Name: lucid_dreamer (Signed) · Date: 07/28/09 8:43 · For: Letters and Parcels

woohoo for updates! I love this story, it's different for your typical H/G R/Hr... lots of uncertainty... can't wait to see who you killed Strangely, I have never like Parvati until I read this story, and though I really wait Harry and Ginny together, I really don't want to see Parvati die. Can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you for the review! :)

Name: Sunset_Gazer (Signed) · Date: 07/25/09 20:14 · For: Prologue

Excellent story! I'm really intrigued about the murderer's identity, and I just can't wait for Harry and Ginny to get together :)

Update as soon as possible, please!! :D

Name: F1reb0lt37 (Signed) · Date: 07/25/09 11:51 · For: Letters and Parcels

Really good fic so far. Keep it up!

Name: Luna_Lover (Signed) · Date: 07/24/09 14:03 · For: Prologue

Hello, Pooja! I’ve come back for more of your writing. This story’s summary intrigued me when I first came to your author page, but I was hesitant to embark on a WIP because I never seem to have time to catch up with them; just ask Whit. >.< I still want to read this, though, and I’m hoping that reading a story with a murder case in it will help me with the murder mystery Bookbasilisk challenge, for which my muse is drawing a blank. I was intrigued further by the chapter notes for this prologue, which told me I would be learning a lot culture-wise as well. So here we go!

I’m intrigued by this prologue because it places familiar characters in an unfamiliar setting, and it’s unexplained as of yet how they got there. Of course that’s the whole point, so what I’m saying is that it works well. :)

I’m confused as to why the bride’s side was wearing Christian dress, while the bridegroom’s side was in Hindu dress, since it’s backwards from Parvati and Harry’s cultural backgrounds. It’s a nice idea that they should embrace one another’s culture, but it seems like it would take a lot of effort and coordination to, say, get all of Harry’s friends to buy saris and sherwanis for the occasion. For the wedding party exclusively, yes, but for all of the guests? Or am I reading it wrong?

I enjoyed the description of the wedding, although I did wonder why Harry kissed Parvati only on the cheek after saying their Christian vows. Did something in Parvati’s heritage prevent him from kissing her on the lips? Perhaps I’m reading too much into things.

I think you do a good job of describing the ceremony, something which might be difficult to envision, but thanks to you, I can do it. :) I’m excited to read on and find out a bit more about what brought the characters to this point, and where they will go from here.

Nice work, Pooja!
~LiLu

Name: Hedwig_is_my_owl (Signed) · Date: 07/23/09 17:45 · For: Letters and Parcels

hahahah, ok...I just figured it out...you're pretty sneaky, you are :)

Author's Response: LOL. Thanks!!! But really, this doesn't mean anything YET. You haven't read the next chapter... or the chapter after that (which I just finished last night :D) so you have no idea. Be prepared for heart attacks in the next few chapters. *Provides cardiac massage from her side*

Name: mugglenetaddict813 (Signed) · Date: 07/22/09 15:47 · For: Letters and Parcels

Okay so the Ron and Hermione fighting thing is really driving me crazy! I'm defnitely a BIG Ron/Hermione fan, so them not being together has really bugged me. I mean, I definitely see problems on both ends, but can you just get them back together already?? lol Sorry! Had to vent a little bit there. :) Anyway, I definitely have loved this story from the beginning, and even though it's so different from normal HP cannon, it's a very compelling story. LIke in the last chapter, I found myself gasping when I learned that Daisy poisoned Hermione (well, it was supposed to be Parvati). I also held my breath when Harry and Ginny almost kissed! So, what I'm trying to say is . . . I love the story! Update soon! :)

Author's Response: Aw... you must explain this tyo Ron and Hermione, really :D. Haha. Okay... they're too stubborn to be convinced, actually. I feel like kicking them both. Oh, and thanks for your compliments! I know that I've sorta thrown Canon away in this one... :p I'm glad you like this story so much. Next chapter is with Beta and I'll update as soon as she returns it ;)

Name: Dragons_Hide (Signed) · Date: 07/22/09 7:38 · For: Letters and Parcels

Oh you didn't kill her. Thats just not right she was so sweet.

Author's Response: O.o I'll just say... read the next chapter when it comes ;) Thanks for your review! :D

Name: Sternbetrachter (Signed) · Date: 07/21/09 13:41 · For: Letters and Parcels

I admit, I am not a big fan of Hermione right now

Author's Response: Hehe, you really have no idea of what she's going through... so don't hate her! :)

Name: Hedwig_is_my_owl (Signed) · Date: 07/21/09 12:35 · For: Letters and Parcels

oh goodness...Please tell me that Parvati did not die =( This is so sad.....(and I don't even know for sure that it was Parvati that they are talking about here!)

Author's Response: Okay, I'll tell you: Parvati did not die. But that may not be what happened in the fic. :p Actually, if you read the end carefully, you'll have the answer yourself, my Beta made out in a jiffy :D Thanks for reviewing!

Name: inspirations (Signed) · Date: 07/06/09 12:50 · For: The New Case

Hey, Pooja! Well, you’re the featured author in our house this month [yay!] and it gave me the idea to come read more of your WIP. I can’t wait till I reach the chapters with your OCs Chris and Daisy in. I think they’re some of the first character threads I ever commented on, so of course they intrigue me. Anyway... your chapter one.

I like how Harry is obviously still in love with Ginny [and vice versa] yet he’s gone and married Parvati because of what she’s done for him, and they’ve had a child together. This is bound to make the rest of the story more complex where relationships are concerned, especially as everyone’ll be living together! I feel sorry for Parvati though, because I have a feeling Harry and Ginny will somehow fall into each other’s arms [being that the category is part Harry/Ginny ;p] but your portrayal of Parvati is so lovely! And if Harry and Ginny don’t end up together, then Harry still seems to love Ginny more. Parvati obviously cares a lot about Harry, and she just wants the best for him. And, besides that, she’s a really friendly person from what we’ve seen of her.

From that, when I read the prologue I thought Harry and Parvati were deeply in love with each other, but from the first chapter I’ve learnt so much about their relationship already. Your Harry is well done. He’s acting the hero whether he realises it or not, just because he’s married Parvati and he’s very much in a stubborn denial about his love for Ginny.

Naina is so cute! Immediately you can see that she has a very good relationship with both of her parents, and her home life is comfortable. Harry and Parvati seem to care about her a lot, and I love the family dynamics you have going on between the three. The alphabet scene was very well done, and I found myself grinning real widely because I could visualise it so well.

Now, I’m not sure whether this is just me being slow, but the beginning of the chapter confused me a bit. Are they doing an assault course as part of their Auror training? At first I thought they were actually fighting a Death Eater, but that was soon cleared up for me, but then the boggart came out of nowhere... It was a nice action-packed start, and it really grabbed my attention, but, as I said, I was slightly confused.

After that, I found it a bit unrealistic when Ron just made hot chocolate appear. It seemed too easy, considering how the trio lived in DH. Maybe have him summon it or something?

I really liked the kind of companionship between Ron and Harry. You did a good job of showing what good friends they are, just in their speech to each other and such. My only nit-pick for how they addressed each other was that it was a lot of ‘mate’. That gets a bit repetitive after a while, and I would consider including the word ‘mate’ less, as when it’s often used it loses some of its impact.

When Harry and Ron are being told about the murders, I find it a bit odd that the note is assumed as being by a ‘she’ by the word ‘want’. To me, ‘want’ in this sense would mean more than the Aurors are assuming. I just don’t think an Auror would overlook all of the possibilities.

A few nit-picks:

said Ron and within a few seconds - I think a comma is needed after the name?

“Yeah, I think so.” Harry replied. - should be so,”.

That’s what we are supposed to do - how about ‘we’re’ instead of ‘we are’? I find contractions sound more natural in direct speech.

Hi Harry - you’ve made this error a few times, but it’s nothing major. Basically, when somebody addresses somebody else, have a comma before the name of the person they’re talking to. So, here, it should be ‘Hi, Harry’.

not getting his eyes off Ginny - ‘not taking’?


Only other nit-pick is this bit of dialogue between Ginny and Hermione:

“Hi,” greeted Ginny, managing a smile. “Good to see you. How are you?”

“I’m fine. What about you?”

“I’m fine, thank you. But are you absolutely sure that you’re fine?”

If you go back and look at it, you’ll see that the order has gone awry somewhere :p In theory, Ginny’s saying the last line, too, but that doesn’t make sense to me when you read the whole block of text together. :/ Also, I got the impression Ginny hadn’t seen her family for a while, yet the two women talk as if they’d only seen each other yesterday or something. If I’m wrong about any considerable time gaps since they last met, please disregard this, but I think they’d both be a bit more enthusiastic if they hadn’t seen each other for a while. Maybe have them hug or something? Again, disregard if I interpreted wrong.

Overall, though, lovely chapter. You’ve set up a good basis to develop your story on, as you’ve left some ideas to think about, such as where Harry’s love truly lies and how he’ll handle it, and how Harry will react to his party, etc.

Lovely story so far, love! xox

Author's Response: Aw Spire... *huggles*. Thank you so much for this lovely review! Chris and Daisy come much later, though, Daisy in chapter 5 and Chris is chapter 7, I think. Anyway. I'm glad you like the family dynamics and the character settings :). About the dummies at the start, it was training. It was just like an assault course, which included a Boggart to see how they tackled it. And Ron conjuring the chocolate-- thanks for pointing that out! I'll correct it immediately. I wasn't aware of the Gamp's laws when this was written, actually, because I wrote this chapter in April, 2007. DH was released in July, 2007. ;) I'll just go and let him summon it. As for the 'mate' troubles... *kills self* I just noticed it. Thanks for telling me! And about the Auror assumptions, I'll see what I can do. Yeah, it's not the complete story the Aurors are getting there, though ;). Obsession... LOL. As for the dialogues, thanks for the nit-picks! I see I've left out quite a few things unattended there. I'll just go correct it now. That dialogue between Ginny and Hermione has been messed up, yes. I just noticed it right now. O.o Oh, I so love such constructive criticism, Spire, you made my day! Do post in the Bar soon, I miss you! Thanks for the review! :)

Name: Hedwig_is_my_owl (Signed) · Date: 07/03/09 23:54 · For: Poison

So, I know you want Ron for yourself *grin* but you can't let him and Hermione get a divorce!!! That's just bananas!!! Last chapter, I thought it was Parineeta...this chapter sounded like it was Daisy :)...I s'pose I will have to wait and find out, huh?

Author's Response: Hehe. No deal. I keep Ron :D. Anyway... just wait and watch, I'd say... ;). Ooh, and no one suspects Rebecca? Or Chris? Or Romilda? Or Irene? Or Ginny? :D It could be Parvati too, you know... *smirks* LOL. Thanks for the review! :)

Name: Sternbetrachter (Signed) · Date: 07/02/09 11:45 · For: Poison

oh wow, didn't expect this ending - update soon please

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! :)

Name: Dragons_Hide (Signed) · Date: 07/02/09 7:51 · For: Poison

Waiting anxiously for the next chapter. This just keeps getting better and better

Author's Response: Thank you! Update coming soon! :)

Name: AnotherDayAnotherDrama (Signed) · Date: 07/01/09 21:18 · For: Poison

ok, love the story, it my favorite! ;D I think that Chris asked Daisy to marry him then changed this mind, and i think that eather Perittena or Daisy is the killer. update sooooon plz!

Author's Response: Thank you! And Chris asked Daisy to marry him? Hmm... ;) As for the killer, *grins and winks*. Thank you for telling me your views! And the next chapter has been sent to my Beta :).

Name: Dragons_Hide (Signed) · Date: 06/25/09 18:53 · For: Halloween Scare

Oh thats just not right! Hurry along with the next chapter

Author's Response: The next chapter is with my Beta. I'll post it as soon as my mistakes are sorted! Thank you! :)

Name: Windy Silvermist (Signed) · Date: 06/21/09 16:39 · For: Halloween Scare

AAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That was not nice. YOU NO KILL HERMY!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Windy says no kill kill hermy

Author's Response: :D Sure, dear, you'll know about Hermione in due time. Just stay on! :)

Name: in love with harry (Signed) · Date: 06/20/09 11:53 · For: Halloween Scare

wow suspence

Author's Response: :D. Thank you for reviewing!

Name: Hedwig_is_my_owl (Signed) · Date: 06/20/09 8:29 · For: Halloween Scare

Oh goodness! NOT HERMIONE!!!!! Someone find a bezoar quick and shove it down her throat *SIGH*

Evil Evil Evil...cliffie like that...oh my goodness....

Pleast update soon!!! *twiddling fingers in anxiety that Hermione is dying*

Author's Response: Sure! Update speeding... only, I have a small writer's block. It's taking a bit of time to type that part through. >.< And bezoar? I don't think so... no one's doing any such thing ;). Thanks for your regular reviews! *hugs*

Name: Windy Silvermist (Signed) · Date: 06/12/09 13:02 · For: Uh-Oh!

Ron ruler of all prats, wait ago man wait ago

Author's Response: Thank you for your review! :)

Name: Sternbetrachter (Signed) · Date: 05/10/09 14:11 · For: Shattered

yeah people, blame it all on Ronald, why don't you

Author's Response: Hehe, this is Teh Wicked Plot of Teh Awesome-ness (me). I want Ron for myself, see? :D Thanks for the review!