She sat in the overgrown grass surrounding the rusting playground. Her fingers brushed lightly over the blades, and the cool wind gently blew back her long hair. She felt tired from being in the sun all day. Even as it set, it continued to radiate heat onto everything. She was fifteen and home for the summer. Unfortunately, her school situation and her sister Petunia’s malice had made it so she had no friends during the summer time. Save one…





As Lily lay back in the grass she caught sight of a familiar shadow.





“Hello, Lily,” said a boy with shoulder length black hair.





“Hi, Sev. Can’t stand this can you?”





She pushed herself back up as Severus Snape sat down next to her.





“Can anyone? A summer surrounded by Muggles. What I wouldn’t give-” Severus quickly cut himself short.





“Sorry, Lily I forgot.”





She looked at him but didn’t say anything for a while. Her face was unreadable.





“Hogwarts is the only place I’ve ever felt at home,” Severus said, plucking a weed.





They sat side by side staring at the decaying swings creaking in the wind.





“Remember when you first told me that I was a witch?” Lily asked laying her head on his shoulder. He knew that she would let his comment slide. He could smell her hair; feel it warmed from the sun. The vanilla scent lifted him gently. He was in love.





“Yeah, I remember. We were here in the park. You weren’t very happy.”





She laughed gently, her slight frame shaking. “I am now. It’s worth every fight with Petunia and every l-lonely summer,” whispered Lily, her voice cracking. He knew that she wasn’t shaking from laughter anymore.





“Lily…” Snape always had trouble expressing his feelings, especially to her. He spoke carefully.





“I’m glad that you’re here.”





To Severus’s relief and surprise, she smiled up at him.





“I was thinking the same thing.”





****************************************************************





His parents were shouting again. No he thought, my father is screaming. His mother never stood up for herself, let alone for him. She was plagued by undue guilt. She hated being a witch because she believed magic to be the problem in her marriage, in her life. And so Severus lived under the tyranny of his Muggle father. He grew to hate Muggles and everything associated with them. By fifteen, his prejudice had grown to overshadow most good things inside him. Only with Lily did his capacity for love shine. Only with Lily did Severus Snape forget to hate.





Lily spent a lot of the summer outside her house. She soon made friends with teenagers who lived in their village. She was too happy, too friendly, and too pretty to go unnoticed biking around the neighborhood or swimming at the community pool.





Severus was in awe of her. He spent his summer shut in his room during the day, his door permanently locked to everyone but him. He was not capable of following along with Lily during the day. His dislike of Muggles, maybe even of people in general, was too great. At night he would sneak out of his house and walk in the cool air. Then, sometimes, Lily would join him for a while. He was happiest then. They were their own oasis of magic in those still nights. They would talk about anything, but mainly of Hogwarts and the wizarding world. Sometimes Severus would talk about his family. Lily was the only one he could open up to.





“Does he hit you?” Her green eyes were wide with a range of emotions. Anger, fear, and worry flitted quickly in them.





He met her gaze for only a moment. It was too much to have Lily Evans so close to him, so ready to defend him.





His mouth broke into a reassuring smile. “When I was young he would. But once I got a grip on my magic he didn’t dare. When I was ten I deboned both his arms on accident. I can’t do anything now. But he doesn’t know that.”





She found his hand in the dark. It was balled into a fist. He eased it open as she took it in hers and squeezed it gently. That wonderful smell of vanilla wafted over him again.





********************************************************************





The rest of the summer passed quickly. Severus and Lily’s friendship grew as it always did on their breaks from Hogwarts. They were both beyond excited as the first of September drew near.





Lily felt guilty about liking Severus better in the summertime. He wasn’t hanging around with the rest of the Slytherins, dueling and plotting. That side of Severus had always caused her to stand back a little from their relationship. She could never get too close because she had some idea of what he was capable of becoming. And while he had never been mean to her or hurt her, she knew that deep inside, he felt superior to her because she was Muggle-born.





During the summer, Severus was different. He was kind and they were very similar. She never read too much into what her friends told her at school. That he wanted to be a Death Eater; that he’d used Dark Magic. He was her friend since they were young. She would always care for him.

Kings Cross. Everything about it was beautiful that day. The white light filtered through the windows highlighting every wizard’s favorite barrier with a welcoming glow.

Lilly hugged her mom and dad. They smiled down at her, and her father kissed the top of her head.

“We love you. We are so proud of you.”

Behind the barrier was a different story. Severus stood alone. His parents had not felt the need to see him off, which was fine with him. To think of his classmates gawking at his Muggle father was repulsive. Looming in the shadows, he finally saw what he had been waiting for…Lily.

She came through without her parents. He, maybe only he, noticed her quickly wipe tears from her eyes. She glanced around the station and her face split into a delighted smile. She turned her body and suddenly they made eye contact.

The steam from the engine clouded the multicolored light shining through the stained glass windows. For that moment there was only Lily; her red hair shining like a halo, her green eyes bright from tears and excitement, her lips that slowly parted forming…his name.

“Severus.”

She’d asked her parents not to see her off on the train. They seemed to understand, she was barely controlling her emotions. But her first glimpse of the Hogwarts Express was pure joy. And then she saw him.

The shadows played dramatically off of his face. Already in his robes, the rolling steam curled around his feet. He’d done something with his hair. It lay playfully across his eyes, his head turned slightly downward and cocked to the side, inviting her; he met her gaze with his deep eyes. Though they had seen each other only the day before, it was like meeting after a summer apart.

Lily left her cart and went over to him, pulling his tall frame down for a hug. He was in shock. He knew her friends didn’t like him, and Gryffindors and Slytherins were rarely in close contact (unless you counted duels). He realized she was risking those relationships by being so open about their friendship. A wave of love passed through him, but too late. She pulled away.

“I have to go to the Prefect cart Sev, but if you want we can meet later on the train.” She was breathless. She had a way of perfectly expressing how he felt inside.

“Of course! It wouldn’t be the same withou-” he cut himself off. A group of Slytherins were staring pointedly at him.

His heart dropped. There they were, his people. He wanted to stride over to his “friends” and begin their discussions of dark magic again. They always turned to him for the answers.

Lilly knew even without turning. She shut her eyes to the quick throb of a headache. “You know, I think they might want us patrolling the train the whole time,” she said curtly. Severus snapped his head back to face her. He saw her eyes go steely.

“It might be difficult for us to meet.”

He should say something, he should tell her he would wait. But all he could think about was the fact that he had a group of people who wanted to be with him. The feeling of belonging was too strong.

“I guess your right.” Severus knew his words were hurting her. He hated himself for it.

She strode away and Severus went over to the other Slytherin fifth years.

“She filled out, the Mudblood,” sneered Avery.

“Why do you associate with filth like that, Snape? You might as well kiss a Muggle as stand near a Mudblood.” Nott eyed Severus closely.

“I- I hadn’t realized that you could dictate my actions, Nott. You do not know my reasons.” Severus was unnerved, but was quickly falling back into his well worn haughty demeanor. The finality of his tone caused them to change the subject, but not forget it.

************************************************************************

The train ride was uneventful. Lily reconnected with her witch friends, and they laughed about their summer experiences.

“I hadn’t realized I was under very long. My magic hasn’t gotten away from me like that since I came to Hogwarts. Apparently, I had been swimming at the bottom of eight feet of water for five minutes.”

Lily’s audience of her closest friends began roaring with mirthful laughter as the story progressed.

“So the lifeguard dives into the pool and pulls me out by my waist. I thought I was being attacked! I swallowed about half the pool’s water. He practically throws me onto the concrete, and without so much as a gentleman’s warning he begins mouth to mouth resuscitation!”

Eleanor actually fell to the floor at this point. And Lily stared angrily at the ceiling, obviously still traumatized by the incident.

“I don’t think I need to explain to the wizarding world what that is. Needless to say, I broke his nose, and then barfed up the water.” She sighed. “And he had seemed so cute…”

*************************************************************

Elsewhere, Severus had his head bowed in a group.

“I heard he is more powerful than any other wizard in dark magic.”

“What about Grindelwald? Were he out of prison, he’d be the most powerful. Where is the evidence of this ‘Dark Lord’s’ his accomplishments?”

“You’ll soon change your tune. He has power, he has supporters, and the ministry has yet to stop him.” Severus sat back in his seat, “I heard that he cannot die. I will join him, if he continues to rise.”

They kept discussing, but Severus tuned out. He leaned against the window, staring into the rushing hills and villages. Thoughts of Lily’s hug took over his mind. She had held him so close that he felt her pounding heart. Had she felt his?

Severus woke early the first morning of classes, very early. The sky was still dark as he made his way through the deserted hallways. He stopped at the Great Hall and picked up two pieces of toast.

“The house elves remembered,” he said quietly. The previous years he had always woken at this time and at least one of the house elves had always made sure there was something for him to eat.

He liked Hogwarts best in the morning. It was so quiet and peaceful. He hated breakfasting in the Great Hall with everyone there. He saw enough of his classmates during the rest of the day. He entered the library and went to the Restricted Section, holding the toast in his mouth. Two years before he had broken the spell that kept him out and he had frequented the forbidden books often.

He selected a familiar potion book. It hardly earned the right to be with other books of such bad reputation. It was most likely banned because it told how to brew a potion that would make one invulnerable to the Whomping Willow. He sneered, quickly chewing the rest of the toast and wiping his hands. The werewolf needed special treatment.

He wasn’t interested in that potion today; there was another he was curious about. It seemed to be a breed of Veritaserum, but of a more specific variety. The drinker would immediately reveal what they’d most hoped to keep secret. He frowned as he read the ingredients.

“Three months,” he breathed. And even then the potion could go deadly wrong. It required spells and charms and several plants that were surely banned. He gently placed the book in his bag. If any student was capable of completing this potion and manipulating its full potential, it was Severus Snape.

He spent the rest of his time preparing for his classes that day. The first of the year would be double Defense Against the Dark Arts with the Gryffindors. A spasm went through Severus as he remembered what that meant; hours in the same room as James Potter.

*********************************************************************

Lily woke on the first day of class to the sun shining in her eyes. She immediately felt content when she remembered where she was. She dressed in record time and brushed her hair up into an easy ponytail. The other girls were already in the Common Room.

She usually woke early, but she had been up late the night before. The fifth year Gryffindor girls had treated the last night like a sleepover, and it was well into the early hours before the giggling stopped.

It is WAY too early to deal with them, she thought as she heard James, Remus, Sirius and Peter guffawing. She rubbed sleep from her eyes as she stuffed test books into her bag.

Sirius slid over to her, tugging on her ponytail. “Evans! Pined away all summer for me I suppose. I’m here now, ginger.”

“Hm. I had hoped otherwise.” She gave him a falsely coy smile. In the corner of her eye she could see James coming over.

“Guess I’d better go,” she hurriedly excused herself, climbing through the portrait hole. She felt like she was running away, but she didn’t feel like speaking to James.

Talking that night with the girls she had heard enough about James Potter. Though she would concede he was cute, his arrogance was terrible. And the way he treated Sev…

“Oh Lily, why does he like you? You’re practically the only girl who won’t go out with him,” Emily had said.

She felt stupid. She hadn’t realized James liked her so much. She assumed that like Sirius, he was an incredible FLIRT.

But the girls had convinced her, and she wasn’t keen on dealing with him on an empty stomach.

She took out her class schedule during breakfast. Double Defense Against the Dark Arts with the Slytherins. She wondered who the teacher this year was…

************************************************************************
A middle-aged robust man stood behind a cracked oak desk turning his wand around in his hand. He had thick gray hair and in contrast, a wavy red beard. His front brow protruded. He was reminiscent of a Viking, if anything.

Professor Gilbert stared at his hesitant class. They didn’t yet know what to expect from him as a new teacher. Suddenly gripping his wand firmly he raised his arm and in a flash he yelled, “Wands at the ready!”

Taken aback, the only one who managed to block the attack was Severus. Living with a violent father, he’d learned to expect danger always.

The rest of the class, however, took to babbling incoherently. Severus felt proud of himself and Professor Gilbert looked down at him.

“Name?” he asked

“Severus Snape, sir.”

“Well Mr. Snape, at least I know one student in this class would stand a chance against dark magic.” Snape looked intently at the professor. “No, that wasn’t very dark magic, Mr. Snape. Could I ask you, though, if you had anticipated an attack?”

“Your wand, sir. You gripped at very tightly.”

“Oh they’ll have to watch out for you!” said Professor Gilbert happily. He was then about to use the counter curse on the class when he noticed a boy with jet black hair quieting.

“Who is that, Mr. Snape?” asked Professor Gilbert.

“Potter,” Snape practically spat.

“He seems to be throwing off the curse! Amazing, I should say. Especially one I cast.”

They watched as James regained control of his vocal chords. His flushed face broke into a grin.

“Didn’t expect that one Professor!” James laughed happily.

Professor Gilbert released the class. Most looked angrily upon him, some, like Lily, seemed angry at themselves.

“Hello sirs and misses! I am Professor Gilbert, Auror on some kind of a vacation, and you have just been attacked. By what?

“Babbling Curse,” offered Remus.

“You are right Mr…”

“Lupin, sir.”

“Yes. Only two of you responded somewhat appropriately. I could have been anyone! None of you knew what your new teacher would look like. Suppose I was a proponent of evil magic! I could have jinxed the trousers off you! Only Mr. Snape managed to block the curse, and only Mr. Potter threw it off. However, neither of them made move to counterattack.” He stared icily around the class.

“For the rest of this class we will practice blocking spells. You will only attempt to disarm if you are on the offensive, and block if on defense. Mr. Potter, Mr. Snape, I would like you to be our first example.”

A ripple went through the class. Severus and James were out for blood and the two houses could feel it. Professor Gilbert must have sensed something as well.

“If you deviate from my rules the punishment will be dire, boys.” He gripped both their shoulders.

Severus turned to take his place, walking past Lily who whispered, “Good luck.”

“Mr. Potter, you will attempt to disarm Mr. Snape. Mr. Snape, your job should now be obvious,” Professor Gilbert said briskly.

“It’s been a long summer, Snivellus,” said James wolfishly. “Hope you’re not out of practice.”

Severus said nothing but discreetly glanced at Lilly who looked at him encouragingly.

“Wands at the ready, boys! On my count, One, Two, THREE!” roared Professor Gilbert.

“EXPELLIARMUS!” cried James moving like lightning.

Severus too moved quickly, but he still said nothing. There was a bright spark and James was sent skidding backwards. He didn’t lose his footing, but slammed into the wall as Severus strode forward.

“Empelliarmus,” Severus whispered, and James was disarmed.

The Slytherins whooped and ran to Severus. James’ wand had landed near Lily and she brought it over to him. James kept his eyes downward and silently took it from her.

“Aw Professor, let James have another go!” yelled Sirius.

“Class, can anyone explain what happened here?” asked Professor Gilbert, eyes on James.

“Severus cast his spell without using words aloud. It was quicker than the usual Protego,” said Lily.

“Correct Miss…”

“Evans.”

“Yes, Ms. Evans. Now class please pair off. Mr. Potter, you continue to practice with Mr. Snape on the defensive. Let’s see if you two can hold up.”

From then on, James was relentless. Quidditch had taught him the speed he needed to overpower Severus. However, it was almost an even trade off. They were perfectly matched.

From the other side of the classroom Lily watched them, her brow furrowing. She was paired with Emily who seemed to have trouble getting the disarming spell right. Severus and James were both saying the incantations in their heads now and beads of sweat were clinging to Severus’ forehead as he relentlessly strengthened his shield.

She wished Professor Gilbert would tell them to stop. He’d put together the worst possible pair. James would not leave Severus alone now, not a chance. She knew that things would go back to being just like the last years; and Severus would always be at odds with James. There would never be peace.

Severus walked in the empty corridor, immersed in his new potion book. Had he been up to his usual standards of readiness, he would have easily heard the soft footsteps or felt the warm breath on the back of his neck. As it was, Severus was completely vulnerable.

The wandlight reflected playfully in her eyes. Taking a quick breath in, she blew slowly across the nape of Severus’ neck.

She’d anticipated his reaction. Without missing a beat Severus dropped his book, turned on a point and shouted a spell. The green-eyed girl had ducked and whispered, “Petrificus Totalus,” then sat on the floor next to the fallen immobile boy, watching Severus’ spell light up the hallway.

She could almost see his attempt to smile when he recognized her.

“THAT is for showing up the rest of us in Gilbert’s. Honestly, Sev, I could have been anyone.” Lily released him.

Severus burst out laughing. “That was a good imitation. One day, Lily, I’ll get you and then you’ll regret every time you’ve cursed me.”

“Sh,” Lily warned, “what are you doing out this late? What’s that book?”

Before Severus could grab the potion book, Lily had reached it.

“A little light reading, Sev?”

“Honestly, woman! You break my skull and then steal from me?”

Lilly was slightly taken aback by his outright humor. “You’ll live. Besides, you’ll need the practice, I guess. Are you and James going to try to kill each other again this year?”

Severus stood sharply and strode down the corridor, Lily scrambling at his heels.

“I didn’t mean- Sev. Well… hey-”

Severus held a finger up to his lips and pulled her behind a statue into a hidden passageway just as the sound of heavy footsteps began to resonate.

They held their breaths until the footsteps died away.

“Close one,” whispered Lily. She looked around the passageway. “Where does this go?” she asked.

“The dungeons. I’m going there now,” answered Severus.

“A potion then, Sev? Of course it is. All last year experimenting and you never let me know what you were doing.”

He looked at her intently. “Actually, could you help me with this one?” he asked.

Lily was surprised. Severus generally liked working alone. That is, Severus only worked alone. She stared up into his eyes; their faces were very close to each other. So close in fact, that she could smell a light soap on him mixed with something like belladonna. Her heart leaped unexpectedly to her throat.

“Sure, of course,” she fumbled, taking a step back, glad the darkness hid her reddening face.

They walked on quietly, whispering to each other.

“So what are you doing out so late, Ms. Prefect?” questioned Severus.

“I can’t sleep. When classes ended I took a nap and woke up a little bit ago. Now I’m awake for good,” she sighed. “So why do you need my help on the potion?”

She hadn’t asked him yet what it was. She guessed that he wouldn’t want to tell her everything, the sneaky Slytherin. Severus ran his fingers back through his hair.

“The potion needs charms. I could do them, but… you’re the best.”

Severus decided that he was having an extremely unusual night. He never intended to ask Lily to help him. Talking to her, that wonderful idea had crept into his head and he had seized the chance. It almost scared him to think of late nights working with her, a secret they would share.

Severus and Lily entered the dungeon he had chosen, worked for about an hour and then went back to their dorms. Lily walked with Severus to the Slytherin dorms, whispering softly.

“It really is a difficult potion, Sev. I do NOT want to know what your plans are, but stay away from me with it.” She bumped him slightly with her hip.

Severus must have made some reply but he wasn’t aware of it. His mind was filled with the image of Lily stirring the black cauldron, the fire underneath playing shadows over her skin.

“Well, goodnight, Sev,” said Lily and she took a step towards him.

Caught in a moment of indecision and distress, Severus faltered backwards slightly then changed his mind and tried to remain where he was, throwing himself off balance.

Lily grabbed his arm tightly to save him from the trip, then gently moved her arm around him in a hug.

“Goodnight, Lily,” he breathed into her hair.

**********************************************************************

Walking back to the Griffindor tower, Lily couldn’t help but go over the situation. She thought of their last moment, how close they had come to…

No, she decided. No, no, no, no. Not Sev, this is so stupid. Of course not.

Lily had dated some in last year. She’d had fun and felt happy and energized, but never in any danger of getting hurt.

She allowed herself to imagine just for a second, dating Severus. He knew so much about her, maybe they were just too close. It would be different to kiss Sev than to kiss any other boy in the school. She didn’t feel like she could take that step, that one step closer to him, an inch from his face.

She skipped a little in her walk at the thought of that. It felt…scary, she decided. It felt good and exciting, but at the same time, scary. She rubbed her forehead.

Weird, weird night.

It became obvious to anyone who cared to look that Severus Snape and Lily Evans shared a secret. They, on the other hand, believed that their friendship was relatively undisclosed. They considered that most people knew they were on speaking terms, but that their midnight rendezvous of potion making went unannounced. However, even the very beginning of love is like a billboard tattooed on one’s forehead, and Lily Evans was unfortunate enough to have a marquee.

She was careful. She daydreamed only when away from Severus’ presence and even then only when she was alone. But her mind did wander, often at inopportune moments, and her subconscious seemed desperate to proclaim what her lips could not. It was small, but prevalent: his name scrawled quickly on an old parchment just to see what it looked like, a note from him that never seemed to reach the bin, a deep sigh escaping from her chest. She wasn’t even sure how she felt, what she was feeling.

Of course Severus cannot be excluded from this, because though he had superb control over his outward display of emotion, he truly and desperately loved Lily. He readily admitted it to himself, dwelled on it, saturated his mind with every sentence she had ever whispered to him. Severus’ conduct revealed nothing. He was safe to dream about Lily when she sat in front of him in class. There was no chance of a blush, a falter, a hesitation. Unfortunately, when alone with Lily, Severus was unhappily an open book.

The Marauders hated everything about Severus. James, at the very least, was beginning to form the connection between Severus and Lily and a cruel and malicious jealousy grew in him. The Mauraders knew about James’ feud, and they knew about Severus and Lily’s friendship, and because the place where Lily’s affections lay was important to James, they were willing to act. There was more than one wolf in their group.

“Disgusting,” spat James as he watched Lily laugh at something Severus had said.

“I know, Prongs. Gilbert’s a tyrant. There is no way to do his essay and Flitwick’s tonight,” sighed Remus, stretching back on his chair.

“I was talking about Snivellus,” said James, nodding his head to a now more stoic Severus and Lily on the other side of the library.

Sirius quit gnawing the end of his quill and ran his hand through his hair.

“I could curse him. Hell, Wormtail could curse him, James. Go for it Pettigrew,” Sirius laughed prodding Peter.

“Nah, the greaseball and I fought yesterday,” responded James. “That nasty piece of work hit me from behind. He hides it well doesn’t he? There’s no way he managed to get all the burns I gave him healed. I hope they’re there for a week.”

“Why don’t we have a chat with him,” proposed Sirius, rising from his chair then looking down at Remus. “Don’t worry, Mum. I don’t want to fight him.”

Remus chose to leave the library in lieu of confronting his friends just as Lily rose to leave as well. She gathered up her books and her ink and as she tucked her hair behind her ear she just managed to glimpse the approaching trio from the corner of her eye. Severus hadn’t seen them yet. Leaning closer to his head she said hurriedly, “Do. Not. Fight.”

Severus looked to her sharply and then snapped his head towards the Marauders. Lily threw James a warning frown then strode out of the library. Once outside the door she leaned against the wall where they couldn’t see her and found Remus there as well. They shared a brief knowing glance then listened.

“Snape.”

“What, Potter? Can’t confront me without a backup team?” Severus didn’t look up, but his wand was in his hand.

Leaning closer, James provoked him. “Funny, slime like you talking about bravery when you only attack when my back is turned.”

“I’d face you any day, one on one, Potter,” sneered Severus through gritted teeth, rising to meet James at eye level.

“A duel,” suggested Peter hungrily.

“Make it proper. I’m James’ second. Midnight by Barnabas the Barmy. I won’t get in the way. No one will,” promised Sirius backing up James.

“No seconds. If you’re man enough to face me, Potter, come alone.”

“Midnight, pig,” said James his voice rising as he moved to Severus’ face.

“Midnight,” consented Severus, and he walked across the room and out of the library.

Lily had heard him coming and had run across the hall and dropped her books. She pretended to be picking them up as Severus came past.

“Sev, what’s wrong?” she asked innocently.

“Lily, I need you to work on the potion alone tonight. The Gurdyroot has to be added exactly at 11:45. And then two cups of sugar. It’s not in the recipe, but I think it will make a person talk more easily,” said Severus hurriedly as he helped hand her the books.

“Why?” she asked.

“Something about the medicine going down easier. It’ll work.”

“No, Sev,” she stopped in front of him, grabbing his arm, “why do I need to handle the potion? Where are you going tonight?”

Shaking her hand off him, Severus’ eyes turned cold. Lily backed away but met his gaze.

“Nowhere, Lily. I’m just tired.”

“So what was that with James?”

“The usual insults,” Severus said in an offhand way as he moved around her.

Lily watched him go, and then noticed Remus against a wall.

“Remus you have to help me. We’re prefects, we can’t let them kill each other.”

Shifting uncomfortably, Remus averted her gaze.

“It’ll happen anyway. But I’m going to be there. If Sna- if either of them crosses the line, I’ll stop them.”

“Then I’m coming too,” declared Lily decidedly. But as she headed with Remus to the Griffindor Common Room she felt fear crawling in her heart.

**********************************************************************

Severus paced the floor in front of Barnabas the Barmy. His eyes were hollow, mad. His hair, damp from sweat, clung to his face like sticky spiderwebs. Lily had cast a Disillusionment Charm on herself and from the end of the hallway she watched him fearfully. It was like he was a caged animal, a dangerous foreign beast. He looked to her as a black-feathered Hippogriff, talons sharpened and poised over an enemy.

It wasn’t for nothing that Lily was considered the best student at Hogwarts at Charms. The Disillusionment Charm was perfect and the potion ingredients were set to pour and stir themselves at precisely the right time. Lily was stricken by the change that had come over Severus. She did not recognize her friend. She didn’t know where Remus was but she hoped he would avoid Severus right now. She felt a stab of pity for James.

The man himself suddenly appeared a few feet away from Severus having thrown off his invisibility cloak. Even in the dim moonlight Lily could see the cocky smirk.

“Don’t scream, Potter,” hissed Severus. “I don’t want interruptions.”

“I’m tired of talking,” James barely breathed as he flicked his wand.

Severus just had time to block the spell that glowed orange-red. As one blinks, Severus had sent back a spell automatically. It grazed James’ thigh and Lily, horrified, could make out a trickle of blood collecting on the stone floor.

James, however; did not seem to have noticed. His response threw Severus a few feet before crippling him on the ground. Severus pushed himself up and moved his wand in a thrust. James leaped, but his feet managed to get caught and tied by invisible ropes.

For an insane instant Lily wanted to shout the counter spell so James could defend himself. But James appeared to have been able to do it and he sent a wild Expelliarmus! just as Severus did. James’ bounced off the wall then hit Severus and both lost their wands. In complete fury, they lost their senses as well. James flew at Severus with an almighty uppercut. Severus beat him right back.

The fight was terrible. James had a cut above his eye and could not see through the blood. Severus threw him against the wall and James’s head hit with a crack. Undaunted, James replied by punching Severus so rapidly and repeatedly in the head that Severus could barely block him.

All the while they were deadly silent. Only thuds and cracks and gasps could be heard. Severus managed to knock the wind out of James, and as James tried to catch his breath, Severus did as well. But Severus was not quick enough. James tackled him to the ground and wrapped his hands around Severus’ thin neck. Lily had only to watch him once slam Severus’ head onto the stone before she moved like lightning.

She pulled James’ hair sharply and heaved him by the back of his shirt. She had just managed to get in one kick to his shin when James responded to the attack from an invisible aggressor.

Still on the ground, he saw a wand near him. Grabbing it, he pointed behind him and Lily was sent flying. She hit the wall, hard. As she slid down and accepted the blackness filling her mind, she could just see Severus rising.

When she lost consciousness, Lilly’s body became visible again. At first James could not understand what he was seeing. Then, through his one good eye, he learned the terrible truth.

“LILLY!” he shouted grabbing her shoulders. “No! Lily, please. God, what’s the spell- Lily wake up!”

James did not even hear Severus’ roar. The Slytherin, seeing his love helplessly attacked and now seemingly lifeless, grabbed the Gryffindor by his neck and squeezed. James had nothing left to fight him with. He was at last at the mercy of a merciless Snape.

But Remus had seen all that had taken place in those brief moments and now he acted. Sending a spell, he knocked out Severus and then all three lay on the floor, still. Seeing the glow of a wand moving towards them down the hallway, Remus shouted,

“Please! Watch these students! I’m getting the nurse!”

He then sprinted off and returned shortly with the nurse to a now lit hallway filled with teachers.

“My God, what did they do to each other?” asked a stunned Professor Flitwick.

“Not now. Let me get them to the Hospital Wing,” said Madame Pomfrey lifting the students onto invisible stretchers.

Professors Gilbert and Dumbledore followed with Remus. As they made their way, Dumbledore spoke calmly to Remus.

“Mr. Lupin, tell me what was going on here.”

“Dumbledore, it was obviously a love quarrel and the subject of it managed to get herself in the middle,” exclaimed Professor Gilbert.

“No-yes- it was really just James and Snape. Sir, we, I mean, Lily and I, knew they were going to fight and we came to stop things from getting out of hand,” panted Remus, trying to keep up.

“Without informing a teacher? Two prefects?” questioned Dumbledore quietly.

“Sir, I’m so sorry. We had- I had no idea this could happen.”

“I’m not meaning to criticize you Remus. I understand that both you and Miss Evans are friends with the two. I’m merely wondering about the position you were in as leaders of your house and loyal friends. Teachers, it seems, would have eliminated your dilemma.”

Hanging his head, Remus continued…

“Lily said she would be there but I didn’t see her. It wasn’t quite the time when Snape and James said they would fight so I ran back to Gryffindor tower to get her. When I couldn’t find her I ran back to Barnabas the Barmy and…I couldn’t understand what I was seeing. They were fighting like Muggles and coated in blood. Then suddenly James was pulled backwards and then Lily appeared, knocked out.”

Gilbert looked sharply at Dumbledore.

“Disillusionment Charm. She must have put it on herself. No wonder the Potter boy hit her. An invisible assailant. “

“Mr. Lupin, that is enough from you tonight. I will talk to you further tomorrow, but for now, your friends are safe and in good hands. There will be an announcement in the morning regarding duels and curfews.”

Remus could not look into the steely blue eyes but instead stared at the three floating students drifting softly into the Hospital Wing.

Lily blinked her eyes open. She then shut them quickly because of the light. Slower this time, she peered through her lashes.

Hospital?

She was beginning to adjust her focus enough to see the details around her. There was another bed next to hers and…. another pair of eyes.

Her head was too heavy to acknowledge or fully understand the other person she looked at. He also seemed to be fine with just staring. For a while each innocently peeked at the other in between tiny boughts of sleep. Then Lily’s brain started to work properly.

Who…

The question troubled her for a second so she opened her eyes again to the other face. His eyes were…

But she fell back asleep.

When she awoke again, she had shifted. She was now much more fully rested and the light coming in from the windows was an orange-pink. She stretched slowly and contentedly, curling each finger. She felt someone move near her. Looking over without moving her head, she made out his shadow.

“Hey, Sev.”

“Hey, Lily.”

She began to raise herself, but her head pounded in response. She didn’t fight it, but sighed and looked back up with her eyes. Severus put his hand on her forehead and brushed back a few strands of her hair.

She faltered for the right words, her heart doing summersaults in her chest. She was both angry and very sorry. “Sev, you…I couldn’t let you two… I was afraid…”

Severus leaned closer to her, his dark eyes full of honesty.

“So was I.”


**********************************************************************

When James awoke, the past night rushed back to him like an old film reel. He saw the fight between Severus and him, felt the thud of Severus’ fist, and recoiled at the sight of Lily on the ground. He sat up sharply.

Lily was in a chair next to his bed, one hand gently lifting a page in a book she had propped open on her lap.

“James,” she smiled, closing the book, “you’ve been out the longest. Sev’s gone back to the Slytherin dorms for a bit and I just got up a while ago.”

James opened his mouth, shut it, then more determined, opened it again. Lily held up her hand before a word formed.

“Listen,” she began, scooting her chair closer to him, “you didn’t mean it. I was stupid. I forgot you wouldn’t be able to see me.”

But James was single-minded. “Lily, I am so sor-”

“Please, I’m not angry. Let’s just…let’s just drop it,” Lily offered resignedly. She couldn’t meet his eyes and picked at the corner of the book, determined not to raise her head.

“I didn’t want to hurt you,” he earnestly protested.

Lily snapped her head up and stared at James differently now then she had in the past four years. He was suddenly so vulnerable and honest. His guilt had rid him of all arrogance. She then dared, and took his hand.

“I’m fine, jerk.”

He caught the playfulness in her eyes and flirtingly squeezed her hand, a softy wicked grin spreading on his face. She attempted to snap her hand back, but he held it in his.

“So what’s gonna happen to Snape and me? Will we be scrubbing cauldrons until Nearly-Headless-Nick gets to join the Headless Hunt?” James questioned nonchalantly, pretending to ignore her futile attempts at reclaiming her own limb.

“You’re getting different punishments, probably. From Dumbledore for you, and Slughorn for Sev,” she replied through clenched teeth, disliking the purple color her restrained fingers were turning.

“Almost correct, Ms. Evans, but do not exclude yourself.”

Professor Dumbledore strode into the room, his midnight blue robes draping slightly on the ground. James immediately and bashfully dropped Lily’s hand. Dumbledore sat on the bed across from them and then gravely observed the two.

“I’m sorry, Professor,” said James honestly.

“What did I do?” demanded an indignant Lily. She was not inclined to accept further punishment, seeing as she had a lump on her head already.

“Ms. Evans, you failed to inform a teacher about a dangerous and illegal duel and as a result three students, including yourself, spent an entire day unconscious.”

Dumbledore hadn’t said it angrily, but his tone of voice was enough to shame Lily, both for her foolish behavior, and for her childish remark. She kneaded her forehead with her knuckles and mumbled incoherently, but in an apologetic tone.

Dumbledore continued, “Professor Slughorn and I have decided that together the three of you will be patrolling the hallways at night for curfew violators. It seems fitting. I will know where you are at all times, as I too roam Hogwarts in the moonlight.” Rising, Dumbledore turned back to the students, the corners of his eyes crinkling for a second in what Lily imagined to be amusement. He pet James once on the head and then excused himself.

James recovered his composure and sighed. When Lily turned to him she was surprised by his contented expression.

“What are you happy about?” she demanded.

“Hours, Lily. Hours, and you won’t be able to get rid of me.” His eyes were wide with false innocence, the same wicked grin stretching his face.

She allowed herself a low growl to which he chortled in response.

“You forget me, Potter,” an icy voice hissed from behind them.

James’ eyes reluctantly gave up Lily’s to meet the black pools that were Severus’ standing in the doorway. His face changed immediately to one of anger, and the tension in his body was visible.

Lily wanted to pummel both of their heads mercilessly. She eventually decided on the more peaceful route of drawing Severus’ eyes to her own. He found them and his softened naturally in response.

“Sev, please do not fight. You know I can’t ask James, he’s an idiot. But I can ask you. So please, please, don’t fight him again.” She had concluded her speech with mild hysteria in her voice.

“No need to get worked up, Evans. Old Snivillus and I will be best buds,” James declared with a crooked expression on his face, but no humor reached his eyes.

“I won’t let you get hurt again,” Severus said, looking only at Lily. He hadn’t promised her what she wanted, but Lily pacified herself with the fact she would have many nights to work out some kind of peace between them.

***********************************************************************

Severus walked Lily back to Gryffindor tower, carrying her books.

“You don’t have to do that, Sev,” she fought pointlessly with him.

“Lily, you can’t even walk in a straight line,” he argued. She would have protested but she managed at that moment to walk into a bust of Merlin.

“I never could,” she murmured instead as he steadied the rocking statue. He grinned and she was happy that they were able to joke again.

“So I guess we’re going to be patrolling,” Lily said when they reached the portrait of the Fat Lady.

“About that, what should we do with the potion?” Severus asked her.

Lily opened her mouth in mock surprise. “Severus Snape asking me for advice?”

His grin revealed a row of straight white teeth. “I’m all for knocking out Potter, but I figured you’d object.” He said this, well aware that Lily would disapprove, but unable to stop himself from reminding her of his enmity with James.

Lily’s mouth formed a more serious hard line.

“I’m so sick of you two. I guess we’ll figure out something. We can’t be patrolling the entire night,” she responded, absentmindedly pulling a stray hair off of Severus’ sleeve.

He nodded in agreement and then as he moved towards her to pass along her books he gave her a brief one-armed hug. She only had just enough time to register that he smelled like the Hospital Wing and that it upset her, before he walked away. She sighed at herself for being silly.

James was inside the Common Room in his usual conspiratorial huddle with the Marauders. They were bent over a parchment of paper that Remus touched his wand to and then put away. Lily had hopes of stealth, but one of her roommates greeted her by name and the Marauders’ heads snapped up.

“There she is; the little gladiator!” called Sirius, “Trying to prove stereotypes, Evans? Fiery redheads and all that?”

“Trying to prove stereotypes, Sirius? Stupid boys and whatnot?” Lily fired back.

James came to meet her, blocking his friends from her view. “It’s nothing personal, Lily. Padfoot just hates missing a fight.” He stared at her for a moment too long.

“What?” she asked warily under his gaze.

“I-nothing. Do you want to borrow Remus’ notes from the classes we missed?” he asked hurriedly with a slight shake of his head. He had just had an intense moment of déjà vu looking into her eyes. They were so green.

James intended to walk with Lily to the Great Hall from the Common Room using the time to repair some damage. He knew it was not just guilt that drove him to try to right things with Lily; he was well aware now that he honestly cared for her, that he wanted her.

Lily had always been elusive, and in that, intriguing. James was easily charming to most every girl. He was a star Seeker, an intelligent student, a self-confident trouble maker. He was strong, and loud, and the ease he carried himself with was alluring. But Lily…

She could be dismissive of him in the most honest way. She did not care what he thought of her. If she hated him, she did to her very core. If she was indifferent, then there was no hope. James couldn’t understand her. He saw her sweep her hair out of her face in annoyance when reading, or sit with her bare feet in the lake, and he was certain that she had no idea how attractive she was. James’ mind flitted for a second back to the fight in the corridor.

He winced at the memory. He’d hurt her, broken her. Every cell in his brain shied away from that thought. And yet when he’d woken up in the Hospital Wing, hers were the first eyes he saw.

He was certain of it, even if it did feel a little like a dream. But he could distinctly remember her beautiful green eyes that shifted tints as the daylight changed. It was such an intense relief to see them.

He sat melted into an armchair by the fire, examining the stairs up to the girl’s dorm. He would have just run up and gotten her, but Sirius had learned in their third year, that attempting entrance would not end well. As it was, James now had too much time to think of Lily.

It’s not like I don’t think about her all the time anyway. He hated that. She’d wiggled herself into being a constant in his subconscious and a constant absence in reality. He disliked that she had so much control over him; he wished she could be just another girl.

She came down the stairs and instead of giving him the cold shoulder like he expected she went to him.

“You ready to go?” she asked in a resigned voice her eyes scanning his relaxed figure.

He sprang up, then tipped backward into the chair, his feet unstable. Lily couldn’t help but laugh, and she helpfully offered her hand. James took it and she pulled him up. He allowed her to quickly release his hand, even as it twitched involuntarily to hold on to hers.

“So,” he tried coolly, “how were your classes?” She walked beside him casually. He felt triumphant that she did so, her animosity of the past years seemed to be somewhat diminished.

“Ah, you know, keeping my naps to only ten minutes long in History of Magic, trying not to get attacked in Gilbert’s, same Hogwarts stuff,” she said it sarcastically, but warmly. Lily never really felt angry about Hogwarts. She could take the drama as long as it meant she woke up everyday as a witch. She was pretty sure it was a Muggle-born thing.

“I swear, I will never again attempt to throw off one of Gilbert’s curses. It seems like he’s tested every one of them on me,” James grumpily continued as his thoughts turned back to earlier that week. Professor Gilbert had wanted to see how much mastery James had in ridding himself wandlessly of curses. Lily had to admit she was impressed. James seemed to have an aptitude for Defense Against the Dark Arts.

They rounded a corner and entered the Great Hall. Dumbledore was sitting out of place on the end of the Ravenclaw table, waiting for them. A few candles were lit so that they could see each other’s faces. He smiled kindly.

“Ms. Evans, Mr. Potter,” he nodded, “I believe Mr. Snape will be here shortly.”

Even as Dumbledore said this, Lily could see from behind him, Severus coming in. He smiled kindly at her, ignoring James completely. “I’m here, Professor”,” he affirmed, moving to stand on the other side of Lily.

“Alright then. You will all patrol together for three hours. You will then meet me back here, and I’ll send you off to bed,” Dumbledore explained quietly. “Stay inside the school, and should you find any students, handle them as you see fit.”

Lily looked up, surprised at Dumbledore, and Severus raised one eyebrow. James, however, looked relaxed.

“I’d suggest sending them back to bed,” Dumbledore chortled with a twinkle in his eye. He then waved out the candles and lit his wand. Bowing politely to them, he disappeared down the far end of the hall, leaving the trio slightly unsure of what to do.

“Completely off his rocker, that one,” James offered friendly.

“Let’s just get this over with, I’m pretty sure we just have to walk around together,” replied Lily taking a hesitant step towards the door and Severus groaned.

“What?” asked Lily, turning to look at Severus as he rolled his eyes.

“That’s the point, isn’t it? Dumbledore doesn’t want us to patrol, he wants us all to spend time together,” Severus explained with a growl. James eyebrows knitted and he took an involuntary step back.

“He’s expecting us to get along?” James asked incredulously. “He wants us to work out our problems or something?”

Lily couldn’t help it, she was smiling. Perfect. Tricky, but it’s a good plan. She was going to have to play the peacemaker and have more patience than ever, but here was the opportunity, finally. She really wished that she didn’t care if the boys attacked each other, but she despised the thought of Severus getting hurt, or him seriously hurting James. So she would suffer these nights with them and force them to get to know each other enough not to kill each other.

They walked aimlessly for the first hour in relative silence. Lily’s plan was not working. The only responses she got to her questions were monosyllabic. They wouldn’t let her force conversation. She was leading the way, well aware of the two lurking at different paces behind her. At 11:30, Severus finally broke the silence.

“We better go work on the potion, Lily,” he smiled, amused at the shock on her face. What the hell- she had time to think before…

“What potion?” James asked, stopping and staring at them intently. His dark eyebrows furrowed as he shifted his gaze to look upon Lily only. He registered the spasm of guilt that passed through her face with surprise.

“Nothing. I don’t know what he’s saying. You mean for potions class right?” Lily spat out quickly, raising an eyebrow at Severus.

“Nope,” he replied, crookedly grinning. “I mean that potion you and I have been working on at nights, we really will have to hurry to get there now.”

The confusion in Lily’s mind was nothing compared to James’. She was angry and a little betrayed, but James still couldn’t place his emotions. However, curiosity was easily beating his other feelings down.

“So, you two are working on a potion?” James questioned Severus. Severus remained silent but turned his head down slightly, never breaking focus on James. The silence allowed James to come to the correct conclusion.

“An illegal potion?” James guessed, now turning to Lily. He couldn’t believe it, but there was still guilt in her eyes. “Wow. Gotta hand it to you, Snivellus. You got Evans to break the rules.”

“I didn’t know we were going to go and tell the whole school,” Lily frowned at Severus. She couldn’t figure this one out. What was Severus thinking, or…what was he planning? She took a second to study his face. It held no hint of chagrin, only amusement. Lily knew she couldn’t trust herself to decipher Severus’ emotions. She didn’t believe there was anyone who was better at disguising their true feelings.

“Just Potter, Lily. Besides, were supposed to be bonding. The way I see it, Dumbledore will know if we aren’t traveling together, so I had to tell Potter,” Severus concluded, nodding once at James.

“Fine,” replied Lily, still wary. She half stomped off, leading the way to the potion. Her anger might have been more effective if her hair hadn’t been swinging so girlishly behind her. She was certain Severus had ulterior motives and they weren’t peaceful. She could scream at him and his prejudices. As much as she now feared for James’ safety, because she couldn’t see Severus letting him in on the secret without a catch, she also felt a little hurt. She barely let herself admit it; that a part of her felt betrayed. They had lost their shared secret.

The trio gathered around the simmering mixture and their eyes started watering.

“What the bloody hell are you making?” cried an indignant James, coughing as he breathed in the purple fumes. The potion burped, as if in response. It began to spit and the droplets that hit the stone floor whined slightly as they dissolved.

Severus didn’t answer; he seemed to be holding his breath as he sat chopping beetles and quickly sliding the pieces into the potion. It almost instantly defused to a neutral gray. Lily sat next to him and got out her wand, barely skimming the potion with it as she murmured a few words. James sat down as well, and with unreadable eyes, observed Severus and Lily’s activities.

After a few more ingredients had been added, and the potion threw diamond and silver light off the stone walls, Lily and Severus seemed to breathe out in unison and they shared a smile. Lily, however, was very aware of James.

She shifted, so that her body language engaged James, but did not isolate Severus. “It’s a variation of Veritaserum. The drinker will tell their greatest secret. Sev had been working on it.” Lily tossed James the potion book which he caught easily.

James turned his head downward in thought, but then looked up, eyes alight. “It’d be relative, though, right Evans?” He said it as a question, but it was more of a comment.

“What do you mean?” Lily inquired, her curiosity shifting her to face James. He was flipping purposefully through the book to find the potion. He skimmed the page, but did not seem to find it useful. Snapping it shut, he looked up at her.

“Well, the greatness of the secret would pertain to the persons in proximity. What may be a huge secret to tell one person, wouldn’t be to tell someone else, maybe someone who already knows it. Do you get it?” James finished in a flurry, and he shifted, giving the potion a respectful distance now that he realized its powers. He wasn’t sure if Lily would understand his convoluted assessment.

“Huh. I didn’t think of that. I’m not really sure how it will work. I’m curious, but I can’t imagine how we’re going to get someone to test it,” replied Lily, looking back at the flames. She caught two identical reflections of the fire in her peripheral vision. Severus was sitting quietly.

“I can think of a few teachers’ goblets we could slip some into,” James casually suggested.

“Hmmm, appealing, but no,” Lily said, smiling.

“Oh, come on. It would be interesting. Scientific, even,” James laughed.

Lily attempted to swat him with the back of her hand but James dodged. Severus rose behind her and offered his hand. Lily took it and he pulled her up as James rose too. They headed back to the corridor all three still separate, but, Lily imagined, perhaps a tiny bit closer together.

As they entered the last hallway before the Great Hall, Severus called, “James,” in a calm voice. James turned to find Severus not a foot away with his wand in hand. It was instantaneous, not even James’ superb reflexes could move him in time. Lily barely had time for her eyes to widen as Severus casually spoke,


“Obliviate.”