I was so inspired to write a story to the song My Immortal by Evanescence so here it is.
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
Hermione's POV
I cried myself to sleep that night you left me. That night my world was shattered into a thousand pieces. Now I'm forced to forget you, but I can't, our happy memoirs haunt me.
I ask myself why did you leave me when we had such a great life together? You left your family behind in this world whilst you moved onto the next. I can't tell Tammy the truth about your death, so I tell her you have gone to a place were mummy’s and daddy’s go for a while and come back on a star. I tell her when a rainbow shines, your smiling and if she wants you to smile, she mustn't cry. But Draco you should see her face when she waits for you, waiting for you to tell her stories of fairytales and then how it falls when I tell her that you’re not coming. It's heartbreaking to gaze into her brown eyes, and see sorrow and hurt, I feel she's loosing her spark. She goes to school crying, her teacher owls me telling me she doesn't join in or interact with others, she sits staring at the sky, talking to you. I fear for her, Draco, I fear for her life. I don't want her to wallow in sorrow I want her to be happy, but she may never smile again.
You knew that we would be at risk marrying me when the Dark Lord was still at large, but you did. I don't regret it, but I wonder why did we risk our lives? I asked you that question countless times, but you just said it doesn't matter about death, what matters is that we love eachother. I agreed being young and naive but I wish I had waited until the war had ended and you may still be here with me instead of burried five feet under the ground.
I know you’re still here though, watching over Tammy and me. I guess it must hurt you to see us cry again and again and yet sometimes I'm glad you're unhappy, just like we are. Although most times I want to hold you and tell you how much I love you, but of couse I can only dream of such a thing.
Tammy has began to smile again, I like to tell her that you are her guardian angel and she giggles. She plays with her friends at school and prays that one day you will come home. I almost cry everytime she sees a shooting star when she says ’Look mum, daddy is coming back down, let’s go look for him.’ I sigh and tell her that you are still up there watching over us, we just have to wait our turn for you to come back to us. Her face drops and her eyes shine with tears that trickle down her cheeks, and I am forced to wipe them away whilst stifling my own.
I hug your pillow at night inhaling your sweet scent of lemon and rose. It feels strange being in bed alone at night surrounded by the gloomy darkness. I wish you were here to make me feel secure like you always did. I miss the way you always wrapped your arms around me and whispered sweet nothings to me all the time smiling. I miss your smirk and your beautiful eyes that always bore a twinkle that Tammy used to favour.
I burst into tears when I look at her she looks just like you. Her smirk, her silky blonde hair and her pale skin... all yours. I fear I'll become depressed and she'll be put into care, but I won't allow that to happen because without her I have no life, no reason to live. She keeps me going; I have to live on for her and for you.
Tammy loves stories our time at Hogwarts. She looks at the pictures and says: ‘ Mummy, why does daddy keep looking at you like that?” I laugh and reply. “Daddy and I never used to be quite good friends but we loved each other very much. We just didn’t tell one another.”
She loves the pictures are of our wedding day and of Hogwarts. Do you remember the Hogwarts ones? You would smirk up at me crossed arms; those grey-blue eyes of yours would twinkle. We hated each other so much that I don't htink anyone would come between when we fought, not literally though.
I smile when I remember when you told me you loved me four years after we graduated from Hogwarts. I was heading for the robe shop as the ministry was having a ball...
*Flashback*
I didn’t know what was happening when someone from behind grabbed my wrist and dragged me into a deserted alley. I shivered as you shoved me into the icy wall behind us.
My insides churned as I gazed into your unusually warm eyes. I lost myself within them, the cool pools of grey, so rare… so… gorgeous. I had to admit they were the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen. Still, they didn’t change who you were. You were heartless and arrogant, regardless of of the fact that I loved you.
“Get off me, Malfoy!” I squealed, "I said let go!"
You withdrew from me and began to pace, glancing in my directione every so often. I watched rigidly, contemplating on why a rogue Death Eater, such as yourself was in Hogsmeade.
“Hermione, how have you been?” You asked, raking your hand through your hair repeatedly.
“Is that a trick question?” I asked, confused that my name slipped so casually off your tongue.
“No,” I heard the arrogance in your voice.
“Before you dragged me into this ally and squished me into the wall, I'm fine.” I muttered, "how have you been?" I smirked in spite of myself.
“Me? I‘m brilliant, couldn‘t be better. I‘ve been playing hide and bloody seek with the ministry all year.” You said sardonically.
“Glad to know that they are still… er… seeking you Draco.” I giggled.
“Yes it is, now listen, I didn’t come here to have a little chitchat." You stopped in your tracks, our eyes locked, "As a matter of fact it is an important affair.”
“Really? And what ‘important affair’ would you have with me?” I asked, brushing the non-existent dust off my black robe.
“It isn’t a game Hermione, what I am about to say is - is important. Something that a man should do only once in his life, and mean it!” Butterflies had a frenzy inside my stomach, I gulped. Surely it couldn’t be what I thought.
"Tell me then!” I urged.
"Ok… You're beautiful, smart, brave, you're perfect. A man could only dream in having someone such as yourself. I - I really like you."
"And..."
"I - love you.”
My heart was thumped madly against my chest. It felt as though it would rip out of my chest with excitement, however logic urged me to believe you were lying, and I did.
“Real funny Malfoy! Who’s paying you? Come on. Who the bloody hell set you up to… this!?" I raged, "All these weeks, all these months, all these years, I felt sorry for you! I felt bloody sorry for you! An - and now I see why they were looking for you. How could you really think I could believe you? I know were I stand to you, I'm a 'stupid jumped up mudblood' a-a-a worthless Gryffindor. I just can't believe you, you evil vile little ferret! How dare you mess with someone’s heart, w-with my heart!” I yelled, on the verge of tears.
“You - you really think that? You still wallow in the past? You think I came here - risked my life for a dare!? If you do then say goodbye Hermione. Say goodbye to the person who risked his life to come and tell you how he felt. Believe me when I say I wasn’t lying when I said those three words. Those three precious words to you. You are the first person I have ever loved… with all my heart. Trust me when I say this…I love you… I love you more than you will ever know.” I looked deeply into your eyes, they shone brightly with tears. You had just poured your heart out to me, something that you had never done.
I felt your sadness as I inhaled the cool morning air. Your spicy cologne reached my nostrils. It pained me to see someone I loved so sad, and knowing that I was the person to blame for it. Yet, I didn’t regret it. I had pained you like you did to me in Hogwarts. I wasn’t about to apologise, you deserved a taste of your own medicine.
“I'm supposed to beleve that ou risked your life to tell me that? You waited four long bloody years to tell me that!?"
“No… I have waited since our fourth year… I-"
“Fourth year?You bastard! You loved me, and yet you didn’t have the decency to tell me!” A silent tear rolled down your cheek. "How did you know that I didn’t feel the same way in Hogwarts...? How do you know I don't feel the same way now..? You really hurt me, y-you... st-stupid... f-f-ferret.” I wept falling to the snow covered floor beneath.
“I didn’t know! I’m sorry…” You ran over to me and held me in your arms. “I’m so sorry…”
*End Flashback*
From then on, I knew you had changed. I treasure that day forever, it was the happiest day of my life. Soon after you were cleared of all charges and became a free man. You were offered a ob as an auror in the misistry, which you gladly excepted. Your popularity was growing steadily as you befrieneded my friends.
You, Harry and Ron would go to the pub for a drink and me, Lavender and Ginny would go clubbing, mostly you all came with us.
I rememer when you would say to me ‘Love me today, as if this day were your last.’ I would laugh and reply.
‘Our love is the source of every spell I cast.’
It was our little saying, to some it was just another I love you. To us it was much more; to us it meant that our magic comes from our love. Every time we cast a spell we would think of each other, I still think of you now. How could I forget you? You are in my dreams, in my heart and in my mind. At night, I can still hear the sound of your heartbeat faintly beside me. Sometimes when I am depressed, I feel your strong arms wrap around me. I know you want me to be strong. I do try my best, but sometimes it is just to hard to handle. I have been in depression more than once, but you help me pull through. I swear that sometimes I can hear you, calling my name sweetly. I know you are here with me, and yet, I am all alone, all I have is Tammy.
On our wedding day, I meant it when I said I do, I still do now. Even now, I like to recall the events on that day…
*Flashback*
The wedding was at Hogwarts. White banners hung from the Great Hall walls, and rows of chairs sat spread along the stone floor. The enchanted ceiling bore a clear blue sky, with white fluffy clouds... it was breathtaking.
I wore a gorgeous, strapless white gown with a red shawl. My heart did a back flip when I saw you in that dark green robe and crisp white shirt. You looked so handsome.
Dumbledore raised a hand and the sound of laughter dissolved into silence. You took my hand and smiled, then the ceremony began.
"Do you Draco Malfoy take Hermione Granger as your lawfully wedded wife, to love, honour and cherish her 'till death do you part?" Dumbledore asked.
"No, not until death do us part, our love will go on forever like an ever burning candle. If I were to die.. Then my heart would still belong to her… no-one could take that away. This wedding is one of the most special in the wizarding community, it is a joining of two opposites. A pureblood and a muggleborn, each from the two houses that despise each other. After this day we hope that it will be the end to house rivalry… Especially Slytherin and Gryffindor."
*End Flashback*
We miss you loads and will never forget you. I'm widowed by you and always will. No one will ever replace you. In our hearts, you are still here lurking in the shadows, but in our minds reality knows you are gone.
Now I stand, holding our wedding picture in my hands sixty-nine years on. I have grown old and grey without you by my side. I have never met another man. No one is good enough to replace you.
I used to think that my wounds would heal, but they never have. When I was younger I said that I would forget that you had died and try to move on. Alas, that failed dramatically. I knew, in my mind and in my heart that I could never forget you my prince.
Yes, Tammy grew up into a beautiful woman as we had predicted. Though she is now aged now fifty-seven she is still equally beautiful. I am proud to say that she became a brave Gryffindor. She made me so happy, Draco, she lived and learned to cope with the loss of her daddy, though now she knows the truth her smile never falters when I speak your name. Sometimes I'd cry and she'd comfort me reminding me of what I used to tell her and we'd look at the pictures holding our memoirs and laugh.
I wish you were there at her wedding day as I was. As I'd hoped, she was marrying a Slytherin, Blaise's and Pansy's son, Tom Zabini. Harry, had proudly walked her down the aisle, as an uncle, though I wish you had. She looked so happy in her white gown and my red shawl. I cried when they said their vows and when she kissed him.
My grandchildren occasionally come to help me (Draco Malfoy, Hermione Wealsey, Parisa Potter and Tommy Malfoy) and their little ones like to come and visit me. I do love them all, but they remind me too much of you.
I am lonely and depressed. I barely see Tammy nowadays. She comes four or five times a month, though those visits lesson as the years go by. I need you here with me, I need you to talk to. I can't even visit anyone or move having nearly lost all my ability to walk.
My life has been painfully slow and yet too fast. I sit in my chair day-by-day, watching my life slowly fade before my tired eyes. I spend my time staring at our portrait above the fire, and looking through our album. Depression and old age is eating away at me, as I wait for you. The ever-blazing fire, reminds me of you, and of our love. Now all I do is wait to die, to be with you. I hope you are waiting for me; I will wait for you to come and get me when I pass away. My days are nearly over; my life is coming to an end. I still say to myself everyday, that I am the luckiest girl in the world. Do you want to know why? It’s because I had you… Draco Malfoy… for now and forever… beyond the day I die.
I close my eyes listening to you call my name softly, and your heartbeat getting louder. I feel your presence near me, as my breathing begins to lesson. I took a last glance at my wedding ring and smiled. I knew you were coming for me; your voice became clearer I could hear you whispering to me.
“It’s ok my love,” you whisper to me, “It's okay I'm here now, I’ve come to get you. Don’t be afraid to join me. I love you still. Come to me...”
I close my eyes not daring to look sice I know you will come to me, I know you are here in the room, watching me. I am afraid I will see you, I'm not ready to see you.
"Open your eyes, Hermione," you whisper in my ear, "please open your eyes,"
I open my eyes, feeling your cool breath on my neck. I feel the urge to shut them tight again, but I won't. I do want to see you Draco, but I can't see you. I sigh, gazing into the dancing fire flames, wishing my life away. The sound of your heartbeat, barely audible over the cackling of the fire. For a whole our I watched and listened feeling my heartbet slowly decreasing.
"I'm afraid," I admit timidly, "I'm scared to die."
"I'll be with you," you reassure me.
I smile and close my eye lids, dissolving into darkness. I feel your warm hand grab hold of mine. I shiver slightly with the unusual sensation. I hum our wedding song to myself knowing that any moment soon I will be by your side once again. Your grip tightened as I inhaled my last breath. I gripped your hand as you lifted me out of the dark. I found my self in the body of my twenty year old self once again. I watch a silent tear roll down my cheek of my limp body slumped in the chair. I smile knowing my life ceased to exist, but as we held eachother that our love still carries on...
Authors Note: How was it? Bad? Good? Average? Please reveiw and tell me what you thought, but don't be too harsh. This is my first fanfic lol. Just thought I'd tell you to look out for Darkness Beyond Reflection, it will be my next fanfic, and it will be much better.
THANKS FOR READING XOXOXOXOX