Day 853 - Seeing as how I may very well be a Queen (along with Queen of the Universe), I may force Wormtail to test my food before I eat it just to see if it’s poisoned or not.
Day 861 - Sad to say, but torturing Wormtail is growing a bit thin. I must really find myself a new hobby....
Day 869 - I overheard one of the Death Eater’s talking about some strange Muggle invention called a ... television. My interest piqued, I found out all I could about this. I discovered that in order to make television, one has to have something called a ... camera.
Hmmm... Must divulge further into this matter.
Day 873 - I have decided to conjure myself this camera contraption. While Voldy was busy with his nightly therapeutic bubble bath (he gets very tense), I saw my chance... his wand was lying unoccupied on his bed....
Day 895 - I've finally figured out how this strange contraption works and have gotten some... uh... films... recorded. On top of it, I have also decided on a nice beginning for them. Here's what I have planned:
(Cue to moi)
“Hello, my name is Nagini. I have brought you many classic films, such as Voldy in the Shower and Voldy on the Toilet. Now, I am pleased to bring you my greatest film to date, The Eternal Struggle.”
(Cue to my recently acquired film showing a wasted Voldy trying to dress himself. “Damn these one-legged pants!” he yells.)
I must admit, getting this film wasn’t nearly as scary as the first two. I may be scarred for life....
Day 900 - Voldy’s hatching another sinister plan for that prat Harry Potter. He stormed about the Riddle Mansion, bragging to anyone who’d listen. I haven’t heard all the gory details, but word on the street is it ends with him feeding Harry to me.
Can we all saw EWWW now? No way am I going to eat that artery clogging, high-in-saturated-fat, overly carb-y kid.
Though it’s, thankfully, not as bad as the time he suggested feeding Wormtail to me.
God, talk about DISGUSTING! I swear, I would have had to gargle with bleach and kill myself afterwards if I had to eat him.
Luckily, he doesn’t know about my films yet. Not that I plan on telling him, mind you.... I like living....
Day 907 - Good news! Today Voldy announced that since we have reached our monthly quota of Muggle killings, he’s taking all of us on a retreat to the beach! YAY! I could do with a tan....
Day 910 - Ahh, the sun, sand, and sea. What more could I ask for? Quiet, peacefulness, and serenity. Okay, so that much isn’t true. There isn’t as much quietness, peacefulness, and serenity as I imagined because Voldy is sun tanning (and sleeping) RIGHT-NEXT-TO-ME! Oh, ewww! I think he's drooling!
The others are milling about. Bella is sun tanning topless (EWW!), Fenrir is dressed head-to-toe in winter clothes (apparently he hates the sun), and Lucius is snorkling in the water.
Still Day 910 - Forgive me if this page is smudged and blurry, but I have seen a truly revolting sight and am currently soaking my eyes in the stinging salt water, trying to cleanse them as I write.
As I lay sunbathing earlier today, my eyes fell upon something unspeakable: Wormtail in a Speedo.
In an apparent stare of delirium, I managed to secretly capture him on film, but now, I’m feeling sick to my stomach just thinking about it.
Excuse me while I dunk my head into the salty water again.... I may refuse any future meals from now on. I don’t think my stomach could handle it....
Day 915 - I haven’t eaten much since that day. Thinking about it brings on nauseousness, and I immediately run for the nearest bathroom so I can puke.
Voldy is becoming worried about my health. He keeps asking me in Parseltongue if there is anything wrong.
How... where... how do I begin to explain to him about that... that awful sight????
Day 920 - We’re back home. I have a nice tan, which complements my green scaly skin, but I am so freaking famished. I have slowly started accepting food again, though not in large amounts. It may take a while....