Day 1,007 ” Forget the "Emancipation of Mimi," it's all about the "Emancipation of Nagini." I'm FREE! Free of Moldyshorts; free of that very disturbed woman, Bella; and free of that spaz Wormtail!
If I might say so, life is good!
Day 1,008 - I have been here for a few days now, and I've had the time of my life! It's so weird seeing the teachers during the off-season. Apparently, I arrived a bit too late to enjoy torturing the students. Oh well. There's always the teachers to annoy. Especially the one they call "McGonagall." The woman looks like she has a stick up her butt 24/7. Boy, does she need to loosen up and relax.
Day 1,010 - Fat, slow, and waddles like a duck. Thy name is Horace Slughorn, the slowest man to grace the face of the earth. I saw him earlier in the Great Hall, carrying what looked like some kind of candy treat. Luckily for me, there was a small hole in the bag, and I could get my tongue in there to eat some. Yummy!
Day 1,011 - Upon my arrival at the school, I immediately made my new home inside that Potter prat's dormitory, namely on his bed. (It's very comfortable, I might add. Especially the pillow.) How do I know this is his dormitory? Mess. Lots of it. Girls aren't nearly that cleanliness-impaired. That, and the over abundance of red and gold decorations throughout the place.
Tomorrow I may check out McGonagall's office and see what kind of damage I can do there.
Day 1,012 - As I made my way into McGonagall's vacant classroom today, I saw an opportunity calling to me. Pushing a chair close to the blackboard, I wrote in large letters, "NAGINI RULZ!"
Let's see what she makes of that. Hee... hee....
Day 1,015 - NO! It... it can't be! I just remembered some most horrible! My... my dreaded birthday is coming up in a few days. I don't wish to say how old I'll be, even here. It's a secret that shall die with me. Even Voldy didn't know.
Like I'd tell him how old... er... young I am. Pfft.
Day 1,016 - For the love of Merlin! How my family knew to send my birthday gifts here is anybody's guess. Oh, and to make things worse, they sent me one of those horrible, ungainly tube sweaters. *shudders*
People, it's summer! I don't need a sweater. *sigh* Especially one that is the most ugliest shade of puke orange imaginable. That is so going to clash with my green skin. (It must've been picked out by my great-aunt Ethelinda. The woman's color blind apparently, and she has no sense of style....) Though, the cake they sent me is scrumdidillyumptious!
Day 1,020 - I fear I may start to waddle soon. I have eaten nothing but cake for the past few days, and now, I'm way too stuffed to move. My gut is starting to bulge, and I worry I may explode into 'Nagini bits' if I eat anymore.
Oh, the agony.... Somebody, please shoot me and put me out of my misery!
Day 1,022 - I literally had to raid the kitchens to find some kind of antacid.
Bless the people who created antacids, be they Muggle or Wizard. Why... uh-oh... I feel a huge burp coming on....
Oh, Merlin!
Day 1,023 - Strange creatures they are, House Elves. Willing to bend over backwards if I ask. Hmm... that gives me an idea, but back on topic. They actually called me “Master Nagini.”
Ha! Take that Moldyshorts! The only thing he ever said to me was, “Come here, Nagini...,” “Do my bidding, Nagini...,” or my personal favorite, “What do you think of my new evil plan, Nagini.” Oh, and let's not forget those hideous times he tried to get me to eat Wormtail. EW. I really must learn to suppress those awful memories.
I get no respect. Ever. Not once did he ever call me “Master Nagini.” Pfft.
Day 1,027 - Uh-oh! I better leave Hogwarts as quickly as I can! I’ve just overheard the anal-one (a.k.a. McGonagall), tell the staff that a spy is in the castle! They mean me! Oh, crap! I knew I shouldn’t have written “Nagini Rulz” on her blackboard...
Just call me mint jelly, 'cause I’m on the lamb....
Day 1,031 - I'm as far from Hogwarts I can possibly get; in fact, I'm back at The Hog's Head Inn. I barely made it out of that school alive!
Day 1,032 - Hmm... I was thinking, this seedy pub would be the perfect place for me to showcase my Voldy Films. It just so happens that somebody left their wand lying about, so I conjured the films back to me.
Oh, sweet films, how I've missed thee! Now if only I could get in touch with Rita Skeeter. I'm sure she would just love to get a hold of these films....
Wait! Hold that thought.... I do believe I just saw a beetle floating around here somewhere. YES! There she is! I recognize the markings. (I do, after all, know all about her framing that Potter prat.... Read all about it in The Daily Prophet.)
Ha! Sweet, sweet revenge against the one person who doesn’t appreciate me any more....
Operation: Embarrass the Hell out of Voldy is now in action....