Chapter 12 Luna's Scoop
As usual Hermione was wearing her nursing cap and cape at dinner on Thursday evening and Harry sat next to her. Colin Creevy took a photograph of them. Harry didn't think anything of it because Colin took pictures all of the time.
After dinner, it was usually time to head out to the Quidditch pitch. Harry thought they needed all of the practice they could get, but he decided to cancel practice. He wasn't bothered by a little rain or wind. But tonight there was a lot of rain and wind with lightening and a chance of hail too. That was enough to keep even Oliver Wood inside. It gave Harry a chance to corner Ron and find out what he had learned from Kingsley Shacklebolt about the investigation.
"The spell that dissolved your bones was set off by a wizard who was in the hall," Ron explained. "He needed a good line of sight, but it's impossible to tell where he stood."
"So who does he suspect," Harry asked. "Malfoy and company?"
"Malfoy's been watched since the attack on Hermione in the bathroom," Ron said.
"Another Slytherin student that follows Voldemort?" Harry asked.
"Maybe," Ron answered. "That second year Slytherin boy was probably killed by his house mates to keep him quiet. It could have been a student with an unregistered wand."
"Were there Slytherins in the entry hall when I was attacked?" Harry asked.
"There were a lot of people around," Ron answered, "he may have been on a balcony."
"Why did you go after Winky?" Harry asked.
"Mr. Filch shouted. He saw movement by a tapestry. I ran over there and she ran away. Since she was running, I chased her," Ron said. "She's been questioned. She didn't attack you, but she was following you."
"I thought the elves were following me," Harry said. "Could it have been another elf?"
"Possibly," Ron said. "Shacklebolt has a lot of suspects. Some you wouldn't think of."
"Like who?" Harry asked.
"Maybe Cho hexed you and then saved you," Ron said.
"That's crazy," Harry said. "Why would she do that?"
"To make you fall in love with her," Ron explained. "Shacklebolt even mentioned me."
"You? Why?" Harry asked.
"He said I could be jealous about Hermione," Ron answered. "Why didn't you have your Firebolt when you fell?"
"You asked me to hand it to you, so you could so show it to Jack." Harry recalled.
"I gave your Firebolt to Jack," Ron said, "and I had a perfect angle to hex you."
"You didn't hex me," Harry said.
Shacklebolt has to consider all of the possibilities," Ron explained.
"Two murders and four attempted murders," said Harry, "but how many murderers?"
"Shacklebolt thinks there are several," Ron said, "a group that doesn't use magic and one wizard that does." Ron lowered his voice, "Shacklebolt has rescheduled his Gobstones group to Fridays."
"Kingsley Shacklebolt plays Gobstones!" Harry said in disbelief.
"Those guys are serious, they play for money," Ron said. "The point is the murders were messing up his game night. The ones involving magic always happen on Tuesday evening or Wednesday morning."
On Friday evening they had pizza for dinner. The house-elves at Hogwarts had never fixed pizza before. Some students were joking that they must have hired an Italian house elf. Harry was glad that Hermione was cooking and not scrubbing floors or tending thestrals.
Harry didn't see Hermione until dinner on Saturday evening. She had spent Friday night in the cupboard and worked all day Saturday scrubbing floors. After dinner he escorted her to the hospital so she could work her regular shift. Hermione was exhausted on Sunday morning when Harry and Ron escorted her back to Gryffindor tower. All she wanted to do was to get a few hours of sleep and then catch up on her class work.
"This detention consumes so much time," Hermione complained. "How did you ever keep up with your class work when Umbridge was tormenting you?"
"I had some help from a friend on weekends," Harry replied.
"It's going to be a month before we can start practicing Sympathetic Magic," she moaned.
"Are you still on about that?" Harry asked. "How are we going to do it without the book?"
"Madam Pomfrey loaned it to me," Hermione said cheerily. "She says that since we dove right in we had better learn how to swim. She's been real nice to me. I think she's a hopeless romantic."
Hermione's book bag had indeed gotten even heavier. She was stumbling tired and needed to get to her room but Harry knew he couldn't help carry her books up the stairs to the girl's dormitory. There were only the three of them in the common room and Harry didn't want to wake everybody in the tower by setting off the alarm.
"Hand me your wand, Hermione," Ron said.
"Why do want my wand?" she asked warily.
"It's for an important experiment, and it could save you some pain," Ron explained.
"As long as it's quick," she said, "I'm really very tired."
Ron handed Hermione's wand to Harry and said, "You're the levitating champion, lift her book bag to the top of the stairs."
"What if I set off the alarm!" Harry whispered.
"I'm a Prefect," Ron said. "I'll subdue you and turn you over to the teachers so they can punish you."
Harry levitated Hermione's heavy book bag to the top of the staircase. The alarm didn't go off.
"I could have done that," Hermione said, taking her wand back. "What are you two on about?"
"It's a long story," Ron said.
"I'm too tired for a long story," she said as she trudged up the stairs.
Harry and Ron exchanged a look of triumph.
Sunday afternoon Lavender Brown gave Harry a copy of the latest Witch Weekly. Harry normally didn't read that paper, but the front page was a real grabber:
Her Night of Torture for the Boy She Loves
by Luna Lovegood
Colin's photo of Harry and Hermione was beneath the headline.
The article described the attempt to murder Harry, and favorably mentioned Cho Chang for saving Harry from the fall. But it really focused on Hermione and Harry and the Sympathetic Magic. It described the pain that regrowing bones with Skelegrow causes and it described Hermione’s brave act and her night of suffering in great detail. It was worse than anything Rita Skeeter had ever written, because Luna Lovegood had the facts correct. She portrayed both Harry and Hermione positively and the story was so romantic. It was just so public!
There hadn't been a case of Virgin Sympathetic Bonding in over five hundred years.
Harry felt ill. He dreaded the fan mail that would soon begin arriving. Hermione turned pale when she saw the article. She had slept through breakfast and lunch but she still refused to go down to the great hall for dinner.
The next morning, Professor Lupin intercepted Harry and Hermione on their way to breakfast.
"Good Morning!" Lupin said cheerfully, "how are our two lovebirds this fine day?"
"Lovebirds?" Harry exclaimed.
"Famous lovebirds, I'm afraid," Lupin added. "We're expecting a lot of owls for you two in the next few days. That was quite an extraordinary article in Witch Weekly. I never would have thought that Luna Lovegood would make up lies like that about you two."
"Luna's story was factual," Hermione said flatly.
Lupin came to a sudden stop. He stared at them, and shook his head.
"Like I say, we're expecting a lot of owls,” Lupin said, "and some of them may carry more than irate letters. We've set up an office near the owlery to screen all incoming mail. You'll be able to pick up your letters there, this afternoon."
As soon as their classes were finished Harry and Hermione went up to the mailroom to get their letters. Ron went along because Hermione had to go right to the kitchen and Harry couldn't roam around the castle alone. Madam Trelawney was in the mailroom.
"Professor Lupin has screened your letters and he says that these are all safe," Madam Trelawney said.
She handed a bag of letters to Harry and a larger much heavier bag to Hermione.
"Oh this is great," Hermione said sarcastically. "I don't have time to read all of this."
"Maybe you should just read this one," Trelawney said in the mystical tone of voice she always used in Divination class. "I predict it contains important news."
She handed Hermione an envelope that looked like it came from the Ministry of Magic. It was addressed to Mr. and Mrs. H. Potter, Hogwarts School.
The letter was several pages long but Hermione fainted while reading the first page.
Harry caught her and gently lowered her to the floor. Ron picked up the letter.
"Hermione!" Harry exclaimed. He was relieved to see that she was still breathing.
"Blimey!" Ron said, as he looked at the letter. "You and Hermione are now legally married!"
Ron finished the first page and handed it to Harry.
Dear Harry and Hermione Potter,
It has been reported to the Office of Records, Division of Marriages, Births and Deaths, that you two successfully performed the Sympathetic Bonding Spell last Tuesday evening. The Ministry of Magic recognizes this magical bonding as a form of legally binding marriage, similar to but distinctly different from common law marriage. As such you have certain legal obligations regarding common property and joint tax status.
Since Harry is under the legal age of consent, your relationship is temporarily classified as a binding betrothal. As in an ordinary engagement you are expected to remain faithful to one another until and after your wedding. However because of your magical bond, there are severe consequences if you should attempt to terminate your engagement.
You are admonished to follow the customs and mores of our community and to refrain from consummating your marriage until after a proper wedding.
You will find enclosed the code governing the terms of your betrothal and marriage. Please accept our apologies if some of the rules appear to be a bit old fashioned.
Congratulations and Best Wishes,
Malfalda Hopkirk
Chief Clerk, Office of Records
P.S. All of us in the office think your union is very romantic and we do hope it all works out happily for you.
Hermione began to stir, as she returned to consciousness she began to cry.
"Oh Harry, please forgive me," she begged, "I didn't know. I didn't know." She whimpered, "I didn't study enough. I didn't read the law. I just read the spells. I didn't want to trap you. I didn't know it was permanent. I just didn't want you to suffer. I love you. Please forgive me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry," she sobbed.
"Legal obligations…, common property…, joint tax status…," Ron muttered. "And you're expected to remain faithful to one another, but refrain from consummating," Ron said. "Harry, this says you have to share all of your stuff with her! You can't date other girls! And you don't get any sex! It's like a real marriage!"
The world began to close in on Harry. He was trapped. But he had been trapped before. How could he survive this? He analyzed his options.
"Hermione," Harry said gently as he embraced her. "I love you with all of my heart. I forgive you. We'll make this work out somehow."
After a while the crying stopped. There were hugs and kisses. Harry and Ron left Hermione at the entrance to a secret passage that would take her to an evening of labor with the house-elves. They took her books back to Gryffindor Tower.
"Harry, I'm amazed at the way you handled her," Ron said in awe. "You were so sweet and kind. You helped her to pull herself together. I would have been angry."
"Ron, I'm just sixteen! I'm not ready for marriage! But what were my choices? I can try to live with her in harmony or I'll be stuck with her in misery," Harry said. "I had to pretend that I wasn't angry. And I do love her! What am I going to do with her?"
"The rest of the letter from the Ministry explains the rules for your betrothal," Ron told him. "You'll have to get her a chastity belt."
"What?" Harry choked. "I'm not going to do that!"
"It's the law, Harry!" Ron said. "You have to let her out of her chastity belt at least four times a day so she may seek the comfort of a chamber pot. If you don't get her a chastity belt, you won't be able to let her out of it four times a day!"
"What else do the rules say?" Harry asked in resignation.
"You can always beat her with a stick," Ron said gleefully.
"I'm not going to beat Hermione with a stick!" Harry said emphatically.
"But Harry! The rules say it would be cruel to beat a fair maiden with a whip. If the maiden must be beaten, use instead a wooden rod that is no thicker than the maiden's right thumb, or her left thumb if her right thumb is missing," Ron explained.
"When were these rules written?" Harry asked.
"They were completely revised and updated in 1403," Ron said smiling.
Then Ron turned serious, "You can get a magical divorce. It's an easy process."
"How does it work?" Harry asked.
"You and Hermione exchange wands, and then you break them," Ron said. "There's no paper work," he added solemnly, "the Ministry of Magic doesn't care about Muggles."
Dinner that evening tried Harry's patience. Hermione was in detention.
"Hey Harry, where's your wife?"
"We're just legally betrothed."
"Hi Harry, are you lonely tonight?"
"No."
One would think that the story of what happened to Ginny when she kissed Harry would discourage other girls from trying to kiss him. In fact a rumor began that if a girl really excited Harry, she would get a stronger shock. An amazing number of girls had to find out if this was true. Harry wished that Hermione could be there to keep them away.
But the worst part of dinner that evening was the talk with Cho. Harry hated to see her crying like that.
As mid-October approached and the days grew noticeably shorter, Quidditch practice had to be moved to before dinner. This meant that Harry and the team arrived in the great hall just a few minutes before they cleared away the uneaten food. Harry waved at Hermione as the Hufflepuff boys escorted her and Susan to the hospital. At least tonight when he was asked "Where's your wife, Harry?" he could say Hermione was working in the hospital rather than having to say that she was in detention.
A short time later Harry found himself standing at attention in a row of students in the Gryffindor common room.
"Our mission is to find Tuesday Night," Ron said seriously, "that's the code name we've given to the wizard that murdered Mr. Fudge and attempted to murder Hermione, Professor McGonagall and Harry. If you think you've found him or feel you are in danger, set off a spell, any spell. The alarm will sound and teachers will come."
"Dennis and Joe, what is your mission?" Ron asked.
"To go to the hospital and stay with Hermione, SIR!," said Dennis saluting.
"Good," Ron said, "you'll need to come up with some excuse."
"Harry's patrolling with me," Ron continued. "Colin, you're with Andrew and Jack, watch yourselves, Tuesday Night is deadly. Parvati, you're with Lavender, be careful don't take unnecessary risks. Ginny, you're with…"
"Neville," she said.
"Longbottom, my sister gets a ring before you start snogging her, get it."
"Huh?" said Neville.
"Where do we go first, fearless leader?" Harry asked Ron.
"We're going to follow Dennis and Joe to make sure they get to the hospital," Ron answered.
A short while later Harry and Ron watched the two third year boys in the hall near the hospital.
"OW! You lousy son of a bitch!" Joe exclaimed. "You broke my nose!"
"Tell Hermione that you ran into a door frame," Dennis said. "Complain about the pain until she agrees to let you stay in the hospital overnight."
"You broke my nose, you bastard!" Joe whined.
"You knew this patrol was dangerous," Dennis said.
"I thought Tuesday Night was the dangerous person," Joe complained.
"Keep on story. You ran into a door frame," Dennis instructed.
Dennis knocked on the hospital door.
Joe gave Dennis a vicious knee to the groin.
"What happened to you two!" Hermione exclaimed as she opened the hospital door.
"Dennis slid down a banister and racked himself on the knobby thing at the bottom," Joe explained.
"OOHH!" Dennis moaned.
"I was watching him and I ran into a door frame," Joe finished.
"Oh, you poor boys!" Hermione said sweetly. "Are you in pain Dennis?"
"OOHH!" he moaned.
"Looks like they're doing alright," Ron whispered to Harry.
Ron had reluctantly agreed to end the "Tuesday Night" patrols at midnight because they did all have classes in the morning. Harry and Ron saw nothing suspicious all evening and made their way back towards Gryffindor tower as midnight approached. As they walked towards the portrait of the fat lady, they heard voices from a side corridor.
"Mr. Filch!" Neville exclaimed.
"What!" Filch shouted as he jumped out of the dark corner where he was lurking.
Harry and Ron hurried to the spot where Ginny and Neville had surprised Mr. Filch.
"What are you kids doing out of your dormitory at midnight?" Filch barked.
"We're Prefects and we're on security patrol," Ron answered.
"We're looking for the murderer," Neville said.
"You're looking for trouble," Filch growled.
"All of the murders that involve magic have taken place on Tuesday night or Wednesday morning," Ron said. "It's not safe for you to be out of your office alone."
Filch gave them a dirty look and shuffled down the corridor.
Shortly before dawn Harry and Ron were awakened by the rooster so they could escort Hermione back from the hospital.
"I'm exhausted," Hermione complained. "Usually I can take a couple of short naps during the night, but not with Dennis and Joe fighting. I wanted to petrify both of them," she said angrily. "I'm going to sleep every minute possible before Potions class. Were there any murders last night?"
"No," said Ron yawning, "we didn't catch the murderer last night, but we'll try again."
The following Sunday was a beautiful day but Harry spent the morning studying while Hermione slept. They had to write a paper about the theory of animal transfigurations for Professor McGonagall and it required a lot of research. At noon Harry asked Lavender to wake up Hermione for lunch.
"It's a beautiful afternoon, but this good weather won't last," Harry observed. "Hermione, we're going flying this afternoon, you need the practice."
"Oh Harry, I just can't," she said. "I've got a ton of class work to do, and I was hoping we could spend a few minutes together practicing Sympathetic Magic spells."
"You can study after flying," Harry said. "I'll let you use my notes."
"Come on Hermione," Ron joined in, "we've got permission from Madam Hooch to try some speed runs on the two mile course. Harry's got a Firebolt! We want to break the school record."
"No, I can't do it," Hermione protested.
"Luna Lovegood's going out with us," Ron announced. "Who will Harry fly with?"
"Maybe Cho's not busy," Harry suggested.
"Alright, Alright, I'll do it," Hermione said reluctantly, "as long as it's not too fast."
The two mile course was defined by a flag pole in the practice field near the Quidditch pitch and a second flag pole exactly one mile away on the boat dock in Hogsmead Park on the other side of the lake. The course was almost entirely over open water.
"She's not going as fast as Luna," Ron observed. "That's odd because she's got a better broom."
"She doesn't like to fly," Harry said dryly. "I think she's picking up speed on the way back. What was my speed?"
"One hundred and fifty three miles per hour," Ron answered, "The school record is one hundred and seventy six."
Hermione passed the flag pole.
"What was her speed?" Harry asked.
"Seventy."
Harry walked over to Hermione, who was on her hands and knees.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"I am kissing the ground you walk on Harry Potter," she answered shakily, "the nice firm ground."
"Your speed on the way back was pretty good but you were slow on the way out," Harry said. "You need to really mean it when you put the Velocito charm on your broom. And you've got to decelerate hard before your turn. I'll show you again."
"Velocito,” Harry chanted as he tapped his Firebolt with his wand. “Are you ready Ron?"
At Ron's signal, Harry shot across the lake. He waited until the last possible second before braking hard. He turned sharply around the pole at the boat dock, and zoomed back across the lake. About two hundred yards from shore he passed Hermione who was hovering on her broom over the water. He shot past the marker pole at maximum speed.
"What was my speed?" he asked Ron.
"One hundred and fifty seven."
"What was Hermione doing out over the lake?" Harry asked.
"She was worried that you might fall off your broom," Luna said. "She said you don't swim."
Harry and Ron looked at each other and shook their heads. Then Harry tapped his Firebolt with his wand and chanted "Velocito" as Hermione returned to the practice field.
"Hermione, I want you to go all out this time, as fast as you can," Harry said smiling.
"Alright Harry, I'll do my best," Hermione said nervously as she mounted her broom.
"Use the Firebolt," Harry said.
Hermione's face turned a bit pale. Harry gave her a quick kiss and exchanged brooms.
Reluctantly she mounted the Firebolt and shot out across the lake, much faster than her first run.
“She’s going faster,” Ron observed.
“She ought to, she’s on a Firebolt,” Harry said. “What’s her time at the half?”
Harry looked down at the stopwatch. He heard a gasp from Luna. Hermione was a speck at the other end of the lake. Her turn looked a little sloppy, that would cost her time.
"She's not going as fast as you did," Ron observed.
"I figured she'd loose time in the turn," Harry said analytically. "But she should go faster than me in the straight, she weighs less."
"You're thinking like a Muggle," Ron said. "It's not the weight or the wind resistance or even if you're climbing or diving, it's all about magic."
"What was her speed?" Harry asked, as Hermione passed the finishing pole.
"One hundred and twenty four," Ron answered, "she lost several seconds in the turn."
Harry helped Hermione to her feet. Her face was white and she was shaking.
"Did I do alright, Harry?" she pleaded. "Was I fast enough?"
"You did pretty good. But I think you can do better," Harry said. "Your turn needs to be tighter and you have to concentrate on speed in the straight. I want you to try again."
“I almost fell off my broom in that turn!” she said loudly.
“That means you’re pushing the edge and that’s good. We only have to work on your technique,” Harry said.
“I’m pushing the edge, and that’s good! Did you think I wasn’t really trying?” she shouted. "I don't want to break any records! I just want to fly with you. Have you no sympathy!"
She was trembling and looked like she might cry, or punch him.
"I have sympathy," Harry said, giving her a hug, "I have sympathy…"
"We'll fly together this time!" Harry said holding an arm around her shoulders. "We'll both charm the broom!"
"What are you talking about?" Hermione asked in dread.
"You said Sympathetic Magic could increase the power of ordinary spells! You said we should practice Sympathetic Magic today!" Harry explained enthusiastically.
"You want to use Sympathetic Magic to make a broom go faster?" she said doubtfully.
"Yes!" he said happily, "How do we do it?"
"We have to hold hands or at least be touching each other. We cross our wands and simultaneously chant Conamorae. Next we do the Velocito charm on the broom together," she explained. "But Harry, if it works, the broom will go faster," she said fearfully.
"We'll ride together. Let's do it!" he said.
Harry followed Hermione's directions and they simultaneously cast the Speed Charm on the Firebolt. They mounted the broom, Hermione in front. They leaned down together as low as they could, until Hermione was lying on the broom.
"We're like spoons in a drawer," Harry commented. "When we're on the straight, keep thinking about speed, faster, faster, faster," Harry directed. "I'll shout when it's time to start breaking for the turn."
They shot across the lake, skidded around the turn and zoomed back to the finishing pole.
"One hundred and sixty eight!" Ron shouted, "That's your best time yet!"
"Was that good Harry?" Hermione asked hopefully.
"It was excellent," said Harry.
"Just nine miles per hour faster and you'll break the school record!" Ron said. "Your turn looked a little sloppy, I think you can do better."
"We need to do a good sliding turn," Harry said.
"Didn't we slide that time," Hermione asked nervously.
"Yes, but this time we want to do it right," Harry said. "We'll be flying backwards for a few seconds. I'll need eyes looking back."
Harry thought for a few seconds.
"You're doing a good job of laying low on the broom." Harry told Hermione. "Can you stick your head down and look behind us?"
Hermione did as Harry instructed.
"Can you see the pole directly behind us?" Harry asked.
"Yes but it's all upside down," Hermione said.
"Let's back around the pole, slowly this time. You steer," Harry ordered.
"I'm supposed to steer while looking backwards and upside down!" she exclaimed.
"Yes," Harry confirmed. "It's dangerous for me to turn around at high speed."
"You want me to steer while looking backwards and upside down at high speed!"
"Yes, we want to rotate one hundred and eighty degrees before we reach the mile pole and slow to a stop just barely past it. We have to go around it, so you have to steer us close to it but don't hit it," Harry explained.
"But Harry!" Hermione protested, "I'd have to open my eyes to do that!"
Harry gave his Firebolt to Ron while he and Hermione practiced the sliding turn on her Cleansweep. They spent the next twenty minutes practicing the sliding turn around the finishing pole until Harry thought they should try another speed run. Harry saw that Ron was holding Luna’s broom. Luna was coming in fast.
“One hundred and forty two!” Ron exclaimed. “She beat my time,” he added quietly.
In a few minutes Harry and Hermione made their second attempt together on the Firebolt.
"One hundred and seventy five!" Ron shouted after their second run together.
On their third run together Harry and Hermione broke the Hogwarts record for the two mile run with an average speed of one hundred and eighty miles per hour. They were going well over two hundred miles per hour when they passed the finishing pole.
On their fourth run they averaged one hundred and eighty five miles per hour.
On their fifth run they broke the British record with a speed of one hundred and ninety two.
Harry wanted to break the world record and go for the elusive two hundred miles an hour mark but Hermione begged him to stop. Her arms and legs were fatigued from clutching the broom so tightly. She had a headache from the inverted reverse steering in the sliding turns. And she wanted to study a few hours before another week of detentions and hospital duties began. Harry relented and gave her a big hug and a kiss.
"I'm proud of you Hermione," Harry said as they walked back to the castle. "You don't much like flying, but together we flew the two mile run faster than anyone in Britain. I'm beginning to see your point about Sympathetic Magic."
"It was an amazing achievement," Hermione said quietly, "but we can't tell anyone."
"What!" Ron exclaimed in disbelief. "We can't tell anyone that you broke the British record?"
"What are you thinking Hermione," Luna asked in her usual dreamy tone.
"Luna, we're at war with Lord Voldemort and his followers," Hermione explained. "That prophecy in the Department of Mysteries said that Harry has to fight Lord Voldemort. Harry has to develop some power that Lord Voldemort knows nothing about or he'll be killed. Please, for Harry's sake, for the war effort, today's achievement must remain a military secret."
"I'll keep quiet about it, if Harry and Ron can, on one condition," Luna said.
"What's your condition?" Hermione asked.
"When Harry wins, I get an exclusive interview with all three of you, and you won't tell your full story to anyone else until I can get my book out," Luna said.
"Alright Luna," Hermione said. "You're in the group. There may be other secrets you'll have to keep until the end of the war. But you'll get your book material."
"It's a good deal for me," Luna said. "Neither Witch Weekly nor the Quibbler publishes sports stories. And I don't write for the Daily Prophet.