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Loathing or Love? by Miss Radcliffe

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Chapter Notes: A/N: I was pleased with your comments on the last chapter. This is the third time I’ve submitted chapter 18 because it keeps deleting itself. Also, check out my new one-shot, it’s H/G. Enjoy!


Miss Radcliffe~


Chapter 18: Revelations


James threw the Quaffle skyward and just managed to make it past Robert Chaplan and into the center goal post. He sighed, exasperated, as a loud bout of cheers and catcalls made their way up to him from the stands. The Gryffindor Chaser looked below him to see Alyssa Vineyard clapping her hands and watching him fiercely.


“Robert, stay closer to the posts so you’ll have more time to see which direction the Quaffle is going!” James shouted to his Keeper.


“Alright team! Gather round!” he called.


“Excellent practice,” James said as soon as the entire team met, hovering in the center of the pitch. “I’ve scheduled one more practice for this Friday, the day before the match. Victoria, the Hufflepuff seeker is meaty and not the brightest so he’ll probably tail you. We’ll have to talk about some moves that involve bluffing.”


“And remember, even if you’re dead focused on what you’re doing, always stay aware of your surroundings,” added Sirius as the team chuckled in appreciation, with the exception of James who scowled at his friends. During practise, James had been so intent on stealing the Quaffle from Kaity that he didn’t see the Bludger Sirius had sent his way. It collided hard with the tail of James’ Silver Arrow and sent him spinning into the stands.


“Let’s go change,” James concluded grumpily, and he flew down towards the changing rooms. He saw Alyssa walking hastily towards the entrance of the boy’s changing room and he dove through the door.


He swung his legs off the broomstick and laid it carefully against the wall before pulling off his sweaty robes. He was about to put on his black school robes when the door to the changing room burst open and in strode none other than Alyssa. Robert quickly covered himself up as Alyssa walked past, not seeming to notice his discomfort. Sirius spared Alyssa an amused glance before continuing to change into his school robes as if there was no interruption. Alyssa stopped in front of an open-mouthed and wide-eyes James, who was holding his robes against his front to shield Alyssa from unwanted views.


“You played reeeally well,” she purred, reaching around his robes and sliding her finger down his side. James took a step backwards, nearly tripping over his broomstick. And then it dawned on him: the girl standing before him was the reason Lily wasn’t talking to him. Because of this girl’s bloody love potion, Lily hated him again and may not ever trust him.


James dug his nails into the palms of his hands and looked at Alyssa through narrowed eyes.


“Get. Out,” he managed to say through clenched teeth.


“Awwww, are you mad at me for driving poor little Miss Head Girl away?” she seethed, finally losing her patience.


“You don’t know any better because the only person you’ve ever had eyes for is her. Look right in front of you! A person far worthier than her wants to be with you! Can’t you just see that she’s a controlling Mudblood?”


“Tarantallegra!”


Alyssa’s legs began to dance uncontrollably and she let out a shriek. In the get his wand and hex Alyssa, James had dropped his robes and stood almost totally naked with the exception of his red and gold checked boxers.


“Don’t you ever call Lily a Mudblood,” James said in a low threatening tone that was much worse that a shout and Alyssa staggered backwards.


“Fine! Your loss! You think you can just push me away and go crawling back to that sorry bitch? I’d like to see you try!” Alyssa yelled. Then suddenly, maddeningly, she smiled.


“And you wanna know why?” she laughed. “Because I happen to know that Miss Evans has found herself someone else.”


And with great difficulty, Alyssa manoeuvred herself out of the room, leaving Robert to stare at James and Sirius to give his friend a sympathetic shrug before also walking out the door.


*****

“Of course, Mungo Bonham had another theory about how to cure Dragon Pox, but that’s a whole other story,” said Bri as Lily elbowed him, wanting to hear more. They sat together beside the lake with their legs floating comfortably in the water. Joanne and Alexis sat not too far off in deep discussion.


“Is it really that late?” Bri glanced regretfully at his watch, which read 8:07. “I said I’d meet some friends in the common room.” He looked apologetically at Lily.


“Don’t worry about it,” she said as he stood up. “Besides, I have to patrol soon,” she replied and made a face of disgust. She also stood and they walked towards Alexis and Joanne where their shoes and socks were. Bri picked up his belongings, then grabbed Lily’s hand and kissed it delicately. He nodded to Alexis and Joanne and began the walk up to the castle.


Lily lay down beside her friends and absentmindedly began playing with a blade of grass.


Joanne stood and brushed off her clothes. She yawned unconvincingly and said,


“I’m getting tired. I’m gonna go back up to the dormitory now.” With her expression noticeably gloomy, Joanne followed in the direction of Bri.


“Is she alright?” Lily asked, sitting up as she did so. Alexis shifted uncomfortably, her eyes avoiding Lily’s.


“Well….”Alexis began. “It’s nothing really. She’s just a bit put out about some stuff and-,”


“What stuff?” questioned Lily, growing more and more concerned about Joanne. Alexis then looked Lily in the eye so sharply that it almost frightened the redhead.


“Do you remember who Joanne went to the ball with?”


Alexis got up and she too walked back to the school, leaving Lily in a dumbstruck silence.


*****

Later that night, Lily walked slowly down the Charms corridor. Usually when patrolling Lily was focused on catching late night wanderers and avoiding Peeves. But tonight Lily paid no mind to her task.


Bri asked out Joanne to be friends with me, she thought. How could I be so thick? She sighed, deflated, and turned the corner. But her night was about to get much worse: ahead, walking straight towards her, was James Potter.


“Damn,” Lily muttered. During the nights Lily and James patrolled together, they rarely ran into each other. When they did, they ignored each other and went their separate ways, a fact she was very happy about because she just couldn’t bare to talk to him. But as Lily was soon to find out, this night was going to be much different.


As usual, they kept their heads down and ignored each other’s presence. This was when Lily’s nerves started making her stomach light and airy so that she could barely breathe. Her stomach got lighter and lighter until they were passing each other, mere inches apart. Lily determinedly looked at the wall to her right, away from James.


She was about to exhale in relief when, in one fluid movement, James pinned her against the wall and held her there with her wrists above her head. Lily was so shocked she couldn’t find the means to speak or try to free herself. Her eyes locked on his and she saw grim determination staring straight back at her.


With his free hand, James pulled out his wand. For one terrifying moment, Lily thought he was going to hex her, but then he tapped three of the stone bricks next to her head, never breaking eye contact.


The wall to which Lily was pinned slid into the stone next to it and James caught her fall by grabbing her around the middle. He released her wrists and instead used both arms to carry her into a small chamber the sliding wall had uncovered. As he set her down, James tapped another set of stone bricks and the wall closed itself.


Despite being more than a bit surprised and frightened, Lily took a moment to look at her new surroundings. The hidden chamber was roughly half the size of the dormitory she shared with Alexis and Joanne. It had a few candles melting away in their iron holders attached to the wall.


“I’m sorry I had to do this, Lily.”


Lily started. She had completely forgotten James was there with her. He was sitting on the floor across from her, leaning up against the wall. And then it hit her: she’d been taken captive and had no way out.


“How dare you,” she bellowed. Having left her wand in her dormitory, Lily couldn’t repeat the same tapping procedure to open the wall. “Let me out of here this instant!” She stood and towered over him in what she hoped was a threatening way. Then the grim determination was back on his face.


“Not until you listen to me,” he said just as fiercely.


Lily sat down angrily and crossed her arms, refusing to look at him.


“What happened at the ball-,”


“I don’t want any bloody excuses, Potter,” fumed Lily. James’ surprise at her use of language heightened when she turned to him, tears welling up visibly in her eyes.


“You hurt me. I don’t know why it hurt so much or why it even hurt at all but you did. I know we are- we were just friends but seeing you with her still stung. Nothing I did stopped the hurt even though I tried to make it stop. Nothing you say will.”


Lily struggled to keep the tears from falling. Her head pounded from the effort but nonetheless, she kept them in check.


“Lily, I don’t want Alyssa! I only want you,” James said desperately. “I told her that myself this afternoon.”


“What?”


James moved towards Lily and kneeled beside her. He cupped her chin in his hand and forced her head upwards to look at him.


“Alyssa fooled me into that-er-situation. I didn’t know what I was doing. I would never, never knowingly hurt you like that,” he said softly.


He slowly raised her chin and softly kissed her lips. Tears were streaming down Lily’s face now and he brushed them away with his thumb. Suddenly, Lily shook her head, pushing his hand away.


“No. No, you’re wrong. I saw it with my own eyes.” Lily’s voice was gradually getting louder. “How could you? How can you break my heart and then try to pick up the pieces!”
She grabbed his wand out of his pocket and tapped the three stones she’d seen James tap with more force than necessary. She didn’t wait for the wall to open fully. James’ wand clattered to the floor as she slid out of the chamber.


When James finally exited the chamber much later, he walked in the direction of Gryffindor Tower. As he passed the first classroom on his right, James paused as he heard the sobs coming from right behind the door.


A/N: Mungo Bonham was a Wizard of the Month on JK’s site. It says that he was a famous healer who founded St. Mungo’s. I wanted to use a real character (even though he’s never been mentioned in the books!). The Tarantellagra spell is, of course, from OoTP. Check out my author information to join my myspace. Thanks and appreciation to my beta, songbook99 for giving the go-ahead with the final scene of this chapter. Please review!


Miss Radcliffe~