Chapter 21 Spring Winds Grace Your Face
“Mistletoe!” It was Hermione’s shrill voice zapping through Harry’s ears. Opening his eyes, he suddenly discovered her looking teasingly at him from across the common room. She was lounging on a ladder and steadying all kinds of Christmas decorations in her arms. Curiously standing beside him by the common room staircase was a much younger looking Ginny. Her face appeared rounder and less bony but her cheeks were blushed like a summertime strawberry. He could hear Ron’s sniggers in the blurry background. Studying himself, he didn’t understand why he was wearing a cast across his arm.
“Guys, you don’t know what a mistletoe is? Look, Ron. Harry and Ginny are standing under it. That means they have to give each other a kiss. Come on Harry, give Ginny a kiss!”
Harry’s heart was fluttering feverishly as he slowly inched closer to Ginny, his mind debating frantically whether he should kiss her on the lips or on the forehead. His lips were screaming instinctively for her lips, but he was afraid of offending her, so he elected the more conservative choice, by changing his trajectory in the last second to kiss her as gentlemanly as he could on the forehead. Seeing this reminded him of the kiss they shared at the Burrow on her birthday, except the one at the Burrow extended over ten seconds, and it was much more intimate.
Examining the kiss intensely as they progressed, he could see himself pulling away to reveal a teary eyed Ginny, but the Harry in the image apparently did not notice her tears, because he was pretending to busy himself with the ornaments on the floor, at the same time trying to hide his embarrassment. Sadly, it was unmistakable she was clearly hurt. He had hurt her that evening. He now realized he had made the wrong choice. He could see her pain now. He wanted to apologize, but the illusions quickly fizzled under a blanket of smoke.
After the smoke cleared, another movie clip began to play itself, and again, it was the common room staircase, with him and Ginny, standing in an almost identical position to the last image under the mistletoe, except they were wearing only their robes and nothing else. She had her hand over his lips as she gazed deeply into his eyes and adjusted his glasses back on his face. He saw his arms wrapping around her waist, pulling her closer when she stroked his bangs tenderly to the side. He could feel he really wanted to kiss her. Once again, she appeared much more younger than now.
Suddenly, he broke off their gaze and walked sharply away from her, with his back facing her coldly. Standing behind him, Ginny’s eyes were tearing up.
“I am sorry, Ginny. I…can’t…I…just can’t…Sorry,” he heard himself bark ruthlessly as he stormed upstairs, abandoning her, followed by a loud bang from his slamming the bedroom door shut. He had left Ginny by herself, and she was on the verge of cascading by the staircase under the mistletoe.
All he remembered from that night was he was determined to not permit himself to fall in love with her, because he was convinced that everyone who loved him would always suffer a terrible fate. Not knowing what to do, he rationalized that he must make her hate him, so he slammed his door as hard as he could, making sure she could hear him. Pain and anger ruptured his heart at the sight of her tears, because he had hurt her again. She might hate him at the end of all this but he hated himself more for being so cruel to her…
“Harry…
“……”
“Harry…” it was Sam’s voice.
“Uh? What?” he popped his teary eyes open to see Sam examining him closely, with his invisibility cloak folded tightly in her arms. He just realized he had unknowingly fallen asleep in the quiet common room. Shaking his head, he pointed his head to the staircase but no one was there. There was also no mistletoe at the top. It was just a dream, but one that was too real to be a dream.
With Ron and Hermione going off by themselves today, Harry had parked himself in the common room all morning by himself, anxiously waiting to catch a glimpse of Ginny. One part of him wanted to talk to her about his odd visions, but another part wanted to keep everything quiet, because he remembered Hermione telling him that hearing strange voices was bizarre even by wizardry standards. Admittedly, he didn’t want her to think he was insane, now that she was finally willing to be with him.
Harry was still struggling with everything that happened yesterday: the echoing voices, the feelings of déjà vu, and having his jacket mysteriously draped over him. As he was lying in the snow last night, he had the strangest fantasies. He thought he saw Ginny’s face hovering over him, but he was unsure whether it was actually Ginny or merely a reflection of the patterned stars. He heard himself wish her goodnight and pleasant dreams, and he told her he loved her. For some strange reason, a little voice was telling him that he ought to kiss her goodnight every night before bed, because he needed to assure himself she would wake up the next day.
Immediately after he wished her goodnight, her face faded away and he saw himself taking off his glasses and rolling to the side, only to find his jacket draped over him soon after. He was debating whether it was a dream or reality, but he had a profound sense of sadness after these visions last night.
Adding more confusion in his head were the visions he had just before Sam woke him up. Only this time they appeared more real and vivid than those of yesterday. It was as if they were real, and that the mistletoe incidents actually happened.
Harry had planned to go to Hogsmeade with Sam today, because he was afraid she would get lost, even though she kept reassuring him she would be all right going by herself. However, he was truly worried about her. Since yesterday, he noticed she was getting more pale and weak. The usual power behind her voice had disappeared, and she no longer hopped or bounced around him. He figured she might still be in pain after falling at the castle entrance when she made him chase her, but it was as if the life was being drained out of her.
“Harry, sorry for the wait,” uttered Sam. “I was with Ginny in her room.”
At the sound of Ginny’s name, he felt a real sense of guilt towards her for the visions of abandoning her under the mistletoe.
“We should wait for her then. Maybe she wants to go too,” Harry put on his jacket, the one that was draped around him yesterday.
“Harry, your jacket…” Sam’s eyes widened because she recognized it from last year, when Ginny had wore it the entire time in the hospital wing while tending to an unconscious Harry.
“Yes, it’s a jacket,” said Harry sarcastically. “A bit tight around the shoulders though.
“Sam, is everything okay?” he noticed she was staring at him.
“Erm… Ginny… I think she’s not coming…
“She’s… not feeling well,” said Sam tiredly. “I think it’s… just… a head cold. It’s been hectic these past few days… you know… with the competition… and she shouldn’t have worn a backless dress. It was… a December evening after all… and you took her up so high…”
Harry immediately straightened himself, twitching helplessly to storm upstairs, “Is she in her room? I want to see her! We should take her to the hospital wing!”
Sam pushed him back sadly, “She took her medicine and she’s…all drowsy… she’s asleep. Besides… you can’t… go to the girl’s dorm… unless…”
“Unless what?” asked Harry hopefully.
“Hold my hand,” suggested Sam, with a sudden surge of energy. “We’ll… synchronize our steps, one step at a time. As long as you’re escorted by a girl, I’m sure the stairs will not slip under your feet.”
Before he knew it, Sam grabbed his hand and they raced upstairs, carefully controlling their steps as they reached the staircase leading to the girls’ dormitory. He could feel her hand was especially cold and lifeless today, compared to the countless times when her hands were all over him without his permission. However, he was too excited to ask about her coldness because to his pleasant surprise, the steps to the girls’ dorms did not flatten out with her standing on them with him, just like she predicted.
In his mind, Harry had never ventured to the girls’ quarters before. Admittedly, they were much nicer and smelled better than the boys’. His blood was boiling hot in boyish glee, thinking he was heading into forbidden territory to surprise his favorite girl with a visit.
“Sam, erm… why’re you doing this… for me?” asked Harry sheepishly but appreciatively as he matched her steps, letting her take the lead and trying desperately to tone down his exhilaration. Her steps were slow, and she was still limping slightly.
“I’m not blind. I know you fancy her,” Sam glanced at him, keeping her hand gripped tightly on his as she ignored the pain that was striking her heart. “Consider this returning your favor for all those morning broom practices. But look at your face now, Harry. You were a dead rock moments ago… but now you look like a spring chicken in heat!”
“I do not!” he pulled his face away from her view, blushing heavily, trying to undo his permanent deep grin.
Suddenly, Sam froze her steps and Harry was forced to turn his head to her, wondering why they were stopping, only to catch her eyes gazing at him.
“Harry, it’s nice to see you… truly smile again,” she said movingly.
“You know, Samantha Ryan… moments like this… when you’re docile and not grabbing me inappropriately or yanking me like a rag doll… you’re actually… okay… a pretty cool kid… like the little sister I wished I have...”
“Ginny’s alone… inside,” she interrupted him abruptly and yanked him to her doorway, trying helplessly to ignore his compliments and suppress her tidal wave of human emotions. “She told me… her roommates are all heading to Hogsmeade, so you… get to be alone with her.”
“Sam, what about you?” he suddenly remembered his promise to her when she mentioned Hogsmeade. “I thought you wanted to go too. But if I’m here…”
“Then I will go myself, as I originally planned,” she replied civilly with a couple of twinkles in her eyes. Her steep affections for him were once again threatening to unravel as she quickly let go of his hand.
“I can’t allow you to do that… to go unsupervised! I thought I was to come with you so you wouldn’t get lost or something. I have to make sure you’re safe. I’m your big brother! First years aren’t supposed to go. We’ll go next week. I promise I’ll come with--“
“All right, all right. We’ll… definitely go next week,” she nudged him to go inside so he wouldn’t notice her eyes that were watering heavily.
Sam couldn’t help but be moved by his care and kindness once again. She knew she had to lie to him about not going, because it was the only way to relieve his guilt of letting her down. Deep inside though, she realized she must go to Hogsmeade today. She had to go and buy something for him and Ginny, something that would allow them to always find each other no matter how far apart they were, and it had to be today, because there might not be a next week for her.
“I don’t… need you to worry about me, Harry. I… can take care of myself. Only worry about Ginny, okay? She’s the one with a cold! Her door is unlocked,” she reiterated in a motherly tone.
Harry continued to linger by the door because he was still thinking about Sam, “I promise you. We’ll go to Hogsmeade next week when your leg feels better. Just you and me! That’s the week just before Christmas exams… and… I’ll buy you anything you want… candy… silly girl stuff…”
Harry paused awkwardly because he noticed she suddenly covered her mouth and her body was trembling.
“Sam…”
Before he could complete his sentence, Sam lunged at him and squeezed him inside Ginny’s room.
After Harry tiptoed in, Sam immediately wrapped her throbbing hand on the doorknob to shut the door, leaving him no choice but to forget about her. Before she closed the door, she left a wide enough crack because she wanted to admire him for the last time, and to catch a final glimpse of the boy she loved dearly.
“Ginny, you are so right about me,” she cried silently to the crack. “Now… I understand why… you said I remind you of you this morning…
“You told me when you first met Harry… you were only eleven… like me… and you admired him from your room through the crack of your door… just like what I’m doing now…
“And… you will close the door… as soon as you’ll catch him looking at you with his sparkling green eyes…”
Just when Harry was seemingly poking his head to the door, checking for Sam, she abruptly closed it, effectively separating her from him, perhaps forever, she thought despairingly to herself.
“Please take care of each other,” she whimpered tearfully, her shoulders heaved with sobs as she unwound her cloak to reveal a pale blue box tucked underneath. It was Harry’s birthday present to Ginny and it was still unopened.
“Harry, you’re smiling again… I finally get to see you truly smile again. That means… it’s time for me to go…
“I’ll never forget what you’ve given me these past few months… because of you I was able to feel… experience… all the human emotions… the joy… and pain of love… the sweetness, sourness, spiciness, and bitterness, exactly as how Dumbledore described to Ginny about love.
“I am lucky... and proud... to be chosen to have love grace my life… and that it was you, Harry Potter… who I fell in love with…” she grinned satisfyingly behind her tears.
“I’ll miss you…” she covered herself with the cloak and quickly limped to the Hogsmeade gathering spot, preserving the little energy she had left by letting go of her tears, allowing them to flood her face freely underneath the cloak.
“See ya…”
A/N: Harry’s visions in this chapter are found in chapters 1, 2, and 6 of story 1. These visions allow me to write about the two mistletoe scenes from Harry’s perspective and clarify why he did what he did. Dumbledore’s description to Ginny about love is found in the conclusion of story 2. At the time, Sam is in the form of a dove statue, hidden safely in Dumbledore’s sleeve.
The Boy Next Door by gossipweaver
Chapter Notes: When spring winds finally grace his face… that’s when cold tears will wilt her face…