Years after Harry's days at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry had passed, Harry finally settled down with Cho Chang. They had a daughter named after his mothers middle name, Gweniveer. She, like many other young wizards and witches, were starting terms at Hogwarts; first traveling on the mighty Hogwarts Express, then finally approaching Hogwarts itself! Let us join Gweniveer.

Gweniveer: This is ridiculous!

Gweniveer was trying to find a place to sit for the remainder of the trip.

Dexter: Excuse me, but are you by any chance Gweniveer Potter?

Gweniveer: Why yes, yes I am.

Dexter: Well, you can come in here with us.

Gweniveer joined Dexter in the compartment.

Gweniveer: So, who are you two?

Dexter: The name's Dexter. I'm from a muggle family.

Alvin: And I'm Alvin, Alvin Longbottom.

The three hit things off immediately, becoming the very best of friends. Finally they reached Hogwarts. When the students were lead to the entrance, they heard a scream from a 4th year girl.

4th year girl: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! It's Mecha Malfoy!!!!

And as quickly as her scream left her mouth, a giant metallic robot came bursting from the forbidden forest.

Mecha Malfoy: Mudbloods detected. Crush. Kill. Destroy.

And all the students stood there flabbergasted with fright, when the door burst open, smacking Gweniveer in the face and making her nose bleed. A woman bolted out, wand raised and aiming at the robot.

Professor Granger: MORBEUIS!

Mecha Malfoy flew backwards 200 feet in the air then landed out of sight.

Professor Granger: Is everyone all right?

Then her eyes turned to Gweniveer.

Professor Granger: Gasp!

Gweniveer: What?

Professor Granger: You're Harry Potter's daughter, aren't you?

Gweniveer: Yes I am.

Professor Granger: You have your fathers eyes... not to mention you're wearing a t-shirt with your name on it.

Gweniveer: Oh...

Professor Granger: (looks dreamily into the air) I remember your father... we were best friends. The only one who stood in our way was that horrible Weasley ....but I took care of him... (sinister smile) I mean ...uhhhhhhhhhhhh... first years follow me!

All the first years were lead past a great hall into a giant dining area where they were put in front of the Sorting Hat when it starts to sing.

Sorting hat: You may not think I'm pretty but heck -- I'm one sexy hat! I mean, who else could keep a figure like this for a thousand years??

Professor Granger took out a finger and pulled it against her neck making the you're dead gesture.

Sorting Hat: Uhhh uhhh I mean Ravenclaw - clearly the worst of the group, Slytherin the coolest if you like to kill things, Gryffindor clearly for the loyal and the just... And Hufflepuff -- isn't it obvious they suck? Now it's time to sort the wee ones, don't be afraid, don't be shy, the worst that can happen is that you could die!

Professor Granger: When I call your name, get up here and pull the sorting hat over your head.

But as soon as the first student went up to the stool, yet again Mecha Malfoy attacked - blasting through the walls and killing many students, but it was okay because they were Slytherins.

Mecha Malfoy: Mudbloods detected.

He shot a missile at the students, but Hermione was quick to act. She grabbed the Sorting Hat and pulled out that sword from the Chamber of Secrets. She muttered an incantation which made the sword shoot a laser beam at it, which didn't do beans. So she just chucked the darn thing at the metallic Malfoy. Strangely, this made all the difference in the world and Mecha Malfoy blasted out of there.

Professor Granger: Let us continue.

After most students were called, it was finally Gweniveer's turn. She pulled the sorting hat over her head and instantly was spoken to.

Sorting hat: (sniffs) Your hair ... it's lovely. What is it that you use -- Essence of Butterbeer?

Gweniveer: Why yes, yes it – Hey! Were you sniffing my hair? You pervert!

The Sorting Hat was obviously offended and replied to her rude comment.

Sorting Hat: Very well, Hogwarts. I have an announcement to make for a new house!

Everyone: Gasps.

Sorting Hat: Yes, yes I know this student shows great signs of ??? Uhhhhhhhhh low confidence and uhhhhh um what's that thing -- you know -- when you don't have dignity??

Professor Granger: Non-dignity-ness??

Sorting Hat: No, no that's not it. Oh yeah, shame. Low confidence and shame. Alas, the new house shall be named LOSER!!!

Gweniveer: You have got to be (beep)in' me...

Hagrid had moved a small four-seater table for Gweniveer. Professor Granger strictly pointed at the table and magically made a house crest for Gweniveer and yet again magically sewed it on her Hogwarts outfit. Growing impatient, she cast the morbieus spell and Gweniveer levitated over to her lonely and barren table.

She ate alone, then was appointed prefect for her house, for she was the only person in the house. A teacher was unfortunate enough to learn that he became the head of her house. He was the new defense against the dark arts teacher, professor Hinlly. Didn't make much of a difference, though, for he was a beatnik and that was all Gweniveer heard of him and her house ever mentioned in the same sentence again. And in case you've been wondering where Alvin and Dexter ran off to; they were sorted into Ravenclaw. Gweniveer felt bad for them.

After the feast was concluded, Professor Granger informed Gweniveer that her house was added during the banquet.

Professor Granger: Your password is diffy winkle and it's located on the second floor. Oh and one thing. Say hello to Myrtle for me.

Gweniveer: What? Who's Myrtle?

But Professor Granger left her hangin'. Gweniveer, with quite a bit of trouble, found her way to her dormitory. When she reached it she saw a huge panting of a clown. Clowns terrorize Gweniveer, now imagine, if you will, how frightened she was when it spoke to her.

Clown Painting: GWAHAHAHA HIYA LITTLE GIRL!! CARE FOR A BALLOON ANIMAL?

Gweniveer: D... d... diffy winkle!

She didn't even care what the freaky clown painting said, she just ran through the entryway screaming. Although that was no scream compared to the scream she let out when she got into her dormitory. Which, was a bathroom.

Gweniveer: My dormitory is a bathroom!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Moaning Myrtle: What are you complaining about (sob) you didn't die in here!

But Myrtle's tears dried up laughing at the fact that Gweniveer didn't have to sleep in the bathroom. Oh, it was worse. She had to sleep and do her work in the Chamber of Secrets. Moaning Myrtle informed Gweniveer how to get inside her dormitory.

Gweniveer: Okay, this sucks. But how bad can it be?

The scream that Gweniveer let out was heard all over the grounds.

Gweniveer: There is a dead snake in my Dormitory!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gweniveer soon fell not to sleep - but occasionally drifted off into a frightened slumber using a dead rat as a pillow.

The next day, Gweniveer sat lonely at her table when a owl swooped down and dropped her class schedule on her plate of rabbit meat and then pooped on her head. She read the contents of the letter.

1.Monday, the Loser house will be joined with the remainder of the Slytherins for a double potion session.

2.Tuesday, the Loser house will be taught alone defense against the dark arts lessons.

3.Whatever is left

She finished reading her schedule and decided that she would start for her first class. As she reached her first class there was an evil looking man with a long nose who greeted her with a sinister smile.

Professor Snape: Miss Potter, what a delightful treat! I'm looking forward to our lessons ahead.

She found a seat and they began potions. Snape was rambling about a sleeping potion when she heard the words “test on students.� Now he looked over to her and jumped over a few desks laughing sinisterly and forced her mouth open, kissed her then poured the potion down her throat.

Snape: Sleep, my sweet! Bwahahahhahaha!

Months had passed

Professor Granger: Miss Potter.. wake up. Wake up, Miss Potter!

Gweniveer: Wha???

Professor Granger: You need to hurry down to the quidditch stadium. It's your house versus Slytherin for the quidditch cup!

Gweniveer: But...

Professor Granger: No time! Get down there!

So she did

The crowd was huge -- all wearing the team they were supporting's house colors. The Slytherin team entered the field. Both teams met each other and were forced to shake hands by Madam Hooch. Slytherin's captain and seeker was Bingo Billson. Their beaters were Fred and Geraja Nicleson. Their chasers were Hilib Truphet and Mecha Malfoy. Their goal person the Sorting Hat only hardcore.

Now the Loser's team captain and seeker was Gweniveer Potter. Their chaser was Gweniveer Potter. Their beaters were Gweniveer Potter, and their goal person Gweniveer Potter. The reason why Gweniveer Potter is the only person on the team is because she's the only person in the Loser house.

Oh and the players have taken off! Madam Hooch has blown her whistle!

But as soon as Madam Hooch blew her whistle... smack! The snitch smacked Gweniveer in the face and she fell off her broom, although the snitch was still on the side of her face stuck there. You see, the snitch made a dent in her face at such a proportion that it could not be unstuck.


After she woke from her concussion, it was the last day -- and I'm just going to do this because that J.K lady always ends her books like this...

“AHHHHHHHHHH!!! Voldemort!!! RUN!!�

“THANK GOD HARRY POTTER IS HERE HE SAVED US ALL WE LOVE YOU HARRY!!�

Anyways, when Gweniveer got home she smacked her dad because he said the school was the best, and when he asked her what house she was in she casted one of the three unforgivable curses on him.


The end.