Witchy Woman

It all began in the second week of October during my fifth year. That was an interesting time in my life. It was the time period when I was getting over being a bit notorious for chasing girls. I don’t know what it had been about pursuit that I found enthralling, but I did it all the same. There was the rush of adrenaline when coming in contact with a girl, the flirting and buttering up. Then there was the multiple asking and the multiple rejections. My wit would finally settle in, and she would agree. She would agree because she wanted to date me since the beginning, but didn’t because I had a small reputation. I’m not going to lie about it; everything every girl said was true. After the chase, everything I found interesting about the girl – the attraction, the electricity, the charm – disappeared. Said girl was a complete and utter bore. I think the girl was like that in the beginning, but I didn’t take note until I got her. So I would dump her. It wasn’t like I meant to do it, but I couldn’t stay with someone I couldn’t stand.

But I hadn’t done that in a while. No, I had a girlfriend. Actually, I had an ex-girlfriend. Norah Kelley and I were taking a break. We had begun dating in the beginning of fourth year and were perfect together, but she wanted to take a little hiatus. What could I say? I knew she’d be back. We were meant to be.

I have known Norah forever. She was the only daughter of a pure-blood wizarding family, and I the only son of one. Plus, the two families happened to be best friends. Our parents knew each other since school; she lived about five minutes down the road from my house and she was one of my few playmates in my youth. I loved Norah.

Before, when I chased girls, Norah was the one that was on my mind through it all. She understood me. We understood each other. There was no doubt in my mind we would end up married. It’s what made sense. She was the girl next door.

The castle was chilly and quiet, causing our voices to echo through the empty corridors. Outside, the sky was a cloudy purple, which was a nice relief from the stone grey. We could hear the distant whistle of the wind through the trees of the Forbidden Forest in the night air. It was approaching midnight as Sirius and I walked toward the portrait leading to the Gryffindor common room.

Even though it was a few hours past curfew, it didn’t stop us from a snack run. Usually we would have brought the Invisibility Cloak, but we deemed it unnecessary. Detention didn’t faze either of us much and we both knew the castle as well as our faces, which was saying something, seeing how often Sirius looked in the mirror. With our stealth, Marauder’s map and superior knowledge of the passageways, the Invisibility Cloak wasn’t needed, especially for something as simple as a trip to the kitchen.

“Think Moony is awake?� I asked Sirius, who was taking a swig of butterbeer. He shrugged.

“Probably reading or something equally boring,� he answered, sounding bored. “Or maybe he’s still patrolling, since he’s a prefect and all.� The word prefect was said with an air of supremacy and it made me snort. Sirius, Peter and I were all a bit angry with Remus. He had violated rule seventeen of The Code of the Marauders. It clearly stated, “No position of power shall be held, which discriminates against our Marauder ways.� Prefects were only out to get us; they were the bane of our existence.

“Gotta feel sorry for him though,� I replied, climbing through the portrait hole.

“Patrolling with Evans, it must be torture.� Sirius snickered.

“That’s a good point. She’s Satan if I ever met him.� I chuckled easily, no doubt in my mind that he wasn’t correct.

It was at that point we came face-to-face with the one we were discussing – Lily Evans. And she had heard us.

Sirius and I hated her. There wasn’t much more to it than that. She was the biggest goody-two-shoes ever. Lily Evans had never broken a rule in her life, she was obsessed with school and hardly saw daylight because she lived in the library. When I say obsessed, I’m not exaggerating. If she didn’t get the best grade or learn the spell the quickest, she got upset or really angry. Last year, she began to cry because, of what I assume, a low grade on a paper. That was when we classified her as mental. She never laughed at a prank, and if I hadn’t heard her laugh with her friend, I wouldn’t have thought she could.

That brings us to another point, her friends. She had them. It was beyond me how she was so popular. Not nearly as popular as myself, naturally, but she really did have a lot of friends. Everyone liked her – even some boys!! I really had no idea how. I mean, sure, she was okay looking, if you could get past the horns and pitchfork, but come on. Looks aren’t everything! Especially in terms of friendship. Look at Peter, he wasn't nearly as handsome as me, but it never bothered me. I didn’t know how her friends could stand to be around her, let alone romantic interests. Lily Evans was insufferable. I couldn’t stand to have to talk to her for more than ten seconds, but was usually subjected to her yelling because of her “prefect duties.�

Worst of all, she was really conceited. Oh yes! She had a stick up her bum and her nose in the air. She really thought she was the best at everything and no one could beat her. She pranced around the school with her stupid red hair and million books crammed into her green bag, thinking she was so much better than everyone else – thinking she was so cultured and informed. Lily Evans never said it, but I could tell how much she thought of herself, how arrogant she really was. Yes, I could see right through her sweet, caring, nice-to-first-years cover. She thought she was so great, so saintly, so special, with her annoyingly bright green eyes. Only I knew the truth.

“Potter,� Lily Evans said, her voice icy and full of spite. I didn’t answer, but simply crawled into the common room and stood. Good thing I grew over the summer, because I was now taller than her. Last year, we were both about five foot seven, but I finally sprouted and stood proudly at six feet.

“Where were you?� she demanded. Sirius stood beside me now.

“Kitchen,� I said coolly, scanning the common room for the current girl I was after – Norah Kelley. Only I didn’t have to chase her much. I knew she cared for me and would return to my side.

Norah and Lily weren’t friends really. Well, I didn’t think so anyway. I knew they shared a dorm and spoke, but for some reason, Lily didn’t really like the fact that Norah was dating me or dated me.

Lily Evans’ green eyes were full of disgust. At that moment, I couldn’t understand how any man in his right mind could think of her as pretty. She was just annoying and judgmental – always in everyone else’s business.

“What is it to you?� I asked.

“I’m a prefect,� she answered in a dignified voice, which was under a layer of deep-seated anger.

“So?� Sirius interjected. “Are you going to give us detention, Evans?� Sirius laughed, as did I.

“Uh-oh, Padfoot, we might have to write lines!�

“Or clean the trophies!� he said dramatically.

“Anything but that!!� I feigned to plead. The common room was full, even if it was after curfew, and watching us in amusement. We did enjoy the attention.

I could see something flicker in her eyes. We were making a fool out of her, undermining her authority and she didn’t like it.

When she didn’t respond, Sirius leaned back with a smirk, crossing his arms unperturbedly. “So what is it, Evans? Detention? Turning us into McGonagall? Dumbledore? The Minister of Magic?� Again, she didn’t answer. I could see the satisfaction on her face though; something was brewing.

“No,� Lily Evans said simply. Both Sirius and I narrowed our eyes at her.

“Why?� I finally asked suspiciously.

“Well,� she said, speaking slowly. “I’ve never been one to get in between romance. I guess I’m just a softy.� Everyone must have gotten something we didn’t, because they all broke out in whispers.

“What are you talking about, Evans?� asked Sirius with the same confusion I felt. She let out a little giggle, which was very unlike her. This was bad.

“I mean, I should have known when I saw you two in the broom closet.�

“What broom clos– wait! We were hiding from you and Moony. We don’t like each other!� I cried. I could see Evans’ eyes laughing at me.

“Whatever you say.� My eyes flashed now. I could feel my cheeks burning as the room erupted in laughter.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Moony and Wormtail on the ground, howling with laughter.

“Goodnight James, Sirius,� Lily Evans said and began to walk away. But before she disappeared completely, she turned halfway around, her red hair flying over one shoulder and smiled. It was a smile full of mirth. I balled my hand in a fist.

I never hated her more than in that instant. She was straight from hell. The thing I hated most wasn’t what she said, it was bad, but the fact that she was cleverer than me was worse. I was supposed to be the witty, cheeky, funny one. Everyone was laughing of course, but at me! That wasn’t the way it was supposed to be. Lily Evans was the devil! All I wanted to do was grab my wand and poke her mocking green eyes out.

I was fuming. It was just too unexpected. Since when did Evans actually retort? She would yell, of course, but not actually do anything.

And she was gone, back to her friends, looking greatly pleased. I didn’t even know Lily Evans knew my first name until that day.

Both our faces bright red and our knuckles white with wrath, Sirius and I went up to our dorm, to escape the laughter and gossip of the common room. But of course, as we walked the stairs together, there were a number of whistles, claps and yells.

How could they believe that? Sirius and me, come on! Everyone knew that we liked girls, not each other. I had never felt so mortified.

Well, until the following morning at breakfast …

Chapter Two

I entered the Great Hall at the time I did every morning, about twenty minutes before breakfast ended, feeling a bit groggy. I must have looked a mess. I couldn’t sleep the previous night; I was too angry and I hated going to bed angry. So I overslept, more than I usually did, and didn’t have time to shower. My hair was everywhere, tousled and dishevelled, and my eyes half-open. Usually, I liked my hair messy. But I liked it a contained mess, something I had control over. That morning, even the best wizard couldn’t have controlled the cowlicks in my hair.

I was only vaguely aware of the whispers that broke out throughout the room. I didn’t really notice the disappointed look on some girls’ faces, or the relief on others that I had eyed in the past. I had that reputation, remember?

I could hear a distinct chorus of “I knew it� and “I figured as much�. Many of the guys looked pleased that their competition had been eliminated, but honestly, my eyes weren’t even open. One thing was for sure – all of Hogwarts seemed to think that I was having a secret love affair with Sirius. Later that day, the rumours would escalate to people like Snape and Slughorn being involved. There would be talk of midnight rendezvous, secret affairs and illegitimate children (don’t ask me about that one!) by that afternoon.

Norah chuckled when she saw me. She knew I wasn’t gay, but found the whole thing quite amusing. I gave a weak smile in her direction, knowing we still had something.

Everything came rushing back extraordinarily fast as my eyes fell on Lily Evans. She was eating a piece of toast, and reading The Daily Prophet, a small smile dancing on her lips. I couldn’t tell if she was actually reading the paper and smiling because of something in it, or listening to the various conversations around her. I concluded that it was the latter and the anger flooded through my veins. I really wanted to hit her, her red hair and green eyes. I HATED THOSE EYES!

I had never been so angry with anyone in my life, let alone a girl. But she was awful! She beat me at my own game and I didn’t like it. She completely ruined my reputation and dignity. Everyone thought I interested in blokes! It wasn’t fair; and she didn’t even care. I wanted an apology and a public statement admitting that she lied. Of course, being fifteen, I didn’t care that she just did the same thing we were attempting to do.

If Sirius and I had achieved success, she would be the humiliated one, her prefect status mocked. But that was not the case. I didn’t give Evans enough credit. She was quick on her feet and smart, not to mention possibly as verbally gifted as me. She wasn’t as prissy as I had anticipated, but she sure was ruthless and knew how to bring a person down.

I ignored the Marauders and sat down across from Evans. At the sound of me setting my bag down, she glanced up for a second, only to return to her paper.

“Wild night, Potter?� she asked with a small smirk, her eyes still scanning The Daily Prophet. A few people around laughed and I immediately tried to smooth my hair down, which was odd, because I always did the opposite. One thing was for sure; I didn’t need anyone thinking a boy caused my messy hair.

“Actually, no,� I said, trying to sound stern and believable. “You’re a liar! You know that I’m not, erm, what you say I am! Why did you say it?� I asked angrily. Evans looked up at me with interest.

“I can say whatever I like. You and Black have an unusually close relationship. I just call them like I see them,� she said simply. My eyes narrowed in disgust. Yes, for once in my life, I was appalled. She was really cruel. How could a Gryffindor be that terrible? She didn’t even care that this would probably follow me until I die.

“You’re mean,� I said genuinely, because she was.

“I’m…mean?� she asked after a second, as if she didn’t believe was she heard. “That’s what you have to say, Potter? You think I’m mean?�

I nodded, hoping to have struck a nerve.

“All I wanted was an apology. I thought you had a little bit more integrity than to spread lies. Guess I was wrong.� I lied too. I didn’t really think she had more integrity, but I guess I might have expected it. She was a Gryffindor and everyone always raved about her kindness, charm and wit. I never saw it in her, but I figured it might exist, even if it was only a cover-up. Then again, she didn’t like me much, I don’t think.

“Integrity? When you start showing some respect toward everyone around you is when I’ll apologize!� she yelled, standing. I had never seen her so angry, which was strange, because I hardly said a word. “You’re just a stupid prat who thinks you’re better than everyone else because you can ride a broom. NEWSFLASH, Potter, you aren’t better than anyone. You’re just a rich git who has never had to work for a thing in your pathetic life.�

Evans was harsh. I looked her in the eyes for a moment.

“And sorry, but no one actually cares if you and Black have a thing. You think that you’re the centre of everyone’s life, but you aren’t. No one gives a damn about your dismal life, which will amount to nothing!�

Evans was gone; she stormed out of the Great Hall and left me there. Her words stung and once again, I was publicly mortified. The whole school was watching. How I despised Lily Evans! People cared about my life and me. I was important. I did need one thing though: payback.

“I HATE EVANS!� cried Sirius in the dorm later that night. “I really loathe Lily Evans.�

“If you hadn’t been wandering around after curfew, none of this would have started,� nagged Remus. Both Sirius and I spun around and glared at him.

“It wouldn’t have happened if Lily Evans wasn’t a two-legged monster!� I exclaimed. What was with Moony? He frowned slightly.

“She’s not that bad,� he said vaguely. I could see Padfoot’s eyes bulge out of his head. Neither of us cared if Moony knew more about her than us. She was the epitome of evil to us.

“Not – that – bad?� he breathed, shocked. “THE WHOLE SCHOOL THINKS PRONGS AND I CRAWL INTO THE SAME BED AT NIGHT!� he screamed.

“You do realize people are going to start thinking we’re involved,� interjected Peter. He certainly didn’t want that reputation anymore than I did. Moony sighed, obviously in a fix.

“Fine. What do you suggest we do?� Remus finally asked, giving into us.

“Hmmm,� mused Sirius, happy that Remus was in.

“What do we know about her?� I asked. We needed to start at the bottom, with simple information, before we could get sweet revenge.

“She loves school,� Padfoot suggested.

“You don’t really know that. That’s an implication,� Moony reprimanded. Padfoot rolled his eyes.

“Fine, we imply that Lily Evans loves school.�

“She’s good friends with Aletta Richmond.�

“But keeps to herself, in a way,� Remus added.

“Slughorn loves her and she’s really good in Potions.�

“She has green eyes.�

“She had red hair.�

“She’s popular.�

“She’s Muggle-born.�

Okay, so we didn’t know much about the girl. Well, I suspect Moony might have known more, but didn’t offer any information.

“She’s the only person, not in Slytherin, who doesn’t like us,� said Peter. That was true, but even most Slytherins loved us. They weren’t all bad actually; it was pretty much only Snape and his gang.

“Which makes her a weirdo, since it’s impossible not to like us,� I said cockily. It was like a light bulb went on in Sirius’ head. He put a finger in the air, as if saying ‘eureka.’

“Got it!� he exclaimed. “I have a plan.�

“Spill it,� I said with a grin.

“Okay. You said it yourself – everyone likes us. We’re charming, we’re witty, and we’re handsome. So what Moony can do is ask her out!�

“What?� asked Remus, leaping from his seat.

“Just listen,� said Sirius, his hands in from of himself as protection again Moony.

“What kind of plan is that? And what would it do?�

“Listen!� Moony obliged and waited for the second half of Sirius’ plan. “Okay, since Evans likes Moony best, he’ll ask her to Hogsmeade. And then make her fall in love with him.� I didn’t follow the plan either. What was wrong with Padfoot’s mind? But, I still continued to listen silently. “And then,� he said excitedly. This was the grand finale. “You, Moony, will dump her!�

“I’m not doing that!� he cried. “There are so many things wrong with that plan. What happened to pranks and jokes?�

“Lily Evans is cunning and crafty. She’s smart and she’ll be expecting something like that. We need to go deeper than a prank. She’ll either stop the prank or won’t care about it. With this, she’d have to live with the fact that she fell for a Marauder.� Sirius did make a good point, I must say.

“I won’t do it,� Moony said flatly. That was it. It was Moony’s verdict and there was no swaying it.

Sirius turned to me. “Will you do it, Prongs?� I looked at him skeptically. I wasn’t sure. There was no doubt in my mind that Evans would date me, but did I want to spend a whole day with her and possibly more?

“I don’t know,� I finally answered.

“Come on! Then everyone will know we aren’t gay.�

“Why don’t you do it?� I snapped.

“I am occupied during the next two Hogsmeade trips. I happen to know that Norah isn’t going with anyone. It’ll be the perfect way to make her jealous. Besides, Evans is more likely to fall for you.�

“No she isn’t! What’s that supposed to mean anyway? That I’m Lucifer’s type?� I asked angrily. Everything was always pinned on me.

“No,� Sirius defended. “Well, yes. More than I am,� he continued after a pause.

“No I’m not! She called you good-looking.�

“She also called me gay!�

“Minor detail,� I mumbled under my breath.

“Look, are you going to do it or not?� Padfoot asked, annoyed. “You want revenge, don’t you?� I bit my lip, looking at the expectant faces of Sirius, Peter and Remus. Yes, I wanted revenge. I supposed Lily would have to be behaved on a date.

I knew it wasn’t a good idea. What good could I get out of asking Lily Evans out, the one girl I hated? The idea of getting her to fall in love with me and then dump her seemed like the bad romance novels my mother used to read. It was stupid and would probably never work. How could I charm a girl if I wanted to punch her every time my eyes graced her red hair?

“Unless you don’t think you can do it,� Padfoot said. That did it, and he knew it would make me do it. And it would make Norah jealous…

“Of course I can,� I huffed.

“Prove it,� challenged Sirius. He knew me too well.

“I will.�

So we schemed. Remus was hesitant the whole time, but he knew his true place. He knew that, at heart, the Marauders came first – we were his family. And I don’t think he wanted to be known as the werewolf who likes male werewolves…

We decided that there would be about five dates needed, at least two snogs (I cringed) and at least three meaningful conversations, or “heart-to-hearts� and I would ask her out the following day. It was strange, because I still loved Norah. I was positive Norah was the one for me. But, then again, I didn’t have any reason to think otherwise. I dated a few other girls, but never got to know them, so in retrospect, Norah was the only girl I really knew. We were friends, and I didn’t learn until later that what one feels when one is young isn’t always the same when one ages and changes as a person.

That night I couldn’t sleep. I wondered how Lily would accept my invitation to Hogsmeade. Would she smile and whoop with joy, or say ‘of course’ politely? I hoped she wouldn’t be too bad on the date or that she wouldn’t nag or rant about school.

Someday Soon

The next morning I left for the Great Hall considerably earlier than usual. That was where I’d ask Evans out, and stage one of the plan would be well on its way. She was sitting in the same spot as the day before. Her dark red hair, which was a few inches down her shoulder, was parted to the side, half pulled back by a small clip. She was reading the paper once again. I didn’t understand why she would be reading the paper while surrounded by her friends; it didn’t make sense.

At the urging of Padfoot, I strolled over to her and sat across from her. I had taken extra care to make sure my hair wasn’t messier than usual -- I didn’t need another one of her comments. She didn’t look up this time, but flipped the page of her newspaper and idly nibbled on a piece of toast.

I took a few strips of bacon and a scoop of scrambled eggs. It was strange to be at breakfast early enough to actually take my time and eat.

I wasn’t exactly sure what to say. She looked almost peaceful. For a second, I could almost forget that she was an evil, cunning, cold-hearted monster, but only for a moment.

After a few bites of food and looks from Sirius, clearly saying “Go on with it,� I went for it. Now or never, I thought. The sooner I asked, the sooner she would accept and the sooner we could plan for stage two. I cleared my throat, hoping to get her attention. Nothing.

“Excuse me, Lily Evans?� I had no idea what to call her. Lily sounded much too friendly to call the girl I loathed. But Evans was too formal, and Lock Ness was a bit inappropriate for the situation. She looked up at me, as did half the table. They were hungry for another fight, another laugh, really.

“What do you want now?� she asked somewhat impatiently. I have to say; she did not look kind. I was intimidated. Once again, how anyone could even like her baffled me.

“Well,� I started, gaining a bit of confidence by the task at hand. Everyone loved me. “How would you like to accompany me to the next Hogsmeade trip?� I gave her my winning grin.

She looked at me blankly for a moment, unable to comprehend what I was asking.

“Are you serious?� she asked, her eyes unreadable. The girl sitting next to Lily Evans, Aletta Carson, was watching with interest, as were many other people. I could see Norah from the corner of my eye. She didn’t look too pleased, and that made me a bit happier.

“Yes, I am. You’re a lucky lady.� So Lily Evans wasn’t so unlike the other girls.

“Lucky lady?� she asked, disbelieving. That was when she began to chuckle. Her laugh might have been nice, had it not been so maniacal. “Are you on drugs, Potter?� she asked between laughs.

“Umm. No. I don’t think so, unless Padfoot…. What’s so funny?� I could feel it. She was going to publicly humiliate me again. After a few moments, she straightened up, her laughter subsiding.

“Honestly, Potter, what made you think that I would go on a date with you?� I frowned slightly.

“Everyone wants to date James Potter,� I answered, never doubting that statement for an instant. I looked down for a moment and then back up at Evans. She didn’t look as hateful as she did in the past, but rather curious. “James Potter is smart and charming and funny…�

“And referring to himself in third person,� finished Lily. A few people laughed. “Sorry, James Potter, but I don’t think you are any of those things. Besides, why would you even want to go out with me? You hate me.� So Lily Evans was a bit quicker than I thought. She knew I didn’t like her. Well, maybe I wasn’t so discrete…

Not many people were watching, because Lily and I were simply conversing. She wasn’t yelling and neither was I. We were just speaking.

“No I don’t,� I lied through my teeth. Of course I did, she was a she-devil.

“Right,� she said doubtfully. “I won’t go out with you, James Potter. You’re an immature, conceited jerk,� Lily said softly. I couldn’t read her. She didn’t seem firm or angry. But I was. For the millionth time in my life, I wanted to yell at her. I wanted to tell her that I didn’t even want to go out with her, that it was supposed to be her downfall. How could she reject me? She wasn’t so great. If anyone lived on a high horse, it was definitely her.

I didn’t even get the last word. Lily and Aletta Carson were gone by the time I could think of a stinging retort. I knew one thing, I would get Lily Evans to date me if it were the last thing I ever did.

I knew that it was all part of her arrogance. She didn’t think I was good enough for her. And the worst part was that she considered herself too good for me. I would show her. I was more insulted that she didn’t want to date me than I was at her calling me a conceited jerk. She would be begging me to date her. It would just take some time … and observation.

“So, what are you going to do now?� asked Moony, as we walked to Transfigurations. We were about five minutes late, so no one was in the hallway. He sounded a bit relieved that the plan didn’t work. Oh, it would though….

The only thing was, I didn’t want to tell anyone about my secret desire to get Lily Evans to fall for me. I had never felt so strongly about something. I wasn’t sure where it came from either. It was more than just wanting to prove her wrong. I wanted her to want me. It wasn’t just my revenge; I needed her to want to be with me. So I was going to observe. I started the whole thing off knowing nothing about Lily, but that wouldn’t be for long.

Sirius shrugged. “What do you think, Prongs? I don’t think even you could get her to fall for you, mate.�

I nodded.

“Let’s just see if she does anything else to strip us of our manliness. Then we’ll act. I really don’t want to deal with Evans now.� Sirius must have thought me really disheartened by being rejected, because he didn’t push.

I’m not really sure why I didn’t tell my friends about my plan to win Evans’ love, only to dump her. It was just personal, I guess. I had to do it on my own. It was on a whole new level. It wasn’t Padfoot, Moony or Wormtail she rejected. It was me. And it was me who needed to get revenge.

We got detention in Transfigurations for being late, something Moony wasn’t too happy about. Then it was Potions. That was the first time I ever really noticed Lily Evans. I mean, before them, I never paid her any attention. She was working with a Ravenclaw boy named Joel Boras. I didn’t know him, but he had wavy brown hair and matching eyes. I found that somewhat odd, because Lily’s friend, Aletta, was in the class, yet they didn’t partner together. I really didn’t think much of it though, because I didn’t know anything about Lily or whom she regularly partnered with in Potions.

I knew Evans was good in Potions. Slughorn was practically in love with her. Honestly, I think if Lily were three years older, he would have asked her to have his children. Funny how those things turn out. Anyway, I was never one for Potions and usually tuned out when he started raving about her. He revered her and hearing how Lily was such a natural and how he “couldn’t have done better himself� never really appealed to me. But I could almost see why he went on about her.

She knew exactly what she was doing and could spot a wrong ingredient or step ten yards away. She would just stop what she was doing and call across the room. “Not boomslang skin yet, wait until it begins to bubble,� or “Two stirs counterclockwise, but after it turns lavender.� It was crazy! I could hardly focus on my own potion, let alone everyone’s in the room.

She even helped Peter, and it didn’t seem like the first time. He really didn’t have the attention span for Potions, but neither did I, not in class at least. I noticed Peter looked to her for instruction and help. She smiled easily and graciously helped him. I guess it was really just Padfoot and me that she hated, because she seemed to get on well with Remus and Peter.

Then I watched her at lunch. It wasn’t a prolonged event; I stole glances at her throughout the meal. I guess I figured I could pick up a part of her by her facial expression. That I could somehow find a way to win her affection by her movement and bits of conversation she shared with her peers.

I noticed that she laughed a lot at lunch. Breakfast seemed to be reserved for the newspaper and I later observed that dinner was spent reflecting on her day and sometimes doing homework. But at lunch, she talked and smiled, gossiped and enjoyed her meal.

“Are you paying attention, Prongs?� asked Peter. I snapped back to focus.

“Yep,� I lied.

“Someone is talking to you.� I looked up. Indeed, someone was speaking to me. It was a fourth year, I thought, but wasn’t completely sure. She was short and thin with blonde hair. She was the sort of girl who moved along with a throng of girls and giggled a lot.

“Hi James,� she said and smiled sweetly.

“Hi,� I answered briskly, unsure why she was wasting my time.

“I was wondering if you’d like to go on the next Hogsmeade trip with me.�

I looked her over. She wasn’t bad. But I didn’t really think that I would be single when the next Hogsmeade trip rolled around. I was sure Norah and I would be reunited by then. But I agreed anyway. I didn’t have any other prospects, so I went for it. I learned that the girl’s name was Leah Churchill.

One thing I did realize on my first day of observation was that Lily Evans was easier to watch than I expected. I could stand her when she was making a potion or talking with friends. Still, when she looked at me with her bright green eyes, white hot something ran through my veins. I’m just not sure it was always anger.

Chapter Four – Make Me Lose Control

Operation Evans was put on hold after my first day of observation. It was put on the back burner for another project. Every second we weren’t in class, pranking or playing Quidditch, we were researching how to become Animagi. Even the teachers noticed a severe decline in pranks. But Moony came first, a prefect or not.

October quickly fell into November. Winter, as far as I was concerned, officially began. That was when my inspiration to get on revenge on Evans returned. It was exactly a month after the last incident. I noticed that our little showdowns seemed to occur in intervals. And every one of them began to direct more toward me than any of the other Marauders. I’m not sure why – I guess she thought me to be the worst. Fortunately, the school had realized that Padfoot and I were not romantically involved not too long after Lily Evans declared it so.

Norah and I had gotten back together not long after I asked Lily Evans out. She told me she couldn’t understand why I would go after Lily. Then she asked me why I did. I went with the classic “to make you jealous� answer. Norah went for it, of course, and responded by telling me that I always had her love.

So Norah and I could be seen holding hands, hugging in the halls and kissing in various places. I was happy. I was always happy around Norah, I learned. She understood me, and I understood her. It felt right when I was with her. And I floated on a cloud since we had gotten back together.

Sirius, on the other hand, cleared his image by dating several of the biggest gossipers in the school. He didn’t like it much though and decided it wasn’t such as good plan. After Bertha Jorkins, he declared ‘Never again’ and set higher standards for the next few dates.

We had been so busy with the Animagi work that we had completely neglected our pranks. We were so close though, that we decided we could take a day off. I always found it funny how Remus could go from a disapproving prefect to the mastermind of a prank. It was an interesting transition.

It wasn’t one of our best pranks, but with one day to plan, it was the best we could come up with. It would have been bloody funny too. The plan was to use a clever little spell we learned to get a lucky girl to go around saying things like ‘Professor Slughorn, will you stir my cauldron?’ and ‘Madam Pomfrey can heal my wounds any day.’ Okay, so it wasn’t the cleverest idea, but it was a prank.

Moony was going to do the spell on whatever girl was closest to us. Coincidentally, it happened to be Lily Evans’ friend Aletta. It was all in order. We were positioned perfectly, concealed behind a couch. The only problem was, just as he was about to say the spell, two stupid first years zoomed by. Needless to say, he lost his aim and misspoke the incantation. But it did get her and somehow the table next to her.

It looked like she was being attacked, from what we could see. There was green smoke everywhere and pieces of wood flying in all directions. So we didn’t have the clearest view – it was a bit hazy.

“Uh-oh,� Sirius whispered, unable to remove his eyes from the scene in front of us. I glanced at Remus, who looked utterly horrified and Peter, who seemed somewhat fascinated. I lingered somewhere between the two. I didn’t want anyone to get hurt, but it would be a good story to tell in a few weeks.

After the smoke cleared, a few of Aletta’s friends took her to the Hospital Wing. She didn’t look good at all. One of her arms was severely burned and her hair was frizzed out like an afro, which Sirius was sure to make noticed by shouting out, “It’s a good look for you.� The table bits had hit quite a few people, but Evans mended their cuts. I didn’t know where she learned to do it, for I had never seen a student heal even minor cuts. I have to say, I was a bit impressed.

I thought we got out of it. I thought, or hoped, that maybe Evans forgot about the ordeal while she was helping all of the injured – wrong. After everything was settled and Moony repaired the table, she strode over to us.

“What did you do, Potter?� she demanded coldly. I couldn’t believe it when she addressed me! Why did she single me out? She must have seen the spell coming from Moony’s wand. She wasn’t that thick. How could she just blame the whole thing on me? I was only a quarter of it all.

“Me?� I asked, outraged. “How do you figure it was me?�

“Who else would it be?� What was wrong with this girl? She was clearly a lunatic.

“All of us!� I exclaimed, turning around. There was no one there. Drat. While I was watching Evans mend the cuts, they must have gone up to the dorm and I didn’t notice or follow. Sirius tapped my shoulder, but I didn’t pay any attention. Why didn’t I turn around?

“They were here!�

Evans smirked. It was like she knew I was partially innocent, but liked putting the blame on me. How I hated her!

“Right, Potter. I’ll be reporting you to Professor McGonagall.� Her eyes were testy.

“Go ahead,� I replied coolly. I wanted her to report me, so that I wouldn’t have to listen to her. Wrong again…

“You know, Potter, I’m really sick of your immature pranks, attention-seeking stunts and your night time meandering. Your comments in class and arrogant Quidditch antics are getting incredibly old and unnecessary. You act like a child and I would really like for you to try to refrain, as hard as it may be. There is no one in the school who likes attention as much as you do. It doesn’t impress anyone; you may be shocked to hear. You just look like an idiot. No one finds you charming or whatever you aim for, so try a new approach.�

I don’t know if she rehearsed the speech or what, but it made me angry. I felt like boiling water in a cauldron. I couldn’t contain it. It wasn’t even me! What was she talking about? Everyone seemed to like me. I never heard anyone say they thought of me as idiotic. And I was no worse than Sirius! I liked to joke and did show off a little bit, but was more contained with Norah. Why did Lily Evans have some personal grudge against me?

It was the look in her eyes that drove me nuts, like she was proving something by saying those words. I clenched my fist in anger.

“Who the hell are you to tell me how to live my life? You’re not my goddamn keeper! I don’t need someone like you telling me what to do.� I yelled. How could I keep from yelling? Lily Evans was impossible. What did I do to her? Who did she think she was? “You’ve never even laughed a day in your life. You call me conceited and arrogant, yet you think that because you’re a prefect you can tell everyone around you how to live their lives.�

She wasn’t affected by my angry screaming. Although, her eyes did look glossy. Maybe she was about to cry; I didn’t care. She just turned around and strode to her dorm. I moodily stalked to mine as well. I didn’t know why she always singled me out and seemed to hate me. I didn’t care. I never wanted to see her again. I didn’t ever want to hear her voice again

I was at the end of telling Remus, Peter and Sirius what happened when Norah came into the room.

“I heard what happened,� she said, coming to sit down next to me. I nodded. I figured she would have.

“Wasn’t Evans out of line?� I asked, still angry. Norah just shrugged and then sighed.

“I dunno, James. I mean, she was, but you should give her some slack. I know she hasn’t been nice to you, but she’s going through a rough time, and seems to take it out on you unintentionally.� I really didn’t feel differently. I didn’t care what Lily Evans was going through, not until later that night, anyway.

Norah touched my hand gently and I put my arm around her. One thing that I’ll never forget about Norah was the way she smelled. It was fresh, as if she had just gotten out of the shower. I loved that smell.

I tilted my head inward, so I was closer to her hair and took a breath. I didn’t think I could be happier with anyone else.

I closed the curtains around my bed, not wanting to talk to the other Marauders. I wasn’t angry with them. It wasn’t their fault that I didn’t realise Evans would be coming over to yell and didn’t flee with them. I had the opportunity.

No, it was Evans I was furious with. She thought that she was the queen of the world and everyone would succumb to her. I wouldn’t succumb to her though. I would never succumb to the likes of Lily Evans.

Padfoot, Moony and Wormtail must have heard our shouts because they didn’t bother me. They must have known how irate I was. And around eleven, I could hear their snores. But sleep didn’t come to me so easily. I was too outraged.

At around twelve, after two and a half hours of lying in bed, I rose. It wasn’t the anger that was keeping me awake so much. I got over things quickly. I was just restless. It was a strange feeling in my stomach when I pictured Lily Evans in my mind; it wasn’t just rage. It was confusion; I just didn’t understand the girl. Norah, on the other hand, was easy to understand. She was straightforward, affable, and fun to be around. I mean, I had heard Lily Evans was all of those things, but I had never personally experienced it.

I draped my invisibility cloak over myself and put on my trainers with a bit of difficulty. I was just going to go for a walk around the castle or the lake. I loved winter.

I felt my way through the darkness and out of the dorm. I have to say, it felt nice to stretch my legs after two hours of being confined to bed.

The common room was quiet. There were only four people still there. Lily Evans and Aletta, who was apparently out of the Hospital Wing, were sitting on a couch. Another person was at a table finishing homework, while another was passed out in a chair.

I turned my attention to Evans and her friend. She was wearing plaid pyjama pants and a sweatshirt. Her red hair was pulled back into a messy bun and she had glasses on. I didn’t know Lily Evans wore glasses at night, or whenever she wore them. Had I just never noticed or had she never worn them?

I’ve always had a strange interest in glasses. I’ve had them for as long as I can remember; some days I think I came out of the womb with them on. So seeing Evans in them had been odd. Her glasses were stylish with thick, navy frames that were square-shaped. If it had not been Lily Evans, I would have thought she looked cute.

I found myself wondering if Evans was mean to her friends. Probably not, but you never know. Sometimes fear can be a means of friendship.

It was at that point did it hit me hard that I knew nothing of her. In a way, she was a mystery. Aside from her cruel exterior and smug manner, was she anything else? What was Evans’ family like? What did she like to do? Could there be more to her? A different side, possibly?

So I took a seat. It was close enough to hear their conversation, but far enough so I wasn’t breathing down their necks.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself,� Aletta said comfortingly.

Evans was biting her lip, like it was helping her fight back tears. “He was right though! I’m terrible. I don’t mean to seem so angry and bitter. It’s just,� her lip quivered, “it’s getting worse,� she whispered, tears falling from her eyes. “And he reminds me so much of him.�

I watched curiously. What was getting worse? Who reminds her and of what? Aletta must have known, because she was consoling a sobbing Lily Evans.

“Every letter,� she said between sobs. Aletta’s shoulder was now wet with salty tears. “I don’t know what to do.�

Aletta didn’t say anything for a moment. “It’ll get better,� she finally said firmly. Lily nodded like a small child. She almost looked like one. Her green eyes were large and innocent; they were lost and unsure.

It was a side of Lily Evans I had never seen. She was helpless. Lily Evans was vulnerable and that wasn’t her. I never thought that there was something that could be wrong at her home. I have to say, the idea of a different Lily Evans intrigued me. I had been so quick to judge her; I didn’t consider possibilities other than she was a hotheaded fiend.

I felt sorry for Lily. Something was really eating away at her. I just didn’t know what it was.

She stared into the dying flames of the fire for a long time. And I stared at her. Her face was pale and her eyes tired. The rest of my anger toward her faded. How could I still be angry with her? Maybe I had deserved what she said; it was probably all true anyway.

After about twenty minutes, Aletta headed to bed, but Lily did not.

She just looked into the fire, silent tears trickling down her face every so often. I felt awful, even if the problem was probably something stupid, like her Muggle boyfriend was going to dump her.

It was a new feeling for me. I had never felt pity for Lily Evans. She was usually so together, so cool and collected that there was no reason to feel sorry for her. But then again, I never really felt pity for anyone. Compassion wasn’t something I had yet.

I didn’t find compassion that night, but I did learn something. I learned that, most of the time, you never really know a person. I mean, I thought I had known Lily for five years, but I didn’t know a thing about her. Whatever is on the surface can be an illusion. Lily Evans did have a cover up.

*

The next morning, I went to breakfast on time. I don’t know why, I just couldn’t sleep. So I sat with Remus and Peter, who were usually up a bit earlier than Sirius and me. Actually, Sirius was probably just waking up.

I remembered Lily Evans from the previous night perfectly and was slightly fascinated. I forgot all about our row. Well, that was until I noticed Lily Evans sitting across from me.

“Potter,� she said curtly. I came back to the world from space and looked at her. She let out a sigh. “I’m sorry,� she said honestly, with a softer tone.

“What?� I asked blankly. After I saw the other side of her, her apology didn’t surprise me too much, but it certainly was still unexpected. Lily Evans apologizing to James Potter? It wasn’t something I was accustomed to.

“I wanted to apologize. What I said was a bit out of line, although not completely untrue.�

I studied her face for a moment. She had perfect skin, with the exception of a few light freckles on her nose and a nice mouth. A nice mouth? What was I thinking? Lily Evans didn’t have a nice mouth!

My eyes reached her own. They seemed sorry but still proud.

“Man, Evans, you really know how to give a great apology,� I said sarcastically. I hadn’t completely forgiven her. “I’m really sorry. But all of those awful things I said to you, well, they weren’t so untrue,� I said, in a voice not unlike her own. Lily smiled and let out a laugh.

“Sorry,� she said truthfully. “I’m not the best at this. I don’t often apologize, and those things just came out.� I gave a nod and grinned.

Maybe Lily wasn’t so bad.

“I’m sorry too.� She looked at me for a moment, the same way I had looked at her. It was the look of seeing someone for the first time.

She gave a nod. “Accepted,� she said brightly. “See you, I suppose.� And she was gone. She baffled me. But I didn’t have time to ponder it, for Norah came up behind me and kissed my cheek.

“Hi, baby,� she said happily.

“Hi,� I answered, quite cheery myself.

“How are you this morning?� she asked with a smile, taking a seat next to me. Norah had a beautiful smile. I always loved it. I always loved Norah.

“Better now,� I responded, putting my arm around her shoulder and giving her a quick kiss. She grinned happily.

“I heard what happened in the common room last night,� she stated, taking some food.

“Yeah,� I replied. “It’s okay though. Lily Evans and I are fine. We both apologized,� I said affirmatively. Norah beamed, a wide smile on her face.

“Good!� she cried. I tilted my head inquiringly. “I mean – it’s a relief. Lily is my friend and you hating her really put a damper on our relationship.�

I knew Lily and Norah were somewhat friends. They shared a dorm, and I assumed that it had been more difficult since Lily and I didn’t get along. I never really knew that Norah was hoping we would make amends because it was that big of a deal though. Maybe I would make more of an effort in the future for Norah. I felt as though it would be easier to be friendly with Lily now. Well, maybe not friendly. James Potter and Lily Evans would never be friends. But I could try harder, though only if Lily Evans did too …

“She hates me too,� I said as an afterthought, not sure if it was ‘hated’ or ‘hates’.

“She never hated you, James,� Norah answered, seeming very chipper.

I didn’t know if I believed that one…

Chapter Six – The Fire Inside
kask

For a while, I kept an eye on Lily. If she were awake when Padfoot, Moony, and Wormtail went to bed, I would sneak down to see what she was up to. I really enjoyed seeing her when she, well, couldn’t see me. She was so easygoing, although kind of strange, when she was alone. She would just start laughing or smiling while doing homework. Really, I didn’t know why she would laugh. The homework couldn’t have been funny.

Other times she would sing badly to herself under her breath. It must have been Muggle music, because I never knew the song. It was nice, though, and my grin was always from ear to ear.

One night, when no one was in the common room, Lily just sat there for hours, writing. I suspected it wasn’t homework, because I had many classes with her, and it didn’t take me that long. It could have been that she was a slow worker, but I didn’t think that was the case. I finally concluded that she was writing multiple letters or one very long one.

She just sat there for about three hours, writing. I didn’t know how she did it, but she did. My hand would have been cramped after forty-five minutes…

Lily was still writing when she slowly started to move her head from side to side, humming and snapping her fingers. Every second, she got more into the song and beat. Her hips began to sway and her whole body danced in her seat. She did this for about a minute, until she brought the quill to her mouth and broke out into song.

**“I've got sunshine
On a cloudy day.
When it's cold outside,
I've got the month of May,� she wailed loudly, smiling and still snapping her fingers.

“Well, I guess you'll say
What can make me feel this way?
My girl. (My girl, my girl)
Talkin' 'bout my girl. (My girl).�

She was both the lead and backup singers, and it was quite hilarious. Lily Evans? A closet singer? I couldn’t even believe it. She was quite bad, but it looked like she was having so much fun that I wanted to join in on the chorus; the song was quite catchy. Even later, I found myself singing it under my breath.

I quite liked the carefree, singing Lily Evans. It fit her. She was so energetic and lively, and for the first time, I saw what the other guys saw. I saw a quirky girl with strange, yet charming habits. I found it cute the way she seemed to share jokes with herself and sung at any chance. Even the way she talked to herself. When I say she talked to herself, I mean full-fledged conversations. She would ask herself questions, answer them, ponder ideas and discuss life within her own head…only out loud.

It wasn’t annoying or that she just liked to listen to her own voice. I think she did it because she got lonely. If I were to sit in quiet for hours, I would probably talk aloud too. It’s not like she thought there was anyone there to hear her.

There was something about her that I found different. She was real. That was the only word I could think of. I couldn’t call her weird, because we’re all a little weird when we’re alone.

I couldn’t see Norah singing or being loose. Norah was cultivated. I couldn’t say that Lily wasn’t. I watched Lily when she was by herself; I got a glimpse of a different her – something no one else really got. The way she acted was completely different from when she was in public.

But I just didn’t think Norah would do things like that when she was alone. She had had an image drilled into her since birth. It didn’t go away without the presence of people. It was who she was. She was brought up a certain way. Maybe I had been too, but I had lost it along the way. The way my father had attempted to raise me was fruitless. I didn’t end up the way he wanted me to.

Some days I wished I were different. I wish everything was different. It was difficult not to want the affection of your father. At the end of the day, he and mother were all I had. Of course I had Sirius, Remus, and Peter; they were important to me – more than most things, actually. But they weren’t my parents.

But I also knew that I couldn’t change the past. How could I go back and redo the last fifteen years to the approval of my father? There was no way, and even if there was, I wasn’t sure I wanted to. I liked who I was. On top of that, my father probably wouldn’t have been happy even if I had been the person he wanted me to be.

*

I had to stifle my amusement throughout the whole rendition. But when she finished the song and broke out into laughter, I let out a few chuckles, hoping she couldn’t hear them.

I was quite wrong. She stopped in her tracks and looked around the room suspiciously. I didn’t know what to do. Should I sneak back upstairs, hoping she doesn’t hear me? Or should I just stay and hope she doesn’t catch me? I didn’t have much time to decide, and before I knew it, I couldn’t do either. She was about a foot away from me. So I clapped my hand over my mouth, to minimize the sound of my breathing, and waited.

My heart beat rapidly in my chest. She was inching ever closer.

“Is someone there?� she called. “If someone is there, you better come out!�

She walked around the room, peering under the couches and behind every chair. She looked in every nook and corner, even up the fireplace. Finally, she came back to the very place I was sitting. She was looking right into my face, and her hand was moving…

I felt her hand lightly touch my leg, and I panicked. I did the only thing I could think of doing – played dead. Well, not dead exactly. I feigned sleep. My head tilted backward and my eyes closed strategically.

“What is that?� I heard her mutter, feeling around my leg. It tickled, and I had to stifle a chuckle. After a minute of feeling around me perplexed, she grabbed hold of my cloak and pulled it off.

I really can’t imagine what was going through her mind as her eyes fell on my “sleeping� form. It would have been quite hilarious, if I weren’t in the middle of the situation, of course.

“What are you –? What is this?� she asked, confused. Still, I continued to sleep, not a bad plan in for the moment.

She shook me repeatedly when I still didn’t stir. After the second brutal push, I moved around, stretching my arms, eyes still closed.

“Potter!�

One eye opened. “What is it?� I groaned. The morning voice was perfect -- it couldn’t have been better if it were real. It never hit me that I would be an amazing actor until that incident. I did have it all – the looks, the charm, the personality, the obvious talent. I mean, anyway you want to put it, I’m a likable fellow. And the camera loves me.

“What are you doing?� I opened the other eye and blinked, rubbing them and looking around.

“I was sleeping.� My voice was still coarse. I ran a stand through my hair and continue to act like I had just woken up and everything was processing.

“Okay… But I need some more explaining than that. What’s this?�

I squinted at my cloak. “Oh, just my cloak. I covered myself in it and made us both invisible.� I wanted to cringe at the obvious holes in the story. Why would Lily pulling it off suddenly make the spell disappear? She would definitely notice that it didn’t make sense.

She looked at me suspiciously, but seemingly decided to overlook the problems with my story. “Why did you need to be invisible?� she asked coolly.

“Well, don’t get mad.� She just continued to look at me, arms folded across her chest, telling me to keep going. “Promise!�

“Fine, I won’t get mad,� Lily replied grudgingly.

“Okay, good. You see, we were planning a prank, and it was my job to hide out in the common room and look for a target. The person we were going to do this to had to meet a very specific criteria, and I had to scope her out.�

“It had to be a girl?� she interrupted expectedly, eyebrows raised.

“Er,� I hadn’t thought about that. I was just talking as I went, no idea what was going to come next. “Yes, it was preferable.� It didn’t seem like she was buying my story…

“Carry on.�

“Oh yeah, so I must’ve fallen asleep, and here we are.�

“And your friends didn’t try to wake you?�

“Nah, they’d think it was funny.�

“They sound like really good friends. But tell me, what was this prank you were planning? I’m dying to hear.�

She really was trying to get me into a corner, and was almost succeeding.

“Promise not to get mad?� I was trying to buy more time. She nodded, somewhat sarcastically. “Well, okay, so we were, uh,� I paused, until an idea rocketed into my mind. “We were looking for a girl to go out with Snape!� That was quick thinking. “You see, we wanted to make him feel good, you know, think that someone could actually like him, and then we were going to have the girl dump him.� It was a brilliant plan, why hadn’t I thought of it earlier? In fact, I was kind of disappointed I told Lily, for it was so good.

“I don’t think your plan is going to work.�

“Why not?� I retorted automatically, racking my brain for any faults.

“Because Severus already has a girlfriend.�

“Who?� I challenged, unable to stop the corners of my mouth from turning upward. The idea was too funny. She was probably a real monster, maybe Zoya Tetzel; I wouldn’t have been caught with her for all the money in the world. She was too ugly to look at, perfect for Snape.

“Me,� was all Lily said, completely serious. “And if this is just a cloak, I think I’ll keep it for a while. I could use another for winter.�

With that, whether she bought my story or not, Lily Evans walked to her dorm, leaving me speechless. Was she really Severus Snape’s girlfriend?

That was when it hit me. I was getting in too deep. Now Severus Snape was tied into my weird attraction to Lily Evans. Norah Kelley was dating James Potter, who liked Lily Evans, who was dating Severus Snape. It was just becoming too tangled. Norah. I had Norah. What was I doing? I was creeping around at night, losing sleep, to watch Lily Evans write letters and sing songs. I was getting caught spying on Lily and making up stories as to why. I was watching the place Lily once stood, wondering if Snape really called Lily his own. Did he kiss her and touch her? Was Snape the one Lily called her boyfriend? Why did the very idea irk me so much? Why did I want to punch a wall and kill Snape? My skin crawled at the thought of Lily’s lovely green eyes falling upon Snape with affection and her letter-writing hands enclosed in his. I didn’t know who I was anymore. But whomever it was needed to stop. I couldn’t continue going on that way, sneaking around and spying on girls. I couldn’t care that Lily was with Snape, however disgusting it was. I was in love. Norah, remember?

*

November slowly rolled into December. I loved December. I loved the spirits of Christmas – the decorations, the happiness, the gift giving. Christmas brought out the best in everybody, including me. I couldn’t wait to buy Norah’s present, and even my friends’ presents. I always loved giving gifts and knowing the person was going to love it.

Although November was winter for me, it was still a transitional phase. December wasn’t though, and I loved it. I loved the cold weather on my face, the rosiness of my cheeks, the blur in my sight when snowflakes got caught in my eyelashes.

The prospect of a holiday was also a cheerful one. I couldn’t wait to get home, to sleep in my own bed, and to see my mum. I never really realised how much I missed all that stuff until I had to leave it again. I loved Hogwarts, I really did; it was like my home. But when it came down to it, my home was my home. It’s where everything was, and I loved it there.

The idea of being taken care of by my mum and Winnie, our house elf, was the best in the world. I couldn’t wait to return to the cooking I had grown up on, since Winnie practically raised me since birth. My mum was always around though; it was my father who wasn’t.

The day after Christmas, Sirius was coming to spend the rest of the holiday with my family and me. We always had a blast. Sometimes it got boring at my house; there wasn’t another person under the age of forty in the surrounding kilometer radius. But not with Padfoot there. We always found something to do.

The other Marauders would pop in occasionally too. My mum always welcomed them with open arms; she knew how important my friends were to me, and loved them like sons.

*

I surveyed Evans when I had a chance, but never intentionally watched her again. It was too strange, watching her, I mean. And I didn’t want to complicate things with Norah. My eyes would wander towards her every now and again, but it dwindled as time went on. Sometimes I would glance over at her during breakfast, to see if she got any letters bringing bad news. I couldn’t help but remember the night she cried. It was still vivid in my mind. But if Lily did get any bad news, she didn’t show it.

Honestly though, my desire to watch Lily plummeted; instead, my hatred for Snape increased. Observing Lily was originally so I could find a way to get her to like me, and then dump her. But that wasn’t the case anymore. I didn’t hate her much, and I didn’t really want revenge for what she had done. It had been a while ago and it just wasn’t as important.

The main reason was still Norah. I didn’t care about making Lily like me. There was no way the plan could even work anyway. The only reason I had wanted to do it had been because I was angry. That wasn’t the case anymore. I was with Norah. I was happy, and I didn’t linger on my hatred for Lily. It seemed childish.

I just didn’t care anymore. I didn’t want to care anymore. I just wanted the whole thing to be over. All of the incidents, all of the anger, they were all in the past. That’s where I would keep them. I wouldn’t do anything to risk what I had with Norah. I felt alive around Norah.

Even if I did feel happy around Lily, I didn’t want to ruin what I had with Norah. I guess it was different. With Norah, I felt romantic and what you feel like when you’re in love. With Lily, I was exhilarated, like I couldn’t catch my breath. My heart raced when she looked at me, and I grinned when she spoke. It was actually kind of uncomfortable and I didn’t really like it. I mean, why would a person want to feel like that? Like their insides were hanging upside down. It wasn’t pleasant.

I looked for any sign that Lily was really with Snape, and I got a few. She looked at him with glowing eyes, brushed past him in Potions, and always made a point to chat with him. I never heard his response, but it drove me up the wall. I was so angry whenever I saw them in the same room, my fist curled up and my teeth gritted. I repeated ‘Norah’ over and over in my mind, but that didn’t work. I was still fuming hours later.

Building Bridges

Mid-December brought a certain cold to the castle, making me shiver as I walked around. All was quiet, even though it was only a quarter past six. I had finished my homework, and had a rare night off. I probably should have been studying or something, but took to meandering the castle instead. I did that often, not really in pursuit of anything, but just to clear my mind.

Sirius was flirting with a girl in the common room, (he often claimed that he didn’t like her, but I never believed it) Peter was doing homework, and Remus was off in the library. I didn’t feel like hanging out with any of them, anyway. Norah was busy too, something about a girls’ night. So I was off.

Lately, everything had been calm, and for the first time, I liked it. Usually, I felt like a restless soul, to put it poetically, always needing to stir things up when they got too quiet. But I didn’t feel like that, and I was glad for it. For the first time in quite a while, things were simple. I was staying out of trouble, hoping to make Christmas with my father more bearable. I had friends, a girlfriend, looks, charm, and went to Hogwarts, one of the best wizarding school in the world. Yes, things were easy. I hardly ever thought of Lily Evans and her relationship with bloody Snape. Well, that may depend on one’s definition of ‘hardly ever’. It wasn’t interfering with my relationship with Norah, so every once in a while, I would let my mind wander to her, deciding that I deserved it.

“Are you okay?� I heard a voice echo through the halls. I didn’t really expect to run into anyone since it had been so silent. The voice seemed harsh against the once-present serenity, and I didn’t like it. Curiously, I turned around the corner to see who it was.

“If he does anything to you again, just tell me.� It was Lily Evans speaking to a small Muggle-born Slytherin. I only knew her because being Muggle-born and in the Slytherin house left her quite a target.

The first-year nodded, looking still quite afraid. Evans’ eyes were soft as she kneeled down in front of the little girl, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Are you sure you’re okay? Avery is foul.� She smiled at the girl kindly, but there was malice in her eyes. I understood why. Whatever differences Lily and I had, we both didn’t like the Dark Arts. Whoever she was a friend of or dating, I knew she really didn’t approve of the Slytherin group that were sure to be Death Eaters in the future.

“Ara,� Lily asked suddenly, her eyebrows knitting together. “Was Avery alone?�

The Slytherin girl, who was apparently called Ara, slowly shook her head. I saw anger rise up in Lily’s eyes, as if something was clicking.

“Who else was there?� Lily looked furious.

Ara shook her head, tears filling her eyes. I wasn’t sure if they were from reliving the experience or something different.

“He-he told me not to tell.� Her voice quivered with fright.

“He won’t do anything to you, I’ll make sure of it, but you need to tell me. Was Severus Snape there?�

Still looking afraid, Ara slowly nodded. I could see why she would be afraid. Snape was frightening. There was this look that clouded his face, an evil look. Something in his eyes that let you know he would do anything cruel if he promised it. I admit, I was not very kind, but never heartless. Never like that.

Lily looked furious, seething. “I can’t believe him! The foul git.� Her breathing was rigid with rage.

“He-he called me a-a Mudblood.� Ara sniffled. “Said that I made Slytherin house look bad.�

It looked as if in her anger, Lily had forgotten the girl was there, but suddenly remembered and looked down at her.

“Don’t worry. He’ll pay.�

Ara looked confused at Lily’s statement. Why was she so mad that Snape was there? More so than Avery… Didn’t she know that they were the same? Neither cared; they were always willing to pick on anyone they didn’t think good enough.

“He’s my friend… Severus,� she choked, “is my friend… I hate his friends, Avery and them, they are the worst people in the school, but Severus has been my best friend for a long time. I – he promised.�

“In the school?� Ara asked timidly. Lily didn’t answer, but was lost in her own thoughts. As was I. Snape was her best friend. Someone like Lily – someone so lovely – couldn’t be a friend of someone like Snape.

I mean, I knew that they were friends in first year, but thought after she had made friends with other Gryffindors like Aletta and Mary, it fizzled. I never noticed them together. Then again, I didn’t notice Lily or who she was around much.

“Huh?� Lily questioned at Ara’s remark.

“In the school…you hate them the most?�

“Oh! You mean Mr Quidditch.� She let out a little laugh, obviously recovering from the blow of Snape’s betrayal. Mr Quidditch, who the heck was that? I assumed that it wasn’t someone’s last name, just a person who played Quidditch. After all, I’d have known if someone’s last name was Quidditch. Unless I missed this person, just as I had missed Lily and Snape’s friendship. But I doubted that. It was pretty hard to miss someone with the last name ‘Quidditch’, which was practically my life.

“I really don’t hate him,� Lily said with a wink. “It’s just easier for him to think I do. He’s arrogant enough without me fawning over him. Every now and again, he needs a dose of reality.�

Lily smiled mischievously. Could Mr Quidditch be me? Was it possible that Lily Evans didn’t really hate me as much as it seemed?

“I think I know what you mean,� Ara said, nodding her head in comprehension.

“Most girls would,� Lily stated, looking much more serene.

The little girl grinned, and ran off with a smile and a promise to talk again. Lily smiled after her, looking genuinely content at the outcome, even if she was furious with Snape.

I wasn’t a girl, so I obviously didn’t know what she was talking about. But I was rather pleased that she didn’t hate me, if that was me she was speaking of. And, she wasn’t dating Snape! She couldn’t have been… Of course, the idea of them being friends was disturbing, but much better than little Snapes running around.

Thinking of children with Lily’s head on Snape’s body, although quite unsettling, was very comical. I had to suppress a laugh as I made plans to get a picture of both of them and do a little cut-and-paste job.

Even though it would make a good laugh, the idea of Lily and Snape together seemed to irritate me the more I thought about it. Them getting married, or even dating, made me shake with anger. Lily was much too – everything – for Snape. Their child would probably look like Snape. Ugly. I couldn’t help but think that I would kill someone before seeing an offspring of Lily and Snape. It would be good at Potions though…

Wanting to rid any picture of Lily and Snape from my mind, I cleared my throat to let my presence be known. Evans turned around and looked at me. It was unexpected. I had cleared my throat, but didn’t think I’d be face-to-face with her so soon. I found myself gaping for words.

“Er – that was really nice of you,� I said awkwardly, walking on air. They weren’t dating! I could sing. “Especially her being a Slytherin.�

She nodded, but her eyes narrowed at my last statement. “She’s a nice girl. All Slytherins aren’t bad, you know, and you shouldn’t hate someone just because a hat put them there,� she said coldly.

“I didn’t mean – �

“It’s ironic how people around here stereotype, especially when witches and wizards are stereotyped in the Muggle world. She gets picked on a lot, you know, and no one deserves that.� I could feel her eyes heavy on me, as if she were trying to send a message to me. I knew that she was referring to me as well…me picking on others. “I’ll speak to Severus.� Her voice was no longer kind, but harsh and angry.

I really never thought about the Slytherin stereotype before that day, but the spite in her voice was enough to make me. It was just something I did. When the word Slytherin dropped from a person’s mouth, it was an automatic red flag. I just never thought that it could be completely wrong. I didn’t realise that I judged people on behalf of their house.

Then again, a lot of Slytherins were horrible. I ticked off a bunch of them in my mind, and a great deal of them did fit the stereotype. Even if it wasn’t all of them, it was enough…

“What are you going to say to Snape?� I asked, interested, hoping she would forget my other comment. I really didn’t need another fight.

She shrugged, looking into my eyes now. That was one of the first times she ever looked directly into my eyes without being angry. I almost liked it. They were two very pretty eyes. “I dunno,� she replied after a moment. “He’ll listen to me though. I’ll make him.� I could see why he would. Lily Evans was very intimidating when angry.

“Not going to threaten or throw a few hexes, are we, Evans? Or maybe you’d prefer to just whisper sweet nothings in his ear. Or maybe stop him by keeping him occupied, if you catch my drift.� I grinned at her suggestively, wanting to laugh at my joke. I was quite clever.

“That’s actually a good idea. He loves it when I keep him occupied,� she answered, just as suggestively as I had, and began walking in the direction that would take her to the library. “As for hexes, I guess we’ll see…� she continued mysteriously. I took that as a yes.

I always knew she was a hypocrite.

That’s when I realised there was no way I could ever win against her. She lied to me about dating Snape, I found out and made a joke about it, wanting her to be sickened by the thought, but instead, she just kept going with it, not even caring. I figured that I couldn’t ever win, and there was no way I was going to lose, so I’d just have to embrace it. I’d have to accept that we were equal.

I ran, catching up with her in about a second. She didn’t glance over at me, but kept walking. “So Evans, who is the bloke you pretend to hate? Mr Quidditch? And why would you do that?�

“Eavesdropping, Potter?� she asked, glancing sideways at me. She didn’t look angry, and a smile played on her lips – good.

“Pretty much, but I prefer to call it ‘overhearing’. Anyway, why would you do that to someone?� There was a pause; only the sound of our feet reverberating through the corridor was heard.

“Oh, it’s just easier that way,� she said simply.

“Oh.� I really didn’t understand what she was talking about. I always knew she was weird. “So, who is it?� I knew she probably wouldn’t tell me.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?� I really did want to know, but there was no way she would spill. Maybe it was me…

We walked in silence for a few more minutes. I was racking my brain trying to decipher whom she was speaking of. Who else was a Quidditch star and a little egotistical? Come to think of it, there were actually a few.

“You know, what you said before was kinda right,� I said. It had just hit me, well partially, and I had said my thoughts aloud. I could see where she was coming from, and I knew that she must have been discriminated against for being Muggle-born. But, who was doing the discriminating? Slytherins. Lily Evans turned, looking at me curiously. I think she heard the sincerity in my voice. “I’ve always hated people who judge based on blood-purity, but I guess I do it with houses.�

Evans looked at me, almost surprised. “I guess we all do. There will always be connotations, I suppose. It’s just hard. Take Gryffindor for example. I love Gryffindor, I really do. I’m proud to be in it, and proud to wear scarlet and gold. But, at the same time, that sets us apart. Not just Gryffindor, but all the houses. We have so much house pride; it’s always Gryffindor this and Gryffindor that, and Gryffindor for the cup! But I think we all forget to have school pride. Beyond the houses, we should be proud to represent Hogwarts as a whole. After Hogwarts, what will it really matter?�

She was completely right, and I knew it, but changing your outlook was harder than it seemed…

“I guess I never thought about it that way,� I mused, knowing that I’d never think of Snape as a nice person or anything more than a Slytherin jerk. “But, out of Hogwarts, when all the Slytherins are Death Eaters, it will make a difference.�

I expected her to fight with me, give me a countless number of examples proving her point, spew names and fact. I expected her to argue and debate.

But she didn’t.

Lily just rolled her eyes, a small smile on her face. I think she knew that I’d never change. But I could tell from her eyes that she was determined to make me.

“Gryffindor to the end,� she mumbled. And maybe, just maybe, she expected me to say exactly what I did. Maybe she knew me better than I thought…

“Well, I’m off. See you.� And she left, headed for the doors of the library.

At least she was a bit more polite this meeting, well, we both were. It was a start. I just stood there for a moment, watching her walk into the library, red hair swinging behind her –

“WAIT!� I suddenly called out, surprising even myself, and running over.

She swung around, interest on her face. “What is it?�

“I-I dunno. I mean, well, what are you doing?� I said rather quickly, unsure of what to say. Her eyes were so critical; it was hard to think. It was as though whatever I said had to be great, which it wasn’t.

“When?� she asked, smiling at the spontaneity of the situation.

I ran a hand through my hair, every cell in my body alive. “Er.� A grin spread across my face. “Now.�

Lily looked apprehensive. “I wouldn’t…I mean…Norah. And I have some studying to do.� She looked almost sorry when she said it, and her eyes dropped from mine.

“Oh…yeah.� I had never felt anything like that before – sheer, crushing disappointment. It felt like I almost had it all, like it was so close, but I just couldn’t reach it. For the first time in my life, there was a roadblock keeping me from something that I illogically wanted. And that scared me a little bit, because I knew, somewhere, that every plan I ever had was falling apart, and something inside was changing. “We could just talk,� I suggested hopefully.

“Talk – yeah,� she said very quickly. After a moment, she finished sadly. “No, I don’t think that’s a good idea. Just because, you know,� she smiled, “I have Severus and all…�

In spite of my disappointment, I chuckled. “Maybe another time?�

Lily looked torn, but finally nodded slowly. “Under different circumstances?�

“Of course!� I provided rapidly. “I’ll see you, then?� I nodded eagerly, surprised at how different our interactions had come to be. She turned to walk away.

“Hey, Lily?�

“You really don’t want me to go into that library, huh?�

“Nah, it’s just, friends?� I put out my hand. She smiled wholeheartedly, and shook my hand. This time, there was no fake apology, no pretending to be friendly for Norah or my pride. It was an honest desire to know her, and I think it was the same for her.

“See you around, Potter.�

“Too right you are, Evans.�

This time she made it into the library, but I didn’t move. I just watched where she had stood, thinking about things that I shouldn’t have been thinking of. I could smell her scent, which still lingered in the air, and a funny grin spread across my face. Her having been so close, so friendly, I couldn’t help but wonder what it’d be like to be able to flirt and talk to her freely, to try to catch her attention like so many other boys. I couldn’t place my finger on it, but there was something about her. She was so nice to the little Slytherin girl, so wise, so pretty…

There was a dull ache in my chest as I walked back to the common room, back to Norah, and my life…back to reality, for being with Lily was just a dream.

*

I saw Evans the next day in the common room. It was odd, actually. I was sitting next to Norah on the couch. My arm was around her, and her head was resting on my shoulder. I was feeling very bad, because Lily had been on my mind since our meeting the previous day.

“Are you okay?� I asked softly, my lips almost touching her cheek. She had had a terrible day, and said she just wanted to be with me. So I pulled her close, and just sat with her, part of me trying to make up for wanting so terribly to spend time with Lily.

I found it strange how when Norah had a bad day, she wanted nothing more than to sit with me. I guess that made her feel better, and I was glad to do it. But, on the other hand, when something went wrong for me, I wanted to be alone. She was the last person I wanted to see. I knew that she would ask me what happened, and try to comfort me; I didn’t always want that.

Norah nodded, and closed her eyes. I brushed her hair back with a hand, and stroked her temple and head tenderly. “I love you,� she whispered, eyes still closed.

My heart swelled guiltily. I loved it when Norah told me that. “I love you, too,� I replied affectionately, hoping it was the truth. She smiled.

As she dozed lightly on my shoulder, I glanced around the common room. That’s when I made eye contact with Lily Evans. She was looking at Norah and me. It wasn’t like she was staring; she was just looking in our direction, eyes squinting, lost in thought. In fact, I didn’t really know what she was looking at. She seemed to be drifting into space.

Well, until our eyes met. I can’t describe how I felt exactly, but it was terrible. Norah was resting on me, yet it was Evans’ who had my attention. We looked at each other, eyes locked, for about a minute but then she broke it and turned back to her own friends.

For the rest of the time, I just watched her work. Being with the girl you love, having her sit right next to you, so close that you can feel her heartbeat, and thinking about another is the worst feeling ever. That’s what it was like. My mind was completely engrossed with Lily, and I felt bad.

I was just about the luckiest guy in the world, to call Norah my own. She wasn’t the girl that people noticed in crowds. But she was to me. I mean, no one could say that she wasn’t pretty; it just wasn’t as striking as Lily’s beauty. I guess I saw it most because I loved her. She had always been important to me, so I had always seen her as the most beautiful.

Lily’s looks were immediately noticeable. She had stunning green eyes and red hair, two features that weren’t seen too often. There was something appealing about Lily. I had never noticed it until then, but she had something that made you want to be around her. I just couldn’t grasp exactly what it was.

But when Norah stirred, I kissed her on the lips. I wanted to remember why I loved her. And I did. She put her soft hand on my neck, and I knew that whatever I had seen in Lily a few moments ago, and the last few days, was gone. I remembered that Norah was the only girl in my life, and I shouldn’t want it any other way. It was just a shame that what I should have wanted and what I did want were two different stories.

After a few moments, Norah smiled and told me that she had some Potions homework to finish up. I nodded and watched her walk away, before falling back on the couch. I couldn’t help but think that I was getting in a little too deep.

Across the room, Lily was talking to a sixth-year who I didn’t know too well. The girl said something, causing Lily to glance in my direction, and then laugh loudly. When she looked at me, my stomach did a somersault. It never did that…

Chapter Eight – Rain King

I belong in the service of the queen.
I belong anywhere but in between.
She’s been crying; I’ve been thinking.
And I am the rain king.
--Counting Crows, Rain King


“Prongs! JAMES!� There was a dull roar of commotion around me – the light blinding my eyes, Sirius scrambling for his books, Remus drying his wet hair.

“What – � I began groggily.

“We’re late! Care of Magical – seven minutes!� There was an air of urgency in Sirius’ voice as he sniffed a shirt, shrugged, and pulled it over his head. I laughed to myself, knowing that if Sirius was late, it’d be his third strike and he’d get a detention. Usually this wouldn’t faze any of us, but Sirius really hated Care of Magical Creature detentions. He figured that the bites and scratches, burns and fatigue were not worth being late the third time. In five years, Kettleburn was the only teacher to instill that in Sirius.

“Damn,� I swore under my breath, climbing out of bed. There was no way I’d make it. “I’m just gonna skip… tell Kettleburn that I’m sick and tell Norah that I’ll see her later.�

The second after I said it, I was glad I did. It was raining pellets out. There was even a clap of thunder in the distance. I didn’t want to have to walk through that. Besides, why wasn’t it snowing? Stupid weather.

Remus nodded, grabbing his bag and following Peter out the door. After seeing Remus disappear through the door, I sank back into my bed – my cold bed. That was one thing I hated. How when I got out of bed, even for a few minutes, it’d never be the same when I crawled back in. The warmth would always slip away into the air, and the dent that cradled my head would disappear. Why couldn’t I be able to get into the same comfortable spot? Why couldn’t the bed just stay molded to my body? I never knew.

I thought about this for a while and realized that it wasn’t always bad. It was not bad when, upon re-entering bed, a better position was found or more warmth was created. When I found that I was happier on my stomach than on my back was when I was glad that the bed wasn’t molded. Nothing should be set in stone like that. You’d never know what you were missing if something better never came along. I would eventually learn to think of life like that.

About twenty minutes later, I heard footsteps coming toward the door of our dormitory. My eyes snapped shut, thinking someone was sent to check on me. I wish I could have said it was out of concern, but it wouldn’t have been. It would’ve been because ‘James Potter’ and ‘sick’ went together a little too often.

Honestly, I never got sick. I was the healthiest student in the school. Healthy as a thestral, I liked to say. So I figured, because I was never sick, I deserved a few sick days. I mean, other kids got to miss class when they were feeling under the weather. Why shouldn’t I? It wasn’t fair to deny me that, just because I was blessed with a strong immune system.

But it sounded more than the nurse coming to take a peek at my health status. There were a lot of footsteps. Angry footsteps.

The door burst open.

Padfoot, Moony and Wormtail piled into the room, each wearing a disgruntled look.

I sat up in bed, surveying each of their angry faces.

“What happened? Kettleburn put that spell on so you couldn’t hear the lesson again?� I asked, laughing a little bit. They didn’t laugh though. Boy, were their knickers in a twist!

“What’s the date?� Sirius asked, mouth tight.

“Hell if I know. December seventeenth, I think.�

“Exactly!� He threw a finger into the air. “Saturday, December seventeenth.�

Another look at their frustrated faces and I was sent over the edge.

“It’s not funny!� Remus threw a pillow at me.

I fell back into bed, clutching my stomach and barely able to breathe. It wasn’t just the situation; it was the whole thing. From them waking me and rushing out the door to their stone faces and their sopping clothes and hair. It was hilarious.

“Well, while you’re having a right laugh at our expense, I’m going back to sleep.� Sirius dried himself with a wave of his wand and dramatically crawled into bed, mumbling something about pneumonia. I closed my eyes, trying to sleep too, but in the end opted for a shower.

The floor was cool on my bare feet, causing goosebumps to erupt on my arms. I walked groggily, the room dark from the closed curtains and grayness of the rain. So groggily that I didn’t even know what hit me until I was on the ground, back aching from the impact.

I lucked out of the rain, but of course, I got an effect of it. Sirius, Remus and Peter left their puddles on the ground and I just happened to walk through one of them and slip. With a mingle of laughter and groaning, I struggled to rise, finding that if I move a certain way, my back would pound.

But after about a minute, I was up, rubbing my tender back but continuing my journey to the bathroom.

Like a phoenix, I thought smugly, reveling in my own strength.

And a minute later, I was in the shower, pulsations of pain through my body gradually decreasing. As the steam filled the shower, warm water soothing my muscles, my mind began to drift.

In five days, I was going to be on the train home. Call me a Seer, but I knew exactly how it was going to go. My mum would pick me up at the train station right on time, ecstatic to see me, and full of all sorts of questions about my life, from school to my friends to Norah. Then she’d ask me what I wanted for dinner. Anything in the whole wide world, she’d say. And when I’d answer, she’d wink and say that it was already on the stove.

It got a little bit trickier when I tried to imagine my arrival at home. I knew my father, so I knew that he’d bring it up. When was the question. Maybe the day after I arrived. Yes, that made sense. He’d call me into his office ask me about my plans. And, of course, I would tell him. I’d tell him that I had the same plan as the last time we spoke, that I had always had that plan, that I would always have that plan. He would stare at me for a moment, sizing me up, and like clockwork, his eyebrows would furrow together. He’d ask me why I didn’t want anything real, why I couldn’t be more like him. He’d tell me that he loved me and he only wanted what was best. And my plans weren’t best.

Then I would shrug with the knowledge that indifference drives him crazy. Be this or be that, pick a side and stand for it. Whether it’s right or wrong, it doesn’t matter, as long as it’s what you believe in. Don’t just be in the middle, thinking you can go onto the winning one when it’s all done, was what my father always said.

He’d get angrier and I would too. So I’d slam the door of his office, wondering why he never thought about what I wanted. And as soon as I would leave, he would wonder why his son wasn’t more sensible.

That was the way our recent outbreak of fights had been anyway, so I figured the one coming would be the same.

I turned up the water, not wanting to think about my father, not wanting to think about much of anything.

Sirius, Peter and Remus were fast asleep when I got out of the shower, careful to look where I stepped. I played with the idea of shaking my wet head off on Sirius, but decided against it. I didn’t feel like opening that can of worms. I loved to prank people, but us against them. Us against us never worked. We knew each other’s tricks too well so it wasn’t as fun. It was the four of us against everyone else. That was the way we all liked it.

I dressed quickly, hoping to do a little flying after breakfast. So I sped down the stairs into the common room with my broom, ready to run to the Great Hall to grab something to eat. It wasn’t until I heard the angry grumble of thunder did I remember the weather. I didn’t mind flying in the cold or the rain, but flying in rain with a temperature just above freezing didn’t appeal to me. Well, not that day, at least.

Not as eager to eat, I sunk into a chair, rerouting my day. I needed a pick-me-up, something to raise my spirits. The worst part was that, for me, it was flying. When I flew, I was on top of the world (literally too, I suppose). There was nothing like it. Well, except pranking… Smiling, I knew what I needed – a good laugh. After all, break was in a few days and I wanted to go off with a boom.

Feeling better at the prospect of a good prank (hopefully on Snape), I bounded off to breakfast, planning on consulting Sirius, Remus and Peter when I returned…if they were up yet.

***

“Ugly day out.�

I grimaced as a loud clap of thunder echoed through the Great Hall. I could care less about the weather, with two exceptions. One, when it interfered with Quidditch or flying, and two, when it interrupted my breakfast. This storm had done both that day. Therefore, I could not overlook it.

“I’m glad I don’t have to go out in it.�

I saw Norah frown out of the corner of my eye.

“Aren’t we going to Hogsmeade?� she asked, and I could hear her spirits drop.

Damn. Hogsmeade. It was announced about two weeks ago and Norah asked me if I wanted to go. Of course, I had completely forgotten.

“I – it’s terrible out, Norah. I really don’t – � I took in a breath. At my words, her face visibly fell.

“I just thought it’d be fun, to spend the day together.� She shrugged. “It seems like we’ve just been passing by each other lately. And I still have to get a Christmas present for my mother…�

I hated seeing her so disappointed. It made me uneasy, it really did, but seeing that heavy rain did too. I really did not want to walk to Hogsmeade and then walk around Hogsmeade in that, especially to search for a present for Norah’s mother. That would take forever.

And then there was the prank. How would we plan it if I were stuck in Hogsmeade? The whole situation was just lose-lose.

“It’s fine, James. You don’t have to. I’ll just go by myself.� She turned away from me.

“Are you sure?� I asked, knowing it wasn’t fine but wanting to play dumb to evade having to go.

She just nodded, still not looking in my direction. Having won a small victory, I kissed her cheek. “You’re wonderful.�

I got up to head back to the common room, and when I did, I met Lily Evans’ eyes. She had been watching and listening to the whole conversation.

When I returned, Remus, Peter and Sirius were still asleep, something I expected. So I went to the common room to sit in a squashy chair, maybe read or doze off or something.

I closed my eyes and rested my head against the chair; the thump, thump, thump of the rain on the castle provided a lullaby and I began to drift.

“James. JAMES!� I practically jumped out of the chair. One second it was the warmth of the fire and the rhythm of the rain, the next, screaming in my ear.

“What?� What did Norah want now?

“You don’t want to come to Hogsmeade because you want to sleep in a chair?�

What was her problem?

“No, I don’t want to go to Hogsmeade because it’s raining like hell out there,� I responded, gathering my thoughts after my abrupt awakening. The rain was a perfectly sensible reason to not want to go to Hogsmeade with her. Why couldn’t she see that?

“I was talking to one of my roommates, and she brought up a very good point, you promised me you’d go. When someone says they’ll do something, they should do it! I mean, it’s just a little rain. You won’t die or melt or anything if you go out there. You’ve played Quidditch in much worse weather!�

“That’s completely different, Norah. I don’t have a choice with Quidditch. And I promised before I knew it was going to be miserable out.�

As I spoke to Norah, my head began to pound. My blood began to rush; I could feel it pulsing through my ears, anger seeping through my veins. There was nothing like a good argument, one to really keep me sharp. I usually left that to Evans, since Norah and I barely ever fought. She was very non-confrontational.

Evans.

I jumped out of my seat, disliking the power Norah had by looking down at me and yelling.

“And which ‘roommate’ were you talking to? Lily Evans?� Of course it was. I knew Evans. Even when we had a truce, she wanted to cause problems.

Norah’s face turned red. “What does it matter?� she asked, her voice a little less sure.

“What does it matter?� I exploded, hands flying outward. “She hates me! She just wants to cause problems between us!� I didn’t actually think this was true. I was pretty sure she didn’t hate me anymore, but it sounded better. Blame it all on Lily being ridiculous and wanting to sabotage my relationship. In honesty, I didn’t want to fight with Norah. I didn’t like to fight with her. It wasn’t the same as fighting with Lily or Snape. Seeing Norah looking angry and yelling just rubbed me the wrong way.

“Don’t start this, James. This is probably news for you, but Lily’s life does not revolve around ruining yours. And what was with all the crap about you and Lily ‘making peace’ and how you’re friends now? I guess it was just a lie!�

I closed my eyes, head still aching.

“I’ll go,� I said through clenched teeth. “I will go to Hogsmeade with you, Norah.�

When I opened my eyes, her hands were folded defensively in front of her and her mouth was a thin line.

“Don’t go if you don’t want to, James,� her voice was dangerous. I looked at her for a moment, and decided that she looked cute angry.

“I want to,� I said, much softer, walking toward her a little bit. “Come here,� I whispered, pulling her close to me. Merlin, I loved her.

***

“Ready?� Norah asked, holding her hand out to me. I nodded, taking it, and bracing myself to walk outside. The rain had lightened a bit, so that was a positive.

“Here,� she said, handing me a green umbrella. “Good idea, right?�

I smiled, pulling out my wand instead of taking the umbrella she offered.

“Engorgio,� I muttered, pointing my wand at the umbrella.

“That was a good idea,� Norah smiled as I opened the umbrella, which would now ensure not a drop of rain touched us. She comfortably settled by my side and we began the long walk to the village.

Not many people were going, a few couples and a few groups of friends. Only the brave or the extreme last-minute shoppers ventured out. Well, and me. I wasn’t being brave by going and I didn’t have anymore shopping to do. I was just being forced.

I kept my eyes on the ground, hoping to avoid stepping in the pool-like puddles of water. So it wasn’t until I saw their feet did I notice there were two people walking in front of us. And it wasn’t until they raised their voices could I hear them over the pattering of the rain.

“He’s an idiot, Lily. A Hufflepuff Mud– idiot. Why don’t you just date Potter or Black? This guy is just as bad as them. He’s a sod-head.�

I looked up at the sound of my name, which was spat out. It disgusted me to even hear my strong, dignified last name on Snape’s lips, who, by the way, was the real sod-head. My fist curled around the umbrella and I opened my mouth, ready to teach him a lesson, when I stopped myself. I wanted to hear their conversation more than I wanted to crush Snape’s ugly face in. And that was saying something, because I honestly hated Snape more than any other person in the world.

Lily turned on Severus quickly, her dry hair flying over one shoulder. How was her hair dry? Then I remembered, this was the talented Lily Evans. Of course she would know a spell, something that never even occurred to me.

“Everyone is an ‘idiot’ compared to you, huh, Severus? Why do you even care who I date? It’s none of your business.� I couldn’t see her eyes through the rain, but I imagined them. They were probably flashing emeralds, the way she would look at me.

He was gaping for words and I loved to see him squirm. At least Lily could put him in his place.

“I-I just look out for you, Lily,� Snape said. I wanted to laugh out loud. Look out for her? Yeah, right. He liked her and he wanted her all to himself. He didn’t want her to date some guy. And, for the first time in my life, I could actually see where Severus Snape was coming from.

“Look out for me?� she exploded, something I had witnessed so many times. “By calling perfectly-nice boys ‘Mudbloods’?� Snape’s face whitened and I was completely gleeful. “Yes, I heard what you were going to say. And bringing Potter and Black up? Why would you even mention them?�

“I’ve told you a hundred times! Potter fancies you! Why don’t you believe me?�

At this point, Norah looked at me strangely. I guess she was listening too. I smiled and shook my head. Snape was obviously off his rocker, no surprise to me…the little freak.

“Hey, Snape.� He was obviously so stupid that he didn’t notice us walking behind him. Surprised, he turned around.

“She finds it hard to believe because James is holding his girlfriend’s hand right now,� Norah called over the rain, laughing a little. I lifted our linked hands, beginning to laugh too. That look on Snape’s face, oh, it was priceless. He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it after a few seconds. His hair and face were dripping from the rain. Obviously, Lily didn’t teach him the spell. His face was red and looked strangled, like he wanted to retort so badly but had nothing to say…that was a first.

Instead, he glared at me for a moment, something I returned with a smile. “I’ll talk to you later, Lily,� he choked out and then sped up his walking and disappeared.

“Well, at least he got a shower,� I said, rather loudly, hoping he could hear me. Norah laughed a little, and to my surprise, so did Lily. She fell into step with us, her body still repelling the rain. Norah linked arms with her. Apparently, they were friends?

“Honestly, Lil, I don’t know why you talk to Snape. Mary and I were talking, and he’s really no good for you.�

Lily just shrugged, catching my eye. Norah didn’t even notice that our eyes were locked.

“...But you and Evander, don’t let Snape get in the way. You two are perfect together, right James?�

I looked at Lily for another second, her green eyes…her red hair…the way she looked back at me, like she could read every thought going through my head. I couldn’t answer Norah’s question, so I looked away, still feeling Lily’s eyes on me and wondering if Norah noticed anything, hoping she didn’t.

Norah and Lily continued to talk while I watched the rain descend from the sky and splash onto the ground, wondering what I really felt for Norah or Lily.