Day 988 ” With the aid of magic, Voldy has magically made the garden grow in rapid time. Unfortunately, tonight, he’s forcing us all to eat ALL… THE… STUFF… HE’S… GROWN.
MERLIN…. SAVE. ME. NOW!
I don’t wanna get food poisoning!
Still Day 988 ” I… I’m still alive! Voldy’s “cooking” (and I use the term “cooking” loosely), could do with a lot of help, but it beats out dry snake food any day. With all those veggies I was forced to eat, I thought I was going to turn into a veggie-head. Though my *cough* suffering was nothing to how Snape, or the other Death Eaters looked. Severus kept poking the veggies with his fork; Bella turned her nose up at it all; Lucius raised his eyebrows; and Wormtail seemed… pleased. He’s weird anyway, so you must excuse him.
After a few minutes, Voldy threatened us: If we did not eat his cooking, he was going to Imperio us all, force us to eat them, and as if that wasn’t horrible enough, Voldy said he was going to make us watch the Care Bears on a continual loop for the next 15 hours. Bella nearly broke into tears.
Day 991 ” For the last few days, I have eaten nothing but broccoli at EVERY FREAKING meal. I am beginning to turn green… wait! I’m already green, so what am I talking about? Either way, all this broccoli blows. To make it worse, every meal time, Voldy serves us while wearing some ridiculous apron and white hat that he calls a “chef’s hat.”
*sigh* First the pink gardening gloves, now this…
Day 992 ” It’s official… I live in the House of Freaks. On one of my many travels throughout the Mansion, I came upon Bella bottling something that smelled strangely of chocolate and… flowers. Curious, I slithered in to see what that scent was. Upon further inspection, I saw that she had brewed Amortentia. I wondered who the lucky *cough* (excuse me) unlucky person was. I nearly retched when I overheard her telling Narcissa that she was making it to give to Voldy.
OH, please, no! Horrible… thought… entering… head! Must... make… it… stop… NOW!
*screams*
(The woman obviously needs her head examined…)
Day 994 ” Not only has Bella slipped Voldy the love potion, but every time they’re in a room together, they… they… I can’t even write about it. It’s way too disturbing. Oh, shiitake mushrooms, I think I hear them now, snogging their foolish brains out.
I’ve like, so had it here!
… I wish I were deaf…
Day 996 ” Here I am, staying at a place I never thought I’d be… The Hogshead Inn… drinking butterbeer with someone I’d never thought possible… Fawkes. Yes, the bloody bird is sitting directly across from me, telling me his life problems in cute, squeaky little chirps. Apparently he’s suffering from some detachment issues since Dumbledore died. Apparently, ol’ Snivelly did him in with the Avada Kedavra curse, near the Astronomy Tower at Hogwarts.
Memo to me: Don’t tick off Snape.
*sigh* Maybe it’s the butterbeer talking, but I’m finding myself strangely attracted to this bird…
Day 997 ” Oh… my head. Too many butterbeers for me. Apparently that stuff is alcoholic to us animals…. Though, I was in for the shock of my life when I looked over and saw myself lying next to that bloody bird! Oh sweet Merlin! I don’t remember a thing that happened last night!
Eh… maybe it’s for the best that I don’t remember anything…
Day 999 ” I’ve been gone for a few days now, yet nobody’s bothered to come look for me. I half-expected Voldy to come crawling on hands and knees searching for me, begging me for my forgiveness, and bawling that I’m the only girl in his life and not that skanky Bella. But no. I, apparently, am just an afterthought.
Humph!
Day 1,000 ” I have come to the decision that nobody is coming to look for me, so I will go look for a new place to live. Perhaps I can go to Hogwarts. Or maybe I can just travel around and make the world my home - and maybe torment a few Muggles along the way!
Decisions, decisions…
… Eh, maybe I’ll just go to Hogwarts. I hear Slughorn loves sugary sweets. He should be slow enough for me to torment…*smirk*
Still Day 1,000 ” I just discovered today that Fawkes is also going to Hogwarts. I accidentally let it slip that I was looking to go, so he offered to fly me there, but how uncomfortable is that going to be? Besides now, we haven’t exactly spoken (or seen) each other since *cough* that night…
Day 1,003 ” Well, talk about uncomfortable. I haven’t been that uncomfortable with someone since I “accidentally” turned Wormtail into the world’s ugliest woman and Voldy caught me with his wand in my mouth.
Day 1,004 ” Today, I will begin my new life at Hogwarts…
Excerpts from Nagini's Diary by Scheherazade
Chapter Notes: This chapter may be considered more 3rd-5th years because of implied... well, you know. ;-)