Name: linmangmu (Signed) · Date: 09/14/17 3:37 · For: Chapter 1

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Name: Kerichi (Signed) · Date: 06/29/15 19:45 · For: Chapter 2

This is a seriously fun chapter, and true to life. In dark times people turn to gossip and entertainment to lighten their days. Loved Sirius and imagining his hearty laugh.

Name: Kerichi (Signed) · Date: 06/29/15 19:21 · For: Chapter 1

Alastor is such a vivid character, I'm glad you're giving him a romance. Love doesn't have to end happily to make readers happy. It's the old "Better to have loved and lost" axiom.

Dorcas is one of those names without a face characters. Yes, Voldemort killed her personally, but the reason is left to the imagination. I'll be interested to read your take on it.

Substance abuse is such a terrible sounding warning, but it really just warns readers that more than social drinking is going on. You have Dorcas and Alastor drink shots of absinthe before switching to his hip flask. As the drinks take effect he's "laughing in a most undignified manner at her increasingly slurred criticisms of her colleague" and then he says the words he "couldn't say while sober." The characters are adults and they don't usually get plastered, but at the end of this chapter they have definitely abused alcohol, and who could blame them?

Maybe you could edit your author's note to say you decided against it because the only time the characters don't drink responsibly is in the first chapter. I think that's a valid reason. :)

Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 05/02/15 0:30 · For: Chapter 1

Hi, Sydney. Vicki from Slytherin House here again, commenting on your new story.

This is a great story, gracefully written, with no extraneous words or “filler” phrases and sentences. Every detail adds to the characterization of Dorcas and carries the story forward. You say that the story was originally intended to be shorter, but the present length seems just fine, and I’m not sure what I would have had you cut out.

The poor Daily Prophet; it never gets any respect, doubtless because it never deserves any. It seems to lend itself to a never-ending string of jokes. I’m not sure which is more fun, writing Sorting Hat songs or Daily Prophet parodies.

From what we see of Alastor Moody in the seven books, it’s hard to think of a romantic Alastor. It will be interesting to see how you create this aspect of his personality. I would say you have pretty much free rein to do it in the way that seems best to you. Sounds like a challenge!

Nice job on this chapter. I am looking forward to more.

Vicki

Author's Response: Vicki, thanks so much for your review. You are almost as good at writing reviews as you are at writing stories. (I say almost because I don't want to disparage your stories.) What I meant by "I intended it to be shorter," is that it was originally supposed to be a one-shot, but it's expanded a bit. As for the Daily Prophet, I'll give them respect when they've earned it. Maybe if Hogwarts offered a writing class, journalism in the wizarding world would be a bit better. Yeah, I surprised myself when I thought of this fic Moody definitely isn't on anyone's list of most likely to have a girlfriend. Snape has a better lovelife in fanfiction than Moody does... Anyways, thanks for your support. You are so great!