Chapter 1 Replay My Love Scenes Again
“Ginny, are you sure you don’t mind having… him… stay at the Burrow?” asked Ron worriedly.
Ginny smiled and shook her head, “No, I’m okay. Really. I told mum to invite him over__”
“You did??” Ron yelled out shockingly.
Ginny rolled her eyes, “I’m fine with him. I’m his friend too. He needs people, especially now, given what happened to his godfather.”
“But… the events last year… you’re not… angry with him?” Hermione frowned. “It’s different when we were all in school… you know… seeing him in the halls but blended with the crowds__”
“What is this him, him, him? Come on guys! He’s not Voldemort!” Ginny interrupted and retrieved a comb from her dresser.
Ron immediately shuddered and glared at her.
“The guy has a name! It’s okay to say his name. Harry! Harry! Harry!” Ginny laughed hollowly, combing her red hair, trying to maintain her smile. “See! I said it! And I am not crying!
“Just don’t try to pair us up again! Promise me to act natural when he’s here, okay?”
Ron and Hermione nodded slightly and breathed a sigh of relief, but were still looking at her apprehensively.
“No. I’m not angry with him. Not anymore… I’ve moved on…” she grinned and assured them emptily. But something tingly could be felt from the inner corner of her eyes. Perhaps she realized that while she was trying to convince them, she was also trying to convince herself of this.
“I think of it… as a bad dream. And now I have woken up. It’s a brand new day and I’m a new person, a much stronger person.
“Out! Out! Out! I need to get changed!” Ginny hastily pushed them out of her room as the tingling sensation was getting stronger.
Ron and Hermione slowly walked out of her room, whispering nervously to each other, trying unsuccessfully to believe what she said.
“But sis__” Ron turned around abruptly, only to see Ginny’s door slammed in his face.
Holding back her twisting emotions, Ginny leaned her entire weight against the door to make sure they couldn’t come in and catch her reddened eyes. She was adamant that she wasn’t going to shed more tears for Harry, or more importantly, to not let other people see her shed tears for him. After waiting for a few minutes to make sure they were gone, she quietly trudged to her dresser, her spirits crumbling because she realized she had to face something that was very difficult emotionally. She had failed so many times before but today she was determined to accomplish her goal, to finally let go of the painful mementos of her past with Harry, and move on.
After all, she was no longer the fragile little girl who would blush or cry over the silliest of things. She no longer busied herself with diaries and had taken an active interest in Quidditch. Even her mum was now more liberal towards her, noticing her maturity beyond her years. But some things just could not be overcome with outer strength, when the strength was limited to the exterior, fueled tenuously with a broken heart. Deep inside, she was still the fragile little girl, except now the little girl possessed a heart that was always filled with tears.
She stoically opened her drawer and pulled out a picture of her together with him taken last year at the Leaky Cauldron. Underneath it was last year’s diary, and when she flipped it open she noticed that all the pages were about him. She quickly tossed the diary and the photo into the garbage.
As Ginny glanced up at the dresser, she could see her hollow reflection staring palely back at her. It wasn’t like this last year, and she couldn’t help but remember the bright reflection of the two of them, when he sat in front of her while she was trimming his hair, both giggling wildly. Those were the happy times.
”I’m ticklish, especially there and there…” she could still hear him joke to her that day, even though she wasn’t touching him there and there.
From the corner of the mirror, she spotted the reflection of the dream catcher across her room that he gave her two years ago during Christmas. She would never forget that memorable Christmas they had shared together, because that was the night that started everything, when fate would have them share a very intimate dream together. She could still remember the pure sensations of his naked body melting against hers, his heart beating faintly against her flushed cheeks, and his arm gently caressing her back. It was paradise.
The dream catcher was hanging by the closet door. This door was important; it was always shut because behind it hid something that was very precious to her, something that she purposely forgot to return to him.
”I want you to have the best dreams in the world. Don’t be like me. Always having nightmares all the time…” he said to her that night under the Christmas tree.
Once she removed the dream catcher from the door and threw it into the garbage, she bit her lip, carefully opened the closet door and saw what was awaiting her behind it. Once again, a terrible but familiar feeling of longing emerged inside her gut as she retrieved his jacket and clutched it in her arms. Cuddling it like this would always make her feel like she was embracing him once again, feeling safe again, just like the old days.
It felt so wonderful she couldn’t help but slowly put it on. Wearing it would always bring back all those feelings they once shared. She chuckled because she once admitted that his aroma was her favorite. Remembering their loving past like an old romance movie sequence, she was letting the memories of them nurture her mind again, and she was immersed in them: his gentleman touch, devilish lips, poignant voice, innocent face, boyish smile, and bright green eyes... Without knowing it, Ginny found herself mesmerized, smiling mistily again and she could almost hear herself giggle.
However, she had learned the hard lesson that happiness was finite, just like all movies must come to an end, some with happy endings, and some with sad endings. Unfortunately for her, theirs was one that left her with the worst possible outcome. In the end, all she had that was his was a lifeless jacket void of his warmth and aroma, and it was the only item available to fill the emptiness that he left behind in her heart. But she knew what had to be done. She took the jacket off and threw it into the garbage.
The garbage can was once again filled with mementos, her endearing memories of them that she desperately wanted to forget. In fact, it was overflowing the bin toppled over, spilling the items all over the floor. Staring at the messy pile of memories, the remains and heaps of what were the remnants of their relationship, her eyes began to tear up heavily but she refused to let her tears flow. Overcome by her longing emotions and hating herself, she dejectedly retrieved the items once again, and one by one, shakily placed them all back to their original locations, just like other countless times before. She had once again failed to let him go.
Ginny had explained to her mum that she broke up with Harry because they were incompatible but she emphasized that he did absolutely nothing to hurt her. She kept the painful truth to herself despite Mrs. Weasley constantly badgering her for the details, especially at the beginning, because she remembered vividly how her mum threatened him about not hurting her before she gave her blessing. She didn’t want her mum to hate him because he really did hurt her last year.
Ginny didn’t want her mum to hate him because at this point, he needed all the love he could get given what happened to his godfather. Without his godfather, he no longer had any family. He was deserted. He was an orphan again. That was why she made Ron and Hermione promise to keep the details of their past a secret from her mother. She also made her mum promise that she would not ask Harry about their breakup, given all the hardships he was enduring right now.
Mrs. Weasley was always very fond of Harry and she was extremely excited when she found out about their relationship last year. But she wasn’t stupid. After all, all breakups had their unique painful reasons behind them for both parties. Of course her affection towards Harry was slightly weakened when she found out about their situation, especially when it involved her own baby daughter. There was no doubt her angel suffered some sort of pain as a result. As a mother, she could see how much Ginny had seemingly aged over the past year, her face scarred perhaps by tears, and the apparent loss of innocence as a result. What used to be Ginny’s energetic sounds of giggles and girlish excitement were so rare these days; they were replaced by a veil of poignant calmness and silent strength vaguely masking some kind of deep pain.
Mrs. Weasley never discovered the true reasons behind the split and she had since given up, but she couldn’t help but wonder whether Harry had broken his promise to her and had done something terrible to her angel that had led to their breakup. Nevertheless, like Ginny, Mrs. Weasley was a person of compassion and selflessness and in her mind, Harry would always be her adopted son no matter what he did. Just like her daughter, her love for him was unconditional.
Ginny knew today was the day Harry was arriving to stay at the Burrow. Despite putting up a strong front, deep inside she wasn’t ready to see him again, at least not today. She remembered that after he lost his memory of them, it was so heartbreaking to see him everyday in the castle halls, for him to greet her so casually despite having once shared numerous intimate and emotional moments together as a loving couple.
At the beginning, it was extremely painful to catch his eyes, because they no longer sparkle at her like they used to. He treated her like his little sister again. His hellos to her were no longer endearing and heartfelt. Eventually, as they reached the end of the school term, she was finally at peace with seeing him in school. Or perhaps she was just too numb to feel anything towards the end.
She couldn’t deny to not hear the murmurs from fellow students whispering behind them when they happened to be together on rare occasions. People just had no tact and loved to talk about the misery of others, especially things like these, even if they knew clearly that the victims were within earshot of these hurtful words. The gossip about their apparent breakup and her crush on him only gradually died down toward the end of the school year. Nevertheless, she was certain Harry could hear the murmurs. She was also certain he was deeply aware of how she felt about him, the feelings she harbored for him all these years even without the gossip. But as a true and honorable gentleman, he would never make an issue of her affections and awkwardness toward him, thus saving her from utter embarrassment, for which she was extremely grateful.
However, she couldn’t help but wonder sometimes what Harry was really thinking when he would overhear people talking about them and their alleged breakup, when in his mind, they were never together in the first place. Sadly, it was also entirely possible that he never really put any thought into it at all, because Ginny simply never existed in Harry’s heart, and she might never will.
Today, she decided to accompany her father to work in London to avoid seeing Harry. Avoiding today was critical because she was certain that the energy in the house would be cranked to the maximum, as a result of all the welcoming and exciting routines her mum had planned for his arrival: the big meals, the warm hugs, and all the motherly talks. Instead, she could spend the day quietly in the city, away from all the excitement because of him. She would wait for her father to finish work, and they would go home late in the evening, when all the fanfare for Harry should die down by then. But she was worried whether she could maintain her composure for the entire time that he would be at the Burrow. The Burrow was not spacious like Hogwarts, where she could avoid him easily. The challenge would be to avoid his magnetic green eyes on a daily basis, the unimaginable pain of them looking emptily at her like she was his little sister.
After reassuring her father over and over again that she would be okay by herself in the city, Ginny found herself walking mindlessly in the crowded streets, struggling with all kinds of thoughts when it started to rain. She watched the downpour swept the gray sidewalks, cleansing them of yesterday’s footsteps. If only the rain could also wash away her past, so she would finally be able to forget.
"Forget me..." he once said to her.
Her father had told her about the London rain and he gave her a Muggle’s umbrella. It was so early the streetlights still had not been turned off. The lights were blurred behind a veil of heavy fog. Everyone seemed so preoccupied with their lives to notice her downcast eyes. Cars and people were whizzing by her and she unknowingly stepped into the crossroads when suddenly…
“HONK! HOOONNNKKK…! BBEEEEEEEEEPP!!”
Someone’s arm abrupted grabbed her shoulder and immediately pulled her away from the road violently. In the process, she spun into the stranger and dropped her umbrella. They both stumbled when they collided.
“WATCH WHERE YOU’RE GOING! STUPID GIRL! CAN’T YOU SEE THE BLOODY RED LIGHT??” the angry driver spat as he sped by a puddle, sending water flying towards them.
Seeing this, the stranger immediately held her tighter in his embrace and spun around, trying to shield her from the water.
“TAKE A HIKE! YOU JERK!” the stranger yelled back furiously at the driver, still holding Ginny tightly in his embrace.
“Some folks really need to relax. Gosh… Yuck…I got water in my mouth…” the stranger complained angrily as he wiped his face and steadied her carefully.
“Are you okay, Miss…WEASLEY? WEASLEY??” the stranger immediately recognized her red hair and screamed excitedly. “Wow! Aren’t you Fred and George’s little sister?”
Blinking very quickly, she looked up and immediately recognized him. She had heard a lot about him from Fred and George. He was just as burly as he used to be when she had last seen him in his Quidditch matches during her second year at Hogwarts. Now that she had grown a couple of inches, he wasn’t as intimidating as before. He had suitcases around him and his broom, sporting a bright smile and an earring to match.
“Wood? Oliver? Oliver Wood?”
The Boy Next Door by gossipweaver
Chapter Notes: Hedwig does her part to ensure Harry receives from Ginny, a gut-wrenching message of words handwritten with her heart. Too bad the snowy owl can’t tell him she is the author. Perhaps it is better this way, given Ginny has decided to give up on Harry and to remain only as his friend. Sadly, this is easier said than done, because it appears the harder she tries to keep her distance, the closer he is to her for some reason, so close that even he is also beginning to question why…