Diary of a Thousand Heartaches by Seline Black
Summary: Diary entries from various characters in the form of poetry telling of love, loss, and heartache.
Categories: Poetry Characters: None
Warnings: None
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 9 Completed: No Word count: 1193 Read: 24595 Published: 05/04/07 Updated: 09/12/07

1. Chapter 1-Through the Rain by Seline Black

2. Chapter 2-Pretending by Seline Black

3. Chapter 3-What I Like About You by Seline Black

4. Chapter 4-This Place by Seline Black

5. Chapter 5-Frozen Frame by Seline Black

6. Chapter 6-Fate of My Future by Seline Black

7. Chapter 7-In the Shadow of a Death Eater by Seline Black

8. Chapter 8-Dreams of Darkness by Seline Black

9. Chapter 9-Unlikely Prince Charming by Seline Black

Chapter 1-Through the Rain by Seline Black
Author's Notes:
To Lily after being called a Mudblood in her 5th year.


I’m sorry it had to end this way
I hope you know I care.
I want to hold you in my arms
But no, I would not dare.

I see the way you look at me
With eyes of green and sorrow.
But I see the hope. I see the light
And sunshine of tomorrow.

I want to wave my magic wand
To make everything okay.
But there may be another plan
And we won’t have a say.

I want to hold you in my heart
And throw away the key.
I want you to embrace me
And forever we would be.

I’d love you more than yesterday
And less than days to come.
I’ll fight for you until the end,
Your heart I will have won.


--Severus
Chapter 2-Pretending by Seline Black
Author's Notes:
To James in 5th Year
I pretend that we are hardly friends, that nothing’s going wrong.
I pretend I don’t relate the issue to all my favorite songs.
I pretend that I don’t like you, at least not in that way.
I pretend that I don’t think of you every single day.
I pretend you’re never in my dreams in the dark of night.
I pretend that I don’t see you, though you never leave my sight.
I pretend I write this not for you, but for some other guy.
I pretend that I don’t see you as you walk on by.


--Lily
Chapter 3-What I Like About You by Seline Black
Author's Notes:
To Lily in 7th Year
I like the way you hold my hand
And how you say “good night.”
I like the way you look at me
While holding me so tight.
I like how you make me feel secure
When you’re by my side.
I like how you feel beautiful
When you look me in my eyes.
I like the way you say my name
And even how you dress.
And how you think I’m more amazing
Than any of the rest.
I like the way you think of me
And hug me all the time.
But most of all I like the fact
I know that you are mine.


--James
Chapter 4-This Place by Seline Black
Author's Notes:
Diary entry after Voldemort kills Potters on Snape’s information, and also from perspective that he did in fact genuinly feel badly about what he did...
I do not want to be here, not back in this place.
I thought this place was far from me, I thought that I was safe.

I do not want to be here, I need to clear my mind.
I want this vacant feeling gone and peace again I’ll find.

I do not want to be here, I do not understand.
My emotions are unstable, like wind blowing the sand.

I do not want to be here, I really want to care.
And wake up every morning thankful that it’s there.

I do not want to be here, not back in this place.
I want this place away from me leaving not a trace.


--Severus
Chapter 5-Frozen Frame by Seline Black
Author's Notes:
To Tonks while in the Order
There’s a picture of you and me.
That I’ve made up, that you can’t see.
My picture seems worthless, and without a frame.
It’s cracked and worn though I feel no shame.
I hold it to my heart, feeling its warmth.
Yet at the same time it’s cold in its form.
It’s iced on the edges, making it rough.
The sun tries to melt it, but it isn’t enough.
It’s not enough to melt through the frost.
I realize now what I have lost.
Letting go of my picture, it falls to the floor
Shattering in pieces of a thousand or more.
So frozen cold with my doubts and fears
Not seeing it before, it had not been clear.
We can’t be together, it’s too much to ask
The picture of us is now in the past.


--Remus
Chapter 6-Fate of My Future by Seline Black
Author's Notes:
Harry's diary entry after Dumbledore tells him the prophecy
I’ve found myself standing here where I never thought I would.
I had thought this way was lost, as I thought it should.

You see this road led to a place I never wanted to be.
Climbing up that beaten path, I almost couldn’t breathe.

I had continued in my journey to this open space,
Dreading no more darkness and a fear without a face.

I finally came upon this clearing with clean air to breathe.
Knowing this was my destination, I am now at ease.

I made my choice. I weighed bad with good.
Deciding to take the beaten path and end up where I should.

“Neither can live while the other survives,” is what was said to me.
I can tell you it is I who’ll live, it will not be he.

I pray to stay strong, that my heart will someday mend.
Hoping to find peace of mind instead of hurt again.


--Harry
Chapter 7-In the Shadow of a Death Eater by Seline Black
Author's Notes:
---This is for the Hermione/Draco shippers out there. I am not an extremely strong supporter myself, but feel it is possible and find the idea very interesting. --- To Hermione during her 6th year at Hogwarts

I hate the way I tease you and insult you all the time.
Calling you the foulest name when I wish that you were mine.
I wish I could tell you what I’m feeling, but can’t tell a single soul.
It would go against how I’ve been raised, so I have to play a role.
I have to play a role that heritage really matters.
When deep inside I know my heart will surely shatter.
Shatter over what I’ve done and what I’ve said to you.
I did tried to give you warnings, but don’t think you had a clue.
I tried to keep you safe from his followers at the World Cup.
When I thought of you in danger the fear was rising up.
And it’s rising even more at what I have to do.
I hope you know I have no choice, on orders from You-Know-Who.
And so I’d bid you a silent farewell, and get back to the dreaded plot.
There’s a good chance that I will die, though I pray that you will not.


--Draco
Chapter 8-Dreams of Darkness by Seline Black
Diary Entry: Sometime during Half Blood Prince


It follows me in the day and haunts my dreams at night
Like a shadow on the wall fading in the light.
Then the shadow calls to me, taunting what I fear.
It's telling me what I want most is an image in a mirror.
But then I bring myself to rest, I need to clear my mind
And put an end to the search of what I fear they’ll find.
Then my fears of the unknown wake me from my sleep.
What the future holds in time, is dim, not clear to me.


--Lord Voldemort
Chapter 9-Unlikely Prince Charming by Seline Black
Author's Notes:
To Ron in 6th Year
Some day your prince will come is what they’d promise me.
But I could not imagine who that one would be.
They say no guy is perfect, that he does not exist.
But who is this I’ve found, my dream come true, my wish?

He’s everything I wanted and everything I need.
But in my heart I feel, me he’ll never see.
His heart is looking elsewhere and doesn’t see me here,
Standing right in front of him with a single tear.

In my heart I know this, I feel it deep inside.
But I cannot resist giving it a try.
I tell myself he’ll come around and see me standing here.
He’ll walk up right beside me and wipe away my tear.


--Hermione
This story archived at http://www.mugglenetfanfiction.com/viewstory.php?sid=66968