A/N: I own nothing of Harry Potter!! Totally just messing around with it.
***********************
Ginny pocketed her wand as they headed out the front door, James bouncing down the steps of their small, wonderfully cozy home. She reached for his trunk, but he insisted on carrying Merrit, the beautiful snowy owl he picked out a few weeks ago. He had always told Ginny that he wanted an owl like his father from the stories she’d told him about Hedwig. Unfortunately Hedwig had disappeared with Harry’s death and Ginny had never had the heart to replace her, until now.
Ginny watched her son eye the bird carefully, being ever so cautious to not shake her cage. She thought she heard James tell the owl that she was going have loads of fun at school with him, and she pretended to smile.
I suppose he’s really leaving, then, she thought as the feeling washed over her once more. Her only son, and closest friend, was leaving the safety of her arms and taking her sanity with him. She had arranged to work much more now that he would be away; anything to occupy her mind, although her brother’s shop was hardly her ideal career.
Fred and George had created a bit of an empire with their gags and jokes, especially during the war when everyone was desperate for any sort of moment to make them smile. Weasley’s Wizards Wheezes had shops all over the world now, and the twins hadn’t much time for anything besides. That is, except for when the Order had needed them - then they were always ready and available. That was how Fred had died…the same way that Harry had, on that final night of battle. It held Ginny, as much as George, to know he had died with honor and fame which in tow only increased the popularity of the shop, which is how Fred would have wanted his death to affect the world. She felt her insides smile a bit at that last thought…even in death she could hear her brother praising the success of his business endeavor, to ensure the continuation of trouble-making everywhere.
George had asked Ginny to help run the most popular shop, in Diagon Alley, and she agreed out of desperation to get her mind off of Harry. She found that she was rather creative when it came the different potions and bobbles, and helped George invent a few of his most popular sales, but no matter how hard she tried to forget, everything reminded her of death. George reminded her of Fred, and this shop reminded her of a time when everything was warm and gentle, and her entire family was intact. Now only she, George and Ron remained.
“Do we have to ride in cars like muggles, mum?” James asked as Ginny popped open the back door to a long, slender, blue car.
“I’ve told you this before, James, we don’t really have another choice.”
James scrunched his mouth to the side in a sigh and gently set Merrit down next to himself.
Ginny, noticing his expression, smiled just a bit. “James, you’re a lot more popular than you know, and the ministry has very graciously offered us this car to get to the station instead of having to take some other muggle means, such as the tube or a carriage.” He nodded, nonplussed.
Ginny thanked the driver as he dropped James’ thick new trunk into the boot of the car and walked to the other side to let herself in.
“James…” she said, trying to figure out the perfect words, “I’ve told you a lot about your father, things that I have felt are very important for you to know about him.”
He looked at her with his powerful green eyes and she choked on her words. It was so cruel that Harry had only a few years with this toddler-turned little man who was so much becoming his father’s equal.
“Well, I suppose, I just want you to understand the meaning of all this; I want to make sure that you know why everyone knows your name, and his name.”
“It’s because he is the boy who saved the world, right?” He said nonchalantly petting Merrit.
“Well…yes, I suppose. I know we’ve talked about Voldemort, and I’ve told you all about the adventures and trials your father faced in his journey to end the Evil Wizard’s reign, yes?”
“And I’ve read all the books, and Uncle Ron has told me all sorts of stories.” Ginny nodded with a bit more ease. She had made certain to raise James with full knowledge of what his father had done for the entire world, both muggle and magical, but most importantly, for him. It was never her desire to hide anything from her son, feeling that it would be a horrible disservice to Harry’s memory and honor.
Yet even more than just the sheer love of her husband, was the fact that James Harry Potter was famous for no other reason than his father was famous, and she never wanted him to be left in the dark about his fortune, the way that her husband had been for most of his life. It was her aim to ensure that James always knew his place, though, as a wizard. He might be famous, but that was no call for arrogance or selfishness or gain. His father had been humble and modest to his end despite all possibilities of greed and cockiness, and that was the way her son would live as well.
“Well, it’s just that if anyone says anything at school, or tries to treat you differently…”
James cut her off and finished the familiar statement for her, “remember that I am the same as everyone else.”
She ruffled his hair again, which he never minded because it was in a constant state of disarray anyway, and pulled him close.
“Do you think the kids will like me?” James said quietly, his voice so similar to his fathers.
“Not with that hair,” Ginny teased and James pulled away from her hug. “I’m just kidding,” she laughed, “of course they’ll like you!”
“I suppose if they don’t I can tell them that George is my uncle…they’ll be sure to like me then!”
Ginny laughed again, knowing how true a statement that was. The Weasley twins were a bit of legend at Hogwarts, both for the things they achieved while attending, and for the store in Hogsmeade that had entertained many a student in the last decade.
“Don’t forget about Uncle Ron, either, James,” she said with a large smile. “Just wait until he comes, and then you’ll really have some friends!”
Ron was one of the most famous Quidditch players of the day and he made regular appearances at Gryffindor practices to assist the team. Every once in a while he would give Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw pointers to use against Slytherin, which some professors found rather irritating and tried to proclaim as cheating, but it never stopped Ron from doing it.
“Oh, and James, remember that while you’re at school it is Professor Weasley, not Aunt Hermione, yes?”
James nodded obviously exasperated with the exhaustive run-down Ginny was giving him. It made her feel much better knowing that the only family she had left would be so close to him while he was at school.
The rest of the car ride was pleasant enough with James asking a few nervous questions that Ginny was obliged to answer. When they pulled into King’s Cross Station, however, Ginny felt that thick, heavy lump return to her stomach, knowing it was really time to say good-bye to her son.
She purposefully moved a bit slower than usual, and made James hold her free hand as they wandered through the crowds. She didn’t see any familiar faces hovering around, and she felt her heart skip a gentle rhythm as she watched her son disappear into the brick divider between platforms nine and ten. She followed immediately behind him and saw, with breathtaking awe, the giant maroon train that had transported her to Hogwarts so many years ago. It was here that she first met the man who would someday become her husband, and she felt her eyes water as she remember what naiveté had encompassed her young life.
A loud whistle screeched over the crowds of families wishing farewells, and Ginny dropped to her knees and pulled James into an airless hug. She sucked in every ounce of strength within her body to restrain her tears as she heard the warm voice of her son speak.
“Dad would be proud of me, today, wouldn’t he?”
Ginny pulled him back slightly so that her eyes met his. “So proud,” she responded deeply, “so proud.”
______________________________________________
“Harry, stop! It’s me!” Ginny cried as Harry’s wand reached towards her chin.
“Ginny?” Harry responded in disbelief as he lowered his wand. “What are you doing here? What’s going on? Don’t you know how dangerous it is to just show up like that? I could have hurt you!” Harry’s voice simmered as he saw the gleam of tears begin to fill Ginny’s beautiful brown eyes. “Ginny?”
“Harry…” Ginny was too embarrassed and unsure of what to say.
“What’s happened?” Harry said, frightened, as he grabbed onto both of her shoulders. Ginny noticed how strong his grasp had become over the last month, and wished she had a better reason for appearing like this.
“No, Harry, no one’s hurt,” she said knowing what he was thinking, “It’s something terrible, just not…it’s just that…” Ginny burst into tears and flung her arms around Harry’s neck.
Uncertain of the cause of such tears, but familiar with them nonetheless, Harry stood unmoved, letting Ginny soak his shirt with heart-breaking sobs. He caressed her back with a soft hand, and moved her to the hole-ridden sofa that sat in the center of the tiny room. There were blankets piled messily at one end, showing sign that Harry had only woken up recently. He pushed her softly from his chest and lifted her chin to meet her eyes with his own.
“Ginny, you have to tell me what’s going on. What’s happened?”
Ginny felt her heart wretch as she gazed into the brilliance of his eyes. There was so much passion and fight amongst them, but so much weight. Dark circles had begun to form beneath and she could tell he had not gotten much rest as of late. How bad will this hurt him…Ginny contemplated as she took in a courageous breath. There was no more time for silence, and even less for secrets.
“We’re going to have a baby, Harry.” Ginny waited, feeling more guilt impound upon her.
She could see Harry swallow quietly as he sat in stillness. Sharp pains began to fill every space on Ginny’s body as she waited for him to respond.
“Are you certain? When did you find out?” He finally said in a barely audible voice.
“Just a few hours ago, and I’m fairly certain. I didn’t know what else to do but come to you first, Harry. I didn’t think we could risk telling anyone else.”
Harry nodded stiffly and stood up, walking towards the back of the couch. Ginny watched him pace ever so slowly as he ran his long fingers through his jet black hair. He stared at the ground for a moment, and Ginny could hardly stand the calm.
“Harry, I’m so, so sorry,” she began.
Harry looked up hazily and sighed as more tears poured down her flushed cheeks. He could tell that these were not the first tears she’d cried today.
“Ginny…”
“I know, Harry, I know. I’m so sorry!” She began to sob even harder, thinking that he was about to scold her for this terrible mistake.
Harry walked swiftly back around the couch and sat even closer to her than before. “No, Ginny, don’t be sorry. Please, don’t cry, Gin, you have nothing to be sorry for.”
“It’s all my fault, Harry, I was so stupid the last time I saw you. I mean, I just, I hadn’t seen you in a few weeks and I missed you so much, I didn’t take the time to think…I just…I was so stupid!” Ginny shoved her face into her hands, feeling like a failure to her secret husband.
“Ginny,” Harry said calmly, pulling her hands from her face and holding on to them with even more strength than he had with her shoulders, “I believe it takes more than you to…well…” He smiled coyly at the memory.
“But Harry, I mean, I wasn’t responsible about this, I got carried away and forgot about important details! I am so sorry!”
“You weren’t the only one to get carried away, Gin. I certainly remember being rather excited to see you myself.” He blushed a bit at this line as Ginny smiled, both remembering the way they had ravaged each other at first second alone.
There was another awkward pause and Ginny, finally calming herself, said softly, “So you’re not mad? I don’t understand, Harry, you’re not upset with me?”
“Rather elated, in fact,” he replied with a grin.
Ginny was confused, unsure of what he was possibly thinking. “What are you talking about? Harry, what are we going to do about this?”
“What do you mean ‘do about this’? We’re going to have a baby, Gin, that’s what we’re going to do.”
Again, confounded, Ginny spoke a little louder. “But…we can’t have a baby, Harry. We’re not even supposed to be married! In fact, we’re not even supposed to be dating! How would we ever manage a child in these circumstances? And what about…” She paused with an open mouth, wondering if she should add what she was thinking.
She didn’t have to.
“Voldemort?” Harry finished. “What are we going to do if he finds out? Well what were we going to do if he found about you?” Harry stood up once more and threw up his hands in frustration. “I’ve been deprived of a family my entire life, Gin, and I’m tired of it! Why, when something that is supposed to be so wonderful and good happens to me, do I have to hide it, or remove it from my life? We decided to get married even though we knew how dangerous it would be, and we knew the risk we were putting on both our lives-it didn’t matter what the world was doing around us because we were determined to be together. How then is this not possible? How is this baby any different? Why must we get find some way to not have this baby? Besides, I thought we wanted a family, Ginny.”
Ginny was quiet. There was so much running through her mind, she wasn’t sure where to start. “But how, Harry, how? I do want a family, but this is not the time.”
“I don’t know how, but we didn’t know how we would ever get married, did we? It wasn’t the right time for that, either, and somehow it worked out.”
“Yes, but Harry that was a bit different. We can hide this marriage from the eyes of the world, but how will I hide a nine-month-along swollen belly, and then a child? I certainly think the world would notice something then!” The couple stared at each other in silence, both searching for response.
Harry leaned down in front of Ginny and placed his hands on her knees. “Do you want this baby, Gin?” He asked with a very serious face.
“Oh, Harry,” she said placing her hands down upon his, “I just don’t see how it’s possible.”
“No, Gin, that’s not what I asked. Do you really want to have this baby?”
Ginny wanted this little child more than anything, but she feared if she admitted it out loud she wouldn’t have the strength to do what was necessary. As she tried to shake her head negatively she noticed a hope in Harry’s eyes that hadn’t been visible since the day they were married and her nod became an unconscious yes.
“When I proposed to you, you wouldn’t tell me yes until I told you that we would be equal partners in this marriage. You demanded that I wouldn’t try to protect you and put you on a pedestal. I’m asking you the same thing right now, with that same needed understanding from you that you demanded of me.”
Ginny watched his eyes carefully. “What do you mean, Harry?”
“I mean that, right now, I need you to gather that same strength you had when I proposed. That fire, that blaze in your eye that told me you would do anything for this, for me, because you loved and believed in me.”
“Harry, of course I love you!” Ginny said, leaning even closer to his face.
“I know you do, but I’m asking if you are willing to fight, to be strong and do whatever it takes…I’m asking you what you want to do. I don’t care about anyone else, or what we should do for any other person “ just you. I want to know what you want.”
Ginny took in a solid breath. She wasn’t sure where Harry was leading this conversation, but it didn’t scare her. She could still see that there was something fresh in his eye that she hadn’t seen in a long while, something that told her he desperately wanted this child to become part of the world he was fighting to free.
“What do I want?”
Ginny stared at her hands, still placed over Harry’s. She knew exactly what she wanted: her brothers back from death, her friends returned, the war to be over and to tell everyone about her marriage as well as to be happy rather than sad that she had conceived a child with the man she loved. But these desires could not be filled and she met Harry’s gaze with determination.
“What I want Harry James Potter, is just to be with you.”
Ginny inched closer and leaned into his lips. They were dry and rough, much like his hands, but passion flowed from them in the deepest of ways and she felt as if she couldn’t breathe for the butterflies that aroused in her stomach. Harry pulled his hands out from under hers and placed them softly on her neck, pulling her tighter into the kiss. Ginny’s arms wrapped around his waist and Harry responded quickly, gently pulling her off the couch and onto the cold, wooden floor. Grabbing a blanket on her way down, unrelenting of her kiss, Ginny felt her body collapse beneath his and was swept away in his touch.
Wrapped in her husband’s shirt, Ginny sat up and smiled at Harry, flushed and hot. She blushed a bit as he smoothed her tangled hair then reached over for one more, tender kiss.
“Harry…we can’t avoid this, you know,” she said as he stood and stretched.
“I don’t want to avoid it, Ginny, I want it.”
“Yes, well, that certainly was a distraction,” she said quietly, not meaning to be angry, but realizing reality had not been swept away in their passion.
“Is that what you thought I was doing? Distracting you?” Harry responded slightly flustered.
Ginny looked at his body and admired the muscles on his chest. “So what do we do, then? How can we hide this from everyone, least of all my mum. She’s always the first to notice when a woman is expecting, and I would think that would be in full strength with her own daughter.”
Harry looked at Ginny firmly, and she already knew what he was going to say, and she admittedly agreed.
“We can’t do this on our own, I think we both realize that. But it’s too dangerous to just tell anyone. We have to be very careful, Gin, very careful.”
“But who can we turn to, Harry? My mum would be an emotional wreck, not to mention the addition of having to tell her that we married under her nose months ago.”
Rummaging through the names of everyone they knew and trusted, passing by both Ginny’s parents as well as Hermione who would assuredly tell Ron, McGonagoll and Moody, they rested with one name, one person they knew would help them and keep their secret safe: Remus.
“I’ll send for him straight away-” Harry started, but stopped when he saw deep thought creep over Ginny’s face once more. He leaned down and kissed her softly on the forehead, next to her nose and then lastly to her lips where he stayed for a moment longer. “What are you thinking, Gin?” He asked, barely apart from her mouth.
She looked deep into his eyes with that gentle, yet powerful gaze he’d come to know and love, and said with a grin, “Can you imagine how proud you’ll be the day he gets his first Hogwarts letter?”
______________________________________________
James leaned in for one last hug then ran towards the train where a line of kids were hanging out the window, waving good-bye and laughing. James turned to smile and for a moment Ginny’s heart skipped, thinking it was Harry himself. His thin body disappeared amongst the crowd of fellow students and she waited as the train pulled away.
****************
A/N: Thank you for all the reads and reviews so far! Keep them coming!