Sirius Black attempted to stand after falling for what seemed like an eternity. He quickly glanced around him to take in his surroundings. But there were not many 'surroundings' to take in. It seemed as though he was in a room that was completely empty, save for a bed and a dresser. Steadying himself on his feet, he began to walk around the room, trying to figure out what had happened to him.
The last thing he remembered was fighting Bellatrix Lestrange in one of the rooms at the Ministry, and then all of a sudden, he had fallen backwards into what seemed like a dark, bottomless pit.
All at once, the thoughts of what may be happening hit him, and he felt his head begin to spin. He started banging his head on the walls, and screaming at the top of his lungs, hoping that someone would hear him. He yelled for Harry, Ron, Hermione, Remus, Dumbledore, and everyone else that he had been trying to help. But no one answered him, and if he was completely honest with himself, he had not really thought anyone would answer. Falling to his knees next to the bed, Sirius put his face in his hands. Tears began to cascade down his face, filling his hands with the proof of his anguish.
As quickly as he had started crying, he stopped and hurriedly jumped to his feet, running to the opposite side of the room. He began following the outline of the walls in a desperate search for a door; he had to find a door to leave this horrid place. Sirius wanted to know what was going on, and he wanted the answers fast.
Upon reaching the middle of one of the walls, he noticed that there was an outline of a door, and he reached down in an attempt to open it, his hand searching for a doorknob. But there wasn't one. Sirius growled in frustration. How was he supposed to open a door if it didn't have a handle? He was just about to try and break down the obstacle when he suddenly remembered that he had a wand -- a member of the Order had given him one before he set off to the Ministry, -- and he quickly pulled it out of his front pocket, pointing it at the door.
"Alohomora." At once the door burst open, but the sight on the other side was not something Sirius had expected. The room was brightly lit, and sounds of laughter could be heard echoing throughout it. Pictures hung on the walls.
But it was not the smell of fresh paint or the sight of the picture-adorned walls or the new furniture that captivated Sirius's attention. While as nice and welcoming as all these things were, it was two people sitting around a rectangular table in the center of the room that made his heart stop. Two people he had not seen in over a decade sat, laughing and having a good time, directly before his eyes.
James and Lily Potter.
Happiness and confusion were the only things Sirius could feel. He didn't notice that he had already begun to enter the room at a fast pace - His feet simply carried him forwards, his mind seeming to be stalled and his body acting without conscious command. And in no time at all, he was standing right in front of his best friend and his best friend's wife. They both looked up at him with smiles upon their faces, love and admiration in their eyes. James quickly stood up and embraced Sirius in a hug that seemed as though it lasted incessantly.
Sirius didn't want the hug to end, but he knew that it must. He wanted to know what was going on, and he wanted to know why James and Lily were there. None of it made sense to him and seeing his best friend made everything seem more confusing and unbelieveable.
"We really had no idea that you'd get here so soon. It's great to see you even if the circumstances aren't the best. Of course you know James, it has been non-stop talk about you since 'it' happened." Lily stated, shivering at the thought of that fateful night when her and James had lost their lives. after James and Sirius broke from the hug and went to sit around the table with Lily. Sirius glanced at the pair sitting in front of him, and although he had an idea of what had happened to him, he still had many questions that he wanted answered. He just couldn't bring himself to ruin the reunion with the couple. He sat there smiling for what seemed like an eternity, when he finally decided it was time to ask them his questions.
"Really? I would have thought that you guys would have only talked about Harry. I never thought you would think of me, too." Sirius smiled to himself after hearing what Lily had said. "I really don't want to end this happy reunion, but I do have some questions that I want answered, and I don't think I can wait any longer."
James nodded in understanding and sat patiently waiting for Sirius to begin asking the questions he knew were going to come no matter what. "Well, first off, what happened? Where am I? Why am I here?" The questions came pouring out before he could stop himself. He thought that the questions may have seemed simple, but he was confused and wanted the answers.
"Well, Padfoot, you're -- I can't believe we're the ones that have to tell you this, but I guess it would be better hearing it from us then from someone else. You must understand that what has happened is permanent, and there is no way for you to undo what is already done." He took a breath, and stared into Sirius's eyes, trying to judge his friend's understanding before continuing. "Remember how you were fighting Bellatrix in the Ministry?" Sirius nodded. "Well, she -- uh -- she hit you with a spell, and you fell backwards ... Well, the veil that you fell through actually leads to here, to the --" James sighed, and he didn't think he could continue, but he knew he had to. "To the World of the Dead." James paused for a moment and continued to look at Sirius, worried how his best friend was taking the news. He nocited, however, that Sirius was still confused as to what had happened, and where he was.
"I still don't fully understand," Sirius stated, calmly. He looked over at Lily as if hoping the answer would be written on her face. But when he made eye contact with her, she quickly turned away from him, instead focusing on her husband.
James sighed, exhaling his breath slowly before he started to speak again. "Padfoot," he said, looking intently at Sirius as he spoke, "you're -- you're dead. The veil leads to the World of the Dead, which means you can't go back. There's no way for you to communicate with anyone besides us and the others that have passed on before you; the dead can only really communicate with the dead."
At this, Sirius jumped up, and began to tear apart the room. James and Lily sat quietly waiting for him to calm down, and once Sirius took his seat again, James continued to explain. "I'm sorry, Padfoot, but this is the truth. It is the reason why you are here, and why you can now see and speak with us. We know it's going to take some time for you to accept this and become used to the fact that you're never going to be able to see anyone on the other side again, and we are willing to wait."
Sirius was barely paying any attention to either James or Lily, however. "How could this have happened?" he screamed. "What's going to happen to Harry if I'm dead? Who's going to watch over him, and make sure that those disgusting Muggles don't torture him?" he yelled. Slamming his fists down on the table, Sirius turned away from his friends. He didn't want them to look at him; he didn't want to admit that they were right, and that he would never see Harry again. He didn't want to accept the fact that he was truly dead, and that such was the only reason why he was sitting there with his best friend and his best friend's wife. Sirius had missed them both for so many years, had longed to see James once more, but now that it had happened, Sirius wished he could go back and do everything over again. He didn't want to be dead. He had to protect Harry; he had to take care of him. And he couldn't do that if he was dead.
"Harry will be fine," whispered James, as if he could read Sirius's mind and was pulling the thoughts right out of his head. "And you know that, Padfoot." he said. "Harry's almost an adult, and he knows how to take care of himself. He's dealt with the Dursleys since he was a baby, and once he is an adult, he will be able to do as he pleases and won't have to see them anymore." James continued to stare at Sirius, who wasn't meeting his friends gaze and was instead staring at the floor. Walking over to the chair next to Sirius, James sat down and, placing his arm around the other man, continued to talk.
"Padfoot, I've thought about you ever since that night. I've thought about Harry, too. I've missed both of you for so long, and now, after all this time, I have my best friend back. Although it wasn't by choice, I'm still greatful to have you with us now. If I could change everything, you'd still be fighting alongside Harry, and Lily and I would be right there with you."
Sirius looked up at his best friend, and then quickly glanced over at Lily, who had her face buried in her hands. Her body shook as she continued to cry, and Sirius stood up and walked over to her. He pulled her off of the chair and began to hug her. "I know you've never really liked me, but we're older now, and I care about you a lot. Please stop crying, everything is going to be fine." Lily hugged Sirius back, and slowly she began to stop crying. She wiped her face, smiled up at Sirius, and took her seat again.
"Alright, can you now explain to me, please, where am I?" Sirius asked as he sat down once more. He looked from Lily to James, expecting them to answer right away. The pair looked at each other, trying to figure out which one of them should tell him.
James won, so Lily began to speak.
"Well, Sirius, you are in your version of the 'afterlife'," she said. "You see, when each person passes on, they end up in 'their' idea of the afterlife. But, since not everyone thinks the same thing, there are many different views on what the afterlife is. I assume the reason that James and I are here is that we all think alike, so our visions of the afterlife are all similar. This is the way we pictured it, and so did you. It's more than likely Remus, Harry, and the other members of the Order are going to think just as we did, as well." Lily looked over at Sirius as she finished explaining the situation to him.
He returned her stare, still somewhat confused, but nodded his head anyway. Sirius had always known that James thought the same as he did, but he had never thought that Lily would, too. They had just seemed so different from each other, after all. But, he thought, seeing as how she and James were married, Sirius assumbed that they must have discussed death and the afterlife with each other at some point, agreeing that they both viewed it in the same way in the end.
Sirius looked over at his best friend, and noticed that James was nodding his head in agreement with Lily. He smiled, thinking and began to think back to when they were younger, and how the two of them used to pick on Lily when they attended Hogwarts. Not once did Sirius think that James would ever marry her; with the way Lily turned him down at every turn, if anyone had suggested to Sirius that he'd see the two of them married, he'd have laughed in the person's face and declared them mad.
But time had passed, all three of them had changed ... and that 'mad' person turned out to be correct as James and Lily actually married each other. Once that had happened, Sirius had gotten to know Lily a lot better than he had for seven years while at school. He suddenly began to fully appreciate at once how lucky he was to have such great friends. If it weren't for them, he knew, he would probably be sitting in this room alone, still wondering what was going on and why.
Then again, a traitorous thought slipped into his head. If we have never been friends, I might still be alive. But he cut the idea off instantly. Sirius didn't want to think that way. He loved being friends with the couple; they were more his family than anyone else had ever been, and he couldn't think of his life without them. A part of him told him that things might have been easier - He wouldn't be dead, for one; he wouldn't have spent a dozen years in Azkaban ... But how happy would I have been? he thought, the wondering suddenly interruped as he jumped when James began talking to him.
"Padfoot, we would like to know exactly what was going on before you ended up here," he said, hesitating slightly before continuing, "That is, if you can remember."
Sirius sighed. "Of course I can remember," he said, "it was hell. For the past year or so, Harry had been having nightmares because the scar on his forehead is linked to Voldemort; he could see where he was, and what he was doing, but only if he knew where he was at the time. Earlier today, he apparently had telling him that Voldemort had captured me, and I believe Harry said that he was torturing me, and was about to kill me." Sirius took a breath, and continued his story. "He used the Floo network to contact me at Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place, but that nasty house-elf, Kreacher, told him I left.
"So Harry thought that I was really captured by Voldemort, and he recognized the Department of Mysteries. He told Ron and Hermione what he saw, and they quickly left to rescue me. If it wasn't for that stupid house-elf, I'd still be alive, and Harry and his friends would still be safe behind the walls of Hogwarts." He slammed his fists down on the table and took a deep breath, struggling to calm himself. "I was notified of what had happened and left for the Ministry. When I got there, most of the Order was already fighting, and Harry and his friends were alongside them. Bellatrix attacked me, and we began to fight each other. She sent a spell at me that, like you said, sent me backwards, and as hard as I tried, I couldn't stop myself from falling behind the veil. The last thing I heard was Harry scream." Sirius shook his head and put his face in his hands. "I should have tried harder," he mumbled. "I should have tried harder."
"Sirius, you did the best that you could," whispered Lily. "No one could have stopped themselves from falling. Harry will understand ... but I am certain he will try and seek revenge on Bellatrix ..., and that scares me." She shook her head, but kept her eyes on Sirius the whole time. He nodded his head in agreement, and noticeing as he did so that James did the same.
Sirius knew Harry very well, despite the short amount of time he actually got to spend with his godson, and he began to worry that Lily was right, that he would indeed seek revenge. Knowing his cousin like he did, Sirius knew that Bellatrix was one of the worste witches Voldemort had on his side, and he knew that she would drive Harry into insanity if Voldemort did not kill him first. Harry was powerful, it was true, but he was no match for her, and yet Sirius knew that Harry would think differently.
He thought back to when he had first laid eyes on Harry. The boy had looked so much like James that he knew it was him at once. There could be no mistaking him for anyone else. And then, he remembered how, almost a year after that initial glimpse, Harry had reacted when he saw Sirius. He had despised him. But he hadn't known the truth about what had happened, so Sirius didn't take it personally. He knew that he would have to explain to Harry what really happened the night his parents had died, and that he would have to tell him who really had betrayed James and Lily. Harry would understand after that, Sirius knew, and once Harry had knwon the truth, Sirius had asked him to move in with him ... But that offer wasn't able to be accepted. Harry had to stay with the Dursleys in order for him to be protected.
"Well, I still should have tried harder," he exclaimed. "There had to have been some way for me to stop myself from falling through the damn curtain." Sirius screamed. In his mind, he knew that James and Lily were telling the truth, and that there was no possible way he could have survived ... But he had always been stubborn, and he didn't want to admit that. There had to have been something else he could have done, and the thought that he may have been able to stop himself was driving him insane.
Sirius struggled to tear his mind from these thoughts and focus on something else. Even though Lily and James had explained just about everything to him already, though admittedly, not everything made complete sense to him, Sirius still had some questions left to ask. "Who else is here?" he asked, looking from James to Lily and back again, trying to see who would provide him with answers. "Are there any other places in this 'World of the Dead' besides this one?"
James looked up at Sirius and began to answer his questions. "Well, so far, no one else has pictured the afterlife like he have, so right now we are the only people here. But to answer your second question, yes, there are other places besides this. The only problem is that you would have to be the one that creates the other places."
"And how am I supposed to 'create' another place?" Sirius asked.
"Well," said James, still staring at Sirius, "you have to picture it in your mind. The walls, the doors, what ever is inside of the room, everything. In order for it to work right, you have to make sure that your mind is completely free of everything else. It's hard to do, but after a while, it is possible."
Sirius looked around the room, and noticing as he did so that there weren't any other doors, except for the one he'd come through upon entering, that is. He decided he would see if James was right, so he concentrated on the end of the room, trying to picture a door, the walls, and everything else that James had mentioned. He wanted the door to lead to a place where he could see if Harry was alright.
But nothing seemed to happen, though, and such a fact disappointed him, making him growl in frustration.
"Padfoot, I know you," said James, and Sirius turned his attention away from the wall and back towards his friend. "There is only one way to see if everyone is alright, but I'm not too sure if you're ready to see that yet. It is the way we check in on Harry from time to time to see if he is safe." James smiled at Sirius as he spke this. He began to stand, but Lily stopped him.
"James, I think we should explain this more before we show him everything," she said. "He still seems to be confused."
"I'm not confused. I just want to know if Harry is alright. I want to know if they're all alright. It's driving me crazy not knowing how everything ended." Sirius stated, looking over at Lily.
Lily let go of James's arm and stood. She reached her hand out to Sirius, who also stood and took it willingly.
"Alright, if you think you're ready, we'll show you. There's just one thing," replied Lily as she began to take a few steps towards a doorway that had just appeared.
"What is it?" asked Sirius.
"You have to understand that no matter what you see, they can't see you. There is no way of speaking to them or touching them. Trust me, if there was, you would have seen us and spoken to us before this."
"Alright, I understand." Lily and James led Sirius over to the door, pulled out their wands, and opened it.
"Oh my god!" screamed Sirius as the door opened, and he took a look inside.
Author's Notes:
Thank you once again to Megan_Lupin for betaing this for me! Also, thank you to voldy_mort and thechocolatefrog for betaing this for me, too. You three did an amazing job. I hope everyone enjoys this.
Sirius stepped towards the open door in a blank attempt to see and touch Harry. He watched in horror as Harry lunged forward towards Bellatrix, and battled with her before he went with Neville to climb up the steps and out the door. Miraculously, Albus Dumbledore came into the room. He muttered a spell and everyone was bound together in the middle of the room. Sirius attempted to walk into the room, but as he did so, Lily screamed and James grabbed his shirt, pulling him backwards. In the blink of an eye, the door was gone and the three friends were left staring at a blank wall.
Lily and James started towards the table they had been sitting at as Sirius began to speak.
"Why'd you stop me from going in there? Why!?" growled Sirius. He stomped over to the table, placed his hands down, and leaned forward to look directly into James's eyes.
James sighed, and then he, too, placed his hands out in front of him. "Padfoot, we told you before we agreed to let you see them," He said, continuing to look back at his best friend. "If you even try to step through the door, you --"
"-- Will disappear," interrupted Lily, and Sirius turned his focus the the red-haired-witch before him. "Along with anything or any body part you just happened to get through it."
Sirius swallowed as he sat down at the table, his eyes going back and forth between his two friends, almost like he was deciding which one to ask his question towards. "What happens to the things that disappear?" he said.
"They, ... well, they end up back into the place you were looking at." Lily used her wand to summon another firewhisky for Sirius, while James finished off his first one. Sirius took the glass and quickly gulped it down. Without thinking, he summoned four more, finishing them almost the second they appeared.
Ten minutes passed before Sirius finally calmed down enough to think clearly. All of the questions he still wanted answers to reappeared in the forefront of his mind, and he tried to figure out how to ask them all and where to start. Deciding that he should just open his mouth and ask the first thing that came to mind, he began.
"Did you guys know about me in Azkaban? Did you know how Harry hated me when he saw me in the Shrieking Shack?"
"Yes, we know about both of those things," whispered Lily. "We also know about Harry's Patronus being a stag, which is what James's Animagus form was." Lily smiled at Sirius as she watched him take in all of the information. She knew he had more questions for them, but she could also tell he was nervous about asking them. Lost in her own thoughts about her friend, Lily jumped suddenly, almost as if a gun went off, when Sirius began to talk again.
"So," he started off hesitantly, his eyes never making contact with either of them. "If I wanted to, uh, see someone else that is, um, you know, dead, ... how do I do that?" Sirius summoned one last firewhisky and stared into the glass as he waited for either James or Lily to answer.
Neither James nor Lily spoke right away, the both of them surely thinking the same thing about Sirius's question. Finally, though, James spoke trying to get his friend to meet his gaze, but Sirius remained focused on the amber liquid swirling in his glass. "There's actually a few ways that can happen, Padfoot," he said. "You could picture them here with you, or they could picture themselves here, or they can bring you to them in the same way."
James looked at Sirius as he tried to figure out who had died that his friend wanted to see. The only thought that came to mind would be either his father or his brother. But both of them were people James never thought Sirius would want to see. His brother, Regulus, had been a Death Eater from the age of sixteen until the day he died. And although he had tried to get out of Voldemort's service in the end, he had still paid the price with his life.
Orion Black was Sirius's father, and he had been very obsessed with a wizard's purity of blood. To Mr. Black, anyone who was less than pureblooded was dirty and those who went against their blood were considered as nothing more than a traitor. When Sirius was placed into Gryffindor in his first year at Hogwarts, Orion had been furious; he even wrote to Dumbledore demandint that his son's house be changed. He wanted his son to be in any other house except Gryffindor - even Hufflepuff had been acceptable to him.
Dumbledore wouldn't do it, though; the headmaster had told Sirius that the Sorting Hat never made mistakes. There had to be a reason for why he was placed in the house he was in, and throughout the years, the reason for Sirius's Sorting became obvious. He was brave and courageous. He stuck by his friends and always helped them when he was needed. In short, it became clear that Sirius was a true Gryffindor.
"I want to see my brother," said Sirius. "There are some things we never got to say to each other." He finally stopped looking in his glass and stared at James and Lily from across the table. "Do I do it the same way as the door?"
Shocked at his friend's words that he wanted to see Regulus, but a part of him understanding Sirius's thoughts at the same time, James nodded and watched as Sirius tried to relax enough to concentrate. After about twenty minutes, an outline of a man appeared across the room. Ever so slowly, his features began to show and become clearer and clearer as time went on, and ten minutes later, Sirius found himself standing face to face with the brother he hadn't seen in years. No one moved or spoke, and to be honest, it seemed like none of them were even breathing or blinking.
"Sirius?" said Regulus, breaking the silence that had fallen over the four people in the room. "What the hell? How did you -- when did you -- oh my God!" Regulus rushed forward and embraced his brother. Sirius was shocked at first at his brother's action, and the brief tensing of his body gave that away. But it only lasted for a second, until Sirius found himself hugging him back. They were both dead; granted, it was, for different reasons, true, but they were dead all the same. What could one little hug hurt?
"Yeah, well, I was pushed through a veil in the Department of Mysteries at the Ministry. I ended up her,." muttered Sirius shrugging before he continued. "And you'll never guess who pushed me."
"Bella." Regulus shook his head and sat in an extra seat at the table. He wasn't shocked to hear that their own cousin was the one who had killed his brother, but he was shocked that it had happened now. He knew the war had started again, but he thought his brother was still in hiding. He knew Dumbledore would never have let Sirius go out in public when everyone thought he was a murderer. (Regulus may have been dead for years, but he had been watching Sirius for a while.)
They had their differences, but in the end, they were still brothers. Sirius had hated him for being a Death Eater, but he had had no choice. Or so Regulus had thought. Their father had never been proud of anything he did, even though he was the one that was sorted into Slytherin and listened to (and believed) Mr. and Mrs. Black. He thought that being a Death Eater would show his father how brave he was and maybe, just maybe, his father would be proud of him. Sirius had the brains, the looks, and he got away from the family as soon as he could. If Regulus would have done the same, maybe he'd still be alive.
"Regulus, I know we never really got along when we were younger, but I wanted to ask you some things." Sirius looked at his brother and hoped he would know already what he wanted to ask.
"Sirius, if you want to know why I became a Death Eater, it should be obvious. You know our father always looked at you differently. He never thought I'd amount to anything," Regulus said, nodding a "Thanks" to Lily as she slid him a glass of butterbeer.
"You don't really believe that, do you?" said Sirius, the disbelief he felt at Regulus's statement evident in his voice. "He cared about you. He may not have said anything like that to you, but I know he did. It was obvious, Regulus, that he was proud of you as soon as you started working for Voldemort. You were the 'perfect son' as far as he was concerned, the one who didn't become a 'traitor to the family.' I was the one that he disowned because of being in Gryffindor and for not caring about his whole pure-blood supremacy crap." He glanced over at Lily, but noticed that she and James were talking quietly amongst themselves, apart from the Black brothers. Figuring, therefore, that she didn't hear him, Sirius decided to continue. "Haven't you seen our father since you've been here?" he asked. "You two probably thought of the afterlife the same way, after all."
"Well, to be honest, yes," answered Regulus, glancing back up at his brother. "I was talking to him before you brought me here, actually, and, well, we were actually talking about you, Sirius." Regulus diverted his gaze to the table, not quite wanting to see his brother's reaction to the fact they had been watching him, and hurriedly continued on. "You already know that Lily and James have been looking in on you, and Harry, and everyone else, but I guess what you didn't, Sirius, was that Father and I had been looking in on, well, on you."
Regulus smiled and looked up from his glass to his brother. He tried to read the expression on his face, but couldn't, and that simple fact made him laugh to himself. I must have been stupid for even thinking I could. I was never able to read his face, but he could always read mine. I don't know how, or why he would want to, but he could and he did.
Sirius stared in disbelief at his brother, thoughts swirling in his mind as he tried to grasp and understand what Regulus had just told him. They were talking about me? They were watching me?! Why? Why would they do that? They already had that old bat of a woman I call Mother in that stupid painting watching over me. Why did they feel like they had to?
Well, I guess there's only one way to find out.
"Regulus I want you to bring him here," said Sirius, glaring at his younger brother from across the table. "I want to see what he has to say about my being dead, and what he thinks about the reason for why I am dead, regardless of the fact, I'm assuming, he already knows."
"Sirius, I don't think that's -"
"I don't care!" exclaimed Sirius, ignoring his brother's plea. "I still want you to bloody bring him here!"
Regulus, James, and Lily all stared at Sirius, somewhat surprised by his outburst. They all understood, to a degree, why he would want to see his brother, but his father? That was a completely different story. They had no idea why he would even think of that. He never would have said anything like that if all of them were still alive. If Sirius had had the chance to see his father alive and well, he wouldn't want to. He wouldn't have even thought about it. The thought of his father would have made his blood boil, and it would have made him want to vomit. Why, all of a sudden, did Sirius want to see him now?
"But, Padfoot, why?" James asked, looking intently at his best friend. "You already know what he thinks, and you already know what he's going to say. Why even do that to yourself?"
"I have my reasons."
"But, Sirius --"
"NO! JUST DO IT!" Sirius shouted.
Regulus sighed, closed his eyes, and began to imagine his father there. He knew it was a bad idea, and he didn't really want to do it, but ever since he was younger, Regulus knew he should just listen to his brother. He may not have always done that during his life, but he always knew that he should. Bringing Orion Black into this room might be a bad idea, but who knows, perhaps something good would come out of the reunion of father and son.
It happened faster than when Sirius did it, but then again, Regulus had been dead a lot longer, and he knew what he was doing. Sirius hadn't. Before either of them realized it, a fifth person had joined the group.
The man stood on the other side of the room, not moving at all. He didn't want to know why he was brought there. All he wanted to do was go back to his own version of the afterlife and stay there. Even if he had to be there by himself.
"Father. It's been too long."
Truth, Lies, and Consequences by TCole
Author's Notes:
For the third time, and probably not the last, a thanks to megan_lupin for betaing this for me! She is extremely talented, and I'm glad I have her as a beta for this story, and hopefully any future stories! =)
I hope you all enjoy this!
“Father. It’s been too long.”
Sirius stayed in the spot he was standing in, watching as his father looked around the room. He nodded his head at his son, Regulus, but when his eyes met the faces of the two people at the table, his eyes became two tiny slits. Orion Black had always been against Sirius’s friendship with James Potter and Lily Evans (Potter). He had not cared too much about James “ the wizard was, after all, at least a Pureblood “ but he was completely against Lily “ the witch was nothing but a filthy Mudblood. Orion just didn’t approve.
Lily moved around in her seat uncomfortably. She felt like Orion’s eyes were burning through her skin. She knew he didn’t like Muggles, and that he didn’t even like halfbloods. She attempted to look as if Orion’s stare didn’t insult or even intimidate her as James unconsciously moved his chair closer to her.
“Why did you bring me here? Especially when you know how I feel about filthy Mudbloods,” growled Orion as he turned to look at his eldest son. Lily opened her mouth to say something back to him, but James stopped her. It was true that they were both extremely angry about what was said, but James knew that Sirius was the one who needed to react. This may have been a bad idea on his part, but James’s doubt disappeared as soon as Sirius began to speak.
“How dare you call her that! If you have a problem with one of my friends, you take it up with me when they’re not around!” Sirius shouted back. “Hasn’t what Regulus went through taught you anything?”
Orion stared back at his son as a smile started to spread across his face. He began to laugh a deep, terrifying laugh, and Sirius looked over at his brother as if he was asking ‘What the bloody hell is wrong with him?’ Regulus shrugged, and continued to stare at his father.
“Take it up with you? That has to be the funniest thing I’ve heard in my entire life,” Orion said as his laughing began to die down. “I am surprised you lasted this long, being who you are.”
“And what is that supposed to mean? What’s wrong with who I am?” Sirius said. He had a feeling that he knew what his father was going to say, but he wanted to hear it from him.
“You know exactly what I mean. You were born a Black, but now, you’re no better than any of those Mudbloods you consort with!” Orion bellowed. He was being honest. He was surprised that his son had lasted this long in the wizarding world being the traitor that he was. He was extremely proud of Bellatrix for what she had done, even if Sirius was his son.
Once again Lily opened her mouth to say something, but unlike before, this time, James didn’t stop her.
“How dare you speak to your own son like that!” Lily shouted. “If anything you should be proud of him. Even though he has some faults, he is a brilliant man. He went to Azkaban for twelve years because of a crime he didn’t commit, but I have not once heard him complain.” Her face began to turn red, and her breathing became more rapid.
“I know he probably complained in the past “ anyone would “ but, I have yet to hear him say anything about it in front of me. He cared so much about other people, and those people just happened to include James, Harry, and me. Why does the purity of blood matter so much to you now? Your youngest son died because of what you told him. He died because you put the idea of purebloods being better than anyone else into his head. If you would have never said that to him, he would still be alive!”
Orion stared at Lily, his own face turning red from anger. He had always hated Lily, but now, that hate was even stronger. Never in his life had a Muggle spoken to him like this, and he wasn’t going to stand for it now.
“Sirius is not my son. He hasn’t been since he was sixteen- years- old. He was the one that chose to live his life the way he did. If he would have just listened to me ““
“” Then I would have died just as Regulus did, and you know that,” Sirius interrupted. “Why don’t you put the blame on yourself for once, instead of trying to make other people feel guilty? Regulus would have never become a Death Eater if you would have just told him you were proud of him. He would still be alive!”
He began to walk towards his father, and glanced over at Regulus as he did so. Regulus was sitting in the same spot he had been all night. His face was in his hands, and Sirius knew that Regulus just wanted the argument to end or at least for it to be about something else besides him.
“And as for me,” Sirius continued, his voice lowering as he got closer to his father. “You’ve known my entire life that I was nothing like the rest of the Blacks. I have always been different. That’s why I got along so well with Andromeda. She actually understood me, and I understood her. Why can’t you just put all of that stuff in the past, and actually try to get to know the son you haven’t had for a long time?”
Orion stared in disbelief at his son. The two of them had not spoken since Sirius was sixteen- years- old, and now that Sirius was offering a truce, Orion didn’t know what to do. He would never accept the fact that Sirius was friends with Lily, and he would never accept that regardless of James marrying a Muggle, Sirius was still friends with him. In his eyes, Sirius had betrayed the family; and that was one thing that Orion Black would never be able to forgive and forget.
“You betrayed this family, Sirius,” he said. “How am I supposed to forgive you for that? The whole time growing up, your mother and I thought you were going to eventually realize that being a Pureblood was something to be proud of. Instead, you act as if it’s something to be ashamed of!” exclaimed the elder Black.
He was still angry about what had happened years ago. It was as if he was reliving it all again in his mind, and this made it so he wasn’t able to calm down.
“I’m not ashamed of being pureblooded. I’m ashamed of what our family was and still is. I don’t agree with anything that you’ve done, or anything that you’ve said. The whole time I was growing up you acted as if being a Pureblood made you superior to everyone else, and it doesn’t!” Sirius argued back as he continued to stare at his father.
“Being a Pureblood does make you superior to everyone else,” said Orion, his voice sounding like he was trying to explain the obvious fact that two plus two equals four to a particularly dense child who still hadn’t understood it. “Since Purebloods are people who have two magical parents, it means that magic is their birthright! Their children may possibly be more powerful than any half-blood and definitely any Muggle,” he stated matter-of-factly. He watched as Sirius’s face dropped for what seemed like the millionth time that night.
Lily, James, and Regulus, who had been sitting at the table quietly for the past two hours watching Sirius and Orion argue about things that happened so long ago and beliefs that had spawned arguments between the two of them every single time, looked up as Orion finished this. Once again, Lily opened her mouth to speak, but this time Regulus started before she could.
“Father, Sirius, why do two have to fight about this stuff? It happened years ago, and yet neither of you can get over it!” Regulus shouted, walking over to where his brother and father were standing. “Father, you’re just going to have to deal with the fact that Sirius is friends with James and Lily, and that he was against your beliefs since he was younger.
“And Sirius, you’re going to have to accept the fact that our father is stubborn, and that he won’t believe anything else besides what he was told when he was growing up. You know, I may be the wrong person to say this, but both of you are being stupid.”
Sirius nodded his head at his brother, but Orion just stood there, staring at his youngest son. Orion was in shock for the second time that night, and this time it was towards the son that he had spent the past seventeen years with in this place, the son that had never tried to talk back to him.
“Regulus, why all of a sudden do you want to talk now? You had nothing to say an hour ago,” Sirius said with intense frustration showing in his voice.
“Because I’m tired of listening to you two fight about the same stuff that you fought over when we were growing up, Sirius,” the youngest Black replied, sighing. “I’m just tired of it. You both need to learn how to put those things in the past. -- I mean, come on, we’re all dead. How is fighting over the same things going to change?”
Sirius knew that what his brother was saying was true, but he just couldn’t bring himself to forget about it. He wanted to, but his father was making it hard. He was willing to put it all aside and actually try to forget about it. The way his father was, though, made it impossible. At this point in time, Sirius was glad that his mother was in the painting at Grimmauld Place instead of in the afterlife at this very moment, but he had a feeling that that may end up changing.
Orion, on the other hand, didn’t care about what Regulus was saying. The way he felt was never going to change, and he wanted both of his sons to realize that. He still believed in the purity of blood making one superior to everyone else, and he knew there was no one that could change him feeling that way. At times like these, Orion wished that his wife, Walburga, had come to the afterlife with him instead of staying in the painting. He knew that there was a way to get her there, but she was set against leaving that house.
“How about a compromise, Sirius? Why don’t you just let me go back to my version of the afterlife? And never, ever bring me here again?” Orion said in a low growl.
Sirius looked at his father, and although he wanted to let this happen, he felt as though he still wanted to make a truce with the man. Such a feeling wasn’t normal for Sirius to feel , but the fact that he was dead, not to mention the fact that his father was proud of Bellatrix for being the one to kill him, made him want to know why. Why did his father believe in the purity of blood so much? Why did his father hate Muggles and half-bloods? Why did his father support Voldemort, even though Voldemort himself was a half-blood?
All of these questions were racing through Sirius’s mind as his father continued to stare at him. He knew that he wouldn’t have to answer Orion’s questions. His father always said things like that, and every time he did, Sirius knew that those questions weren’t meant to be answered.
“Before you leave, which I know you’re going to no matter what I say, I have a question for you,” Sirius said. He looked back at his father, and when Orion nodded his head, Sirius continued. “If you hate half-bloods and Muggles so much, why do you follow Voldemort? You do know that he is a halfblood himself, don’t you?”
Sirius watched as his father’s face grew red with anger, and he smiled to himself for perhaps finally defeating the man who had made his life a living hell growing up. For perhaps defeating the man who had disowned him when he was only sixteen- years -old. For perhaps defeating the man who was now proud of his niece for killing Orion’s eldest son. These thoughts “ these glorious, wonderful thoughts running through his head “ made him feel a lot better about finally getting to see his father after all of these years.
Facing the Truth by TCole
Author's Notes:
I would like to thank Megan and Nikki for betaing this for me. They're both absolutely amazing. =D
Regulus paced back and forth across the room from where his father and brother were arguing. Their argument had been going on for almost an hour now, and the two of them were even further from straightening things out than they had been in the beginning. Regulus knew that he had to do something soon, and while he did have an idea of what could possibly bring his father and brother closer together, he couldn’t think of a way of actually doing it.
At least, not without being seen, that is. It was hard enough for him to stay invisible during the argument (though he had gotten a lot of practice doing so in his life). Adding the mental stress of trying to come up with a plan to bring them together wasn’t helping matters. The younger Black son was reaching his breaking point.
Finally, though, he’d had enough. He stopped walking, leaned up against the wall, and slowly slid down into a sitting position in the farthest corner of the room. The large, wooden table blocked him from being seen by anyone else in the room, and he pulled his wand from his pocket to put his plan into action.
Placing an old photograph in front of him, Regulus took a deep breath and muttered, “Cloustra Minima” while moving his wand in a swift, circular motion. Then, with a final flick of his wrist, the charm he had performed was in place, and he watched as the two people in the photograph slowly began to move further and further away from each other. Sighing, Regulus looked up at where his father and brother continued to argue. The two were standing no more than four feet away from each other, and Regulus felt that he might as well act now: this moment was as good as any other, and besides, he was tired of waiting.
He rose to his feet, picked up the old photograph of his father and brother, and began to walk around the large table to where the two were standing. Immediately, the arguing stopped, and Orion turned to look at his younger son.
“What is it now?” Orion growled, glancing down at what Regulus held in his hands. Sirius did the same and reached out to grab the photograph from his brother.
“Why the bloody hell do you have this?” Sirius asked.
The moment his fingers wrapped around the photo, he felt a strange tingling go through his hand and up his arm. He didn’t think anything about it, soon putting the feeling out of mind, passing it off as imaginary (or a byproduct of being dead, of course). Having put the strange feeling aside, Sirius began to pace back and forth as he looked at the old photo.
However, when he attempted to move further away from Orion, Sirius couldn’t: he felt as if his feet were glued to the ground. He tried as hard as he could to take just one more step, but his body wouldn’t let him.
“Regulus! What the hell did you do?” Sirius yelled.
Regulus looked at his brother, and slowly his eyes began to move down to the picture in Sirius’s hands. A small smile pulled at his lips, and he turned his attention to his father. “Father, see if you can move any further from Sirius.”
Orion lifted his foot to take a step, but, like Sirius, he couldn’t move an inch from the spot he was currently standing in. His eyes narrowed, and he stared back at his younger son. “Regulus Arcturus Black!” he exclaimed. “Fix whatever it is you’ve done!”
“I’m sorry, Father, but I can’t do that,” said Regulus, finally letting the smile he’d held back earlier to break free. His face lit up with the wide grin.
“What do you mean you can’t?” Orion replied.
“Well, the photograph that Sirius just took from me has a charm on it. I can’t break the spell; only you and Sirius can,” Regulus began. “You see, all you two have to do is make amends with each other and become closer, and the spell will break. The photograph is the key; once you two are closer in the picture, it means the spell’s broken.
“Years ago, back when Sirius moved out after you two had your falling out, your photographic selves separated from each other. I placed the Cloustra Minima spell on the photo, and as soon as Sirius touched it, it was put into place.”
Orion growled, and Sirius smiled to himself. His brother was always the type that would try to make people get along. Some things never changed, it seemed, and Sirius doubted Regulus could ever stop playing the peacemaker. He always wanted to help; it was one of the main reasons why Sirius had been shocked in the beginning to find out Regulus had joined the Death Eaters. At first, he couldn’t believe it; joining a bunch of blood-obsessed murderers wasn’t something that Sirius had ever expected his younger brother to do. Not the Regulus who had always shied away from conflict, he had thought before.
But, as time went on, and Sirius really thought about it, he realised that he wasn’t as surprised by the decision as he had once been years ago. Regulus had only joined to show their father that he could be just as good of a son as Sirius had been at one point. His brother had said so himself. He hadn’t done it because he had actually wanted to.
These thoughts of the past drifted into more memories, and Sirius soon found himself remembering a time when Bellatrix had been over at Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place to play with Sirius and Regulus. Unfortunately, it hadn’t turned out quite as well as their parents had hoped it would. Ever since she had started at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Bellatrix had never gotten along with Sirius. The two of them hadn’t been the closest of cousins before then, anyway, but once she had come to think that she was better than everyone at school (except for the rest of the Pureblood families, that is), it just grew worse.
~*~
Outside the house, warm wind blew across the children’s faces and caused the ball that they were playing with to roll across the yard. It wasn’t very hot out, but after running around in the sun for hours on end, all three children had red and sweaty faces. For now, though, the children were sitting in the grass under a large oak tree that blocked the sun’s rays. They had been talking about the famous wizarding school, Hogwarts, and it had already started a heated argument between the two older children.
“There are so many filthy Mudbloods at the school, and I can’t believe I have to sit through classes with some of them,” Bellatrix complained to her two younger cousins. She raised her hand and wiped the sweat off of her brow.
“Why are they filthy, Bella?” young Regulus asked.
Bellatrix snorted. “Why aren’t they? The Mudbloods are the worst. They walk around like they’re all so special because they can go to a school to learn magic when other Muggles can’t, and the Half-Bloods... Well, they’re just as bad with that as the Mudbloods are!”
Sirius sighed in frustration. “Bella, just because we’re Purebloods doesn’t mean we have to act like we’re better than anyone else! Muggle-borns and Half-Bloods are just as powerful as Purebloods, and you’re just going to have to accept that.”
Bellatrix looked at Sirius, and she couldn’t help but laugh at the ignorant remark. What does he know? He’s not even old enough to go to Hogwarts yet. He’ll see when he gets there next year, she thought to herself.
“Sirius, you have got to be joking! Of course we’re better than them. Our family traces its bloodlines back to the Middle Ages; the Blacks have been pure for over seven centuries!” said Bellatrix, laughing.
Sirius’s face began to grow red again and he lifted himself to his feet. “Bella, you are so full of it, do you know that? It doesn’t matter how far we can trace our families, or how pure the blood is. Magic is magic. If the Half-Bloods and Muggle borns got into Hogwarts, then obviously, they deserve to be there!”
Bellatrix stood up in the attempt to use the advantage of her height to try and scare Sirius into backing down, but it didn’t work; her cousin didn’t have an inch of give in him. He continued to glare at her, and she huffed in frustration. She couldn’t believe that he was saying these things! Sirius was a Pureblood himself and he should believe in the same things she did. Bellatrix knew for a fact that his parents didn’t raise him to feel nicely about Muggles and Mudbloods. Not Uncle Orion and Aunt Walburga, she thought.
She withdrew her wand from her back pocket and pointed it in Sirius’s face. “Just wait until you get to Hogwarts next year, baby cousin, and you’ll see exactly what I am talking about. Trust me, you will learn to think the same way I, and the rest of our family, does.”
Regulus jumped up and forced himself between the pair.
“Guys, can you stop, please?” he asked. “Bella, put your wand away. You already know that you’re not allowed to use magic outside of school until next week! You’re not seventeen yet, and Sirius, please, you know how Bella is when it comes to things like this. Just please stop it. I don’t want to get into trouble with Mother and Father.”
Sirius glanced down at his younger brother, and though the action was slightly reluctant, he nodded his head. Regulus smiled and then looked up at his cousin.
Bellatrix’s reluctance was a lot more visible than Sirius’s, of course, but she agreed to Regulus’s plea all the same. She placed her wand back into her pocket and stomped off towards the house.
~*~
It had only been a half hour since the spell was put into place, but Sirius could tell that it was taking its toll on his father. Sirius himself wasn’t feeling half as bad, and he smiled when Orion sighed heavily next to him.
Regulus had gone back to his seat across from Sirius and his father, and he waited to see if the two would become closer “ or just outright refuse to talk to each other. Both of them are stubborn enough to do just that, he realised. Rubbing his eyes, Regulus put his head down to rest on top of his folded arms. In the beginning it had seemed like a good idea to place the charm on his brother and father, but now that it was taking a while, he was starting to have second thoughts about the whole plan.
“How long is this supposed to take?” Orion asked Sirius in a low, stern voice.
“As long as you make it,” Sirius replied, a slight smile beginning to spread across his face. He knew that his father was stubborn “ not that he denied being stubborn himself, but Sirius knew that Orion had that Black family trait far more than he did -- and that it could take a lot longer than anyone in the room thought for the two to become as close as they had once been.
There were times when Sirius and Regulus were still just children when they had been punished for things that weren’t nearly as horrible as their father had made them out to be. These punishments always lasted a long time, and Orion never backed down from the things that he said. If their father happened to be in one of his bad moods, the punishments would be even longer.
But eventually, the punishments would end and as soon as something good would happen, the two boys would be back outside playing on their toy broomsticks and wrestling in the grass.
Orion gave a heavy sigh once again and put his face in his hands. He began to think back to when he was close to Sirius, but he couldn’t come up with a way to get himself out of the mess he was in right then.
~*~
Orion stepped through the door to Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place and went straight to his study, slamming the door as he went. Sirius and Regulus had been in the living room playing when they’d seen their father come home. They glanced at each other when they heard the door slam, and Regulus decided it’d be best to clean up the mess before the two of them were punished. Sirius glared fiercely at his brother as Regulus attempted to put their toys away, and Sirius snatched the Chocolate Frog cards from his hands.
“Sirius, what are you doing? Father is home, and he’s in another bad mood. You remember what happened the last time,” Regulus stated, trying to take the cards away from his older brother.
“Yes, I do, and to be honest, I don’t care,” Sirius replied, lifting himself to his feet and walking towards the door. He glanced back at his brother and snorted. “I can’t believe you, Reg. You’re really going to clean everything up?”
Regulus nodded and continued cleaning the mess. Sirius sighed, shook his head, and left the room. His father was waiting for him in the hallway causing Sirius to jump back in shock, having expected Orion to still be in the study.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Orion growled, glaring down at his eldest son. “You better get back in there and help your brother.”
“Why should I? He’s almost done with it anyway,” Sirius said as he looked up at his father.
Orion narrowed his eyes and grabbed Sirius by the arm. He pulled his son into the living room and pushed him towards Regulus. He then took the toys Regulus had in his hands, threw them on the floor, and glared back at Sirius.
“Now, I want you to clean up this mess, and then, when you’re finished, I want you in your room until I say you can come out,” Orion said, his voice calm yet still forceful.
Sirius glared at his father, but he knew that face, had been talked to in that voice before. Arguing was pointless. Blood boiling and his face red with anger, Sirius knelt on the floor in front of his father and began to pick up the toys.
~*~
Sighing, Orion ran his hands over his face. The memory had opened his eyes to how he truly was as a father. He knew he had to be tough, had to be stern, but to be cruel? That was another thing in itself. He had wanted his sons to respect him, not be completely afraid of him.
Orion knew that fear hadn’t been his eldest’s problem; Sirius had been far from being afraid of him. But Regulus, Orion was coming to realise, had been a different story. All of the things Sirius had said about Regulus and how he’d treated his younger child had been true. Never once had he told Regulus that he was proud of him for the things he had accomplished, and never once had he attempted to see things from his son’s point of view.
Deep down, Orion Black slowly started to accept that fact. He had slowly started to see that Sirius had been right in everything the other wizard had said … and that Orion was in the wrong. And yet, Orion could not bring himself to admit that.
He knew, therefore, that the spell was going to take a fairly long time to be finished. Stubbornness and pride were easily two of the strongest traits that ran in the Black family; every one of them had a level of both, and Orion was no different. He was too stubborn to admit that he was wrong, and he was too proud to apologise to his own sons.
End Notes:
So, what do you think? Horrible? Great? Amazing? Review? Please? =P Thank you for reading!
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.