I really hope that this chapter has been worth the wait! I know it's taken a long time to get up, but I hope that you are entirely not disappointed and really enjoy it! Please, please review, let me know what you think! It's what makes me thrive to write more!
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The hours crept on in frustrated and anxious murmur as Harry and Remus tried to sort out the exact plan to go about correcting this chaos.
“He has wounds, Harry, deep, terrible wounds. Wounds that will leave ugly scars, I’m afraid,” Remus argued as Harry suggested a rather improbable solution.
“You’re right, I suppose,” he mumbled, rubbing his jaw in thought.
Harry paced the corner of a dim bedroom in the abandoned mansion they had apparated to. It was one of the many places Lupin had secretly set to hide in while they were away on mission, and although they had only used this mansion once before, years earlier, it served a wonderful purpose now.
“And we most certainly can’t keep this from Ginny, you know,” Remus continued, “or really anyone for that matter. These are magical cuts they will all notice, especially when he pulls off his shirt to go swimming in the summers, or to take a shower or bathe. Harry, somehow, they are all going to have to know how James received these scars!"
Harry paced a bit more and felt his hand run through his mop of black hair, thick with dirt and sweat. He felt so angry at himself for letting James get struck with that curse! How could he have been so careless? He looked over at James who was wrapped in old, pale yellow sheets in a large bed in the center of the room.
“Remus, I can’t believe I’m even thinking about this right now. If my son’s going to be attacked and nearly killed why in Merlin’s beard did I ever employ such a wretched plan to protect him? It obviously didn’t work!"
Remus looked at Harry empathetically.
“We thought they were protected, Harry. We did everything we could! We, especially me, really believed that this was the right thing to do.” Remus scrunched his face in frustration. “Phish!” he said forcefully. “We didn’t suspect him soon enough and he got there before us…How did I ever trust him? I don’t understand how I ever thought he could be honest or sincere! Why did I go along with such a terrible, heartbreaking plan?”
Harry looked at Remus and wondered the same thing. However, Harry himself had eventually decided that it was the right direction to go and he admittedly believed just as much as anyone that if he was away in hiding, doing all of this fighting in secret, then Ginny and James would be safer. He couldn’t blame Remus even though his thoughts often betrayed him.
“At least James is alive,” Remus started again, “and he will heal. We will make sure this never happens again.”
“And what about Ginny?” Harry asked quickly.
“I’ve already asked Dora to watch her, promising I would explain more later. We’ll have to keep that in mind as we plot, Harry. That makes yet another person that is going to know what has really happened.”
Suddenly Harry stopped in thought at the mention of Tonks, Remus’ wife. They had been separated for much of the time the duo had been running about trying to catch the remaining Death Eaters and Remus rarely mentioned it in complaint. He and Dora, as Remus called her, were an endearing couple that never really displayed their affections in public, but the gleam in both of their eyes succeeded to any mention that they were most certainly entirely in love.
Tonks knew about Harry, it was impossible to keep it secret from her with Remus needing to disappear so often and for such lengths, but she had been solid to her word and kept it completely secret from anyone else, although she had a rather stern conversation with Remus about the devastation this plan would cause in Ginny and James’ lives. She disapproved, but understood all the same. It was a mixture of respect and disagreeable behavior, but it worked for the purpose.
“You and your wife have been so good to me, Remus, I don’t think I’ve ever told you that,” Harry added in simple sidenote. He never gave his friend the credit and gratitude he deserved and however inadequate or late it may be, he wanted to do so now. “I know it’s hard, but you’ve never thought twice about it. You run around the planet with me as if you were completely unattached-"
“Harry,” Remus shushed, “we both know I’m far from unattached, and I don’t pretend to be.”
“That’s not what I-“
“I know, and I appreciate your thanks, but I simply recognize this is where I’m needed right now, and luckily I have a beautiful wife that understands that. Besides we won’t have a future if this…this…nuisance, doesn’t get taken care of immediately and so in many ways I’m not just here to protect you.”
Remus grinned slightly at the last word, glancing at Harry quickly.
“For the world, Remus,” Harry added, raising his eyebrow smilingly.
Remus and Harry exchanged solid glances. Sometimes Remus surprised him, other times he said things that were completely known but otherwise unspoken and the fact of the matter was that Harry had known for a long time Remus was not along to chaperone, but as a fellow fighter, a fellow soldier in this battle against darkness for his own cause and not necessarily this messy-hair man. That, in so many ways, was the greatest comfort to Harry. When push came to shove he knew he could always rely on his friend to be just as fierce as he would be himself.
Remus smiled briefly and let a narrow glance to James go unnoticed. The two men were still reeling from the fact that James had made it to their hut and were both pacing in thought that neither wanted to admit “ they didn’t understand the dreams, how James had them or how he was able to follow them to his father. The Death Eater attack was hardly the weight on their minds, though James’ recovery and restoration without spoiling the entire plan was heavily shadowed by it.
Harry sat down at the edge of the bed and gave his son a thorough stare. His heart filled with an exploding sensation as if it had been topped with gunpowder and he reached out for James’ small hand.
“Remus, I don’t think I can live like this much longer,” he said hoarsely.
Remus walked towards Harry’s weary frame and laid a rough hand against his shoulder.
“I’ve lost him once, and he’s had to lose me…why do we have to go through this again? My body can’t take it; my heart can’t bear the weight.”
Remus squeezed the warm thread of Harry’s jumper and spoke softly into the air behind his head.
“A very wise man once said that the time would soon come when we would have to choose between was is right and what is easy. I suppose there are a lot of questions we could ask, and even more directions we could take for our lives, but ultimately it is what is best, which is not always what we want, that should be followed.”
As Harry listened the bellow of the author flooded his mind. Dumbledore had said those things, Dumbledore had given Lupin those wise words and they gave Harry a sort of security in his actions. He tucked his chin into the neck of his clothing and inhaled the wool. It was a scent that had come to remind him of Ginny for all the scarves and sorts she had knitted him with it.
“I suppose I just don’t understand this life I’ve been given,” Harry said quietly. “I just want to close my eyes and wake up with Ginny warm in my arms and James safely asleep in his bed. Why does my life have to be like this? Why can’t my life ever be easy? Why can’t it ever be good?”
Remus sighed deeply.
“You do have something good, Harry. You have a wife and a son, even though it seems like everything has become a wreck now. You have people who desperately love you and would give anything to bring you back to their lives if only they thought they could. And, above everything else, you have been given the honor of saving the entire world.”
Saving the entire world, Harry thought. As if I ever wanted that...
He did have to admit, however, that the things Remus said were true. He did have incredible friends and family, none of whom deserved to be treated so dreadfully.
There was a sudden mumble from the bed and Harry darted his eyes towards James’ face. His son’s eyes were barely opened and his lips looked dry and pale. He was so tiny under the giant sheets and Harry squeezed his hand into his palm.
“James?” He asked.
“Dad?” James whispered in a barely audible sound.
Harry let out a sigh of relief and desperation. As elated as he was to hear the sound of his son’s voice, he couldn’t evaluate how horrible it was to see him like this.
“It hurts,” James spoke into the stale air.
Harry’s heart pounded with anger and helplessness.
“I’m so sorry, James…I’m so, so sorry…"
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Ginny’s eyes were wide. Her heart was racing and her hands were becoming clammy and slippery as she clenched them together.
“What are you saying?” She asked incredulously.
“Ginny, James never fell out of that tree.” Harry said. “We modified your memory to remember that happening instead of what really did.”
Harry was tired of dancing around the issue, tired of waiting for the right time. It was now, the time to tell her everything…this was the very moment he’d been hoping for all those years tucked away in the dark and shadows, and he was not going to hold back.
“Those scars…they’re…I mean…but how long did he stay with you? I mean, how long until I found him again, or…”
Ginny fumbled through her thoughts for a tangible question, but nothing seemed to come out right. Harry, however, followed her lead and responded right away.
“James stayed with me for quite some time, there’s a lot missing that you won’t recall.”
“What?” Ginny said with a raised voice. “What won’t I recall? Merlin, Harry, this just keeps getting worse, doesn’t it?”
“Well, George told you that James was staying the weekend with him, it was the weekend of some special joke convention or other. He preformed a rather simple forgetfulness charm on you that you believed you’d just let it slip your mind, which gave us a few days to work out the exact plan.”
There was a gasping sound and Ginny’s jaw dropped, her eyes becoming red as they fought the tears inside. She was almost still save for the heave in every minute or so.
“George?” She managed.
“Yeah, George,” He replied, inching forward towards her weakened frame.
“George knew about you?”
“Well…yeah, he did.”
“For how long?!”
Harry paused and then answered, “The entire time. We couldn’t hide it from him; he gave us a place to hide when I was first rescued. He promised to watch out for you and James until everything got sorted out…which…never really did, I suppose. He didn’t like the plan, either, almost refused to go along with it, but in the end I was able to convince him. I nearly had to perform a memory charm on him as well!”
For whatever reason Harry found this last bit amusing, Ginny did not. She felt like her body was being emptied of life and it was everything for her to remain composed in any form.
“Then both George and Remus knew about you? Did George ever…go out and fight with you?”
“No, no, he was sort of the guard at home. In fact, we almost never spoke with him, I believe it was really only once a year or so, and always incredibly brief. We did call on him for a few supplies, however. What might be harmless prank bits are actually quite efficient fighting tools.”
Again he chuckled quickly and Ginny gaped.
“Well they still know, I presume?”
Harry cleared his throat.
“Uh, well…yeah.”
His eyes darted down and Ginny could tell he was lying to her about something.
“Harry, can you please explain to me what I seem to be missing? Remus and George do or do not know about you?”
“No, no, they know. Bloody hell, Remus knows. It’s just that…well…there’s sort of a secret that I’ve hidden from him.”
Ginny surveyed him carefully.
“How could you hide a secret from Remus when he was the only one who even knew you were still alive?” Ginny asked confused. Surely Harry wouldn’t have isolated himself so securely.
Harry choked a bit and looked back at his wife. Everything needed to come out of the dark…there would be no more secrets, finally.
“Well…it’s complicated. And, Remus wasn’t the only one, of course. I mean, George knew. And…well…I’ve said there were others…”
Ginny’s cheeks were becoming hot.
“What? There were…” her jaw became stiff and she glared. “How many others, Harry?”
Harry didn’t even breathe, he just replied.
“Tonks, McGonagall…”
“Bloody hell, Harry!” She responded.
Harry could see her chest caving in, but he waited patiently as her breathing became heavier. She moved her neck forward, her head bobbing off the end of it with each pressured swallow of air. Harry’s heart was aching within his chest…it was all going to explode; he could feel it swirling around his body in the thick, Burrow air. He could tell that Ginny was trying not to cry, but she had never been able to keep her truest emotions hidden from him. He felt like the most awful man in the world.
“Oh, Ginny…I’m so sorry…I just…I want to tell you everything. I’m tired of keeping secrets from you. Hell, I’m tired of keeping secrets from anyone.”
The air continued to force itself down, heavy upon Harry’s arms and chest. He watched Ginny attempting to control her body and sat still as she slowly regained her composure.
“Anyone else, then? Are there any more secret conspirators? No more secrets, Harry. You’re getting it all out now so get on and get it out!”
Harry could hardly muster the courage to utter his next words, but he knew she was right. All or nothing, and it looked like today was all.
“Right…uh, there was one more…” He watched Ginny intently and begged that she could manage it. “Ron knew…”
Harry added the last name through a cough, knowing it would cause a greater stir. Ginny and Ron had always been incredibly close and the fact that this brother had lied to her as well would not sit well on her heart.
“Ronald?!” She exclaimed. “Ron knew?!”
She gritted her teeth, uncertain of where to look, what to do with her hands, even how to breathe. Everything was so confusing, pounding into her like racing nails against a fragile plank. She could feel fire swelling in her veins, cursing and pulsing like a strobe. Her vision was blurring, her hands were slipping, her heart was leaping from her chest.
“I don’t understand. I mean, you keep telling me that the less people that knew the better. How then, is it possible that so many were aware of such a serious secret, but yet I was kept out of it all? I am the one person, Harry, the one person that you would think should know! Was I the only one that didn’t?”
“Ginny, there are very good reasons that each person was made aware of my life, and you are actually the last person that could know, not the first. I’ve been trying to explain this to you the entire time, it’s just, it’s so complicated, so intricate.”
“Well then tell me, damn it! Why are you still bladdering on?”
“It’s not so easy as a bedtime story, Gin,” Harry replied in the softest voice he could muster through his mounting frustration. “I’ve been trying to tell you this entire time, but you don’t seem to want to listen well enough. Haven’t you thought that this could be difficult for me just as much as it would be for you?”
Ginny’s eyes widened and her face flushed deep to match her hair.
“Oh, no, I’m so sorry! I’d forgotten to pity you in all of this, what with my husband coming back from the dead, my son nearly being murdered, my memory modified to not recall and my only remaining brothers aware of it all along…well, I’ve just been too preoccupied to notice your poor heart.
“That’s not what I meant, Gin,” He tried.
“Right, well, then, Harry Potter, tell me what you meant. Tell me something! I’m tired of this! I want answers! What the hell happened to my son?! I distinctly remember him falling from a tree and cutting his chest which are now the scars that cover him, however you’re sitting here claiming that those scars are actually the result of a death eater attack set on by Minister Phish which James received after apparating, at six years old mind you, to your hidden cottage in the middle of the woods…sounds all a bit like nonsense…but I believe every word you say because, well, you’re saying them! You aren’t even supposed to be alive and yet somehow you are so it just seems logical that all of these crazy stories you’re telling me would actually be true!”
Ginny let out an exasperated grunt and pulled at her hair.
“I just want to understand and right now I don’t understand a lick! Not a damn lick, Harry!”
It felt like they were going back and forth this way the entire time, Harry thought to himself. He didn’t know how long it would be until he could get his entire story out, nor how long it would be until Ginny could understand just the reason he had to keep it secret from her. Maybe she never would…he didn’t want to think about that possibility. It was too late for her to pretend that none of this existed, that none of this had happened. James had too much wrapped up in it, and so did Hogwarts.
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“Do you understand why I had to do this, James?” Harry asked, trying to be stern, but failing miserably.
James was crying foolishly as he nodded his head. It was a forced motion and desperate sadness pulled through his small arms and fists.
“James, I don’t want to do this, I never wanted this, please know that.” Harry leaned in closely and took James into his arms. Their bodies melted together in a painful bind. “I love you so much.”
James continued sobbing into Harry’s shoulder and whispered back, “I love you, too, daddy.”
Harry heard a creak outside the room and he was reminded that Remus was still close by, waiting to take James back. It had been nearly six weeks since the fight and Harry had gotten used to having his son around.
James had spent the better part of the first week in bed, his cuts healing nicely, however, just as the two men has imagined, they were leaving large scars in their wake. There was no way they could be concealed, and magical cuts such as these can not be vanished like normal bruises and scrapes…sort of like the scar Harry bore on his forehead.
As soon as James was well enough to walk around and get about himself, Harry and Remus let him because they knew the best cure for any illness was action. Calm action, of course, but giving your body life all the same. James was able to sit up at the table and eat dinner with the two men, and he and Harry would spent countless hours playing wizard’s chest, which Harry regretted he was much worse at.
Their favorite activity, however, was simply talking. Harry learned all about James’ primary school, the house he and Ginny shared, Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione and their kids, William, Emma, and Molly and how Ginny told him he wasn’t allowed to ride a broom until he was at least nine, but Ron let him all the time. Harry laughed at this fact and thought if he had the opportunity, he would be doing the same thing.
Harry also shared all his stories with James about the fighting and the battles and the reasons he had to be away. James was only six years old, but he had a mind twice his age and he and Harry held intelligent conversations, letting nothing go milk-coated or soft. James understood everything in a surprising adult manner that left Harry both proud and relieved.
Now, however, it was time to say good-bye to all of that and send James back to his mum. As Harry held close to James he felt courage well up within him and he knew everything would be all right. Some things are unexplainable, some emotions too powerful to tame…this was one of those times. More than the confusion that ensued when Harry had to fake his death to the world, was the peace that this was actually the right decision to make. Why, Harry never did quite know, but all the same, his gut pulled and he rested in the final word.
“Dad, I don’t want to forget,” James said softly as Harry tucked his messy hair behind his ear. Harry couldn’t reply and simply gave him a forced smile. “I want to see you again; I don’t want you to disappear.”
“I know, James, but we have to remember that this is very dangerous - very, very dangerous.”
Harry stared at James right in the face and lowered down to whisper.
“We’ve talked about this and you know every detail, but we still have to be so careful, James. You never know who is looking into your mind. I trust you and I can see just how talented you are, don’t ever doubt that, it’s just…I know what the world is capable of. Especially Phish, most certainly him. You know what the Death Eaters can do, please don’t ever forsake just how powerful they actually are.”
“Dad, you’ve told me everything you could. And Uncle Ron has talked to me, too. In fact, everyone has talked to me. I know, Dad, I know what to watch out for.”
“James, as much as I think that’s true, we do have to remember that you are only six years old, no matter how wise you are.”
Harry leaned in and pinched his cheek with a shy grin across his lips.
“I can do this, dad, I promise I can.”
Harry opened his mouth to speak, but felt compelled to contain his words. He continued watching James whose eyes were strong and thick as they looked back. They had Ginny’s fire in them and there was something familiar about the stubborn adamant they possessed. Harry sighed slightly as he conceded to the battle in his mind. James could do this, for some reason he just knew that.
“I don’t understand my own heart sometimes, James,” Harry said quietly.
“But you know I can do this, right? I can help you, we can be a team!” James exclaimed.
“I do believe you are able to do this, no matter how nervous it makes me. I’ve always been able to use my instincts before, they’ve not failed me yet, and for some reason they’re telling me this is all right.”
“Well then why don’t you understand your heart, dad?” James asked with obvious remark that he didn’t understand what that meant.
“My heart tells me to something that my brain doesn’t think I should, but I think I should go with my heart on this one.” James nodded innocently. “I say I don’t understand my own heart because I think I’m just tired. I’m really tired of lying to everyone and I just want to have a normal life. I guess this is a start in, well, some sort of tiny way.”
James reached over and gave his father a giant hug, squeezing tightly like he never wanted to let go.
“Harry?” Remus said from outside with a gentle knock. “It’s time to go.”
“Right, yeah, I’ll be right out,” Harry replied smoothly. He turned to James and looked at him one last time straight in the eyes. “If anything goes wrong, anything at all, this is over, James, you understand that?”
James nodded silently.
“Uncle Ron knows what to do and remember that this is not something to talk about regularly, only on really special occasions. Don’t trust anyone else unless we’ve talked about it, all right?”
James nodded again and then whispered to Harry, “I’ll be a man soon enough, dad, and I’ll be just like you, brave and strong. This is good practice.”
Another knock on the door ushered Harry and James out of the room with a tiny chuckle and Harry took his son’s hand for the last time.
“I love you, son, don’t ever forget that.”
Remus swallowed quietly behind the pair as they exchanged a tender hug and James kissed Harry on the cheek.
“I won’t, and neither will mummy.”
Remus took hold of James’ shoulder and pulled him back, leaving a rocking Harry in his wake. Remus looked down at Harry, who pierced him with tear-filled eyes, straining to stay strong.
“It’s been done, Remus, now go before he figures out anything else.”
With a loud crack Remus and James were gone to send what Remus thought was an unremembering boy to his home with unremembering family.
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Ginny bent down even lower.
“Please don’t tell me what I think you are, please, no, Harry, please!"
Harry would have stabbed out his own heart if he had any strength left at all.
“Yes, Ginny. James knew. I never modified his memory…he’s known since that day."
Ginny snapped and let out a shattering sob.
“No! Please, why everyone but me, Harry? Why James?”
Ginny dropped to the floor, her knees hitting the wooden planks with a resounding smash. Harry dropped down next to her and frantically tried to speak.
“I couldn’t do it, Gin, I couldn’t do it to him again. Besides, there was something inside of me that just knew he needed to remember all of it. My gut told me that he needed to be on my side and not in the dark.”
Ginny threw her fists at his chest.
“I spent years with you, Harry! I spent years in hiding with you, years eating broth and living in shacks with no clean water. Harry! I gave you my life, trusted you with everything I had, my entire soul, and you still did this to me?! I would have died for you to know that you would be safe and that James would have a father! Why couldn’t you trust me? Why couldn’t you give me that much?!"
Harry took hold of her fists and tried to force her eyes to meet his own.
“He was in your mind, Gin! He knew your every thought!”
“What are you talking about?” She screamed, still sobbing and furious.
“Phish, he was in your mind all those years! There was no way I could have come to you, no way!”
“What the hell are you talking about? Damn it!”
Ginny tears subsided slightly and Harry again scrambled to get everything out quick enough before she had time to abandon.
“You were the only one who had never been trained in occulamency, Ginny, and Phish had been trying the entire time to find out where I was. The others were able to keep him out of their minds because they were skilled enough and aware of his attempts. You, however, were not and were entirely vulnerable to his attacks.”
Ginny’s sobbing receded and Harry could tell she was thinking softly, contemplating this, trying to find how Harry had still lied and betrayed her.
“Why didn’t you just teach me then?”
“It was too late!” Harry released his grip on her hands and placed a finger under her chin moving it up so that her eyes watching his own. “From the first moment of hiding Remus and I knew one of the most fragile devices used against us would be the minds of our friends and so we knew that no one could help us that weren't able to protect themselves against it. George already knew of course, but luckily he was trained during the battle with Voldemort and was able to set his mind up against anyone entering it. The same happened for the others that came to find out. When I talked about you and we discussed the possibility of you simply being taught such a skill so that you could also be part of this, we realized the length of time required to master such abilities and that it might take years before you, or anyone else, would be ready. Besides, I was certain the death eaters had their eyes on you and James and we couldn’t run the risk of them finding out just what you were doing. In the end it came down to the fact that you would just have to stay in the dark, no matter how desperately horrible or hard it was.”
Ginny’s breathing was relaxing slightly as did Harry’s. His heart was racing, the adrenaline pumping through his body. Why had that been so hard to explain before? It was really quite simple once he spit it out.
Phish had been desperately seeking Harry and was trying everything to find him out. Eventually he discovered a way although it was terribly lucky that he hadn’t discovered more. Ginny, unfortunately, had never learned occulamency and would have given away all of his information immediately, unintentionally of course, but given away all the same. It was a matter of life and death, hard enough running in silence, let alone with your every plan mustered out through your wife’s gentle brain. As hard at it would be, he couldn’t let her know anything. If Ginny really thought he was dead, all the better.
“What about James?” Ginny asked, still searching for holes.
“James’ memory of me and the events of the time we spent together were hidden using a very ancient memory charm, impenetrable by anyone other than the keeper of the memory. It’s almost like keeping your thoughts in a pensieve, only, there’s no risk of someone stumbling upon them and falling deep into your most secret pasts. He is an absolutely brilliant boy, mind-boggling in his magical gifting, you know. I’m sure he could have preformed the charm when he was two! Well, not really, but the point stands that he is incredible and capable as a six-year old of what many full-grown wizards never dreamed of.”
“You’re telling me that my little child could keep out wizards and I was still left alone?”
“Gin, you must understand what I’m telling you. The fact that I was still alive meant nothing to James unless he chose to search for it. If Phish ever got into his mind, which he most certainly did after James returned from the time with me, it would appear that James’ memory had been erased and he too believed I was dead, like nothing had ever happened. This meant that James wouldn’t always remember me, but when he thought hard enough and dreamed about it, he would know. You had nothing, no way of protecting yourself.”
“Couldn’t you do the same to me that you did to James?” She asked, still adamant.
“Again, Gin, they were watching you all the time. If I showed up anywhere it would have been the end of me. I was always hiding, always running. Remus had to run all of the errands, and he would apparate to several fake locations before ever actually returning to me, you never knew who was looking where. It was too complicated and too dangerous. James came to me, but I could never come to you.”
“Then why didn’t Remus bring me to you?”
“Again, they were watching. We had to keep it quiet. Gin, please, if you think about I know you’ll understand. I know you, I know your heart and I know your wisdom. I know you’ll sort it out if you just give it a moment to sink in without shooting it down.”
Harry looked at her pleadingly. He was relying on the strength he knew she had to get them through this together now. He could feel her pulling away on the outside, but he could see her fighting to stay on the inside. He knew that Ginny loved him, no matter how buried it might be at the moment. How could it surface if he never told her the truth, though? How could they ever rebuild if there were any lies?
It felt good to finally release this pressure after so many years. He was finally safe to be with his family once again and finally ready to start his life. Now it was just the last bit of information and the waiting for Ginny to decide what was in her heart anymore.
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“Potter,” a shrill and commanding voice said through the corridor.
James whipped around to see Headmistress McGonagall coming up behind him, her lips pursed sharply through a dim smile.
“Hello Headmistress,” he said softly, nervous that she was approaching him.
“Are you all right?” She asked smoothly.
“Oh, well, yes I am,” James replied confused. “Should I not be?”
“No, no, of course not. It’s just that, well, I know that it’s going be a very hard time to adjust to this new…situation and I wanted to make certain you are all right and ready, really prepared for it.”
James looked at her carefully. He felt suddenly small and insecure and paused for the excited and frightened emotion to resurface through his little, racing heart.
“James?” The headmistress whispered.
“Yes, I’m ready,” he said, his 11-year old voice losing strength. “I’ve been waiting for this and I’m ready.”
McGonagall looked at him softly, but fiercely. A wild excitement lit up in her eyes like James had never seen before.
“It’s all very exciting isn’t it, James? You’ve been a brave soul these past few years, just like your father. You’ve made him proud, I’m sure of it.”
James felt his heart ripen slightly and the headmistress smiled at him. He had made his father proud? Not that he didn’t necessarily know that, but it was something he loved to hear nonetheless.
“Thank you Headmistress,” he replied.
“We’re all expecting great things from you this year, Potter, just as we did from him.”
She grinned cheekily and turned back down the corridor, her robe bustling behind her and her heels clicking against the stone. James watched as she walked away, grinning even wider now. They expected great things from him, too? He straightened his robes and adjusted his hat, his messy hair sticking out from beneath the black material. With a mighty intake of confident air he continued his journey to the Gryffindor tower, the place that would become his new home, the same place that had been home to one of the greatest wizards to ever live…his father.
The time was near and he was definitely ready.
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Harry fell back against the front of the couch, his back resting on the dusty cushions.
“Ginny, there’s just one last bit that I need to tell you. It’s the biggest reason that I’ve come to you now rather than any other time.”
“Is it worse than everything else?” She asked wearily, wiping the wetness from under her eyes.
“No, not at all. I would even venture to say that it’s not terrible in the slightest,” he said, hoping he could cheer her up with something good.
“Wait, “Ginny interrupted, “before you say anything else, I need to say something.”
“Yes, anything, Gin,” Harry urged. He was certainly not going to stop her.
“Well, I-“ Ginny paused to think about her words, took a strong look at Harry and then continued, “I’m just thinking as you’re talking to me that I’m angry and I’m scared; how I’m confused, hurt…”
Harry’s hopes dashed and his brow furrowed.
“I keep thinking about all of the terrible things I should say or feel and I keep watching the door wondering how I could storm out of here well enough that the point would be made you can never speak to myself or James again..."
Harry’s heart fell to his feet.
“…And then those same feelings flood in me that made me come back here the first time. Harry, you’ve always been here in my heart. You’ve always been there for James and you’ve always been there for you friends.”
Harry’s heart gave a little rise.
“And you’ve always been there for me.”
His heart gave a leap back into his chest and his hands began to pump blood again.
“You see,” Ginny continued, “I just, I want to tell you again that I am angry. I am upset. I am so, so confused…"
Every ounce of being within Harry stood on end as he watched Ginny’s mouth form the next few words, letting a scream out inside his body that compared to nothing less than a fireworks display during the new year.
“…but I love you no matter what and I am more content to give you this time and get to know you once more than I am willing to run away again. I came back because I realized what a fool I was to leave…I won’t make the same mistake twice. Forever, Harry James Potter, means forever.”
Harry threw his face into his hands this time and laughed as he cried. Had she really just come out and said it? Just like that, so simple? Had Ginny really just told him what he’d been desperately waiting to hear? Had she really just said that she would be with him forever?
He threw his head back and let out a cry of joy, tears pouring down his cheeks. He looked at Ginny who was also crying again, although her smile was a bit different, more coy and sweet. He took note of her deep brown eyes and the way her perfect red hair glistened against her pale skin.
Merlin, you are the most beautiful woman to ever grace this earth, he thought passionately.
Every tension within his body exploded in a giant collapse of emotion and Harry leaned in towards his wife. Without thinking, without a single question, he reached his hands to hold her face, her skin soft and warm against his rough hands, and brought his lips down to her own in a gentle, longing, passionate kiss. It were those very lips that had captured his heart so many years ago in a kiss as incredibly explosive as this one now, and the very same lips that would capture his heart for the rest of his life.
They took their time inhaling the pleasure before they let go and set back.
“I’m sorry, I couldn’t-“ Harry started, but Ginny quickly placed a finger over his lips and shook her head.
“It will be a new start, it will be different…but it will be us, Harry, and for that you have nothing to apologize for.”
She leaned in again and took in another, deeper kiss, butterflies dancing in her stomach in such mass she could almost hear them humming in her ears.
Harry pulled away once more and Ginny smiled. Harry lifted his arm against the couch, opening a crevice for her to sneak in and she cuddled into his chest. They lay there for a while, a time unknown to either, hours, days, seconds…it was all the same. All that mattered was that they were together. No Voldemort, no Phish…just Harry and Ginny and...
“James!” Ginny gasped. “Does he know that you’ve come here tonight? What does he know? Are you going to tell him about this?”
“Well, that’s sort of the last bit I wanted to tell you,” Harry began looking carefully at Ginny, “James does know…and very soon the rest of the world will, too.”
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Please review! I hope you liked the story!!
A Battle of Mind and Heart by mollyweasleyisfantastic
Chapter Notes: So basically JK Rowling is amazing and I can only pretend to have half the talent she does! But here's my attempt at some fanfic anyway and I hope you enjoy it!