Chapter 1
“We’re Fine.”


“I’m scared, James,” Lily said with a trembling voice as she stared out the window into the night.

“Don’t be, we’re fine.”


Fine. A word that has edges so cloudy one can never know what it means. “Fine” is a word you use when your best friend is on the ground dying and you don’t want to tell him so, because the pain would be unbearable for both parties involved, so you hold back tears as you say “You’re going to be fine.”
Not “great”
Or “Stupendous”
But fine.

“Fine” is a word you use when inside, your emotions are running wild for some reason or another, be it unrequited love, or death of a pet, or anything horrid of the sort, and when someone says to you “Hey, you aren’t looking too good, are you okay?”
And because you don’t want to complicate their lives, you say, “I’m fine.”

Fine.
But you’re not, and you know it.

The story of Lily and James Potter does not have a happy ending. It ends in betrayal, misconceptions, and orphanage, as anyone familiar with the story of Harry Potter knows.
At least it has a happy beginning, and a somewhat joyful middle.


Lily and James Potter had gone into hiding a week ago, and hadn’t heard yet from anyone, not Albus Dumbledore, not Sirius Black, not even Peter Pettigrew, their secret-keeper.

“Don’t worry guys, I’ll keep you posted on everything going on, you can trust me,” Peter had said before hurrying away to an unknown location.

“Lily?” James called from the kitchen

“Yes?”

“Dinner.”

“What did you make?”

“Peanut butter and Jelly sandwiches,” James replied with a hint of pride in his voice.

Lily laughed as she joined him in the kitchen.

“How exquisite.”

James smiled at her warmly, but Lily could tell he was not at all sure of anything.

They ate their sandwiches in silence for a few moments, both entranced in thought.

“This is a very good sandwich,” Lily finally said.

“Well, thank you,” James replied, “I am a very accomplished sandwich maker.”

“Yea but you can’t actually cook anything.”

“Hey!”

They laughed for a good two minutes before once again falling into the still silence that held with it the fear that it so often associated with being unsure.

Lily had only eaten three bites of her sandwich when she put it down and began to stare off into space.

“Lil-?”

She looked up into James’ eyes, and saw the man she fell in love with.

Why did she love him at all?

----------------------------------------------------

“Potter!” Lily Evans yelled as she made her way out onto the grounds.
James Potter looked up startled, and noticeably pleased at the fact that Lily was calling his name, even if she was fuming mad at him.

“Yes, Lily darling?”

Lily promptly sauntered up to James, and slapped him hard across the face. With a disgusted look on her face, she turned around and walked away without a word.
James stood there, stunned for a few moments as he held his right hand up to his smarting face. He finally came back to earth when he heard laughter erupting from his best friend, Sirius Black, sitting underneath a tree.

“What was that about, mate?” Sirius chuckled.

“I’m not quite sure,” James answered. “But I probably deserved it.”

He stood and watched Lily walk back into the castle before deciding to sit down next to Sirius.

“Tell me something, Prongs,” Sirius said.

“What?”

“Why is it that you can get any girl in the entire school, except her, and she is the one you choose to chase after night and day?”

“Well, Sirius, my good man, “ James began to explain with an air of wisdom. “I haven’t a bloody clue so if you figure it out, please tell me because I sure as hell would like to know myself.”

Sirius laughed. “But she hates you!”

“Nah she’s madly in love with me, she just doesn’t know it yet.”

“So, how do you explain that?” Sirius commanded as he pointed to the large red handprint forming on James’ face.

James looked off in thought for a moment, trying to come up with a good reason.

“Love hurts, Padfoot.” He stated simply as he got up and began to walk to his next class.

----------------------------------------------------

“Lily?” James asked with concern.

“Sorry,” Lily answered as she looked away.

“You barely touched your sandwich,” James observed.

“I…I’m not hungry,” Lily said.

“Do you want me to make you something else? I know I suck at cooking but-“

“It’s okay,” She smiled up at him, but the smile did not reach her eyes.

She looked around for a moment, uneasily, and then got up to stare out the window some more.

James soon left the table himself to be with her. He stood next to her for a moment and observed her. How she leaned her head against the windowpane, how her sad eyes began to tear up when she thought no one was looking.

“You’re not that strong, Lily,” he said gently.

She looked up at him. She wasn’t strong enough to hold it in.

“Oh, James,” she sobbed as she fell into him.

Many words of comfort sprang into James’ mind. So many things he wanted to say to her, all of the clichés, but nothing he thought of would come out of his mouth, except

“I love you, Lily,” he said, and, as if he knew exactly what she was thinking, “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“It’s not me I’m worried about,” she sobbed. “What if something happens to us, both of us…what will become of Harry? I can’t…”

“We’ll be fine,”

“How do you know?” Lily replied, somewhat angrily.

“I trust Peter,” James stated simply.

Lily merely sighed in response.

“Don’t you?” James asked.

“I trusted Sirius.”

“Lily, Peter is one of my best friends, he always has been, he…” James trailed off, seeing the sadness and worry on his wife’s face.

Silently he led her to the couch and pulled her close.

“Whatever happens, Lily, I’ll be there fighting, I won’t let anyone hurt you or Harry,” she looked up at him with an unreadable expression in her eyes, “If you can’t trust Peter, can’t you at least trust me?” he pleaded.

“I never said I didn’t trust Peter,” Lily sighed. “And of course I trust you. How could I not?”

James smiled, beside himself a bit, as he held her even tighter.

“It’s the rest of the world I don’t trust,” Lily stated before drifting off into a light sleep, leaving James with his thoughts.

Ch. 2
Maybe

James was not always such a smooth talker. In fact, there was one time in his life where he was rendered speechless by none other than Miss Lily Evans. Maybe someone had put a tongue-tying curse on him. Maybe he had tripped on his shoelace and was afraid Lily saw him do it. Or, maybe it was because he had never seen her before in that light. The light of someone he felt he could love.
Whatever the reason, after said fiasco, James Potter vowed he would never make a fool of himself in front of her again.

“Lily?” James called as he followed her down the stairs.

She was too far ahead and hadn’t heard him, he quickened his pace and, once again, louder this time, “LILY!”

Lily turned to see who called her name, when her eyes rested on James Potter.

“Yes, Potter?”

“You…uh…” James panted. “You left your quill.”

“Oh! Thanks,” she replied.

For some odd reason, James couldn’t move, he wanted to act all cool about it and say “No problem,” or something, walk away, and then all would be done, just another good samaritan chasing someone down because they left a quill in class. This sort of thing happens all the time…right?

But, alas, James stood there, eerily transfixed, taking in the fact that he suddenly noticed how pretty Lily really was.

“Potter?”

“Yes?!” James snapped back into reality.

“I said ‘thanks’…”

“Well...no prob-…I mean...it was…” he stuttered, all elements of coolness eluding him. “Yea…” he finished lamely as he began to stare at his feet.

“See you later then I suppose.”

“Yea...”

As Lily hurried off to her next class, she attempted to shove the quill back into her bag. Only, when she looked at it, she realized that it wasn’t even hers.

---------------

Lily awoke abruptly to one loud snore from James. They had fallen asleep on the couch, each consumed in their own thoughts.

Something didn’t feel right. There was some feeling lurking on the edge of her soul that told her something was out of place, something neither she nor James could help. The night was too still, the air too silent, it just didn’t feel right.

Lily untangled herself from James and went to check on Harry.
The dark-haired infant was sleeping soundly in his crib without a care in the world. Lily desperately wanted to hold him, but a more convincing part of her reasoned that he was sleeping, and shouldn’t be disturbed. So Lily simply watched him sleep. He had turned one year old the past July, and he was already perfect. It takes most people years to achieve perfection, but to his mother, Harry already was.

The child slowly began to awaken, opening his bright green eyes and fixing them upon another set of eyes just as brilliant.

“Hello there,” Lily whispered.

Harry smiled his best baby smile up at her.

“You’re too cute,” Lily laughed.

---------------------

Lily glared at James with an expression so intense she could have burned holes in his head.

“Stop following me,” Lily ordered.

“I will, if you say yes.”

James had found a new tactic in the quest to gain Lily’s attention, following her around aimlessly until she finally gave in and agreed to give him a chance. However, it was sort of having the opposite effect, Lily was beginning to loathe our hapless hero more and more by the second.

“No! For the hundredth and LAST time NO!”

“Well, if it’s the last time then if I ask you again you should say yes.”

“What if I just ignored you?”

James sort of half smiled at her, but the sight of the anger etched in her face slid the smile right off his. Why did he continue to dig himself into the same hole? What was wrong with him?

“Alright, Evans. You win.”

With an air of defeat, James turned and made his way to the Great Hall for dinner. Lily watched him walk away, his head which he usually held high as he strutted about hung low, watching his feet take him away from her.

Was that a touch of pity mingling with Lily’s usual feelings of utter loathing? Did she suddenly feel the tiniest bit for the dejected boy she had just told off?

Maybe.

Maybe she kind of saw him at that moment as a real person, not just that weird arrogant kid who was seemingly obsessed with her.

Maybe he wasn’t so bad. Maybe he deserved that chance.

No. This was James Potter. Lily suddenly grabbed a hold of herself and her thoughts.

There was no way James was ever going to win her heart.


A somewhat melancholy James sat down at his usual place at the Gryffindor table. The only other member of James’ inner circle, also known as the marauders, that was sitting at the table was Remus Lupin. Remus looking somewhat ill, as if he hadn’t gotten any sleep in a week. However, this was normal, the full moon was approaching and Remus, or “Moony” was indeed a werewolf.

“What’s wrong with you?” Remus asked his friend.

“I should ask you the same question.”

“Like you don’t already know.”

James pushed his dinner away and placed his head on the table.

“I think I should just give up,” came James’ muffled voice.

“On what?” Remus inquired innocently.

James lifted his head to look at Remus with an unreadable look on his face.

“Like you don’t already know.”

“Oh, her,” Remus answered as he looked away.

James stared at him, hoping for an answer that would change everything.

“Maybe,” Remus finally said.

That was not the answer James was looking for.

------------------

James awoke at 10:07 PM to find that Lily was no longer on the couch with him. At first, he jumped up; afraid something had happened to her, when he heard footsteps up stairs in the baby’s room. He relaxed, realizing she was only tending to Harry.
But, you can never be too careful, so James crept up the stairs and into his son’s room.
There was Lily, crooning over Harry and his silly baby talk. He was starting to figure out some words, but for James’ life he could not understand them. Lily acted as a sort of interpreter, for whenever Harry said something sounding like “Doo pag” Lily swore he had said “Da da.”
“Hey,” James whispered.
Lily smiled at him in response.

“Feeling better?”

“A little.”

In the back of her mind though, Lily still wasn’t sure.