January 24th, 1944
I just did something appalling.... My hand is shaking uncontrollably as I write this.... It’s a miracle I’m even alive. I thought Tom was going to KILL me!
---
The day had been relatively quiet, and though there was still a ton of snow on the ground and the air was exceedingly cold, Miriam still took refuge outside to clear her head. While her friends busied themselves by pelting slush balls at the Slytherins (one in particular hitting Libby McNair right in the gut), Miriam walked along the banks of the lake. She was so deep in thought, that she didn’t realize she had walked the entire length of the lake and was now facing the Forbidden Forest. The forest didn’t seem so scary now with all the snow covering the bare tree branches. In fact, it was almost very pretty to behold.
Continuing walking toward one of the large oaks, she sat down in a dry patch of grass. Sure she’d have sticks and bits of grass stuck to her rear, but she didn’t care. Sighing, she leaned back against the tree, enjoying the peace and quiet it provided.
So wrapped up in the moment of tranquility, she was scared nearly half to death when something grayish and green shot out by her face from behind. Sitting, or more likely coiled in front of her, was an angry Vipera.
“Go away!” she hissed, but the snake didn’t listen. Instead, it lunged at her again, narrowly missing her face by a few inches. Frightened, she pulled out her wand, ready to attack back. “Stupefy!”
The snake recoiled, and then lunged again. “Stupefy!”
Utterly perturbed, the snake sat angrily, watching, hissing angrily... waiting for the right opportunity to attack. Miriam got up from her seat and slowly began backing away, her wand pointed directly at Vipera. Miriam broke into a run, hoping to make it back to the castle. Not fully watching where she was going, she tripped up on a snow-covered boulder, hitting her head on the hard ground. Semi-groggy from the impact, she saw her wand fly out of her grasp and land around five feet from her. This was the opportunity Vipera was waiting for.... The snake hissed, revealing its razor sharp teeth.
Half-delusional, Miriam felt around for something to protect herself with. Her hand brushed over something sharp.... Picking it up, she looked at it through bleary eyes and saw it was a jagged piece of stone. Gripping it tightly with her right hand, she swung it at Vipera as the snake vaulted toward her. The jagged rock had made contact with the serpent, cutting a deep gash in its side. There was a shower of blood, tinting her and the white snow around her bright shades of red.
Wheezing, Miriam sat up, her head throbbing more violently now. She looked around and gasped at the blood-soaked snow and at Vipera who was withering nearby. Gasping for breath, she dragged herself through the snow, her head still pounding painfully. It felt like it was about to burst open.... Miriam crawled a few more inches before her concussion became worse and she gave out, collapsing on the cold, snowy ground. It wasn’t until later that evening that she woke up and found herself in the infirmary.
“Goodness, you’re awake finally!” Michellina sighed, looking relieved. It was definitely a good thing that she no longer had a headache as she had a ton of questions floating around her head.
“How’d I get here?” she mumbled.
“One of the students found you, and thank heavens they did! They found you face down in a snow bank. You could have died of hypothermia!” Michellina exclaimed quietly, as not to wake her other patients. “To top it off, you were lying in bloodied snow! A dead snake was a mere few feet from you, and a jagged rock was in your hand! What happened?”
Miriam racked her brain, trying to remember what had transpired. “I... I was sitting by myself, and it tried to attack me. I ran, but I tripped and hit my head on the ground and my wand flew out of my hand. It... it leapt at me and... and that’s when I found the rock and... and swung at it,” she replied, her voice still barely above a whisper. “My head was pounding, and I crept a few feet... and that's all I remember.”
“You should get some rest now,” Michellina said. “You’ve had a very trying day."
After fluffing Miriam’s pillows, the nurse headed off to her office. Sighing, Miriam closed her eyes, ready to fall asleep, but she wasn’t tired. Remembering she had her diary tucked safely under her robes, she pulled it out and began to write.
~*~
When she finished writing her experiences of the day, she tucked it back inside her robes. Feeling rather sleepy, she situated herself more comfortably on the bed and closed her eyes.
Ugh. It was getting harder to breathe.... It was hot, stuffy, and very uncomfortable.... Immediately she couldn’t breathe at all. Flailing her arms around, she tried to move whatever was restricting her breathing.... Her breath quickened... her heart was racing... she thought she was going to pass out again.... She opened her eyes and what she saw almost made her heart stop.... Tom was standing over her, his hands over her mouth, his face ashen and livid.
“Mmmph!” she screamed, trying to push him off of her. Grabbing his hand, she tried to loosen his grip on her face, but he only pushed down harder. Her mind was going bleary... his pale face looking even more angrier.... “You killed her! I’ll KILL you!” She gasped, and then everything went black around her....
Her head was pounding, her chest felt as if it had a twenty-pound weight sitting on it. Reluctantly opening her eyes in case Tom was still around, she received quite a shock to see the infirmary empty. Surely he couldn’t have left the infirmary without Michellina hearing him.... Had it just been an awful nightmare? She simply wasn’t sure... it had seemed so real....
February 13th, 1944
I can’t help but wonder about that night.... The whole school knows about what happened, how I killed Vipera. Tom isn’t taking this too well. He won’t look, speak, or even be in the same room as me... no big loss, I suppose. It wasn’t like I was speaking to him anyway....
---
“Do you really think he’d try to kill you?” Marcella asked, worriedly.
“Probably,” Miriam replied darkly. “What’s to stop him? He’s killed Myrtle, managed to expel Hagrid, and cursed my ex-boyfriend by using an Unforgivable! Killing me would just be the icing on his cake.”
~*~
It was after dinner, and Miriam had decided to visit Dumbledore. She needed to get some things off her chest, to someone who could possibly help sort out the things with her brother and possibly tell him what she knew. Discreetly leaving the Great Hall, she treaded up toward Dumbledore’s office, hoping with all hope that Tom wouldn’t discover her in his office.
Knock! Knock! The sound of footsteps and a gentle voice calling out, “Who is it?”
“It’s me, Miriam Riddle. I... I wish to talk to you.”
Slowly the door opened and an auburn-haired wizard came into view. He held the door open for Miriam as she walked into his office.
“What do you wish to speak about?” he asked gently as he closed the door. Miriam sat down as Dumbledore took his seat behind the desk. He looked at Miriam, his electric blue eyes searing through her. “Is it about your brother?”
“I - I... how did you know?” she asked, raising an eyebrow, slightly surprised, but Dumbledore ignored her question.
Miriam opened her mouth, but no words escaped. Closing her mouth, she took a deep breath, and then opened her mouth again. Speaking seemed to have disappeared from her functions as she sat there, her mouth hanging open.
“I - I - I’m sorry to have bothered you,” she mumbled very quicky, hurriedly getting up out of her seat and quickly leaving his office. Outside, she leaned back against the brick wall and grabbed her face with her hands, mentally kicking herself for not being able to speak up and tell Dumbledore what she knew about Tom. Quietly wrapped up in her moment of despair, she was unaware of someone watching her... the very last person she wanted to see her standing by Dumbledore’s office. Though he didn’t make his presence known, he had the look of utmost anger upon his face. He stormed off, a plan formulating in his evil mind....
"She's becoming way too suspicious!" Tom complained. "She's going to ruin everything!"
Tom was pacing back and forth in a vacant classroom, telling his mentor his problems. “I just saw her coming back from Dumdledore’s office...”
"Hush! Someone could hear you!" Grindelwald barked through the fireplace, his slitted eyes glowing dangerously. "You can remedy this problem, if you’re strong enough to handle it, so listen closely...."
“I’m listening....”
February 15th, 1944
I don’t know where to begin writing this... I’m still sorting out the hazy details in my head.... Everything bad seems to happen to me, doesn’t it?
---
“Hey Miriam!” Tom called out, that afternoon. He was by himself, standing against the wall by the main hall, his arms crossed over his chest. Miriam looked quizzically at her friends, who shrugged their shoulders. Tom was, apparently, wanting to speak to her again.
“I’ll be there in a second,” she called back. “I have to go,” she said to her friends as she walked away. "What's wrong?" she asked, eyeing him rather suspiciously. Tom remained still for a moment, watching... waiting for her friends to leave them alone. As soon as Sophie and Marcella were gone and out of earshot, he replied with his voice as casual as ever, "I need to show you something outside."
Uncertainty surging through her, Miriam reluctantly headed out the main entrance; unbeknownst to her, Tom wasn't following. He looked around one more time to make sure the coast was clear and then yelled, "Imperio!"
A shot came out from his wand, and Miriam stopped dead in her tracks. She felt woozy as she lost control of herself; her mind went fuzzy. A distant voice called out inside her head... Follow me.
Poor Miriam had no choice but to oblige his every command. They walked out the front door, Tom closely following behind her as to not draw any unwanted attention to them, and he slipped something into her robe pocket. If anyone did see them, it would look innocently enough like a brother merely walking with his sister. He led her to the far edge of the Forbidden Forest and away from any prying eyes. He stopped, then turned to face his glassy-eyed, Imperio'd twin.
Grab it! Tom's voice ordered her. She slowly reached into her pocket. Good, his voice continued.
Though she was under a spell, an Unforgivable one at that, she tried hard to resist obeying him, but she knew that throwing off an Imperius curse was nearly impossible to do. Her hand inside her pocket, she pulled the object out and tightly clasped it in her hand. It was a dagger.
Unwillingly, she raised it, awaiting her next command. Her insides were screaming to her that this wasn't right, but she had no control over herself anymore.
Yes, go on, came the sinister voice.
Though she was helpless, her intuition knew what was going to happen at that precise moment; his actions became very evident to her: He was going kill her, but not by his own hand... but by her own. Making it look like she took her own life would take care of the one person who suspected him the most. He knew that Dumbledore was extremely suspicious of him, but he couldn't very well kill a highly powerful wizard... at least not that easily anyhow. He believed that no one would trust a senile, old crackpot and his theories that Prefect Tom was really a despicable murderer.
A simple 'accident' would take care of at least one suspicious person. As he thought this, a wicked smile quivered onto his face. Miriam wasn't going down without a fight, and she willed herself to regain control. It was a difficult struggle as Tom called out his next order. Plunge the dagger into your heart!
Another voice sounded in the back of her mind.... Hers. No! her head screamed as her arm slowly began descending down, the dagger pointing directly at her. No! I can do it! I can beat it!
The dagger was merely inches from her, and she would be dead in a matter of seconds. Time seemed to slow down as her arm continued to lunge downward.
I can do this! She concentrated and focused all her energy on lifting the Imperius curse. The dagger was now starting to poke through her clothes and into her skin.... Blood started gushing out in torrents... a loud shriek of pain escaped from her mouth as she fell to her knees... she knew she was dead....
.... Or was she?....
She opened her eyes... she was alive, but for how long, she wondered. Her insides were shaking over that awful, yet realistic, nightmare he planted in her mind....
The dagger was still placed in her hand, high above in the air. Tom hadn’t given her the command yet to kill herself. He stood there, a deliciously malevolent grin on his face, obviously savoring every minute of watching her hand clutch the hilt of the dagger, completely glassy-eyed and helpless....
Her mind spoke up, pushing Tom's voice aside. No! I mustn’t let him...
You know you want to do it... his voice called out. Without Henry, your life is nothing....
No! I won’t die!
You meddlesome fool! You’re under my control now! You know far too much! Tom’s handsome face began to take on an ugly look. Her arm began to quiver; it was getting tired from being up for so long. Finally, after what seemed like eternity, Tom gave the call. Do it!
No!
Her head was hurting as she tried to ignore his commands.... It was difficult, much too difficult... but she had to try.... Concentrating was taking all her energy....
You’re dead, Miriam. Dead. I’m going to sit here and watch you die now. Take your time, his voice echoed. I’m in no hurry....
Struggling, she focused aggressively on taking control of herself again. Falling to her knees, her hand became progressively unsteady as she fought it.
No! I can beat this....
No you can’t....
Yes I can!
No....
Slowly, the opposing voice began to fade away.... The only voice she could hear now were her own thoughts.... Tom’s eyes were wide; his lip began to curl as he stared at her in disbelief. The disbelief that his sister had successfully thrown off the Imperius curse raged through him. Miriam heaved the dagger into the ground, where it landed straight up. She couldn't make sense of what had just happened. Looking at Tom, whose face now wore a look of deepest malevolence, biting his bottom lip hard....
Quickly, before he could try and do more harm to her, she ran back to the castle, her vision becoming blurred as tears started running down her cheeks.
“... Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid...”
March 21st, 1944
It’s been over a month now since Tom tried to have me kill myself. I’ve been having horrible nightmares every night since then, and I always wake up in sheer terror, dripping in cold sweat despite the still cool weather.
I haven’t spoken about it to anyone, not even my friends. I don’t know how they’ll react....
Just when I thought things might be picking up after my depression over breaking up with Henry, it’s like this gigantic black hole has swallowed me up again... and it’s name is Thomas Marvolo Riddle... heir apparent to Grindelwald....
---
In the past month, Miriam’s once healthy stature took an alarming drop. Her slender figure had taken on an almost anorexic appearance. Food held little to no interest to her anymore; she only ate just enough to get her through the night. Sophie and Marcella were extremely distressed over this recent decline in their friend. No matter how hard they tried to cheer her up, she would simply ignore them, though it pained her to ignore the only people who actually cared for her.
There were some nights when she was so depressed that she sometimes wondered why she just didn’t follow through with Tom’s plans to kill her.
After all, what good is it that I live anymore? was her reasoning for feeling that way.
Aside from drowning her sorrows in the homework the teachers were ladling on them, there wasn’t much time for anything else.
~*~
After classes that day, Sophie and Marcella cornered Miriam into a vacant classroom, their faces grim with concern.
“What’s wrong with you?” they asked simultaneously.
“What do you mean 'what’s wrong with me' ?” she responded, not meeting their eyes, but instead looking at her feet.
“Look at you!” Sophie exclaimed. “You’re skin and bones! We know you have barely eaten anything in the past month. You were like this when... when you and Henry broke up..."
"Yeah, we knew about that, but we didn't say anything because we thought you wanted your space," Marcella interjected.
"- and well... we want to know what’s got you down again," Sophie continued.
How could Miriam even begin to tell them?
~*~
When Miriam finished regaling her friends about what had happened that day near the Forbidden Forest with Tom, Marcella and Sophie looked pallid and traumatized.
“Why... why didn’t you tell us?” Sophie squeaked, her voice barely above a whisper.
Miriam shook her head and turned her back toward them. “I can hardly wrap my mind around it either. Speaking about it... it’s just... too frightening. What if I wasn’t able to throw off that Imperius curse? I’d be dead right now!”
“You’ve got to talk to Dumbledore! He really ought to know what’s been going on!” Marcella stressed. “Tom should be expelled!”
“Really?” Miriam snapped abruptly, turning around to face her friends. “Don’t you think that telling Dumbledore about what’s going on hasn’t crossed my mind already?”
Marcella looked taken aback. “I’m sor ““
”Every time he catches me leaving Dumbledore’s office, he does something evil to me! He always seems to know I'm there! It's like a ruddy sixth sense with him” she continued, yelling. “He... he... he tortured Henry with the Cruciatus curse and Obliviated it from his memory so he wouldn’t remember his attacker. I had to break up with him just so if I ever got the nerve to squeal to Dumbledore, Henry could stay safe! He still doesn’t remember to this day who attacked him. And obviously I just told you about Tom’s newest plot to try and have me killed by my own hands! I really don’t know why he’s doing this!” she exclaimed.
“We just wished you came to us at least,” Sophie said. “You’re our dearest friend; you shouldn’t have had to carry this burden alone.”
At these words, tears began to spill over. Her friends cradled her in their arms as Miriam let out the emotions she carried with her for most of the year. Feeling so safe in her friends' arms, she wished this feeling would last forever.
“We should be the ones to tell Dumbledore,” Sophie sighed.
“No! I told you, Tom has a sixth sense when it comes to that! If he finds out, he’ll make you guys pay dearly. Please don’t!”
May 7th, 1944
Before I know it, it’ll be time to head back to Mme. Westyn’s for the summer. To tell you the truth, I really don’t want to go back. I hate being in a place where I’m obviously not wanted; and since Dumbledore won’t be around, it’ll give Tom ample chance to try and kill me without Dumbledore breathing down his neck.
I must really talk to Sophie and Marcella and ask if I could spend the summer with one of them....
---
It was settled. Miriam had talked with her friends that evening during dinner in the Great Hall and they came upon the decision that Miriam could spend the summer with Sophie.
“You don’t know how much this means to me,” Miriam sighed, feeling much relieved that she wouldn’t have to go back to Madame Westyn’s, alone with Tom.
“I always wanted to have you spend the summer with me,” Sophie grinned.
“I promise I’ll write every day!” Marcella exclaimed.
“You have to promise to visit, too,” Miriam said.
“I promise!” Marcella replied, crossing her heart with her finger.
Miriam took a deep breath and couldn’t help but smile. This was the happiest she had ever been the entire year.
June 7th, 1944
Tonight is the leaving feast. I can’t believe that this semester is already over with. Good thing, too. This was one of the most profoundly difficult and emotionally draining years I’ve ever had to weather.
In just twenty-four hours I’ll be safe in Sophie’s house, meeting her family, getting as far away from Tom as possible....
Speaking of him, somehow he found out about me going to stay with Sophie for the summer. He asked why I was leaving him like this.... I said quite firmly to him that after all the evil things he’s done these past school year, he and Mme. Westyn deserve each other....
---
Tom stared at her for a moment, taking in the words spoken by his sister. When comprehension finally dawned on his face, he threw his hand into his robe, ready to hex her for saying that. Luckily, Miriam was spared the agony of having to endure a very painful curse as Professor Ambley walked past them. Not waiting for the engraved invitation, Miriam took the opportunity to rub as far as she could away from Tom.
A/N: Lyrics used above are from the song "Because of You" by Kelly Clarkson.
Hey guys! Earlier this year, I had started a continuation to this story by having it pick up during book seven. Kind of like a 'where are they now?' sort of thing. It was going to have some of the characters from here, following my version of events in book seven. I already wrote a few chapters, but stopped when I realized the continuation story wasn't going to be finished, edited, and posted before the last book came out. I mean, it just wouldn't make sense to have my version of book seven out when the real book seven is already out. Right?
Why am I telling you this, you ask? Because I want you all to enjoy the few chapters left in this fic, starting with the next one which will cover their seventh, and final, year at Hogwarts. I have decided that once it's over, it's over.... No continuation story. Though I can be persuaded if given the right argument. ;-)