Chapter One
Curiosity Killed The Cat

I could feel eyes staring into the back of my head. I finished cutting the last piece of the sopophorous bean I was working with before glancing over my shoulder. Not a single person was looking my way, most focused on their cauldrons, instructions or ingredients.

Steam rose from every station where several students each were furiously at work over their attempt at the Draught of Living Death. I searched each face, finding only a few others who were paying attention to someone else’s work instead of his or her own. I had known all of these students for seven years now and yet, I couldn’t figure out whether the staring eyes I had felt were my imagination or someone’s mind wandering or �“


“Mr. Tonks!” The professor’s voice paused deliberately as I jumped and nearly dropped the shriveled bean. “Stop daydreaming and get back to work, my boy.”


I apologized and turned back to the table. As I bent back over my half-finished Draught of Living Death, my eyes caught a Slytherin girl’s. Immediately her face twisted into a haughty, smug expression but not before I had seen the amused curl of her lips. The smile that slipped onto my lips was irrepressible and I began humming to myself as I added the bean to the potion.


N.E.W.T level potions was not my favorite class but I did enjoy watching the changes each step created. The warm dungeon room was not as filled with students as the younger year classes generally were but still seemed to be a comfortably sized class. There were people from each house; four Slytherins, two Hufflepuffs (one being me), four Gryffindors and five Ravenclaws. As there had been for years, there was animosity between some of the houses, such as the infamous Slytherin versus Gryffindor rivalry.


The four Gryffindors were on one side of the dungeon and the Slytherins on the other. The rest of us had spread out through the space, taking up whole tables by ourselves when generally we shared with four students at each. The Slytherins had taken up two, one of them being close to me. They were the closest group to me and one where presided the witch who had met my eyes earlier.


As the time to slave over our potions came close to being over, I found it increasingly difficult to work on mine. I had only a few more things to do and yet, I found my eyes glancing sideways at the girl, curiosity getting the best of me. Why had she been staring at me? Why’d she hide the smile? Just as I finished stirring the lilac colored potion, Professor Slughorn pronounced that our time was up. My potion was still losing what color it had as he glanced at it.


“Not bad, my boy, not bad. Perhaps better concentration next time will get you one as well as Miss Black here.” The well-rounded man motioned to the girl who had stirred my curiosity so well and gave a good-hearted chuckle as her pale cheeks became tinted with the slightest bit of pink. “Well done, Miss Black, once again.”


Andromeda Black’s blush was as faint and fleeting as the English sun but I flashed a grin at her anyways. Her eyes grew wide before her face closed up in a look of arrogance. It was better than a sneer and some kind of scathing comment about my ancestry. I accepted her look and bent to cleaning up my mess.


In typical fashion of me, my things were scattered all over the table, drops of sopophorous bean juice on the pages of my potions book. Messy as always. I took my time cleaning up, taking care of the potion first before beginning to gather up my stuff. I tried to clean the juice off the pages of my book but gave up, deciding it gave the book a homely feel. I had never gotten the hang of cleaning spells. Perhaps, if I had, I wouldn’t be so messy. One of my classmates left the trail to the door, wandering over and I smiled in greeting.


“Why couldn’t you have just kept all your books in your bag? What do you need Common Apparition Mistakes and How to Avoid Them and Theories of Transubstantial Transfiguration in Potions for?” Her voice was teasing as she neatened up my stacks of parchments and placed the books back in my bag.


I laughed at her and replaced my leftover ingredients back in their jars. “For the same reason everyone else does; to turn overcurious Hufflepuff girls into toads and Apparate them to some faraway place like Transylvania.”


She giggled and rolled her eyes at me, picking my bag off the table for me before handing it over. “A’course. How could I have forgotten?”


I shrugged at her, accepting the strap and placing it on my shoulder. We wove through the tables towards the door together as I listened to her latest tale about her romantic life.


Aveline Levon was a pretty girl of Scottish descent. Her fair looks and tall, curvaceous figure brought to mind the pictures of stunning Viking women I remember seeing somewhere back in primary school. At least, it did for me. We had been told we made an attractive pair, both of us being tall, blonde and well muscled. However, we had and would always only be best friends. I was positive that she didn’t see me as anything more than a brother of sorts.


Her soft Scottish accent and quiet frustration allowed my mind to drift and I turned once again to Potions class. Never before had a class ever interested me so much. I was used to the occasional stare and eye up by the girls (I’m not vain, I just happen to know that I’m good looking) but Slytherins did not often lower their selves to even look at a “Mudblood”. Just as I was used to the looks, I was used to the jeers and calls from the Slytherins. I would have expected a negative comment and ugly look much more than I had the sense of camaraderie I felt with her. It was just odd.


“LOOK! There he is! Oh, I wish I could get his attention somehow…” Aveline’s voice had changed to a sharp whisper in my ear as she grabbed my shoulder and clung with surprising strength. It startled me, causing me to stumble over my own feet as we left the dungeon stairway. My moment of unbalance had incited a snicker from a pair of Slytherin girls behind us and I looked back at them.


Now it was my turn to blush as I saw that it was Andromeda Black with one of her friends. My stumbling had also alerted Aveline to the fact that my attention was not on her. She followed my gaze and saw the blush just as the pair passed us. Apparently, she was not the only one to see for Andromeda Black burst into a wide, patronizing smile as she leaned closer to her friend. Her friend’s laughter burst from her lips as they made their way up another flight of stairs.


My face only burned hotter and I ducked it to keep Aveline from seeing. I couldn’t understand why such a thing had embarrassed me so easily. Generally, I just laughed off my clumsiness and flashed a beaming smile at those who chose to be rude. It was baffling and apparently Aveline thought so too. Her monologue about the tall, handsome Ravenclaw she liked had been cut short as her brow furrowed into her “thinking cap” expression, as I liked to call it.


All through lunch both of us were silent, lost in his or her meditation. Her expression had not changed once and she still seemed just as baffled as ever. I had spent the better part of lunch scribbling down last minute notes to add as I rewrote my essay for Transfiguration. My mind had been thoroughly distracted from Potions class and all the mysteries that was a certain Slytherin girl. Aveline did not seem to have such luck. Finally, she could hold it in no longer and turned on me.


“Ted, can I ask you a question?”


I could tell she was unsure about it. Hufflepuffs are known for our patience but when our patience wore thin, we almost always felt ill at ease sometime later. I nodded, adding another side note to a certain paragraph on the parchment before me.


“Ted? What happened back there?”


Glancing up at her, I blinked. “Nothing at all.” I could see the disbelief in her eyes as she opened her mouth to protest. I didn’t know what to tell her. How does one explain about staring and the odd looks without sounding a little mental? I had nothing concrete to explain. Just vague wonderings about it all. I also didn’t want Aveline to get the idea that I liked the Slytherin. I didn’t really. I had never spoken to her in my life. I looked at and my friend and shook my head. What could I tell her? It all bloody mental and I was resolved to put it as far from my mind as I could.

The blonde beside me sighed and accepted my refusal to explain. People were slowly filing out of the Great Hall and I realized that we were due for our next class soon. I stuffed one more bite of pudding in my mouth and rose from the table, taking my time as always. We still had plenty of time to make down to the Herbology greenhouses. Aveline rose as well, grabbing her bag before throwing me a look of mild panic.


“Ted, I left my book in the dormitories. Do you mind if I run down to the common room and meet you at the greenhouses?”


I knew how much Aveline liked order and organization and could hear the frustrated annoyance in her voice. I nodded and waved her off, watching as she left the Great Hall at a fast pace. Smiling at my friend, I threw my marked up essay in my bag haphazardly and swung the strap over my shoulder.


I was shifting my robes when I noticed a drop of pudding on the Hufflepuff emblem. Of course I had food on me. As my grandmother always said whenever we pointed out food on her shirts, ‘I was just saving it for later’. A wide smile crossed my face as I thought about that old woman. I had loved to go over to my grandmother’s as a child.


Pulling out my wand as I began walking, I flicked the piece of rowan wood and watched happily as the pudding was siphoned off. I was really getting the hang of these nonverbal spells we were supposed to be using all the time now. Hours of practicing with Aveline must have done the trick.


I shrugged to myself and headed out to the grounds, enjoying the crisp smell of late autumn/early winter air. A lot of the trees were already leafless, those with leaves still in bright vibrant colors or a mucky shade of brown. As much as I love the cold though, I was slightly chilled in the mild wind that was blowing across the grass. I began looking through my bag for my gloves or a hat or really anything I could use or transfigure.


“Aha!” I had found something alright. I yanked my scarf out of my bag and shook my head at myself as a book plopped to the ground as well as several rolls of parchment and some quills. In typical fashion, the stuff that could went rolling away from me, making the process of picking it all up quickly rather hard to do. I let my bag drop from my shoulder and was trying to stuff my book back into my bag when I heard voices coming near.


I glanced up to see quite a few of my classmates headed down to the greenhouses, although Aveline was not in the group. I was watching them come nearer when I spotted a pair of familiar eyes and an equally familiar amused smirk. My eyes flew back down to the ground as the voices became discernable and I could hear actual words. The same friend from earlier was going on about something a fellow Slytherin had said that she thought was especially funny when I heard another female voice interrupt.


“Noreen, I think I dropped my pin. I’ve got to look for it.”


The annoyance was understated but I heard it clearly underneath the words. Her friend did not seem to notice the annoyance before waving her friend off and continuing with the two Slytherin boys listening eagerly to her story.


I glanced up at the retreating group to see one of the boys looking back, a tall, black haired youth. I avoided eye contact and went back to gathering my things when a pale hand shot out and grabbed the roll of parchment I had been going for. Pulling my hand back, I looked up into the eyes of Andromeda Black.


It startled me, how close she was and I’m sad to say that I jerked back from her only to fall back on my butt. A reluctant smile flew to my lips as she giggled and drew out her wand. I could smell her shampoo or perfume or whatever it was, she was that close. I blinked, wondering if I was dreaming or seeing things. However, the slender, brown haired girl was still there. Without a sound, she had gathered all my things into her hands and easily neatened my bag for me. I looked up into her eyes and smiled, pleased to see the expression returned. She had a beautiful smile.


“Ted!” I jumped again and glanced up, feeling the blood rush to my cheeks. It was Aveline and I couldn’t figure out why I was blushing yet again. It wasn’t like she had caught us kissing or flirting shamelessly, though she had done that to me on more than one occasion before with other girls. Both Andromeda and I rose to our feet as I accepted my bag back from her. As Aveline ran toward us, I turned to Andromeda Black and handed her something I had spotted on the ground.


“Is this your pin? And thank you.”


Surprise and pleasure flashed across her face as she took the tiny glass star pin I had found. “It is. Thank you and you’re welcome.”


She flashed me a bright, fleeting smile before walking off toward the greenhouses. For some reason, I felt proud and irrationally pleased about the whole thing. I was still staring after her, watching as her head bent over her hands against her robe. I was still staring in that direction long after she had become just a black figure against the greenhouses along with eight or so others. Aveline’s hand on my shoulder alerted me to her presence but I couldn’t yet tear my eyes from the greenhouses.


When she spoke up, I had to laugh at the dryness of her tone. “Now that was something.”


We walked up to the greenhouses just as they were opened for us to enter. Slowly, we all filed into the one being used for our class when I felt another hand on my shoulder. It was far too heavy to be Aveline’s small hand and the grip was rough, jerking me to a stop. I looked over my shoulder to find the same dark-haired Slytherin from earlier regarding me with barely contained fury in his eyes. I pulled my shoulder out of his grip, noticing as I did that we were the same height. However, his body was slim and aristocratic while mine was built from having both Quidditch practice and a naturally large bone structure. I stared at him, eyebrow raised.


“Leave Andromeda alone. What would she want with the likes of you, Mudblood?”

Chapter Two
Curiosity Killed The Cat

I tried not to look back at the boy who I could feel watching me. The temptation was there. There was just something in his open, seemingly constant good humor that drew my attention like a moth to a flame. I wouldn’t turn, though. I was a member of an ancient and noble family, raised not to associate with persons of "inferior blood." If my parents learned that I had talked to Ted Tonks, they would punish me. I didn’t want to think about it. A Howler or two, a not so empty threat, no Hogsmeade; all were punishments I wouldn’t put above my parents.

I was doing rather well in making my mind go blank when a movement caught my eye. I looked back, and almost wished I hadn't. A Slytherin was confronting the friendly Hufflepuff. It was Raphael Ferox.

Growing up in a family like mine, a child learns early on that there is no love gone to waste, no excess amounts of laughter. Sure, there was laughter within the household. There’s the polite simpering laugh of someone kissing up to a person of power, the surprised giggle from someone flirting with someone he or she shouldn’t, the malevolent chuckle of someone making a threat. We were taught to amuse ourselves.

Raphael and I grew up together. Our families were close, socializing constantly. Without a doubt, I loved him when I was young. He was the one who patched up all cuts and scrapes, chased away all creepy creatures in the dark, quieted my tears and produced a vibrant smile for the adults. We spent countless hours together, and when we were apart, our owls were kept busy with notes back and forth.

The introduction into the school was strange, exciting, and just tiny bit scary. I clung to Raphael as my lifeboat in the storm of it all. I felt fearful and unsure of myself in the new surroundings. He made me feel less scared. Little by little, Raphael and I went our separate ways: we were still pretty close, just not as clingy as we were those beginning months of school. Raphael seemed to make his friends with the older, more daring students in Slytherin. I myself befriended anyone who grabbed my attention, regardless of house politics or ancestry�”until Bella put a stop to it.

At first, it was threats to tell our parents. She called me a “blood-traitor”. I swore I wasn’t, but I wasn’t that worried. What could they do to me from all the way across the country? I was confident in myself, proud of my achievements and was sure they’d take my side. My continued defiance and confidence earned the punishment of hexes. It was “what I deserved” according to Bella. I took the abuse, but then she went after my friends.

I cried bitter tears when my friends wouldn’t talk to me.

Raphael was at my side, soothing away my anger and calmly telling me that Bella was right. I was above “Mudbloods” and spending my time with them. I belonged with him, at his side. Those had been magic words. I was more than willing to be there at his side, proclaimed to be his girl.

Through the years, being Raphael’s girl felt more like a sentence than a blessing. In fifth year, I should have cut the ties after the time he had nearly assaulted me in his eagerness for a kiss: his friends had been digging into him about that fact that we hadn’t kissed yet. His temper had proved to be far different than the one I had known as a child. It had frightened me and chased away almost all of what affections I had left for him.

Things hadn't changed much since then, other than his aggression becoming more pronounced. As my attempts to distance myself from him grew a bit wild, he had clung on tighter. Raphael fell into jealous rages if I so much as met another lad’s eyes.

It had become so much worse in the last two years, since my sister had left Hogwarts. I was no longer under her control, her quiet and soft threats of what she’d do if I should abandon our upbringing and accept a way of life our family looked down upon. I had rebelled a little since she had left, leaving behind the more self-righteous and manipulative of my ‘friends’. Raphael had been one of the few I could not shake. He had applied for many of the same classes as me, and I was sure it was just to keep an eye on me. His cautious, clinging watch was no different in my Herbology class…

Thud.

The noise of my bag as I slung it on the table earned me with a disapproving glare from Noreen, one of my last few Slytherin friends. I shrugged at her and settled on to the stool at the table when a movement caught my eye. I turned to see a familiar look on Raphael’s face as his hand claimed a claw-like grip on the other boy’s shoulder. It was one I had received on more than one occasion when I had refused the advances of the handsome Slytherin.

I stared at him, knowing the blood that rushed to my face did not spread prettily over my cheeks but became bright blotches of color. Anger spread through me as I regarded the pair at the door. It seemed as if Raphael had cornered Ted Tonks because of my willingness to help him pick up his stuff. I could not see the blond Hufflepuff’s face, but I could read the tension in his body at the way his shoulders jerked away from Raphael’s touch. Ignoring what Noreen had begun to say, I rose off my stool and walked as calmly as I could to the pair.

No one else had seemed to notice them except Aveline Levon, who seemed to be close to him. Her brow was furrowed in confusion, but I didn’t give her much thought. My entire focus was on trying to catch the words that slipped from Raphael’s lips. I knew I was too late as I heard the deep voice of Ted Tonks.

His voice was calm and neutral. “I’m much more curious as to what she’d want with the likes of you.”

With that, the athletic Ted turned on his heel and strode over to his friend, not even noticing as I hurried to get out of his way. I whirled towards my very jealous childhood hero, animosity once again making my cheeks feel hot. Brushing the hair out of my face, I opened my mouth to berate him for his childish actions. I never got the chance. Just as the words were about to leave my lips, the professor announced that class was beginning and if we would all please sit at our desks, she would pass out the plants we’d be working with for the day. Shooting my smug companion a vicious glare, I stormed back to my stool and pulled out the supplies we needed as the professor listed them.

All through the lesson, I threw my focus into the work, barely listening to my friend’s constant chatter. The only sign that I was paying attention was a well placed ‘mmm’ or ‘oh really’ every so often. Because of my dedication to my work, I was one of the first to finish preparing the plant for use in the potions classes. Left sitting there with nothing to do, thoughts flying through my mind and still fuming at Raphael’s rash actions, I let my eyes wander the greenhouse. Only a few others were finishing up. I had no interest in them. My eyes were riveted to the head of messy blond hair bent over a plant, his friend leaning towards him as if listening.

I felt the oddest sense of curiosity towards him, and the urge to get to know him. Somewhere in my being, I felt as if I already knew him, but that was impossible. I had kept to myself and done what was considered to be my duty for years now. He wouldn’t have fallen into that category of acceptable friends for the daughter of a pure-blood family. There was just something about him… but my brain was not quite was brave as my heart was, no matter how curious I felt. I was not willing to risk anything to have Raphael corner me or to receive a lecture from Narcissa or a Howler from Aunt Walburga, who felt it was her place to keep all of her relatives in line.

My head went strangely blank when he glanced up, his expression one of frustration. It melted when he saw me looking and I knew I was too late to glance away like before. My lips curled up in the smallest of smiles before I looked down at my hands. He probably thought I was messing with him, throwing his heritage back into his face by using a boyfriend to threaten him. Maybe he thought I was mocking him. He could be thinking a lot of unkind things about me because of my easily jealous companion.

I didn't know what to call Raphael anymore, but he was definitely not my boyfriend. He wasn’t my friend either. Yet, we were forced together on so many occasions, I knew that more than one person at Hogwarts thought we were going together.

Raphael wanted to go with me, but it wasn’t because he loved me. It was because of the power he would get from our marriage, the advantages. He’d be a sure in with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, being part of two ancient pure-blood families.

I shot a glance at Raphael to find him watching me, like a hawk watching a fish in the water. He was ready for me to dart away and just as ready to snatch me up before I got a chance to even think about escape. I gave him my most haughty, proud, outraged sneer, and refused to turn his way again. I had just gotten rid of one controlling, arrogant, unstable pureblood fanatic and I was not about to fall under the control of another. I refused to. Narcissa was far gone, too drawn into the attraction power held for her. I wasn’t like them. It wasn’t power I aspired to; it was happiness. I had seen far too much unhappiness and suffering in my family due to their beliefs.

My eyes flew back to Ted, and I watched him with my head bowed. He seemed to be someone who knew about happiness. His ancestry had not affected that. Rather, he was much happier looking than any of the purebloods I knew had ever seemed. Even angry, with his brow furrowed and his lips drawn down, it seemed as if one could get him to laugh quite easily, with the right… Proving my point, his pretty blonde friend said something to which the Hufflepuff’s face crinkled as a deep, rich, infectious laugh burst through his lips. I even felt my own lips curl up in response, realizing as I shifted my face back into neutral expression that had I been closer and part of the conversation, I would have laughed too.

I wondered how it felt to feel so completely in tune with oneself, not held back by anyone at all. Was being carefree and happy the cause of the spring in his step, and the easy going smile that he was more than willing to share with the world? I was always tense, as if just around the corner there would be someone lurking to drag my spirits down or tear me apart for the smallest thing. If I was honest with myself, there generally was. There was no slack cut for the pure-blooded Slytherins, especially those as tied into the heart of all families as I was. Repression. Tension. Worry. It was a wonder I wasn’t already prematurely grey and more wrinkled than my mother.

I clung to the hope that after Hogwarts I would have the chance to do whatever my heart desired. There was only a very small chance of that, but I was keeping my eye on it. For every bit of repression that lifted, there was something still holding me back in the form of my fellow Slytherins who were more than willing to take me down for the smallest toe out of line. Appearances must be kept of perfection and haughty grandeur; a girl who chose to abandon that and befriend “Mudbloods” must be put back in place.

Lost in my mental wanderings, I had failed to notice that nearly everyone was done. The quiet voices of my classmates didn't register, nor had I realized that I was staring at Ted Tonks. At least, I hadn’t until when the professor’s gentle voice broke through my walls and pulled my mind back to earth.

Her kind words and praise over my work caught me off guard. I flashed a vibrant, beaming smile in response. She seemed a little surprised, yet the older woman returned my smile and continued on her journey through the tables, inspecting each person’s work in turn.

I felt the biggest urge to do something, but I wasn’t sure what would give me the most happiness. Should I apologize to the Hufflepuff? It probably should really be Raphael apologizing, but I was well aware that the prospect of that happening was undoubtedly low. No matter what kind or amount of pleading and cajoling, he wouldn’t do it. I wouldn’t waste my breath and pride over trying to get him to do it. Or, I could always confront Raphael and tell him to stop being the world’s biggest prick, I wasn’t his girl and he wasn’t to threaten random lads just because I was nice to them. My lips curled up in a scheming grin as I thought about it. It sounded like a rather nice plan to me. It sounded like a good way to rebuke his actions, to prove my own independence and my own ability to take care of myself. With all these people hovering over me, it was as if no one thought I could handle my own life.

Casting my gaze over my shoulder, I caught the eyes of Raphael and smiled at him sweetly. His returning smile sent both a shudder down my spine and a spasm through my heart. Despite it all, I still did love him in my own way. It’s like I’ve read: once you love someone, that person will forever be in your heart. My smile grew wider in response and I mouthed for him to stay behind once we were allowed to leave. His quick nod and the twinkle in his eye awoke apprehensions in my mind. It would have been nice to have a little planning, but I was a clever girl. I could simply say what I had to say and be done with it. I could just turn on my heel and go up to the castle… make that disappear into the castle. Fear fluttered in my stomach on the wings of butterflies, but I ignored it. I was done being intimidated.

Chapter Three:
Damsels in Distress and Knights-In-Shining-Armor

Class was winding towards an end. Before I had done much more than respond to Aveline's whispered "pay attention" by grabbing my Herbology book, the class was pronounced over. Smiling smugly to myself, I opened my bag to slip my book inside. The space within was such a neater, clutter free space that it shocked me. I felt a sudden, completely random and illogical rush of affection for Andromeda Black. It almost made me think to react to it. Maybe placing my hands over my heart and sighing would suffice. Or going out of my way to make my affections known like writing her a silly little note or singing a song for her or…


The unforeseen turn my thoughts had taken set off alarm bells in my head. I shook my head to clear the thoughts and blinked in the after affects. Dizziness was overwhelming as the room spun a bit. I had no idea what that had been about and it had been most irrational and unlike me. Her acts of kindness were not that big nor had they left that big of an impression on me.


Rather it was she herself who had left an imprint on my psyche. The enigma of a pureblood Slytherin’s unexpected acts of kindness to someone with an unsatisfactory bloodline was mystifying. Perhaps there really was more than meets the eye… It was remarkable that I was only just discovering this about people. My mother would have been ashamed of me as she still thought that I knew better than that.


I had developed a bit of a theory about people after a few years of going to Hogwarts. There were certain kinds of people. Generally, people tended to keep within the usual behaviorisms of their category. However, every so often, someone would shed their layers and prove their placement was wrong or just simply prove to be too hard to categorize. It was just my younger mind trying to wrap around the intricacies of human nature.


The surprising thing was that I kept to it through the years because it proved to be fairly reliable. Andromeda Black had originally been placed in a category with most of the Slytherins, the people who favored status and power above all else. They were the kind of people who’d step on anyone to get to the top, even if it meant taking out family. Of course though, they’d make it resemble something completely benign and innocent to keep up their unblemished reputations. Her younger sister and Lucius Malfoy definitely seemed fit this category to a tee. They’d be the perfect couple.


Andromeda seemed to be shedding her layers to show was really beneath the hauteur, the self-importance, the “I’m better than everyone” countenance. Maybe she was a genuinely caring and kind person. Perhaps she was honest even and only hoping for the best. I hadn’t really paid her any attention to her last year but I suppose she had been a little different then too. Changes like that just don’t happen overnight. Perhaps it was because her sister left Hogwarts. Bellatrix Black could no longer be a widespread horror to those within the school grounds.


I had been on the verge on changing my opinion of her when her boyfriend had assaulted, harassed and threatened me. I suppose she put him up to it. She thought I was stalking her or something along those lines. It was unreal, how angry Raphael Ferox’s words had made me. I’m typically not a violent person at all but it took a lot of self control not to punch him in his pretty boy face. Where did he get off thinking that he had a right to do that? It wasn’t my fault she had decided to return my smiles or that she had helped me pick up my belongings outside. I hadn’t forced her to do anything. The cunning Slytherin certainly gave off the air of a person used to being in control at all times. He was probably in control of not only himself but his friends and his girls… Or perhaps I should just say girl.


Bitter, enraged thoughts had run through my head during most of the lesson as I told the story to Aveline with biting side remarks as to the characters involved. I felt keyed up, tense. I was wishing I could leave the humid greenhouse, hop on my broom and just take off for a fast flight around the grounds. The frigid air had the fresh smell of snow. It surely would cool off my unusual amount of vexation. Needless to say, my work suffered. Aveline eventually took my plant from me and did the work herself, along with her own. She was best at Herbology. I just sat there and attempted to look like I was doing something while I ranted to my best friend. It relieved me to see that she listened patiently. She never did fly off the broom handle about things. Her collected calm slowly rubbed off on me as I talked. It was almost the same effect that I knew flying on my broom would have had.


I was really getting into the telling of the tale when I felt an odd sensation. My head tingled, almost feeling itchy. I scratched it absently before recognizing the familiar sense. It was like I was being watched again. My eyes flew up from their contemplation of my fingers to find Andromeda Black watching me with inscrutable hazel eyes.


The irritation I initially felt melted as I observed her ill humor. Her small smile in my direction seemed shy and unsure, not smug like I had expected. My face went vacant as confusion flooded my mind. She would surely have been happy if she had wanted her boyfriend to confront me. Maybe even smug that it had worked out so well. I watched her myself a while longer.


My eyes roamed over her face, taking in the aristocratic straight nose, the wide caramel colored eyes. Her thick dark hair contrasted with the pale skin it was set against. Her facial features weren’t as long and pointed as Narcissa’s or as dark and heavy seeming as Bellatrix’s face. The face of Andromeda Black seemed to possess a hidden softness that neither of her sisters had. Distracted as I was by studying her, I shrugged at the nudge my friend sent my way. I paused, reluctant to pull my eyes away. I only just saw her throw a rather nasty look at her boyfriend. Was he even her boyfriend? I honestly didn’t know. They had always been together as far as my memory of the pair went.


More confused now than annoyed, I looked down at my hands. My rough, calloused fingers traced along the grooves in the wooden table absently. I was refusing to let myself think about the situation and source of my inner turmoil. Thankfully, Aveline leaned over and interrupted my Andromeda-less thoughts.


“Since you take forever getting your stuff together, shall I just meet you for dinner later?”


I hadn’t been given much of a chance to do any of my work but it seemed as if my things were strewn all over the place more than usual. I guess in my anger that I had pulled nearly every out of my bag. Books and papers and quills were placed at random around our station. Sighing at myself, I almost wished that when angry, I was an organizer. Instead, my organizational skills were almost non-existent. Saying goodbye, I waved her off and began trying to gain order of my things. Professor Meidren merely shook her head at me and walked away, knowing I’d be a while. Finally, I gathered the objects into like piles and began cramming the things back into the bag. The earlier neatness of the bag was soon impossible to tell as habitual messiness struck once more.


Almost done, I glanced around the greenhouse and noticed I wasn’t the only one left. The raised voices of the pair in the corner had completely escaped my notice. It was Ferox and who I suspected to be Andromeda Black. Her usually neat hair was messed up, her robes almost falling off one shoulder. It either looked like a lover’s kiss gone amiss or someone had gotten a little rough with the slender girl.


I was alarmed, but reluctant to get involved. I was a peaceful person. However, I lacked the skills that were useful in creating peace. The few arguments I had gotten involved in, neither of those involved appreciated my efforts. It was better off to just leave them to it. Quietly, I bent my head over my bag. I took out a few of the messier parchments and placed them neatly inside book covers. I took longer than was necessary. I was hoping that they’d finish and leave before I got up.


Finally, I could delay no more and rose slowly from my chair. Their heated voices and the dark murderous look on Ferox’s face made me nervous. I knew from experience that when upset, Slytherins didn’t always play by the rules, even with each other. I lengthened my steps, still hoping they’d leave. However, as I drew within a few feet of them, their raised voices became discernable.


“Growing up together? How could I forget? You were my hero. My idol. How naïve I had been back then.” Derision almost dripped from the normally polished voice of Andromeda. Frustration and irritation had blackened her expression so that bright spots of color blotched on her cheeks and her usually light brown eyes were almost black.


Her companion’s face looked stung as her words hit him and his own dark countenance grew even darker still. “You didn’t seem to mind that in the past.” His tone of voice brooked no argument.


She responded to it all the same with her voice rising almost hysterically. “Of course I didn’t! I didn’t know who you were becoming. I didn’t know the monster that hid inside of you.”


“Your sisters seem to think you’re losing your mind. They think I’m perfect for you.”


“Oh, then why don’t you date them?!”


Ferox stared at her, his jaw clenched tightly. I could see a muscle twitching in his neck from the tension and I took an involuntary step back. He seemed to take his time responding. He spoke, uttering in a slightly calmer voice, “You know it’s you that I want.”


“You can’t have me Raphael. I am not your girl. I may have been in the past but this girl is no longer going along with the game. You’ve ruined it for yourself. I’ve changed… I don’t want you.”


Andromeda took her own time before replying. Her management of calm anger made me envious. The last few words she said were said with such fervent passion, I couldn’t possibly think them untruthful. I was frozen in place, eyes roaming back and forth. Raphael’s look grew even darker, if that was possible. Next thing I knew, Andromeda was reeling back from him, hand held to her cheek and a look of shock upon her face. Her mouth was open in a small circular ‘O’ shape. His own seemed rather surprised, his hand still raised. Without a second thought, I dropped my bag and launched a fist into his perfect face. I had no respect for those who hit women or girls and I wasn’t about to let him get away with it.


I bent calmly to pick up my bag, almost smiling. I felt much better about the whole thing. I settled the strap on my shoulder carefully, took Andromeda’s hand and led her out of the greenhouse. The professor could take care of him.


I led her away from the school and the greenhouses, close to the edge of the lake before I turned towards her. She seemed to be in a bit of shock. Her expression hardly changed except for a closed mouth. Gently, I pried her hand away from her face, starting at the vivid, almost purple colored handprint against the side of her face. A small cut was visible under her eye. He must have had a ring on for that to happen. Anger flooded through me once more and I wished I had stayed to finish him off.


“Andromeda, are you okay?”


Obviously this was a silly question. Surely, she wasn’t okay after being hit by someone she seemed to have known her whole life. Nevertheless, she looked at me, blinking her wide doe-like eyes at me before I could see them focusing on my face. Still, I got no reply. Well, it was better than nothing. She was focusing on me.


“I’ll transfigure an icepack for you but then we’re going to Madame Pomfrey. I don’t trust myself with healing you.”


She nodded slowly. Pleasure went through me when I saw a faint curl to her lips. It was still better than nothing. I was rather good at healing charms but I had yet to do them on anyone but myself. I was reluctant to try. What if I turned her nose green or something? I dug through my bag and produced an empty inkwell. It was one of my nice ones…


I looked at the appealing girl next to me, my mind making its decision. It’d do just fine for transfiguring. I could always transfigure it back. I pulled my wand out of my robe pocket and waved it vaguely at the inkwell. Coldness hit my hand as the black pot changed into the desired icepack. Not bad, Tonks, not bad at all. I handed it to her with a flourish and was pleased to see her eyes had returned to normal as she took the pack from me. Gingerly, she placed it against the mark, hiding the worst of it.


“Alright, time to go. It’s freezing out here," I said, taking her free hand without thinking. I enjoyed the warmth of it in the cold wind. I watched her as I led her to the castle. Thankful for once, I praised the free period I had been given. I wouldn’t have been there to rescue her otherwise.


She seemed to be coming back to herself. I checked quickly to see if she had her bag. Relief flooded through me to see the strap on her shoulder and the bag thumping against her hip lightly. In my observations, I saw the pretty little star pin attached to the front of her robes. I felt a small stirring of smugness over the fact that I had found it for her. Curious, I looked at her face to see her watching me too with an amused smile. I pointed at the star with my free hand. I felt the need to ask about it.


“That’s pretty. Did someone give it to you?”


“Thank you. Yes, my little cousin Sirius did for Christmas. Spent all his pocket money on it too.”


I grinned at her charming look. “He must mean a lot to you.”


She looked down at the pin. “He’s quite possibly one of the best people in my family…”


The sad, fond tone alerted me to a fragile subject and I merely nodded in response. I didn’t feel comfortable enough to risk a joke about it. “And thank you. For rescuing me, I mean.”


I flashed what I hoped was a winning smile at her and shrugged. “That’s me, the knight-in-shining armor, here to rescue the beautiful damsel in distress. With hopes of a kiss as a reward, of course.”

Chapter Four:
Peeves is a Peeve

The shock was overwhelming. Ted’s quiet words were a bombshell as my feet came to a grating halt. It was like I was incapable of moving. He stared at me, his dark blue eyes bright. A kiss? But I didn’t even know him! I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. My thoughts flew off the handle as I realized my body was leaning towards his unconsciously. I jerked my shoulders back, settling my body into the position of perfect posture that it was so used to. My eyes didn’t leave his the entire time; instead, they merely grew wider with each realization.

Surely, he couldn’t think I was a slut. I had never thrown myself at guys shamelessly. I had never flirted around and led guys on. I’m sure the boys at school rather wished I would do it a bit more. Raphael was most likely the one wishing the hardest.

I wasn’t the most experienced with guys. I didn’t have the natural charisma and charm that drew them to me. I wasn’t stunningly beautiful like Narcissa. There had been a few guys but not many bothered with me. I’m sure Raphael had something to do with that. His claim was beyond dispute. No matter how much I wished it was, it was irrefutable.

Slytherin girls did not seem to enjoy that fact very much. When I had been forced to endure his presence, girls sighed at his touches, sent me envious glares at the way his arm wrapped around my waist. What they didn’t know was that tight embrace had left its fair share of bruises. I’d be more than willing to pass him along to someone else.

As for the guys, those I had managed to lure my way were always scared away. Bella, Raphael and Cissy all saw to that. There had been a few stolen kisses behind the bookshelves in the library; a few coveted meetings in Hogsmeade had made the flings seem more concrete. The most public thing I had ever really done with the other guy was an occasional brush by in the hallways or sometimes, even holding hands. It hadn’t ever gone much farther than that.

But I didn’t want that anymore. It was enough to have friends beyond Raphael’s control. Maybe that was why I had flung myself so far away from what was held proper. Maybe that was why I had subconsciously chosen Ted Tonks.

My eyes refocused on Ted, the sight of his now grinning face taking a while to sink in. Wait. He was smiling. His eyes were twinkling like Professor Dumbledore’s eyes. Was this a joke?

“I’m only joking, Andromeda,” he said, his voice shaking with barely suppressed laughter.

Of course. He was joking. The relief flowed through my veins, and I relaxed. I offered a weak smile, feeling a bit of hysteria build inside of me. Squashing it down, I gave a little giggle to appease the slightly disappointed look on his face. Surprisingly, the laughter felt good.

His grin flashed again and his laughter reverberated from his chest. I couldn’t help it; his good cheer was contagious. My answering burst of laughter and smile seemed to cheer him up. It was astonishing how easy it was to react to him. Maybe this easiness was what it felt like to be carefree…

My mind had drifted off into dreamy oblivion when I felt a faint tug on my arm and a light squeeze around my fingers. Eyes drifting back to the Hufflepuff, I knew my smile was quixotic.

“Is it time to go already?” I asked regretfully. I didn’t want to return to the school, to face the other Slytherins and see their minds calculating ways to figure out what happened.

“It is.” His answer seemed to have a faint trace of sadness in it too.

Meeting his eyes, I sighed and nodded. “Let’s go then.”

We turned together towards the castle, walking in companionable silence. The warmth of his hand in mine was a comfort against the cold wind as it blew across the grounds. The icepack held to my cheek soon felt almost freezing against my bare skin. I let my hand drop from my face, my fingers still protesting against the icy chill of the object they held. “Wait.” My voice seemed to startle him as I stopped.

Gently, I pulled my hand from his and reached for my wand in my pocket. Pulling it out, I gave a vague wave over the icepack. My sad attempt at transfiguring it back into an inkwell did not go so well. I sighed again and looked up into his face. Chagrin replaced the apologetic smile upon seeing his smug, amused expression.

“Let me. I’m excellent at transfiguration.”

His rough fingers brushed the sensitive, smooth skin on the underside of my wrist as he grabbed the disfigured object. I felt a shiver go down my spine that had nothing to do with the cold. He didn’t seem to notice what he had done. My eyes flashed up to his. His eyes were riveted to the object that his cleverly transfigured inkwell had become. It was like a frozen, black blob. Embarrassment flooded through me at the sight of it.

I had never been too great at transfiguration. It was my one weakness in school. I watched in awe as with a decisive flick of his wand, the disaster I had created became a simple black inkwell. Tucking my forgotten wand away, I smiled up at him. “I’m sorry about that. Transfiguration is not my strong point.”

He shrugged and brushed it off. “No worries. It’s lucky that it is my strong point. If you ever need extra help, I’ll be glad to volunteer.”

His Hufflepuff sincerity was touching but I ignored it. It would not be wise to involve myself with someone who was so different from the values my family held dear, even if it was just tutoring. Rather than get into those details, however, I stated simply, “Thank you.”

There was a flash of something in his eyes before it vanished. It had appeared and disappeared too quickly for me to put my finger on what it was. It reminded me of something…

The feel of cool fingers slipping around mine was welcomed with a gentle squeeze. Together, we turned to the castle again and began the walk toward it. All the while, Ted Tonks was a fine example of a gentleman. He recalled story after story involving a vast array of characters from himself to his family to his adventures at school. He told the stories with such animation and energy; it was hard not to be captivated by his voice and expressions. I tried my best to keep a straight face, to stay neutral and not allow myself to develop any kind of attachment to the entertaining, kind Hufflepuff. It would only come to kick us in the arse later on.

Entering the castle, I thanked him for holding the door for me. With a mischievous grin, he gave me a flourishing low bow. For his cheeky actions, I smacked him soundly on the arm, laughing at the expression of mock hurt. It was so deliciously easy to be myself around him. I had never felt this in tune with my own soul, not once. I had always been trying to fit the mold that had been created before my birth. It was the mold all Black women fell into. All pureblood daughters were expected to become this model woman. I gave an inward sigh at the thought.

We were on the flight of steps when we heard it. Peeves’ voice floated up from below as he sang cheerfully. There was no mistaking the words of his song as they grew louder.

“Baron groans, Myrtle moans, McGonagall laid an egg. Bellatrix Black is an ugly, fat quack, and Filch has lost a leg.”

My eyes flew to Ted’s face. I couldn’t let this fall into the hands of Peeves. That would be far worse than if I stood on top of the Gryffindor table and denounced my family name. He seemed to understand my panicked look.

Grabbing my hand, he ran up the steps. I wasn’t too far behind, trying to keep my steps light. On the landing, he hesitated. I glanced up the rest of the stairs and balked. There was no way we’d make it up there in time. I felt a jerk on my arm and turned around.

Motioning franticly, Ted pointed to himself, to me and then to the statue on the landing. Nodding briefly, I ran towards the niche we knew would be behind the statue. I slipped into the narrow space gratefully, my shoulders falling back against the back wall in relief. My relaxed pose wasn’t so relaxing once Ted had entered the small space. With my hips pushed away from the wall, the space big enough for me suddenly wasn’t that big. I scrambled upright, all of my back now pushed against the wall.

I had never noticed how big Ted was. While Raphael was tall and lean, Ted was muscular and tall. The small space was almost suffocating with the two of us stuffed into it. I tried to breathe calmly, focusing on keeping my breaths long and few. Try as I might, my breaths came out fast and frequent. My chest rose and fell with the action, brushing against Ted’s in the process. I looked down, fearful of meeting his eyes. I didn’t know what I’d find there.

My blood pounded through my veins with the erratic beat my heart kept. I was sure he could probably see the strength of its pounding in the vein on my neck. Perhaps, he could even feel it by the way our bodies were inadvertently touching in the small space. I could surely feel his eyes on me. My eyes flew up to meet the intense gaze. My feet almost slipped on the marble floor in shock at what I found.

His hand flew up to cover up the gasp I had released. Peeves was in the stairway, his singing more like bellowing in the echoing space. Unnoticed in our corner, he floated on by. We waited a while longer. I could feel the bold beat of Ted’s heart from the closeness of his chest, the vein in his wrist pressed against my cheek. It was as frantic as mine, though his breathing was smooth. We heard Peeves’ voice fade away as he chose his corridor and left the stairway.

Almost as one, Ted Tonks and I began moving, trying to get out of the small space. The end result was us sprawled on the landing, undignified and inelegant. I sat up slowly. My hand rubbed absently at my hip bone from where I had clipped it against the statue. Ted grimaced as he flexed his ankle gingerly. A pang of guilt washed over me at the sight of it. It wouldn’t have happened if not for me - I was the one who wanted to hide from Peeves. Thinking to offer to help, I drew back when I heard him mutter “Episkey”. I blinked, and then I rose to my feet. I was glad I had worn pants today under my robes.

Pretending to brush dust (of which there was none) off of my robes, I slanted a glance at Ted. He was flexing his ankle again, a cheerful smile on his face. He was seemingly oblivious to the revelation I was feeling. Well, seeing as he wasn’t a Legilimens, it was only fitting he wasn’t aware of what I was experiencing.

Shaking off the silly sense of disappointment, I held out a hand to him. “Let me help you up.”

He chuckled and nodded, his large hand grasping mine firmly. He didn’t even use my weight; he just rose to his feet in one swift motion. He didn’t let go of my hand though. His rough fingers brushed the sensitive skin of my wrist. I bit back a yelp at the feeling. Shaken, I took my hand back. I began stuffing my falling hair back into a semblance of a hairstyle, using my wand to perfect it. Nothing stirred up gossip like a girl whose hair was a mess. At least, that was the case when it came to me.

As I fixed my hair, I began to wonder… What was going on here? What was with the look in his eyes earlier? I had seen amusement, curiosity, interest and something I couldn’t interpret. I had no idea what it was. His ardent look had once again sent chills down my spine. I just wasn’t used to these things.

“Do you still want to go to Madame Pomfrey? The mark has gone away for the most part.”

I jumped and looked at him. “What?” I shook my head softly, trying to clear it. “Oh. No, it’s fine.” My voice softened, “Thank you though. For everything.”

My arms opened vaguely at the word everything. I shrugged and dropped them at my sides. My cheeks flushed with heat and I bowed my head. Embarrassment was a family emotion; only my family ever seemed to be able to embarrass me. This was something new, uncharted and rather uncomfortable.

I glanced up into his face through my eyelashes. Relief felt great after all the tension I had been feeling. The wide, dimpled grin was the cause of my relief. He seemed to know exactly what I meant.

“I can cover that up for you until it fades away completely if you want.”

I smiled and nodded. I had been planning on ducking into a bathroom on my way down to the dungeons to cover it up. This worked just as well. He pulled his wand out again, waving it near my cheek. The cooling sensation I felt gliding over the side of my face seemed to prove that the spell worked. His playful smile softened, sending another shiver down my spine.

“You’re perfectly beautiful once again, my lady.” His tone was lilting with the medieval accent he used.

I giggled, the sound bursting into full out laughter at his flourishing bow. A rush of pleasure at his teasing probably made me appear insane. My smile grew wider and I gave him a curtsy.

“Thank you, kind sir.”

His eyes grew big in shock before he laughed with me. Rising, I opened my mouth to speak, but the sound of feet and voices carried down the stairway, interrupting my actions. Doors opened and more voices joined in. I sighed and flashed a cheeky grin.

“Here’s your rewarding kiss.” Standing on tiptoe, I pressed my lips to his cheek. I laughed at the slack-jawed expression on his face. “Goodbye Ted Tonks.”

Grinning like a fool, I dashed off down the steps. I could still feel his rough cheek against my lips. My bag thumped against my hip and I couldn’t help giggling. Oh, the cleverness of me.

Chapter Five:
Imprints of Friendship


Aveline found me alone in the stairwell, still staring down the steps. She took my hand without question, and led me to lunch. She seemed to know that I’d tell her what was on my mind when I was ready, and I would too, as soon as I could figure it out myself. My thoughts were in a tumble, confusing, overlapping, and hard to make out.

Next thing I knew, I was sitting myself down in the Great Hall beside Aveline, who had just placed a sandwich on my plate, along with some chips. She didn’t speak, just left me alone to my thoughts. Bless her for that. It was hard figuring out the emotions that twisted through my stomach. They were illogical, irrational. It didn’t make any sense for me to be feeling this way.

I didn’t know the girl; I had only spent an hour with her. It wasn’t like she was extravagantly beautiful…

A voice in my mind argued with that thought. While Andromeda wasn’t pretty or beautiful in the usual sense, her beauty came from something that shone from her heart and soul, radiating outwards... That sounded insane even inside my own head, but it was true. Her rather simple, rounded features were eye-catching because of something other than her quiet beauty.

I rolled my eyes at myself, stuffing a chip into my mouth. No matter how I tried to explain it to myself, I still got a funny sensation in my heart whenever I thought of being stuck in the small niche with the Slytherin. She hadn’t tried to become part of the wall in order to avoid touching me. She accepted it as it was; relaxed as she could be while hoping Peeves wouldn’t find us. I could remember the sensation of feeling her chest brush mine. The way I could feel the strength of her heart beating had been something indescribable.

What had affected me the most was the way she had looked up at me through her eyelashes. She seemed so shy and unsure in that moment… The urge to give her a tight hug had been hard to fight.

It was difficult to do but I forced myself to face the truth; I was attracted to her. Not the usual admiration of good looks or the occasional twinge of lust. It went much deeper than that. I wanted to get to know her, befriend her. It was an impossible hope to entertain.

My mind dug up a memory from long ago, stirring me from my thoughts.

“Aveline?” I looked at my friend quizzically.

“Yes?” Her reply was absentminded as she glanced at the Ravenclaw table surreptitiously. I knew exactly where her mind really was: she was trying to figure out a way to get closer to the Ravenclaw guy she adored. Shaking my head, it almost distracted me from my original point. I closed the mouth I had opened. Stay focused Ted.

“Do you remember that girl I was friends with for about a month back in our first year?”

“Mmhm…” The sound was only a murmuring affirmative.

“Right. Do you remember her name?”

Oh, it sounded so much sillier put out there but I didn’t try to take it back. I really wanted to know. I simply couldn’t remember her name. I could vaguely remember what she looked like. I could remember the things we had done together and how we had met.

Aveline finally looked at me, her gray eyes narrowed in suspicion. “Why are you asking?”

I shrugged. I honestly didn’t know. It felt so familiar being with Andromeda. Oh wow. I was beginning to use her first name in my thoughts already. Shaking my head, I looked at her helplessly.

“I don’t know, Av. Just some sort of feeling that is telling me I should know.”

She seemed to understand my need to know. Nodding, she took a moment to consider. After a few minutes, she turned to me again.

“She had a name like a star or constellation. I don’t remember it exactly. I think it started with a B…”

Well, that made it a bit harder. I knew next to nothing about the stars. I thought it over and came up with a plan.

“Want to go to the Library with me after lunch?”

Aveline still looked suspicious but shrugged. “Why not? Free period is next.”

I nodded in agreement. She went back to staring at the table next to us. I went back to eating. My thoughts were still muddled and confused. I was a generally decisive sort of fellow. It bothered me to be unable to figure these feelings out. Sighing, I turned to my memories. Maybe I could figure something out by going over what I did remember.

I was late. It was a good thing I was going to Slughorn’s class. He wouldn’t mind so much. I ran around a corner and into something rather solid and soft.

“Oomph!” That sounded very much like a girl’s voice.

I rose on my elbows from my spot on my floor. A girl was sprawled on the floor in front of me, clutching her stomach as she sat up. There was something about her. She wasn’t exactly thin, rather well rounded. Her face was round and honest looking. Her eyes were bright and seemed generally cheerful. Her hair was cut short, barely brushing her shoulders in thick amber colored waves.

“I’m so sorry! Are you okay?” I gushed out, unable to help my Hufflepuff tendencies.

She seemed short of breath as I scrambled over to her on the floor. Finally, she looked at me, her eyebrows drawn together.

“Maybe you shouldn’t be running in the hallways?” She offered in reply.

I shrugged. Her sharp tone was well deserved. I held out my hand. “I’m Ted Tonks.”

She grasped it, her small hand dwarfed by mine.

“Andromeda Black. Hufflepuff right?”

The self assurance and bright smile had won me over in seconds. Every little detail came flooding back to me. How I managed to forget, God only knows.

Andromeda and I had become fast friends though. She asked me to be her partner in our Defense Against the Dark Arts class. We studied together. It was with her help that I met Aveline. I had fancied my tall, blonde friend then. She never actually knew of Andromeda’s involvement.

Andromeda and I would probably still be friends if it weren’t for her older sister, Bellatrix. Bellatrix did not like our friendship. She believed her sister to be above being friends with anyone who wasn’t from a long line of wizards and witches. Andromeda had told me towards the end of our friendship that Bellatrix had threatened her. Bellatrix had tried to hex and curse Andromeda into submission. I had been proud of my friend’s strength and of her faithfulness but anger was like a poison when I heard that. It took both Aveline and Andromeda to calm me down after that bit of news.

I didn’t believe Andromeda’s warnings about her sister. I was sure of myself and my ability to protect myself. That was until she cornered me in an empty classroom one day. She did that several times but I was determined to stay friends with my Andromeda. So, Bellatrix tried a new tactic. She told me she’d do something to Andromeda and Aveline both if I didn’t back off. I believed her of course. If anyone else had seen the look in her eyes, he or she would have believed Bellatrix too…

Finally, I dragged my mind from the depths of memory lane after I received a sharp jab in my ribs. Aveline was looking at me pointedly, her brows drawn together quizzically.

“Her name didn’t start with a B.”

She looked uncomprehendingly at me. “It didn’t?”

“Nope. It started with an A. Her name was Andromeda Black.”

My friend stared at me, confused. It seemed she thought I had gone loony. “Right. Close enough,” she stated flatly.

I shrugged. It was close enough. When trying to ignore her pointed looks failed, I gave in to her probing glances. I told her everything, but omitted the emotions and thoughts I had struggled with not long ago. The walk down my dusty memories was kept from her as well. She would have blown it out of proportion as girls often do. It was nothing. I felt uncomfortable even thinking of her knowing.

----------------------------------------

Weeks passed and autumn turned into winter without much fanfare. Aveline and I did our schoolwork and enjoyed the cool weather cheerfully. The first thick snowfall came on a Hogsmeade weekend. Our friends and I took advantage of the powered fluff, creating havoc on the school grounds with a well designed snowball fight.

Andromeda and I didn’t interact much after the event on the staircase. We saw each other in a few classes, in the hallways. She never acknowledged me. I never acknowledged her. I was willing to forget the entire thing altogether. I would have too if it weren’t for the tremendous sensation that stirred whenever I saw her.

In attempt to forget, I threw myself into everything I did. I came back from Quidditch practices exhausted. Our team did rather well as a result. My schoolwork was kept up to date with no last minute copying from Aveline. She rather appreciated that. I made even more friends among the younger students. Never before had I attempted to. I was rather glad that I had. A few were quite fun to hang with. A fifth year girl, Margaret, was pretty and witty. I had been surprised she wasn’t in Ravenclaw, at least until I witnessed the strength of her empathy.

A month passed since that moment. November came and went as the end of term approached. Aveline chose to go home for the holidays while I chose to stay. Her family was traveling to some ancient family castle to stay with relatives. I wasn’t quite sure what I was going to do without her. Most of our friends were going home too. I had thought of going home as well but I had no wish to join my family and their jaunt to the Americas.

Not that worried over it, I was pleased to find that Margaret was staying as well. She was plenty of fun, as well as good for the downtime. Aveline seemed rather annoyed at my lack of sadness over her leaving. We had been friends for over seven years now but were soon to part. I pointed this out to her and received a smart smack across the head as she packed for her trip.

“That’s not the point at all, Ted. You’re a right prat sometimes.” She glared at me, beginning to abandon her neat organizing.

I watched as she threw clothes haphazardly into a bag and opened my mouth to tell her she’d regret it later. A sharp look from her quickly caused me to close it again. My head still smarted from where she had hit me earlier. I took the wiser route.

“I’m sorry love.” I tried my best to sound contrite and sincere.

She didn’t seem fooled but my loveable friend flashed me a grin.

“Am I really your love?” She asked me playfully.

“But of course! Who else have I ever claimed undying, unrequited love for?” I shot back, pretending to be stung by her implied words.

The blonde appeared to consider this seriously. She shot me a sly look out of the corner of her gray eyes. “Oh I dunno… That Margaret girl?”

This really did surprise me. Was my best pal jealous perhaps of my new girly pal? “Av, my dear, are you jealous?” I teased.

She looked put out at my accusation. Deciding not to reply, she swung her long hair over her shoulder and began organizing the mess she had made.

“Aw, Av, I was only playing. A’course you’re my best pal and my one and only love. I promise you that.” I rose as I spoke, walking over to her to slide my arms around her thin waist.

We had been like brother and sister since our failed romantic relationship first year. The sensitive blonde couldn’t handle my unconscious flirting with other girls as my girlfriend. Even now, she was very possessive of her claim as best pal. Many people took our closeness as something more. We knew better though.

Aveline hugged my arms around her and nodded against my shoulder. “I better be.” Her tone was joking when she replied.

She seemed to be done with packing. The thought saddened me. I gave her one last squeeze around the middle before settling on the edge of her bed.

“Promise to owl me. You’ll tell me all about your lovely family heritage, won’t you?”

My friend smiled and agreed as she folded the last shirt and placed it in her bag. I wasn’t supposed to be here. I sat on her bed peacefully however. I had discovered the way here in third year. It took me a while but it was better late than never.

It was always Aveline leaving on holiday. I hardly ever went home to my family. They were always off on holiday trips across the world. I let them have their non-magical fun. My older brother was jealous, my baby sister was idolizing, Mum was proud and Dad was standoffish. It was just best not to deal with them.

“All right my love, time to leave,” she teased me. I picked up her bag as she turned to me.

Together we headed towards the common room. Within, we found fellow Hufflepuffs with bags around their feet saying their goodbyes. Aveline stopped to say farewell to some of her friends before returning to my side. We stepped through the portrait hole, ducking under the round lintel. The silence between us was companionable as we strolled down the corridor.

We passed the kitchen’s still life. I couldn’t help thinking that it’d be the last time I walked Aveline down to the entrance hall. It was the last time for a lot of things this year. She caught my sad smile and nudged me.

“Don’t be sad. I’ll be back sooner than you think.”

I laughed. “I better take advantage of my solitude now!”

She huffed and sped up, skipping up the stairs to the ground floor.

“Aw, Aveline, I was only messin’ with you.” I went after her, finding her waiting for me beyond the steps.

I caught her up in another hug, grinning as she laughed at my spontaneity. Placing her back on the ground, I kissed her cheek playfully. She wouldn’t let me walk her all the way to the train. Aveline said she was more than able to do that by herself. I was forced to watch her walk away with the others. Again, it crossed my mind that this was the last time I’d be doing this.

Caught up in my thoughts, I was startled when a small, cool, hand clamped onto my shoulder. Weight was applied and warm breath tickled my ear.

“You two are close, aren’t you?”

I’d know that voice anywhere. I turned toward the sound. The warning of her voice wasn’t enough for the sight of her in Muggle clothes standing before me.

“Andromeda! Wha-I mean, we are.” I started to voice a question only to interrupt myself.

She smiled up at me, amusement in her eyes. “Hello Ted.”

“Hello.” I was stunned by the sight of her. Not a word in weeks, not the slightest encounter at all, but now she was here. Old feelings and emotions came rushing back, teasing me with ideas.

“You seem surprised,” Andromeda commented; her soft voice laced with laughter.

I nodded in response. She took a moment, looking me up and down in my own casual wear. The sensation of her stare sent heat through my body. Her face suddenly broke out in a wide smile, a dimple showing up in her round cheeks. I returned the smile cheerfully.

“Let’s take a walk.” She slipped her hand into my elbow, and led me from the entrance hall. I looked down at her, wondering. Where were we going? Where was all this heading?

Chapter Six:
Friends against Sisters

Leading Ted away from the entrance hall, I didn’t know what to think. I wasn’t sure what to say now that I actually had his attention. Everything had flowed so easily in the entrance hall; it was as if hours, not months, had passed since we last talked. The awkwardness hung between us, accenting that fact. I turned to him and opened my mouth to say something, but closed it soon after. My mind was strangely jumbled when I looked at him, keeping me from making a coherent sentence.

Bothered by my inability to keep myself in control, I avoided looking at him. I could feel his eyes on me every now and then as we continued to stroll in silence.

I had tried so hard in the last few weeks to not think about him or about anything related to him. The mere fact that I was trying not to only made it occur more and more. I was unable to get him out of my mind, no matter how diligently I focused on my school work. I’d find myself slaving away over my cauldron in Potions, only to pick up something that caused me to glance at Ted. It had driven me to Raphael, no matter how much my common sense screamed not to. I instantly regretted that choice. Afterwards, I had to go to great lengths to elude him.

Finally, unable to handle it any longer, I took a fleeting look. He didn’t look uneasy, that faint smile lurking about his lips as we walked. His hand rested lightly on mine as if he was used to roaming through empty hallways with a girl on his arm. As I watched him, I realized the possibility that he did this often was probably pretty high. He was actually and genuinely liked by people throughout the school. A few of the more rebellious Slytherins even expressed respect for him.

As we walked along, I wondered why he wasn’t off with another girl. Why didn’t he have a girlfriend? Why did he agree to come with me? Why didn’t he question me as we wandered? Wasn’t he curious?

“What are you thinking?”

It just slipped out, surprising both Ted and myself. He looked at me, his blue eyes bright and crinkled in the corners from suppressed laughter.

“I’m thinking about the day we met. Do you remember that? Aveline still doesn’t know that you’re the one who pushed us together,” he said quietly, his lips curving into a smile.

I felt my cheeks warm slightly, and I smiled in response.

“How could I forget? You knocked me down.” I was astonished at the effortless teasing tone in my voice when I spoke.

His smile widened and he shrugged. “I was in a rush to get to class. Good things happened because of it, so you better not complain.” He wagged a finger at me playfully, clearly more comfortable than I.

I laughed, and bumped into him gently. Everything came so naturally; it was as if we had never stopped being friends. Silence lapsed again, but this time, it was a companionable one. We exchanged grins, and kept walking along.

I felt his eyes on me, and glanced at him. His dark blue eyes were positively twinkling with his good mood, his lips curled up at the corners in a pleased smile. It was infectious, and I soon found myself grinning stupidly for the mere reason that I was in a great frame of mind. I shook my head at Ted, and tried fruitlessly to ignore his pointed staring.

“What are you thinking?” he asked, his voice sounding close to my ear.

I looked in his direction, coming to a direct stop when I saw just how little distance there was between us. He stopped as well, watching me with obvious humor. What was I thinking? I was thinking a whole host of things that I didn’t want him to ever know.

“I’m thinking that… I’d like you to be my friend,” I finally answered.

His smile broke out, wide and dazzling. He had the best smile; a little crooked, but completely wonderful.

“I’d love to be your friend.”

His simple words hit me to the core. Slytherins weren’t direct like that. They talked in circles, had round-a-bout ways to get what they wanted. He was always so honest when he spoke... I gave him an admiring glance.

“Andy?”

I whirled around toward the voice I had known since I was a little girl. At the end of the hall was Narcissa, looking at me through curious pale eyes. I gave her a faint smile.

“Hello Cissy,” I said pleasantly.

Ted was a bit behind me, watching with a determined sense of relaxation and calm that I could feel from where I stood. I could imagine him standing with his arms crossed loosely over his chest, both defensive and strong, with a slight curve to his lips. I glanced at him, and smiled to see my guess was correct.

“What’re you doing?” Cissy asked me, drawing my attention back to her.

I smiled fully at her. “Walking with a friend. Do you need something?” My politeness didn’t hide the steel edge to my voice. I was tired of my family feeling the need to check up on me.

She gave Ted an appraisingly look, her lips curling into a faint look of disgust. She drew her eyes back to me, choosing to ignore his presence. “I do. We got a letter from Bella. I think you should read it,” she told me.

“Oh. Okay.” I turned to Ted, and smiled apologetically. “I’ll be right back.”

He nodded, and turned away. He was being gentlemanly, I realized as I walked toward my sister. She was eyeing me warily as I approached, as if I were a stranger.

“Have you read it yet?” I asked.

“Yes.” Her voice held a faint quiver of fear and a slight trace of awe. I wondered what could be in it that would make my little sister react this way.

“Let me see it then.” I held out my hand, and drew away a bit when she placed it in my hand. I recognized Bella’s slightly messy, but still elegant script easily.

Dear Cissy,
I’ve done it. I’ve left home and I’ve done something that will make me go down in history. I’ll have power beyond anything we imagined. You’ll be proud of me. I can’t say much about it; he’d be furious. The Dark Lord’s plans are daring and brilliant. He’s passionate about cleaning the bloodlines of wizards and willing to risk so much to get there. He’s unlike any man I’ve ever met, inspiring and fearsome. He’s such a force to be reckoned with. Don’t you see, Cissy? This is our chance to bring wizards into full power of the world. I’ve already learned so much. I hope that one day, you may join us. Pass the news on to Mum and Dad.
With love,
Bella

I felt something twist inside my gut. It sounded so familiar, so haunting. She had been going on about this new Dark Lord for months, of his followers called the Death Eaters. In the corner was a doodled design that was becoming more and more infamous; the mark of the Dark Lord. I could feel the reverence and excitement she had about her newest adventure in her words as if she was speaking them. There was something more too, more than admiration.

I looked up at Cissy, shocked. She smiled at me hesitantly. There was no mention of me in there, nothing at all.

“Maybe she forgot, Andy. It sounds like she had a lot on her mind; her letter is shorter than usual.” Cissy tried to placate me, putting her hand on my shoulder in a comforting gesture.

I knew that wasn’t it; Bella wasn’t simple or easy to figure out. She was a woman who was ruled by secrecy and tradition. I shook my head, trying to clear it. Shaking Cissy off, I handed the letter back, ignoring the stinging pain of rejection.

“I’m fine, Cissy, really.”

She looked at me dubiously. I was more concerned about Bella’s new title than myself.

“She’s a Death Eater now?” I asked Cissy, trying to prove to myself that I had misinterpreted the facts.

Cissy looked at me and nodded, her smile widening. “She is! Isn’t that fantastic? Bella’s going to be famous.”

“Yeah, famous…” I muttered absently, trying to wrap my mind around it.
She shot me a calculating look, but said nothing.

“Thanks for telling me, Cissy,” I said as I pulled her into a hug.

She stiffened at the spontaneous show of affection, but slowly relaxed into my hug. I grinned as she wrapped her arms around me for a swift squeeze before pushing me away.

“Welcome,” she mumbled, looking proud as she lifted her chin to hide the embarrassment in her eyes.

I laughed as she walked away, knowing she would try to forget about my hug. Turning back to Ted, I watched him for a while. He was so patient and kind… He stood there waiting for my okay, talking animatedly with the occupant of a painting. I admired how he could get just about anyone to like him.

I wondered though; had he heard anything? Was he aware of the choice my older sister had made? I was sure it was a trail that my younger sister would choose as well. Fear clouded my senses, fear that he would find out, and be ashamed. Bella’s choice represented my family’s values, but they weren’t mine.

I knew I was a proud person; I was proud of the amount of history behind my name, but not what the history contained. I was proud of the generations of powerful witches and wizards in my family tree, but not the things they did. I was proud of the loyalty and strength the members of my family had for our name, but not the burden they put on those who were different. I was proud of the respect my name was given, but not the reasons behind the respect.

I didn’t think anyone knew this about me. Cissy thought I was just as proud as she was of where we came from. Mum and Dad were more distant as I grew older, it was true, but I didn’t think they realized why I was acting the way I was. My friends had no inkling at all of the thoughts that ran through my head.

Bellatrix was the only one who seemed to know, who suspected me of treason. I saw it in her eyes the last time I saw her. I was freshly reminded in the way that she ‘forgot’ to send me letters or holiday gifts unless reminded by Cissy. Now there was this. She was everything that I couldn’t stand about our family, representing it in the most solid and irreversible way of all.

I sighed to myself, telling myself that it didn’t matter. I could still be me, still be who I was while trying to please my family. Gathering my courage, I glanced to where Cissy had disappeared. She mustn’t know, not ever.

“Ted? My sister has left if you wish to continue our walk…” I knew I sounded hesitant, unsure of myself when I spoke. I couldn’t help it, no matter how much control I had gained through the years. Finding out about Bella’s new walk of life had shattered a part of my resolve. It was just one more thing I was unconfident about.

He turned to me with a smile, his dark eyes soft when he looked at me. The painting behind him was waving cheerfully in farewell as he walked towards me. I stared resolutely at it, fighting the urge to meet his eyes. He stopped in front of me, and touched my arm briefly, his fingers sliding down the fabric of my sleeve to take my hand in his.

“Andromeda, are you okay?” The concern in his voice made me look up at him in surprise. He was always so kind.

I gave him an absentminded smile, wondering if I could brush my mood off. “It’s nothing. I just got some unexpected news, that’s all.”

He looked at me, his face twisted in disbelief. “Dromeda…” He sounded reproachful, as if annoyed that I thought I could get away with lying.

Sighing, I turned my gaze to our joined hands, to his thumb rubbing lightly over my smooth skin.

It was odd… If Raphael had touched me like that, I would have been wary, defensive. He was only ever kind when he wanted something. With Ted, it felt innocent, a gesture of friendship and comfort. It sent up a light fluttering feeling my stomach, almost seeming like nervousness. I ignored it, pretending there was nothing going on.

“I don’t know if I should tell you. I don’t want you to think badly of me,” I muttered, wishing I had better control over myself.

He chuckled, not unkindly as he spoke with quiet confidence. “I make my own opinions, and once set, they don’t tend to change. Trust me on this, Dromeda. I won’t run away from you, whatever this is about.”

His free hand tipped my chin up towards him, forcing me to meet his eyes with unspoken gentleness. I sighed, and nodded in defeat, that fluttering feeling growing.

“It’s my sister…” I trailed off in uncertainty.

“Narcissa?” He probed, urging me to continue when I fell silent. I shook my head swiftly. “Bellatrix?” I nodded, watching as his face twisted into something akin to disgust before it fell back into a smooth mask of kindness. When I didn’t say anything more, he asked another question. “What about Bellatrix?”

My shoulders drooped as I gave up the last of my reservations. “She’s become everything I hate about my family, our history. She’s turned into someone I don’t know, and it frightens me beyond belief. Have you heard of the Death Eaters?” I finally asked, watching an unrecognizable flicker of emotion flash through his eyes at the name of the new group. He nodded slowly. “She is one of them,” I whispered, waiting for the rejection in his eyes.

He only smiled sympathetically, shaking his head at the questioning look in my eyes. Ted drew me into a hug slowly, searching for a hint of resistance. I went quietly, letting out the breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. His touch was soft, his fingers brushing over my hair.

I hugged him back, and drew away when his arms loosened slightly. “Thank you,” I said simply. He always gave me so much. I sent him a dazzling smile. “You know, I’ll have to repay you for this somehow.”

An answering spark of mischief lit up his dark blue eyes, and he grinned back at me. “Oh?”

I nodded, noticing that despite the light hearted atmosphere, I was still tense. I pulled completely from his embrace and turned from him. What was wrong with me? Usually so in control of myself, I could hide even the strongest revulsion, the wildest rage. Here and now, in this quiet hallway with the understanding Ted Tonks, I was finding it impossible to keep everything in check.

I could feel Ted’s eyes on me; feel his thoughtfulness in the air between us. I didn’t know what to do. As much as I wanted to forget, Cissy’s confirmation of my fears rang in my ears still. How could I just go off and enjoy myself as if it never happened?

Ted’s hand brushed my shoulder, sweeping my long hair behind it. My eyes met his, that fluttering bursting into life once again. He looked confused and concerned, worried and intrigued, along with so many other emotions. I didn’t know how to answer the silent question on his face. It was possible I had hurt him by turning away, but I couldn’t find it in myself to fix it.

“I should leave,” I mumbled, avoiding his face.

She looked so lost and alone, standing there with her eyes turned away from me. I didn’t know what to do. She seemed convinced that I would view her as a monster because of her sister.

Silence fell between us, neither comfortable nor uncomfortable. Several times, I thought to do something, say something, but I didn’t know what. Finally, she tried to leave, an action I refused to allow. I didn’t want her wandering off when she was so vulnerable.

“No,” I said firmly, stopping her attempt to walk past me with an arm.

She spun away from my touch, recoiling in anger as if I had planned on taking advantage of her. Her usually warm eyes were fiery in her rage as she stood away from me, hands clenched into fists at her side.

“Dromeda, what are you doing?” I asked in shock.

Her breathing was ragged, her body tense as she stared at me unseeingly. I approached her slowly, wondering about her reaction and the things she was seeing. Cautiously, I reached out to touch her shoulder, surprised when my fingers brushed against her cheek instead. I drew back from her, the softness of her skin still lingering on my fingertips. What was I doing?

I looked down at my hand, thinking maybe I had the Muggle disease where I lost control of my limbs. That would surely explain my roaming fingers more than a simple case of curiosity and attraction.

My eyes went back to Andromeda, somewhat relieved to see her looking at me with a puzzled expression gracing her features. At least she wasn’t mad.

“I, um, I don’t think you should go. Come with me; we can talk somewhere quiet.”

“I can’t, Ted. I need to be alone. As much as I love it, I don’t think we-”

Cutting her off, I shook my head. “Don’t say it. Your sister has nothing to do with us, with our friendship -- with me.”

She glared at me, anger flaring up in her eyes. “Yes, she does! Don’t you see? She’s the embodiment of the Dark Lord’s beliefs -- my family’s beliefs. Those beliefs all scream out against people like you,” she cried out. At my confusion, she gave a small shriek of frustration. “Muggle-Borns! Half-bloods! People who don’t come from ancient families of pure blood!”

“She can’t touch me in here, Dromeda. I’m safe with Dumbledore as Headmaster. I’m not afraid of your sister,” I said calmly.

Her eyes were disbelieving as she stared at me. “Did you know that every Death Eater has a relative within this school? The majority of those relatives would not mind passing on something from their Dark Lord to their relative. The majority of those relatives share the same beliefs and ambitions as their Death Eaters. My sister knows magic now that you will probably never know. Dark magic. She’s powerful and strong, clever to a fault, and hardly sentimental. Growing up, I used to think that God forgot to give her a heart. You’d stand no chance against her. You’d be ruined in a second.”

I watched her pace before me, waving her arms occasionally to punctuate her words. She was agitated and rambling, the fear showing through in her eyes.

“Dromeda, stop. Stop. I’ll be okay. Why would your sister target me specifically?”

Andromeda stopped to stare at me, her trembling evident now that she was standing still. “Why? Because you’re a “Mudblood”, impure and unfit to be on speaking terms with me. Do you not remember what she said all those years ago?”

I stared at her, wide-eyed. “No, I remember. She threatened to hurt you, to make you pay and ache because I wanted to be your friend. She told me not to be selfish and make you suffer.”

“See, that’s exactly the sort of person Bella is! She wouldn’t hesitate to hurt me, her own sister, if it meant getting her way. She’s always liked me least…”

The last sentence was mumbled, as if to herself. I watched, unsure of what to say.

“Dromeda-”

“Why do you call me that? Why not Andy, or something else?” she interrupted suddenly, her eyes burning with something unidentifiable.

I could feel my face scrunch up in confusion. “I don’t call you Andy because I’ve noticed that your family and other pure-blood fanatics call you that. I want something all my own to call you.” As the last words left my lips, they tingled with the meaning behind them. Shaken, I continued, “I call you Dromeda because you don’t seem like a Drea or a Droma. Do you not like it?”

She smiled at me sweetly. “No, it’s charming, and kind. Like you.”

I felt heat flush through me, reminding me how glad I was that I didn’t blush easily. “Let’s go somewhere we can talk without interruption.”

Her smile faded, her face collapsing back into sorrow and fear. Worry blossomed as I watched her try valiantly to keep her emotions in check. The shock of her sister’s latest news seemed to have broken the weave of her control. I offered my hand to her wordlessly, pleased when she slipped her cool hand in mine.

----------------------------------------------

“I don’t feel like myself anymore,” she muttered before turning surprised eyes on me. “I’ve never told that to anyone before.”

I smiled at her reassuringly. “I’m not just anyone, ma cheri.”

She smiled, though the fear and worry was still there in her eyes. “You speak French?”

Nodding, I shifted my position against the window frame. I could feel the heat from her leg as they leaned on mine. She was staring down at her hands, her face hidden by her long hair.

“On me l'a enseigné pendant qu'en France avec ma famille.” At her confused look, I grinned and translated. “I was taught it in France with my family. I loved the language so I kept speaking it when my family forgot. Aveline enjoys having conversations in French.”

“Oh. Your family must be well off.”

“We’re not too bad. Dad owns a travel agency �“ Muggle place that sets up travel arrangements for people �“ and Mum helps with the creative part of it.”

“So they like to travel?”

“Yeah, I guess you could say that. They’re in America right now.”

“Why didn’t you go with them?” She sounded curious as she finally met my eyes.

I looked away, out the window we were sitting in. There were plenty of reasons why I hadn’t gone with them.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

I shook my head at her quiet words. “I do want to tell you. It’s just a touchy subject between my family and me. They don’t understand or accept my life. It’s too awkward being with them.”

Her gaze rose up to meet mine, a twitching in my stomach appearing at the fire in her eyes. She leaned forward, resting her elbow on her thigh. “I feel very similar to that,” she said, anger putting an edge to her voice.

“I don’t understand this,” �“ she gestured between us with her hands �“ “but I feel this illogical urge to tell you everything. It’s rather scary because I was taught that to trust someone is to give him power over you. With the people I grew up around, this was true. With you, I would rather marry the Giant Squid than say you can’t be trusted.”

I, unsure of what to say, only reached out for one of the hands lying still in her lap. She gave me a wavering smile as I played with her fingers absently, seeming to understand that I knew what she was saying.

“My family never seemed to know the real me. I was only ever what they wanted me to be. Coming to Hogwarts opened my eyes to what there could be, who I could be. It showed me that there was so much more than what I had grown up with…

“It was a world of secrets and pureblood, of deceptions and lies, of treachery and unhappiness. Not exactly the right kind of situation to raise children in. Bella was exposed the worst. She set the precedent for being the perfect daughter: follow Mum and Dad’s rules, get sorted into Slytherin, excel in school, believe the beliefs of the family, and marry a pureblood. She was the favored girl, despite her mood swings and slight insanity. I was supposed to follow in her footsteps. To me, everything she did was something I never wanted to become. Yet, I was, and still am, being pressured to be like her.”

“You’re not. I knew that when I first met you,” I interjected, watching her bowed head. My words were met with a dazzling smile of such warmth, I was taken aback.

“So many have told me that I remind them of my sister, at least in looks. It tears me up inside sometimes. I don’t want to upset my family though. They’re all I have, all I’ve ever had. Loyalty to family has been preached to me so many times, especially by my Aunt Walburga. I think she is suspicious about me.” Her tone turned slightly amused at the end.

Deciding to take a risk, I gave her hand a squeeze and spoke. “Oh, who wouldn’t be? What with those big, lovely hazel eyes, and your fantastic smile, who would ever trust you?” I winked at her, earning an appreciative giggle and smile.

“Oh yes, who would?” She grinned, but it slipped away into seriousness. “It means more than I think I can say that you seem to see me.”

“Of course I see you. I’ve got eyes, haven’t I?” I scoffed, giving her thigh a nudge with my foot.

“What do you see exactly, Ted?”

There was a burning curiosity in her eyes, bright but unable to mask the fear behind it. I wonder what there was to fear from me. “I see a beautiful girl who is smart.”

“Thank you.”

“I see an amazing girl who’s opinionated, but scared.” She smiled faintly at my slightly dry tone. “I see a lovely girl who is sad and a bit lonely. I see the kind of girl I could be friends with.”

Her eyes looked at me appraisingly. She didn’t seem to know what to say. I felt a sensation flow through me as I realized just how close we were on the window seat, the feel of her long fingered hand in mine, the things I had said, the look in her eyes. It was just as intimate as I had ever been with Aveline, a thing I had shared with no one else.

She gave my hand a squeeze, managing to convey the words she seemed unable to speak. A silence fell between us, a thoughtful silence as we fell into our minds.

“What about siblings? Do you have any?” She broke the silence finally, her voice hesitant at so different a subject.

“Two. An older brother who envies my life and despises me because of it, as well as a younger sister who adores both of us and is the apple of our parents’ eyes.”

“To think that my family considers Muggles almost incapable of feelings,” she remarked musingly.

“Ted!”

We both turned to look into the Hufflepuff common room’s depths, towards the voice yelling my name. Running towards us, I spotted Margaret, a younger girl I had befriended. She was bundled up, pulling on gloves as she came closer.

“Hello Margaret.” I was rather miffed at her interruption. It wasn’t every day I sat in the window seat with someone from another house.

“Do you want to join us for a snowball fight? Or sledding?” She turned her green gaze on Andromeda. “You should come too. I’m Margaret, by the way.”

Her enthusiastic friendliness seemed to surprise Andromeda for a short minute before she regained her composure. She smiled brightly at the younger girl.

“Margaret, this is Andromeda.” I made the introduction with a dry tone. Margaret had always been a friendly girl.

“It’s nice to meet you. So, what do you say?” she questioned, her face hopeful.

I glanced at Andromeda; she was gazing at Margaret thoughtfully. It seemed that she was actually considering the proposal.

“How many people are coming?” Andromeda spoke to Margaret for the first time, a feat which made Margaret grin widely.

“Oh well, we’ve got Jasmine and Aeron, Evelyn, Einar, Ceridwen and Reid, Chris, Luke, plus some others. I guess you’d say we’ve got enough.”

“Hmmm… Well, I’d have to go get some things to wear…,” Dromeda was welcoming the distraction thankfully, her hand giving me a swift squeeze in what I sensed was excitement. I wondered if the Slytherins held contests such as snowball fights like we did.

“Nonsense! Come with me, and we should be able to find you some things to wear from someone. You might not match though.” Margaret gushed, her happiness at Andromeda’s acceptance visible as she brushed away the older girl’s words.

Dromeda looked at me, her eyes bright in anticipation. “Do you want to?”

Who was I to pass up fun in the snow? “Sure. Go on ahead. I’ll just change into warmer clothes.”

She flashed me a cheerful smile before slipping off the window seat. The pair of girls disappeared down the corridor, Margaret keeping up a steady stream of conversation.

I left to change as well, thinking upon all that I had learned about Andromeda in the course of the day. There was so much more to her than I had thought. Thinking about my first impression of her earlier in the year made me blush at the conclusions I had jumped to.

I was waiting for them in the common room when they came back. Margaret had been right; Andromeda didn’t match. She wore a shockingly pink hat that made her cheeks rosy. A gold and black scarf wrapped around her neck and was tucked into the thick black sweater she wore. Over that sweater, she wore a jacket the color of Muggle army wear. Margaret was arguing with her about her shoes as they approached; she wore a pair of red boots that had fur sticking out of the top from the insides.

“You’ll be a lot warmer in them! I promise you that.”

“I like my shoes a lot better.”

“Trust me; you’ll be happy I made you wear these when we come back in. Otherwise, your feet would be frozen, and your shoes soaked.”

Rolling her eyes, Andromeda grinned at me as she gave up. She pulled on a pair of blue striped gloves that Margaret handed her.

“All right, let’s go,” said Margaret. She dashed ahead to meet up with the other members of our party, leaving us in relative privacy.

“You look ready to laugh,” Dromeda remarked as she adjusted the hat over her long hair.

I let the smile tugging on my lips slip forth. “You simply remind me a very confused rainbow.”

“Oh, come off it. I look perfectly fine. At least I’ll be warm.” She grinned at me, unable to pretend to be mad.

“So you’re the girl,” Margaret said as she dug through a friend’s trunk.

I glanced at her, confused. “What girl?”

She gave me an appraising look, her face unreadable. “The one who drove Ted to distraction.”

I gave her a look that clearly said I wasn’t following.

“Ted, for all his friendliness, keeps to himself and his close friends. You can tell something is up when Ted throws himself into a social life. He did that a couple of months ago and hasn’t stopped. I figured the person involved didn’t belong to Hufflepuff. To be honest, I’m not surprised you’re a girl either.”

“Oh.” I didn’t know what to say. I sat and thought about all that I had learned from this young, bold girl.

“What size shoe do you wear?”

Pulling myself from my thoughts, I focused on her. I answered absently, not really paying attention to the clothes she was piling up on her bed beside me.

“How long have you and Ted been friends?” I asked.

“Not too long. About as long as he’s been acting unlike himself,” she answered.

“Oh. You seem to know him rather well.”

“Naw, only the basics. He keeps the important stuff to those he really cares for. Okay, I think we’ve gotten everything. I pulled out what extras I could find so you could choose.”

I couldn’t get that out of my head. She said he didn’t trust people so easily, and yet, it felt as if he had trusted me so much. How else would he have gone so far as to tell me about himself? It was a confusing, slightly frightening thought that occupied me while I followed behind the others.

Darkness was falling, we weren’t soaked, but the cold lingered up against our skin. I knew I only wanted to get inside, eat something and disappear into the dorm I had all to myself. As a Slytherin, I knew little actual interaction like I had with this boisterous, friendly group of people, and quite frankly, it had been a little overwhelming for me.

“Have fun?”

I felt his breath brush my cheek and tickle my ear as he leaned in with a hand on my shoulder. Smiling despite myself, I turned my head to glance at him in the encroaching night.

“Of course. Margaret is quite the character,” I remarked dryly, looking at the girl as she walked ahead of us. There was a bounce in her step, an energy that I could sense even from where I lagged behind.

His answering chuckle sent a shiver down my spine. It seemed so intimate in the low softness of sound, in the way it brushed across my face from his closeness.

“You’re cold,” said he. Ted must have felt my shiver from where his arm still draped across my shoulders.

It was far from the truth, but I nodded. “Only a little,” I answered.

He shrugged out of his coat quickly and wrapped it around my shoulders. “Any better? I suppose it’d be useless to ask you for a walk in the snow then?”

His words made me smile and shake my grin at the mock disappointment. “Perhaps another time. I’ve spent far too much time outside in the company of others,” I joked, being only half serious.

His blue eyed gaze dropped to mine with all seriousness. “A loner, huh?”

I shrugged, feeling the weight of his arm even more with the movement. It was comforting, despite my attempt to resist it. “Let’s just say I’m not a girl used to much contact of any kind with people.”

“Is this too much?” he asked with an indication to his arm, the concerned lift of his eyebrows making me feel slightly guilty.

I shook my head vehemently, knowing I was speaking only the truth. “Not at all; it’s… rather… um… comforting,” I managed to say, ducking my head as I spoke. Raised as I was, I was not quite comfortable speaking about my feelings out loud. I had been taught to do so was to open one’s self for attack. No matter my upbringing, I couldn’t see this caring Hufflepuff as being the kind of person to take advantage of another’s confession.

Ted smiled down at me in obvious pleasure and relief. His face was barely separable from the surrounding darkness. Night was almost upon us, only the faintest glow at the horizon suggesting any kind of bright light. It is clichéd, but this feeling unlike any other came over me. I felt drawn to him, felt myself taking a step closer to him as our paces slowed.

We stopped on the path to the castle, the sounds of the group ahead getting softer and softer as they grew farther away. My eyes met his, and I saw a bolder reflection of my own sensations there. He knew what he wanted, I could see that in his eyes, and he knew exactly how he felt. Ted wasn’t fighting it as I was, for the fire burned freely in his blue eyes.

Dropping my head, I closed my eyes, that image of his intense gaze imprinted in my mind. No one had ever looked at me with that strength or probing. I didn’t even know what to say to him. Silence ensued, a silence filled only with the faded, distant sounds of our previous group.

“We ought to get inside. I don’t want you getting ill,” he said, finally breaking the silence in a soft whisper.

I nodded, feeling my forehead brush his shoulder. It startled me that we were so close, and I took an involuntary step backwards. There was a flicker of something across his face at my action, but he smiled down at me kindly within moments. Perhaps it was just my imagination, acting up on this very strange day. So much had happened…

“How many are left of Slytherin?” he asked.

I shrugged again. Keeping tabs on my fellows was the least of my priorities. “I don’t know. A few first and second years I think. Maybe a fifth year. There’s about four or five of us in all.”

“Perhaps you’d like to join us? During Holidays, we all stay in the common room like a giant sleepover. There’s too many for one dorm room, and too few to use all of them.”

My eyes flew up to see his face, only visible as the castle lights hit it. He was looking straight ahead, his thick messy hair falling into his eyes. “Okay,” I answered hesitantly. “But I’m wearing my own clothes this time,” I added as an afterthought.

Ted laughed, his rumble going through my body in a way that had me on edge. I couldn’t believe I was letting this happen. All my life, I had kept to myself; trusted only myself with my well being. Yet, here I was trusting Ted with more than he knew.

“Fair enough. I’ll wait for you then, my little confused rainbow,” he teased me, looking down at my mismatched clothes.

I laughed, startled at the endearment. “All right, I suppose that’ll work.”

The rest of the walk was spent in a companionable silence, his arm and jacket wrapped loosely around my shoulders as I snuck glances at him through the cover of shadows.

Unbidden, as I looked at Ted for what felt like the millionth time, Raphael’s face came to mind. I couldn’t help but compare them. Raphael had never touched me without the hope of getting something out of it. Ted would never, I was sure of it, use me for his advantage. I bit my lip at another thought, one that caused me some distress. My family would be all over this once they knew, especially Raphael. He would be more than mad…

The door to the Slytherin stairs appeared and I slipped from everything that was Ted into the world I knew so well. The dark stairwell wasn’t damp, but I hurried down it anyways. Dashing through the common room, I slipped into my empty dorm and closed the door behind me.

It was the greatest relief to be alone at last, even if for only a little bit. My heart was pounding in my chest, and my breathing rushed through my lungs. If it was such a relief, why was I so spooked to be here alone?

Shaking my head at my foolishness, I went to my trunk, pulling out my dressing robe, a cloak and a pair of pajamas. I put on the pajamas, trying to take my time, but knowing I dressed faster than usual. Grabbing the discarded mismatched clothes, I pushed them into an empty laundry bag; I would take them back to Margaret later. I slipped my feet into my slippers, drew the dressing gown around me, and settled the cloak over my shoulders.

I ignored the mess I left behind, and fairly ran out of the Slytherin quarters, through the spooky, shadowy common room, and up the claustrophobic staircase. Bursting through the door, I dashed back to Ted’s side, smiling at his startled look.

“It’s just a tad spooky down there at night,” I said in way of explanation. I didn’t mention that I missed his presence which had become so permanent at my side through the day.

He chuckled and drew me close to his side. Instantly, I felt myself relax. I marveled at my reaction as he guided me to the Hufflepuff common room.

Soon, I found myself settled with my back against a fluffy couch, a pillow in my lap and a blanket draped around my legs. The fire crackled in the fireplace, lighting up the circle of faces around me. I recognized a few of them as Ravenclaws and Gryffindors, though the majority was Hufflepuff. Shaking my head faintly, I couldn’t believe I was sitting here with all of them.

Ted was beside me, more sprawling that sitting, his weight a constant against my leg. Everyone’s voices overlapped, excitement running through the group like a wild fire. Margaret was talking to an energetic blonde and the guy whose arm draped over her shoulder. She saw me looking and waved, a motion mirrored by the blonde and her guy moments later.

They were accepting me, I thought with astonishment. My own kind didn’t even accept me. People were completely right when they described the Hufflepuffs as misfits. They didn’t fit anywhere else, but that worked for them. I could see that now as I looked around the circle.

“Why so quiet?” his voice was husky as it blew into my ear.

I jumped; it was unavoidable in my surprise. Smiling guiltily, I looked down into his face. “I was thinking about how you Hufflepuffs really are a group of great big misfits,” I teased.

“Hey! We’re not misfits. We fit in just fine,” he protested, pretending offense.

I giggled and shook my head, watching as my long hair brushed his face. “Yes, you are, but it works for you. You’ll accept anyone because there isn’t much of a standard,” I answered, completely serious despite my joking tone.

“Oh, but that’s where you’re wrong. We do have standards.”

“What are those, good sir? Pray tell me please.”

He rolled over onto his back, his head finding its way onto my lap and pushing the pillow out of its way. “A good heart, a generous nature, patience, loyalty, and hard working. If those aren’t standards, I don’t know what are.” Ted grinned, pleased with himself, I could tell.

“Ah, I see. And would you say I meet these standards?” I asked, serious still.

Ted’s hand ran down the length of my calf absently as he appeared to consider me. “Well, I suppose you must have quite a bit of loyalty for your family. You’ve obviously got patience. You have been very generous to me, and your heart seems well. As for hard working… We may have to work on that,” he joked.

I glanced at his roaming hand where it ran up and down my leg lightly. It seemed Ted was a very physical kind of person. Looking back at him, I laughed at his jesting. I sniffed daintily. “I work very hard, and I’ll thank you to remember that.”

His laughter vibrated through his back and against my leg, making me laugh at the feeling. “Proud as ever, and very pretty by firelight,” he remarked, his gaze straying to Margaret across the circle.

I felt my stomach drop in disappointment. He surely wasn’t talking about me, no matter what Margaret had said about me being the one he couldn’t stop thinking of. “Yes, she is very pretty.”

His blue eyes left the brunette and looked at me with a flicker of disbelief in them. Ted opened his mouth to say something, closed it, and then opened it again. He didn’t seem to know what to say, though I could tell he did have something to say.

“Errr, well I suppose Margaret is pretty in her own way… She, um, wasn’t the one I was, erm, referring to,” he finally managed to get out, looking a little uncomfortable.

I bit my lip, wondering who it was that had his attention. “But she said th�”” I started before I cut off at his look. “Who, then?”

The slight darkening of his cheeks in the golden firelight seemed to imply that he was blush. I grinned down at him, touching his temple lightly with my fingertips.

“I was referring to you, Andromeda Black.”

His words stopped the circular motions my fingers had begun to make, and I looked down at his face. “What?” I asked stupidly.

A soft smile touched his lips, and his free hand rose to smooth hair from my cheek. I wanted to lean into his touch and jerk away from it all at the same time. I settled for sitting as still as I could.

“You; I think you’re stunning, a girl attractive in more ways than the physical,” he stated calmly.

It was as if he was unaware of what he was saying. Didn’t he know, that if Raphael found out about this, he’d be toast? I stared at him blankly, unsure of how long, before I grabbed the hand at my cheek gently and placed it down on his chest. The motion of his breathing was strong and smooth underneath my hand, and I looked at it curiously. How could he be so calm? I felt like hyperventilating in panic at the mere thought of Raphael finding out.

“Perhaps we, um, ought to get some sleep now,” I said in response. In his eyes, I saw that same strange flicker, almost reminiscent of disappointment. There wasn’t any way for me to let him down though, and so, I convinced myself that I only imagined it there.

He turned his head towards the fire, his eyes staring blindly ahead. I wondered what he was thinking, whether he thought I was a coward or if he thought less of me now.

Hesitantly, I stroked his hair with light fingers, doing it once, twice, then three times before I felt confident enough that he didn’t mind. Ted’s eyes fell closed under my gentle ministrations, his long, muscular body relaxing as he drifted into sleep. Around us, the others were burrowing into blankets with sleepy murmurs. I tugged a second pillow over to my side, and threw as much of my blanket over Ted’s prone body.

For a long while, I sat there thinking over my day. There was so much to consider, it was staggering. Was it really possible to find a true friend in the young man who lay sprawled in my lap? Was there perhaps even more than friendship between us? I knew just how my family would react, especially with Bella’s joining the ranks of the Death Eaters. Would Ted care about their opposition? Would I be strong enough to withstand it? As long as my thoughts grew, my eyes grew ever heavier, and my mind grew ever fuzzier…

I awoke to three sensations. My right hand was flung out and pressed to soft cotton through which I could feel the warmth of someone’s leg. My left hand was on my chest, clasping loosely a long fingered hand of exceeding softness. Another hand, not my own, stroked my hair gently, the cool fingertips brushing against my warm forehead. Where was I, and who was this person?

Sleepily, through half-lidded eyes, I tried to fight the urge to sleep. I shifted my head, only to realize it was resting in someone’s lap. That was the spark that jolted me to full wakefulness, and I opened my eyes all the way. Above me, smiling faintly as she stared at the empty fireplace, was Andromeda Black.

Hers was the hand I held to my chest. Hers was the hand that stroked my hair in a fashion so familiar; it was as if she had done it for years. Hers was the lap where my head rested. Hers was the leg that my hand was against. I smiled; sleepy still as I gave the hand I held a gentle squeeze.

“Good morning, Sunshine,” I murmured.

She looked at me in shock, her warm golden brown eyes wide. I lifted my cast out hand and twisted a lock of her hair. Even with her long hair in disarray, and her face unmasked in the early light, she looked stunning. I felt the faint burn of desire, but I pushed it away. It would not do to allow myself more than innocent friendship with this girl, the daughter of a staunchly Slytherin pureblooded family.

Her surprised expression melted away into a soft smile. “Good morning to you. It’s about time you woke up; I was wondering if I would spend the rest of my life with the head of a snoring man in my lap,” she teased kindly.

“I don’t snore at all! You’re quite mistaken. That must have been Margaret you heard,” I protested, grinning despite myself.

“I heard that,” remarked Margaret, clearly and unwillingly awake.

“Ah, I had hoped you would not,” I laughingly answered back.

For my pertinence, I received a pillow to the head, only causing me to chuckle some more. I lifted myself up from Dromeda’s lap, settling myself against the coach beside her.

“Were you terribly uncomfortable with me in your lap?” I asked quietly, looking at her with mock seriousness.

She paused to consider, her dark brows drawing together in her pale face. “Well, no I suppose…” she answered reluctantly, the response ruined by her bright eyes.

“Good, because we can’t have that. It is your first night in the Hufflepuff world, after all.”

Her gaze turned to my face at once, curiosity and something else there in her eyes. “Do you see me returning here often?”

Her suddenly aware attitude and attentiveness did not tell me whether she wanted to return or not. I stared at her a long while, considering what words to use, and when I did, I chose them with care. “Yes, but only if you wish to return.”

Her smile was wide and encouraging, and her eyes merry. I grinned back at her, confident that I had said something that pleased her. She didn’t say anything, but I could suddenly make out her desire to return here. It was in the way she looked around us at the so familiar furniture I took advantage of. It was there on her face when she looked at the people sprawled out in sleep who had accepted her with no questions or rude words. Perhaps the best move I could have made was to bring her here.

It only made me wonder more what the Slytherins were like to each other, and what their rooms looked like. Was it really as awful as that?

“Dromeda, what are th�”” I started, only to be interrupted by an irritable Margaret. Absorbed in my time with Dromeda, I had failed to remember that Margaret was a light sleeper, and grumpy in the mornings.

“Ted, shut the bloody hell up. I’m trying to sleep here!” She threw another pillow at me, missing, but her message was sent.

“Okay, okay. Shall we go down to the Great Hall for some food?” My gaze found the eyes of the girl who had haunted me for longer than I was aware of until this moment.

She smiled her enigmatic smile and nodded. “Sure.”

Rising, I turned to her, surprised to see she already had a hand stretched towards me for my help. I laughed at her rebellious look, and lifted her up easily. We walked in agreed silence to the door and exited just as quietly. Outside, we exchanged looks, and her laughter burst forth from her lips.

“Margaret is not a morning person?” she questioned.

I shook my head vehemently, pleased to see her amused smile. “Not at all. You are a very daring and deserving young woman,” I taunted her, referring back to that moment when she had dared me to treat her like royalty who expected their due.

“Ah, but not at all. I’m a very demure and faithless girl for I wish to turn on the backs of my mates and have not yet the courage to do so,” she responded, her dark gaze serious, but still amused.

Thinking over her words, I could only summarize that she wished to leave either the Slytherins or her family. “Which disease are you speaking of?” asked I, amused with our slight code.

Her lips lifted upward in a vague, absentminded smile. “My family. I can live with being Slytherin. I do deserve that fate, for that is how my heart and mind run together. Their beliefs and mine are not the same however, which only spills over into the issue of my family who are part of the most violent in their wish to follow their beliefs.”

“Maybe, if you ever get the courage, you could break away from them.” I was unsure of what to say, and my words came hesitantly. Once they were out in the open, it crossed my mind that I wouldn’t mind helping her through that break. Discomfited, I looked at her.

Instead of looking at me head on, she stared at me from the corners of her eyes, her lips pursed in a slight frown. “Perhaps,” was all she said, her voice giving away her doubt of that proposal.

There was something in that dark-eyed slanted gaze that caused a shiver down my spine. If someone had asked me right at that moment to describe what the exact origin of the shiver was, I’d have been too baffled and disturbed to explain. Biting my tongue, I refrained from responding. I wouldn’t have known what to say if asked to speak…

----------------------------------------------

“Do you realize you’re still holding my hand?”

I startled, looking to my left at the girl in green and black beside me. Her entertained expression was diverting, and I returned her warm smile easily. I had rather let my mind wander as we walked through the grounds, still burningly and astonishingly aware of the touch of her skin against mine. My thoughts did not help, most of them being about the girl herself.

“Oh, am I? I didn’t realize…” I trailed off, my words honest enough, though not quite as honest as they should have been. How could I tell her that her touch sent warning bells off in my head, but heat through my body? Not exactly a conversation stimulator, and awkward as hell to bring up. It was rather strange to think that I had only really known her for a couple of months; it felt like ages, as if I had known her all my life.

I shot a glance at her, and grinned sheepishly to see her staring at me with a raised eyebrow and waiting look that I now knew was something she had learned from birth. It was a look that was slightly condescending, though it often had other emotions attached. I dropped my gaze down to our clasped hands, noticing for the first time that our fingers were twined together. A sense of bliss welled up in my chest at the sight, sending off yet another set of alarm bells in my mind. It was stupidity and foolishness to get myself so involved, and yet I couldn’t seem to help it. Something in her just drew me in.

During our winter break, if she hadn’t stayed in the Hufflepuff common room, within minutes of arriving at the Great Hall, we gravitated towards each other. We had spent almost all of the full, mindless days together, and when we weren’t, I was certain to be thinking about her in some shape or form. If it wasn’t wishing she was with me, it was thinking that something or other would have been enjoyed by her, or hated by her. In all sense, Aveline would have called me a boy obsessed, in my own mold of teenage craze. I had only half an idea of what she thought about while we parted, and only because she willingly shared. The rest would be greeted with one of her signature slanted looks and a small, secretive smile. It could drive a person insane wondering what she was thinking behind those guarded eyes…

The sound of a cleared throat jerked me violently back to reality, and I gave her another abashed glance. “Do you want me to let go?” I asked with confusion. She looked expectant, amused and a bit exasperated.

Dromeda’s eyes widened, and the smile slipped from her lips. “Oh! Not at all!” She sounded appalled at the very idea, another train of thought that had me cursing my traitorous body and emotions inwardly.

Feeling my brow pucker in consternation, I tried to figure out what was behind her attention seeking noise. After a long moment of pure turmoil, I finally spoke up.

“What is it, then?”

She laughed, her dark eyes growing lighter with joy. “What were you thinking? Your expressions were intriguing and surprisingly unreadable.”

I felt warmth spread up my neck in embarrassment. If she had known, if I were to actually tell her, would she run from me in anger, or be pleased? I simply didn’t know, though her reactions were growing warmer and warmer every time to my presence and touch. Yet, the few times I had tried to broach the subject, she cut me off with a jerky little shake of her head, alarm and fear darkening her already dark eyes. I tried to tell myself it was because of our houses, and the way she was raised, but I knew those were feeble lies to keep myself happy. I knew the real reason, if she did indeed feel something for me too: her family. As unbelievable as it was to me, she felt like she needed their love, and actually loved them despite their wickedness to her.

“Awwah, come on Ted! You must tell me,” she pleaded, grabbing our clasped hands with her free one. Dromeda turned towards me, and looked me in the face. I could see how badly the curiosity was burning her up inside, and felt a slight twist of resentment that there was no desire or excitement in that gaze.

I shook my head though; there was no way I was going to tell her that my thoughts had been about her.

“You don’t want to know,” I warned her cautiously.

That was entirely the wrong thing to say. I knew it the moment it came out of my mouth, for the interest in her eyes blazed, catching me off guard. “I�”” Almost telling her, I snapped my jaw shut resolutely, feeling a muscle twitch at the constant tension.

“Pleeeeease,” she breathed, leaning against my shoulder with an appealing expression on her face.

I felt my breath quicken with my heart, felt a heat that had nothing to do with embarrassment and everything to do with attraction and excitement. My thoughts scattered, and for a few moments, I was completely thoughtless. I simply stared down at her, unconsciously drawing nearer to her.

The look changed subtly; her fluttering eyelashes slowed, her widened eyes narrowed in an almost sleepy, but inviting look. Dromeda’s lips parted slightly, and her chin tilted up. It was every sign of a girl waiting and hoping to be kissed. Once again, I heard those imaginary warning bells, and I jerked away from her unwillingly. My body rebelled against the action, feeling the magnetic pull that was always between us, and the overwhelming sense of desire.

Instantly, she stepped away from me, but failing to go far enough that my hold on her hand was broken. However, she turned her face away too fast for me to read the change in her expression. It didn’t look exactly happy, not if she was refusing to look at me. I didn’t speak, and followed her lead when she began to walk again. I simply followed her lead, fighting with myself about what to do.

On the one hand, I could do the thing we both seemed to have wanted so desperately only moments ago. I myself could feel the desire still twisted inside me, waiting with little butterfly wings in my lower abdomen. I could only guess that she too felt something there, waiting like a monster for its final release.

On the other, I knew the thing we seemed to crave was so incredibly something she didn’t want to have to face. It was a step into a relationship with a person whose life and philosophy was completely foreign to her, and it scared her. I saw that whenever the subject had come up vaguely before. All she knew was a life as a Slytherin pureblood, a daughter from a long and illustrious line of snobby upstarts. It was to step into defiance against the family she loved so hopelessly, as only a love-starved woman could do.

I stole a glance at her, and saw that she still didn’t look towards me, or even straight ahead. I felt a pang of regret that I had caused her pain, but it was a situation that could have hardly been avoided other than complete isolation from each other.

“Dromeda. Dromeda, please, look at me.” I sounded pleading and sorrowful even to my own ears, and I chose not to say anything more.

A long while passed with no response, and I felt a twist of hurt as she continued to ignore me.

“Dromeda, please.”

My voice was no more than a whisper, and I waited while holding my breath. Slowly, very slowly, she turned to me, and I could see the accusation in her eyes.

“No, Andromeda, don’t please. Sweetheart, don’t think like that,” I begged with no shame, not noticing the endearment slip from my tongue until it was too late.

“Like what? Like I’m undesirable? Like no person seems to want me for who I am, not just what I can bring to them?” she asked bitingly, her voice full of derision and resentment. The anger flared in her eyes, so sudden and unexpected that I reacted in a way that was common for most red-blooded teenage boys who felt lust and desire.

I kissed her.

It was a rather fierce and demanding kiss, though shorter than I would have liked. Even as that thought crossed my mind, I tried to rebel against it, so used to having to beg for love and only getting scorn in return. I tried to make myself stay still and unresponsive, but there was no fighting the hormones that raged through my body at his closeness.

I did respond, and with very little grace. My surprised gasp was cut short as my body took over my thought process, and all I knew was the wish to get closer and experience more of this delicious sensation. I could feel Ted’s reaction to my urging, and his arms wrapped around my waist to press my body against his. It was something I had always thought I would never feel. There was no way I could ever have felt like this for Raphael. Even when I had liked him, it was the naïve crush of a young girl. This longing with Ted was something that held promise; even I could tell that in my bubble of pleasure.

All too soon, Ted pulled away, his breathing hard and fast, like mine.

“No,” I breathed, unable to muster enough breathe for a vehement refusal.

Wanting more, I tried to pull his lips back down toward mine, still caught up in the haze of pleasure and lust. He shook his head at me, smiling slightly though there was seriousness in his gaze that set me on edge. Silently, he waited, and sure enough, the rampaging emotions faded, though they did not disappear. That only made me more aware that they had been there all along, for I didn’t feel fuller because of them. My arms dropped to my sides, though his stayed looped around my waist in a looser hold than before.

Slowly, as if to prepare both himself and me, Ted leaned forward until his forehead was touching mine. His eyes closed at the touch, and I felt my breathe catch at his closeness.

“Dromeda, w�”” His voice cracked, and he swallowed visibly. Ted’s eyes stayed closed, as if he didn’t trust himself to look at me, and I could feel his breathing on my cheeks.

I waited for him, still itching to be closer, but respecting what he wanted. When he still hadn’t said anything, I couldn’t wait any longer.

“Yes?”

His eyes flew open at the sound of my voice, and I found myself smiling at it. As if to memorize my face, his gaze roamed over the angles of my face before his eyes slid closed once again. He took a deep, steadying breathe, and began again.

“Dromeda, I�”I mean�”what’s�”,” He tried and stopped, tried and stopped, seemingly unable to find the words he wanted. “Dromeda, where does this leave us?”

His question baffled and surprised me, and I blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “In each other’s arms.”

My cheeky words won a smile, though he still seemed unwilling to look me in the eyes. In the silence that followed, I thought furiously, and quickly. What kind of answer did he want? I didn’t know, and I didn’t know what to say because of it.

“I don’t know,” I finally answered thoughtfully. “Friends still, I suppose.”

Ted let out a deep breath, his confident posture slumping forward as if in defeat. “Friends?” he asked, the derision and anger apparent in his tone. “Friends, after that? After the way we�”the emotions�”your response was�”” He stuttered with his indignity at my unconscious refusal to acknowledge what had just passed.

I stumbled away from his unexpected fury, and his arms first tightened, then dropped away. I felt their absence in the way the cold rushed in to freeze the warm spots where his arms had been. However much I was aware of, my eyes never left his face, staring. Slowly, the tension that had filled his body drained away, and it seemed his shoulders slumped even more in remorse.

“Andromeda, I li�”” he started again, his tone gentle and wondering.

He stopped though at the short, hard shake I gave in response to his beginning. I couldn’t let him say it, couldn’t let him expect a return. There was no way I was able to even hope for a relationship with a wonderful person like him, let alone actually try to have one. It was impossible, inconceivable. The very thought of it was a miracle, but I could see the hurt in his eyes at my rejection.

“Ted, I can’t. I can’t let you try to promise me anything, nor can I say anything in return. I just can’t, you know that.” I tried to say it softly but firmly, without causing more harm. The hurt in his eyes just grew overwhelmingly so, and I looked away from his gaze.

I felt him take a deep breath, as if to speak, when I noticed Aveline running across the grounds towards our usual hiding place. I felt fear and horror leap into my heart, making me start to shiver with something more than the cold. Her dash caused some heads to turn, and I feared pursuit or suspicion in the eyes that followed her towards us. Her hand was waving a piece of paper in the air, and I could tell that she was yelling, though we could not yet hear her voice. I nudged Ted, still avoiding his gaze and pointed towards the figure of his best friend.

“Ted!” she yelled, her voice still faint from that distance.

I felt him straighten up from where my hand still rested against his arm, and he jerked his arm away. The movement seemed to send a message; he didn’t want to have anything to do with me. I turned my head even further away from him, glancing up towards the castle. Although I couldn’t see anything, I felt another violent shiver of fear run down my spine.

I sensed rather than felt Ted’s movement, and felt his arms wrap gently around my shoulders from behind. At his kind gesture, I felt warmth for this kind, forgiving young man.

Finally, Aveline reached us, slipping into the little grove with some mild difficulty. She opened her mouth to speak, saw our pose with some astonishment, and then closed her mouth. I felt Ted nod his head once, and Aveline began, looking apologetic and worried.

“Andromeda, Raphael is looking for you with a vengeance. Someone told him she was on the seventh floor, and then spelled the staircases to skip over the seventh floor entrance.”

She smiled with pride at the mention of spell work, and I knew she had been the one to do it. I felt a pang of regret that Aveline and I would never get to know each other well. She was only kind to me out of kindness for Ted, and I could tell that his closeness to me worried her.

“Right, thanks Aveline,” Ted spoke up, his arms dropping from around me.

Another shiver of fear ran down my spine, but I forced my head up and my shoulders back into the Slytherin posture of pride. I shot a glance at Aveline, and caught her eye. Instantly, she looked away from us, still straining her senses towards us.

With a quick look at Ted’s face from under my eyelashes, I felt a pang of hurt and sorrow at the look on it. He looked haughty, an expression I was more used to on Raphael than Ted. I grabbed one of his hands, drawing it up towards my chest. Softly, I pressed it to my heart, in the only communication I could manage at the moment. Still he held his aloofness, with only a flicker of softening before his expression hardened again. Sighing, I dropped his hand, and left the pair of them.

I almost made it out of our secret spot without looking back, but something made me turn at the last point. It was the worst moment to do so, for I saw Ted’s face crumble into an expression of vulnerability, and he buried his face into the waiting shoulder of his beautiful friend.

Shaking my head violently, I dashed back up to the school, unnoticed in my dark clothes and silent passage. It was best not to leave Raphael waiting, as I knew well. Even through my fear, I could not help remembering the slash of jealousy through my sadness when I had seen Ted turn to the ever lovely Aveline. It was absolutely uncalled for, and though I tried to reason with myself, it didn’t matter much. Never before had I felt much jealousy when it came to a guy. Maybe in regards to my sisters, but never towards a relationship of mine. Nothing had ever called for it.

It was with such thoughts in my head that Raphael finally found me. His face was changed in his anger, but it was still the face of an avenging angel. There was no denying that Raphael was indeed a handsome young man, one that I should be proud to have claimed me. But I only felt fear when I saw him, and saw a rather bleak future ahead of me as his less than stunning trophy wife. I was only worth having because of my bloodlines, and I knew that even when I saw the lust in his eyes at the sight of me.

Even in his anger, I saw the ever familiar desire leap into being in his dark eyes, and tried to keep from wincing away from him. I kept my back straight, my chin up, but I let my eyes close with the suffering patience he hated so much to see. That was my habitual way of waiting his anger out, but this time, something inside me snapped.

“Where have you been, you little whore?” His lips curled upward in a sneer on the word whore, and I felt my heart skip a beat in fear.

“Surely not selling your services out on the grounds? Why not just stay in the common room? You should have been with me! There will be no more of this wandering off because it pleases you. You will be seen, and you will be seen with me.” His voice had dropped to a hissing whisper, reminding me of the animal who symbolized our House.

Opening my eyes, I shot him a cold hearted glare, my jaw tensed in the overwhelming sense of resentment towards him and everything he stood for. He seemed to balk a little at my unusual show of spirit, but continued anyways on his rant. Even so, the spark of lust flared unexpectedly, and I felt contempt towards him. It was so strong, it almost overwhelmed the fear.

“I do not want to see you with anyone outside of our House. Besides, you know how much I want you,” he said suggestively, wrapping an arm around my waist to press me up against him.

Panic flickered in my mind, for I knew overpowering this young man was out of the question. I didn’t want to be this close to him, and I leaned as far as I could from his leering face. Instead of getting annoyed, his anger melted, and he laughed at my attempts to get away from him. He had always been a sick young boy, and things certainly weren’t different now.

His face came closer, and I felt him backing me up to a wall. The panicked sense rose, and I tried to keep my face neutrally blank. I had no where to lean, and he buried his face in my shoulder, pressing hard kisses on the sensitive skin on my neck. My hormones kicked in, confusing me further as I fought for control of the situation and myself. It wasn’t that I was attracted to him, but Raphael knew what made a girl respond, and he was trying hard to get me to do just that.

Getting frantic, I lifted my foot and dug my heel as far as I could into the top of his foot. Almost immediately, he sprang back from me, leaving me room to whirl away from him. As I did so, I pulled my wand from my sleeve and pointed it levelly at his chest. Both of us were breathing hard; he in lust, I in fear. Surprising me again, he laughed, a belly deep laugh with a touch of seduction to it. I shivered, setting my face into a hard glare. There was no way he’d win this, just by being who he was.

“Oh, darling Andy, do put that way. We both know you haven’t got the heart to do anything to me,” he chuckled, watching me with amusement.

I shook my head, my hand trembling slightly, but more or less steady. “Raphael, just shut up.” His face hardened at the unconcealed contempt in my voice, but I kept speaking.

“I do not have any sort of feelings about you, as I told you back in the fall. As I’ve told you multiple times in the past few years. I couldn’t ever love a heartless fiend such as you. You would just as much use me as like me. You do nothing that does not directly benefit you,” I spat at him, holding up a hand to stop his budding protest.

“Oh, don’t deny it. I’m not stupid, much as my family may disagree.” Adding this, I could see his temper rising.

“Oh, but my sweet naïve Andy, you really are quite clueless. You should not fight the inevitable. We will end up together in the end; you haven’t any choice. I won’t forget this when we’re married,” he added with obvious malice in his voice.

I could only listen in horror to his words. If what he said was true, my life would be beyond miserable. I would have no where to turn at all. I could see that future all to well, looking into his dark face. My resolve was weakening thinking of what was to come, but I tried valiantly, thinking of the resolute Ted back in the clearing.

“It won’t. I refuse to let my life be kept out of my control. I do have a choice. It is you who resents that. We shall never marry at all. It is you who lives in a dream world.” Even to my own ears, my voice sounded uncertain.

His lips curled up in a smirk, a confident smile, as he sensed an easy victory from there. I could read it on his face, and I glared at him in resentment for making me doubt myself further than usual.

“Ah, a wonderful future, is it not? It will be glorious, you and I.” He sounded so smug; the trembling of my hand increased out of fury.

“You still don’t dare. Andy, we both know what your family would say…,” he trailed off, letting me ponder the words I was sure to hear from them if I uttered the spell that waited on my pursed lips.

In that moment of my hesitation, he leapt at me, easily overpowering me. My wand disappeared into a pocket of his robe, and I was dragged off to the common room. There, as he had before, he would make a show of dominance for his buddies. I would make a show of being one of the ever proud Black daughters, cold and hard and unemotional, no matter how I felt inside. I could only hope he wouldn’t keep me at his side until the late hours of the night…

-----------

“Andy, darling! Where have you been?” exclaimed Noreen.

She had spotted us almost immediately, and her too loud voice called attention to the fact that Raphael had his arm around my waist possessively. I winced inwardly, automatically adopting the poise and attitude that only one of the Black sisters could command.

“Just taking a little stroll; the cold did her little heart good,” answered Raphael, before I could even think up a plausible excuse.

Noreen laughed, a shrill sound that had always grated on my nerves. “She does have quite the cold act, doesn’t she?”

I fought the urge to roll my eyes. Oh sure, mock away, Noreen. I wouldn’t forget that. Acting my part, I dug up a smile for her, letting Raphael exchange his hold for hers. He knew I wouldn’t risk anything in the common room. It was one thing in the corridors when no one of importance could see. It was something else entirely in front of the children of my parent’s closest friends. Each and every one of them could let slip something in a letter home and that would be the end of the relative freedom I did have. Covering a sigh, I followed Noreen’s lead as she gathered me into the group gathered around the fireplace.

It reminded me of Ted’s stories about being Muggle. They had these exclusive clubs where only the rich �“ especially the old rich �“ families were admitted. Ted believed the purebloods of the wizard world were no better than the old rich of the Muggle world. The thought brought a genuine smile to my lips, just in time to respond to a joke at the expense of one of the blokes. I felt Raphael’s calculating gaze on me. I knew he was planning how to cover his tracks if there was another scene like earlier, if I felt another spark of spirit and anger.

Ignoring him, I turned to Darcy Lyon, a girl I had long held in contempt. It was she who embodied the truth that every friend was an enemy, and every enemy was plotting your downfall for their gain. I almost lost my cool to see her preening for Raphael. She always had her eye on him, especially since fifth year when she managed to have a fling with the infamous Raphael. Calling up the cattiness I developed because of these girls, I smiled wide as I watched the fluttering eyelashes, the fidgeting hands and directly seductive gaze.

“So, Darcy, do tell me; are you still going after men who would rather know a Mudblood than be with you?” I let the words drop slowly, softly, savoring them. I put all my pent up emotion towards Raphael behind them. It was my habit to strike with venom behind sugar coated words.

It took a moment for the words to sink past her seduction, but when they did, the effect was instantaneous. Her colorless eyes focused on me as the sharp, pointed features of her face came out in stark relief. Anger flashed, but she hid it quickly. Forcing a laugh, Darcy fell short of answering my smile.

“Ah, but it’s not I who chases them; it is they who chase me. I can’t help it if their supposed girlfriends can’t satisfy.”

I laughed at her, maybe even laughing with her. She had no idea just how right she was, so I patted her knee and went along as if it were a personal joke between the two of us. I didn’t have anything more to say and turned my attention to the group at large only to see the suspicion on Raphael’s face.

He was unwilling to see the results of this and called attention to himself as an attempt to separate us and gain control over me. “Darcy dear, would you allow me to steal away Andy? I’ve been quite�“” here his look turned lascivious “�”destitute without her all day.”

This, of course, amused the guys quite thoroughly as they �“ along with everyone else �“ believe we were quite the amorous couple. “Come here, Andy.” The command was unmistakable after my short hesitation to respond.

Unable to lose face in front of this group, I went to him, settling on the arm of the couch. I brushed my hand over his hair, imagining it was Ted’s soft blonde hair that I touched. It was the only bearable way; more and more I found that I was relying on Ted to get me through things I had been okay with before. Not that Ted knew it; it was a secret I kept to myself. He gave me hope of overcoming my upbringing. So convinced was I, it almost unbalanced me to feel Raphael’s arm slip around my waist. I bit my lip to hold in the warring emotions in my head.

“Smoothly done,” I whispered into his ear, allowing the warmth of my breath to brush over the sensitive skin there.

The responding shudder made it all the worthwhile, knowing I was torturing him and Darcy at once. His grip tightened as he reined in his lust. The smugness at my control felt nice, almost soothing after the burn of desire and the flames of hatred.

“What were you and Darcy talking about?” He didn’t even bother keeping his voice low, drawing more attention to us.

I dug up a smile, looking him squarely in the eyes as I let the lie drop from my lips. “Oh, she was helping me decide what to get you for your birthday. I managed to narrow it down to two things and I wanted her input.”

His nearly black eyes tightened at the corners, the only sign of his suspicion but otherwise, completely the same was ever. He turned his gaze from me to glance at Darcy whose expression was just as smooth as mine. “Well, what did you girls decide?”

“Why, I told her to get you both things of course. You’ll love them. They’re just perfect for you. I can only hope the rest of us can get anything near as well matched.”

I hadn’t realized just how well Slytherins have perfected the art of lying until Darcy went along with mine without batting a lash. I didn’t give her a relieved smile or a sign of gratitude. I simply fell into the role I had been assigned, listening and responding as the hours wore away into the night. I fought the urge to curl up into Raphael’s side in my exhaustion, but settled for letting him hold me up. Before long, I was unable to cover up my exhaustion and a yawn slipped out. It drew the attention of most of the group, and Raphael smiled smugly.

“Excuse me, it seems I am a bit tired.”

Everyone laughed, not quite kindly, but Raphael motioned for me to rise. “Go on to bed. Exhaustion becomes no one, not even you.”

The snide words would usually have ruffled my pride as everyone did nothing to hide their excited reactions at the insult. On this particularly night after such a long day, I shrugged and left the group.

No one flagged me down and I made it to the dorms quickly. In the relative silence of the dorm, I could only let out a deep breathe that I felt like I held forever. I could still hear the rest of them in the common room, their voices raised in a laughing debate. It sounded so innocent, at least until I focused on the actual words. That was my world down there, but I wasn’t willing to accept it anymore. Falling back against the door as I closed it, I took a deep breath to relax as I slid down to the floor. I wouldn’t be expecting anyone here soon.

“Oh, I’ve got just the thing!” yelled Darcy as she ran up the short flight of stairs.

I could hear her rapid footsteps through the thick door. Slightly panicked, I rose to my feet and very nearly jumped away from the offending object. Darcy couldn’t see me like how I had been; huddled against the door as if to keep everyone out while I fell to pieces. She was sure to carry the news down to the others, her smug fondness of besting me making her relish the scene even more.

Shaking my head, I knew how impossible that would be for me. A daughter of the Black family never behaved so, especially not in public. As Darcy’s approach became louder, I could only think of one thing to do.

I leaped at my bed in quite an undignified behavior, managing to pull the bed curtains shut just as the door opened. Darcy laughed, apparently not caring if she woke me.

“It’s a shame you’re so exhausted, Black. You’re missing all the fun, although who knows what you’ve been up to today,” she said, her tone just shy of friendly, more menacing than anything else.

It made my heart jump at the implication that she might know something. That couldn’t be true. We covered every trace. Fighting down my panic, I gave a low chuckle and tried to keep my voice light when I responded.

“What a shame!” I said sarcastically. As an afterthought, I added, “At least I have the security in knowing Raphael will always be mine,” making a face of rather intense anger at what I was being forced to say. I was thankful that my facial expressions were hidden behind the relative shelter of my bed curtains.

I fell back against my pillows as the conversation lulled, my thoughts on what she had implied. I could hear her moving about getting whatever she came to fetch, taking longer than necessary I thought. The waiting dragged on forever, but finally the door closed behind her. I dragged myself from my bed with the intention of putting on my pajamas after a while.

Whatever my intentions, I was delayed as I noticed Darcy hovering shamelessly by the door, hoping to catch me in some vulnerability. I didn’t give it much thought as I pulled out my wand and aimed a jinx at her. It was unfortunate that she managed to drag the door shut before it hit her.

I just stood there a while, watching the door. The fight was draining out of me and I just felt overwhelmed with it all. It was almost a thoughtless process when I turned to my trunk, pulled on my pajamas and crawled into the safety of my bed. I just let the day’s events wash over me, not resisting. I didn’t have enough energy to resist. As the scene on the grounds replayed itself, I could feel my eyes prick with tears. Just what I needed, tears of the weak. I was not a crying girl and I didn’t want to give into them. That didn’t stop them from rolling over my lower lashes and down the sides of my face. Brushing at them angrily, I stared at the ceiling intently, hoping the intensity of my focus might force them to stay put.

It wasn’t Ted’s anger or my feelings for him that drew up the tears. It was the look on his face as I walked away, a look of such tender vulnerability I almost turned on my heel to comfort him. It brought out a side in myself that I had only been teased with, never felt. I wanted… more. I wanted to get out of this narrow and close-minded life my family created around us and make my own. I wanted to do it with Ted, even, though I couldn’t tell if it was love. I was simply too mixed up.

Did I feel for him because he was a sign of hope? Did I lose my breath around him because he could help me escape? Did a butterfly sensation erupt in my lower abdomen because he was everything I wasn’t? Did my heart kick into overdrive just because I was attracted to his body?

It was a bit too much to take in: Raphael’s threats, the argument with first Ted then Raphael, the scene on the grounds, the pure emotion I felt around Ted. My head was reeling, feeling as if some unforeseen source had plucked my mind from my body and set it spinning like a top.

Letting out a deep breath, I rolled over and buried my head in my pillow. I didn’t bother moving the strands of hair that got stuck beneath me. Using that discomfort, I tried to ignore the wetness I could feel soaking into the pillowcase beneath my cheeks. I wasn’t crying; it seemed there was just something in both my eyes (and heart, a small voice added) that wouldn’t go away. Closing my eyes didn’t lessen the flow of salt water, but eventually, I could feel the drag of exhaustion on my mind. Sleep was calling, and after this day, I welcomed it gladly.

“Do you want to explain to me what happened back there?” Aveline’s voice sounded suspicious, accusing, and even a little jealous.

I looked at her thoughtfully, noting her annoyed expression and the curiosity in her eyes. At my scrutiny, she scowled.

“Do I sense I bit of jealousy, my love?” I tried to be light hearted, but even I could hear the strain in my voice.

She cracked a slight smile as if to let me know she understood my feeble attempt. However, her expression was one of disbelief and annoyance once the smile disappeared. Silence fell as she tried to stare me down. I fought to keep the innocently blank look on my face, knowing she would see through it all the same.

“Ted, several things. One, that doesn’t fool me. Two, don’t change the subject. Three, that is none of your business anyways,” she said huffily, confirming the theory of her jealousy.

Nevertheless, I bowed my head contritely. “Yes ma’am.”

She couldn’t help smiling, but the look quickly sobered on her face. “Ted…” I held up a hand to cut her off, but she only hesitated before continuing. “Please tell me you don’t like her that way. That all of this is just a little spat between friends, and has nothing at all to do with a relationship.”

Aveline sounded desperate, pleading, which made me only more determined to keep her from knowing the truth. It would only worry and hurt Aveline to know that the soft spoken, spirited girl had somehow wormed her way into my emotions with unassuming ease. She didn’t even seem aware that she had done it, though after today… Surely, she knew that she meant just a little more to me than a friend would.

I turned my head from Av’s intense stare, feeling my well built wall of indifference break. Her hand came down on my arm, pressing with comforting firmness in a familiar gesture. Instead of letting myself be soothed, I jerked my arm and stepped to the side.

I moved away, feeling guilt at my abrupt behavior towards my closest friend. I just needed time alone. Pacing, I tried to think straight, but every thought returned to that moment. It kept replaying, over and over again, in my mind: the sensation filled kiss, the confirmation of what I had already begun to suspect, and the pain of rejection.

As the ache hit home again, I stopped, staring blindly in the general direction Andromeda had left. I didn’t know what to do, or what to say to her…

“It wasn’t just a spat, was it? Something happened today,” Aveline said, sounding resigned to the facts.

She was right, and suddenly, I didn’t feel like denying it anymore. I simply nodded and looked at her.

“Oh, Ted.”

The gentle tone was all it took. I turned to her, wrapping my arms tight around her waist, hiding my face in her shoulder. She stroked my hair and back, saying those pointless things one says to comfort a friend. I choked back a reluctant laugh at that and her hands stilled.

“What?” She sounded annoyed again, earning a grin in her shoulder.

I pulled away, shaking out the emotion and giving her a cheeky grin. The pain was still there, but I wasn’t one to let it take over.

“What?” She put her hands on her hips, her tone demanding.

“It seems the tables have turned, love.” I didn’t wait to see the look on her face. Instead, I turned toward the school. There was no point lingering outside any longer than necessary. “Let’s go in. Want to stop by the kitchens for some food?”

There was a slight pause before she came up to my side, tucking her hand into the crook of my elbow. She gave me a bright smile.

“Sure. That sounds great.”

I smiled in return and led the way. It was good to have friends.

----------------------------------------------

“I give up,” I muttered, rolling onto my back.

Sleep eluded me. Hours had passed as I tried to find it, but my mind wouldn’t stop. I tried everything I could think of. I even tried counting sheep, a Muggle method Mum encouraged me try when I was little. What really helped was her counting the sheep with me.

I let out a breath, sitting up. Lying in bed wasn’t helping. Sitting in bed wouldn’t help for that matter. I slipped out off the mattress, put on some slippers, and left the room. None of the others stirred and no one was in the common room. I was thankful for that. I just needed to think.

Andromeda Black. For nearly six full years, we barely paid attention to each other’s existence. Well… I tried anyways. I knew about her on-again-off-again relationship with Raphael. It always seemed so one sided to me, but then, I always thought Andromeda didn’t quite fit the Slytherin mold. That was my problem. I thought about her over the years. I shouldn’t have. I couldn’t stop myself.

I was her friend, had been since our first year and that one month of friendship. Distance hadn’t changed that. I think maybe she knew that. Maybe that’s why it was so easy…

No. It was easy because she had something in her that was strong and captivating. It was easy because I was attracted to her.

I was attracted her. I knew that already.

We never were set out to be friends this time around though. I could see it in retrospect. I felt it now. What I felt for Andromeda Black was not as benign as friendship. It scared her.

To be honest, it scared me.

No. Scared isn’t the right word. Worried. It worried me. There was barely even the barest wisp of possibility for a relationship, but that’s what I wanted. I worried I wouldn’t recover from this as well as the others. There was just more to this. That’s when I realized.

I wasn’t giving up.

It scared her, fine. She was Slytherin after all; her self-preservation instincts were just kicking in. Well, preservation of what she knew anyways. That wasn’t going to stop me though. I was a Hufflepuff after all. Persistent was one of our traits. Because I knew I wanted her. I wanted to at least try because I knew something, something, was there between us.

I felt it now. I felt it so many times about so many things; it was almost dizzying to pick a place to start. Was there even a start and end to it?

I smiled at that. It didn’t matter. The fact was I felt it in the first place. Andromeda didn’t have a chance. I’d give her time if that’s what she needed. I wasn’t giving up on her. My smile grew wider and I squared my shoulders. It felt good to make a decisi�“

“Oomph!”

“Bloody hell!” It was an annoyed voice, though I’d know it anywhere.

I just barely caught myself from being knocked down, recoiling from the collision. “Dromeda?” I caught her arms to steady her, peering down at her.

“Ted?” She sounded as shocked as I was.

I stared at her, frowning a bit and ignoring the irregular beat of my heart. The jolt from seeing her, my decision, the reminder of her rejection set me on edge, brushing away some of the elation at finally deciding.

Wait, what was she doing out at this hour?
My frown deepened and I could see that unsettled her. Surprise was giving away to anxiety on her face and she looked away from me. I felt an echo of the burn from her rejection at that. She couldn’t even look at me.

A few moments passed and she would sneak a peek at me from the corner of her eye every now and then. Her face closed off, falling into her customary haughty expression. I waited, not knowing what to expect. When nothing was forthcoming, I turned away as well. Now wasn’t the time to tell her about my choice anyway.

As I walked away, it felt like the wrong thing to do. I should wait, be patient, but with that expression, I wasn’t exactly being invited.

“Ted, wait!” It was the plaintive quality to her voice that made me turn around and look.

It was the first time I took in what she was wearing, or rather her lack thereof. Thin trousers, thin enough I could see the outline of her legs in them even in the darkness, and such a loose shirt, it fell off her shoulder to expose a surprising amount of skin. In the darkness, the colors were impossible to tell, but I barely spared a thought for that. Desire pooled warm and strong in my stomach as I looked at her. With her usually styled hair mussed and impossibly curly from sleep, and that look �“ oh that look �“ on her face, I couldn’t have walked away if I wanted to.

Her look said things I wasn’t sure I could decipher. There was desperation and pride, fear, determination, and was that hope? She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. This time I waited. Andromeda straightened up, pushing back her shoulders in a way not too different from myself a few moments ago. Her eyes opened and I found myself caught by the intensity of her gaze.

“Ted, I�”I know I hurt you. I’m sorry for that. I�”I didn’t�”I didn’t think. Or maybe that’s my problem. I think too much. I end up running through all the scenarios and consequences and all the little what ifs and�”“

She gasped and closed her eyes again as I reached up and stroked her cheek, caressed her soft pale skin all the way down to her shoulder, the swell of her breast just inches from my fingertips. She caught my hand, but didn’t move it. She just stroked the top of it with her thumb before releasing the breath she held.

“I can’t think when you’re doing that,” she said, sounding bemused. “I have a hard time thinking around you at all for that matter, but I have to get this out.”

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak, before realizing her eyes were still closed. I had to clear my throat before I could get words out and it came out deeper than normal. “Okay.”

Her eyes flew open but her expression gave nothing away until she smiled. “Can you behave yourself?” I just nodded, not even able to summon up a smile for once.

“I may have a hard time thinking with you around, but when you’re not, it’s all I can do. And I panic. ‘Bout everything. ‘Bout you, ‘bout Raphael, ‘bout my family. Because I don’t want to hurt you.” The intensity in her voice grew as she looked away. “I don’t ever want to hurt you, but I did.” She gave me a look that dared me to challenge her next words. “To be honest, I wouldn’t change it. It�”It made�”No, it pushed me to choose.

“I like you Ted. Friendship never really was an option for us, though I tried to make it one.” She stopped and gave me a stare I didn’t even try to understand. “Why haven’t you tried to interrupt me?”

Her suspicious tone made me laugh. “Because I agree with you.”

“You do?”

Her eyebrows and voice shot up in surprise. I nodded and smiled at her. “Friendship was and is never going to happen between us�”“ Her face fell, but was masked almost immediately “�”because you’re Slytherin and I’m Hufflepuff. You’re a pureblood and I’m Muggleborn. It will never work because it simply isn’t enough for us… well, me.”

I amended my last word after a moment’s thought on it. I couldn’t presume to know how she felt. Andromeda hadn’t told me yet. The look on her face told me something though. It grew more animated as she let out another deep breath.

“Exactly!” she said, startling me with the amount of feeling behind that one word. She took a step toward me, shifting my hand from her shoulder to her waist. Something inscrutable flitted across her face as my hand ran down her side and I wondered if it was anything like what I was feeling.

“I’m terrified to be with you. Not of you, mind you, but everyone else. Do you remember Bella during our first year? I don’t want that. If one of them �“ No I won’t even say it…”

Dromeda shook her head as if erasing those thoughts. She didn’t say any more and finally, I felt compelled to prompt her.

“What are you saying Dromeda?”

When she finally answered me, her voice was soft and shy. I had to smile at that; self-confident and strong, Andromeda was anything but shy.

“I want you,” she said, looking up at me. Her gaze was so serious my smile slipped off my lips. It sent a shiver down my spine.

“You want me?”

I sounded doubtful, though it wasn’t my intention. Her eyes flashed as she snapped back at me.

“Yes, I want you! I wouldn’t be here in this hallway if I didn’t. I would be able to sleep if I didn’t. I would be able to be the good little Black daughter if I didn’t. Bloody hell Ted! I would not be standing here waiting for you to kis�”“

I stopped her fast flow of words the only way I knew how: I kissed her. I took a step forward as she yelled at me, slipped my hand further around her waist. I put my other hand on the back of her neck, my fingers tangling in her hair, and pulled her into my body. My lips met hers, and though I tried to be gentle, I was not as gentle as I could have been in that first fast kiss.

Andromeda froze, all her muscles tensing. When I went in for a second kiss, her body seemed to melt into mine with a tiny little noise, but it was enough. I kissed her until neither of us had breath left to spare. Her eyes were closed still as her chest rose and fell against mine and our short breaths mingled between us. One hand had worked its way into my hair while her other hand gripped my shoulder tightly. Every inch of our body seemed to fit together as we pressed against each other.

It was enough to incite an inward moan of hunger.

“Better?” I asked her as calmly as I could, quelling the urge to kiss her again, at least momentarily. She nodded, her eyes expression almost unchanging from the end of the kiss. Those slightly parted lips were doing my control no favors.

“Look at me,” I said softly. I stroked her cheek, ran my thumb over her eyelashes, and tightened my grip on her waist with my other hand. Slowly she opened her eyes. Andromeda looked dazed, her eyes taking a moment to focus on my face. When she did, I had to suck in a breath at the feeling that came over me.

“I want to try. I’m patient and I’ll let you lead, but this… This is not nothing and I won’t walk away from it without trying.”

She gave a low chuckle and a slow smile that set my blood racing. “What about my choice?”

My smile was playful, almost cheeky when I answered her. “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.”