Morning dawned in the silent village of Hogsmeade, casting faint rays of light into the dark purple sky. The pained howl of a wounded animal and the sound of claws wildly scratching wood broke the peaceful stillness. Gradually, the howl transformed into a human cry and the scratching ceased. Remus collapsed onto the floor of the Shrieking Shack, exhausted and bleeding, with only one thought in his mind. It’s over.
He slowly opened his eyes, despite the intense throbbing it caused his head. The room hazily came into focus. It was in shambles, of course. He had destroyed the furnishings so often that by now he was merely rearranging the chaos. Remus gingerly rubbed his forehead; every movement hurt his aching body. He managed to bring himself up to his knees, steadying himself with his hands as a wave of nausea passed through him. He tried to remember the night before, but could only recall the usual glimpses of pain and violence. Supporting himself on the shredded windowsill, he managed to rise to his feet. He swayed uncertainly as the room faded to black, but moments later his vision returned. Fresh patches of blood were soaked into the dusty floor where he had lain. Remus didn’t know where he was wounded yet, but he was sure he’d find out eventually. Reaching out a shaking hand to steady himself against the wall, he retrieved his wand and slowly limped back through the tunnel.
After a long, exhausting walk, Remus reached the Whomping Willow. Daylight stabbed his eyes as he peered out of the crack in the roots. After scanning the grounds for observers, he pressed the knot at the base of the trunk and quickly slipped away under the frozen branches. Remus breathed deeply, replacing the stale, musty scent of the shack with the cool, refreshing air. He limped towards the castle, relishing the sweet smell of the grass and the safety he felt in the daylight.
Hogwarts was slowly coming to life under the faint morning sun. A few students trailed outside, although classes would not begin for over an hour. Remus watched a pair of first years excitedly run outdoors and look around the grounds in awe. He smiled to himself, remembering his first morning at the castle. He had also been too excited to sleep, and had jumped up at the crack of dawn to explore his new home. Now, however, he could think of nothing more inviting than his four poster bed in Gryffindor tower. He closed his eyes blissfully, imagining the cool sheets and soft pillow awaiting him. He wished he could go there immediately instead of to the hospital wing, but Madam Pomfrey was expecting him. Remus opened his eyes, wondering if he could levitate himself into the castle through the window so he wouldn’t have to walk the rest of the way. He fished his wand from his pocket, pointed it at his chest, and said half-heartedly, “Wingardium leviosa!” Nothing happened, but he hadn’t really been trying.
“Oh well,” he sighed to himself, “I’ll just do it the hard way.”
Remus trudged into the castle and through the halls to the hospital wing. He looked around the room, taking in the familiar surroundings and the scent of medicinal potions. Home sweet home, he thought wryly. Madam Pomfrey emerged from behind a curtain at the end of the room and saw him in the doorway.
“There you are! Come here, let’s get you to a bed before you keel over.” Remus stumbled across the room and collapsed onto the bed next to the curtain. He sighed contentedly, feeling as if he could sleep for a week.
“Oh, you poor dear,” Madam Pomfrey tutted, peering intently at his ashen face. “Here, I’ve got your potion waiting for you. Drink it quickly and you can have some chocolate.”
“All right,” Remus said with a reluctant grimace and took the goblet from her hand. He swallowed the bitter sludge with a shudder, wondering whether it tasted more like skunk spray or petrol. When he’d drained the last drop, Madam Pomfrey relinquished the Honeydukes bar, which he quickly unwrapped and took a large bite of, savouring the sweet taste.
“Thanks,” he said through a mouthful of chocolate. Despite the terrible taste of the potion, he gratefully noted how it had already warmed his body and soothed the ache in his head. Madam Pomfrey laid a blanket over Remus and moved on to the bed next to him, hidden behind the curtain.
“That’s healing well,” he heard her say. “Just give it a bit longer, and then you can go. Now do you think you’ll be able to make it back to your room without hexing Bellatrix again?”
Sirius. Remus shook his head. He’s gone on a rampage. His ears pricked up when he heard a female voice respond.
“May I remind you, Madam, that Bellatrix attacked me first?”
“And what about those three other girls who came to me covered in boils?”
“Her gang,” came the grim reply. “They all attacked me at once after I took Bellatrix down. I had to defend myself, didn’t I? And discourage them from trying that again...”
Remus suddenly recognized the voice. Lily. His heart leapt in his chest, which it had developed a habit of doing in her presence. He had been particularly looking forward to seeing Lily again; they’d always shared a certain closeness, though her exasperation with his friends usually kept her farther away than he’d like.
“You would do well to keep out of Miss Black’s way, young lady. If I had a Knut for every student she’s sent to my wing…” Madam Pomfrey sniffed angrily and then lowered her voice. “Between you and me, I was glad to see her in here for once!”
Lily giggled and Madam Pomfrey emerged from behind the curtain with a secretive smile. She saw Remus watching her and immediately snapped back to her business-like self.
“Shouldn't you be sleeping, young man?” she said firmly and bustled off to her supply room.
“Who’s over there?” Lily whispered.
“Remus,” he whispered back, a little thrill running through him. He was pleased to have the moment to spend with her alone, though he always felt a bit nervous outside of the shelter of his friends’ shadows.
“Hello, Remus! Welcome back,” came her warm reply. “What are you in for?”
“Nothing as exciting as a duel with four Slytherins,” he answered evasively.
A lilting laugh floated through the curtain. “You heard?”
“Yeah, I bet Sirius loved it. Although he’s probably jealous that you got to Bellatrix before he did.”
“She got to me; I didn’t seek her out. And hopefully she’ll think twice before doing it again. I transformed her hair into poisonous snakes and she got bitten pretty badly.” There was a trace of pride in Lily’s voice.
“Wow,” Remus said, impressed. “That’s a difficult charm.”
“Well, I’ve had practice,” Lily replied cynically. “But she still managed to get me before I could defend myself. Look, I’ll show you.”
He heard her bed creak and Lily appeared from behind the curtain. They both gasped when they saw each other.
“Oh, Remus, you look awful!” Lily breathed, clasping a hand over her mouth.
Remus was too upset to come up with an excuse for his appearance. He was thunderstruck by the word “Mudblood” burned into Lily’s forehead. The letters were fading, thanks to Madam Pomfrey’s Soothing Salve, but the hateful word was still faintly visible.
“How dare she!” he fumed, enraged not only at the slur but also at the pain Bellatrix had caused Lily.
“It’s all right, it doesn’t hurt anymore and it won’t scar,” she said dismissively. “But what happened to you?”
Remus averted his eyes. “It’s nothing, I’m just sick.”
“Well, that’s an understatement,” Lily said sceptically. She sat at the foot of his bed and crossed her legs underneath her. Remus felt a bit faint; he was very aware of her knee touching his leg through the blanket. She looked at him with a concerned expression and he couldn’t help gazing back, admiring the tawny freckles that the summer sun had painted across her nose.
“You’re sick rather often, aren’t you?” Lily asked. Remus dropped his eyes quickly, as if he had been caught doing something wrong.
“Well, it… ah… runs in the family.”
Lily studied Remus doubtfully. “I had a feeling you’d be sick last night,” she said.
Remus’s heart stopped for a second, and then pounded so hard he was sure she would see it through his robes. She’s found out! he thought frantically.
“You weren’t in the prefects’ carriage, after all,” she continued offhandedly. “And then I spotted you sleeping in your friends’ carriage. You looked pretty ill.”
Remus relaxed a little, but didn’t let his guard down. He had the impression that she was testing him, and he did not trust himself to maintain his cover. He hated deception, even though it had become a vital part of his life. And now, feeling Lily’s questioning gaze upon him, he felt as if every one of his dark secrets were scrawled on his face.
“So you’re a prefect, too?” Remus asked. If Lily noticed the abrupt subject change, she didn’t show it.
“Yes,” she said and proudly flashed her badge. “I’ll catch you up on what you missed on the train: help out the first years, don’t abuse your powers, and remember that you’re representing Hogwarts.” She finished in a deep, stern voice.
Remus laughed. “I’ll try to remember that.”
“You’re going to have your hands full, aren’t you? Keeping your friends in line is a full time job.” A twitch of a smile betrayed Lily’s disapproving expression.
“It would take a power greater than I to keep them in line, no matter what Dumbledore thinks. I’m afraid he’s going to be disappointed if he thinks I’ll be their role model.”
“I’d be a bit disappointed, too. I think they’d all be more tolerable if they were more like you.” Lily caught his eye and smiled. Remus’s heart skipped a beat. He couldn’t stop himself from smiling too. He felt his pale cheeks flush and he turned his head away so she wouldn’t see.
Lily gasped with horror behind him, “What happened to your neck?” Remus’s hand flew to his neck and he felt three deep, painful scratches behind his ear. He winced and turned back to face her, trying to hide the evidence of his madness. He brought his fingers back down and saw traces of blood.
“Oh, my cat scratched me yesterday,” he said in what he hoped was a casual tone. “That animal’s a bloody menace.”
Imaginary pets, duelling partners, disgruntled owls… all innocent bystanders who took the blame for Remus’s wounds. It wasn’t often that anyone noticed them, though, except for James, Sirius and Peter. But he didn’t have to invent stories for them anymore, which was lucky, since they’d already heard them all at least twice.
Lily frowned and reached out her arm. Remus’s stomach fluttered as he saw her hand come toward his face, then he felt her fingertips touch his cheek. He closed his eyes as she gently turned his face away from her. She brushed his hair back and traced one finger around the cuts. The pain of his wounds faded instantly, but was replaced by an intense throbbing in his chest.
“This wasn’t from a cat,” she said finally, casting him a distrustful glance. “Tell me the truth. What happened to you?”
Remus couldn’t have spoken even if he knew what to say. He couldn’t think of anything except her hand on his neck and the suspicion in her eyes.
“Oi, Remus!”
Remus jolted back to reality as James, Sirius and Peter sauntered into the hospital wing. They were wearing their usual mischievous smiles, but their expressions changed instantly when they saw Lily sitting on Remus’s bed with her hand on his neck. Peter glanced nervously at James and dropped the bag he was carrying. James’s smile fell from his face and his eyebrows narrowed in disbelief. Sirius, however, looked delighted and grinned wickedly. Remus tried to look as if he didn’t know what was going on, which was quite easy. Lily withdrew her hand and stood up, leaving Remus feeling strangely empty without her weight beside him. Not yet, he pleaded silently. His skin felt cold where her fingers were now absent. Please don’t go yet. But she had already whirled around to face his friends.
“And just where the bloody hell were you three when Remus was attacked?” she snapped.
They now looked even more confused than before. James and Peter eyed each other and shot Remus a questioning look. Remus could only shake his head slightly, warning them not to reveal anything.
“Well?” Lily persisted.
Sirius calmly responded, “Isn’t it obvious?” Four heads turned to stare at him. Remus groaned. Whatever was about to come out of his mouth wasn’t going to be good.
“The three of us were in the Forbidden Forest, cowering on the ground with three chimaeras bearing down on us. Oh, they were vile, with blood dripping from their talons and flames billowing from their foul jaws!” Sirius grinned eerily, enraptured in his own storytelling. “I had just clutched James and Peter to my side and cried ‘We die fighting!’ when Remus burst forth from the darkness! With a sword in one hand and his wand in the other, he slaughtered the first beast and hacked it into bloody pieces. It was a grand struggle and Remus was brilliant, as always, but the second chimaera managed to slash him with its talons. His wand flew from his hands and the beast pinned him to the ground. We thought he would perish for sure, but James dove for the fallen wand and cursed the chimaera into oblivion” that was brilliant, by the way.”
“Cheers.”
“Then Remus got back to his feet and beat the last chimaera to death with his bare hands. We wouldn’t be standing before you today if it weren’t for this great man! And after crawling all the way back to Hogwarts on one leg, trailing blood behind him the whole way, what’s his reward? You jump on top of him like a randy wildcat and try to seduce him in his weakened state, when he’s so wounded and fragile that you would surely crush him between your shapely legs. And then you have the nerve to yell at the loyal comrades he almost died defending! Now really, aren’t you ashamed of yourself?”
Sirius concluded his speech by crossing his arms reproachfully. James shook his head. “That’s low, Evans,” he admonished. Peter nodded sadly and sighed.
Lily stared at them as if they had all gone completely insane. She turned her head towards Remus and silently implored him for an explanation. Remus bit his lip and looked downward in shame. He hated himself for not being able to tell her the truth, or even to come up with a better lie. But he had seen what telling the truth got him in the past, and he wasn’t willing to lose one more friend to the werewolf. Seeing that she would get no answers, Lily turned back to Sirius.
“Fine, don’t tell me. Apparently I’m the only one who cares that Remus was hurt,” she said coolly. “And I suppose you were off attacking more Slytherins while your friend was in trouble?”
Sirius raised an eyebrow. “That’s funny, weren’t you the one who was sent here after cursing Trixie and her gang?”
“I defended myself against your psychotic cousin,” retorted Lily, hands on her hips. “That’s a bit different than attacking someone for no reason except boredom.”
“Severus and I have a history, Evans,” said Sirius, his handsome grin hardening. “If you think he’s just a poor, misunderstood boy, you’re severely mistaken.”
“History? I don’t know what kind of history justifies hexing someone when his back is turned. That sounds like bullying to me.”
A flash of anger clouded Sirius’s face and Remus was afraid the conversation was going to turn ugly. But just as quickly as it came, the anger vanished and Sirius laughed.
“I like you, Evans. You’re smart, you’re sassy and you’ve got legs that won’t quit. So just stay out of my business and we’ll get along great. Deal?”
“I’m a prefect now, Sirius. And if you start the same rubbish at school as you did on the train, then I will make it my business. Remus may be too nice to discipline you, but I’m not.” Lily smiled sweetly with her threat.
James whistled and ran his hand through his unruly hair. “Curse a Slytherin and get disciplined by Evans? Where do I sign up?”
Lily shook her head. “No wonder you’re sick all the time, Remus. I can’t take much more of this.” She began to walk towards the door.
“Wait, Lily, don’t go,” Remus pleaded. He couldn’t tell her the truth, but he couldn’t bear for her to leave angry with him. Lily walked back to his bed and knelt down beside him.
“Look, Remus,” she whispered softly so that the others couldn’t hear. “You don’t have to tell me what happened… but I just want you to know they’re not the only ones you can trust.” A tingle ran down Remus’s spine, both from her words and her warm breath on his cheek. He tried to speak, but she had already walked out the door.
“You know you can’t get enough of us!” James called after her, then turned back to Remus with thinly veiled jealousy. “We leave you alone for one night and you end up with the prettiest girl in school on your bed. How did you do it?”
“Animal magnetism,” Remus answered dryly. Peter burst out laughing, but stopped abruptly when James shot him an annoyed look.
“What was that all about anyway?” Sirius asked. “Why did she think you were attacked?”
“She saw this.” Remus turned his head to display the scratches down his neck. “I don’t think she’s figured it out, but she’s definitely suspicious.”
Peter looked nervous. “You’d better be careful. She’s clever, that one.”
“Yeah, and that’s why she avoids us,” Sirius laughed. “We’ve got to get to class, Remus, but we wanted to drop off your supplies first.”
Peter picked up his fallen bag and tossed it onto the bed. Remus grinned, finding his schoolbooks and a wide array of sweets from the kitchen inside. He knew his friends thought he was crazy for wanting to study already, but he didn't want to fall behind.
“Thanks, guys,” he said.
“No worries. Get out of here soon, okay?”
“As soon as I can.”
Remus watched his friends leave the room and leaned back into his pillow contentedly. He was upset about missing his first day of classes and he was still concerned about Lily’s suspicions, but overall, he was actually quite happy. The full moon was over, he was back at Hogwarts where he belonged, and he had the whole year to look forward to. Particularly prefect duties… He recalled the favourite parts of his conversation with Lily, remembering her fingers brushing his neck and the soft heat of her breath on his face. He grinned, and his cheeks flushed once more. He would replay those moments over and over for the rest of the day.