Summary: When Vernon Dursley starts acting like a prat, Hestia Jones begins rapping on him, Missy Elliot style.
Winner of the
MC Kreacher Challenge at Poetry Anyone (MNFF Boards). Rap inspired by and written to the beat of Missy Elliot's
Get Ur Freak On, which I love to bits.
DISCLAIMER: Do you really think J.K.Rowling would write this, though?
Categories: Humor Fics Characters: None
Warnings: None
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 1
Completed: Yes
Word count: 388
Read: 2290
Published: 09/26/11
Updated: 09/26/11
1. Chapter 1 by hestiajones
Drive Your Car On
Hear me, hear me
Hear me, hear me
Your son’s the real git
Yeah he’s the real git
Your son’s the real git
Yeah he’s the real git
HJ gon’ tell you now
Dursley just shut your mouth
Harry’s the hero “ unf
You’re turning purple now
Listen to me now
Cause you know nothin’ ‘bout
The mission of the “Orderrrrrr”
So let me tell you how
Are you freaking out?
‘Cause of the magic now
You should ‘cause I can’t wait to “ hex “ hex “ hex you out
(Vernonnnnn) “ Oh you are screaming loud,
Say ‘bye!’ to Harry now,
Goodbye to Harry now.
Drive your car on, right
Drive your car on, right
Drive your car on, right
Drive your car on, right
Drive your car on, right
Drive your car on, right
Drivuh- drivuh-drivuh- drive your car on, right
I’m that witch!
Where’re we gonna go?
Me and Diggle here been asked to save your asses, bro
Death Eaters on the prowl, yes they’re on the prowl,
You wanna see them (Vernonnnn?) I’ll give ya’ll a show
(Kidding!)
But don’t tempt me ‘cause,
Really don’t like you Durs,
No I don’t like you Durs,
And when it’s over gonna hook you up with a curse.
Drive your car on, right
Drive your car on, right
Drive your car on, right
Drive your car on, right
Drive your car on, right
Drive your car on, right
Drivuh- drivuh-drivuh- drive your car on, right
Vernon!
Stop it now,
Wipe that sweat … off your brow
Or I can, dry it with my
Wand again.
Vernon!
You’re stuck with me,
Gotta live on, so
Just stick with me.
Stop driving…
Sloppily.
This ride’s your destiny.
Just say you get it now,
I’m ‘bout to lose it now,
And when I lose it (Ow!)
I am really a cow,
You can see from my scowl,
I’m not your usual owl,
Cause when I get it on,
You’re gonna take a bow.
Drive your car on, right
Drive your car on, right
Drive your car on, right
Drive your car on, right
Drive your car on, right
Drive your car on, right
Drivuh- drivuh-drivuh- drive your car on, right
End Notes:
Hope it gave you a laugh. Thanks for reading.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.