Disclaimer: I don't own Hogwarts or anything... but Marti and Andy are mine and you can't have them!!!
I looked down the corridor; thankfully no one was there. Without a word, I slipped into the empty classroom. Well, almost empty.
“Marcia? Marcia, are you there?” I whispered.
There was a silence, but then a faint whisper met my ears, “Over here, Andran, under the desk.”
I made sure the door was closed, then dropped to the floor and crawled to where Marcia Longbottom was crouched on the floor.
“Alright,” I whispered, “Why couldn’t we do this in the Common Room?”
“Because,” she hissed, “What if someone heard us? I don’t want tied to Gryffindor. We had a hard time making up for the fifty points we lost at the Welcome Feast, I don’t want to lose more! Nor do I want to tie my sister to this either. If I get caught, the she will, and this had nothing to do with her! Use your head!” she reached a hand up and smacked the side of my head.
“Ouch!”
“Shhhh!” she hissed again, “You don’t want to be caught!”
I rolled my eyes, “Tell me what you found.”
She paused and squinted at me, “Why do you want to know what that girl has, anyway?”
“The less you know, the better, Marcia. Just tell me.”
She thought about it. Okay, why were the Longbottom twins so strange? Alice and Marcia were just plain… weird. Now I know that their Grandparents were heroes, and their Dad had some hand in the great final battle of the second Wizard War, but shouldn’t that make them better than normal? Absolutely identical, they were pretty, but Alice was a compulsive worrier and Marcia was nice enough but she always was paranoid about being caught. Merlin, to think I had a crush on them in my first year.
“Alright,” she said after a length, “This is what I found…”
*** *** ***
I fell, face first, onto the couch in the Ravenclaw Common Room, or CR, as I was coming to call it.
“Marti,” Deanne said, worriedly. She was sitting in an armchair beside the couch, working on some of our Charms homework, but she sat up as soon as I flopped. “Are you alright?”
“Fine,” I said from the cushion, “How are you?”
“What are you doing? C’mon, turn over! What happened?” Deanne brushed my hair aside and picked me up by my shoulders, setting me right on the couch. “What happened?” she asked again.
“Potions.” I stated flatly. To my misfortune, I was taking Newt-Level Potions, Transfiguration, Defense Against the Dark Arts, and Arithmancy, along with just plain Divination, Astronomy, Care of Magical Creatures, Charms and the rest. Deanne and I had all the same classes, except she wasn’t taking Potions now that she didn’t have to. Instead, she was Newt-Level Herbology, so there were two classes I didn’t have her in. Herbology I could handle, but Potions was a nightmare.
“Oh,” Deanne sighed in that I-know-how-you-feel-that’s-why-I-don’t-take-Potions-any-more way. “Malfoy is rough.”
“Rough? Ha, that’s an understatement,” I scoffed, “He had told us last class that we were to study the ingredients for the Pepper-up Potion. I memorized it. Today, we were going to be making it, and he wrote three wrong ingredients on the board. No one pointed them out, so I raised my hand and asked him if it was correct. He said I’d done a good job in passing his first test “ seeing if we really knew the ingredients.”
Deanne frowned, “Well… that’s a good thing, isn’t it?”
“Oh, yes it is,” I drawled, “But then he docked Ravenclaw ten points for me being bossy and second guessing a teacher.”
“What!” Alice came over and sat down, looking stunned, “How could he do that?”
Deanne waved a hand at her, “You know as well as I do that Malfoy is always out to get the others houses, that great git. Don’t worry about it, Marti. I’m sure you could speak with Professor Lovegood about it.”
“And I can also spit in the wind, but I doubt it will help. I pick my battles, so perhaps it’s best if I leave this in wait for a while.” Deanne gave me her I-don’t-get-you face. I smiled at her. “I’ll wait until I have more than one complaint to go to her with.”
Deanne rolled her eyes and flopped on the couch beside me, “Well, if Malfoy keeps up his usual pattern of behavior, you won’t have to wait long.”
“That’s for sure,” Alice said looking at her watch on her wrist. “Oh, I got to the Library for some research. I’ll see you guys at dinner!” Then she dashed out the entrance with her bag over her shoulder.
Deanne and I started discussing the different teachers and what I thought about them all. Deanne shared some of the rumors that Professor Granger was secretly dating another professor, but that no one knew whom. We spent some time speculating on that, and then we started thinking aloud on who the best teachers were and why.
“So, what do you think of, um,” she lowered her voice and gave me a shy smile, “Of Professor Potter?”
I grinned, “Well, I think he’s a great teacher. I’ve had him for two weeks now, and I can honestly say that he knows more about Defense Against the Dark Arts than any of the Witches in Salem did. He’s fantastic. Really, I grew up learning about him, so this has to be the coolest thing ever just to be here to be taught by him. His class is my favorite… though something tells me that’s not what you’re wanting to know, Dee.”
Her cheeks went pink, “Well, we all know he’s great and all as a teacher. But even you have to admit that he’s quite…” she pulled a suggestive face.
I burst out laughing. It was too funny. Deanne “ Deanne! “ making those funky eyes and kissy-faces… She pulled it a few more times, making me laugh harder.
“Stop it!” I panted, after falling off the couch. “Stop, I can’t laugh anymore! Oh,” I sat up and faced Deanne, “Well, alright, he is somewhat of a hottie. But, what did you mean, even me? Do I look like I’m not into guys, or something?”
She widened her eyes, “No… well, yes… I mean, I know you’re into guys, I just meant that… well, you tend to fight with them more than anything…”
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Was she talking about who I thought she was talking about? If she was talking about who I thought she was talking about, then she was dead wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong, WRONG! So absolutely completely wrong that she might as well be talking about… well, about Malfoy! She was that wrong.
“Whom are you referring to?” I asked her, showing her my deadpan stare.
She gave me her malicious eye “ which is something rather laughable when you considered Deanna, she couldn’t be mean if she tried, and when she did try it was usually funny “ and met my stare head on. Brave girl.
“Whom do you think I was referring to?” she countered.
“Who do you think I think you were referring to?”
“Who do you think I think that you think I was referring to?”
“Who do you think I think that you think that I think you were referring to?”
She scrunched her face. I was tempted to do the same, but I held it. She took a deep breath, “Who do you think I think that you think that I think you think I was referring to?
The entrance to the Ravenclaw CR opened and Alice dashed in, interrupting us. We both glanced up at her, and she eyed us… especially me. “Hey Alice, you feeling alright?”
“Headache,” she muttered, heading up towards the girls dorms.
“Did you finish your research early, or did Marti and I just go on for too long here, laughing about hot teachers?” Deanne asked with a smirk.
Alice shook her head, “Just forgot a book. Excuse me.” She dashed up the stairs quickly. I shrugged and then turned back to Deanne.
“So, anyways, as I was interrogating, who were you talking about Dee?”
“Who do you think?”
“Oh, not this again…”
*** *** ***
“Are you sure that’s what’s there, Marcia?”
“More sure than you are. Next time you want some snooping done, talk to Zinny. If my Dad found out that I did that, he’d be furious with me!”
I rolled my eyes, “He won’t find out, Marcia. They thought you were Alice, didn’t they?”
She glowered at me, “Of course they did, but they also thought something was wrong with me too. Especially that buggy-eyed girl, Marti. I don’t know why you wanted to know what she had in her trunk…”
“Like I said Marcia,” I said, folding up the parchment I’d jotted notes down on, that is for me to know, and the less you know the better. Thanks again.” I pocketed the parchment and started to crawl back towards the door.
“Ahem,”
“Yes?”
“What do I get for doing this? I mean, I could get into major trouble. You said I could name my price, didn’t you?”
I winced. I had an idea as to what she wanted… and I really didn’t want to pay up. You see, back in my first year, I had a crush on Marcia and Alice… it was hard to tell the difference back then, unless I saw their robes, and sometimes at a distance I couldn’t… well, in an attempt to get closer to Marcia, I ended up getting closer. Yeah, and then I learned that they were both somewhat weird, but by that time I’d been too close. Ever since then, I’d had a nagging suspicion that Marcia had a bit of a fascination with me.
I swallowed and nodded. “I did. W-what did you want?”
She brushed her hair out of her face and smiled at me. “A kiss,” she stated simply.
“What! I’m… Marcia, look, I think you’re great and all…” I stammered. I was in a mess now…
She frowned at me, “Get over yourself, Audierus. I’m not interested in a boyfriend right now.”
“Huh?” I think I was close to fainting, “Then why do you want a kiss? I don’t understand.”
Her smile went wicked, “The less you know the better, Andy. You may not understand why I would want just a kiss and nothing more from you, but I do and that’s my price. You don’t like it, I march back into the Ravenclaw common room and tell Marti what you have.”
I swallowed hard. Just a kiss… that couldn’t do too much damage, could it?
“A-alright,” I stammered again. Girls were not a strong suite of mine. I didn’t have a girl friend, I never had, and there was a reason for that. Basically, I was about as smooth as a porcupine when it came to girls. And Marcia wasn’t my type, so that wasn’t helping me here. “Uh… how do you, uh, want to, oh!”
Before I had a choice in the matter, Marcia grabbed my face and brought it to hers.
*** *** ***
It was some time before we were ready to go to dinner. Deanne and I finally agreed to call a stalemate, and my stomach rumbled loudly. Man, arguing with teachers made me hungry…
So we headed out. Funny thing was, when we reached the corridor before the entrance to the Great Hall, there was a bit of commotion going on…
“YOU DID WHAT?” came a shout to our ears as we were about to round the corner. Deanne and I paused and looked at one another, then cautiously peered around the stone corner to see what was happening.
“YOU… YOU… OH, FORGET IT!” It appeared to be Monkey, I mean, Zinny, that Gryffindor friend of Andran’s. She was talking to Alice and Marcia Longbottom, if you call that talking. Alice looked as shocked as Zinny did, but Marcia looked very pleased with herself about something. Zinny clenched her fists in aggravation, and then dashed off in the opposite direction. When she was gone, Deanne and I made our way towards the Longbottom twins.
Alice just stood there, staring at her sister, and then Marcia strutted into the Great Hall as if… well as if she had… well, as if she was the Queen of Sheba!
“Alice,” I asked when we reached where she was still standing, staring after her sister, “What was that all about?”
Alice shook her head, her fair hair whipping around her in disbelief, “I think Marcie has lost her mind…” she whispered.
“What happened?” Deanne pressed.
Alice looked at the two of us, then shook her head again, this time as though to clear the disbelief from her eyes, “Well,” she started, “I just came from the Library when I spotted Marcia, and she ran up to me and said she had to tell me something, but she waited until Zilpha Pearson came by “ I don’t know what she has against her “ anyway, Zinny asks if we’ve seen Andran, because he’s been missing for awhile, and he said that he was going to meet her at the Great Hall entrance and Marcia tells her… tells her…”
I grabbed Alice’s shoulders and shook her, “Tells her what, Alice?”
“Tells her that she just finished snogging him in the empty Transfiguration classroom, and that Zinny should go fetch him, as he seems fairly stunned by the whole thing!”
Deanne crumpled to the floor with laughter, followed by Alice. I felt out of it… what was snogging?
“Wait, what happened?” I asked.
Deanne had to catch her breath, which wasn’t working very well, “She “ snogged “ Audierus!”
Okay… wasn’t getting a straight answer from Dee. “Alice! What’s snogging?”
I waited with thinning patience as Alice tried to gather herself. It took a good minute before she was able to look at me, and even then her lips were quivering.
She took a deep breath and said, “Sucking face… aha ha ha!” then both her and Deanne lost it again.
“So,” I said to myself, since the two hyenas weren’t listening to me, “Marcia just…”
Then I crumpled with laughter.
I could so use that information.
*** *** ***
I just sat there. After awhile I noticed that Zinny was crouched in front of me, her face very worried.
“Andy?” she asked.
I didn’t know what to say.
“Andy?” she asked again.
This time I tried to say something… but I didn’t think my mouth was working…
“Oh,” I finally managed, “Hi Zin.”
Zinny’s eyes widened and she grabbed my face, “What did that girl do to you!”
I finally blinked and shook my head. “I don’t think you want to know, Zinny.”
She let go of me and sat across from me, cross-legged. I just stared at her, and she seemed to be examining me with her eyes. At long last, she cleared her throat.
“I’m going to kill that freak.”
I managed a laugh, “Don’t be a fuss, Zinny, I agreed to let her do it. It’s not like she… forced herself on me, or anything.”
She looked stunned, “You mean you… why?” her eyes suddenly dropped to her feet in front of her.
I shrugged, “I needed something from her…”
“Andran!” she gasped.
“No! Oh, eww, Zinny, that’s not what I meant!” I fumbled with my robes and dug out my notes I’d taken down earlier. “I needed these! She was the only one who could get it for me.”
Zinny took the parchment and read it over. Without looking up at me, she whispered, “You made out with Marcia Longbottom just to know what was in some girl’s trunk?” She raised her eyes to mine, “I will be allowed to help you here, won’t I? I mean, you weren’t going to pull some prank without me, were you?”
I smiled at her, “Wouldn’t dream of it, Zin. Now, really, I need to do something about my lips.”
She rolled her eyes dramatically, “Are they hurt?”
“In a manner of speaking, yes,”
“Well,” she said, pulling a mocking face, “I’ll just have to kiss’em and make’em better!” She leaned over and pecked me lightly on the lips. Then we both burst out laughing.
“If you weren’t my best friend, I’d worry about that one!”
Good old Zinny… she could poke fun of anything. She’d always been that way; I suppose that’s why we stayed friends for so long. She never let me lose my head over the little things, like a stupid kiss.
With a hand up we were both on our feet and headed to dinner.
*** *** ***
It was perfect, really it was. I waited until I saw them coming down the corridor then zapped the spell I’d remembered from Salem on the door. One of my favorites: if you were kissed recently, and walk through the charm, you would set it off, and it would count how many kisses you had… hee-hee. Sometimes I wonder why that Sorting Hat didn’t think I would be good for Slytherin. When I raced back to the Ravenclaw table and plopped next to Deanne, she looked at me questioningly.
“What did you do, Marti?”
I smiled and looked at the door, “Wait and see, Deanne. Wait and see.”
Andran and his monkey friend Zinny came in laughing… and as soon as he did, a magical singsong voice roared through the hall.
“KISSY, KISSY ANDRAN, WAITING IN A CLASS! FOR HOW MANY SMOOCHES DID HE ASK? ONE, TWO, THREE…”
Andran blanched at the voice, though he didn’t know where it had come from. A few of the teachers that were sitting at the table tried to stop it, but they couldn’t.
Only Andran could stop it, and even then it only worked if he knew who had cast the charm… he had no chance!
“Finite Incantatum!” He roared with he wand out stretched at the door, but it did nothing. The students in the hall were rolling with laughter… Oh, pranks were sweet. Since he didn’t know I did it, he had to let it run its course. Ha-ha!
“FOUR, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT! NEXT TIME HE’D BETTER NOT STAY UP LATE!”
It finished with a ring. I drew my wand to rid the door of the charm, but before I could stop it, it started again…
“KISSY, KISSY ZILPHA, FOUND HIM IN THE CLASS…”
What! That wasn’t supposed to happen! The laughter doubled over the hall, and Zinny went red in the face. She’d been trying to stop it, too, until then. When it said her name, she froze and her mouth fell open. Marcia Longbottom saw that and looked furious at the Gryffindor table… I think she yelled something, but it was hard to tell… And to make things worse, the teachers were now flashing their wands all over the place….
“…HOW MANY KISSES DID THEY PASS? ONE! JUST ONE LONG SMOOCH AND THEY WERE DONE!”
Then I saw, to my horror, on the other side of the door Professor Granger was heading into the Hall, carrying several books and papers. I remembered the rumors that Deanne had mentioned to me. I had to stop her!
“Professor, no!” I shouted, getting to my feet and racing to the door as fast as I could…
But I think she thought something was wrong, and she entered the hall anyway. For a split moment, there was silence, and I stopped and sighed a sigh of relief. Perhaps rumors were just rumors….
“KISSY, KISSY ‘MIONE, SHUT THE CLOSET DOOR…”
No! No no no no no! I was so dead! Professor Granger looked confused… until the rest of the rhyme sung out…
“HOW MANY SNOGS DID SHE ASK FOR? ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR…”
A horrified expression crossed her face. She dropped her papers and ran from the Hall. Now several teachers were laughing, especially Professor Potter. I tried to remove it with my wand, but it wouldn’t stop! I waved my wand again, but it didn’t do a dang thing!
Crap it all!!!
I ran over to Andran, as he was still the only one who could get the spell to shut off. Professor Potter ran past me and out the door, probably to go help Professor Granger, and I spotted a very red faced Professor Weasley headed towards the door also…
Oh no!
“SHE GOT LOTS OF KISSES, AND A LITTLE MORE!”
“Andran! Quick!” I said, hurriedly, “Point your wand at me and try to end the spell again!”
He turned to me looking very confused, “Marti? What? Why?”
Professor Weasley was getting closer to the door… “I cast the charm on the door!” I confessed, “You have to say it to me to get it to stop! Do it now!”
His chest visibly swelled with anger, “You did this! How could you!”
“Andran! Hurry, please!” I shrieked, but then Professor Weasley went through the entrance to the Great Hall and…
“KISSY, KISSY RONALD, MET HER SECRETLY…”
Professor Weasley went even redder, but continued his march out of the hall. I grabbed Andran by the collar and pulled his face down to my level. “Do it now!” I growled.
He shoved me away and redrew his wand…
“HOW LONG DID HE SNOG…”
“Finite Incantatum!”
The song died at last, and there was a pop, both at the entrance and over my head. I stood there, everyone looking at me, some very angry, others looking impressed.
I don’t know what happened! I’d always been able to shut off that charm before, always! How could it have gotten stuck? How?
*** *** ***
I glared at her, unable to speak. She looked up at Zinny, and me and cleared her throat.
“I’m sorry Zilpha…” she said, then glared at me, “Believe me, that was meant for Andran alone! Now, excuse me… I have a few more apologies to make…”
She dashed out of the hall before I could hex her. Part of me had a mind to chase after her, but then I reached into my pocked and grabbed a hold of the parchment I had…
“She is going to pay for this!”
Sorry it took so long to get this chapter up! I hope you all like it! I can't wait for your Reviews... I also hope nothing was confusing here, but if you have any questions, I respond to all reviews. Production on the next chapter will begin shortly!