivia! Omg this was soooo good! Its so obvious... why have I never thought of a Seamus/Dean pairing? Usually I dont read slash, but this was exceptional. Your writing is distinguished and discriptive.
One thing though, I was a bit confused about how Seamus managed to hide his feeling for Dean from his best mate. They spent every waking minute of the past 7 years together! You told us cleary that Dean, or anyone else didn't know, and you wrote a little about how Seamus hid it, but still - Seamus stares an awful lot. Maybe- and this is just a suggestion- in the next chapter have a paragraph or two about why Seamus thinks Dean doesn't catch on. Maybe Dean has a small inkling but doesn't want to admit that his best friend is gay?
Anyways, this was a great fic. I can't wait to read more of it! I rewrote this reveiw 4 times because I forgot to copy it and for some reason it's not going through. *cross you fingers for the 4th time* Usually I'd give up after the first time I tried to submit a reveiw that wouldn't go through, but I thought you totally deserved this!
Author's Response: I\'m glad you liked it! And I must say, your very perceptive. I know it seems a bit odd right now, but trust me, all the little pieces will fit together soon enough, and your question will eventually be answered.;) Thank you so much for reviewing! I really appreciate it. - Olivia
Wow, that was a really great story. I loved how you could see Alice's thoughts become clearer, and the ending was very touching. Also, I thought it was clever how you called Neville the Earth Child. Nice work!
Author's Response: Thanks. I somehow always pictured Neville as an Earth Child-- his natural talent to nourish growing things, maybe, or his love for the soil. Anyway... thanks again! ~Fauna
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
Every student plans on making their final year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry the most memorable one ever. Eight in particular want to make those minutes really count. Except, they each have a different idea of how to go about doing it.
James Potter would like to waltz into Lily Evans’s life and throw it completely off course. Julie McGuire didn’t exactly plan on rescuing Remus Lupin, but now that she has, why not just go with it? Marlene McKinnon should have know what she got herself into when she kissed Sirius Black the first time, but that boy has a way of knocking her senseless. Emmeline Vance had planned to just sit back and watch it all happen, until Roxanna Louchester, her ex-friend, barged in and turned everything upside down.
Suddenly they’ve gone from only wanting the most memorable year, to achieving it. It’s a year of love and lust. It’s a year of tears and fights. It’s a year of finding yourself. It’s a year of learning to lose. It’s a year that none of them are likely to forget.
Sub for sub? Haha- Mere, this was an amazing read! Is it really your first fic? It can't be, can it? Okay my nitpicks:
I'm not really a fan of the chapter title. The "Of a, b, and c" thing I think is kind of cliche. Yeah, I would definitely change that.
Also, with the letter from Emmeline's parents, it took me a couple of times to read it over to figure out why Emmeline was so upset by it. Personally, I would have considered it a sympathetic letter, and would have made it more obvious why Emmeline does not find it satisfactory.
Another thing, why does Lily glare at Frank when he say hello? Is he supposed to be mocking her? It seemed to me like he was just responding to her hello.
Also, wouldn't Linda Downs know that Robert and Kimberly are twins if she's in the same year as them? After all they've had classes together for five years. Just a small irk.
Also, wasn't Snape sworn to secrecy about Remus being a werewolf by Dumbledore? He wouldn't have said "Hello werewolf" in front of Regulus. Also isn't Regulas Sirius's younger brother? Would he be beating someone up with an older kid? I would have chosen someone else for Snape's comrade.
Okay now that bad parts out of the way, I can tell you about all the amazing things this chapter had. First of all, I loved the begging with the diary. And how you made Lily seem like an over achiever, but still childish and light spirited. People usually make Lily a hard worker, but also very serious, which I'm glad you stayed away from. I also really loved Emmeline's character. She took out her anger with clothes, haha that made me laugh. Also, I like how you switched points of veiw often. It kept the reader interested, instead of one straight chapter (5000 words too - how did you do that???) told by the same person. The part where Lily and her father say goodbye is very touching, I love his nickname for here: Tigerlily. This was a great line:
"It was hard for him, harder than it ever appeared, to watch his favorite daughter disappear into a world he knew nothing about." That really gave me an insight into his feelings. I like how Lily and James weren't completely surprised when they saw each other, and how James hardly took notice of her. Also, you'd think James would be the late one, but it goes to show how much he's matured. Also, the naming of the prefects was really creative, with intervals of Lily's thoughts. That was a great idea! Oh, and I feel so sorry for Remus! I hope he gets helped. And Roxie seems... interesting. I'm curious to see why they aren't friends anymore, what she needs help with, and who her friends are now. "“And that’s the bad part of coming back,” said Lily, making a face at the door." That line also made me laugh, it was a great end to a greater chapter. What a very uncliche, marvelous story. I think I'll add it to my favorites now.
-Avery
Author's Response: Avery! -huggles- WOW! Thank you for your amazing review. I'll go look into those things and see what I can do. ;) I tried to make it as un-cliche as possible. I think it's working, yeah? You pointed out my favorite lines. :D I love that line from her dad too. It really bugs me when Lily's all uptight and no fun in fics, so I made her loose and more fun. Emmeline is quite the character, isn't she? As for Remus and Roxie... well, you'll just have to wait and see. -laughs evilly- Oh, and, I like long chapters, what can I say? :) -hugs- xo Mere
Bine! THIS IS ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE! 1667 words ... I never knew that was possible for a poem. And it rhymes too! O.o I am sooo jealous of your skill and talent at writing poems. This is going straight to my favorites. It was like literature only Harry Pottery. *continues to mumble nonsensical compliments under breath* -Avery
Author's Response: Thank you so much, Avery, dear! You have no idea how long I sat on this *damn* poem. >.< And thanks for adding it to your favourites. *is proud*
~Bine