Whoa. Another great chapter. Whazt's most interesting to me is that you've separated a couple of assumptions that I had made at the end of HBP. We knoe Harry must finally kill Voldemort; no one else can. Given that, it would be logical to assume that Harry must also destroy the Horcrixes. Hoever, you've shown that not only is it not Harry who must do so, but that in fact he may very well not have the ability to do so. This adds a really interesting element tot he story. Congratulations on some great ideas, as well as superb writing. Thanks for a great read!
Author's Response: You're welcome! I was always going to have to make Harry share the glory in this sequel, far more so than he will in the seventh book, because of the things that happened in Daughter of Light. I think it's going to be terribly difficult for Harry to destroy them on his own so I've given hime help. :-)
And thanks for reviewing!
*throws all her grammar and phonetic books away and sits down at the pc* Well, at least I’ve waited a while with putting this review together, so now I won’t feel so bad about repeating myself – surely you’ve forgotten all of what I wrote before? ;)
Lord Voldemort! Oooh, he was creepy! His attitude towards Pettigrew was spot-on, as was his reasoning on Severus: ‘“I will see. Certainly the killing of the old man indicates he was not working for him. My question is, is he working for me?”’ - this gives me a lot on the Dark Lord. Firstly, the most obvious thing is how intelligent he is, how I must accredit him for the way he sums up his questions on Severus’ loyalties. One does not become a nominee for ‘Evil Lord of the Century’ without being reasonably clever, and I much dislike it when authors describe him as nothing more than a mad-man. He’s insane, yes, but not in a blunt butcher’s way. The way you write him makes me think of Hannibal Lector, and for some reason he almost comes out an evil reflection of Dumbledore.
…which so conveniently leads me to the next thing I want to bring up from the quote. He mentions Dumbledore as “the old man”, which is simply descriptive, there is really nothing condescending about how he speaks. The late Headmaster might have been an “old fool” to Voldemort, but he still respected him (probably against his will?), and this shows in your writing. But most interesting is that Voldemort actually doesn’t speak Dumbledore’s name! Does he fear to do so? Does he in some way feel the same about the name of Dumbledore, like most of the wizarding world does about his own? Very interesting…I like how you’re giving McGonagall a hard time, with staff and students alike trying her patience. ‘“Please allow me to get through this evening with the minimum of fuss.”’ - so McGonagall, brilliant choice of words, perfect tone. Her first Welcoming Feast as Headmistress did not go smoothly, but she was not about to let anyone push her because she’s new in her position, nor was she going to give empty, fluffy words of comfort. ‘“Very well, what are you waiting for? Sit down and eat.”’ - I thought this was so sad, just so sad. She sounded so harsh, but I can see the heavy weight on her shoulders, how she doesn’t want to be there, how she would love to step aside for Albus, could he only come back. I fear all of this is going to make Minerva age a lot, just like I fear she will become even more stern and closed-up under all of this pressure. *sigh*
But on a much happier note - Roderick! :) Thank you, thank you, thank you! *huggles favourite bad-boy Auror* I didn’t dare hope for it, wasn’t sure how much of him you would offer in Severed Souls, but this position only becomes more suitable the more I think about it. You have yet again put him in a very flexible spot (and being much kinder to us readers than when he was supposedly dead!), free to bring forth whenever you have use for him. Yet there is nothing forced with him as DADA teacher – it makes sense from both Ministry and Hogwarts views.
I’m not going to repeat my compliments on Severus’ character in the Shrieking Shack, you already know I loved how he was written, how you presented so many layers of him and made them all believable. No, I was going to quote something:
‘“It’s possible, but inadvisable, that you could retrieve it alone. I think taking Potter with you is the best plan, considering he is so intent on fulfilling Dumbledore’s quest personally. He must not know that the information is coming from me; it could jeopardise the whole thing.”’ - I can’t help wondering about Severus’ reasoning here. He is, perhaps in an unkind way but still, showing faith in Harry when suggesting Maeve should take him along. Does Severus actually believe Harry has got the qualities to be useful on such a mission, or does he know something about Harry, something about his participation being important for success? (*is staring at her own words and shaking head* Did I just write that? Pardon me!)Hmpf, I’ve got no suggestions for improvement now, or any corrections to pester you with, since that’s already done. :) Now we just have to support the mods and coders, hoping that Chapter Eight will be up soon to gather all its little reviews around it.
Author's Response: Severus knows a lot more than he's ever likely to let on. Becuase of his position with both Dumbledore and Voldemort, he has access to a lot of information. How much of that information he passes on and how much he keeps to himself is anyone's guess! And he has a relationship of sorts with Maeve's father, who also has great faith in him. Severus is a dark horse in more ways than one in this story. Suffice it to say, Severus never does anything without having a sound reason for doing so. :-)
McGonagall has been a difficult character to pin down sometimes. It's hard to know how she will really react in this situation so I've had to take her places that Jo may not. I definately don't think she's got her finger on the pulse as much as Dumbledore did and that may be someone's undoing. She also has Percy to contend with at the moment.
Roderick is irrepressible. Everytime I think I've settled him down into a quiet role he pops back up again and has his time in the limelight. I had no idea the character would be so dominant, but I'm rather glad he is!
Thank you for your comments on Voldemort. I'm struggling with him for this fic. His motives seem to have become clouded in my mind and I'm having problems with him and Severus, so your comments have really helped to crystallize the character for me.
*Waits patiently for further reviews* *Takes textbooks off Anna*
I noticed that nothing very exciting happened, and it was a transition, but lots of it really seems important to the story. :) I wait anxiously for more!! :)
Author's Response: Thanks for the review, Cheslin... You have to bear with me on some of these transition chapters. I have a lot of people in a lot of locations and pulling them altogether can be time consuming.
Excellent chapter, although perhaps largely here to move the plot along instead of any great character revalations, it has a sense of purpose to it that pulls it together nicely. looking forward to the escapade and to seeing some more of roderick.
Author's Response: You're spot on! I felt that as I was writing it, it was definately a bridge between the opening chapter and Hogwarts. But it needed to be done and we are set up now for the next few chapters.
This is a really great chapter, Maeve's last thought leaves wondering if you employ foreshadowing. It makes it sound like Harry and Severus are going to run into each other sooner rather than later.
Author's Response: Foreshadowing? Oh, yes. I always use foreshadowing. :-) Thanks for continuing to review!
I realised now, when I sat down to do this review, that you have found a very effective way of shortening them. :) But there are still a few things I haven’t brought up, and some things I will repeat.
I’ll start with Severus. ‘He stroked a finger down her clear cheek.’ I mentioned in the last review, how you are giving us more and more of his emotions. Here is another sign of affection, something you have not rushed on, but let come slowly, when us readers were ready for it without starting to shout “OOC! OOC!”. So, well done and well placed in time. Plus, that I like his gesture in itself, taken out of context.
‘“I’ll contact you. Take very good care of yourself, for my sake.” He touched her face and gave her a smile. “And say sorry to Lupin for your earlier behaviour.”’ - this is really another example of what I just mentioned, that also gives us another proof of Severus’ love – something I’m beginning to adore. But also, it’s a hint of what Maeve is awaking in him, not just emotions but a fairness, a will to do what’s right. And not just the things he ‘has to’ do to live on, not just the most major things, but seemingly insignificant things like telling Maeve to apologize to Lupin. In fact, the more I look at the five last quoted sentences, the more I admire the clear but subtle change Severus is going through, being married to Maeve.‘The thought of wandering through Whitby with the crème de la crème of the Death Eaters on her tail wasn’t exactly her idea of a fun day at the seaside…’ - I both like the actual introduction of these new ‘princes’, and how you do it. They are frightening, I can’t deny that, but the ‘crème de la crème’ bit also adds a bit of humour. It sort of shows that Maeve has seen rough times, and although she realises the danger she’s not about to panic. Lovely.
‘“I’m here now to pay my respects and then I think I will de done with Hogwarts.”’ - ‘…done with Hogwarts’, it just makes me so sad. Going to school is an era supposed to end, but it breaks my heart. I think of how all stories must end, but how I want them to go on, and on, and on. I don’t want the Harry Potter series to be almost completed, I don’t want to think that Severed Souls will not go on forever. And I don’t want Remus to ‘be done with’ the castle. :( It also made me think of how Harry isn’t going back to Hogwarts, how he is forced away by his destiny.
On a completely different note, this is where I found that typo – it needs to be ‘be done with’, not ‘de done with’.Let’s continue a bit with Remus, even if I will be repeating myself. After Maeve’s bashing, I couldn’t help thinking it could have been such a typical man/woman scene, where she was angry and he didn’t understand a thing. But, even though Maeve was ‘marked’, I still thought there was reason behind her comments. Remus is trying to make his words sound like he only wishes to protect her, but his love for her is shining through, although I’m convinced he’s unaware of it. This love is not of the friendly type I approve of, but the variety he has got to let go off. I know it can’t be done on command, that wouldn’t be realistic, so even if I hate to see him like this I’m still going to have to give you credit for writing it. Also, he’s much better towards the end of the chapter, actually back at the stage where I only want to kiss and cuddle him. So, his character will move on to the next chapter on a high.
Oooh, dearest McGonagall! Firstly, she makes me jump by going ‘“Ah, Professor Snape.”’, I was totally in on Harry’s reaction even though Maeve’s surname was just discussed in the text. Then, you give me such a clear picture of her current state. She’s turning into quite the Headmistress already, appointing teachers and manipulating Maeve. But at the same time her sadness is shining through, she’s human, she never wished to be put in this demanding position, and she misses Dumbledore. *sigh* I like the words around the new teachers as well, especially I like the name ‘Aileen’. ;) You keep the readers guessing on the DADA teacher, nice.
I’ve said already about Filch, and now I’m saying it again – gross! I’m glad that you gave me this thinker, about his relationship to Dumbledore… There is both canon to ponder, and Filch all through DoL, but it comes down to pretty much the same thing. I expected him to be sad about the Headmaster’s passing, but you corrected that thought – when did he ever agree with Dumbledore, when did he ever say a good word about him? Still, Dumbledore kept him as the caretaker… Yes, things to ponder on, indeed. And:
‘“He knows a lot about Hogwarts though, an awful out about Hogwarts.”’ - something that could be useful, perhaps? And oh, this is where I found the second mistake, it needs to be ‘an awful lot’, not ‘an awful out’.There! If I say anymore I will only be repeating myself. Lovely chapter, all things moving forward at a pace I feel very comfortable with.
Author's Response: Hee hee, 50 chapters later and I think I can finally have Severus showing a bit of tenderness towards his wife. He's finally realising that he could have a better life and that what has gone before has been a waste and a mess. He's not letting go of his powerlust, but it's being watered down by his relationship with his wife. I also hadn't anticpated Remus being around as much in these openers, but it was a good opportunity to get this latent love for Maeve out into the open...for him at least.
Going back to Hogwarts had to happen, although when I first started I hadn't planned on spending quite so much time there. I certainly hadn't imagined Maeve going back as a teacher. But as parts of the plot formed I knew she would have to go back there... and in the next chapter we will begin to see why they need to be there. And McGonagall is very much Dumbledore's deputy. She can be as manipulative and as cagey as the late headmaster...something I think I'm going to enjoy playing with. She is a huge character in the series and yet I don't think she's ever really come to the fore.
And Filch...well we haven't finished with Filch yet...creepy little man!!
I was so happy when remus and maeve made up! but i thought this chapter was a bit more sinister with the death eaters watching her. i wonder who the new prince is?? There is always something new in your chapters!!
Author's Response: You know...I've only just figured out who the New Prince is myself! But he'll be around until the end!
Yay, another chapter. Submissions have been going a lot more quickly, havent they. Anyway, great chapter (and the same goes for the last one, which i didn't get around to reviewing). So Mave's gonna help harry with a horcrux??? That should be interesting!
Author's Response: I've just written the first Horcrux chapter and I hope you find it interesting. It doesn't quite go to Harry's plan! ;-)
Wow. This is a really great chapter. Why didn't Maeve remember being snippy with Remus? Despite his insistance, it doesn't look like he really believes Maeve might be right about Severus.
Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing, NaginiFay! Maeve doesn't remember what was going on with Remus because she was a little under the influence of a bad encounter with something nasty. And we'll have to wait to see what Remus really believes. :-)
Wow, what a reunion. It had everything. Anger, romance, fear, acussations. And you continue to torture Remus with the woman he cannot have. I think that's been one of the major parts of this story and I'm glad you haven't given up on it. The guest house was cute and I want to give Doris the flamingo a good home!!
Author's Response: Thank you for the review. Yes, it was quite a reunion and I'm sorry for what I do to Remus...but he's a very forgiving man. :-)
mrsgeorgeweasley said it all, and much more brilliantly than I could! This chapter was fantastic! The tinge of humor really brightened up a sorrowful story. Poor Remus (although I think Malcolm is a lovely name). The scene with Meave and Severus was perfect. You can really see the love he has for her.
Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! Remus could turn any name into a lovely name. :-)
I knew their meeting was going to be great and it was!!! Maeve and snape are such a great couple that even when you had snape pushing her into that tree I didnt believe he was going to hurt her.Loved remus being called malcolm and all that pink and i felt like hugging him when he had to sleep in the same bed.
Author's Response: I know... Poor Remus having to share that bed! Thanks for the review.
I managed to keep myself awake into the wee small hours of the morning just so i could read this chapter, that's how desperate i was to see it. Was it worth it? You know it was!
I was right about the town and it always makes me happy when i'm right. Your descriptions of the scenery were excellent, as always, and i'd like to stand in line with Fantasium to buy a travel book by you. Your attention to detail is mind boggling and really does make me want to go and see all the places that you describe.
Calling the interior of the hotel as a 'candyfloss explosion' really tickled me, as did all the things you said about the hotel, i was tickled pink! (oh the irony!). Poor Remus had to suffer twice in the one night, a Malcolm indeed, and being stuck in bed beside the woman you're desperately in love with but can't have? That was sheer cruelty on your part, and even if Remus does forgive you for it; I'm not sure that i could.
The scene at Hogwarts really made me want to cry. I think that was mostly down to McGonagall, she's usually quite a thorny thistle and there she was wrought with emotion. It was just so touching and emotionally charged.
The scene between Maeve and Snape was spectacularly done, it was something that i had been looking forward to and i was not disappointed. You kept Snape very true to form, but showed his dedication to Maeve very well. I was delighted to know that Narcissa had lied, if it had been true it would have crushed Maeve. Your explanation of Regulus being R.A.B was great and i really liked the way Snape talked about him. Draco's reaction to Maeve's presence was no less arrogant than i would have expected it to be and i was delighted when Snape brought him down a couple of pegs.
The line in the chapter that really caught me and took my breath away was the following, '...splinter of sorrow chipping at his heart.' When i read that i just thought wow, that is an amazing peice of imagery that really caught my breath. You continue to surpass your previous excellence with every chapter and i only wish that i had the same way with words. I can't wait to read the next chapter, it should be wonderful!
Author's Response: Hee hee... Remus has a lot not to forgive me for, poor man. Once I'm done with him he'll need a year-long holiday in the Bahamas to recover!
Professor McGonagall is a thorny character indeed, and sometimes very hard to capture correctly. I wanted her to get emotional, because she does it so little. The scene with Maeve and Severus was very emotional to write. And yes, had Severus confirmed what Narcissa had told her she would have been totally crushed by it. I think she would rather have Snape the Murderer than Snape the Adulterer.
*clap, clap, clap* Good Stuff!
I'm sorry that it took me so long to get around to reading this chapter it's been a busy week and it isn't letting up so i won't be able to read chp 5 just yet either.
Back on topic though, this was a great chapter, it was full of the things that i love most about your writing, scenery and emotion. You articulate both so well that i feel like i'm standing in the scene with the characters. Like Harriet Evans i'm fairly certain i know where you're describing for the hideout place.
I'd like to let you in on a little secret. Just recently a friend of mine asked if i had any recomendations for fanfics, almost instantly i suggested yours. When she asked me why, i gave her a bit of a shock when i pronounced 'I know this is going to sound very dramatic but, i think she's better than JKR!' There were gasps of shock all round but i stand by that statement, you are a spectacular writer, and every chapter that i read makes me realize more and more just how lucky i am to have your input in my story. This is a beautiful fic and i love every word! 10
Author's Response: *Blushes* *Wishes she really were better than Jo...because then she'd have her bank balance* :-)
Thanks for your continued support...it's great to have your input into my story via your reviews. :-)
Well, I hope that no one called Malcolm is going to be reading this... but then, they probably wouldn't, would they? The chapter was beautifully balanced between the three sections. I loved the descriptions of the harbour and their arrival on the cliff tops. I continue to be impressed by Maeve's style of travelling (have you coined a name for it?) it seems so ramantic to be blown along on the breeze. The section in the hotel was good, with some lovely humour. I liked the way you used the old 'being forced to share a room' cliche, but turned it around and made it seem quite poignant, from Remus' point of view. I could imagine how it must have felt to have Maeve so oblivious to his feelings. I loved your extension of the idea of Patronuses and how they led Maeve to Snape's hideout. Malfoy was exactly as I would have imagined him. Petulant boy, brought down to size by Snape. The scene between Maeve and Snape was very moving. You made it seem very convincing that he had an agreement with Dumbledore - but then, I'm already sold on that idea! Well done, I enjoyed it as much as ever.
Author's Response: Hee hee... I hope all Malcolms out there will forgive me. Malcolm is just one of those names that seems to be used for comic value. :-) I haven't really thought of a name for her new mode of transport... I suppose I ought to really! The patronuses have been giving me some trouble. Jo has been so vague about them that it's difficult to really get to grips with them. So I'm making it up as I go along with them at the moment. And Draco needs some developing... We will definately see more of him, but whether he will finally mature beyond petualant boy...well...you'll have to keep reading. ;-) Thanks for the review!
“For the first time she felt tangible fear of him, felt the power of what he could do to her if he chose, and she regretted leaving Remus back at Harbour View, regretted her faith in her husband, wondered if she would die here with no one to know that she had found her nemesis in her own kin.” Oddly enough, I think this is my favorite sentence of this chapter. I love the moment of doubt. It follows nicely from Maeve’s expression of jealousy and humanizes her, reminding us that she doesn’t follow her husband blindly; the two of them have a connection that you have worked many, many chapters to establish and nurture, and a connection that Severus disrupted when he abandoned her to once again act the victim of the machinations that rule his life. (Another odd thought: Snape as victim!) This moment of doubt also makes their reconciliation moments later that much more sweet—as if it wasn’t moving enough . I also really enjoyed the moment of almost, but not quite, vulnerability on Severus’ side. The reader couldn’t help but want to reach out to him. What a magnificent couple your protagonists make!
Author's Response: Thank you! Maeve's been so steadfast in her trust of Snape throughout the whole story and until that moment she never believed he would do anything to physically harm her...and then he gives her a moment of doubt. I thought she needed that little reality check. And, of course, she was wrong....Severus would never hurt her. :-) I like VictimSnape... everyone believes he's either evil or Machiavellian or selfish...I think he was weak in his early life and is now paying for it, Life's just going to get harder in this story for poor Severus! Thanks for the review. :-)
Brilliant chapter, Everything i wanted in a Snape/Maeve reunion. I loved the imagery of Maeve following the two patronuses to her husband and i liked your explanations of RAB, Snapes side of things, Narcissa etcetc. Excellent descriptive passages as always.
Author's Response: Thanks! I was worried about the reunion because it was going to be quite important from the main character's POV....so I'm glad you liked it.
(EDIT: Oooh, first review posted as a SPEWer, I can’t believe it!)
I won’t apologize for the increasing length of my reviews – what am I suppose to do when the chapters are so long, so amazingly filled with treats for us readers? No, I’m afraid that as long as there’s so much to comment on, the reviews will remain exhausting. Let’s see how short I can keep this one, shall we? :)
I’ll start right off with a Remus quote: ‘Sometimes I am glad I’m not married to you.’ - when he said it, I just read it the complete opposite way, like ‘But the rest of the time, it breaks my heart that I’m not.’As for your descriptions of scenery and setting in this chapter, I was struck by the thought that you could write the most fantastic travel books ever. I so badly want to go and visit all the places you’ve described (maybe not Spinner’s End, but…), and I bet other people would do as well. But don’t worry, I’m not suggesting it, I wouldn’t have anything stealing time from Severed Souls or original novels of yours, but you could most definitely do it.
Poor Remus. Firstly, the Malcolm bit. ‘“Yes, I can imagine you would, but then you’re called Malcolm. Come!”’ - *snort*. I would be hopeless on a mission like that, because I would only feel so bad for Remus, that I would step up and say, ‘No, he’s not called Malcolm, you silly woman!’.
And then it get seven worse: ‘And Remus had to accept the fact that in order to get a few decent hours’ sleep he would have to lie on a bed next to Maeve and attempt to sleep. He wasn’t convinced it would be that easy with the smell of her hair just a few inches from his nose, but he resolved to try.’ The already fragile Remus-part of my heart simply shatters. I feel SO SORRY for him. It’s absolutely not that I think Maeve should choose him instead, that’s not even a possibility, but my insides still ache for him. I liked the thoughts of his time in France with Felicia, how her presence made him feel old. It’s very true. Attraction is never enough, nor is the fact that it would be ‘suitable’. There has to be a connection, like Remus has with Maeve. With only the tiny problem that she’s got an even stronger one with Severus.
How many authors introduce such a fitting female characters, and then does not use her as a salvation? Well, I haven’t seen one. It’s always that unexpected, somehow perfect girl appearing at the right time, saving the male character. But that’s not how the world works. I don’t know if you had originally intended to put Felicia and Remus together, but I’m glad you didn’t. Not because I like to see him suffer, but because the detail makes the story even more real.
But there is not just a werewolf to feel sorry for, there is one that made me cheer loudly as well: ‘Still, it was better than chasing a pack of werewolves around France.’ - Yay! For the brave, mighty and independent man! Remus was never useless like I accused him of being, (well, he was at some points), but admirable and strong. *is falling in love with Remus*I’ll jump to Harry and McGonagall at Hogwarts. I was on the verge of tears when they were in the office, looking at Dumbledore’s portrait. But that wasn’t particularly what struck me. It’s a fact that I’m a very emotional person, I can’t read obituary notes without crying and I regularly need tissues when I watch films. But Daughter of Light or Severed Souls have actually never had me crying, I realised. I pondered on it, and realised that it was because none of my favourite characters (apart from Dumbledore, and I kind of saw that coming) has been killed off. This frightens me to no end, because I don’t want to think about what that you’ve got in store for ‘Final Battle’ time. Don’t you dare kill Severus, Harry or Remus! I feel quite confident that Maeve will survive, don’t ask me why, but please leave my fav men alive! We could take… Ron, perhaps? instead. I’d cry for him too, but I could live with it.
And so, I’ve rambled my way up to the long-awaited reunion of husband and wife. *sigh* Maybe it was obvious, but I was still a bit pleased with myself for foreseeing the non-composed (I was about to write ‘decomposed’ for a second) Maeve.
The whole scene was just terrific! It left nothing to ask for. And the embrace… *sigh* I was pleasantly surprised to discover you writing such a similar thing between Remus and Severus, that they’re both so unhappy with Maeve’s mistrust in them. I’m so glad that the conversation turned almost instantly to the question of Severus’ fidelity. Maeve might have pretended that it didn’t disturb her so much, but it was clear that it did. I try to picture myself in the situation, and I know that’s what would pop up at once, even if I had the best intentions of not mentioning it. Jealousy is such a complex emotion, and you use it so well in the story; Remus is jealous of Severus for having Maeve, Harry was jealous of the attention Severus gets, and Maeve is not above this, she’s insecure enough to be jealous of Narcissa.I like the fact that we have come to a point in the story where we are allowed to see more human emotions from Severus’ side. I think the timing is great, Snape and emotions are difficult things to combine and you are probably the one person who does it best, and certainly the person who does it to the greatest extent. When I sit and ponder on the phenomenon, it’s amazing really how you manage it, it’s like you’re building this thing which I would expect to be a rickety card house ready to collapse any second, but instead you manage a rock steady brick house of Severus.
‘Perhaps the woman at his side was part of the reason for this escalating discontent; perhaps he was just growing more conscious of time running through his life-stained fingers in a steady spill of wasted years.’ - *breathless* That was perfect, there’s no other word for it.
As for Draco, his appearance made me think more of your writing skill than anything else. It’s like little knots you’re tying, and they all fit together. You weave a complex pattern, where nothing ever happens without reason, or even just for one reason. Maeve has helped protect Narcissa, and now it serves as a perfect argument why Draco should, if not trust her, then at least accept her presence. (I’ve read Sins of the Father, so at the moment all mentions of Draco makes me shudder.)
I found only one thing to annoy you about: ‘The front door of 15a was much prettier than the door of its companion below, tiny pink roses coiled around the frame and the number was stencilled in cerise on the cream paint. Tiny crystals swung in the breeze, tinkling gently at their arrival.’ - I might be turning into a repetition nazi here, but I’m under the impression that you want me to point them out. So, maybe it would be a good idea to change one of the ‘tiny’s?
*looking at review above* Well, that wasn’t too long, was it? :) And now I’m both in love with Remus, and even more fond of the Severus/Maeve relationship. I’m looking forward to Chapter Six like a child just before Christmas, and I’m overly excited about just how I’m going to get to read it. Thank for another wonderful chapter, Jan! (I’m very proud to be calling you by proper first name, btw.)
Author's Response: Well, I do like reading travel books -- the more humourous the better. Wouldn't it be fantastic to get paid to travel and write about it! Whitby is a place I've spent quite a few happy afternons in and it seemed like the perfect place to have Severus hide.
I wasn't sure about Felicia. I needed her atthe end of DoL to lighten the mood at the wedding and give Remus the possibility. But I decided there was no place for her as a main part in this story so, for the moment, have no plans to include her. But I felt that she needed to be mentioned, if only in passing.
*Pencils in Ron's death scene towards the end* Only joking!!
I think we are, naturally, going to see more of Severus in this story... and we saw a lot of him in DoL...but even I hadn't anticipated just how much, especially in the early stages. You see, he knows so much. In terms of the story he has always known more than anyone else... I realise some people don't agree with me but I think Severus has the potential to be the most powerful wizard we have now that DD is dead. And of course a man with such a tight rein on his emotions is bound to crack at some point. There'll be a steady decline for Severus in terms of his self-control were Mave is cocerned... a decline that you've already glimpsed.
As for Draco, we'll have to keep a clsoe eye on Draco!
I loved that Narcissa ran away from the cow, a light moment to brighten up a rather dark tale. Another wonderful chapter!
Author's Response: Thanks for continuing to review! Yes, I felt we needed a few lighter moments... and Narcissa is perfect for providing them. :-)
Madam Marb was a delight...shades of the beauty consultants you mentioned to me? LOL With a flamingo, no less. Perfect color! The bickering about the name Malcolm was hysterical. Poor Maeve...she was really more concerned by possible infidelity than murder! I guess it's because she was so sure of his 'innocence', so to speak. Why would Narcissa have lied about that? Just to get an upper hand? Jealousy? Snapes despair after finding out the Horcrux was a fake and it had all been a waste was very nicely written. But then, all of this is.
Author's Response: Yeah, the thought about Snape being hit hard by the fact the Horcrux was a fake hit me as I was writing it. He would have killed DD for nothing... and you can imagine what the would do to someone. And I want to adopt Doris! LOL Thanks for the review. :-)