A New Definition of Family
Chapter 5: Explanations and Broomsticks
Disclaimer: Well, I still don’t own any of JK Rowling’s characters. Not for lack of desire, mind you. It’s just that she got to them first! Any characters, spells, broomsticks or places you see here that you don’t find in her books, well, they are products of my fertile imagination.
Rinna shifted her position uncomfortably. “No, there was no legal restriction preventing me from taking you. If anything was to happen to Sirius, I was next to be your legal guardian.” She saw Harry open his mouth in reply and interjected, “Harry, please listen to me. I need you to understand something.” That whatever-it-was in her voice that compelled him to listen to her was back. He nodded.
“You must believe me that if it had been in my power to do so, I would have found you and wrenched you away from the Dursleys, Dumbledore’s magic be damned,” she said with ferocity. “Unfortunately…” her eyes became unfocused as her words drifted to a stop.
She shook her head and started again, “You see, Harry…I was devastated that I hadn’t been able to stop what had happened to your parents, that I couldn’t warn them, or anything. If I had just made a different choice, if I had…” Her breath hitched. She filled her lungs, then blew the air out her mouth, and continued. “My mind and body were…uh…I was, I was just hanging by a thread to my sanity at that point, when they found me…” Merlin, this was arduous!
Difficult or no, there was no turning back now. “Then, when I learned about what happened with, with…with Sirius and Peter…when I was told that Sirius was a traitor and a murderer and was being sent to Azkaban…”
Again Harry opened his mouth, but she held up her hand to forestall him. “Well, I just…slipped over the edge of reason. I was taken to St. Mungo’s… that is, St. Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. Have you heard of it?” Harry nodded, appalled. “I was there almost three months.”
Memories, hazy and unfocused, encroached on her concentration. Remus…was he really there every day? His soothing voice reading…Molly with her new daughter and year-old son in a pram…how could she bear to bring them to such a place? Dumbledore’s voice, soft and compelling, entreating me to climb out from my dark well of despair…Remus holding my hand, telling me how much he needed his only remaining friend…
She exerted her will to regain her focus. “I recovered eventually, but there were questions as to my, uh, my competence to be your…to take you on…fears of my having a relapse, I suppose. Wouldn’t be good to place a tyke with his barmy godmother, would it?” she laughed mirthlessly. Harry just gaped at her.
“I knew that you were safe in Petunia’s house, knew the magic that was used to protect you. You would be out of harm’s way and far more secure there than with me at that point. I left England a few months after, assured in the knowledge that you were safe, but cognizant that I had utterly failed you.”
She leaned back against the tree trunk and closed her eyes, for the moment completely spent.
Harry was quiet for a long time; he felt a tightness in his throat that made speech impossible. If he had been asked to describe what he was feeling right now, he would have said it was like he had been so close to grasping the Snitch…almost had it in his hands…and at the last moment: nothing, nothing but air.
His face reflected anger and grief. Once again, he’d learned how close he had been to having a happy childhood, only to have it cruelly snatched away. He was angry with Rinna; angry with her for being weak, for succumbing to madness when she should have been taking care of him. And yet, another part of his mind realized that he was being unfair to her. She was tortured, you selfish prat, and she lost her best friend…and thought Sirius was a murderous betrayer…
His eyes moved down to the album on his lap. Of course! That’s why there are no pictures of Sirius…she thought he was a traitor and removed them. But she’s wrong; I need to tell her that Sirius was set up. Harry glanced at her, not sure if now was the time, but desperately wanting her to know that Sirius was innocent.
“Sirius Black did not betray my parents.”
She started and opened her eyes. This was not the response she had expected from him. “What?”
“I said Sirius Black did not betray my parents. And he didn’t murder all those people, or Peter Pettigrew. We found out the truth last month at Hogwart’s. Do you want me to tell you what happened?”
“Oh,” she whispered, “I already know that.”
Harry had not anticipated this. “You do? How could you?” he wondered.
“Remus Lupin told me.” She closed her eyes again. Seizing the opportunity to replace the memories that were currently performing an obscene dance in her head, she let her mind wander to that day last month when Remus had come to her house…
“Remus!” she was surprised to see him, and took in the damage to his face and disheveled appearance. “You look like shit. What the hell happened to you?”
“Hello, Remus, so nice to see you after almost six months. Do come in, won’t you, you devilishly handsome man,” he retorted, sarcastically.
Rinna had the grace to blush. “Sorry, but you woke me up. I’m feeling a bit waspish at the moment.” She grabbed his hand and pulled him inside. “Come in, come in. I’ll put the kettle on.”
“It’s after 10:30 in the morning! How is it possible that you are just waking up? Are you hung over?”
She made a face at him. “Why aren’t you at Hogwarts? Term’s not over yet.” She cast a suspicious glance at the wounds on his face.
He sat at her kitchen table and shrugged. “I quit.”
This took Rinna by surprise. “What?”
“The short version is: word got out that I am a werewolf. I resigned so that Dumbledore would not have to suffer the process of sacking me.”
Rinna did a quick calculation in her head: the full moon was just past. “Did you not have your potion?” she asked carefully.
“Unfortunately, no.”
“Was anyone hurt, besides you I mean?”
Remus thought of Sirius. “Yes.”
She looked up sharply, “Any students?”
“Thank God, no. But it was close.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Rinna watched as several emotions played across Remus’ face. There was more to the story, she could tell, but he was reluctant to open up yet. Time to graciously offer a way out of the conversation…She held up a bottle of fire whiskey. “Or should we just get drunk?”
He raised his eyebrows. “Is that such a good idea, what with you being hung over?”
Ouch! Changing the subject with a pointed personal remark. Nice one, Remus, she recognized the avoidance maneuver. She was, after all, a master of those herself. “What makes you think I am hung over?”
“Well, your incredibly witty and charming personality improves by leaps and bounds when you are. After your endearing greeting at your door, I just naturally assumed…”
“Bite me, Remy!”
He grinned and appreciated her use of her old childhood comeback when he would nag at her too much. He sealed the ritual with the expected witty retort: “Not the best thing to suggest to a werewolf, luv.”
He looked her up and down. “Besides, you’re still in the clothes you wore out last night, unless you are now wearing sequined halter tops and skin tight trousers to bed instead of these cute flannel boxer shorts and T-shirts you used to favor?” He smirked at her.
She looked down, “Damn! I meant to change into those. Must have slipped my mind.”
“I’m worried about you, Rinna.”
“Remus,” she said exasperatedly, “I’m fine. I am NOT hung over. I had to work late, double shift, you know.”
He looked at his friend somberly. She is absolutely brilliant at Potions, and she is wasting her talent mixing alcoholic concoctions as a bartender. He took in her face, with the dark circles under her eyes accentuated by smeared makeup and the same taut wariness she had worn since hearing about Sirius’ escape from Azkaban those many months before. “Well, you look terrible.”
Her eyes snapped in anger. “Hello, Rinna, so nice to see you after these past six months. I’ve popped in to insult you and accuse you of being a lush, you incredibly short-tempered shrew.”
Remus was taken aback. “I’m sorry, Rinna. It’s none of my business,” he said stiffly.
She felt the anger drain out of her. “No, I’m sorry. Of course it’s your business; you’re my oldest friend. I’m lucky to have someone who cares about me so much.” She put her hand on his arm. “Will you forgive me for being such a bitch?”
He took her hand and in a gallant gesture, he kissed it. “I wouldn’t have you any other way,” he said sincerely.
She pulled her hand away and slapped him lightly on his arm. “Insufferable git.” He grinned at her as she retrieved the tea kettle and poured him some tea.
She settled in her seat at the table and looked at him over the rim of the teacup. “The offer still stands, you know.”
“Talking about it? Or getting drunk with me?”
“Either one, or both.”
Remus sighed. “Actually, I do need to talk to you. You need to hear the details. And I need to talk to you…about Sirius.”
The teacup slid from her hand and sloshed hot tea everywhere. Her eyes were wide. “Oh no, Remus,” she whispered, “don’t tell me the Dementors caught him.”
Remus studied her for a moment. Looks like you care about what happens to him more than you like to let on, Rinna dear. He cleared his throat. “No, he’s still on the run. But new details about…about that night have been revealed. There are things you need to know.”
She closed her eyes. She did NOT want to talk about that night, nor Sirius Black.
She heard her refrigerator door open, and was startled to see Remus rummaging through it. He pulled out a few items and turned to her.
He knew she wore sexy outfits to work, she told him she got more tips that way, and damn, she sure did them justice. He needed to concentrate, needed no distractions when he told her his news, and he couldn’t just tell her she was distracting him with all that creamy white skin exposed and the pants hugging her every curve. He needed a diversion.
“Look, why don’t you go get cleaned up? I’ll cook us some breakfast,” he glanced at the clock, “er, brunch, and then we’ll talk.”
This is very bad, if Remus is stalling like this. Then she heard his stomach rumble. Or, he could just be starving…“Right, then. I’ll just go get cleaned up.”
Remus looked up as he heard her bare feet pad into the kitchen. She was fresh faced with her cropped hair slightly damp and dressed in jeans and a short sleeved blouse. Unfortunately, she did not look one bit less attractive, but at least her cleavage wasn’t so blatantly exposed. He shook his head at these thoughts and set a beautifully prepared omelet in front of her.
She took a bite and moaned appreciatively. “You know, Remy, that a man who cooks like you is every woman’s fantasy.”
“Is that so?” he snorted in amusement. “You’ll notice all the women lined up and beating at the door to get to me?”
“I know someone who is very interested in getting to you,” she grinned conspiratorially.
He looked at her sharply as his heart did a nervous flip-flop. “Who could you possibly know who would know me and…” He gulped. The only two women she could realistically be referring to were Rinna or…”You couldn’t even remotely be hinting that your former roommate…” His voice trailed off in disbelief.
She chuckled at his discomfiture. “Oh, but I most certainly am. She talks about you ad nauseum.” She smirked when she saw him wiggle uncomfortably in his chair. “And she already knows all about the werewolf thing. She seems to have no problem with that.” Rinna was thoroughly enjoying making Remus squirm. “She confessed to me she has had a crush on you since the tender age of four when Sirius brought you and James to his aunt’s for a visit…”
Her voice came to a halt, and she had a troubled look on her face. Mentioning Sirius’ name had broken the spell of the teasing camaraderie, and reminded them both of the reason for Remus’ visit.
Remus reached out and took her hand and the two friends moved to the couch. Remus proceeded to relate the entire story of what happened at Hogwarts a few nights before. He hoped that some of the details might bring Rinna some peace, but knowing her as he did, he suspected that they might just give her more things to feel guilty about instead.
When he was done, he was more than concerned about the ashen look on her face. She sat there, immobile, with her eyes closed and shoulders slumped. He wished that just once she would let him take her in his arms and she would cry, because all this keeping-everything-in that she did so effectively was slowly eroding her spirit. She was one of his old school friends, he loved her dearly, and, frustratingly, it seemed there was nothing he could do to help her.
Except this, he thought, as he got up and went to the kitchen. He came back with the bottle of fire whiskey and two glasses. She lifted her head when she heard the clink of the glasses on the coffee table. “Shall we get drunk now?” he suggested, as he poured.
“Well, if you already heard it from Professor Lupin, I guess I don’t need to…”
Rinna sprang back to the present. It occurred to her that if Harry was busy talking, he would be less likely to ask more questions of her. Surely information that she had already known for a month would not be that painful to hear… “Actually, I would like to hear it from your viewpoint, if you don’t mind.”
Harry was surprised. “Uh, okay.” He looked up to the house and saw that Hermione and Ron were still playing some kind of game on the porch. “Do you mind if Ron and Hermione come over? To help fill in the story.”
The situation had improved again: if Harry’s friends joined them, then chances were good Harry would not be asking anymore painfully probing questions of her this evening. Although Rinna had no doubt that Ron and Hermione would know every detail of her and Harry’s conversation under the tree by the end of the night. “All right, I don’t mind. But I think we need to make ourselves more comfortable. I don’t know about you, but my bum feels completely numb from sitting on the ground.”
Harry managed a half-hearted laugh, and then waved his two friends over. Meanwhile, Rinna pulled out her wand and conjured four comfortable lounge chairs, two more glasses of lemonade, and refilled hers and Harry’s.
Rinna actually found herself enjoying the retelling of the story, in a way. Watching the three kids interact, hearing the story interwoven as it jumped between narrations, learning minute details that Remus had not or could not provide was most interesting. It was obvious the friendship between the trio was tight; the three practically worked together like a collective consciousness at points. It made her miss Lily keenly.
“And then my leg broke in like fifteen places…” Ron was saying.
“Oh, please!” Hermione rolled her eyes. “Why is it that each time you tell this part, your fractures multiply exponentially?”
“I was hurt VERY badly,” Ron gritted through his teeth at her.
Harry interjected on Ron’s behalf, “Yeah, Mione, it took Madame Pomfrey several hours to sew Ron’s leg back on!”
“HEY!” Ron rounded on Harry. “Don’t you start on me, too!”
Rinna’s chuckle was interrupted by a “Whoof!” as Crookshanks chose that moment to jump on Ron’s stomach. “Gerroff!” he grumbled as he waved the cat off with his hands.
Crookshanks walked with great dignity to Rinna’s chaise and tromped partway up her legs. She extended her hand and he rubbed the side of his face against her fingers. She trailed her fingers down his back and he meowed at her pleasantly. “Hrrr-reow,” Rinna trilled back at him.
“Blimey!” cried Ron. “Don’t tell me you can talk to cats!”
“No, Ron. That was just the fine art of imitation.” Rinna grinned. “Ooooh, ouch!” she cried as Crookshanks began to knead his claws on her thigh, purring loudly.
Hermione apologized profusely, and tried to pull Crookshanks off Rinna’s leg, but he dug in, undeterred.
“It’s all right, Hermione,” Rinna reassured her as she waved her wand and a pillow appeared beneath Crookshanks' paws. He didn’t even notice the change. “There you go, handsome boy,” Rinna told him. He just continued purring as he looked up beatifically into her face.
After a quiet moment to regroup, the teens were off again on the narrative. Finally they came to the point where Harry said, “I should tell you about what Professor Trelawney said.”
Rinna asked, “Professor Trelawney? Who’s that?”
“Our Divination teacher. She’s an absolute crackpot!” Hermione explained.
“But this was different, Hermione,” Harry insisted. He proceeded to tell them about the incident in the tower classroom, and the prediction the professor had made.
Rinna was deep in thought. “How did that one part go? ‘The Dark Lord will rise again with his servant’s aid, greater and more terrible than he ever was.’” She mused.
“You can’t possibly believe that it was a legitimate prediction!” Hermione cried.
Rinna turned to her. “I don’t know Professor Trelawney. She is new to Hogwarts since I was there. But I will tell you this: true prophecies DO exist. Granted, they are subject to the vagaries of human whim and choices, which is why no prophecy is truly set in stone…but…” Rinna felt a prickle run up her spine. She would need to look into this.
“I wish I had just killed Pettigrew when I had a chance…” Harry muttered.
“Nonsense, Harry! You made the right choice.” Rinna said firmly. “You said you did not think Lily or James would’ve wanted Sirius or Remus to become killers. Well the same is true for you.” She looked thoughtful. “Besides, you have now spared his life. He is indebted to you.” She grinned maliciously. “The Dark Lord won’t like that one bit.”
“That’s what Professor Dumbledore told me.” Harry muttered. Then he added, “He’s the only one besides you that I’ve told about the prophecy.”
“Well then…” Rinna began, but she was interrupted by Molly calling the four of them for dinner.
After a huge dinner and dessert, everyone (but Percy, who again had work to do) went to the living room to sprawl on the rug or the furniture. Fred draped himself over the armrests of an easy chair and groaned, “I feel like a blood-swollen tick.”
“Oh, thanks for that lovely imagery!” snapped Ginny sarcastically. “Now I feel sick!”
“Just don’t hurl on me, little sis!” advised George.
After some more good natured banter, Bill suddenly sat up and snapped his fingers. “I almost forgot!” He turned to Rinna. “I found an old trunk up in the attic. I believe it belongs to you. I’ll just run up and get it.” He sprinted up the stairs as if he hadn’t just consumed seconds and thirds at dinner, eliciting a groan from many in the room.
Bill came down the stairs with a trunk levitated in front of him. Rinna’s bemused expression changed to one of slight shock. She had almost forgotten the trunk, and she certainly remembered why she had left it behind. She did not want to look through it, not with Harry nearby, ready to spring all kinds of questions on her. Except…there was one thing in there she knew he’d like to see, Charlie too.
Bill set it on the coffee table and looked at Rinna. “Your trunk, m’lady.”
“Oh, Bill, thanks for going to the trouble of bringing it down. There really isn’t anything of monumental importance in there: just a bunch of old school things. I’ll take it home and rummage through it at my leisure.”
Quite suddenly she was filled with a need to see it, the most precious thing in the chest. Without consideration she said, “Though there is something in here that I want to check on, to make sure it has weathered storage well.” Rinna tapped the lock of the trunk with her wand and murmured an incantation. The lock opened. She lifted the lid, and reached in. In her hand was a tiny broom.
She spoke the enlarging charm and suddenly was holding an old model broom that was in excellent condition. Charlie whistled appreciatively.
“Is that a Silver Dart? It’s gorgeous!” He reached for it, “May I?”
She handed it to him. “Right. It’s a Silver Dart 1001 LE.”
The others crowded around Charlie to marvel at the broom. The light wood had a finish that gave it a silvery sheen, and it was accented with emerald green. Harry frowned at the Slytherin-like color scheme, but had to admit admiringly that it complemented the broom well. Carved in the handle, also in green to match, was the name: Dunlevy. The broom did not look one bit worse for wear at having been stored for so long.
Rinna watched Charlie, Harry and the others admire the beautiful craftsmanship, and her heart dropped into her stomach. Idiot! What were you thinking, bringing that out? She obviously hadn’t been thinking…just caught up in the moment of seeing the beautiful broom again, without weighing the consequences, without thinking of the memories the broom would call up. The memories that now laid into her gut with stunning force.
Handsome face smiling, dark blue eyes lit up with mischief and delight, tantalizing lips saying, “Do you like it? It practically grabbed me by the neck and screamed ‘I was made for Rinna!’ and I knew I had to get it for you. Now kiss me and tell me you won’t forget me while you are at Hogwarts.” His lips warm against hers, her mouth moving against his as she whispered, “You dolt, I’m going to see you every Hogsmeade weekend. And I love it.”
“Rinna. RINNA!”
Startled, she looked up, disoriented and almost dizzy. “What?”
“I asked if you’d mind if I have a go on her?” Charlie looked at her eagerly.
Charlie looked so much like the eight-year-old boy she had last seen that she had to laugh. “All right, then, take ’er up!”
“Me, too?”
“Can I have a go after Charlie?”
“And me?”
Grateful for the distraction, she smiled. “It is fine with me. Molly? Arthur?”
Arthur smiled widely and said, “Everyone outside, then!” There was a mad scramble for the door, the silvery handle of the Silver Dart flashing in Charlie’s hands.
Molly and Arthur waited for the crush to die down. Rinna snapped the trunk closed and turned to them. “Thank you for keeping this for me,” she said quietly. Her eyes met Molly’s, who read the sadness there.
“We can continue to store it for you, dear, if you want,” Molly said to her. “It does not take up much space.”
“I wouldn’t want to impose on you anymore.”
“It is not an imposition, you know,” Arthur said pointedly. “We want you to always consider this your home, Rinna.”
Rinna was reminded, after her conversation with Harry earlier that afternoon, that the magic Albus Dumbledore had placed on Harry and the Dursley home was the same magic that had been used on her and the Weasleys years earlier. No wonder I feel so safe here, she realized.
Deeply touched, tears welled up in Rinna’s eyes. “Look, I know I was rough on you, especially at the end…”
“Nonsense!” snapped Arthur. “You are family; families endure the rough times. We will always be here for you.”
Nodding in agreement, Molly held out her arms to the younger woman, and Rinna readily stepped into her embrace. Arthur put his arms around the two of them.
They remained in this manner for several moments until a loud whoop from outdoors startled them. “We’d best get outside before your broom is smashed to smithereens!” Molly suggested with a twinkle in her eye.
Rinna was greeted by the sight of Charlie on the Dart barreling head-first toward the ground in a Wronski Feint-type maneuver. He leveled out at the last heart-stopping second with another loud whoop. The assembly clapped and cheered. He touched down with a flourish, dismounted the broom and walked toward Rinna, grinning broadly.
“Merlin’s broomstick, Rinna, she’s a beaut! None the worse for wear, either. You should take it up.” He handed the broom to her. “Sorry I didn’t let you have first go,” he said sheepishly.
“I planned it that way, Charlie, so you could check it for safety,” she teased him.
With the broom back in her hands, her stomach did a flip-flop. She fiercely squelched any more memories, threw her leg over the broom and rocketed straight up into the moonlit sky.
Up, up, up she went, higher and higher, feeling the wind rush against her skin, stripping away the memories, the pain, the weight of her problems until it felt like she was lighter than air. How could she have forgotten the exhilaration of flying? She paused at the apex of her trajectory, hanging in the starry sky, defying gravity for a long moment.
And then she plunged downward, spiraling and looping, the broom responding like a live thing to her every nuance, flashing like liquid silver in the moonlight. It was like a ballet, like a dance with a lover, inspiring, invigorating and heady. She did not want the moment to end. She closed her eyes and leveled out and allowed the summer night air to caress her face.
But like a Glamourie Spell, the illusion of weightlessness and freedom came to an end as she sped over the Burrow and saw her audience. She began a slow turn to take her back to the Weasleys’ yard, dipping and swerving and generally testing the capabilities of the Dart. Charlie was right; the old broom handled beautifully.
Harry watched Rinna fly, deep in thought. She certainly knew how to handle a broom. He wondered if she had played Quidditch at Hogwarts and grew momentarily irritated that he did not know more about his godmother. As he watched her circle to land, he was amazed at how happy the expression on her face was, and for a moment, how young she looked. He recognized the look on her face; it was a look he wore only when practicing or playing Quidditch. She loves to fly, just like me. He smiled and twitched with anticipation of getting his hands on that broom and flying in the moonlight.
Applause rang in the air as Rinna walked toward Harry, taking in the dreamy smile and twitchy expectation. Her eyes fastened onto his and for a jarring moment a connection was forged between them; a recognition of what was held in each other’s eyes and countenance. When it comes to flying, we are kindred spirits, you and I.
She wore her lovely genuine smile as she placed the broom in Harry’s hands. “Here, Harry. Why don’t you see what you make of her?”
As Rinna sat on the steps and watched every move Harry made, she felt a pang in her heart. He should have been with me. The sense of loss was as keen as the sharp blade of a dagger. She felt as if her heart was off beat, and it hurt.
After the last person had had a chance on the broom, everyone found a place to sit as excited jabber filled the air. Fred and George hit upon the idea of having a backyard Quidditch match prior to Harry’s birthday party the following week. This was met with great enthusiasm and received instant approval by the party planner herself, Molly Weasley.
Fred turned to Rinna and said, “You will come, won’t you?”
Rinna looked at Harry, not sure how he felt about her coming. That connective moment during the flying notwithstanding, she understood as a matter of course that he may not want her in his life after everything he had found out that afternoon.
“I think I will leave it up to Harry who will be on his guest list for his birthday party and pre-party Quidditch match,” she said lightly. She met Harry’s eyes. “If you need to fill a position on a team next week you can owl me.”
Harry blinked and realized she was leaving the quaffle on his side of the pitch. He felt irritated again. He wished she would just tell him what she wanted: did she want to be back in his life, or not? He followed her as she slipped into the house.
Rinna was just putting the shrinking charm on the Silver Dart and placing it back in the trunk when she felt Harry’s presence. They were alone together for the first time since the confession under the big tree. She turned to face him. It went against her nature to let other people make decisions for her, and though she knew she shouldn’t get the last word in, she couldn’t stop herself.
“Look, Harry, I’d like to come to your party next week if you’d have me. I really don’t want to miss any more of your birthdays. But I’d understand if you don’t want me…”
“I want you to come,” Harry interrupted. “You’re my godmother. Of course I want you here.”
She released a breath that she didn’t realize she had been holding. “All right, then. I’ll be here.”
“And the pre-party Quidditch game?” he raised his eyebrow in a challenging manner.
She grinned. “I wouldn’t miss it for anything!”
Author Note: This is the portion of our show where I request that you scroll down to that little “review” button and leave me a review. It doesn’t have to be a long review. Even a few words will satisfy me. Heck, I’ll be happy if all you leave are a few guttural sounds. The point of this little ramble being…I’d like to hear from you. Thanks!