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You Smell! You Stink! But, I Like You, I Think... by MartiOwlsten

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Chapter Notes: And so, the madness begins! It has been officially announced that there will be a Masqued Ball at Hogwarts, and everyone is abuzz with talk of clothes, music, and... dates. Part one of three about and leading up to the Masquerade. Read and review!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, Hogwarts, or anything created by J.K.R. However, I do own Marti, Andran, and all their friends, and they are not to be used without my permission. If I give you permission, as I have for a few friends, that’s cool.
Thank you, and enjoy the fic.




Masquerade: Part One: Dates

So, news went out about Hogwarts quicker than fire that the Prefects had planned a Masquerade for the older students to take place on Halloween night, after the traditional Halloween feast. The feast was moved up an hour, and for those students, who would be attending, curfew had been extended until 1 am “ how they managed to get that approved from McGonagall, I’ll never know.

Gryffindor House was excited as ever “ perhaps even more excited than the other Houses, if such a thing was possible. The instant the official announcement was made, all the girls squealed and started gabbering about dresses and me, along with several other Gryffindor boys, groaned slightly.

Oh, sure, I was excited about a ‘dance’, since Hogwarts only has them once in a while, the last one being when I was a second year and therefore wasn’t old enough to attend (from what I heard, dances weren’t at all sanctioned at Hogwarts at all until the newer teachers, like Potter and Granger, came to teach, after the fall of the dark wizard Voldemort. I think Potter was the one to suggest it, I’m not too sure, but I heard that he suggested it because after all the death and destruction Hogwarts had seen, he said it needed something happy… but that’s just the rumor I’ve heard). News was that this Masquerade had been in the plans for a couple of years now, off and on with the Prefects. Apparently, they’d had a lot of kinks to work out.

But, as I was saying, I groaned. I knew what this meant “ I’d have to get a date.

I would have to ask a girl to go with me…

Bugger it all.




Deanne filled me in on the news the morning I came back from the hospital wing. Just my luck that I get stuck in the Hospital Wing the night that the send out a huge announcement to the whole school.

“A what?” I asked, tying my shoes and getting ready for classes.

Deanne, who was already dressed and was brushing her hair with a comb, smiled, “A Masquerade! It’s like a masked ball! Isn’t that exciting?”

Alice, who had been (according to Deanne) skipping nonstop since she heard the news, skipped into the room and bounced onto her bed, “I can’t wait for it!”

I looked around at them (Bailey and her friends had long ago decided to ignore us… mainly ever since I’d knocked her over and dumped her papers, but the three of us didn’t mind too badly), “I don’t get it, really… so you’re having a dance? So what?”

Deanne dropped her comb and gave me an incredulous look, “So what? So what? Marti! Hogwarts doesn’t have a dance every year, you know. When was the last one, Alice?”

“Four years ago…” Alice sighed from her bed.

“Yes, that’s right,” Deanne said, turning back to me, “That was in our second year, and we weren’t old enough to go to it. This is our first… and not only is it going to be a dance, Marti, but a masked ball!”

Perhaps I was being dense, but I still didn’t get what was so great about it. “So… you wear a mask? Is that’s what so exciting?”

Alice sat up and stared at me like I had grown another head or something (which scared me more than a little, having already lost a finger in the last week that had been “ painfully, I might add “ re-grown).

“Yes!” Alice said with a giggle, “But Marti, it’s so much more than that! My Mum’s told me stories about how magical they can be! Well,” she motioned to all of us, “I know we are magical, but you know, they’re just… special!”

Done with my shoes, I started digging threw the drawer of my bedside table, looking for a band to tie my hair back with. “I don’t see it… how are they special? I mean, I’ve been to dances before, but what makes the Masquerade so spectacular?”

A snotty snort met my ears from across the room, “Don’t you know anything, owly-poop?” Bailey, with her bag on her shoulder ready to leave, stood near the door, facing me, with her hands on her hips, probably in a pitiful attempt to look cool, “You have costumes and get to leave who you are behind for a whole night “ oh, why do I even bother? McGonagall and Granger are going to be explaining it tonight at dinner, in simple terms that you can understand better.”

The room was silent for awhile. I stared blankly at Bailey, trying to understand what she’d said.

“Owly-poop? Is that seriously the best name you could come up with for me? That is… the lamest, seriously, THE lamest name I have ever been called.”

Deanne and Alice snickered. Bailey just stared back at me, probably expecting some snide comment back from me. I didn’t want to give it to her… it’s not like she’d earned it, or anything, but I couldn’t let this one go.

I laughed suddenly, surprising even myself, “Ha! How dumb are you? I mean, you could have chosen to poke fun at my hair or my height or my eye-color, but you choose to mock my nickname “ and not even the correct one, at that?”

Bailey turned a vivid pink and spun on her heel, and marched out the door. Oh yeah, I SO wasn’t letting it go… yet. I ran to the door and hollered down the stairs at her.

“Ooh, can I try your technique, Kitty-piddle?” a growly noise from down the stairs let me know she’d heard me, loud and clear. But, as I leaned out the door, something occurred to me.

I spun back towards Deanne and Alice, my face grave, “Oh cripes “ a dance! Does that mean we have to have dates?”

Alice snickered again, “Well, most people opt for only one, Marti, but if you’d like more than that, I’m sure-”

Deanne shoved Alice a little, sending her flopping backwards on her bed, “Yes, Marti… I think.”

I covered my face with my hands. “Urgh… I’ve got a bad feeling about this…”




Zinny, I had noticed, had begun acting rather strangely since Marcia announced the news that there’d be a Masquerade. She’d paled notably and suddenly became very interested in her homework. I mean, really.

After I had made an idiot of myself in the common room, Zinny suggested we go to the Library and do “ of all things “ research. I did a double take on her.

“Wh-what?” I asked, visibly stunned. “You want to do… what?”

She blinked at me like I was a goat or something, “Research. I need to do some research, Andran. You have heard of research, haven’t you?”

I blinked at her, “Okay, who are you, and what have you done with Zinny?”

Zinny rolled her eyes at me, “Oh come off it, Andy, and it’s not that weird of me to want to do some work. Do you want to come or not?”

I sighed, “No thanks, I’ve got some reading to finish, preferably in a place where no one will see me,” It had not escaped my notice that people where still looking at me funny since my outburst.

“Suit yourself,” she said, unusually chipper “ was she happy that I wasn’t going with her? “ and popped out the portrait hole.

I didn’t really see Zinny again until the next day, in classes. The news was official then, and all the House heads had posted that we were to all attend dinner that evening to hear the rules and details about the Masquerade.

Dinner began as a ruckus affair. People “ especially the girls “ were all in a fuss, giggling like mad. Worst of all of that was that all the girls seemed to be eyeing the boys “ much to my dismay “ and giggling even more. It was like they expected us to all pair off, right there. The younger years were the worst of the girls, seeing as how they couldn’t go unless they were asked, so they were hinting to older boys that they wanted to go and they were available. It was, in short, madness.

Zinny, on the other hand, was the only girl not giggling. Instead, she was huddled down in her seat reading a book “ reading!

As I said, madness. The world had seemingly inverted itself right before my eyes.

“Zinny,” I said, somewhat incredulously, “What are you doing?”

“It’s called reading,” she said absently, digging her nose farther into the book.

I sighed, “Okay, fine, what are you reading, then?”

That got her head up. She looked me right in the eyes, a slightly irritated look on her face, “Are you always so nosy? I’m reading a book! It’s not that difficult to understand.”

I drew back from her, “Heavens! Fine, Zin, sorry I bothered you.” Obviously, it wasn’t a good time for her. Maybe she hadn’t slept well, or something. And yet…

As I watched her, I had the sudden niggling feeling that Zinny was up to something, and not telling me about it.




It wasn’t long after we’d entered the hall and sat down that McGonagall stood up at the teachers’ table and lifted her hands for silence. Instantly, everyone was hushed and listening.

“Good evening, students,” she said, primly, a slight smile on her lips (again, the inverted world thing… she never smiles!). “As you all know, you’ve been invited to attend dinner tonight to clarify the rules, restrictions, and other various information regarding the recent announcement of Hogwart’s Halloween Masque.”

At this, the whole hall burst out into fits of whispers and giggles. I guess there were too many people who still thought it was an elaborate hoax. I couldn’t blame them, I hardly believed it myself.

McGonagall held up her hands, her smile fading. “I would ask that you please hold your comments and questions until I have finished. Please,” the hall became quite once again, “Thank you. Please refrain from conversations for the time being to ensure that everyone who wishes to hear this information may do so… again, thank you.

“Now, as I was saying,” she lowered her hands and smiled again, “Your prefects and Head students have been working very hard for the last few years to put this together for you all as a special surprise. As some of you already know, we have imposed several rules for as to whom will be allowed to attend. All students, fourth years and above, will be allowed to attend. Any student younger than this will be allowed to attend by one of two conditions: either they have been asked by someone who is old enough and is already attending, or else they have earned it and will be granted permission to attend by their head of house. The latter of these two,” she added hastily, “Will be few. Each head of house may grant one or two younger students permission to attend, but only if they have earned it.

“Also, as it is clear, this is masked ball, and therefore there are certain requirements of each student who will be attending. You will all need a costume, naturally, but no mask worn by a student will be allowed “ let me explain,” whispers broke out in the hall again. “All teachers and house heads will be helping you all construct your costumes over the next few weeks. You will not be purchasing costumes “ I repeat, you will not be purchasing a costume.”

I leaned over to Deanne, “What the heck? What are we supposed to wear, then?”

She shook her head and shushed me, indicating to listen to what else McGonagall had to say on it.

The headmistress cleared her throat to clarify, “If you wish to purchase one, that is fine, but it will need approval from your head of house or myself for it to be worn. No mask will be needed. Instead, before each student enters the ball, a teacher will be producing a glamour spell that will enable the teachers to still see the student faces. We decided on this for safety reasons. But, though we,” she motioned to all those sitting on the staff table, “may still know who you are, you will be masked for your classmates.

“Now, this should give you a good idea of what is expected of you, and should you have any further questions on the matter, I ask you hold onto them for your house heads. Thank you and,” she clapped her hands, “Let dinner be served.”

Eh, I was way too excited to eat, really. Excited? Well, okay, maybe nervous. Part of me was still thinking back to Salem and the events that usually happened at a girl’s school when a dance occurred.

Deanne started asking me all kinds of questions while we ate “ well, she ate, and I tried to. Unfortunately for me, my head could only think of one question: Who would even want to ask me?




The Gryffindor table instantly erupted into noise “ everyone was asking everyone else something about this or that. I… well, I just kinda sat there. Zinny was reading that stupid book “ where’d she even get it, anyway? I mean, it looked older than the usual slew you found in the Library. Oh well.

I did what I could to eat some, being as how Zinny wasn’t pestering me. I’d eaten most of my plate when I heard someone say, “Hey, Andran,”

“Huh?” I looked up at Clay, who was across from me, grinning.

“Okay, none of us guys are saying it, but the whole unstated question is, who are we going to ask to the ball…”

“Don’t make it sound so noble, Clay,” I warned. I poured myself a glass of pumpkin juice and drank it halfway down.

He shrugged, “Well, it’s noble to the girl you ask, you know. They think it’s great… I know who I’m going to ask.”

I coughed and choked… enough to draw even Zinny’s attention from her book, for her to whack me on the back a few times.

“Andran,” she snarled, “You’re not a fish! Breathe air, not liquid!”

I shoved her hands away, “Okay, I got it!” I coughed a few more times, “Okay, I’m fine… what do you mean you know who? Already?”

Zinny, who had started listening to our conversation, went back to her book, red in the face. Clay glanced at her briefly, as if thinking about something. Then to me he said, “Yeah… see, I won’t be the one who’s stuck with no one just because I was a prat and didn’t ask the girl I wanted right away.”

I raised an eyebrow at him. He was now eating some potatoes as if this was just another day in the life. “So,” I asked, “You already know who you want to ask?”

“Yup. I’ll be asking her right after dinner.”

“Okay… why are you telling me this?”

He looked me in the eye, his face very serious, “You and I both know this person… well.” I noticed he looked at Zinny for just a moment, “And you and I are friends. I want to know… who you’re going to ask.”

Before I could stop myself, I found my eyes glancing at the Ravenclaw table (did I actually do that? I hate myself sometimes). I didn’t necessarily see anyone there… no one in particular… “Um, I don’t really know yet. But…”

So, it seemed like Clay wanted to ask Zinny “ if you asked me, it was about time! Merlin, he should ask her! She’d been acting oddly around him lately anyhow, so she probably liked him now, anyway.

I cleared my throat, “Go ahead and ask who you want to ask, Clay. I don’t really have anyone that, you know, I’ve got my eyes on or anything.” I am such a liar. Liar, liar, liar….

“Really? You mean that?”

“Yes.” Such a bloody liar…

Clay smiled, “Brilliant! Great… okay…” he looked around and shook his head, “Ah, bugger it all, she’s leaving! I’m gonna ask her now…”

I started to say something about how he was acting mental, that Zinny wasn’t going anywhere, but I held my tongue when I saw him head towards the door… there was a small group of Ravenclaws making to leave.

What????




Dinner at the Ravenclaw table was a strange affair. I’m really not used to being all gossipy and such with girls… I know I can be that way at times “ what girl isn’t? “ but on the whole, it’s not my thing. Obviously, I tend to fight with boys more than I get along with them.

Deanne was telling Alice that she just hoped so much that Sam would ask her “ as if any of us doubted he would “ and Alice was saying how she didn’t care if she was asked or not, that she’d just go and have fun, most likely with Marcia if she didn’t have a date. I ate quietly, trying to look interested enough to the point where they wouldn’t start asking me questions.

After half a plate, I decided I didn’t want any more. “Hey, Dee? I’m going to head on back… I’m a little tired, and quite full.”

Deanne shrugged, “I’m done, I guess. I’ll head back with you.”

“Me, too,” Alice added.

We each stood and made our way to the door. Man, I just couldn’t wait to hide under my blankets and not think about dances or masks or costumes… I wasn’t thrilled about transfiguring anything to wear. Ever since I struggled in transfiguring the smell within the flowers, in Granger’s class, most everything I did transfigure smelled like the flowers should have, back then. I didn’t want to go as a daisy.

We were almost to the door, when I heard someone call my name.

“Hey, Marti! Hold up!”

I spun to see Clay, dashing my way. “Hey Clay, what’s up?”

“Um,” he gave Deanne and Alice a nervous glance, “Can I have a word with you?”

Hm… “Sure. Deanne, Alice, I’ll meet you guys back in our dorm, okay?” they nodded and, with two strange smiles, left us. “Um, let’s head out of the hall…” I suggested.

“Great idea,” he muttered, sparing a glance over his shoulder.

Once we were out, Clay took my arm and pulled me around another corner, so we wouldn’t be seen by anyone.

“Clay, are you okay? You look a little flushed.”

He smiled, “Fine, thanks. Look, I was just going to ask you…”

… have you ever seen a monkey fly?
… why is your hair so curly?
… what kind of broom handle polish do you use?
… is your wand pinewood?
… what’s the weather like in Antarctica this time of year?
… do you suppose we’ll get more fog anytime soon?
… want to go pants a Hufflepuff?

Okay, so I didn’t really think Clayton McAfee would actually ask me that last one, but even that one seemed more likely than what he actually asked me.

“… would you like to be my date to the Masque?”

I stood there, staring at him, dumfounded. “Date? Me? Uh… why me?”

He looked crestfallen, “If you don’t want to go…”

I swallowed, “No, it’s not that, Clay… just… you’d pick me? Out of anyone else? I’m your first choice?”

He smiled and looked down at his feet. “Yeah… you see, I… you’re one of my best friends, Marti. You and I have fun together. There’s a girl I really like, but there’s no chance that she’d agree to go with me. I…” that way sad face I’d seen on him way back when he’d brought me a card in the hospital wing surfaced on his face, “She just wouldn’t. And, even if she would, I wouldn’t know where to start when talking with her… so I say screw the whole lot of it!”

I blinked again, “Okay… what are you getting at, then?”

He blushed, “I want to go and have fun, Marti. I know that if I go with you, I’ll do that. I don’t have to worry about putting on a show, or making a fuss… I can just be me, you can just be you, and we can have a blast together. I understand if there’s someone you’d rather go with, someone you really like… you’re braver than me, anyhow… but if you’d just like to not have to worry about a date, like me, and want to have fun…”

Now there was an idea. Clay was cute, way cute, but for whatever reason you can imagine (heck, even I don’t understand it) we’d always just been friends. I’d been so stinkin’ worried about a date. I didn’t want to be worried about it. What if no one asked me? What if someone I hated asked me… and I was too nice to say no? Cripes… there were so many scenarios in which something could go wrong here… and these were concerns only from the first few minutes! I had three more weeks, at least, to go on worrying about it!

But… Clay was offering me a great night of fun, with no worries, and most importantly, not having to worry about a date anymore, from here on out.

“Yes!” I shouted, jumping up and down and hugging him, “You rock, Clay!”

He seemed shocked, “Y-you’ll really go with me? I mean, you know, as a friend?”

I grinned wickedly at him, “You betcha!”




Zinny and I walked back to Gryffindor Tower in silence. I tried a couple of times to get my hands on the book she’d been reading, but she kept it far from me. At one point, I even chased her down a corridor for it, but gave up after falling halfway down a flight of stairs, one of which had attempted to eat my foot… and my heart wasn’t really in it, anyway.

We reached the Tower and Zinny, claiming she was tired, went straight up to bed. I headed up to the boys dorm, feeling like I needed to lay down anyhow. Plus, if I wanted to get my charms essay handed in on time, I needed to double check a couple of things on it…

Clay was already there when I came in. I glared at him, without thinking. Unfortunately, he noticed this.

“I did ask you first,” he said absently from where he was lounging on his bed.

“Who said I cared, anyway?” I said, very defensively. “I never said I cared. Never, okay?”

“Whatever you say…”




“Hey there, Martina!”

I flinched. Not again!

I decided that I owe Clay, big time. Seriously. On my way back to the Ravenclaw common room, a very shy Hufflepuff and a burly Slytherin had asked me to the dance. I didn’t know either of them! Because I didn’t know them at all, and the second one frightened me, it was WAY nice to be able to say I had a date.

I turned and spotted “ of all people “ Gryffindor Quidditch captain, Paul Drake, headed my way. Please, please, just go away…

“Um, yes?” I said politely.

He smiled, leaned against the wall I was stopped by, and smiled at me, “So, crazy thing, this dance, isn’t it?”

I said nothing. He didn’t notice. He was too busy reminding himself to breathe while he tried to keep his cool. He also seemed to be sweating heavily.

“So, you are a good seeker, you know that?”

“So I’m told. Thanks.”

“Yeah, would you like to, um, go with me?”

I steeled myself. “Sorry, Paul… I already have a date.”

“ALREADY?!”




It was rather late when, of all people, Drake came busting into our dormitory, fuming and pointing an angry finger at Clay “ again, of all people!


“McAfee!” he hissed, red in the face, “You… you...”

Clay looked stunned as he sat up and faced his accuser. Scott and some of the others had returned already to the room, and they all looked shocked, too.

“Me?” Clay said, clearly confused, “What the bloody hell did I do?”

Drake stood there, silent. I cleared my throat, “Um, Drake? Let’s clear the air, alright? What is it that Clay did?”

“He… he…”

Clay raised an eyebrow, “Ah, I see. I asked Marti, and you had a crush on her, because she’s such a good Quidditch player, right?”

Drake’s arm faltered, “…No,”

Clay got to his feet and marched to the door, escorting Drake out as he did so, “Don’t act like I’m to blame “ I merely asked her, but she is the one who agreed, alright? Next dance, Drake, I’ll let you have first chance to ask the girl you want to ask, fair enough? Okay good “ and good night!” He shut the door quickly and leaned against it, his eyes wide.

“Heaven’s what have I gotten myself into?” he muttered.

Scott looked up from his bed, “Clayton, you asked Marti? The Ravenclaw girl?”

Clay hid his face behind his hands, “Yes, I did…”

Scott smiled, “Brilliant! Congratulations, mate, she’s really pretty!”

Clay shrugged and headed back to his four poster, “Yes, I guess so…”

I blinked, “What does that mean, Clay?”

Clay rolled his eyes and looked at me, “It means, Andran, that I didn’t ask her to be my date in order to have a pretty thing on my arm all night or so I can sneak off to a broom cupboard with her, or so I can filch as many Quidditch secrets as I can from her, or “ wait, why am I even bothering to explain this to you?”

“Because I asked.”

“Well… whatever. I’m going to bed. Don’t ask me again… and if anyone storms in here like Drake, then… I don’t know, curse them or something. I don’t want to deal with it.”

I sighed as Clay drew his curtains closed and decided to do the same. Not that I figured I would be able to sleep, but still, I wanted to be alone.

I smiled into my pillow. I wonder if Drake would do anything to ‘get even’ with Clay?




A/N: I would like to add an apology for not updating this much sooner... I hope all my faithful readers are still out there... somewhere... Please read and review! I will really try to update this sooner, I promise. Love ya all!