Disclaimer: Sadly, I am not J.K. Rowling and therefore did not invent most of the characters and places in this fanfic.

“Come, come back to me, my darling
I wasn't prepared for this
Oh, I wasn't prepared for this
When the day is blue
I'll sit here wondering about you.�
I Wasn’t Prepared by Eisley

“So, it’s time for our traditional back to school mockery session, show us the goods, Lily,� said a teenage girl, leaning back comfortably in her scarlet seat.

The train let out a steaming whistle. The sound of hundreds of goodbyes echoed around them as the train began to leave the station.

“What?� replied Lily, absent-mindedly, as she sifted through a folder packed with leaflets and notes.

“Oh, come on! The letters! What did he send you this year?�

Lily felt her stomach knot slightly. She ignored the question and resumed her intensive folder organization.

“Lily! Pay attention! Violet and I are dying to know! We look forward to this every summer,� said the girl again, pushing back her golden mane to reveal a set of inquisitive blue eyes. “Did he send any poems? Please let there be poems.�

A curly-haired girl, who had been silently gazing out the window, laughed at this.

“Remember last year?� she said. “What was it again? ‘Lily, oh Lily, you make me so silly...’�

Lily frowned while her two friends erupted in hysterical laughter. After their brief fit, both girls turned to her with questioning looks.

“He didn’t send me anything this year,� Lily said. She said it quietly and very unwillingly. She had begged him for years to just leave her alone, and for the first time, he was listening. This is what she had always wanted. Why did it bother her so much?

“I can’t believe it;� said her blonde friend. “You mean to tell me that for the first summer in five years, James Potter has not bombarded you with a daily flow of letters?�

“Yes, Sarah, that is what I said,� Lily replied sharply.

At this Sarah cocked an eyebrow.

“I’m sensing a very hostile tone from you, Miss Evans. You couldn’t possibly be upset that he hasn’t written you?

“No, I’m not upset! I’m just nervous about my first meeting, that’s all, and you’re distracting me from my preparation.�

Sarah smirked.

“Do you know who the Head Boy is yet?� asked Violet, pushing a pair of glasses over her brown eyes.

“No, I have no idea. But I got along pretty well with all of the guy prefects the past two years, so I don’t think it should be a problem. I’m pretty sure it’ll either be Lupin or Macmillan, though.�

“No, Remus didn’t get it,� said Sarah.

“Oh, that’s too bad,� muttered Violet. “I guess that means you’ll be stuck with Macmillan.�

“Don’t say it like that, he’s fine,� replied Lily. “He’s just a bit pompous at times. I know he’s expecting it, he told me everyone in his family was Hufflepuff prefect and later one of the Heads.�

“Believe me, talk like that will get very irritating after awhile,� said Violet.

“Who do you think you’re talking to? You haven’t been followed around for years by the school’s resident big head!� cried Lily.

Sarah burst out with a peal of laughter.

“I guess it’s a good thing that Potter’s not Head Boy, then.� She resumed her laughing, and finished it off with an enlarged version of her signature smirk.

Lily felt her stomach flip.

“Sarah, what do you know? Did Remus tell you who the new Head Boy is? It’s not… it can’t be…� stammered Lily.

“Don’t be silly, I don’t know a thing,� she said, and she pulled a large pillow down from the storage rack and closed her eyes to sleep, the smirk still on her lips.

Lily glared at her and began to gather her things together.

“It’s time for my meeting. I have to welcome all the prefects and hand them their lists of duties. And suddenly, I’m feeling really nervous about seeing who the new Head Boy is. You don’t know, do you?�

“No, I’m as lost as you are,� said Violet.

“Wonderful,� said Lily.

* * * * * * * * * *

“Potter! You couldn’t have warned me that it was Potter!� cried Lily.

“Calm down, Lily. I didn’t want to spoil the surprise,� said Sarah.

“Didn’t you think I might need some mental preparation for news like that. As a friend, you should have told me!�

“Relax! I practically told you anyway. And after I saw your reaction to him not writing you, I thought you would be happy about spending more time with James dearest,� laughed Sarah.

“Just cut it out, will you? You know that I can’t stand him. Just drop it,� Lily fumed.

A few prefects passed by the compartment, and Lily stormed out to join them. Violet turned to Sarah with an expression of shock drawn on her face.

“Wow, you really upset her. What do you think that was about? I mean, she usually gets annoyed when you bug her about James, but she seemed exceptionally mad this time,� said Violet.

“She’s just upset because she can’t come to terms with her own feelings. She’s crazy about him, and she won’t admit it.�

“Still, something must be bothering her. I wonder if something happened.�

* * * * * * * * * *
Violet and Sarah made their way across the Great Hall to the Gryffindor table. Sarah took a seat next to a thin, sickly-looking boy and soon began talking to him and his friends. A few moments later, Lily walked in and took the seat next to Violet. When she noticed with whom her friends had chosen to sit, a look of apparent irritation spread across her face. Violet noticed this and leaned over to Lily.

“You know how close Sarah and Remus are and she hasn’t seen him all summer, just let it slide, ok?� said Violet.

Lily sighed. Sarah Weston, that quick-tempered, loud, instigating best friend of hers, just happened to be lifelong friends with the person most unlike her; quiet, intelligent Remus Lupin. It was a friendship that puzzled most people, and sometimes Lily wondered if Sarah did not use Remus just to be closer to his popular friends. It was these friends that Lily had a problem with. Remus, Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black and James Potter were inseparable. Peter, although he was lazy and rather on the slow side, she could tolerate. It was Black and Potter that drove her to the brink of insanity. They were so rude, shallow and conceited that she could barely stand to be around them. Potter had harassed her for ages with claims about his undying love for her, which she knew to be false. He liked the chase and nothing more.

Violet had been correct in her assumption that something was disturbing her friend. It was precisely Potter that had her so agitated at the moment. His affection for her had infuriated her for years. When he did not write to her over the summer, instead of feeling relieved and content, as she rationally should have, she was disappointed and upset. These feelings only escalated when she went to the prefect meeting. Potter walked in, made the announcements, and walked out. His greeting to her was a quick ‘hello’ accompanied by a brief smile. He did not beg with her to date him, or bow before her, or kiss her hand, or call her one of his concocted pet names. She had always hated these sickening displays, but now, she almost missed them.

Sitting at the Gryffindor table, after the Headmaster’s annual greeting speech and once the mountains of delicious food had appeared for their dinner, she struggled with these new emotions. She did not want to have feelings for Potter, and so she made up numerous excuses to amount for her disappointment in his new attitude towards her. None of them were very persuasive, and not even she was convinced. Still, she tried as hard as she could to believe that she was merely coming down with a strange bout of the flu.

A smooth voice interrupted her thoughts.

“Lily?�

She looked up and saw a pair of hazel eyes staring into her own. It was Potter and he was asking her a question. But why was he calling her “Lily�? She was always “Evans� to him. He had even apparently dropped his superiority act around her. She was shocked to find that she was not at all happy about this.

“Yes, Potter?� she grumbled.

“Lily, will you –�

Overcome with a flood of relief, Lily replied before he had finished his sentence.

“No, for the last time, I will not go out with you, Potter!� Things were finally back to normal, why had she worried so much?

But she noticed that his friends were all chuckling and that a slight flush had appeared on his face. She had just done something stupid, she knew it.

“Umm, actually… will you pass the chicken?�

Her face was burning so much she almost wondered if something scalding had been poured on her accidentally.

“Well… good… I’m glad that you… I’m… Here’s the chicken.�

“Uh, thanks,� he said.

An awkward silence ensued, that Sarah filled up with a few cricket sounds, which Lily could not have appreciated less. Seeing Lily’s face, Sarah leaned over to Black and successfully drifted the attention away from her embarrassed friend.

At the end of the feast, Lily was not nearly as sufficiently suffonsified as her friends, who had stuffed themselves with food and conversation. She had spent the evening moping, which was highly uncharacteristic of her. As she was leaving her seat to help lead the students to the common room, she saw Evangeline Wilson, a Ravenclaw girl with frosty blue eyes, chocolate locks and renowned gossip-spreading skills, approached Potter. She knotted her porcelain arms around his neck and planted her lips on his. The scalding feeling had long left Lily’s body and she now felt as though she were plunging through icy waters. She just stood there, horrified, as they laughed and embraced. She felt an arm around her shoulder that led her away gently. Sarah dragged her all the way to the common room. Once they reached their dormitory, Sarah sat down next to Lily and with calming eyes said “I’m so sorry, Lils.�

Lily struggled to find the words, but try as she may, she could not form them. After several attempts, she finally gasped out, “James Potter… has a girlfriend.�

A/N: Hey everyone, this is my first fanfic, so please tell me what you think! Any criticism is greatly appreciated! Hope you enjoy it.

Disclaimer: In my next life, I will come back as J.K. Rowling. But until then, I don’t own any of this. =P

If someone you love hurts you, cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it.
-- Anonymous

James Potter lay in bed, ruffling his disheveled black hair. He gazed pensively at the scarlet curtains draped around him, lost in the realms of his thoughts. The dusky velvet sky speckled with stars marked the closing of his first day back at Hogwarts. He was not sure how he felt about it.

This was his last year at Hogwarts and already everything was different. He, James Potter, prankster-extraordinaire, had been appointed Head Boy. For the first time in his life, he had responsibilities to take care of. His parents had always dispensed upon demand anything he wanted. Nothing had ever been expected of him. His grades and behaviour had never been of great consequence to them. Having had him late in life, they considered him their greatest treasure, and let him do as he pleased. Suddenly, he was partly responsible for the welfare of the entire student population. He could not fathom how he would achieve such a momentous task.

His other problem, and in his mind the graver of the two, was regarding the girl sharing all of his responsibilities this year. He could remember the exact day that he had fallen for her. They were in their fourth year, and he had transfigured her kitten into a flobberworm. She had been so relentlessly furious, so unstoppably livid, that he could hardly stand it. No one had ever told him off like that; his parents, his friends, even his teachers were won over by his charms. This girl, this suddenly beautiful girl, had actually stood up to him and ripped him up, taking his heart as she did it. Ever since that moment, Lily Evans had captivated him. He had wished more than anything for her to return his feelings, to no avail. She had resented and rejected his love. He put up with it for years, brushing off her rejections with a laugh. Each time, however, the rejection stung deeper.

In the summer, his friends finally took action to save their friend from another year of misery.

* * * * * * * * * *

“Prongs? PRONGS!� bellowed Sirius into the distracted face of his friend.

James leaped into the air, glowering at Sirius.

“What is your prob-�

“My problem is that you aren’t listening to my new marauding plans for this year,� said Sirius, pointing emphatically to a page entitled “Top Secret Evil Plans�.

“Great title,� yawned James.

“Pay attention, Prongs! What is with you?�

“I’m thinking about what to write in my new poem for Lily. How does this sound so far, ‘L is for Lovely. I is for Intelligent. L is for Laughy. Y is for –�

“Laughy? Good Lord, he’s finally lost it. I don’t even want to know what Y stood for,� said Remus. Peter snorted, but silenced himself at the scathing look he received from James.

“Listen, this is my last year to make her like me, and I can’t get rejected again!�

James’ friends were silent for a moment. The warm June sunlight was pouring in through his windows, exposing his large and extravagant bedroom.

“Actually James, we’ve been talking about that and… Well, you know that we only… Have you ever thought that maybe it’s time that you…� tried Remus.

“Moony, spit it out!� cried James, looking perplexedly at his friends.

“Have you ever thought that it’s time to just give up… on Lily? Now let me finish –� tried Remus again.

“ARE YOU CRAZY?� James yelled. “First of all, this is none of your business and secondly, I’m never giving up on her!�

“Calm down, mate,� said Sirius. “We realize that you really like her, but you’ve spent three years in misery because she doesn’t feel the same way! This is our last year at Hogwarts. It’s supposed to be the best year of our lives, and you’re going to waste it by sitting around depressed the whole time, whining about Evans! There are so many other girls out there –�

“No, you’re wrong! I’ve never liked anyone else and I never will. There aren’t any other girls out there.�

“Don’t you see what this is doing to you? You’re completely blinded by her. You’ve just got to move on,� said Remus.

“Lots of girls like you,� said Peter. “What about Evangeline? She’s always following you around.�

“Yeah, good idea, Wormtail. Evangeline Wilson is the perfect girl for you. She’s talented and gorgeous. What else do you need?� suggested Sirius.

* * * * * * * * * *

James remembered that summer day well. He had been so furious with his friends for even suggesting such a thing, but their words had struck a chord. Loving Lily had left him dejected for three years. The sight of her would fill him up, but the look on her face would tear him apart. He deserved a good last year. He had never even had a real girlfriend before, and he was sixteen! Sure, he had snogged quite a few girls, but he had never been committed to anyone. It was about time that he devoted himself to someone who would care back. With these thoughts reverberating in this mind, James decided to get over Lily. He had written to Evangeline the next day, asking for a date. He had been nervous when they had gone out, sure that he would hate her. Surprisingly, he found that they had much in common. Soon, his thoughts no longer drifted to the haunting green eyes of another girl.

Yet today, the task of forgetting Lily had become nearly impossible. He thought that he had stopped liking her, but seeing her again, hearing her voice… He had avoided her all day, scared at the idea of falling for her again. He had not known that she would be Head Girl. What would he do now? When she had seen him with Evangeline, he almost thought he had seen a flicker of disappointment cross her face. He knew, rather, that she was probably bubbling with joy.

It was these thoughts that James wrestled with as his first day at Hogwarts came to a close. Unable to conquer them, he let his dreams take him over, drifting to sleep.

* * * * * * * * * *

“Peter, will you pass the bacon,� said James. “Oh, and the ham. Wait, and the sausages. And the -�

“I see you’re still a nasty pig,� said Sarah, sitting down beside him.

“Hello to you too,� replied James, grinning sheepishly.

Violet sat down next to Remus and they immediately began going over their schedules.

“So what pranks do you guys have planned for this year?� asked Sarah.

“You’ll just have to wait and see,� said Peter excitedly.

At that moment, Sirius came stumbling over to them and slammed his fist on the table.

“Detention!� he said. “I’ve got detention already!�

“Oh tell! What did you do?� laughed Sarah.

“Nothing! I was just talking to Evangeline, and Evans came up and said something about me badgering the Hufflepuffs and gave me detention!�

“WHAT?� yelped Sarah.

“Lily gave you detention? I can’t believe it. Why would she…� Violet trailed off. “I’m going to go talk to her.� She picked up her books and stalked away. Sarah sighed and followed her friend.

Remus turned to Sirius.

“Wait, she gave you detention for badgering the Hufflepuffs?�

Sirius’ eyes widened and his friends laughed.

“That’s about the fakest excuse I’ve ever heard,� said James.

“Well what’s her problem then? As much of a pain as Evans can be, I never thought she’d go all Slytherin when she came into some power and start abusing it,� barked Sirius.

“You said you were talking to Evangeline when this happened?� questioned Remus.

“Wait, you think…� started James, as his friends turned to look at him.

“You know, Lily did seem a bit upset yesterday when she saw you two together,� said Peter.

“Oh, come off it, Wormtail,� snarled James.

“No, he’s right,� said Remus.

“So after convincing me to give up on her, now you’re telling me that I’ve still got a shot? Will you make up your minds?� James said angrily.

“I’m just starting to wonder if by moving on, you’ve made Lily fall for you,� said Remus.

Peter laughed.

“Yeah,� he said. “It looks to me as if the roles are reversing themselves.�

* * * * * * * * * *

James noticed how sulky Lily appeared during her classes that day and how she avoided the eyes of the Marauders. Although she seemed to cheer up slightly after double Potions (something James would never understand) he decided to go speak to her. He caught up with her as she was leaving the dungeons.

“Lily, do you think I could talk to you for a second?�

She spun around and flushed when she saw him. Before he could begin speaking, she spluttered out a flood of words.

“Listen, I just had a hard morning, I’m going to cancel Sirius’ detention. I was just really tired and had some trouble with those third year Slytherins and I don’t know why… there was no real reason, I just took my anger out on Black. You know, he is such a trouble maker and I shouldn’t have but I just couldn’t –�

“Lily, just calm down. I just wanted to see if you’re alright,� said James.

“What do you mean, if I’m alright? Alright about what?� asked Lily, sure that she already knew the answer.

“Well, I mean, about me and Evangeline,� he said, surprising himself by turning crimson.

“Of course I am!� she said, more forcefully than she intended to. “Don’t you even know me Potter, I’m relieved, that’s what I am. I’m just happy that you’ve moved on. I’m – I’m thrilled!� The smile on her face was so taut that it hurt.

“Er, great then,� he replied, forcing a smile on his face.

“Great,� she repeated in a sugary tone. “See you at dinner.�

They parted ways. James felt humiliated for even thinking that Lily could have had feelings for him. He was convinced that he had made a fool of himself, unknowing that Lily felt even more foolish herself.

A/N: OK so I realize that this was a very boring chapter, but please don’t give up on me because the others will be much more exciting. I just needed a chapter to really show how James was feeling. Drama and twists will soon follow, so don’t fall asleep!
~Holly
p.s. Opinions, criticism, suggestions? All welcome!
p.p.s. I’m seriously thinking about changing Sarah’s name. It is just too common and not Potterish enough. What do you think about this? Can you think of a better name? Or would this be too confusing? Thanks