Alarmed, the lady read on.

The lady’s hand remained still, every part of her incapable of movement except her eyes, which traveled across the rest of the page.

The article went on to talk about Dumbledore, but the lady’s eyes simply dived over it and reread the first sentence of the passage over and over, as though looking at it again and again would somehow change what was there.

"Ow!" the woman said, as the owl pecked her hand. "What’s your problem? Are you mad because I’m not paying you? ‘Cause if that’s your biggest problem, pal, then you don’t have anything to worry about, and you can just �“ "

She stopped abruptly. Taking out her anger on an owl was not going to solve her problems. Taking her anger out on anyone wouldn’t solve her problems. She sighed, gave the owl a treat as a way of apology, and sat back down, reading the first sentence of the article over and over: Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, was murdered last night by a teacher at his own school, Severus Snape. Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, was murdered last night by a teacher at his own school, Severus Snape. Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, was murdered last night by a teacher at his own school, Severus Snape…

She sighed and put her head in her hands. She had trusted him, she had thought she knew him. She had cared about him, and was nearly convinced that he cared about her…but now she could never see how she could love him again. He had betrayed her. He had been working for You-Know-Who all along. Why had she ever believed he had changed? The answer was easy enough: she wanted to. She needed to. She had always thought he could change, but she was wrong. No matter how she looked at it though, the truth remained:

Severus Snape had killed Dumbledore. Severus Snape had betrayed all who had trusted him. Severus Snape was still a Death Eater and had always been so. And Severus Snape, whether she liked it or not, was still her brother.

They had always been different, but she had loved him all the same. They were all that they had at times. Sure, they had fought, but she had always cared. But with another unpleasant jolt, she realized she cared no more.

She, Selena Snape, was one year younger than her brother. Her appearance more resembled their mother, with her straight brown hair that waved insanely in no particular order around the ends, brown eyes, and a slightly pointed nose. She had the same pale skin as her brother, and she had also been sorted into Slytherin; but she had never been taken with the Dark Side.

What had gone differently for the two of them? They had grown up in the same house; it wasn’t as though they were raised any differently…. Selena had always tried to understand Severus, but it had always been nearly impossible as they got older. Although after Severus had rejoined the right side (or so everyone thought), the two had become closer; writing letters and visiting occasionally. Selena had been so convinced that her brother had turned around, but apparently not…

She got out parchment and a quill to write a letter to Severus. She knew that she would probably never send it, and even if she did it would probably not get to him, as he’d be on the run now. But she needed to do this, so she dipped her quill into her ink and wrote:

She rolled up the parchment. When Apollo, her owl, saw this, he immediately flew down onto the table surface and stuck out his leg. She hesitated, but she knew that she would not be content with herself if she did not do this.

"It’s for Severus," said Selena, tying the parchment to his leg. "But I doubt that you �“ if you can’t find him, that’s alright."

Apollo hooted in response and flew out the window.

Selena sat back down, her appetite lost. She pushed away her half-eaten porridge and placed her head in one hand.

What had happened that made her and Severus so different? Why had he joined the Dark Side? Was it something that she’d had some control of? Or would it have happened no matter what?

Selena could remember the day that Severus had gotten his Hogwarts letter. At first, it was uncertain whether he would be allowed to go, as their father was a Muggle and hated all magical things. Their mother had not told him she was a witch until after they had married, and he didn’t take the news too well. Thankfully, their mum took a stand (for once) and so Severus was allowed to attend Hogwarts, as was Selena the next year.

***

Slytherin, Selena thought silently. Put me in Slytherin.

It’s got to be Slytherin, Selena thought desperately. Put me in Slytherin.

Because that’s where my brother is, Selena replied. She couldn’t quite see herself not being in the same House as him.

"I’ll bet that was a nice wedding present for him," said Melissa, grinning. If only you knew, Selena found herself thinking. But she forced a smile onto her face that matched the other girl’s, and climbed into bed.

***

As the memory of her first day faded, Selena realized that she was late for work, having been distracted by the morning events. She hastily jumped up and Apparated to St. Mungo’s, breaking into a run as she realized she was fifteen minutes behind schedule. She ran towards floor four, where she was treating a man with flowers sprouting from his ears, when she collided with someone coming out of a ward, causing Selena to drop all her paperwork.

"Sorry!" said Selena quickly, bending down to pick her stuff up.

"Selena! I �“ I’m sorry, I didn’t �“ didn’t see �“ I’m sorry �“ " Selena glanced up to see who she had crashed into. It was one of her co-workers, Jennifer Trunk. She looked positively terrified, and her voice seemed to be a pitch above normal.

"Jennifer, what happened?" Selena asked, stuffing the last of her papers back into her folder and standing up. "Is everything okay?"

"Fine!" Jennifer said, her dark eyes diving nervously around, and Selena could’ve sworn that Jennifer almost started stepping backwards. "Just fine!"

Selena gave her a quizzical look. It wasn’t as though her and Jennifer were best friends, but they had always been on good terms.

"Is it a patient?" Selena asked.

"Everyone’s fine," said Jennifer quickly. "Well, I’ve got to go �“ that man with the wings, you know �“ bye!"

Selena opened her mouth to reply, but Jennifer had already dashed away.

Frowning, Selena hurried on to Kenneth Eber’s room. The flowers, to her dismay, were still in full bloom. She tried to comfort her patient, but it did not seem to have any effect. If anything, Mr. Eber’s face grew more and more disgusted the longer Selena talked about how the potion would take effect and eradicate the flowers from their current position.

"There you are!" a voice said behind her. Turning, Selena saw Melissa Bones (formerly Cooper) step into the ward.

"Hey, Melissa," said Selena.

"Where’ve you been?" Melissa wanted to know, coming towards her. "You’re a little behind, you know."

"I know, I know," said Selena, waving a hand airily and turning back to Kenneth. Selena quickly mixed up another dose of his potion (Kenneth look repulsed as he took the glass) and headed down the hall with Melissa. Selena was relieved that Melissa seemed to have plenty to say about her work, because Selena really did not want to start in on anything about her morning.

As they walked down the halls, Selena observed the other Healers and staff members. Most of them were acting rather peculiar: shooting her glares, dropping their gaze to their feet, or falling silent as they walked by, then buzzing to one another.

"What is going on with everyone?" Selena finally said to Melissa. "Everyone’s acting like I’ve �“ like I’ve done something terrible!" In all truth, she was fairly certain she knew what was going on, but she did not feel ready to admit it.

Melissa looked uncomfortable. "I’m sure it’s nothing, Selena," she said, and quickly tried to change the subject. Selena wouldn’t let her.

"I’m sure it’s nothing, too," Selena said sarcastically.

"Well," said Melissa, as they turned into the long term ward. She hesitated, then said, "I’m sure you got today’s paper?"

It was like being smacked hard in the face, maybe worse. She had known, of course, but to have it confirmed by Melissa put it in new perspective…. But the truth was unavoidable now.

"I don’t believe it," said Selena quietly, as she headed over to Frank Longbottom. "They think…because we share a name…they assume…"

Her nerves completely shot, Selena yelled, "DAMN IT!" and then proceeded to curse with every word under the sun beneath her breath.

"Selena," said Melissa pleadingly. "They’re idiots, the lot of them…they don’t know you, if they did, they wouldn’t think �“ "

"I wouldn’t want people like that to know me anyway," Selena snarled, slamming her paperwork on a nightstand. "I wouldn’t want �“ they’re all just ba �“ "

"Maybe you should take a break," Melissa said gently. Selena sighed, covered her face with her hands, and shook her head slowly.

"No…no, I’m good," said Selena, and she made her face move to a smile, removing her hands to try and prove her point to Melissa. "I’m okay."

The two women did not speak for a long time. Instead they worked silently and efficiently in the ward; together, but not.

"When’s the funeral?" Selena asked suddenly, after nearly forty minutes.

"What?" said Melissa absently, busy trying to settle Alice Longbottom into her bed.

"The funeral…Dum �“ Dumbledore’s funeral."

"I think the paper said in a week," said Melissa, giving Selena a sideways glance.

Selena paused for a moment. "I’m going to go."

"To the funeral?"

"Mm-hmm," said Selena, and as though someone had flicked a switch, she suddenly looked quite pleased and content. She now dusted off Gilderoy Lockhart’s photos of himself with more enthusiasm. "I’ve got a few sick days still, I can go."

"But…don’t you think…I mean…"

"Lots of people are going. It’s not that strange."

"Well, no, not for most people…"

"I see no reason why it’d be different for me then," Selena said with a absolute note of finality in her voice. "Are you going to go?"

"Well, if you’re going I suppose so," said Melissa slowly, looking at Selena carefully. "It’s always good to go back to Hogwarts…"

"Great," said Selena, a sort of satisfied sneer creeping onto her face. "We’ll go then."

"Are you sure you’re going to be okay with this?" Melissa said uncertainly.

"Why wouldn’t I be?" Selena asked, giving Melissa a hard stare. Melissa grinned at her.

"That’s the Selena I know," she said cheerfully. "Come on, I’ve got to see Wilber and you’ve got to check in on Diane."

"Right, see you!" Selena called, as they turned opposite ways.

As she headed off, Selena wondered if she was making the right choice. Would she really be able to attend Dumbledore’s funeral?

No one has to know my name, she thought. There will be thousands of people there, no one’s going to focus on me.

Even though Selena tried to make herself believe this, she knew she really did not. But she kept telling the lie to herself. It was all she could do.

She stepped up to the desk. "I’d like to book a room for two; we’ll be staying in several days time."

"Name?" the barman asked roughly.

"Selena Snape."

"Snape, you said?"

Selena just snapped. She’d had it. "Yes, it’s Snape. I’m related to him, okay? But just because we’re siblings doesn’t mean we’re alike! It gives you no right to judge me, got it? I’m nothing like the man who killed �“ "

"Slow down," the barman said, holding up a filthy hand and looking rather bemused. "I only wanted to know how it was spelled."

"Oh," said Selena, feeling her cheeks grow hot. "Right. It’s S-N-A-P-E." She darted out of the bar as quick as possible, and headed over to The Three Broomsticks.

Selena ordered herself a butterbeer and waited for Melissa to come.

***

***

"Selena!" It was Melissa, hurrying towards her.

"Hi, Melissa," said Selena vaguely, as the memory faded from her eyes.

"Did you get us a room?" Melissa asked, sliding into a seat across from her.

"Yeah," said Selena, her face screwing up in disgust. "Except it’s at the Hog’s Head."

Melissa wrinkled her nose. "Well, I didn’t expect much better," she said, sipping her butterbeer. "Everyone’s coming in for the funeral. And lots of people are trying to take their kids away from Hogwarts, they think it’s too dangerous now. I don’t see how the kids would be any safer at home, though."

Selena nodded distractedly, her eyes fixed on the distant figure of Hogwarts. Are you actually ready for this, Snape?

***

The large barn owl was soaring through her window again. Selena gritted her teeth and paid the owl, then scanned the headline. Nothing of importance. She let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding and continued eating her breakfast.

Several minutes later, she spotted another owl in the distance flying towards her. As the animal came closer, Selena realized it was her owl, Apollo.

Apollo flew in and landed by her plate, sticking out his leg and hooting happily. Curiously, Selena untied the parchment and opened it up. Written in small, cramped writing, it read:

The letter wasn’t signed; it didn’t need to be. Selena could recognize those tiny, cramped letters anytime. She had seen them nearly her whole life.

And they belonged to her dear brother.

Her breakfast lay forgotten. Selena bolted up and Apparated to work.

After poking her head into many doors, she finally found Melissa and nearly dragged her into the nearest empty ward. Selena placed an soundproofing charm on the door, then turned to Melissa, who was looking at her worriedly.

"Selena, what’s wrong?" Melissa asked cautiously.

"I �“ he �“ wrote �“ today �“ that �“ " Realizing that she was not going to be able to form a sentence, Selena handed the letter to Melissa, who read it, then looked at her curiously.

"Well?" Selena snapped.

"Well what?" said Melissa.

"He �“ that �“ from �“ him �“ "

"Selena," Melissa said patiently. "Calmly and slowly explain, please."

"It’s from him," Selena spat.

"From who?" Melissa wanted to know.

"My brother," said Selena shortly.

Melissa’s eyes widened. "Are you sure?" she asked. "I mean, it’s not signed…and even if it was…it could be from anyone…"

"It’s him all right," Selena said. "That’s his hand writing �“ I’d know it anywhere."

"I wonder why he’s writing to you," Melissa mused aloud. "You’d think he’d be doing all he could to not be caught…yet he’s taking the time to write you a letter �“ "

"I wouldn’t call it a letter," said Selena, looking at the single sentence written on the paper.

"But it’s still interesting," said Melissa thoughtfully. "Because, judging by this letter �“ I mean sentence, " she corrected hastily as Selena opened her mouth again. "Judging by this sentence, he wants you to think…that he wasn’t doing anything wrong or something."

"And he thinks he’s going to make me believe that?!"

"Calm down, Selena," said Melissa placidly. "I don’t know…I’m just trying to figure out his intentions, that’s all. I mean, he wouldn’t do this if he didn’t have some sort of reason."

Selena frowned, thinking. Melissa was right: why was Severus taking time to write to her? Surely he’d be on the run, doing tasks for You-Know-Who…that worthless, scummy �“

"Let’s not worry about it," said Melissa firmly, before Selena could slip too far into thought. "Come on �“ we’ve both got work to do."

Selena nodded, even though she knew that she would continue to worry about it, and walked out the door.

***

"Tarantallegra!" a boy with messy black hair bellowed, and Severus’ legs began jerking under him uncontrollably. The boys laughed, along with some of the onlookers who had gathered around. Selena glared at them, feeling completely powerless despite the fact that she had her wand in her pocket.

Shut up, you, Selena thought angrily. She felt herself reaching into her robes for her wand, but reminded herself that Severus would be mad with her if she did so.

"I get back at them on my own time," said Severus dismissively. "Which is why I don’t need you interfering!"

"I’ll thank you for that!"

"You’ll be fine," said Melissa. "And if anyone starts bugging you, then…hex them."

"Yeah," said Selena sarcastically, "and then they’ll really believe I’m nothing like my brother."

"I was kidding, Selena."

"This isn’t a ‘kidding’ issue."

Selena and Melissa headed up the steps and found seats among the immense crowd. Selena eyed the people from the Ministry and Prophet. Would they perhaps recognize her…?

Melissa nudged her. "Relax, will you? No one’s going to pay attention to you here. This event’s about Dumbledore."

"Melissa, this event connects to me. If anyone spots me, I’m as good as dead."

She realized that, as they were at a funeral, this was not exactly the best comment to make, when Melissa gave her a dirty look and said, "Don’t say that."

"Well, it’s pretty much true! Everyone thinks that just because him and I were in the same House and were �“ were friends �“ " she tossed out the word with repulsion and venom " �“ that it makes us the same! We wrote letters, Melissa, I even visited him. I’ll bet you there’s someone here who knows that, do you really think they’re going to believe that I’m not in anyway helping him?!"

"Yes," said Melissa honestly. "Just tell them the truth �“ what more is there to do? And I’m right here, Selena, you’re not in this alone."

Selena looked away. It was good to know that she had people on her side, but she still could not shake away the feeling that all of this was partly her fault…that if she hadn’t been foolish enough to trust Severus, if she hadn’t been so stupid…maybe none of them would be here…

A strange, musical sound rising from the lake, and Selena spotted see the mermaids, singing a song that she could not understand, but it clearly was about loss and despair. Selena shivered, shifting her gaze uneasily to the grass.

Hagrid, crying heavily, walked up the center aisle, carrying a bundle in a purple blanket, which she knew at once to be Dumbledore’s body. Selena chewed on her lip as Hagrid walked with Dumbledore; Melissa elbowed her again with a whispered, "Stop it." Hagrid carried Dumbledore up to the long table placed at the front, and retreated to his seat, blowing his nose loudly.

A tiny man had gotten up and was now making a speech about Dumbledore. "Great wizard"…"tragic loss"…"Headmaster at Hogwarts"…the words sort of drifted into Selena’s ears in fragments.

She wasn’t really listening anymore, and simply surveyed the crowd; something she often preferred to the thing she was supposed to have her attention on. She wondered what they were feeling. Did any of them feel guilty as she did? Were they related to ones that had done such wrong?

***

Now or never, she thought grimly, and stood to go talk to him. She was not exactly thrilled with the prospect of spilling the bad news to Severus. He could have a very foul temper, and she didn’t like being at the brunt of it.

Selena hesitated. Just tell him slowly. "You know what?"

"So? So?! Are you telling me you want to go home for Christmas?"

***

Several screams jerked Selena away from the memory, and she gasped as well. White flames had risen around Dumbledore’s body, emitting white smoke that made strange shapes. But then, the fire vanished, and a white tomb now encased Dumbledore’s body.

A sudden burst of arrows followed this, and Selena caught a glimpse of centaurs, galloping away into the forest.

The funeral was over; people slowly began to rise. Susan Bones, Melissa’s daughter, was hurrying towards them.

"Hi, Selena," she said as she ran towards them, her long plait flying in the wind.

Selena managed a smile. "Hi, Susan."

Melissa began talking to her daughter, and Selena watched the crowd, hoping the Ministry and the Prophet would not spot her. It seemed Scrimgeour was talking to a dark haired teenage boy, who looked about as happy to talk to him as Selena would’ve.

"That’s Harry Potter," said Susan, seeing where Selena was looking.

"Is it really?" Selena asked, watching the boy with more interest.

"Yeah �“ apparently he was with Dumbledore when �“ when it happened," Susan stumbled.

"So Scrimgeour’s questioning him, is he?" said Selena, watching the two with narrowed eyes. "That manipulating jerk…" Melissa, sensing a rant, quickly tried to distract her friend, chatting about some Quidditch team or other.

As Melissa’s mouth began to slow down, Scrimgeour’s did as well. He began limping away angrily. Then he then spotted Selena, and, much to her dismay, began to head towards her.

"Here we go," muttered Selena. "You two go on," she said to Melissa and Susan. "I’ve got to do this on my own."

"Are you sure?" Melissa asked.

Selena gave her a strange smile, eyeing the Minister out of the corner of her eye. "Yeah. Scrimgeour wants to talk to me, so he’ll get to talk to me."

Melissa and Susan left (Melissa looking as though it were against her better judgement), and Selena faced Scrimgeour, her face completely blank.

"Good afternoon, ma’am," Scrimgeour said, as he came up to her.

Selena gave a decisive ‘pfft’. "I wouldn’t call it a good afternoon, Minister," she said, giving him a sideways glance as they began walking along the lake.

"No, no," said Scrimgeour hastily. "You misunderstand me completely, miss �“ "

"Then we have something in common," said Selena airily. "As you seem to constantly misunderstand me."

The corners of Scrimgeour’s mouth twitched slightly, but he managed to hold his smile in place.

"So what can I do for you, sir?" said Selena calmly.

"I’m sure this is a very difficult time for you �“ "

"It is for all of us, Minister," said Selena shortly. "I don’t want more pity than anyone else."

"I’m not offering you anymore than I would to anyone else," said Scrimgeour, and this time his voice betrayed a touch of impatience. "This is a difficult time for us all, and we need all the information possible concerning the Dark Side �“ "

"Can we please cut to the chase, sir?" Selena said lightly. "I do have things to do, as much as I would love to chat."

"Are you still in contact with your brother?" Scrimgeour asked, rather sharper than he seemed to intend.

Selena let out a harsh laugh. "Yes, I always make it my business to keep in contact with Death Eaters, Minister," she said.

"This is not a joking matter," said Scrimgeour, and there was no kindness in his voice anymore. "Are you or are you not still in contact with Severus Snape?"

"What do you think?" Selena asked him.

Scrimgeour ignored this inquiry. "Do you have any information on his whereabouts?"

"Minister, do you really think someone on the run would be giving out their location?" Selena asked, raising one eyebrow. "I mean, obviously I’ve never been on the run myself, but my brother’s no idiot, you know. I don’t think he’d be writing down his hiding places in his letters that could easily be intercepted."

Selena’s eyes narrowed. "I do believe, Minister, that we have discussed before what is your business and what is not," she said coldly. "Back when Severus first started working at Hogwarts? Yes, I’m sure you remember that meeting well…you were the Head of the Aurors, and you came to me, butting into my life as you are doing now…"

"So you admit to writing to him, then?" Scrimgeour persisted. "You admit to being in contact?"

"I admit," said Selena acidly, "to writing him a letter and receiving a single sentence in reply."

"What about?"

"That is not your concern. Sir," she added spitefully.

Scrimgeour’s face had become contorted in a rather hideous expression.

"Look," said Selena impatiently, "I wrote to him after I received the news about Dumbledore’s death, alright? I wasn’t sure if I’d get a reply, but amazingly, I did. It was a single sentence that contained nothing of importance. I do not know where Severus is, nor am I helping him in anyway. Don’t believe me? Well, your loss, I guess, because I’m telling the truth, and no amount of Veritasium would tell you differently."

Scrimgeour studied her carefully for a moment. "You know nothing?" he said slowly.

"Nothing," said Selena firmly, looking directly into his yellow eyes.

Scrimgeour considered her for a moment. "In that case," he said, his tone lightening a touch, "can you please give us some family history? Perhaps any strange behavior? Odd occurrences?"

"Minister, if I could not spot anything strange in my brother’s behavior, I doubt you’d be able to either."

"Can you talk about him as a child?" Scrimgeour implored. "What do you think made him �“ "

"These are questions that ended our last meeting, sir," said Selena, talking over him. "My business is my business."

"Surely there were signs that �“ "

"Severus and I grew up in the same home," Selena continued over him, "and we both turned out very differently, as I’m sure you can see. There were no, as you put it, ‘signs’ that would’ve tipped me off before it was too late."

Scrimgeour glared at her. "You’re not going to talk at all, are you?"

"Nope," said Selena, sitting down and skipping a stone into the lake. "I’m so glad we finally reached that conclusion."

Scrimgeour glowered at her for a moment, then limped away. Selena shook her head as he left, smiling in spite of herself.

What was she doing? Why was she writing to him yet again? There was nothing to be gained from it. Selena frowned down at the piece of parchment.

Apollo swooped down next to her and held out his leg, waiting for Selena to tie the parchment on.

"Give me a moment," said Selena absently. She re-read what she had written several times. Apollo nudged her hand impatiently.

"Should I send it, Apollo?" Selena asked him. "Or is it pointless?"

Apollo just stuck out his leg farther.

"You don’t care if it’s pointless, do you?" she said, half laughing. "So long as you have a job. Well, it couldn’t hurt to send it, I suppose."

Selena obeyingly tied the letter to Apollo’s foot, who then hooted happily and soared out the window.

***

Selena laughed. "What, did you think I’d go back home for Christmas? Yeah, right. That’d be a real merry Christmas. Anyway, I didn’t last year, why would I go this year?"

"Give me that!"

"Give me my book!"

This book is the Property of the Half-Blood Prince.

"Half-Blood Prince?" Selena read aloud. She grinned at Severus, who looked positively furious. "You call yourself the Half-Blood Prince?" Selena couldn’t help it, she cracked up. Severus easily got the book from her as she was laughing too hard to defend herself.

Severus shot a well placed jinx at Selena, and she immediately felt her legs quake underneath her, as though they were jelly. At that moment she couldn’t have cared less, though. Prince…!

"Fine," said Selena, recovering from her giggles. "Here, take your book…Prince."

She burst into peels of laughter again, as Severus looked at her with utmost contempt. She breathed in deeply to calm herself, and headed up the girl’s dormitory staircase. Struck with a sudden thought, she turned at the top landing and called down, "Does that make me the Half-Blood Princess?"

***

Selena sat on a limb of the beech tree, gazing out at the lake. Perched up there, she felt a strange sort of peace with herself that she had not felt recently. It were as though it were just her in the tree. At that moment, nothing could change that, nothing else mattered.

She was not sure how long she was up there, avoiding life, but suddenly she heard a faint meow. Selena turned her gaze down to see a gray tabby cat at the foot of the tree. The cat lightly climbed up the tree and onto the limb Selena was resting. The two sat side by side together, cat and owl, for a long while, looking out at the stillness of the lake.

Suddenly, the cat meowed again and nimbly jumped from the tree. The cat then looked up at her expectantly. Selena reluctantly flew down beside the cat and transformed back into herself, as the cat did the same.

"Good afternoon, Selena," Minerva McGonagall said.

"Hello," Selena said quietly. "How did you know it was me?"

"I recognized your markings. It’s not like I’ve never seen you transform."

"Right," said Selena distantly, her eyes focused vaguely on the lake. "I didn’t think anyone else would be here, though."

"I work here, Selena," said McGonagall gently.

"Yes, but I thought that the staff would go home for the summer."

"I’ve been back and forth," sighed McGonagall. "I’ve been rather busy even though I should be off duty…I’ve been handling certain affairs of Dum �“ I mean, I’ve been trying to sort out �“ the �“ "

"The murder?" Selena supplied grimly.

McGonagall didn’t respond, but she didn’t need to; they both knew the truth.

Selena silently sat down beside the lake, staring fixedly at the water, as she couldn’t trust herself to look anywhere else. McGonagall hesitated, then sat down beside her.

"Don’t be so hard on yourself, Selena," said McGonagall. "It’s not your fault."

"You don’t get it," said Selena. "And not to be rude, but I’d prefer to be alone right now."

"Maybe I don’t get it," McGonagall said reasonably, choosing to only acknowledge the first half of what Selena had said, "but I know none of this is your fault."

"I know it’s not," said Selena, hugging her knees to her chest. "But perhaps I take a part of the blame."

"No �“ "

"Yes," said Selena firmly. "I grew up with him, I must have influenced him somewhat, and you can’t deny it."

McGonagall didn’t deny it, whether because she agreed or because she didn’t want to argue fruitlessly, Selena did not know.

"He’s still my brother," said Selena, skipping a stone into the lake and watching the ripples. "I must have done something. I was in his life…" She watched the ripples spread outwards, farther, farther, farther, until they vanished. "I must’ve affected it in some way, even though now I’m pretty much gone from it."

"You don’t know for sure that you took a part in shaping him."

"Don’t lie to me. I did." Her words were harsh, yet she did not speak them with anger. They were said with a calm, serene sort of air to them, which made it even more eerie to listen to her; how she could be so pained and yet come off so at ease.

The two lapsed back into silence, watching the smooth lake shimmer in the sunlight.

"I’d better get going," said Selena after a while, standing up.

McGonagall stood up as well. "You’ll always be welcome at Hogwarts," she said, giving her a tense smile.

"Thanks," said Selena, shaking her hand.

"At the Order as well."

"Still?" Selena asked, raising one eyebrow.

"Of course," said McGonagall sharply. "Why not?"

"Well, I figured…I dunno, with Dumbledore �“ "

"Dumbledore would’ve wanted you to remain a member," McGonagall snapped. "So you’ll continue to be one."

Selena couldn’t help it; she smiled. "Alright."

McGonagall nodded curtly at her, then headed back towards the castle. Selena turned back into a owl and soared over the lake, thinking how some things would always be the same: like the way McGonagall was so strict and sharp; the way she’d always feel somewhat guilty about Severus’ wrong-doings; the way the beech tree would always stand; the way that her Animagus would always be an owl; and the way that the ripples from a stone in the water would always spread outward, farther, farther, farther, and then vanish.

"You’re kidding," Selena said to Apollo. "Is this from him?"

Apollo hooted. Selena quickly untied the parchment from his leg and unrolled it.

He had written back. Again. Why? Her brother never did anything without a reason that he would benefit from. What was in it for him?

Selena frowned down at the paper, tracing her mouth in thought. She looked at Apollo. "Was Severus acting strange when you took his letter? Did he say anything to you?"

Apollo blinked at her.

"You know you’re losing it when your asking your owl to answer you, Selena," she muttered to herself. "Well, thanks anyway."

Selena quickly Apparated to St. Mungo’s, the letter still clutched tightly in her hands. She found Melissa and once again dragged her into the nearest ward, which was thankfully empty.

"Another one?" Melissa hissed as Selena shut the door and soundproofed it.

"Yeah," said Selena, handing her the letter. Melissa quickly scanned the paper, and did the unthinkable: She laughed. Just stood there and laughed.

That’s what friends are for, eh?

"Melissa!" Selena cried. "This is serious!"

"I’m sorry," Melissa managed to sputter, her shoulders shaking slightly as she continued to chortle.

"There’s nothing funny about this!" said Selena furiously.

"I know, I know," Melissa laughed, stuffing her fist in her mouth to silence herself. Selena gave Melissa a withering glare. After several seconds Melissa recovered from her giggles, so she removed her hand and said, "Look…obviously, this situation is about as far away from funny as you could get…but this �“ " she waved the letter in the air, a small grin on her face " �“ this is just…it’s...." Something in Selena’s expression must have told her she had gone too far though, for her face suddenly changed and she said, "I’m sorry."

"You should be," said Selena waspishly, snatching the letter from her friend’s hand.

"Selena…"

"No."

"Selena." Melissa took her shoulders, forcing Selena to look at her. "I am sorry, okay? But this…I don’t know…I mean…" she glanced at the letter lying on a bedside table "…some of the things he said…" Melissa smiled slightly. "I mean…it’s just so…him."

"Whoop-dee-do," said Selena spitefully, jerking away from her friend’s grasp. "‘It’s just so him’. Like I really wanted to deal with him during this whole mess. Some help you are," she spat out as an afterthought. "Very supportive, Melissa, very �“ what the hell does he think he’s doing, anyway? Is this some thing that You-Know-Who put him up to? Or is he just trying to butter me up, get me on his side? What �“ "

"Selena," said Melissa gently, "you can’t let this get in the way of your life."

"I’m not letting it �“ "

"Then let’s get back to work," Melissa cut her off, looking a little impatiently at her friend.

"Fine," Selena snapped, not very maturely. She stalked out of the room.

***

"Good morning, Severus!" Selena said cheerfully, as she skipped into the Common Room. Severus looked up at her from the armchair he was hunched in, one eyebrow raised.

"You’re still writing in books?" Selena asked, sounding exasperated.

Selena stepped closer. Regulus Black, a Slytherin in her year, did hang out with the crowd Severus usually spent time with, but by himself he wasn’t so bad. Sort of like Severus. Actually, she felt rather bad for him at times �“ his brother seemed to be constantly on his case, and Regulus often seemed quite unsure of what to do with himself. "Are you alright?" she asked warily.

"Just left it there? Even Potter can’t be that thick?"

"Come on, Selena, this is my chance," said Severus quietly, as they stepped nearer and nearer to Sirius, who was attempting to look as though he were up to nothing, leaning against the wall. But the sneer lingering around his mouth told otherwise. "It won’t hurt him…not too much anyway…"

Ignoring this last comment, Severus pulled his wand from his robes and muttered, "Langlock!"

"Really? You actually created your own spell?"

"Snape?" James read aloud. He looked at Sirius. "You think ol’ Snivillus did it? But you didn’t see him �“ ooo-hhh. You think he took my cloak?"

***

I must be crazy, Selena thought. I’m writing to a man who’s a Death Eater and whom I despise. Why? What for? She still could not answer these questions. She didn’t still care about him, she knew that…but there was a small part of her that couldn’t help wondering whether she would be unnerved should he turn up dead or be taken to dementors. She didn’t much like this part of her.

But there was another reason she kept writing: a part of her was curious. She wanted to see what Severus’ reaction would be, every time she kept writing back. Would he keep responding? Would he say something that revealed his true intention? Would he try and lure her somewhere? What would he do?

Then there was the question that followed each of these: what would she do? This was the question that scared her. So, not wanting to dwell on it, she Apparated to work.

***

"The meeting will now commence," said Minerva McGonagall. Everyone instantly grew silent.

"Well," said McGonagall, "we don’t have much to report on any whereabouts of Death Eaters or He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named."

The large group murmured uneasily.

"But," McGonagall continued, "we’ve been able to locate several large groups of dementors. Where there are dementors, there are often followers of You-Know-Who, to tell them orders and give commands." McGonagall pointed to several areas on a large map. "It’s not much of a plan, but I think it’s time we tried to do something �“ we haven’t done much since Albus �“ " McGonagall’s voice had become strained, but she quickly cleared her throat and said, "Perhaps we would be able to capture some Death Eaters. I shall split you up into small groups…"

So McGonagall divvied up the Order members into small groups. Selena was informed that she would be traveling to Bluebell Lake. She glanced over her assigned group members. Alastor Moody always made her feel rather uneasy; the way that even when she used Occlumency it felt as though he could still break into different parts of her mind with that eye of his. Remus Lupin she got along with though, despite their slightly awkward history.

The rest of the meeting past rather uneventfully, as the absence of their former leader had a much bigger impact than Selena had thought possible. Hagrid burst into tears near the end. Selena left in a bit of a hurry as the meeting closed. Melissa quickly chased after her and the two walked in silence for a little way.

"It felt so different," Selena said after awhile. "Without the two of them, I mean. I didn’t realize how much they affected the group until now."

"We all affect the group," said Melissa. "If anyone of us left, there would be a difference."

"Yeah," said Selena, "but losing the leader…and losing �“ you know…it’s so…"

"The war’ll be over soon," said Melissa quietly. "Then everything will be back to normal."

"I don’t think things will ever be back to normal. Not completely."

Melissa frowned, but didn’t comment.

"It’s not like I ever talked to him or anything while we were there," said Selena, absently kicking a pebble on the sidewalk. "But…it’s just…it’s just that I…"

"You miss him," said Melissa quietly.

"No," said Selena sharply, halting and rounding on her friend. "Of course I don’t miss him! I don’t want him around! I don’t miss him at all! I �“ "

"You miss who he was," said Melissa gently. "Not what he became."

"I don’t �“ "

"Yes you do, Selena," said Melissa kindly, her eyes shinning with unshed tears as she smiled softly at her friend. "It’s okay to love someone, you don’t �“ "

"Selena." Now Melissa was starting to get agitated. "You need to get past this. I’m here to help you through this, and to assist you in getting past it. But I can’t help you if you aren’t willing to help yourself."

"This is ridiculous!" Selena yelled. "If you want to help me, you wouldn’t laugh at the situation, or make false accusations �“ "

"Damn it, Selena!" said Melissa, her face coloring in anger. "Why can’t you just stop pretending that this is all your fault, and that you don’t give a damn about Severus �“ "

"Why can’t you just stop being such a bloody fool? You �“ "

"We don’t need to have this argument," said Melissa coldly. Her face was still flushed, but her eyes were now hard and cool. She turned and began to walk onward. "We both know who’s right, and endless bickering won’t change it."

"Don’t you dare leave!" Selena screamed angrily. "Melissa, come �“ !" Too late. She had already Apparated away.

"Think so," said Selena, carelessly flipping through The Standard Book of Spells, Grade Four, though her eyes were actually focused elsewhere. More specifically, Curtis Blackwood, who was currently leaning against a tree, chatting with his friends. He was in Hufflepuff, one year older than her. Tall, but he didn’t tower over her; smooth, dusty blond hair; kind, soft spoken eyes that were like the color of the sea; skin that was a natural light tan color; not skinny, but somehow he appeared gangly. He was sweet, funny, cute, had a awkward air about him, and had even smiled at her �“ that timid, slightly reckless grin that she loved �“ yesterday morning at breakfast.

"All right, Snivillus?" a voice interrupted loudly. Selena’s head whipped around, even though she knew what she’d see. Severus immediately pulled his wand from his robes, but he wasn’t fast enough, as James Potter’s voice rang through the air again: "Expelliarmus!" Severus’ wand shot straight into the air and fell behind him.

"Impedimenta!" Sirius barked. Severus, halfway to his wand, fell right over. A small crowd had begun to gather around them (though not Curtis, Selena noted with some pleasure).

It was Lily Evans, of all people. Selena was rather caught off guard by her sudden appearance. A Gryffindor prefect…? Why was she trying to help Severus?

"Well," said James slowly, "it’s more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean…"

"Certainly," said James, causing Severus to fall hard on the ground. He got up speedily, wand at the ready, but then Sirius bellowed, "Locomortor mortis!" and Severus was once more knocked off his feet.

"I think the correct term is Muggle-born," said Selena angrily.

"I had hoped you weren’t!" Selena spat. "But after recent events that’s the conclusion I’ve reached! You’re friends, that Malfoy boy and all the others? That’s the kind of language I expect them to use, not you."

"Friends?" Selena repeated incredulously. "Friends? Isn’t that someone who treats you as a equal, who helps you out when you need it? They never seemed like good friends at all. They’re typical Slytherins �“ and they’re turning you into one!"

"You stay out of this!" Selena and Severus yelled together. Melissa looked rather surprised and hurt that Selena was roaring at her, but Selena couldn’t sympathize. Her anger was rising every second, she couldn’t feel any empathy for Melissa at that moment.

"Is that what you want?" Selena shouted. "To turn into a typical Slytherin? To become like all those half-witted fools?"

***

Selena was not quite as surprised by the arrival of Severus’ next letter. She silently took it from Apollo’s beak and unrolled the scroll.

She only saw what she wanted to see? Do you think for a minute, a moment, a second that I like seeing you as a murderer, Severus?

And this whole thing was getting ridiculous. Severus did have a point �“ he couldn’t tell her anything in a letter, and she wouldn’t believe anything he said; because he had done terrible things, and there was no way he was getting around it this time. She had fallen for everything he said last time, she wasn’t doing that again. No way was she doing that again.

But then what was the point of writing? She should stop, she knew that. But at the same time, she knew that she couldn’t. She was hooked into his little scheme, whatever it was…and there was no way out now.

Selena glanced over at Apollo, who was perched on the kitchen counter devouring some sort of small animal. He was probably the only living thing who was not a Death Eater to actually be seeing Severus. It was really a shame he couldn’t talk to her.

With a sigh, Selena wandered into her sitting room and fell into one of her armchairs. Apollo flew in after her. Selena watched him fly around in a weary way, as he swooped happily from one area of the room to the next. But as he soared over the fireplace, Selena’s eyes dropped down from him to her mantle piece above the fireplace.

Selena inwardly cringed. Glancing where her owl had been flying, she could see that he had been passing by a picture of Selena and Severus when they were little kids. Their dad clearly hadn’t been around at that moment, as both of them appeared to be laughing. Severus looked to be around seven; she looked about six. Severus had Selena’s arm twisted behind her back, and Selena was attempting to smack him on the head. There were thousands of moving photos up there, many which held Severus, but as Selena did not come into her sitting room very often, she had not remembered to put them away.

In a reckless spurt of anger, she stood from her chair and smacked all the photos containing her brother’s face down. She heard some of the glass crack, but she couldn’t have cared less. Shaking with fury, she Apparated to work.

She was just paying for her food at the market when it happened.

"That’ll be all for you, ma’am?" the salesclerk questioned, tallying up the price of her food.

"Yes, thank you."

She paid her money and the sales woman held out a receipt for her to sign. Selena scrawled her name and handed it back to her, feeling a knot pulling in her stomach as she braced herself for the comments on her last name. But they didn’t come. The lady merely glanced at her name absented-mindedly. "Well, have a nice day Ms. Snape!" the woman said cheerfully.

Perhaps doing this sort of thing had become so routine that the clerk simply did not really read the names of her customers. Or maybe she just did not connect the facts in that instant. Whatever the reason for her unaware attitude, Selena was not about to question it. The knot in her stomach loosened. "You too." She made her way out the door.

"Excuse me, miss."

Selena turned. A young woman with short, tight brown curls that spiraled all over her head and a eager, almost hungry look on her face was standing there. The knot gripped tight.

"Yes?"

"I hope you don’t mind me being forward," she began, "but I couldn’t help overhearing a little �“ back in the shop that �“ well, your surname is Snape �“ "

"If you’ll excuse me for being so abrupt," said Selena, smiling innocently and turning around, "I must get going."

"Oh no, wait," said the woman, stepping in front of Selena’s path. "Look, I’ll cut to the chase �“ are you related to Severus Snape?"

Selena blinked down at her. "Excuse me?"

"Severus Snape," said the young woman, "the man who murdered Dumbledore �“ it’s not a very common last name �“ you must be related to him �“ " To her astonishment, the woman began rattling off various members of Selena’s family, asking which she was.

"I only ask ‘cos I just joined the Prophet," she babbled on, "and a interview with a member of his family would be fantastic, you know �“ ‘Relative of a Death Eater Reveals’ �“ ‘Secrets of Having Blood Ties with a Murderer’ �“ " she said quietly to herself, testing names of her potential interviews. "Or maybe �“ "

"Well, you see," said Selena in a coldly sweet voice, "as ah, ‘fantastic’ as it might be, I don’t have time for a interview." She side-stepped the lady and continued on her way. But this journalist was persistent. She just danced in front of her again, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

"Miss, are you saying you are related to him?

"I did not say that, actually. I said I need to get going." She moved to start walking away, but the young lady blocked her.

"Hold on, miss," she said. "Just tell me what your relation is, I’ll leave after �“ I’m jus’ curious �“ "

"Yes, I’m his sister," Selena barked, irritated. "Now will you leave me be?" She began to move forward, but the next thing she knew someone had grabbed her arm.

"Oh-my-gosh," the witch (who, in Selena’s opinion, was one literally and figuratively) said breathlessly, continuing to pull on Selena’s arm. "I don’t believe it �“ see, I �“ you’re �“ wow, this is �“ can I ask you a couple questions?"

"We had a agreement," said Selena through her gritted teeth, attempting to keep a hold on her temper.

"Not as an interview," the young woman babbled, "jus’ to �“ you know, get to �“ see, I would jus’ want to know a few things �“ about you �“ and about him �“ what was it like, growing up with him?" Her drilling, reporter tone was kicking in; she suddenly sounded much more professional. "Did you two get along when you were younger? Were you close as you got older? When did you realize that you two would never be alike at all? At the time, did you have any idea that you were growing up in such close proximity with a murderer?"

That did it. Selena wrenched her arm from the girl’s grip and stalked away, her hands shaking from suppressed anger.

The young lady couldn’t take a hint, though. She was soon in front of Selena’s path again.

"Move," Selena growled.

But the reporter side of her had completely dominated; she continued firing off questions like there was no tomorrow. "Did you, like everyone else, believe that he had changed? How do your parents deal with the fact that one of their children is in You-Know-Who’s league? If you could see him now, what would you say to him?"

I would say I wouldn’t mind if he murdered you, Selena thought, as she stormed forward and pushed her to the side.

Yet the reporter pranced in front of her again, grabbing her arm and talking a mile a minute about everything Selena did not want to hear about.

Selena had lost her hold on her temper. So she pulled her arm roughly from the girl’s grasp, and then acted like the adult that she was: stuck up a certain finger on her right hand and told the idiot to go somewhere rather warm.

That sure shut her up. That and probably Selena’s expression too, which was contorted hideously with rage. So Selena turned on her heel and Apparated to her house. She collapsed into a armchair with a heavy, defeated sounding thunk; trying to block out the painful memories that were surfacing as a result of that moron’s questions. It didn’t work; they continued to drift to mind, one by one…

***

Question 13: How do you register to become an Animagus?

She could feel her attention ebbing away as she continued to do the tedious work. True, she did not have many ways to spend her free time at home during the summer, but really…she could do better than this. She dipped her quill in the ink and began an answer:

To register as an Animagus, you need to be of age. Once you are, you are able to begin your training at

"Good to hear," said Selena, releasing a tight smile. She wished that she could actually believe what she was saying. She knew how much her brother loved revenge…cruel revenge…

Nothing’s going to happen, Selena tried to reassure herself, as she left Severus’ room. Everything is going to be fine. Severus would never do something like that.

***

When Melissa came into the staff room the next morning, Selena could tell that something was up. Her friend had a glowing, mischievous look on her face.

"What happened to you?" Selena asked as Melissa sat down opposite her, still beaming.

"Oh, it’s not what happened to me," said Melissa casually. "It’s what’s going to happen to you."

"What did you do?" said Selena cautiously.

"I arranged for you to go out tomorrow night," said Melissa apathetically, trying and failing to look as though she did not have something that she could not wait to tell.

"You arranged for me to go out tomorrow night?" Selena repeated slowly, attempting to dissect Melissa’s words in her mind.

"Uh-huh," said Melissa, her smile fighting its way back onto her face.

"And where are we going?"

"There are two parts to that question," said Melissa, her smile becoming more radiant. "Which part shall I answer first?"

Selena ran her question over in her mind. It took a minute for the ‘second part’ to click, then her eyes widened. "You didn’t."

"I said, which part do you want me to answer first?" said Melissa, eyes gleaming brightly.

"You �“ are �“ dead."

"Perhaps I’ll start with part one," said Melissa cheerfully. "You will be going to The Three Broomsticks; I think it’s one of the better pubs at the moment, what with the present situation of most of them being shut."

"Melissa �“ "

"As for the second part, you’re not going out with me," Melissa continued over her. "It happens I have plans. But I found someone who doesn’t."

"You �“ "

"So you and Mr. Blackwood will be going to The Three Broomsticks together." Melissa, still smiling, had a coy, determined glint in her eyes.

Selena made several attempts to say something but could think of nothing, so she slumped in her chair, put her head in her hands, and cried out in frustration.

"You’ll have fun."

"I don’t believe you," Selena muttered, glaring at her friend through her fingers.

"Yes, you do," said Melissa happily. "You just don’t want to believe me."

"He didn’t say yes, did he?"

"Of course he did. He says he looks forward to it."

"Did you tell him that I don’t?"

"I think that I probably left out that detail," said Melissa airily. "Besides, you’ll have a good time once you’re out."

"No, I won’t," Selena argued through her fingers.

"Well, I’d better be getting on with work!" said Melissa joyfully, springing up from her chair. "See you later, Selena!"

Seeing as the pair of them had been on rocky ground lately, it was probably a good thing that Melissa shut the door before Selena’s next spiteful words could reach her ears.

She had no clue what to write back to her brother. What could she say? This was getting pointless. But she wasn’t going to let him win this.

She absent-mindedly traced her mouth with her pointer finger, staring vaguely at the kitchen wall. What would Merlin do, she thought, smiling ruefully at the long worn out joke between witches and wizards.

Ten minutes later, she was still gazing at a blank piece of parchment. Perhaps I should forget this. Just stop writing. But she was still curious. Would she really be able to leave all her curiosity behind?

Twenty minutes later, she still had not even touched the quill.

Thirty three minutes later, she sighed and rested her head on her hand.

Forty seven minutes later, she released a cry of frustration and banged one hand on the table. Upon hearing this, Apollo flew in and perched on the kitchen counter. He then stared at her intently with his yellow eyes, cocking his head slightly to one side.

Selena let out a slow breath. She hated wasting time like this, but she really wanted to write something. She needed to write something. She knew she wouldn’t be able to do anything if she was full of fierce anger at herself for losing this battle, this written war between her and her brother. Not to mention the anger at herself for worrying about someone she knew she shouldn’t even be worrying about.

Fifty minutes. With fresh determination, Selena poised the quill in her hand, dipped it in the ink, and wrote:

She stared at it for a moment. Was this what I wanted to say? It took her a moment, then she realized the answer was yes. Because it was true. She didn’t know him anymore.

The thought sent a icy finger through the air. She shivered in the now cold atmosphere, then beckoned Apollo over and tied the scroll to his leg. She watched him nip her finger affectionately, then swoop through the window and out into the sky.

***

It was Friday night. The dreaded night. Date night.

"How did I know it was going to be you?" Selena moaned.

"Hey," said Melissa with a grin, pushing past Selena, "I can’t always be unpredictable."

"What do you want?"

"To make sure you go through with this," said Melissa cheerily. "And I brought you some things to wear."

"I do have a closet, you know," Selena said, falling into a chair.

"Just take a look." Melissa unwrapped a bundle she’d been holding, and tossed it out grandly, smiling smugly. Selena, who had been looking pointedly at the ground, stole a glance and found herself unable to look away, so filled with horror. It was a dress robe of a brilliant shade of pink. The material was soft and billowy, waving gently as it was unrolled.

"I’m not wearing that," she said immediately.

"Well, there is always option two," said Melissa, laying the hideous robes across a armchair and unfolding another material. These robes were a deep blue velvet, and they were covered in tiny silver and gold sparkles that shimmered ridiculously bright with every twitch you made.

"I’m not wearing that either," said Selena decisively.

"You’re going to wear one of them," said Melissa just as decisively.

"We’re going to a bar, Melissa."

"Doesn’t hurt to look impressive."

"I don’t want to look impressive!"

Melissa smirked. "Of course you don’t. Now �“ " she held up one robe in each hand " �“ are you going to go with option number one �“ " she lifted the pink robes " �“ or option number two?" She raised the blue ones.

"Or option number three," said Selena, standing up in a fume. "None of the above."

Melissa looked at the robes, then looked at her friend, still smiling.

"I’m serious, you know," Selena informed her. "In fact, I think I’m going to cancel the date completely."

Melissa pursed her lips and looked at her in a ‘uh-huh, sure’ sort of way.

"This is the most pointless thing ever, and I can’t believe you even set me up like this," Selena continued babbling. "Just because I liked him �“ what, twenty years ago? �“ doesn’t mean I’m suddenly going to fall at his feet tonight! I don’t know how you even got the idea that this could go well…"

She rambled on, but her pleas were turned to deaf ears. Within five minutes, Selena was standing in front of her full length mirror. She had managed to wear her own robes, but they were still dress robes, a shade of purple that Melissa had given her consent to.

"They’re pretty nice, actually," said Melissa, peering over her shoulder. "The color does complement your eyes nicely."

"My eyes are brown, Melissa, not purple."

"Complements, Selena, not matches." Melissa rolled her eyes but didn’t seem too annoyed, if how much she was beaming was any indication. Selena, meanwhile, glared at her reflection.

"Now what to do with your hair," Melissa mused, picking up a lock of Selena’s hair and twirling it between her fingers.

"Don’t even go there," Selena warned.

In the end, Melissa settled for smoothing some sort of glup on her friend’s hair (Selena did not want to ask what) that made it shiny and sleek. This was done on the promise that Selena would wear the long, dangling, diamond chandelier earrings Melissa had brought along.

"You know what?" said Selena, as she put in the earrings in a defeated manner.

"What?"

"You’re acting like it’s your daughter’s first date: doting excessively, giggling, and squealing."

Melissa snickered at this.

"I hope you don’t do this to Susan every time she goes out," said Selena, putting in the other earring. "If you do, I pity her."

Melissa sighed. "Susan’s usually at Hogwarts when she goes out. So, no, just you."

"I’ll remember that," Selena vowed.

"I don’t doubt it."

Selena turned around to face her. Melissa beamed proudly, just like the excited parent Selena had mirrored her to moments before. "You look beautiful!" she gushed.

"I look ridiculous, Melissa."

"You’re just not used to looking like this," Melissa consoled. "You look gorgeous, trust me."

"I don’t want to look gorgeous," Selena whined pathetically. "I just want to look like myself."

"You might," said Melissa, grinning slyly, "but I’m sure Curtis wouldn’t mind seeing you like this."

Selena’s eyes narrowed angrily. "You �“ "

"Now, I arranged for you to meet him at eight," said Melissa quickly, "so you should probably leave now." She hugged Selena. "Have fun!"

"I will," Selena reassured her. Melissa either didn’t catch the sarcasm, or she chose to ignore it, and pushed her friend out the door. Selena Apparated to Hogsmeade and strode into The Three Broomsticks.

Oh my God. There he was. How many years had it been since she’d seen him? Five? Ten? Thirteen? Whatever it was, it had certainly been awhile. But Curtis Blackwood still looked quite like he had at Hogwarts: tall, nervous, blonde, cute, awkward, funny, and sweet was how she had thought of him when she was at school. As for now…?

She reflected on their history together; not that they had much of one. Both she and Curtis had shared mutual feelings for each other at Hogwarts. But, like with everything else, Severus had gotten in the way. She was able to deal with his teasing and rude comments about Curtis (naturally, such things were usually to be expected from any sibling), but what she couldn’t handle was Severus’ growing fascination with the Dark Arts. So Severus had become her top priority, and she had contented herself with tiny smiles in her crush’s direction. And now here he stood.

"Hey, Selena," he said, walking towards her, a smile playing at his mouth.

She smiled weakly. "Hi, Curtis."

They spent a couple very awkward heartbeats standing there, then Curtis jerked his head towards a table. "Shall we…?"

"Yes, of course," said Selena hurriedly.

The pair ordered drinks and then settled themselves at a table.

"So," said Curtis, taking a taste of his Firewhiskey and leaning back in his chair leisurely. "How’ve you been?"

How’ve you been? Was he just trying to be polite and start a conversation? Or was he trying to imply something? What would he be implying though? Something about her brother? Or maybe he was trying to figure out why she’d ‘accepted’ to go out with him. Did he think she didn’t want to be here? What had she done to give him that signal? Maybe he wasn’t having a good time and was trying to think of how to get out of there. But �“

You think too much, Snape, she thought, and she tried to clear her head of all thought as she said, "I’m doing okay, and you?"

"Fair," Curtis replied.

Some pointless words were spoken after that; polite chatter about work and Quidditch. Selena could feel the tense atmosphere nearly choking her. It was so thick she could have probably broken it with a hammer.

I am going to kill Melissa, Selena thought, clenching her teeth and glaring at the happy couples sitting at the other tables.

She tried to be a good date, she really did. But soon her attention had wandered back to a subject she wished she had worn out long ago…

***

"Avada Kedavra!" the figure with the wand cried. The other person fell limp, dead.

Echoes of laughter from the murderer bounced on the dark walls and Selena scream joined it. Severus isn’t dead, she thought, running faster than she ever thought possible. He’s not.

And then, as suddenly as she was in the dark hall, she was lying flat on her back, staring up at the ceiling of her dormitory and panting as though she really had just run down that long hallway. She lay staring up at the ceiling for several more minutes, letting the dream wash over her and feeling her heart race. It wasn’t real, she reminded herself repeatedly. It was a dream. It didn’t happen and it never will.

But certain parts of the dream were so real that it could have happened. Not the part with the hallway changing lengths of course, and with her running endlessly through it, but the part with Severus…that was what she had been fearing, after all…

Stop it, Selena told herself sharply.

Bellatrix, Selena thought scathingly. Why is she up so late? And who’s she talking to?

Severus? Talking to Bellatrix?! She had thought that that was one of the few thing she and Severus had in common: a mutual dislike for the haughty, poised pureblood. But she knew her brother’s voice well, and that was certainly him downstairs talking to her. In the middle of the night, no less. Selena quickly ducked down so as not to be seen.

"He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named," Bellatrix scoffed. "The Dark Lord, Severus. Yes, that’s who I mean. You are, aren’t you?"

He just doesn’t want Bellatrix on his bad side, Selena tried to convince herself. He’d never join up with You-Know-Who.

***

"You didn’t agree to come here tonight, did you?"

"Huh?" Real smooth, Snape. She looked at him, slightly dazed.

"You didn’t agree to come here tonight," Curtis said again, though this time he said it more of a statement than a question.

"No, that’s not tr �“ " Selena started to tell him, but stopped when she saw the look in his eyes.

"Why didn’t you just say so?"

"I �“ you’re �“ Curtis, you’re a nice guy. I’m just not…" She wasn’t sure what she wasn’t, so she didn’t finish and instead chose to finger the rim of her glass.

They sat silently for a few minutes, listening to other’s happiness around them, yet somehow excluded from it.

"You don’t seem happy."

Selena met his eyes, and smiled for his benefit. "I’m fine. But tonight has been �“ well, awkward."

"It’s not just about tonight, though," said Curtis. Merlin, she wished he would stop looking at her like that. "You’re just…I don’t know…troubled."

She had to look away. "I’m fine."

"He doesn’t base his joy on account of your happiness," said Curtis quietly, "so why are you returning a favor that needn’t be paid?"

He didn’t have to say which ‘he’ he was talking about. There was only one person people referred to her like that.

Selena slammed her glass down. It was a miracle it didn’t shatter.

"Would everyone stop bringing him into conversation?" she said through gritted teeth.

"You can still live your life, Selena," said Curtis, as though he hadn’t heard her. "It shouldn’t matter what he’s done with his."

"Listen up, pal �“ "

"No, Selena, you need to listen." She was surprised to hear how angry he sounded. "Both of you are two different people, and you may not see it, but people realize that. You’re living in a hole because of him �“ "

"Excuse me," said Selena in a soft, dangerous voice, "I don’t need you to tell me how to run my life, Blackwood, when you can’t even figure out how to run yours."

His eyebrows shot up. "What’s that supposed to mean?"

"Figure it out," Selena spat. She snapped at Madam Rosmerta, who was passing by, to top off her glass; looking determinedly anywhere but her date, who seemed to have the opposite idea.

"Selena…"

She waited a couple of seconds, then, seeing that he was not giving up, glared at him. "Yes?" she said waspishly.

"Look �“ "

"I am looking."

"I don’t mean literally."

"Then you’ll have to be more specific," said Selena, her cold tone matching her eyes.

"Why are you blaming yourself? You have nothing to do with him anymore �“ "

"What makes you so sure?" She regretted saying it the instant it left her lips.

Curtis’ eyebrows went way up. "Was that supposed to mean what I thought it meant?"

"How would I know?" Selena shot at him. "I’m not using Legilimency, I was trying to be courteous."

Curtis now gave her his full attention with his direct, piercing gaze. "Maybe you’re partially right, Selena. Maybe we’ve both made some mistakes in our lives. But I’m trying to fix them."

"Of course you are," Selena muttered, just loud enough for him to hear.

He chose to ignore this. "I don’t care what your brother’s done. I agreed to come here tonight because of what you’ve done. It had nothing to do with him."

"If you’re trying to pay me a compliment, you’re doing a hell of a job," Selena informed him.

"Then let me elaborate," said Curtis, giving her his broad grin that she had fallen in love with over twenty years ago. "As alike as you may be, you’re still your own person. There are plenty of people who like you and not him, and I’m sure the same could be said about your brother. I don’t care, Selena. Just try and let me, and everyone else for that matter, judge you and not him when determining your character."

"That wasn’t exactly a compliment," Selena told her glass.

"No, that was more of a lecture," Curtis admitted. "Perhaps I should try again?"

"I’m not the kind of woman to fall for petty attempts at flattery," said Selena flatly, still speaking to her mug of Firewhiskey.

"‘Petty attempts at flattery’, eh?" said Curtis, sounding amused. "How about genuine flattery? Would you fall for that?"

He was teasing her, she knew, but she wasn’t going to budge. "I’ll pass."

From the corner of her eye, she saw his eyebrows knit together slightly, then he took a drink.

Why are you being like this? she thought. This could be an opportunity for you, if you let it come. Maybe you two could be. Maybe you two would be. Or maybe not. But you won’t know unless you give him a chance. You’ve been stuck in this cloud forever, and not just since your brother’s latest murder. Why are you like this?

Another voice in her head responded: Why else? Severus. Again. It all comes back to him.

But Curtis’ words were running through her head, along with Melissa’s. Perhaps…maybe…was there more to this than she was willing to admit? Was this really about Severus?

No, she thought suddenly, no, it’s not just about him. This is about me. I don’t have the ability to trust and love, or even to really live, that’s for certain. But is that really all my brother’s fault?

Her moist eyes lifted up from her cup to her date’s gaze. When he saw her expression, his face turned to concerned. "Selena?" His hand reached out for hers, but she withdrew it and placed it in her lap.

"I’m sorry," said Selena. Her voice managed to remain steady as she spoke. She stood from the table. "But this will never work, Curtis. We both know that." She dropped some coins on the table top, keeping her eyes away from his. "I’m sorry you had to suffer through tonight; I hope I didn’t cause you too much annoyance." She smiled bitterly at this, then started to walk away.

"Selena," Curtis called after her. "Selena, wait."

She kept walking, right out the door. She was about to Apparate back home when she felt something grasp her arm. She turned around. His face was shadowed from the darkness, but certain features were illuminated in the moonlight.

"Don’t leave."

"This will never work, Curtis," said Selena again.

"Why? Why won’t it work?" His eyes were searching hers again, yet not as though he were trying to break through her Occlumency barriers. She hated that about him: the fact that he seemed to sense, or would try to sense, what she was feeling without evening reading her mind.

"Our pasts are too different �“ our views on the world are too different �“ we’re too different."

"Are we?" he asked quietly. His hand was still holding her arm, keeping her by him; yet she still could have pulled away had she chosen to.

"Yes," said Selena. "This can’t work!"

"Why?" he asked again. "Because you won’t try to make it work?"

She didn’t answer.

"I know we liked each other nearly twenty years ago. But things got in the way then for us; don’t let those same things get in the way again. I’m not saying it will work �“ I’m sure we’ve both changed. But I think, based on tonight, we might still be quite the same."

They stood for a couple moments in the prevailing silence. Then his hand, still clasped around her arm, slid down and took her hand. She didn’t pull away this time.

"Should we go back inside?" Curtis asked quietly.

Selena hesitated, then shook her head. "No…I should really…go…" But she didn’t move; she was holding a raging, fierce battle inside her. And she didn’t even have a inkling which side would win.

The couple was silent for a few minutes, as Selena’s war went on, both sides not even close to winning. Curtis interrupted the battle, inquiring in a teasing yet caring voice, "What’s it going to be, Snape? I’d wait forever for you if I could, but eventually I’ll need to eat or something."

She barely registered his words or his joke, so wrapped in her thoughts. Then, impulsively, she started walking through the dimly light streets of Hogsmeade, dragging Curtis along by the hand.

Her action was impulsive, but she had a feeling that her impulsiveness, at least this time, had been right on track. She figured they needed this time together. And they had a lot to talk about. She was through living in the past; but that didn’t mean she shouldn’t open up and share some of it.

Would she regret continuing the date later, strolling along the cobbled roads with Curtis Blackwood? She didn’t know. But she had decided that it shouldn’t matter what had happened in her past, what had happened to her brother, what had happened to her. It was time to change. And she decided it was about time that she learned to trust again. That she learned to laugh again. That she learned to cry again. That it was about time she learned to love again.

Because really, what else was there to live for?

It doesn’t matter whether he was going to ask you on a date or whether he just wanted to know how the flowers in your garden are growing, Snape, she told herself firmly. You have other priorities right now, remember?

"Nothing, Father," Selena said automatically. He’s just testing you, she reminded herself, trying to keep a hold on her temper. He wants you to slip up. Don’t give in.

***

"Firewhiskey, please," said Selena wearily, plopping herself on a stool.

"Coming up," said Tom, the barman of the Leaky Cauldron. He poured some into a glass and passed it to her.

"Thanks," said Selena, glancing around warily.

"Looking for someone?" Tom asked her.

"No," said Selena, "not really. Just…making sure that they’re not here."

Tom grinned. "I know the feeling."

No, you don’t, she thought. But she grinned back anyway, weakly.

She wasn’t actually looking for a particular person to be in there �“ she was looking to see if they had made their presence known, was a better way of putting it.

She was looking for wanted posters that bore a resemblance to her.

Luckily, she didn’t find any. Smiling slightly to herself, she sipped her drink. Now, it seemed she could have a pleasant evening, reflecting over pleasant memories, and thinking about pleasant people (namely one Curtis Blackwood). Because here, at last, was a place where her brother couldn’t haunt her in any shape or form.

Or so she thought.

"Well, well," said a slightly mocking voice. "Selena Snape."

Selena looked around. When she found the owner of the voice, her eyes narrowed slightly.

"Hello, Narcissa," she said coolly.

Narcissa Malfoy sat a few seats away from her, glowering. Though she did look rather annoyed with her present company, she also looked wearier, and as though some of her cool, sophisticated exterior had been worn away slightly. She was pale, even for her; her hair was lank in contrast to when it was usually silky and smooth; and she looked as though she had aged a lot in a short period of time. Her eyes were distinctively red and puffy, and Selena could tell this wasn’t just from the drinking.

"It’s been a long time, Selena," Narcissa sneered. "How are you doing?"

Selena shrugged. "Not the best. But I’ve been spending my time well, trying to make the best of things." She smirked. "I’ve found better things to do than what you’ve resorted to."

Narcissa held up her glass and raised her eyebrows. "Obviously not," she said, nodding at Selena’s drink before taking a sip of her own.

Selena smiled sweetly. "No no, Narcissa, I meant other things. As in what I do for a living."

Narcissa nearly choked on her drink. She set it down with forced calm and looked at Selena, her expression pure loathing. But her eyes, strangely, had become clouded. She opened her mouth in a snarl, but the barman seemed to sense that things were about to get nasty, and said quickly, "Let’s keep it friendly, ladies."

They both glared at him. Tom grinned meekly and said, "I just don’t want another brawl in here. Had one only a few nights ago. Two men, arguing over shipments of some potion ingredients. One said he hadn’t received anything, and he’d ordered several weeks ago. Well, one thing led to another, and soon they were yelling and swearing as loud as they pleased. Then one of them pulled out his wand, and it went steadily downhill from there…"

Tom continued his rambling for several minutes. Both women figured it pointless to tell him that neither of them would have pulled out wands, being much more sensible than that, and instead blatantly ignored him.

Finally Tom was interrupted by a new arrival, which seemed to make him forget all about what he was saying before. So after he had served the newcomer a drink, he went back to cleaning glasses.

Fiddling idly with some expensive looking rings on her fingers, Narcissa spoke again. "I wouldn’t have thought you, Selena, would critique the way I run my life."

Selena glanced at her.

"After all," said Narcissa, looking up from her hand and meeting Selena’s gaze, "we’re both related to men with the same job."

Forget having a fight using my wand with her, Tom, Selena thought, as she balled her hands, her nails digging into her palm. Fists are just as efficient.

Narcissa sneered. "I’m sorry," she said, not looking sorry at all. "I forgot you don’t support that way of life at all, do you?"

"Good guess," Selena snarled. "Although why you’re openly admitting that you do is beyond me."

Narcissa opened her mouth to reply, but the barman finally had the sense to glance around and check on the old school mates. They both smiled charmingly at him, then when he turned his back again, they went back to icy stares.

"It’s no secret, Selena," said Narcissa, fingering the rim of her glass. "What would be the point of denying something that everyone knows is true?"

"Then why are you still around?" Selena asked coldly. "I would have thought they’d given you a joint cell with your husband."

"I’m still here because I have done nothing wrong," said Narcissa, tossing her hair in a superior sort of fashion.

"I’m sure," said Selena sarcastically.

"You think differently?" asked Narcissa, her pale eyes silently daring her.

"Of course I do. Your whole family’s in his league."

Narcissa leaned forward slightly. "Why don’t you prove it, then? Prove that I am in service to the Dark Lord."

Selena darted a glance at Narcissa’s left forearm, which was covered in a silky, pricey fabric, but said nothing.

"That’s what I thought," said Narcissa softly, sitting up straight again. "No one else can prove it. Why should you be able to?"

"I can," said Selena, sounding bolder than she felt, "if you let me see your arm."

"And why would I do that?"

"So I can see if it bears the Dark Mark."

"I’m impressed," said Narcissa, not quite able to hide her mocking tone. "You do know your facts after all."

"Then you’ll comply?" said Selena, raising one eyebrow.

"I don’t take orders from filth," Narcissa spat.

"Gee, that’s a shame," said Selena sardonically. "You can never do what your husband tells you, then."

Narcissa chose to ignore this. "That doesn’t mean, of course," she continued, a cold note of challenge in her voice, "that there aren’t other ways of checking my arm."

"What’s that supposed to mean?" said Selena cautiously.

"Just because I won’t allow you to doesn’t mean you can’t," said Narcissa coolly. She glanced up at Selena, who looked at her blankly. "Don’t tell me you can’t put two and two together, Selena."

"Obviously I can’t," said Selena, with a shrug and a quirk of her eyebrow. "Care to tell me?"

Narcissa smirked. "You could force me."

Selena blinked, suddenly not seeing Narcissa in front of her, but Severus.

Narcissa’s smirk broadened. "Fancy that," she said softly. "The Order must be getting desperate if they’re hiring people who can’t even do the job properly."

Selena quickly pushed the memory away, leaned closer so the barman could not hear, and told her quietly, "We already know you’re a Death Eater. We don’t need any proof. But until you’re caught, like your repulsive husband, there’s not anything we can do. So just remember this warning, and take caution. Unless you want to see your husband for more than just visiting hours."

Narcissa leered forward as well. "You can’t catch me if I’m always running. Just try. I’ll always be right ahead of you, always running."

"You mean like your son?" said Selena scathingly.

Narcissa’s blue eyes went misty again, but she quickly threw back, "No, I was referring to your brother."

Selena’s eyes, unlike Narcissa’s, did not start to sting, but something in the bottom of her stomach did lurch unpleasantly. Both women were unable to think of a response, so they continued to glare menacingly. That was when Selena realized she and Narcissa had something in common (as much as the idea of somehow being like Mrs. Malfoy repulsed her): they were both worried about people they loved. Not that, of course, either of them would ever admit it aloud (or even to ourselves, really), but that didn’t change it.

Finally, Selena drew back, faced forward again, and took a sip of her Firewhiskey. Narcissa pulled back as well, brushed non-existent dust off her robes, and with a haughty glance around the room took a dainty taste from her glass.

Selena played what had just happened over in her mind, hearing Narcissa challenging her: "You could force me."

Yes, she could have very well forced Narcissa to show her the disgusting mark on her arm. She had, after all, made someone else show her their mark. Though it was quite some time ago…

***

Knock knock knock!

His back to her, Selena saw an opportunity. Levicorpus! she thought. Severus was instantly jerked into the air.

Selena just stared at it for a moment. She wasn’t totally surprised, it had been what she’d expected, but to actually see it there was something else…

"Let you down. Let you down," Selena echoed him, as though someone had pressed the replay button. "Why �“ ? How can you even ask me to do that?"

"Respect your decisions?" Selena repeated incredulously.

***

"There you go," said Narcissa disdainfully, dropping some coins onto the counter. The loud clinking snapped Selena away from her memory. "See you around, Selena," she added politely for the barman’s benefit, then she waltzed away. Selena could only shake her head slightly, and then downed the rest of her drink.

"Oh my gosh," Selena breathed, staring at Apollo in disbelief. "He wrote back?"

Apollo cocked his head and studied her with wide yellow eyes. Fingers trembling, Selena reached out and took the parchment, unrolling it slowly.

Selena blinked down at the paper several times. Then she called her brother a very crude name aloud, crumpling the paper in her fist. She looked at Apollo, who looked back with mild interest. She glanced back down at the letter, laid it on the kitchen table, and smoothed it out, re-reading it over and over. Then she said the rude name again, and stood up in a huff.

"Fine. I don’t care," she announced to no one. "I don’t give a damn about this bloody ‘contest’ �“ I lose! I forfeit! This is pointless, you jack �“ " She stopped. Who am I talking to? she wondered. Why has Severus driven me to this madness?

"Ohhh!" she groaned, slapping the letter flat on the table with her palm. "My brother is the limit!"

And on that unpleasant note, Selena Apparated to work.

***

It had been two years since she had seen Severus. The pain had gradually faded away, but the scar was still etched into her heart. But she ignored it. She tried to convince herself over and over that she could have a life without him. But it was difficult to have this life, knowing how much Severus had failed in his. How much she had failed in his.

While she had been having that silent battle, she had also been waging another war: the fact that she had not turned Severus in last time she’d had a run-in deeply disturbed her. You’re weak, she had thought repeatedly ever since. Weak…weak…weak.... So perturbed by this, she had vowed to herself that if any situation ever arose where she could have another chance at capturing, sentencing, or killing a Death Eater �“ any Death Eater �“ she would do it. But she tried to put both the issues behind her as best she could, and went on with her life. She was doing pretty nicely, too. Selena was doing very well in her job considering she had only started less than two years ago, had managed not to hear from her parents since she had moved out, and still had one of the greatest friends anyone could ask for. Yes, life for nineteen year old Selena Eileen Snape could not get much better.

"I think I have a pretty good excuse to keep him waiting, don’t you?" said Selena. "Capturing a Death Eater seems like a fair reason for being late."

"I was on my way," said Selena, eyeing the man contemptuously.

She’s lost it, Selena thought. She looked at Severus, but his face had that maddening blank look about it. She then looked back at McGonagall, who gave her a small smile.

They’ve all lost it, Selena thought. She gave Slughorn a very stiff smile. He didn’t seem to notice, though.

She stared at him for a moment, wondering how someone whom was thought to be so wise could ask such a stupid question. "Oh, I’m fine," said Selena, her tone dripping with sarcasm. "My brother’s here, your staff’s aware and even seem to be happy, sorry, ecstatic about it, and now you’re probably going to tell me some bull that Severus fed you to get back in on our side." She smiled bitterly. "Yes, I doing quite well, thanks."

"Redeem himself?" Selena cried. "He �“ "

Selena cringed inwardly at these words, but held her tongue. Dumbledore was obviously not going to listen to her. Fine, she thought sullenly, glowering at him. He’s just a foolish old man anyway.

"You know," said Selena, her eyes boring into his. "Those objects that you attach to your arm, and that heat up when they need you back at work? The devices that you had at your old job?"

It all fell into place for her in that moment: what he said wasn’t some made-up story. He was telling the truth �“ he had to be. His face was, as usual, completely blank, but his eyes had a strange look in them: he looked pained, scarred, apprehensive, almost vulnerable. She did not think she had ever seen such a look in his, or anyone’s, eyes. Trying to put the expression in his black eyes into words wasn’t possible, but that didn’t change it. And that was when she realized: this is real.

And thank Merlin for that, Selena thought.

***

"Are we all ready?" said Alastor Moody quietly.

"Yes," Remus Lupin replied softly. "I believe so."

Selena voiced that she was, so the threesome set off into the forest.

Although inside, she did not feel ready. She had been more content lately with the present situation, it was true, but she couldn’t avoid the nagging voice in the back of her head: Severus might be here…you could run into him.... She was scared of what her reaction would be if this thought came true.

Then again, it’s not like he’s the only Death Eater, Selena tried to reassure herself. Voldemort probably has hundreds of them by now…

But they were going into the woods to capture Death Eaters, and perhaps eliminate some dementors; on mission for the Order. What if they caught someone, and it was him? Or what if he showed up in the midst of some battle they were having? What if he knew that they were coming, and he and others were just waiting to spring? What if…what if…what if…

She attempted to shrug off the suddenly increased chill surrounding her, a chill that was both physical and psychological. There were dementors near.

"Are you alright, Selena?" Remus asked quietly.

She jumped slightly. "Yes, yes, I’m fine. Fine." Her tone did not match her words, but Remus let her be, and they walked for several minutes in silence.

A silvery shape suddenly came lunging at her. Selena hastily ducked. Quickly turning her head, she realized the figure was Moody’s patronus. It was hurtling straight towards a large group of dementors.

It seemed both Selena and Remus both understood what was happening at the same instant, as their voices rang out in unison: "Expecto patronum!"

Selena’s black rat snake and Remus’ turtle rushed the dementors, right behind the mountain lion. But as the group of dementors spread out slightly, with the ones who had been hidden in the back coming out, they left with violent snaps.

They did this twice more, but to no avail. The dementors were simply coming nearer and nearer, enclosing the three.

"Expecto patronum!" said Selena weakly. Her legs were shaking, she felt as though she would be sick at any moment. Her snake vanished only several seconds after leaving her wand.

White fog surrounded Selena; she couldn’t see, she couldn’t move, she couldn’t escape. There was no way out. Voices mingled and blended: she could hear her mother pleading; her father roaring; Severus shouting; herself yelling; and long, terrified screams that belonged to victims of various incidents.

Let it end, Selena thought desperately. Make it stop.

She slumped against the trees and bushes, her robes tangling amongst the twigs and branches. She didn’t have any sense of what was happening around her, still immersed in the fog and the voices. She couldn’t have known that the dementors were gliding closer, ever closer, towards the three people now quite incapable of movement…

Another voice was drifting into her ears, coming clearer over the rest: "Out of the way! That’s right, move it! Go on, get going!"

Even though Selena’s thoughts were constricted, she dimly realized that whether it was Moody or Remus who was yelling at the dementors, they were acting rather foolish. You don’t just talk to a dementor to make it leave, what did they think they were doing?

Something grabbed her firmly and hauled her upward. The cold was decreasing slightly. Selena tried to talk to whoever or whatever was there, but was too faint to do so. Still enclosed by the fog, she fell limp against the body that was supporting her, and remembered nothing else.