Name: PlutoLovegood (Signed) · Date: 09/22/15 21:44 · For: Prologue

I enjoyed the suspense and the prmise of this prologue, as well as the theme of a good son of an evil father seeking the best for his daughter. I do hope you'll continue this story.

Name: Kerichi (Signed) · Date: 06/13/15 11:33 · For: Prologue

I love the movie Willow, so I'm a sucker for save the baby prologues, and yours pulled me in with the man being pursued through the snow. The crunch of his steps revealing his position gave it an added tension and sense of urgency. I was left with questions, and one you could have answered is where is the orphanage located. A few telling details would have shown that the prologue is taking place in Scotland or Wales or wherever and grounded the story.

Tom Jr. wanting his child to grow up away from the madness is touching. The only problem for me was the note. Naming her Bellatrix Riddle makes the mistaken for Muggleborn dream impossible. If he'd named her something else, a constellation name and her mother's maiden name or the name Black (who wouldn't believe Sirius had an accidental love child?) would remind readers of her true family without making the girl an instant target of loathing or reverence to the rest of the Wizarding world.

The story has a lot of promise. I hope you find inspiration and continue. :)

Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 03/11/15 1:59 · For: Prologue

You have certainly left us with a lot of unanswered questions in this teaser of a prologue, such as who T.M. Riddle's mother was, who his wife was, who his pursuers are, and why. I will keep my eye out for your second chapter, curious to see why you are going to do with this baby girl.

I wonder if, in your original manuscript that you posted on this site, you accidentally left off the final after "Avada Kedavra," because right now everything on the right-hand side of this screen is in italics. :) It might be a good idea to use the Chapter Edit feature to check your manuscript, and if indeed that tag has been omitted, restoring it will make the right-hand column of the screen revert to normal type. Thanks!

Name: Fynnsmom (Signed) · Date: 03/05/15 13:30 · For: Prologue

Sounds like a good start. I'll look for your next chapter.