Name: Purple Dragon (Signed) · Date: 10/03/13 19:24 · For: Epilogue

Okay, can i just say...um, wow? LIke totally blew my frikin mind? There is so much depth of this story. I admit I was confused for a while, but then it was like, oh, I totally get it now. It was just amazing. This review isn't helpful at all. I just wanna say jolly good show! (As you can tell I'm American)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! :D This review made me grin and I'm glad you enjoyed the fic.

~Natalie

Name: Ginny Weasley Potter (Signed) · Date: 03/01/13 17:07 · For: Epilogue

What a fitting end to the story. I'm glad the matter has resolved itself; that Mags is learning to cope with who she is.

Mike going to jail made me grin. Good. That's exactly what should happen. I hope you follow up with a story about Mags though (I'm always very intrigued by OCs, ha) and I am looking forward to read the rest of your fics.

Sorry if I wasn't coherent most of the time. I was squeeing and gasping throughout.

It was a wonderful ride, and I'm glad to have read this. Thank you so very much! :)

Oh, and before I forget, you know how I told you I have an OC called Daisy/Margaret? Well, in the fic concerning her, her best friend is Andrew. He gets killed (stabbed) and she knows how it happened, but she won't tell anyone. In the end, she tells Harry about the murderer (but this is not nearly as well written as your fic. This stuff is six years old, and I was a baccha, hahaha. :D

Author's Response: I couldn't NOT have Mike sent to jail; there are enough rl criminals on loose. The fanfic one's gotta be served justice. And ha ha ha! More parallel with flist fics! :D You, Croll and I should co-write The Mags and Andrew Thief ha ha ha ha. Thank you, my lovely, for all the loveliness! :) I was worried this ficwas going to fade away, but yours and Croll's support have kept it afloat. ~ Natalie

Name: Ginny Weasley Potter (Signed) · Date: 03/01/13 16:55 · For: The Release

This was delicious. It was so thrilling in the beginning, and touching towards the end. You made me feel worse for Andrew. :(

I didn't expect Maudie to take his shape, though (that was Maudie, wasn't it?) It was so gripping, the way Mags finally reunited her own body and soul. I didn't expect that -- at least, I thought that some physical magic might be involved.

I can imagine how enjoyable this chapter was to write. I love writing the chapter that resolves everything too. It's amazing that you're so clear with your characters, and your writing is so defined, that you don't need to name who is talking, when you write in first person.

Wow. This was an amazing story. I still have no words for the brilliance of it, and the richness of the plot. I couldn't produce something like this, even if I tried (and even then, the only proper thriller I have on here is like 26 chapters long, and I'm pretty sure that 7 installments wouldn't have solved anything).

Author's Response: Originally, Mags was supposed to unite body and soul with a lot of physical magic, but as the story progressed on the doc, I began to feel that Mags's real problem is truly psychological. Her biggest problem is her inability to face her guilt surrounding Andrew's murder. She's almost blocked them for her consciousness, which is why Dom couldn't access them easily. It's only when Mags starts feeling better about herself (though, really, as Dom, who's more guilt-free), that her defence goes down.

But the subconscious is always there; nothing is completely forgotten, and her blatant refusal to see that part of her past is no way to recover or hide. Though I didn't get a chance to touch that part due to word count constraints, when Dom's body murmurs Andrew's name in the ward, it's a signal of the persistence of that night's memory, the irremovable presence of her guilt. When she's forced to face Andrew, it's her hatred of her own guilt that makes her torture him. She hates him by association. But Mags is not totally gone yet. Once that hatred has been exorcised, she is given another chance. I thought that was a less dramatic, but more significant method :) This is again a part that I cracked my head over, and I want to thank you for raising the point.

Thank you, once again, for your lovely and supportive comments! <3

Name: Ginny Weasley Potter (Signed) · Date: 03/01/13 16:33 · For: The Curse

NOOO! Mags is so evil! I hope she doesn't succeed. I hope Harry and Hermione get there on time with Maudie D:.

This was such a thrilling chapter. It's all coming together beautifully now... and I wonder how they'll sort this out now.

If Mags dies, then Dom will die will her, and the real Mags will live as Dom. This is scary. And vile. She shouldn't do that to someone who saved her!

You have a very gripping style of writing and I'm so immersed in this, it's difficult to put my thoughts forward coherently. I'm just shocked, excited and eager all at the same time.

I feel sorry for Andrew. :(

Author's Response: <33333

Name: Ginny Weasley Potter (Signed) · Date: 03/01/13 16:10 · For: The Book

NO! THAT'S how Andrew died! Nooo, I was starting to like him!

Well done on the Fleur-Maudie interaction. And hmm, the plot thickens. So Mags got the book from Andrew. How did he get it though? Unless he's a wizard? But why would he go to a Muggle school then? So many questions...

Why do I feel that Andrew Carlton will make all the sense? Hmm. Maybe it's just my own high suspicion index (I think that's what it's called). And I loved reading Dom's back-story. Her and Maudie's meeting was very interesting!

Moving on to the next chapter...

Author's Response: I am not going to lie. I've written a few death scenes, but this one has moved me the most. :(

Name: Ginny Weasley Potter (Signed) · Date: 03/01/13 12:27 · For: The Suture

This chapter is very interesting. It was nice to get to know the background of your characters. And, ha, Dominique's first love was called Lakshmi? Wow! I wonder if the problem was that being a lesbian is so frowned upon in India (though, I hope, by that time, people will be more liberal with their thoughts here).

What I do notice here is that Mags and Dominique seem to have been depressed at some point in their lives. I feel it's got a lot to do with whatever is going on here, but I shall read further to find out.

I love, love, LOVE Hermione in this chapter. She's perfectly characterised, and is being her bossy, know-it-all self again, ha. Also, the details you have provided about your minor characters are lovely. The tiny facts and the little things really make them more believable and alive.

I feel terrible for Fleur and Maudie now, and I do hope that Dominique gets better soon. And meep! Mags knows about the wizarding world! :O

Author's Response: Oh, that had very little to do with India's stance on homosexuality, but rather with my canon version of Padma Patil, who's her mother. :x She's had some really bad experience - Parvati dies in the general canon of which this Dominique is a part of - and Padma's sees Lakshmi's attraction as an example of delinquency. I can't explain too much EEP!

YAY for the Hermione compliment!!!!! And also for my minor characters :)

Name: Equinox Chick (Signed) · Date: 02/25/13 9:12 · For: Epilogue

You deserve a decent SPEW type review. Sadly I am not a SPEWer, and I’m not really here to leave one, but I do want to write something better than the keysmash and gush I have been leaving.

And now I’m here all I want to do is kjdsakdnbasldasda and GUSHHHHHHHHH – ha ha.

What makes this story so good, (and I really am not just saying this ‘cause you’re me mate, Dean’ (am in Seamus mode – apologies) is not only the flawless characterisation of the canon characters we know, or even the fully realised OCs (seriously even Sam who had the most minute of parts leapt off the screen at me), but the utterly engrossing plot. I didn’t know how this was going to end. I did seriously think you were going to kill off Dominique because as much as I know you love her, you led me to believe that Mags would win. It was like when I read OOTP and thought Arthur had died, and the relief that she survived was similar to knowing the Order had got there in time and Arthur would survive.

There were parts I found a little confusing, but I think that was deliberate on your part because as I said earlier, all the ends are tied up, and all the plot points work. It wasn’t so much confusing as puzzling and I really was trying to work out what the frick was going on. I’m very pleased you published this quickly because I’m not sure I could have waited and would have been badgering you on AIM or getting the next plane over (ha ha – that would have gone down well!)

I said in an earlier review that this would work well as an OF, and I do believe that. One of the reasons, I think, for this story’s uniqueness is that whilst it has a connection to the Potterverse, it isn’t wholly reliant on it, mainly because of the characters.

Let me get to the Epilogue and tell you what I liked the best.

Thanks for the letter. You’re brave. I wish you the best. You could easily have given them a joyous reunion where Dominique held her and forgave her for everything, promising they’d stay in touch for ever and ever, and you might have been able to make it work, but this was so much better. She’s almost forgiven, I think, and that makes the story so much stronger. I’m so glad that they got their lives back, (because you did prod me about euthanasia, so I was wondering about that) but I’m wondering if Dominique is damaged like Mags. Is her soul unstable?

And it’s just hit me how relevant this is to the Horcruxes. And I’m shivering even more.

I shall end now. Thoroughly enjoyed this story, Natalie. It is incredible and I am so pleased that something this complex and powerful got you back into writing fanfiction.

Also, if you DARE withdraw this when I nominate it for a QSQ, then I will carry out my threat and not only jump on a plane to shout, but I shall shower you with ribcages in mason jars. :D

~Carole~

Author's Response: Croll, please keep in mind that every review from you is worth a thousand reviews, and I'm not saying this only because you're me mate, Dean. (Feck and Begorrah!)

I'm very, VERY thrilled that you like this one :D I don't know if I've mentioned this part in my other responses - I'm horrible at responding to reviews and very repetitive - but I worked my butt off on this fic for a week, so it's wonderful to know you appreciate it. You hardly shy away from telling me the truth!

The suspense worked. Yay! That was a real p***k to write, although exhilarating once everything came together on the Word doc. There's no other rush like it, is there? I bet even Dom's happiness can't match the high we get when a story comes together hahaha. Speaking of Dom, yeah, that letter does remain in character. I don't picture her getting all gooey, because she's always been a little tough in my mind. Well, the Dom I write anyway. I think she's a good human being, but also a little harsh once you harm her. In Bleed, however, I make her a little vulnerable, because Lakshmi left so abruptly, without giving her proper closure.

OF! Hmm. Yes, that thought crossed my mind while I was writing it. But I don't really have the heart to take it away from fanfiction. :X I especially enjoyed writing Harry and Hermione for once. I'm afraid even Unbreakable couldn't cure me from Trio-phobia. Ack! The Horcrux connection was also intended, and I'm so pleased you picked up on it.

A shower of ribcages is always ghastly, but adding mason jars? Sadistic! I'll definitely have to keep the nomination D:

<3333333333333333333333333333

Natalie

Name: Equinox Chick (Signed) · Date: 02/25/13 8:44 · For: The Release

Bluuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfllsldsanmkdhnasmndkjx.cbghdgsfh;kj

Comprehensive review done. :D

Brilliant chapter, amazing story. Not much to say here, except how this all tied up was stunningly good. I know you chopped some things, but it's not noticeable - honestly.

Serious flailage going on here and I've had a day or so to ponder.

Back in a bit with something better, but for now, I'm captivated. :D

Crollalanza (new alias, Jules will explain)

Name: Redwing (Signed) · Date: 02/24/13 13:04 · For: Epilogue

Wow! What an awesome story. I was so disoriented at parts, and yet it was okay, because it seemed right int he context. You did an amazing job with this. I wonder if Mags's future children will be witches or wizards?

Author's Response: Thank you so much! :) Hmm now that's a thought! There's some magic left inside her due to the curse, so there could be witches/wizards in the future from her bloodline. ~ Natalie

Name: Equinox Chick (Signed) · Date: 02/24/13 8:13 · For: The Curse

NO NO NOOOOOO!!! OH Merlin, seriously freaked out at Mags now. She's bloody evil! Incredible chapter. Incredible research. Incredible story. Incredibly bad review. Sirius apologies for the fangirly gushiness.

I will try and leave something afr more comprehensive when I've caught my breath. EEEEEEP

OH! Dorcas - great idea to have that connection. She wouldn't approve of what her great niece is doing at all!

waiting with bated breath eeeep. ~carole~ (This could be OF, you know)

Author's Response: Siriusly love the review still! :D

Name: Equinox Chick (Signed) · Date: 02/24/13 4:01 · For: The Book

Dom's happiness is addicting - sigh -

I meant to mention in one of my reviews how much I liked the characterisation of Mark. It's the way he is similar to Harry in not realising connections - so with Mags it's the death of Andrew, and with Dom it's that last year at school that he 'forgot' about.

This is an incredibly fascinating concept, the soul stealing and the Curse. IT's really got me hooked, as hae all the other connections - Mark's aunt being captured but Voldy, for instance. Oh, and then you went and slayed me by reminding me that Andrew Carlton had died :( :( and Scorpy had been hurt (and wasn't with Hugo because that didn't happen)

Whose wedding was Dom at when she met Maudie, btw? I was trying to work out who the bride was, and whether she was a Weasley, that was all.

Brilliant story, and this should have a shedload of reviews heaped upon it.

~Carole~

Name: Equinox Chick (Signed) · Date: 02/22/13 5:36 · For: The Suture

OMFFFFFFPPPPPPPPP!!!! Brilliant.

This will be incoherent, but I am loving the plot. This is fabulous and so bloody intriguing. And sorry, this will be incredibly short, but i have to say my utter utter favourite part of this chapter is how different you've made the characters. Mags is fabulous. Her way of speaking is so natural and yet it immediately sets her apart from the other characters. And yeah, DILF - hahahahahahahahahahahahah -

Um, sorry, really incoherent, but just ... mind = blown!

~Crollllllllolololololololol

Author's Response: Yes. DILF. LOL. Ah! I'm intrigued how you'll find Mags in the later chapters, because there'll be a shift in the way she's written. I'm posting the fourth chapter today and the final tomorrow, along with the epilogue. Hope you will enjoy the whole thing.

Name: Equinox Chick (Signed) · Date: 02/22/13 2:20 · For: The Guilt

Who's Mags? - (She's Dom's gf in Stars or Carousels - hee hee). I have a theory, ehich I shall mention in a bit.

This is so scarily intriguing, Natalie. I am on tenterhooks reading it and you HAVE to update very very soon.

I started to get chills as soon as Bill and Fleur were mentioned especially Fleur's state and Bill trying to deal with everything. I do hate to think of them as unhappy and unable to cope.

I loved the mix of old and new characters. Maudie leaps of the page, although part of that might be because I know her already, but the other people in the ward - Eliza and Mark, for instance are fully realised in very few words - so well done for that.

Also, I'm very interested in the interplay between Hermione and Harry. There concern shines through, plus the interest from them both in the problem, which is very like them. Harry not remembering the failed NEWTs, or at least not assigning it any importance, is so bloody typical - ha ha ha

Oh, not sure my Mags theory is going to work now. I had this idea that Margaret was Dominique and this was some type of bipolar incident, but Margaret is in a coma in a hospital, and Dominique is at St Mungo's so ... hmmmmmm .... This is going to puzzle me.

May your fabulousness continue :D

~Croll

Author's Response: MAGS! Oop! I think stealing hath occureth ha ha ha. YAY for your feedback about Harry and Hermione because I am still scared of writing the trio. I almost included a short scene with Ron; the word count limit saved me the trouble lol. Also, very glad to know you liked the other characters. I filled up the fic with a lot of OCs. I wonder if that's the reason it's not clicking well with the readers. Hmm.

Name: Ginny Weasley Potter (Signed) · Date: 02/21/13 14:44 · For: The Guilt

This is a really sad chapter. :( The plot is thickening, and I'm enjoying the multiple PoVs. They're a tough experiment, and I love that you've pulled it off so well.

I think this chapter is so different from the prologue. The vagueness has vanished, and now we have a more defined situation. Although, what happened to Mags and Dom is still very mysterious. I feel sorry for Maudie, and I wonder who Andrew is. I suspect, though, that he's one of the two boys that Dominique met in her... fugue state? Though this is definitely more scary and surreal than actual Dissociative Identity Disorder.

Again, I'm eager to find out what happens next. I love how each character here is so defined-- that is another thing about multiple PoV, there is a need to constantly change the voice of the narrative, according to the person whose head you're getting into.

I feel sorry for Bill and Fleur. And Maudie. I giggled at the mention of Hermione and her glasses. Somehow, I've never imagined that. :p

Waiting for more!
Pooja

Author's Response: Hahaha! Poor Hermione reads a little too much. I think she eventually had to get a pair. I'm loving hearing your thoughts and your feedback. I was very wary of the structure because multiple POVs can be so difficult to pull off, especially when I'm mixing first person with third person omniscient. Thank you for everything! :)

Name: Ginny Weasley Potter (Signed) · Date: 02/21/13 13:10 · For: Prologue

So, finally, I am reading something that you've written, and I'm quite excited to continue with this fic.

What I like here in the prologue is the surreal, detached voice that this person (who I'm assuming is your OC) has. I think that's very well done. Many of his actions are written realistically-- and his thoughts too-- like the lines about him smoking, or what he thought of his stepmother.

But why would he think that Dominique is a ghost? And what is she doing there alone? I have a lot of questions, and would really love to read further on. The one thing I can be sure of, though, is quick updates, so my impatience isn't going to claw at me, hehe.

Wonderful beginning, and I'm so excited to see the rest! Adding this to my faves! :D

(And sorry, this isn't much of a review. But there will be a more analytical one in the end, once your post the last chapter, and February ends, lol).

Pooja

Author's Response: THANK YOU! I'm thrilled you're reading my work, meri jaan! :D I can't wait to see what you think of it once it's fully published.

Name: Equinox Chick (Signed) · Date: 02/21/13 9:42 · For: Prologue

MAUDIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Okay, intrigued already (and scanning the warnings in abject terror, I have to say)

Sorry, can't say much more but bolldy hell it's fantastic to have you back. :D :D :D

Croll

Author's Response: It's fantastic to be back!