Name: qqqqqing (Signed) · Date: 04/07/17 19:08 · For: Chapter 2

qqqqqing20170408cheap ray ban sunglasses
louis vuitton handbags
longchamp outlet
michael kors
louis vuitton online
coach factory outlet online
nike outlet store online
rolex watches
longchamp outlet
nike trainers
coach outlet online
louis vuitton handbags
links of london
coach outlet online
cheap soccer jerseys
michael kors outlet
kate spade handbags
jerseys wholesale
gucci handbags
new balance outlet
rolex watches
nike shoes
louis vuitton outlet stores
polo ralph lauren
ferragamo shoes
yeezy boost 350
michael kors
true religion jeans
tory burch outlet
louis vuitton bags
mcm outlet
ferragamo outlet
nike air max 90
oakley sunglasses
cheap jordans
tory burch outlet online
thomas sabo
ralph lauren polo
polo ralph lauren
sac louis vuitton pas cher
michael kors uk
kevin durant shoes
true religion canada
louis vuitton outlet store
nike trainers
nike blazer pas cher
true religion jeans
tory burch shoes
replica watches
bottega veneta outlet
michael kors outlet clearance
michael kors uk
louis vuitton outlet
oakley sunglasses
coach outlet
cheap jerseys wholesale
basketball shoes,basketball sneakers,lebron james shoes,sports shoes,kobe bryant shoes,kobe sneakers,nike basketball shoes,running shoes,mens sport shoes,nike shoes
roshe run
nike air huarache
cheap ray ban sunglasses
cheap oakley sunglasses
burberry outlet sale
ferragamo shoes
ray ban wayfarer
coach outlet online
mbt shoes
gucci bags
polo outlet online
louis vuitton outlet
true religion uk
oakley sunglasses
thomas sabo charms
coach outlet online
ray-ban sunglasses
coach factory outlet
cartier watches
juicy couture outlet
adidas nmd
true religion outlet
michael kors handbags
nike outlet store
chrome hearts outlet
iphone case uk
tory burch outlet
michael kors canada
true religion jeans
cheap nba jerseys
oakley sunglasses
cartier outlet
nike outlet
michael kors handbags
michael kors
michael kors
ray ban sunglasses outlet
vans shoes
ecco shoes
michael kors handbags
ralph lauren uk
beats by dr dre
tory burch outlet online
coach outlet clearance
coach outlet
michael kors outlet clearance
supra shoes
prada handbags
polo outlet stores
louis vuitton pas cher
ralph lauren polo
nba jerseys
christian louboutin outlet
gucci outlet
nba jerseys
ralph lauren outlet
rolex watches,rolex replica watches,replica rolex watches,replica watches
ralph lauren
louis vuitton outlet
coach outlet
mulberry bags
asics,asics israel,asics shoes,asics running shoes,asics israel,asics gel,asics running,asics gel nimbus,asics gel kayano
pandora jewellery
lacoste polo shirts
ferragamo shoes sale
louis vuitton
coach factory outlet
louis vuitton outlet online
longchamp outlet
ferragamo outlet
true religion outlet uk
ed hardy tshirts
kobe bryants shoes
gucci outlet
cartier watches for sale
gucci outlet online
air max 90
coach outlet
adidas nmd runner
oakley sunglasses wholesale
polo ralph lauren
louis vuitton
polo ralph lauren outlet
nike foamposite
coach outlet clearance
michael kors handbags
christian louboutin outlet
michael kors outlet online
polo ralph lauren outlet
nike shoes for women
prada sunglasses
oakley sunglasses
reebok trainers
cartier watches
tods outlet online
fitflops sale clearance
louis vuitton outlet
ferragamo shoes
louis vuitton outlet
coach outlet
polo ralph lauren outlet
michael kors outlet online
coach outlet online
michael kors handbags
nike air max
michael kors outlet clearance
coach outlet online
michael kors outlet clearance
polo outlet
louis vuitton handbags
oakley sunglasses wholesale
coach outlet
ray ban sunglasses
swarovski uk
oakley sunglasses
omega watches
hermes outlet
fitflops
nike huarache
louis vuitton outlet
longchamp outlet online
mulberry handbags
air max 90
hollister clothing
oakley sunglasses
true religion jeans
michael kors outlet clearance
coach outlet
burberry outlet store
pandora charms
montblanc pens
ray bans
michael kors handbags
michael kors outlet online
reebok shoes
ralph lauren outlet
ralph lauren polo
air jordan 4
louis vuitton outlet
mont blanc pens
ray bans
kate spade uk
mulberry handbags
louis vuitton handbags
michael kors handbags outlet
ralph lauren outlet
cheap jordans
louis vuitton
polo ralph lauren outlet
ralph lauren outlet
beats headphones
true religion jeans
true religion jeans
louis vuitton
rolex orologi
converse shoes sale
louis vuitton outlet stores
polo pas cher
camisetas futbol baratas
mbt shoes outlet
cleveland cavaliers jerseys
borse gucci
nike store
louis vuitton handbags
chrome hearts
coach outlet online coach factory outlet
valentino shoes
nike soccer shoes
coach factory outlet
christian louboutin
coach outlet online coach factory outlet
true religion jeans
cheap oakley sunglasses
coach outlet online
ray-ban sunglasses
giuseppe zanotti outlet
kate spade handbags
ralph lauren
christian louboutin uk
oakley sunglasses
kobe shoes
mulberry bags
hollister shirts
reebok shoes
adidas nmd runner
coach outlet online
nfl jersey wholesale
michael kors handbags clearance
soccer jerseys wholesale
louis vuitton outlet
michael kors outlet
polo outlet store
polo outlet
cheap oakley sunglasses
los angeles lakers jerseys
coach outlet online
longchamp outlet
longchamp handbags
nba jerseys wholesale
michael kors outlet
ralph lauren outlet
michael kors outlet online
michael kors handbags
salomon shoes
michael kors outlet clearance
hollister
michael kors outlet online
hollister clothing
louis vuitton outlet stores
snapbacks wholesale
oakley sunglasses
jordan shoes
mulberry outlet
air max 90
rolex outlet
nhl jerseys
cheap replica watches
true religion jeans
Basketball Shoes
ray ban sunglasses
kobe 9
michael kors outlet online
chrome hearts
tods outlet
basketball shoes
prada outlet online
coach handbags
ralph lauren polo
air max uk
cheap nfl jerseys
louis vuitton uk
ed hardy clothing
giuseppe zanotti shoes
swarovski outlet
air max 90
pandora outlet
cazal sunglasses
christian louboutin shoes
michael kors outlet store
burberry outlet
coach factory outlet
mulberry handbags
michael kors outlet clearance
gucci outlet
tory burch outlet online
air force 1 shoes
oakley sunglasses sale
air max 90
lebron shoes
futbol baratas
christian louboutin sale
louis vuitton
cazal outlet
qqqqqing20170408

Name: Hallowthorn (Signed) · Date: 11/26/15 22:14 · For: Chapter 4

Oh, a nice twist! I hope you will come back and finish!

Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 10/04/13 1:22 · For: Chapter 1

Hi, Abi. I am here to comment on your story again as it develops, and I must say you are doing a fine job. Ellie has already commented extensively on your story's virtues, so I won't repeat anything except to say that I agree with everything she said.
I love that your dialogue is really very natural, not obviously striving to be "stylish" (which gets annoying rather quickly). The characters are well-developed, each with a variety of characteristics; no one seems to be a one-note personality.
And I love that your story seems to have a story arc; in between the sections of dialogue, stuff is happening which seems to be co-ordinated toward some future goal (which we do not see yet, but we believe that it is there.) Sometimes I read stories where the dialogue goes on and on, beating the same few points into the ground, while very little happens plot-wise, and my fingers itch to take a blue pencil and cut the manuscript way down, to make it tighter. I don't feel that way about your story at all; you have struck a good balance between dialogue and action, between taking the time to develop a scene or idea well, while also moving the story along at a good pace.
I also like the fact that you depict all your characters (except maybe Victoire) as sensible, thoughtful people who are ruled as much by their heads as by their guts. (And I don't mean that as a criticism of how you depict Victoire; it's okay to have one character like that because there really are a few people like that in the world, just not an entire cast of characters like that.)
Stories about people who are constantly behaving against their own best interest can get boring after a while (at least in my mind), so I find your story very refreshing. I am looking forward to the rest of this story, and hope we won't have to wait long!

Vicki

Author's Response: Hi, Vicki =) Thank you so much for such a lovely review! I've been sat here for about five minutes trying to write coherent sentences because I'm squeeing too much. I'm so glad you're enjoying the story, and I promise there won't be such a long gap between updates from now on. Thank you again for taking the time to read my fic and for leaving a lovely review as well =) ~Abi~

Name: Dad (Signed) · Date: 04/19/13 5:12 · For: Chapter 3

Some interesting characters in this story.

Author's Response: Thanks =) ~Abi~

Name: iLuna17 (Signed) · Date: 04/13/13 14:08 · For: Chapter 2

Hello, Abi. :)

I can’t believe I haven’t read this yet, and I’m really glad I did. Even though the story is still in the introductory phase, you’ve already set up so many great relationships and plotlines for both Dominique and those surrounding her, and I’m really interested to see where you’ll take this.

One of the things I really liked about this piece was the style. It’s written using straightforward language, and it really gives us an insight into Dominique’s mind. I could see the little bits of sarcasm that she throws in, and you organized the little inner monologues brilliantly throughout the piece. The first person was really utilized, and I simply loved being able to see exactly how Dominique felt and reacted to everything that happened.

I think you’ve got a different take on Dominique, and even now she seems very fleshed-out and relatable. I love how you really show all of her insecurities, especially about being compared to Victoire, because the way you wrote it is extremely relatable. I do wonder how much longer she can stand not voicing any of these thoughts to Victoire, and I love how I can already feel you leading up to blowout. You also provide so many little details about Dominique; from her tendency to cause trouble, to what lessons she enjoys, to the slightest hints of her relationships with her friends that she just seems incredibly real. One thing I would say, though, is I might want to see more justification of why she’s a Slytherin, because right now she’s coming off more as a Hufflepuff to me. Brilliant job, though.

Another thing I found interesting was your version of Victoire. While we only see her from Dominique’s point of view, who thinks her sister is perfect, the reader is able to see that she’s not. It was very subtle, because of Dominique’s view, but I saw cracks in her ‘perfection’ ever so slightly when they were talking about Teddy. I could see how no matter how much she dressed up or looked pretty, she still didn’t have what she wanted: Teddy. And it was really hurting her. It really made her seem real to me, because of the fact that Dominique is telling the story makes her seem slightly Mary-Sueish at times, because of her beauty. I might, in later chapters, start to show more of this, because no one is perfect. I really think this could go far. I also loved the parallel between this piece and your one-shot about Victoire – all the drama with Amelia – and I think you should show more of this as the story goes on, to really flesh out Victoire.

One of the things that intrigued me the most about this was the complexity of the relationships, even in the first two chapters, especially between Dominique and Victoire. Dominique cares a lot about Victoire, that is obvious from the conversation with Teddy, but there’s the bitterness underneath that truly worries me. It’s like she’s in a constant struggle to voice her thoughts or to just let it be, and I don’t think that will work out for her in chapters to come. I thought it was really sweet when Dominique stood up for Victoire to Teddy, because it shows a lot about her character; always putting someone else before herself. I also adored Louis and Dominique in this, because he seems like the one to make her feel the happiest, and I wonder how old he is, because I don’t think you mentioned it. I also thought Bill was brilliant, being the one to comfort Dominique.

One of the things I would say, however, is that because of how many characters and relationships you’ve taken on with this, it might be difficult to continue all the storylines as the story progresses. I speak from personal experience that it is extremely difficult to maintain a lot of characters, especially if you add more when Dominique goes to school. It is possible, but I would really think through your outline to make sure that each character has his or her moment, and that they’re used in the plot. It’s just something to be cautious us, because it can be stressful to deal with when you need to get the subplots tied up and there’s a lot of them.

Overall, though, I think this is a really promising start, Abi. I love the situation and characters you’ve set up, and I really look forward to seeing more. The style and voice of Dominique is great, and I’m curious to see where you’ll go from here.

Ellie

Author's Response: Hi, Ellie =) Wow, I think I've sat here for about ten minutes trying to respond to this but I've been flailing far too much =L Thank you so much for the lovely review! Characterisation is always something I struggle with so I'm really glad you think I'm doing all right so far and thank you for the advice as well =) *Huggles* ~Abi~

Name: Dad (Signed) · Date: 01/22/13 5:53 · For: Chapter 2

This is developing into quite an interesting story.

Author's Response: I'm glad you think so, thank you for the review =)

Author's Response: I'm glad you think so, thank you for the review =)

Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 01/21/13 23:25 · For: Chapter 2

I suppose that Victoire had always nurtured the hope that she might get back together with Teddy, and now that hope seems to have been destroyed. Being "perfect" certainly does not guarantee a happy life. Perhaps Dominique is beginning to feel that things are more even between herself and her sister.

Author's Response: Thank you for the review =)

Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 11/28/12 2:12 · For: Chapter 1

A problem that exists in many families, no doubt. Who is the winner and who is the loser. It will be interesting to see how you resolve this.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review =) I hope you'll keep reading to find out how I resolve it =) ~Abi~