Sometimes, late at night, I lie awake and wonder how different my life could have been if everyone in it had never changed, just like I had always wanted. I used to be afraid that the people in my life would become so different that I wouldn’t know them anymore. For so long, I wanted nothing more than to have everyone stay the same forever. I liked having something to depend on, something that would bring me comfort and stability.

But if everything had remained constant, my life would never be where it is now. I have experienced pain and loss, but more importantly, I have found true happiness. You see, if Draco Malfoy hadn’t gone against his parents’ wishes and joined the Order, I never would have become friends with him. And if my fiancé hadn’t broken my heart, I never would have gone to Draco’s house, hurt and confused, and let him comfort me when I thought I had nowhere else to go.

I guess my story begins about a year ago, when I was working at the Ministry. I was twenty-two, living alone in a tiny house among a small neighborhood of wizards on the outskirts of London. The events that occurred that day made me think that my whole world was falling apart, when really, my life was just beginning.

It was a hectic day at the Ministry, as usual, but it was a Friday, and I had something to look forward to. My fiancé, Jonathon Rafferty, was coming over to my house so that we could spend some quality time together. We hadn’t seen each other all week due to both of our busy schedules and he was constantly on my mind.

I was so in love with him, and my family adored him �” even Ron. During the war, none of us ever seemed able to relax �” my mom especially �” with nine of us in danger. And after it was over, after Harry Potter did indeed defeat the Dark Lord, we were never able to completely shake the fear and the worry that plagued our family for so long.

But when I met Jonathon, that tension that lingered among us all seemed to melt away, slowly disintegrating whenever he smiled until there was nothing left. His laugh was contagious, and before I knew it he had brought the familiar joy back to my family when I thought it was lost forever. I loved him with all my heart, and part of me still loves him for what he did for us.

So this is where my story begins: a day that seemed nothing out of the ordinary but would become a changing day, a day when my life took an unexpected turn and caused me to make a mistake that would alter my life as I knew it. But it wasn’t just any mistake �” it was the perfect mistake.
xxx

Often I wonder if the clock in my office stops periodically just to torture me so that when I look up, only five minutes appear to have passed when in reality, a half hour has gone by. But whenever I glare up at the thing it only laughs and tells me “Patience is a virtue, honey”, to which I respond with a certain finger gesture while wondering, for the thousandth time, why I’m not allowed to get rid of it.

Presently, I still have an hour until I get off. That is, if I can finish all this paperwork in time. I glance at the messy pile of papers surrounding me and sigh. That’s what I get for being so slow on Mondays. My work always piles up by the end of the week.

I work for the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes; specifically, I’m the head of the new division called the Suspicious Case Agency. Basically, we review all of the cases of magical accidents and catastrophes and pick out the ones that could be connected with Dark wizards. My job is to do a bit more in-depth investigation, find the ones worth looking into, fill out a complete report, and hand it over to Auror Intelligence.

Auror Intelligence was created during the last year of the war. Aurors used to operate themselves, investigating and fighting Dark Wizards. However, their workload became too much with so many Death Eaters and other Dark Wizards on the loose wreaking havoc while You-Know-Who was alive. Auror Intelligence specializes in the investigation of those Dark Wizards and the creation of covert operations against them, while the Aurors’ jobs are to go fight them.

Ironically, Draco Malfoy has a job in Auror Intelligence, and has played a key role in the capture of many law-breakers. I guess that’s when I started to respect him �” it was one thing to renounce his role as a Death Eater and turn his back on his parents, but it was another to work against them. I know that his dad, who had been in Azkaban ever since the ordeal at the Department of Mysteries, died shortly before Voldemort’s defeat, but Aurors killed Narcissa Malfoy. Whether it was a direct result of Draco’s work, I don’t know, but I decided not to give him a hard time for doing the right thing. And that’s how our friendship began.

Working with Malfoy has been... an experience. It is he who usually comes into my office periodically and fetches the mountains of paperwork that is to go to Auror Intelligence. After about four years of working together, I have learned to ignore his moments of arrogance and pride, though they are scarce. He makes me angry at times, yes, but he also makes me laugh, and has brightened my day numerous times in the few minutes he stops by to get the reports. I have not forgotten the boy he was back in school, but as far as I am concerned, they are two different people. Draco will never be able to erase the past, and part of my family have certainly stressed that to me when I speak of our relationship, but in my eyes, his slate has been wiped clean.

Suddenly, I hear the familiar creak of my door opening and look up from my work. Draco Malfoy has just entered the room looking about as tired as I felt. His shirtsleeves were rolled up and his untidy hair was falling into his eyes, which had dark circles underneath them. I smiled when he came in, and he took a seat at the hard wooden chair in front of my desk.

“You look tired,” I said, putting down my quill and sitting back in my chair.

He shrugged. “It’s been a crazy week.”

“Yet hardly any of these cases have turned out to be anything of importance. Maybe everything is dying down; You-Know-Who has been dead for four years.”

“Actually,” Draco said, leaning forward. “I disagree. Part of the reason why I came over here was to tell you that that case you gave us, the one where the Alohomora charm was used at a Muggle household? Well, it turned out to be a murder case. Upon further investigation, we found two dead Muggles in the house, apparently stabbed to death.”

“Wow,” I said. “I knew it seemed odd. But why is this so significant?”

“Because the name of the killer is Julian Barnes, a wizard responsible for the death of twenty-six Muggles over the course of seven years.”

My eyes widened. “Twenty-six?”

Draco nodded. “Ten of them were children. So I came to say good work, Ginny, because little accidents are very common, and not a lot of people would have investigated something as simple as the use of Alohomora. Thanks to you, Julian’s locked away in Azkaban for a long time.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “You sound like my boss,” I said. “But thanks.”

He sat there for a minute, pushing up one of his sleeves, and I caught sight of the Dark Mark that was tattooed on his forearm. By now, I had gotten used to seeing it, and it was the only thing that reminded me of Draco’s dark past. Its color was no longer jet black and over the past few years, after Voldemort’s death, it had faded significantly into a grayish color.

“Is that ever going to go away?” I asked quietly, gesturing to his arm.

He stopped messing with his shirt and looked up at me. “I don’t think so. I believe the Dark Lord wanted to make it a permanent mark, so that his followers would never be able to truly escape him.”

His words were full of bitterness and regret, and I was sorry I had brought it up. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean to---“

Draco held up a hand to stop me. “It was my mistake,” he said firmly. He paused. “Listen, I came up here to ask you something...”

Suddenly, he was looking nervous, and I couldn’t help but smile to myself at a sight that I never would have imagined possible four years ago.

“It’s Friday,” he began, “and I was wondering if you, er, had any plans?”

I swallowed. “Well,” I said slowly, “Jonathon and I were going to spend some time together...”

His eyes flickered over to the ring that was on my finger, the one that had been there for nearly a year now.

“Oh,” he said. “I understand.”

Feeling terrible, I thought I should explain. “It’s just that, we haven’t seen each other for a week, and---“

“Don’t worry about it!” he told me. “Really. You have plans. Maybe some other time.” He stood up and turned to leave.

“Draco,” I said.

“Yes?”

“Have a good weekend.”

A smile spread across his face, but it did not reach his eyes. “You too, Ginny.”

As the door shut behind him, I felt even worse than before, if it was at all possible. I had always thought he must be lonely, living by himself in a giant mansion. He had dated occasionally but it never lasted long, and I found myself wondering what we would have done if I hadn’t had plans with Jonathon. He probably would have taken me to dinner at a nice restaurant and made me laugh the whole time. He was a good friend.

But Draco needed someone else, someone that he could share his life with and go home to every night. Since we became friends, I cared about him, and I knew that he deserved the happiness that I myself had been feeling since I met Jonathon. So as I sat in my office trying to finish my mountain of paperwork I hoped that soon, Draco would find love.

xxx

“For God’s sake, Jonathon, tell me what’s bothering you,” I said, exasperated. He had been acting distant all night, and I could tell something was on his mind. All through dinner, he seemed lost in thought over something, and it was getting on my nerves.

After dropping our plates into the sink I turned around to face him, but was startled when I saw that Jonathon’s face was so pale. “Are you alright?” I asked gently, walking to the table and putting my hand on his forehead.

“I’m fine,” he said, reaching up and moving my hand.

“Yeah, right, Jonathon, you look like you just saw a ghost!”

“Ginny,” he said quietly, “Can you sit down for a minute?”

Perplexed, I sat down in front of him. “Jonathon, is something wrong...?”

He sighed and averted his eyes. “I... have something to tell you.”

I stared blankly at him, realizing that this couldn’t be anything good. He continued.

“I wish there was a better way to say this but... Ginny, I can’t... I can’t marry you.”

My heart skipped a beat, and I did not like the expression on his face. “W-what?” I stammered. “Listen, it’s okay if you’re scared, we can wait...”

But he shook his head. “I can’t.”

“But... Jonathon, I love you!”

“Ginny, please don’t---“

“Look at me!” I said forcefully.

He stopped avoiding my gaze and stared into my eyes. “I care about you. I’d never want to hurt you, but... I’m in love with someone else.”

I felt winded; all air seemed to have escaped my lungs as I tried to process his betrayal. It was impossible. It had to be some kind of sick joke. How could he do this to me?

I put my face in my hands as he spoke, feeling hurt and anger fill my body with every word that escaped his lips.

“I never wanted to hurt you,” he repeated. “I can’t control my feelings, Ginny, it just... happened. I tried to forget her but I couldn’t. I love her.”

Slowly, I lifted my head up to face him. I couldn’t believe it. I felt as if I had been slapped across the face, and I stared at him in disbelief.

“Ginny, please don’t... Don’t look at me like that...” he pleaded, reaching for my hand, but I jerked it away.

“Ginny,” he repeated. I could see the pity in his eyes, but there was not a trace of guilt. It made me sick to watch him try to justify what he had done. “It’s not like I did it on purpose...”

“Don’t even tell me that,” I said forcefully, finding my voice. I refused to let him see how much he had hurt me. “You can’t say that this was an accident. You had a choice, Jonathon, and you made the wrong one.”

“I didn’t choose to fall in lo---“

“You were supposed to be in love with me!” I cried, hardly believing what I was hearing. I had given him everything, and this was what I got in return? Was our entire relationship a lie?

He shook his head. “I’m sorry, I just---“

“No. No! I don’t want to hear it!” I yelled, standing up. “You’re choosing her, aren’t you?”

Jonathon sighed, and then nodded. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. I’m sorry.”

“You’re not sorry. You’re a liar, and you’re a cheater. You destroyed this relationship and walked out on me when I have been nothing but loyal to you! I can’t forgive you for this, Jonathon!”

I yanked the ring off my finger and slammed it on the table in front of him. “Take this to her,” I told him viciously. “Her standards are low enough to be dating a jackass like you, so I don’t think she’d have a problem with wearing a second-hand ring. Now get out.”

I watched as he stood up, silently grabbing my engagement ring and slipping it into his pocket. He turned to leave, but when he got to the door, he stopped and faced me again. “I really am sorry,” he said weakly.

Despite my best efforts at holding my feelings in, I felt tears well up in my eyes as I saw him apologize for something that I could never forgive. “Please,” I whispered. “Just go, Jonathon. You’ve done enough.”

So he left. As soon as he shut the door I sank into a chair and cried until no more tears would come. I kept thinking of the day we met, and how I thought I could trust him with my life. And I thought of my family... they had all been so happy for me when Jonathon proposed. He had helped bring my family joy again. How could I tell them that it had all been a lie; that it was over?

I stood up shakily and grabbed a tissue from my kitchen counter. As I wiped my eyes, a picture of Jonathon and me caught my eye. We were waving happily at the camera, our faces full of laughter, but I wondered if he was already cheating on me that moment, and the picture was only a memento of his charade.

At the thought I got some Firewhiskey and poured myself a good amount of it while I stared at the picture of us. I wondered what I might have done to make him cheat on me. I thought I had been everything he wanted, but apparently I wasn’t good enough.

I felt a few tears stream down my face, so I took the picture and threw it in the trash. I needed to go somewhere where I wouldn’t be constantly reminded of how I had wasted the past year of my life with a man who never loved me. I needed to talk to someone, but I couldn’t go to my family because I didn’t think I could handle their disappointment. I didn’t want them to feel the pain I myself was feeling.

So I grabbed my coat and Apparated to the first place that came to my mind: the Malfoy Mansion.

---

The night was dark and stormy, and when I materialized in front of the Malfoy Mansion I was immediately soaked with rain. I made my way up the walkway, feeling my clothes sticking to my body and my wet hair around my face.

Part of me didn’t know what I was doing there, but there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that I would be welcome. So I clung to that small bit certainty and didn’t hesitate when I reached up and knocked on the door. I waited just a few moments until I heard faint footsteps inside, and the door swung open.

Draco stood there for a minute, still in his work clothes, looking completely aghast at the sight of me. “Ginny?”

“Hi Draco,” I said, suddenly aware that I must have looked completely mad, standing in the rain outside of his house so late at night. “Can I come in?”

“Yes! I mean, of course you can,” Draco replied, and he held the door open for me.

I stepped inside the exquisite front room, its marble flooring stretching out in front of me and a large staircase leading upstairs. Instead of the typical chandelier, Draco’s house had a magnificent stone lantern hanging from the ceiling. There were serpents wrapped around its massive frame and it emitted a warm glow that lit up the entire room.

Of course, I had been there before on numerous occasions. Draco often hosted the Ministry’s holiday balls and other gatherings, to which I’d usually attend with Jonathon. Tonight, though, was my first time alone with him at his house, and I suddenly realized just how large and intimidating it was.

I heard the door shut behind me and I turned to face Draco, who still looked slightly out of sorts.

“You’re drenched,” he said, pulling out his wand and giving it a complicated wave. I instantly felt my clothes become dry and warm, and even my hair became light and fluffy again.

“Thanks,” I murmured.

He stood there awkwardly for a minute, during which I started to wonder what I was doing there. Perhaps it was best that I left. He was obviously uncomfortable, and it must have been rude to just show up, unannounced...

“Let’s sit down,” Draco told me, interrupting my thoughts. I hesitated for a moment, then followed him down the hall to a cozy sitting room with a roaring fire burning in the fireplace.

I sank into a large leather couch, scanning the room with mild interest. I had never been there before, but I supposed there were many places in the vast mansion that I had never seen �“ or been allowed to see.

“Er, would you like a drink?” Draco asked.

“Sure,” I replied. I watched him get two wine glasses from a cabinet and grab a bottle from a small wine rack.

“Is this all right?” he asked as he sat on the couch opposite me. “It’s Muggle wine, I only just tried it a few weeks ago and I had to get some myself.”

“Oh, yes, I’ve had it before. It was my dad who told me about it, only this time I don’t think it was his fascination with Muggles that got him interested, it seems many wizards have been drinking it lately.”

Draco smiled politely as he poured us both a glass of wine, but the mention of my father had created a tense silence between us.

My father, who had normally been the one to accept everyone’s differences (Muggles, for one thing), had made it quite clear that he did not approve of Draco working for the Ministry. In fact, his hatred for the Malfoys did not allow him to see the man that I saw. In his eyes, Draco would always be the son of a Death Eater, and his past was as permanent as the mark on his arm.

Contemplating this, I took a large gulp of wine, but lowered my glass when I saw that Draco was watching me, his expression suddenly serious.

“Ginny,” Draco said softly, “why did you come here tonight?”

I sipped my wine again while he stared at me intently, not wanting to face the truth but knowing that I’d have to eventually. I set my glass down and answered, “Because I knew you would let me in.”

“What happened?” he asked me gently.

I turned to look at the fire, and stared at the large flames that danced in front of me. I thought of everything that had happened that night: Jonathon’s strange behavior, his confession, how I had so quickly given him back the ring and refused to forgive him, and all the nasty things I said to hide how much I hurt inside. My eyes began to water and before I knew it, tears were sliding down my face, and I was powerless to stop them.

“Ginny,” I heard Draco’s alarmed voice say, and I finally looked at him again.

“It’s Jonathon,” I whispered.

“What?” Draco said sharply. “What did he do? Did he hurt you?”

Hearing the concern in his voice made me give him a watery smile. “No. At least, not in the way you think.”

“Then what---?”

“We’re not engaged anymore,” I told him. Absentmindedly, I touched the place where my ring used to be, and I saw his eyes glance down and see that it was missing.

“Well, is this... something you can work out?”

I shook my head. “No, Draco, he... cheated on me.” Once I had said it out loud, I felt a lump form in my throat, so I downed the rest of my wine and grabbed the bottle to pour myself more.

“Oh, God, I’m so sorry.”

“He told me tonight. I had to ask him what was wrong, because he didn’t have enough guts to come out and say it,” I said bitterly. “I don’t know anything about her, and I don’t want to know anything about her, but she must be something special. I mean, he picked her over me, didn’t he? I wonder how much better she is...”

“Don’t say that,” Draco said. “She’s not better than you.”

I sipped my wine and looked at him doubtfully. “How would you know that?”

“Look, Jonathon is an idiot. A complete moron. It doesn’t matter what he thinks.”

“And why is that?”

“Because he never realized how lucky he was. He threw away the best thing that will ever happened to him for a girl who can’t even compare to you.”

I didn’t know what to say. I simply stared at Draco until he leaned forward and took my hand.

“Listen,” he said softly. “You will find someone, one day, that will be able to appreciate you for who you are. He will never stop loving you, and he will be so devoted to you that he will never even think of betraying you like this.”

“But how do you know that?” I whispered, pulling my hand from his grasp. “How do you know that Jonathon wasn’t the one I was supposed to end up with, and I just threw the ring in his face and ended it?” I wiped my eyes and sipped some more wine while I waited for him to answer.

“You’re not the one who ended it, Ginny. He’s the one who made that choice to go off with a girl and let himself fall in love with her. He’s the one who told you he couldn’t marry you. He’s the one that made that mistake, not you. You can’t blame yourself for refusing to put up with a man who didn’t even respect you enough to remain faithful!”

I put my empty wine glass down and stood up. I felt a little light-headed, and I couldn’t think of a good argument to what he said. I took a few steps towards the fire, once again entranced at the sight of the bright orange flames, and then spoke. “I hope you’re right, Draco.”

He stood up and walked behind me without saying a word. I felt his hands slide over my stomach and wrap around me, pulling me to him. I laid my head back against his chest, closing my eyes for a minute and letting his warmth spread through my body.

Then, barely knowing what I was doing, I slowly turned and gazed up at him. When our eyes locked, I thought of nothing but the person whose embrace gave me a sense of security I’d never felt before. I paid no attention to anything else as Draco lightly tucked a strand of my hair behind me ear, but when he leaned down to kiss me, I was brought to my senses.

I don’t know what I was expecting him to do, but for some reason I didn’t think he’d do that. When our lips touched, I was so startled that I immediately pushed him away from me. We stood there staring at each other for what felt like forever, and the only sound that could be heard was the crackling fire. Then, Draco spoke.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t have...” And he hurried out of the room.

Stunned, I reached up and touched my lips, where he had kissed me only moments before, and found that I did not regret it. And before I knew it, I was walking out the door after him, thinking only of the source of comfort that I felt I had to have.

I caught sight of him walking into a room upstairs and shutting the door, so I made my way up the staircase after him. All sense of reason left me as I went to the closed door and turned its handle.

The room was dark, but the light I had let in immediately fell upon Draco, who was sitting at the edge of the bed with his face in his hands.

I stepped inside and shut the door behind me, looking fixedly at his dark outline. A second later he looked up and saw me standing in the middle of the room. When he stood up, nothing else seemed to matter except the man in front of me, inching closer and closer by the second.

By the time he had kissed me tenderly once more, I was barely aware of what I was doing. Our lips met again and again, each time with such passion that we were laying down on the bed before I even realized what was happening.

All thoughts of my family and of Jonathon left my mind, and not once did I begin to comprehend the possible consequences of my actions. I forgot to stop and think, instead letting myself be swept up in an act that I thought I so desperately needed but, upon waking up early the next morning, I would deeply regret.

---

I woke up the next morning feeling particularly groggy. At first, it took me a moment to assess the situation. Sunlight was pouring out from a nearby window, spilling over the tangle of sheets among which I lay. I squinted, the brightness of the sun making my already aching head throb.

Then I felt someone’s arm under my neck. I slowly turned to my left and saw, to my horror, Draco Malfoy lying next to me. And that’s when it hit me. With a rush of memories and images flashing through my mind, I remembered exactly what had happened the night before, and how I ended up in bed with Draco Malfoy.

“Oh my God,” I groaned, sitting up and pulling the sheets around my body. What the hell did I do?

I immediately felt him stir beside me but couldn’t bring myself to look at him. I had started feeling extremely awkward and vulnerable, so I slid out of bed, looking around for my clothes. But I could feel his eyes on me, and, after making sure the sheets wrapped around me were secure, I turned to face him.

Our eyes locked immediately, and for a moment I just stood there staring at him, completely captivated as I gazed into his eyes. They were so full of emotion that I couldn’t tell what he was feeling, and after a few seconds I had to look away, overwhelmed.

“Here,” he said, getting out of bed and bending down to pick up my clothes. “I’ll let you get dressed,” he told me quietly, handing me the small bundle. I took them, and our hands brushed against each other. My stomach did a little back flip and I found that my mouth was too dry to speak, so I let him exit the room in silence.

Part of me wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. I don’t think I ever remembered being in such a strange and awkward position, but I knew that I couldn’t just leave on these terms. I was going to have to talk to him at some point, so I might as well get it over with now. It was the lesser of two evils: I could either sort things out there or go home, which is what I had been avoiding in the first place.

I slipped on the dress I had been wearing the night before, and was painfully reminded of who I had worn it for. It had always been Jonathon’s favorite dress of mine, and I had been so excited to be wearing it on our special evening together. But looking back, I realized that he never even commented on my outfit that night. I should have known then that he wasn’t the man I thought he was.

Feeling slightly sick to my stomach, I grabbed my shoes and exited the room. As I shut the door behind me, I saw an image of a messy bedroom with sheets and various clothes scattered about, and it made me feel even sicker than before.

I strode down the hallway, the marble flooring cold against my bare feet. I didn’t know where Draco had gone, but I thought the kitchen would be a likely place.

When I pushed the door open, I saw him sitting at a small yet intricately carved wooden table in the middle of the room. He held in his hands a cup of tea and was staring blankly at the wall in front of him. I noticed he was still in his boxers, and I found myself wishing he had gotten dressed. There was nothing wrong with his body by any means, but things were uncomfortable enough.

Nevertheless, I walked to the chair across from him and sat down. Without saying a word, Draco pushed his cup of tea towards me. It was practically full.

“Unless you want your own,” he muttered.

I grasped the cup and took a long sip. “That’s all I wanted,” I told him, and set the mug down.

“So,” Draco said, glancing up at me. He looked a little guilty, but there was a seriousness in his tone that made me realize he knew how freaked out I was, despite the calm demeanor I had attempted to maintain.

“Can we just forget it?” I asked simply, but already knew the answer.

He sighed. By now, I knew better than to assume it merely showed that he was deep in thought, but instead recognized it as his disappointment that I was willing to forget the entire incident. It was then that I suddenly wondered how my heart had become so hardened after it had been only been broken for such a short time.

“We can’t just... erase this, Ginny...”

“Dammit,” I cussed under my breath.

He paused. “You regret it that much, don’t you?” Draco asked. There was a trace of bitterness and hurt in his voice but I chose to ignore it.

“Well, we sure didn’t use any protection,” I retorted.

Draco groaned and rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands.

“God,” I whispered. “It wasn’t supposed to happen this way...”

He raised his head and studied me closely until the realization dawned on him. “Was I your first?” he asked me.

I didn’t answer. Instead, I looked down at my lap, feeling the worst feeling so far: shame. How could I have let this happen?

He sighed. “I took your virginity, didn’t I?” he asked me, quieter this time.

I felt the disgrace and embarrassment burn inside of me as I slowly nodded, not even looking in his direction. Though I could not see them I knew my cheeks were red and I determinedly avoided his gaze.

We sat in silence for a long time. I wanted to leave so badly but I dreaded the prospect of me going home to a house full of memories that I just wanted to forget. However, as each agonizing minute passed, I wondered if going home wouldn’t be so bad after all.

“Did it mean anything to you?” Draco asked abruptly.

“I- I don’t know, Draco.” I paused. “We’d been drinking. It wasn’t an act of love, it was... rash, and stupid...”

I quickly stood up and got my shoes, but when I turned to leave he caught my hand and stopped me. “Ginny,” he said. “What if it did mean something?”

I knew what he was doing. But even as he tried to tell me that he had feelings for me I could not let myself think, for one minute, that it could ever be. I ignored my heart and focused my attention on logic, which was telling me to end it now before it got any worse.

“It didn’t,” I said, sliding my hand from his grasp and grabbing my coat.

“Ginny, wait---“

“Just let me leave,” I practically begged him, and headed to the door. I was almost there, if he could only make it easy for me---

“I love you.”

I halted. It felt as if a lightning bolt had just struck me, and all I could do was stand there and listen to him beg for me to come back.

“I have for... a long time. Don’t throw this away, Ginny,” he said earnestly. “We could be together, we could---“

“No, Draco,” I said, turning to look at him. “It could never work.”

He opened his mouth to protest but I shook my head and backed away, holding up my hand to stop him before I had to hear any more of his pleas. “I could never love you,” I told him. “Never.”

I saw the hurt in his eyes immediately, and the impact of my words seemed to have left him frozen with shock. I turned around before I had to stare at the devastation in his features any longer, not allowing him to see the tears that had welled up in my own eyes.



Did I love him? I don’t know. But I cared for him so deeply that I was more than capable. There was no doubt in my mind that I turned my back on something special, and it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. Yet I told myself that our families were too different, and our worlds too diverse to ever be able to come together and merge as one. I truly believed that the history between us ran so deep that nothing, not even love, could penetrate the wall dividing our lives. With those words, I knew I would break his heart. But I wasn’t prepared for how it would crush mine.

If only I had known then that as I walked down the stone pathway from his mansion and towards the towering gates surrounding it that something else besides a deep affection for Draco was growing inside me; something that, no matter how many words were said, neither of us could stop.

I was pregnant.

It had been four weeks. Four weeks since I heard my fiancé confess the unthinkable, and four weeks since I had broken Draco’s heart because I refused to return his love. Had it really been that long?

Every day I thought of Jonathon, and despite my anger I missed him so much that I often had to force myself to get up each morning. Yet even though I resented him for putting me through so much pain, by the end of the day, I didn’t miss him any less.

I was completely blindsided; one moment, everything in my life had been falling neatly into place, but the next, Jonathon completely destroyed my foundation, and everything came tumbling down. I struggled every day to pick up the pieces of my shattered life, pushing through each passing moment with a heavy heart. I promised myself that I wouldn’t be one of those girls who shut down because the man in their life was gone, but he was almost always on my mind.

Almost always. For there was another that plagued my thoughts, though I was able to suppress most of my feelings about him �“ for the time being. Little did I know, the more I pushed my true feelings about Draco to the back of my mind and the bottom of my heart, the harder they’d come back and hit me later.

When I wasn’t missing Jonathon, I was missing Draco, whose usually frequent visits to my office became a rare occasion. The few times when he actually did enter my office instead of sending someone else, he barely looked at me and never said a word unless he had to.

It frustrated and saddened me that our friendship had completely disintegrated so quickly, but who was I to complain? I was the one who came to Draco’s house that night and followed him into his bedroom, and I was the one that left him standing there all alone in that empty house. I couldn’t blame him for avoiding me after what I said to him.

Yet I still felt it was better to end it sooner than later. Just the idea of a Weasley and a Malfoy actually falling in love was laughable, and I would not let myself begin to believe in something that was nothing more than a feeble dream. It wouldn’t last anyway �“ it was too soon after Jonathon. I never had any time to heal before I jumped into a mess with someone else.

So that’s what I decided. No matter what my feelings were, no matter what I was capable of, I could not fall in love with Draco Malfoy.

My strength was tested, however, when I knelt down on the bathroom floor one morning, vomiting into my bathroom toilet. As I stood up shakily and wiped my mouth, I wondered if I was sick. After all, I hadn’t been feeling myself lately and I’d thrown up the morning before, too. And that’s when it hit me: morning sickness.

I froze in shock at my realization. Just the idea of me, pregnant, was crazy. Absolutely absurd. Yet not impossible.

Once I started thinking about it, everything made sense, from my missed period to my feelings of nausea over the past few days. Yet I continued to tell myself that just because I hadn’t been feeling well didn’t mean that I was carrying a baby. I mean, really. It couldn’t be.

Nevertheless, I called in sick that day so that I could go see a professional - just in case. Though I had mostly convinced myself that I was not pregnant, and my symptoms were due to a bit more stress than usual, I thought it would be better to prove it to myself and to the little voice in my head that kept telling me it wasn’t just a coincidence.

After I had a few bites of toast, I got dressed quickly, wanting to get it over with. Before I left, I looked at myself in the mirror to make sure I could pass as a Muggle. After all, it wasn’t a Healer I was going to see �“ it was a doctor.

Normally, I would have done what most witches did and visit a Healer at the small clinic in London for expectant mothers. However, when Ron and Hermione had their first child, I remembered Hermione telling me that Lavender Brown worked there as a nurse. According to Hermione, Lavender had turned out to be “quite pleasant”. But I couldn’t take any chances. Knowing Lavender’s big mouth, half the city of London would have known of my illegitimate child by the time I Apparated home. Not that I thought I had one.

So I decided to take my chances with a Muggle doctor. Despite my mother’s beliefs that they are nothing more than lunatics and quacks, I actually have a bit more respect for them. After all, it is well-known fact in the Wizarding World that Muggle doctors are much more accurate in doing pregnancy tests. And right then, I wanted the right answers.

Unfortunately, that meant that I had to travel in a completely non-magical way. There was a bus stop near my house, but by the time I walked over to it I’d practically be at the clinic. So I set off on foot, my stomach twisting uncomfortably the entire time. I kept telling myself to calm down, that I wasn’t pregnant, that I couldn’t be, but apparently my body knew otherwise. As a result, by the time I walked inside the clinic I immediately had to run to the bathroom, where I threw up. Again.

The woman at the front desk asked me if I was alright as soon as I came out.

“Yes,” I told her, “I’m fine. I mean, it’s just... nerves.”

She smiled sympathetically. “I understand. If you feel up to it, could you sign these forms for me?” she asked, handing me a clipboard and a pen.

I nodded and took a seat in the waiting room. Scanning the forms, I grabbed the pen she’d given me but found that I had no idea how to use it. My dad, of course, had told me about Muggle pens before, but this one was different. There was no cap and I didn’t see the ink at all.

“Er...” I began, standing up and walking to the secretary. “I think this pen is broken.”

“Oh, really?” she asked, taking the pen from my hand. She stared at it for a moment, then pushed a button at the end of it. With a little click, the ink popped out.

“Oh,” I said, embarrassed. Why the hell did it have to be so complicated?

The woman grinned. “That’s okay, you’re probably just not thinking straight.”

I watched as she bent down over her work and began to write. There was a little heart at the end of her pen that lit up every time it hit the paper.

Muggles think they’re so clever.

I returned to my seat, and not long after I had everything filled out. As I sat and waited, my mind was racing, and I was almost ready to make another trip to the bathroom when the secretary told me the doctor could see me.

I stood up and nodded, not trusting myself to open my mouth, and walked down the hall to the room I was told to wait in. Not long after, the door opened and a woman stepped in looking about as old as my mother. Her brown hair was streaked with gray and pulled back into a bun at the base of her neck. She wore a white coat and was already smiling when she entered the room.

“Good morning, sweetie,” she said. “How are you today?”

“I’m fine, thank you,” I lied. In reality, I had never felt worse.

“That’s good. Let’s go ahead and get started. Are you alone today?”

“Yes,” I answered. “I’m alone.”

And that’s when I realized that there was a time I’d felt worse �“ it was right then.



Pregnant. Expecting. With child. Carrying a baby.

All those words were running through my head as I walked home, completely stunned. Everything felt so surreal, as if I’d never gotten up that morning and was still dreaming.

But the harsh reality was that I had woken up that morning, gotten sick, and seen a doctor, on the off-chance that I really was pregnant. There, I learned the awful truth: I was carrying Draco Malfoy’s child.

Walking home, I suddenly realized that I’d have to tell my family. I couldn’t hide the fact that Jonathon and I were broken up forever and I certainly couldn’t hide a pregnancy. I wondered how disappointed they’d be when they found out I’d lost my fiancé and gotten pregnant all in the same night.

I entered my house, feeling a lump forming in my throat. I dropped my bag and tried to avert my eyes from the cluster of frames hanging on the wall, containing pictures of Jonathon and my family.

I felt like my whole world was crashing down around me, and I was powerless to stop it. Dazed, I walked into my bedroom. The mirror on the opposite wall immediately caught me eye, so I strode over to it, staring at its reflection.

I recognized my red hair and brown eyes, but that person was a stranger to me. Who was this girl that had lost her fiancé and done nothing to stop him? Who was this girl that had avoided her family when she was most in need and instead lost her virginity to the last person she could ever be with? Who was this girl that had been so irresponsible, she wound up carrying his child?

I glanced down at my stomach, trying to imagine myself pregnant. I spread my hand across its flat surface, knowing that it wouldn’t be long before a little bulge had begun to form. A tear fell down my cheek as I realized that I couldn’t do it alone, but I had pushed everyone away.

A feeling of helplessness swept through me and I turned away from my reflection, tears sliding down my face. Then I noticed something sitting on my desk, partially concealed by pieces of parchment strewn across the top. I picked it up.

It was a glass paperweight in the shape of a rose, and the light from my window made it sparkle with iridescence. It was a gift from none other than Draco Malfoy, given to me a couple of years ago for my birthday. At the thought, I felt hurt and anger fill my body. I wasn’t the only irresponsible one - he was just as much at fault. In fact, Draco was even more wrong. My heart had just been broken, and I wasn’t thinking clearly, but he went ahead and let it happen. He let things go to far, and now look at the consequences.

That’s when I spun around and threw the rose as hard as I could at my mirror, which cracked significantly. The rose smashed, little pieces of glass scattering all over my floor.

Then I sank to the ground, crying bitterly. What had I done?

The next morning I woke up with a pounding headache. I had barely been awake for five minutes before I got sick. It could have been the morning sickness, but my throbbing head certainly didn’t help. And when I checked the time, I felt a searing pain behind my eyes when I realized I had to be at work in ten minutes.

I got dressed quickly and barely had time to run my fingers through my hair before I was out the door. Normally, I’d be Apparating, but pregnant witches were advised to avoid Apparition due to the possibility of injuring the baby. It was definitely an inconvenience, especially when I only had five minutes to get to work on time, but it made sense. The sensation was uncomfortable enough for me, so I can only imagine what would do to a tiny, frail baby. I only hoped my new mode of transportation wouldn’t draw too much attention.

I was able to catch a bus, thankful that I carried a little bit of Muggle money with me now that I lived on my own. I’ve sort of taken after my dad in some ways, finding Muggles more interesting than most wizards would. Truthfully, I’ve begun to think that it’s a bit ignorant to be living in the same world as Muggles and know nothing about them. I think he would agree.

The bus was crowded, but I was able to find a row with both seats empty. I sat down, not wanting to sit next to anyone in case I did get sick. I rested my head against the cool window, trying not to think of my aching head or how queasy I was feeling. I closed my eyes, trying to relax and pretend that I was curled up in my bed, warm beneath the blankets and�“

“Excuse me, is this seat taken?”

I opened my eyes and saw a young man standing in the isle. He was wearing a suit, but his shirt was partially un-tucked and his tie hung loosely around his neck. His sandy-colored hair was short and untidy, making it look as if he had just rolled out of bed. He couldn’t have been much older than me.

“No,” I said, grabbing my purse off the seat next to me and putting it on my lap. “It’s not.”

He thanked me and sat down, setting a leather briefcase on the ground beside him. Then he turned back to me, and I was momentarily startled when I looked into his eyes �“ they were a vivid blue, and were absolutely piercing.

“I’m Chris,” he said, holding out his hand.

“Ginny,” I replied.

Chris smiled. “Nice to meet you.”

I nodded, but said nothing else. I was finding it hard to be as friendly as him when I felt like I was going to be sick any minute.

We both sat in silence for a few minutes until I heard a shrill ringing. I turned to my left and saw Chris digging around in his pocket, finally pulling out a cell phone and flipping it open.

“Hi, honey,” he said. “You did? What is it?... Yeah, I like it...” He laughed. “I think so... That’s it? Okay... I’ll talk to you later. I love you... bye.”

Chris hung up his phone, and put it back in his pocket. He sat there smiling for a minute until he turned to me.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Um, sure.”

“Do you know anyone named Draco?”

Chris laughed at my puzzled expression. “I’m sorry, that came from nowhere. That was my wife on the phone. She’s pregnant,” he explained, and his face seemed to glow with pride at that statement. “We’re trying to think of baby names that are uncommon.”

Draco’s face flashed through my mind, causing my already nauseated stomach to lurch uncomfortably. “I do, actually. I work with him.” I was trying to ignore the jealousy that had flared up inside of me when I thought of Chris’s wife, happily married and pregnant. But it was hard.

That’s the way it should be, I thought to myself. Not like this. Not all alone, carrying the child of the last person on earth you could ever be with. I felt my eyes start to water and I quickly looked away, blinking rapidly. Thankfully, Chris didn’t seem to notice.

“Really?” he responded. “Hmm...”

Right then, the bus slowed to a halt, and I realized it was my stop. I stood, grabbing my purse.

Chris looked up. “You get off here?”

I nodded.

“I’ll get out of your way.” He stood up and moved into the isle, giving me room to leave.

“Thanks,” I said.

“No problem,” he replied. “It was nice meeting you. Maybe I’ll see you again sometime.”

I smiled. “Maybe.” I walked to the front of the bus, where I stepped out the door and onto the sidewalk. My head felt even worse once I was moving around, but I tried not to think about it as I quickly made my way to the telephone booth. It was empty, but that was because I was late �“ and that certainly didn’t make me feel any better.

Once I stepped into my office, I immediately saw a large stack of documents sitting on my desk. I sighed, looking at the clock. I was only twenty minutes late, and already far behind.

I crossed the room and sank into my chair, where I rested my elbows on my desk and held my head in my hands. I took a few shaky breaths, trying to make myself relax but failing miserably. Why did I have to get the headache from hell along with the usual morning sickness? It was nothing short of torture.

Yet as much as I tried to wish it away, I kept feeling worse and worse until finally, I knew that I couldn’t make it. I stood up, rushing out of my office and down the hallway, not even apologizing to the man I ran into on the way. I barely had enough time to shut the bathroom door before I bent over the toilet and threw up.

Already, my eyes were watering, and I sank to my knees, feeling weak and clammy. I was so distracted that I didn’t even notice when someone walked in and shut the door.

“Are you okay?” they asked, making me jump.

I looked up and saw Draco standing there, clearly torn about what he should do. But before I could answer, another surge of sickness swept over me and I got sick again.

I felt him walk up behind me and kneel down, but was too nauseated to do anything. Even as he tenderly pulled my hair back out of my face, I did nothing but close my eyes and fervently wish that I could be somewhere �“ anywhere - else.

We sat there for a minute, during which I had already begun to feel a bit better. I turned around shakily and took a paper towel, which I used to wipe my mouth. Draco sat in front of me now, so I forced myself to look up at him, trying to forget about everything that had happened between us.

As I looked at him, I could tell that he’d changed somehow. His eyes were gray, yet dull, and the way he looked at me made me realize that even weeks later, he was still in pain. Feeling suddenly guilty, I looked away and muttered, “Thank you.”

Draco shrugged. Neither of us said anything, so he stood up and turned to leave, but hesitated at the door. “Are you sick?” he asked me, turning around again.

I stared at him. I knew that I had to tell him, and I knew that it would have to be soon. But there was such sadness in his features that I just could not bring myself to do it.

“Yeah,” I said, also standing up. “I think it’s the flu or something. I’ll be fine.”

He nodded, and we stood there looking at each other for a minute before he broke his gaze and left.

As I watched him go, I wondered when I’d have to tell him the news. Soon, I told myself. I thought I had plenty of time to wait until the time was right.

I was in for a rude awakening.



When I got home that evening, I was, thankfully, feeling much better. My headache had, for the most part, gone away, and I was even able to stomach a bowl of vegetable soup for dinner.

I had just taken the last bite of my meal when I heard a faint tapping at my window, and turned around to see a small brown owl hovering in front of it.

I got up and swung my window open, allowing it to fly past me and land, rather clumsily, on the table where I’d been sitting. It stood and looked at me expectantly, a small roll of parchment attached to its leg.

“Alright, alright,” I said, crossing the room and reaching out to untie the letter.

For a second, I thought the owl looked a bit familiar, but I couldn’t think where I may have seen it before. And once I gave it a large owl treat, it hooted softly in appreciation and quickly flew away, so my attention went to the parchment on my kitchen table.

Sinking down into my chair, I unrolled the parchment and read the fancy print, which was written in shimmering gold ink. Once I realized who it was from, I felt a jolt of shock and surprise. But as I read on, it quickly turned to anger, and once I was finished I noticed that I was gripping the letter very tightly.

I was so stunned that I just sat there for a minute, staring blankly at the glittering words in front of me. It wasn’t until my eyes had filled with tears, clouding my vision so that all I could see was a golden blur, that I snapped out of my trance.

“No,” I said out loud to myself, quickly standing up. “I’m not crying.”

And I almost convinced myself as I crumpled the letter and threw it into the trash, glaring fiercely. But a few more tears slipped out, much to my annoyance, and I brushed them away hastily.

That was when I heard a loud crack outside my front door, and I knew that I had a visitor. I closed my eyes, suddenly realizing that I should have expected someone to stop by.

When there was a soft knocking at the door, I turned and walked the short distance from my kitchen, dreading to see whom I would face. I took a deep breath as I grasped the handle, and swung the door open to reveal my brother.

“Fred?” I managed to say.

He looked at me, his look of confusion suddenly becoming deeply concerned. “Ginny,” he said seriously, “I think we need to talk.”

Fred held up a piece of parchment, and I knew that it must be the same thing I had just disposed of moments before. I was somewhat stunned to see that he had gotten one, yet not surprised at all. Some people were just tactless.

I looked at the ground. “Okay,” was all I replied, and I led my brother to my small sitting room. He sat across from me, looking more and more worried at each passing moment.

Fred sighed. “Mum was so worried about you,” he told me quietly. “I volunteered to come and figure out what was going on, because she was so distraught.” He paused, a small smile creeping onto his lips. “And, I’m your favorite brother, after all.”

I forced a smile, but dropped my gaze, saying nothing. None of this really shocked me, because I should have known my family would react this way. Especially since they found out the way they did.

The letter I had received had been an invitation �“ a wedding invitation, for none other than Jonathon and, I assumed, the woman he’d left me for. But what bothered me the most wasn’t the fact that he would be happily married before I was, or that this was so soon after our break up. I just couldn’t believe that I had actually gotten an invitation in the first place. Thanks, Jonathon. Just rub it in. What had I ever seen in him?

So the fact that Fred was sitting in front of me, completely perplexed, didn’t really surprise me. But I was still less than enthusiastic about explaining the truth.

“Ginny?” Fred asked after a few minutes of silence.

I looked up at him and sighed. “We broke up about a month ago,” I admitted.

Shock flashed through his eyes, but he kept his voice even and calm. “What happened?”

I hung my head. “He met someone else,” I said simply.

“And it was just over? Just like that?”

“What the hell should I have done, stayed with him?” I snapped.

“I- no, Ginny, I didn’t mean-“

I held up my hand to stop him. “I’m sorry. I just... thought I was over this.”

Fred’s features softened. “You know you can always talk to me, Ginny. I wish you had come to me. Your family is always going to be there for you.”

Silently, I nodded.

“Are you alright?” he asked, and God, I can’t remember ever seeing him so worried; so serious. It scared me. Did I really look that bad?

I smiled. Or at least, I tried to. It came out as more of a grimace, and gave my brother no comfort whatsoever. “I’m fine,” I lied.

He looked at me dubiously. “You don’t look fine.” He reached forward and placed his hand on my knee. “Sometimes it helps to talk about it.”

I stared into my brother’s eyes. I don’t have a favorite sibling, but Fred and I had always had a special bond of some sort. I’ve always been able to trust him completely, even if I didn’t tell him every aspect of my life. And right then, I knew that no matter what I told him, Fred would never judge me. But I was so sure I’d only end up disappointing him, and I couldn’t handle that.

“I don’t need to talk about anything,” I told him, but my voice cracked and he saw my eyes watering before I had a chance to look away. I stood up and walked to my window, fighting to maintain my composure as I thought of the secret I was keeping from everyone.

“Ginny,” I heard Fred say, and within seconds he had enveloped me in his arms. He held me like only a brother could; he made me feel safe and loved and warm even in the darkest of times.

At first, I fought back the tears, frustrated because it seemed like I’d been crying a lot lately. But the longer my brother held me the harder it became, until finally, I let myself cry, and his embrace only tightened when I had run out of tears.

“Its okay, Ginny. Everything will be fine,” he told me.

Oh God, if only he knew.

It was half past noon and I was sitting in my office, nibbling on my sandwich as I stared off into space. I woke up that morning feeling so emotionally and physically drained that I barely had enough strength to drag myself out of bed. I still didn’t quite know how I made it to work.

Memories of my brother’s visit had been plaguing my thoughts all morning, and I knew that it was only a matter of time before I had to face the rest of my family to tell them about my other secret.

I sighed and dropped my sandwich, suddenly not hungry. I had to tell Draco. I would not be able to hide my pregnancy for long, because I’d be showing in a couple of months.

Showing, I thought to myself with a shudder. I had tried to imagine, on multiple occasions, what I would look like when a little bulge had formed, but I couldn’t. The entire experience was so surreal that I would often wake up and wonder if it was all a dream. That is, until my morning sickness kicked in.

I sighed. I couldn’t keep this from Draco any longer. He had a right to know, and I needed to lessen the burden that was weighing down on me. The problem was, I hadn’t seen him all morning. I had thought about it, and I decided that the best way would be to ask him, at the office, if we could get together and talk sometime. And then I could break the news to him.

At that moment, I heard a soft knocking at my door, and my thoughts were interrupted. It had to be Draco. My stomach suddenly in tight knots, I knew what I had to do. I sat up straight, trying to gather myself, and said, “Come in.”

The door opened, but someone other than Draco entered my office. He smiled at me, and I actually felt a little relieved.

“Hey, Ginny,” he said.

“Hi, David, I haven’t seen you in a while.”

David nodded and plopped down in the chair in front of my desk. His hair was a mess, as usual, but his vivid green eyes looked slightly troubled. “Do you have anything for Intelligence?” he asked.

“Here’s a few,” I said, handing him a small stack of folders, which were stuffed with bits of parchment.

He leaned forward and took them from me before sitting back in his chair.

“You look a little stressed,” I commented.

David shrugged and smiled reassuringly. “It’s no big deal. I’ve just been really busy today, with Draco gone and all.” He paused, leaning forward a bit and lowering his voice. “Speaking of which, what do you think about Draco?”

Confused, I responded, “What do you mean? He’s out sick, isn’t he?”

David’s brows furrowed. “Didn’t he tell you?”

“Tell me what?” I asked, perplexed.

He stared at me. “I thought you two were friends,” he muttered.

My thoughts immediately went to the baby. Friends? I wish. Try parents. “David, what are you talking about?”

He sighed. “Draco quit yesterday.”

“What? Why?”

“Apparently the only explanation he gave was that he had to leave immediately. He said it was urgent.”

My heart skipped a beat. “Leaving? For how long?”

David shrugged. “No one really knows. All Draco said was he had to leave and he didn’t know when he’d be coming back.”

I felt like I had just been slapped. Hard. All I could do was stare at David in disbelief as I tried to let the news sink in.

“When is he leaving?” I managed to say.

“Today, I heard.”

I shook my head. “This doesn’t make any sense.”

David stood up. “I know,” he said. “I don’t understand either. I’m sorry I had to be the one that told you, Ginny.”

“It’s fine,” I said. “Thank you for letting me know.”

He nodded and left the room, where I spent the remainder of my day keeping myself busy so that I could forget about Draco’s sudden departure. But as soon as my clock read five o’clock, I quickly gathered my things and left my office. I had to catch Draco before he left, and I had to tell him the truth.

It was now or never.

xxx

I was standing outside the Malfoy Mansion. Again. Only this time, it wasn’t raining. And I wasn’t sure if he would be there.

I reached up and knocked on the door, dreading the moment when I had to face him yet hoping it wasn’t too late at the same time.

Draco opened the door, but when he saw who it was, he gave me a pained look as if begging me to leave.

“Er, hi Draco,” I said uncertainly.

He said nothing, instead glancing down at his feet. He closed his eyes for a few seconds, and when they fluttered open again, his expression was blank.

“I’m packing,” he said curtly.

I took a deep breath. “I need to talk to you,” I said.

He stared at me. “What is this about?”

“It’s important,” I told him.

He sighed. “Fine. Come in.”

I stepped inside the enormous front room as Draco shut the door behind me. I turned to face him, but suddenly found that I didn’t know what to say.

“Is this about... what we did?” he asked me quietly. He stood with his hands in his pockets, looking not at me but at the marble flooring beneath his feet.

I hesitated, then answered slowly. “Well... yes. It is.”

Draco looked up at me, but I was surprised to see barely any emotion in his features. His face was expressionless and he seemed only mildly interested in what I had to say. His demeanor was so... detached, that I couldn’t help but feel annoyed.

“Look,” I said. “I don’t mean to keep bringing it up, it’s just that---“

“I’m sorry,” he said abruptly, and I faltered. I had been stunned into silence, for a moment, not because of what Draco had said, but because of the lack of emotion on his face when he said it. The way he apologized so guiltlessly reminded me of Jonathon’s countless apologies, which meant nothing because of the way he still tried to justify his actions. A familiar burning anger crept up inside of me and I completely forgot about what I had been trying to say.

“What?” I asked.

“I’m sorry that it ever happened,” Draco told me, calmly walking forward. The sound of his footsteps echoed around the room, and I turned around just as he stopped, his back to me.

I glanced up at the large lantern hanging from the ceiling above us. The light coming from it was dimmer than I remembered, and the serpents seemed so life-like that I had to look away, shivering slightly at the memories of my first year at Hogwarts.

Then Draco spoke again, making me jump. “Actually, you know what?” he said. “I’m not sorry. It meant something to me, and it had to have meant something to you, too.”

His sense of composure completely threw me off; I didn’t know if I should believe the words coming out of his mouth or the cold indifference he suddenly seemed to have.

“God, Draco, that doesn’t matter,” I said. “It was too soon...”

“But if I rejected you, you’d probably be pissed at me because I didn’t care about you enough to be there for you.”

“This isn’t just about you, Draco!” I said forcefully. “I had just broken up with my fiancé! Do you think that’s what I needed right then? I needed someone strong and sensible who would be there for me, not someone who’d take advantage of the situation for their own personal gain! It was selfish and---”

“Stop it!” he yelled. “You don’t have a right to call me selfish!”

“Oh, that’s right, your actions are just a reflection of how fucking altruistic you are!” I said sarcastically.

“Damnit, Ginny, this is not my fault! YOU started this entire thing when you came to my house a month ago in the middle of the night!”

“Well you’re the one that made the first move!”

“And you let me!”

“In case you’ve forgotten, I had a lot to drink that night!”

“Are you trying to say that the only reason you slept with me was because you were drunk?!”

“Maybe I am!”

“That’s bullshit and you know it!”

“Oh, and how the hell do you know that, Malfoy?!”

“You know you were more than willing when you came into my bedroom that night!”

“Oh yeah?! Well you shouldn’t have taken advantage of me! Who the hell would make a move when I had just broken up with my fiancé?! I was distraught and I was hurt and you let things go too far!”

“I let things go too far? What about you? If you had enough sense to stop me from kissing you then you damn well had enough sense to stop yourself from pursuing me!”

“You can’t deny that you wanted it too! That’s why you didn’t stop me!”

“And I’m the one to blame because I let it happen??”

“Yeah, you are!”

“Well fuck you, Ginny, because nothing like that is ever going to happen again. If you’re looking for the selfish one then you should take a look in the goddamn mirror and set yourself straight!”

“At least I’m not the one running away!”

“I’m not running away, I just refuse to deal with you anymore!”

“Oh, right, because this is all my fault.”

“Well it’s certainly not mine!”

“And how is that??”

“You’re the one who came to my house. You stayed. You drank. You let it get to the point where I kissed you and you followed me into my bedroom. You knew that I had feelings for you and you still let it happen when you had no intention of having a relationship! And when I told you I loved you that morning, you’re the one who walked away. You hurt me, so I have every right to be pissed off.”

“If you really loved me, Draco, then you wouldn’t have let it happen!”

“Maybe I let it happen because I did love you, and I thought you did too.”

A silence descended upon us, worse than any other I had ever experienced. We had been standing about five feet apart, screaming at each other, and within seconds neither of was saying a word.

He stood there, breathing heavily, his face flushed with anger. My own chest was heaving and my throat was already sore. I glared at him, hating him with every fiber of my being for putting me in this position.

“Well,” I said icily, “I guess it doesn’t matter anymore. It’s over. It’s done. Forget about it.”

“Good,” he spat. “We’re finished. I don’t even want to look at your fucking face. You can go back to your disgrace of a family and let them deal with your bullshit. You disgust me.”

His words stung painfully. I had forgotten how malicious he could be, because it had been a long time since I’d seen the old Draco resurface.

“That’s fine by me,” I said coolly, thinking of the best insult I could. “Besides, I could never decide which was worse �“ dating a Death Eater, or dating a traitor who got his own mother killed.”

Draco visibly recoiled, looking as if he had been slapped. “Get out,” was all he said through clenched teeth, and I left him, just as I had a month ago. Only this time, he didn’t try to stop me.

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A/N: I've been excited to post this, so let me know what you think! Some of you might be wondering when Ginny is ever going to tell Draco, but don't worry. I have a plan for this. (Muahaha).