Chapter 18 Red Light At The Crossroads
“Harry, where is he?” Ron mumbled to himself, opening the door to his room to discover it was empty. He peered around and saw Harry’s clothes tossed messily on Ron’s bed.
“I guess he’s in the shower,” he sighed, dumping Harry’s soiled clothes back on his own bed. His clothes smelled like beer, and also some kind of sweet flowery aroma.
“Harry’s such an idiot! Can’t even figure out which bed is his!”
As he threw the jacket down, a red handkerchief fell out of the pocket. He picked it up from the floor and examined it curiously. A disturbing feeling emerged inside of him as he stared at it. He was now beginning to regret having discovered this.
Suddenly hearing footsteps from the door, Ron immediately tucked the handkerchief into his pocket and dropped the jacket on Harry’s bed. It was Harry coming in. Wearing a bathrobe, he slowly trudged in. When he saw Ron hovering over his bed, he immediately turned his head down, trying to hide his reddened eyes. He was too ashamed to face him.
“Hi… Harry… Hmm… How is everything?” he asked awkwardly, trying to regain his composure. “You wanna talk?”
Harry dragged himself over to the bookshelf and reached for the doves that Ginny gave him last Christmas. Biting his lip, he gazed at them solemnly as he was overcome with remorse.
“Harry, is there something wrong?” Ron asked as he walked over to him, trying to get a look at his neck once again. “I’m your best friend. You can tell me anything.”
Swallowing hard and breathing deeply, he shook his head. He had his back towards Ron and was clutching the doves tightly against his chest. He knew Ron was his best friend, but he simply couldn’t tell him that he cheated on his best friend’s little sister.
“Thanks for asking, Ron. I’ll see you in class,” Harry finally whispered weakly, his voice cracking.
Ron could still see the dark mark on Harry’s neck. He remembered earlier how he was initially upset at Harry, horrified by the idea that his best friend was making out with his little sister in such an intimate way. However, now he desperately wanted to believe that Harry did make out with his little sister and that the mark was from Ginny and not from someone else. The idea of his best friend cheating on his little sister would simply be unimaginable. A flash of anger erupted in his mind and he wanted to punch him, but he remembered Hermione telling him to wait and not overreact. So he restrained his fists, shook his head and walked calmly out of the room, tucking at his pocket to make sure that the handkerchief was safely hidden.
“I’ll see you later,” Ron called out and closed the door, realizing Harry was shutting him out. Harry remained motionless with the doves and did not reply.
After Ron had left, Harry crashed into his bed and cuddled the doves tightly in his grips, drowning in remorse. If it were possible, he would want to stay there for the rest of his life.
Ron ran downstairs and discovered Hermione anxiously waiting for him by the staircase.
“Well, what did you find out?” she asked, pulling him to the fireplace.
Ron showed her the red handkerchief and proceeded to tell her about his clothes smelling like beer and the sweet floral scent, and how depressed he appeared to be. He also reminded her that what Harry had on his neck was indeed a hickey.
“But I still refuse to believe that our Harry is this type of person,” Ron stared at the handkerchief, trying desperately to convince himself. “Something terrible must have happened to him because he looked like a wreck. He kept staring at the doves Ginny gave him.”
“Or maybe this is his,” Ron pointed desperately at the handkerchief. “Maybe he likes to use red handkerchiefs…”
Hermione glared at Ron with a complete look of disbelief after hearing that last remark. By now he knew he was fighting a losing battle. He was finally convinced.
“I’M GOING TO KILL HIM! HOW CAN HE DO THIS TO MY SISTER???” Ron roared, tossing the handkerchief to the floor angrily.
“Quiet! I told you to not overreact until we find out more!” she hissed, yanking him to calm him down.
“You said you found it in his jacket?” she asked, picking it up from the floor. He nodded.
“The jacket somehow seems so familiar to me for some reason, like I’ve seen it before,” Hermione mumbled to herself.
“Of course you’ve seen it. Harry’s worn it hundreds of times!” Ron chuckled miserably.
“No, you idiot. I mean I’ve seen it on another person somewhere,” she sighed in frustration, trying to think.
It was obvious Ron was unable to add more insight to this mess. “I’m going to the library,” she complained, hoping she could sort this out by herself.
For the next week or so, Hermione and Ron were busy secretly tailing Harry as much as possible, trying to figure out who he was with that night. They were hoping that they would catch him in the act to confirm their suspicions and then Ron would beat him up. However, Harry was either hiding in his room or in his classes, and the three of them shared most classes together anyway. Other than that, he would devote his time in the fields wasting away, practicing flying for his Quidditch games, as he told the two of them. It was obvious Harry was trying to be alone and to numb himself to forget about what happened. He was trying to figure out how he would tell Ginny the truth. He was still having a hard time facing his friends and he remained unusually quiet and somber, and Hermione and Ron could sense this. They didn’t want to ask him anything directly. Instead, they acted as natural as ever. They didn’t even tell him that Ginny was now suspicious of him, fearing that otherwise he would detect that they knew something and he would act defensive and try to hide from them.
Ginny was conspicuously detached from the group this past week for some reason, spending most of her time hiding in her room or in the library. Because Aria cancelled her classes indefinitely, citing illness, Ginny didn’t even have to share that one class with Harry. She was hiding from him all week and without realizing it, she couldn’t remember the last time they had kissed each other goodnight.
It was again late at night when Harry got back from one of his late night flying practices and he bumped into Ginny in the common room; she just came from the library. Both were startled at the sight of the other, as if neither wanted to see one other.
“Hi, Ginny,” he smiled faintly, quickly covering the mark on his neck awkwardly, pretending that he had an annoying itch. He realized he hadn’t seen her in days. Her eyes were puffy and slightly red. Seeing this, the weight of remorse suddenly crashed on his shoulder. There was a great amount of distance between them and he could sense her tension.
Seeing him standing there with his Firebolt reminded her of the promise he made to her last year about giving her a ride on his broomstick and taking her with him anywhere, anytime. Her eyes began to tear up. Trying to forget this agonizing memory, she averted his eyes and replied with a hoarse voice, “How is Quidditch practice?”
“It’s good,” he answered flatly, his stomach tightening up nervously, still standing quite far from her. He was afraid to approach her. “How’s everything with you?”
“Very busy, studying for midterms and loads of homework to do for tomorrow. The course load is very difficult for me,” she lied, trying to control the shakiness of her hoarse voice. She had forgotten that it was late Friday night now; there was no school and nothing was coming due tomorrow.
“Yeah, I know what you mean. I had the same subjects last year, and Hermione had to help me get through them,” he chuckled dully, trying to prolong the pleasantries.
“Well, it’s late. I have an early class tomorrow. Goodnight Harry,” she quickly turned away because she couldn’t contain her tears any longer. She kept her head down and marched to the staircase.
“Ginny, wait! But there’s…” he reached his arms out longingly, but she ran up very quickly and had already disappeared.
“…no class tomorrow…” he mumbled to the lonely staircase.
He could hear a loud bang from her closing her door. Standing alone by himself in the common room, his eyes began to water as he thought of all those tender goodnight kisses they shared together that were now no more. The gnawing pain in his stomach was becoming unbearable.
“Goodnight, Ginny. Pleasant dreams,” he whispered despairingly to the empty lifeless staircase.
The Firebolt slipped out of his hand and crashed onto the ground.
“I have to tell her the truth…”
When I See Only You by gossipweaver
Chapter Notes: Harry is finally ready to face Ginny, so he thinks. But why is she running away from him?