Narcissa sat on the edge of her bed. Tears flowed down her soft, pale cheek. Her mind was wandering back to a little over a week ago when she and her sister were called to an audience with the Dark Lord. It was then that he had given her the dreadful news about the plan. This was only made worse by her sister reacting almost joyously and saying, “How happy he’ll be to receive such an honor.� It all had made her want to burst into tears. But what burned in her mind was the look on the Dark Lord’s face as he said to her, “This is to be discussed with no one. Heed my command.�

She needed something to distract her mind. She walked across the master bedroom to her personal library. Her finger scanned the many different colored bindings. She stopped in front of a large green book with Precious Memories printed in gold lettering on the side. She pulled out her favorite album and carried it with her to the edge of her bed once again. It had the look of wear on it from the continuous use it had been recently receiving. It had almost become a nighttime ritual for Narcissa to look at the pictures of her past.

Her tender, pallid hand turned to the middle of the old scrapbook. A young girl in a bright white wedding dress stood smiling at her. She often twirled, showing how the dress showed off her very slim figure. Narcissa could never forget the joy she felt on that special day. Her pale blonde hair flew elegantly and freely in the air. Her eyes moved to the next picture of a young man. Tall, handsome, and well-built, Lucius continued to fuss with his expensive black and green dress robes. He even wore a Slytherin badge which Narcissa thought was silly, but young Lucius’s pride was hard to stop.

In the next photo, the happy bride continually hugged and kissed her groom. He, in return, just smiled—simple, yet bright. It was one of the most satisfying smiles Narcissa had ever seen in her life, considering her husband wasn’t one to smile often. She wasn’t sure if she would ever be able to see him like that again—joyful, young, carefree. Too many years of power, greed, and service had turned Lucius’s heart cold. He was secretive and sometimes unfeeling. It seemed like he had detached himself from the world and everyone around him, even those he loved.

Her hand reached to turn the page, but she hesitated. She didn’t know if she could handle it. The next section of the scrapbook was her favorite: Draco’s childhood. How she loved her only son. It seemed as if she was the only one who knew how lucky she was to even have him. She couldn’t stand to give away her only child to them.

She took a deep breath as her hand turned the page. Tears began to flow rapidly down her cheek as she saw herself exhausted lying in a hospital bed and smiling as she held her newborn son. Even exhausted, Narcissa had the biggest smile as she held the precious newborn.
They couldn’t take her son away from her now. They never loved him like she did. They never cared for him or comforted him when he was frightened. She had worked so hard to have Draco and now they were going to put his life on the line.

The Dark Lord himself had never accomplished it and now he expected a teenager to finish it for him? Narcissa knew his ulterior motives. She needed to ask for help. But from who? If only her husband was with her. He was always so calm and practical. He always knew precisely what to do.

Narcissa looked back down at the book in front of her, and her eyes led her to a very different picture. Lucius was smiling and talking to his companion who was holding Draco. But Narcissa’s focus was not on her son or her husband but on the man beside Lucius.

Even as a young adult Severus Snape’s hair was long, black, and slightly greasy. His long black robes almost clashed with Lucius’s exquisite silver and emerald ones. His eyes stayed solely on the small child in his arms. Gleaming in Severus’s eye was a sense of wonder and care. Narcissa had known that Severus had wanted a child of his own, but never knew why he was so obstinate towards finding the girl for him. After all he had been young back then. Instead, he found a fondness for the Malfoys’ son.

Then the idea occurred to her. Why had she not thought of it before? Lucius trusted Severus with his own life. Narcissa knew she could trust anybody her own husband held so highly. And not only that, but Severus was the Dark Lord’s most trusted advisor. He would be able to answer some of her burning questions and possibly help her son.

She stood ready to leave but that cold voice echoed in her head.

“This is to be discussed with no one. Heed my command.�

She needed advice desperately. Though she wasn’t fond of it, she had to see her sister first. As Narcissa closed the album and put it back on the shelf, she had a feeling that it would be a long night.

The room was dark except for the single ember of a candle. Draco stood in front of the mirror that sat in his room. It was late, and he was sure his mother was all ready asleep. He was examining his defined facial features and sharp cheek bones. He drifted back to his younger years when he was just beginning at Hogwarts. Those days were long gone and Draco found he had grown immensely since then—physically and mentally.

He stared into his own gray eyes and couldn’t help but see his father staring back, causing him to turn away. His own father, who he had held so highly, failed to do a simple task. Now his father was rotting in a jail cell while his mother wept every night. Draco knew he was the only one who could regain respect to the Malfoy name.

Thoughts of that evening some time ago whirled inside his head—the masks, the dark cloaks, those vivid red snake eyes. It all seemed so surreal, yet he had proof that it all was true. Draco slowly rolled up his left sleeve. The light shone off of the pale flesh of his forearm. Among the pale white skin sat an intricate design of red. The image of the skull with the serpent protruding like a tongue sparkled like blood in the dim candlelight. He found it hard to believe that just a little over a week ago it had not been there.

It all was pretty fresh in his mind. He had stood in the center of a group of Death Eaters, each one holding a candle in their hands. Each had their dark cloaks draped over their heads and their masks glowed in the light of the candles. In the center with him was the Dark Lord himself. Draco found it hard to look into those red snake eyes.

“I smell fear.� The Dark Lord spoke in that high, cold voice. “Are you afraid to look at me, Draco?� Draco stared into his face. It looked so unnatural—the deathly white skin, the flat nose with slits as nostrils, and those scarlet eyes.

“No,� Draco replied sounding less confident than he wanted.

“Are you ready to swear full allegiance and will to me?� Draco knew that he had passed the point of no return. By backing down, he would only disgrace his family and let down his father. He had to atone for his father’s failure.

“Yes,� he said a little more clearly.

“Then let the ceremony begin.� Voldemort took Draco’s left arm into his skeleton-like hand. All around them, the Death Eaters began to chant an ancient incantation. Voldemort drew his wand and touched Draco’s forearm with it. It took all of Draco’s concentration and will not to scream from the pain. It felt like being cut open by a shearing hot piece of metal. He kept thinking about his aunt telling him to make sure he made no sound and kept looking into the Dark Lord’s eyes. Voldemort continued to draw the Dark Mark on Draco’s arm without losing his focus on Draco’s eyes.

Suddenly, the chanting and pain disappeared. It seemed to Draco that he was coming closer into those unchanging eyes. He was almost falling into them. Draco found himself standing on a stretch of grass that made its way to an enormous, familiar-looking castle. He was back at Hogwarts leading multitudes of Death Eaters into the school. As he continued to march towards the front doors, many of them were congratulating him on his plan to get them into the school. When they opened the doors to the Entrance Hall, spells started to fly. Whizzing toward them came multiple colors from the wands of the students and staff. Most of the Death Eaters responded with green and Draco saw several people on the opposing side fall to the ground.

Instead of joining in the chaos, his legs led him past the line of fire with relative ease. He continued to run down corridors and up stairways. He had no clue what it was he was running to or from until his body made an abrupt stop. He found himself facing Dumbledore. The professor looked back at Draco with a kind of questioning in his blue eyes. Instinctively, he raised his wand toward the headmaster and said a spell. Rushing from the end of his wand, a green light shot at the professor who fell on the floor, dead.

Draco felt a jolting shock and found himself face-to-face with Voldemort once again. He noticed that it had become silent. Voldemort gave him a sly smile. Draco heard him say, “You know what you must do,� yet Voldemort’s mouth never moved. Continuing as if nothing happened, the Dark Lord lifted Draco’s left arm showing the fresh, burning red tattoo to his other disciples.

“Meet your new, fellow servant.� They all bowed and moved, creating a spot for Draco to join them. Then, one-by-one, each person walked up to Voldemort, kneeled in front of him, kissed the hem of his robes, and Disapparated back to their homes. Bellatrix walked off to the side after her departing gesture. She removed her mask but continued to gaze at the Dark Lord almost affectionately. After everyone else had gone, Draco walked up to Voldemort, kissed the hem, and turned to depart with his aunt. But not before Voldemort stopped them.

“Don’t disappoint me, Draco. Don’t be like your father.� Immediately afterwards, he disappeared and Draco was alone with his aunt and his aching arm. She smiled at him and took his hand and they both disappeared into the night.

Narcissa quickly changed out of her nightgown and into more suitable traveling clothes. Her legs carried her across the room as her arms grabbed at the various items she needed—wand, cloak. Narcissa was highly unaware of her actions for her mind was taking her back. Back to when she had been younger and freer.

Nearly 17 years ago she had been sitting in the drawing room, staring. Her husband had been pacing back and forth. On the table sat a small cauldron.

“Is it done yet?� asked Lucius anxiously.

“You know it has to boil for exactly twenty minutes,� Narcissa replied.

“I never understood why this potion takes so long.�

Narcissa looked down at her special Potions timer. Ten seconds left. She put her gloves on, poised to take it off at the exact second. Three…two…one. Her hands lunged at it like a cobra attacking its prey—precise and quick.

There’s no way this can be faulty, thought Narcissa. She set it down on the table and put out the fire with her wand.

“Finally,� sighed Lucius, who sat in the chair across from his wife.

She picked up the knife she had used to chop up the ingredients. Using her wand, she cleaned it instantly. She then rested the point on the tip of her finger and sliced. Deep red blood flowed from the fresh wound. Placing her finger above the recently concocted potion, she added three drops of blood. A puff of smoke issued from the solution, yet neither flinched. Each knew that the real results would take a few minutes longer. Narcissa casually grasped a small vial and placed a drop on the bloodied cut which healed instantly.

“What if,� stuttered Lucius, “it comes out negative?�
Narcissa turned her head away as if disgusted by the very idea. She had worked so hard to have a child.

No…they both had.

She was astounded by how their hard work could be so wasted. Married for nearly six years and not a single child. They had tried everything—natural, fertility charms, fertility potions, ancient rituals. Once they each had a little sip of Felix Felicis. Lucius was elected a governor of Hogwarts and Narcissa found an unclaimed bag of Galleons. But she easily would have traded all the Galleons in the Wizarding world for a child.

“Honey, something’s happening,� spoke Lucius, waking her from her trance. They both stared at the cauldron as its contents began to bubble.

Let there be a blue circle, thought Narcissa. In the anticipation, she hadn’t noticed she had crossed her fingers which she thought to be an ugly Muggle tradition. A sudden flash of bright light exploded from the cauldron. It always took them a second to recover from the blinding flash, but what they saw did not relieve them. Floating in the air was a red X. It sat there in space almost taunting the couple. Narcissa couldn’t help but shed a tear. Lucius got up from his seat and went to comfort her. She hadn’t remembered any words being said. Just the two in a tight embrace, staring at the shape that seemed destined to plague them.


* * *


The next morning all those years ago, Narcissa stood outside of the Lestrange residence. She knocked three times on the old oak door. For a moment, she wondered if the two were gone but soon heard heavy footsteps slowly approach the doorway. The door creaked open so that only an eye could be seen through the slit that was made. Suddenly, the door burst open. In front of her stood Rodolphus Lestrange.

“Hello Narcissa.� Rodolphus spoke deep and blandly.

“Hi, I was wondering if…�

“Hello, dear Cissy.� A woman joined the man at the doorway. Bellatrix’s thick, dark hair always had a beautiful shine. She stood erect and with a sense of pride as if showing herself off.

“It’s nice to see that my dear sister has come to visit me. Come in, Cissy.�

Narcissa walked into a grim living room. Light came in from the dim, grimy windows, but somehow the dark mood of the room lingered. She noticed that the edges of the wallpaper were slowly coming off. In front of the fireplace sat a classy couch with legs like eagle’s talons and armrests like lion’s paws.

“Mum always did have a great taste in furniture,� Bellatrix stated. “Come sit.�

As Narcissa sat on the couch and her sister sat opposite of her, she noticed how Rodolphus continued upstairs. Narcissa often pondered on the two’s relationship. Her parents would never allow Bella to go through life unmarried, and Rodolphus was the only person that she couldn’t find anything to loathe. It was blatantly clear, though, that the two didn’t have even a scrap of affection toward each other.

“Why so long for my sister to drop by to visit?� Bella asked. She said it with a grin, but the point was all too clear.

“Well…,� Narcissa thought of how to say it, “it’s about Lucius and me.�

“What? Another argument? Did you find something in the old attic?�

“No, no…� Narcissa almost laughed but stopped at the realization that her sister wasn’t joking.

“Come on, spit it out. You know I was never good at being patient,� Bellatrix complained.

“We’re having problems having a child.� Just saying the words gave Narcissa a pain in her chest.

“Well, why would you want one of those? Wretched, little things they are. Think of it more as a blessing than a curse.�

“Now I know you don’t mean that. And even if you do, I want a child. Someone to love and care for. Someone to guide and protect.�

“Someone to beat when they steal your wand and wreak havoc,� Bella laughed as if the whole conversation was a mere joke.

“I didn’t come for your approval,� Narcissa spoke sternly. “I came to ask for help. I know you know your way through the wizarding alleys and side streets. Can you tell me of somebody who can help me?�

“First you want to bear some bloody, little parasite, and now you want help from some shriveled crone. Wow, Cissy, you sure have stooped down from your world of prestige and class.�

Narcissa stood up. She would not stand for such talk. “Don’t lecture me about stooping down. At least I still act like a lady.�

Bella’s eyes flared as she stood to face her sister. Her face twitched from anger.

“I hardly find hiding behind some man as becoming. And I’m sure mother and father are more proud of me than scared little Cissy and backstabbing Dromy.� Bellatrix bit her tongue hard as if to punish it for saying the childhood nickname of the person she hated the most.

“Did you know that our sister has a child now? She’s had a daughter for about six or seven years now.�

“I HARDLY COUNT SOME HALF-BLOOD FILTH AS A CHILD.�

Narcissa clenched her fists. She knew this was getting nowhere. She felt a drop of water fall down her cheek. Not realizing it, her anger had turned to tears. There was nothing she could do. All she wanted was a family of her own, yet the family she had was falling apart. First, her sister and her rebellious marriage. Next, her husband and his secret escapades. And now her other sister was becoming more distant and colder with each passing year.

She collapsed on the couch. She was losing control of herself.

“Listen,� Bellatrix spoke much softer now, “I don’t know if this will help, but I know an amazing Seer. She’s amazing at these types of things. She also dabbles with homemade remedies and potions. I know she will take care of you, I know it.�

Narcissa looked up. She saw the redness in Bella’s eyes and the moisture that ran from them down her cheeks. Her sister wasn’t one to breakdown. Narcissa knew her sister had realized the rift that was forming between them. Yet, she couldn’t help but smile. Here was two grown women crying like two little school girls.

Narcissa was glad to see that Bella smiled back.